Mom Is Shocked When Teacher Calls Her To Say The Lunches She Gives Her Son Are “Inappropriate”
Parents strive to provide their children with tasty and nutritious meals, but what happens when their kid’s tastebuds don’t match up with those of their peers?
A mother on Reddit is asking if she’s a jerk for packing her son “disgusting and inappropriate” lunches after she received a call from his teacher and heard that the food is “distracting for the other students and has an unpleasant odor.”
The woman doesn’t know what to do. Does she risk a fight with the school? Or upsetting her son by editing his menu?
This woman just received an unexpected call from her son’s teacher
Image credits: valeriygoncharukphoto (not the actual photo)
And was told to stop packing him stinky lunch
Image credits: Ferks Guare (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Ketut Subiyanto (not the actual photo)
Image credits: flowergardens0
By the time a child is 5, they can eat a healthy balanced diet like the one recommended for adults.
However, it can be quite a hassle to find what they like. Pediatrician Claire McCarthy, MD, hears parents complain about it all the time.
“All children are picky eaters at some point or in some way during childhood; it’s part of how they assert their independence,” McCarthy wrote. “But some children are pickier than others, stubbornly refusing to eat everything except a few chosen foods.”
Image credits: Tanaphong Toochinda (not the actual photo)
An article published in the journal Pediatrics gives some insight into picky eating. Researchers looked at the habits of children ages 4 to 9 and discovered that picky eaters tended to stay that way. That means that moms and dads need to start early to prevent it, preferably before their child turns 2 (and that independent streak really sets in).
“Offer lots of different foods, including lots of different fruits and vegetables,” McCarthy said. “Don’t cook a separate kids’ meal. Let your child eat what you are eating (with one important exception: no choking hazards). That obviously works best if you are eating a variety of foods, so be adventurous yourself.”
So it sounds like u/flowergardens0 might actually benefit from changing up her kid’s menu.
The aforementioned study also found that when parents were very strict about the foods that the child could and couldn’t eat or were demanding about the child’s eating, the child was more likely to be a picky eater.
“Some of that could be a chicken-or-egg thing: when a child seems picky, parents might be more likely to want them to eat healthy or high-calorie foods — and really want them to finish them,” McCarthy explained. “However well-meaning this may be, it can make things worse.”
“Much of picky eating may be related to negative thoughts and memories about certain foods, or eating in general. The more that you are upbeat and positive about eating, the more likely your child will be that way too,” the pediatrician added.
Image credits: Annie Spratt (not the actual photo)
Here are some ideas she shared on how to do that:
- Have family meals — and enjoy each other during them. “Eating together puts the emphasis on the social aspect of eating, rather than the food itself, which can be helpful,” McCarthy said. “It’s most helpful if that social aspect is pleasant, so put aside the devices and use mealtimes as time to catch up with each other, tell funny stories and otherwise enjoy the time together.”
- Don’t force a child to eat. Encourage them to try new foods, but don’t argue about it. Do not make them finish everything on their plate but try to not let them snack all day (or fill up on milk or juice) too; if possible, they should arrive at a meal hungry enough to want to eat.
- Involve your child in meal planning and preparation. “Look at recipes together; be willing to try new and different things,” McCarthy continued. “Take them shopping with you. If you have the ability to grow some foods or spices, have your child be involved in that, too.”
Hopefully, u/flowergardens0 finds a solution as well.
Some people believe the mom is doing nothing wrong, and also mentioned racism
But others said she should be more thoughtful of her son’s classmates
And some believe that “everyone sucks here”
ESH. The teacher should have handled it better. "We're in very close quarters here and have asked everyone to avoid bringing strong-smelling foods because the odors tend to linger in the classroom." That being said, the mom is sending a stink-bomb in her kid's lunchbox! You don't microwave fish in the office, you don't eat durian at the gym, and you don't send fermented food with strong-smelling cheese and a vinegar-based chili-garlic sauce to a crowded classroom.
If it were not for the fact that these foods are indeed smelly I would say that the teacher missed a great opportunity to teach respect for different cultures to the other children. I agree with ESH, the teacher was excessively harsh and as you pointed out, it would have been possible to handle this without singling out the mother. The mother also needs to understand that she is used to these smells, but others are not. She should also understand that this situation will set her son up for exclusion and bullying. Surely there are other Korean foods that he likes which are not so pungent.
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Pickled herring is common in my country, but bring it for lunch in said country and everyone WILL judge you for stinking up the place. It's basic courtesy to not bring mega smelly foods to lunch, whether those foods are foreign or not.
Kimchi, blue cheese, goat cheese and siracha left in lunch box for half a day would have me dry retching and having to leave the room. The teacher could have handled it much more professionally and politely, but your response is pretty aholeish.
Completely agree, but we’re only getting one side of the story about the teacher’s tone. Possible it played out exactly like that, but it stinks of hyperbole (see what I did there!)
Load More Replies... ESH. The teacher should have handled it better. "We're in very close quarters here and have asked everyone to avoid bringing strong-smelling foods because the odors tend to linger in the classroom." That being said, the mom is sending a stink-bomb in her kid's lunchbox! You don't microwave fish in the office, you don't eat durian at the gym, and you don't send fermented food with strong-smelling cheese and a vinegar-based chili-garlic sauce to a crowded classroom.
If it were not for the fact that these foods are indeed smelly I would say that the teacher missed a great opportunity to teach respect for different cultures to the other children. I agree with ESH, the teacher was excessively harsh and as you pointed out, it would have been possible to handle this without singling out the mother. The mother also needs to understand that she is used to these smells, but others are not. She should also understand that this situation will set her son up for exclusion and bullying. Surely there are other Korean foods that he likes which are not so pungent.
Load More Replies... Pickled herring is common in my country, but bring it for lunch in said country and everyone WILL judge you for stinking up the place. It's basic courtesy to not bring mega smelly foods to lunch, whether those foods are foreign or not.
Kimchi, blue cheese, goat cheese and siracha left in lunch box for half a day would have me dry retching and having to leave the room. The teacher could have handled it much more professionally and politely, but your response is pretty aholeish.
Completely agree, but we’re only getting one side of the story about the teacher’s tone. Possible it played out exactly like that, but it stinks of hyperbole (see what I did there!)
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