ADVERTISEMENT

In the past days, Sweden has been the center of controversy with the hashtag #Swedengate all over Twitter. It all started from an innocent question “What is the weirdest thing you had to do at someone else’s house because of their culture/religion?” which the redditor u/sebastian25525 posed on Ask Reddit.

One particular response caught everyone’s attention. “I remember going to my Swedish friend's house,” one person wrote. “And while we were playing in his room, his mom yelled that dinner was ready. And check this. He told me to WAIT in his room while they ate,” the redditor shared. The post received 31.8k upvotes, spreading like wildfire all across social media.

Many people just couldn’t wrap their head around the fact that the Swedish don’t feed their children’s guests and were eager to find out whether it’s actually true. What followed was an infinite amount of shares, reactions, memes and experiences from Swedes themselves. So let’s see what they had to say below!

Image credits: SamQari

In order to find out what Swedes themselves had to say about this cultural phenomenon, we spoke with a Swedish woman who goes by the Twitter handle @missfotografica. Having participated in the debate over Swedes not feeding their children’s kids in various Twitter threads, @missfotografica made a couple of clarifications.

First, she doesn’t think this is true today. “I remember when I was a kid in the 1980s and then it was true, at least where and when I grew up. I have no idea where that came from, but I never ate lunch or dinner at my friends'. Maybe, if some arrangement was made in advance among the parents, but that almost never happened,” she recounted. Meanwhile, @missfotografica added that her kids have always eaten at friends' houses and they have always offered lunch/dinner at theirs. “I wouldn’t dream of having someone wait in another room,” she said.

#3

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

Report

Add photo comments
POST
nightfalltwen avatar
Kimberley McMillan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This happened to my dad and grandfather when they went to visit old family friends in Scotland during my grandfather's last international trip. Popped in to visit. The friend had maybe an hour's notice and it was only supposed to be a short visit. The friend then proceeded to bring out this enormous platter of sandwiches they made during the hour before my dad and grandfather showed up.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

When asked whether Swedes ever discuss this, @missfotografica said that they never really talk about this nowadays. “It’s not a thing anymore and people today have a totally different view on this, in my opinion,” she said.

When it comes to all the chaos the news that Swedes don’t feed their children’s guests sparked on social media, @missfotografica commented: “I think most people in other countries got the idea that this is still a current thing. They didn’t get that this was 35-40 years ago.”

The woman also added that this is solely her experience: “I’m not speaking on behalf of all the people who grew up in Sweden in the ’80s, even if I have heard from several others who lived it too.” For all the critics and negative commenters out there, @missfotografica wants to say: “Just come to Sweden and have dinner with us! You are more than welcome! But to make it a bit more Swedish, please call first,” she laughed.

#6

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

Dukiswa Report

Add photo comments
POST
deadmanwalkin avatar
Raumpfleger
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Married to a Greek wife, lmao over this! On our first visits to her relatives I was constantly shouted at. 90% of all cases was about me being expected to eat something/more.

View more commentsArrow down menu

Sweden is known as home to the happiest people on earth who enjoy their nature and hearty cuisine. The country is also renowned for its quality of life, leaving many countries behind in happiness, equality and social connection. This reputation may be to blame for people on social media taking the news that Swedes don’t feed their children's guests dinner as such a shock. On the other hand, this is likely one big misunderstanding that happens all too often on social media.

ADVERTISEMENT

In response to the controversial topic, Swedish writer Linda Johansson wrote this viral opinion piece for the Independent titled “I’m Swedish – it’s true that we don’t serve food to guests. What’s the problem?” What many people on Twitter and Reddit were thinking of as a rumor or a rare quirk, according to her, was actually true.

#8

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

KantyashLive Report

Add photo comments
POST
paulclarey avatar
Paul C.
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was a grown-a*s man about 28 and after a Sunday football match was driving past my mums on the way to the pub and needed the loo. Went in, followed by two cars full of blokes needing to go as well (we had already had a drink in the clubhouse). Are you boys hungry? says mum. Within five minutes there was enough sandwiches to feed an army. They were devoured as if a plague of locusts had blown through. "Hey PC your mums a Diamond" Yes I know! She passed a few years ago now but people still mention it to me.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

Recounting her childhood, Johansson wrote: “As a child growing up in Gothenburg, I remember not really caring at all that I wasn’t being fed – I just continued playing and had a nice, quiet time while the other family had their dinner.” She added that the time when her friend was eating “was usually just a quick ‘pause’; probably because they didn’t want to mess up my family’s plans,” she wondered.

In many other cultures, this approach will not be met well, and many Twitter users shared that in the various trending threads about the topic. But Johansson did a great job of explaining the whys and buts about Swedes not feeding their kids’ guests.

ADVERTISEMENT

“The Swedish thinking goes like this: the other child (or the other family) may have plans for another kind of dinner, and you wouldn’t want to ruin the routine or preparations.”The writer also said that she doesn’t think it is anything to do with not wanting to feed the other child or because it costs money. “It’s more to do with tradition and wanting to eat with your own family,” she wrote.

#13

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

MsCrisDiamant Report

Add photo comments
POST
thandeit avatar
Random Panda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

True, my parents are very close friends with a family that is rich (we met them before they made their fortune) and we always ate something at home whenever they invited us over for dinner. They are very nice otherwise though.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

For those who wonder, the situation would be different if you were actually invited over as a proper “playdate”, Johansson explained, but that wasn’t usually the case. “We didn’t really have the same kind of formally arranged invitations. I think in many ways, Sweden is more of a free society than the UK.”

#14

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

anacarolinars Report

Add photo comments
POST
nusaybah-syed avatar
ns
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. It is 'inconceivable'.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#15

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

missfotografica Report

Add photo comments
POST
arranrichards avatar
Tobias Reaper
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my friends family used to do this when i stayed over and they are not Swedish they would say if you stay here you shouldn't expect to get fed

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#16

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

ASIF_117 Report

Add photo comments
POST
tduenkel avatar
Tim
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't get the "wait until we're done eating" part though. If that's the culture, then why don't guests leave at mealtime?

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Moreover, “Children are allowed to run around more freely there, so they would usually just knock on the door and ask if they can come in and play – and obviously, you don’t 'plan' how many children would be at your house in that instance. It would be a complete surprise. The parents wouldn’t be included, usually, they wouldn’t come over to your house or expect to be catered for,” she argues in the piece.

The offer or denial of a meal can be telling of social relations. #Swedengate shows how invites can be dependent on historical precedent, parental expectation or food wastage.

#18

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

NuuxCali1 Report

#19

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

MaggieMaeFish Report

Add photo comments
POST
jessicagillen avatar
Jessie Jess
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is me currently ... 430am and have to be up in an hour and a half to get my kids ready for school! But I'm in complete shock this is a thing!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

Meanwhile, Timothy Heffernan, a postdoctoral fellow and UNSW Sydney researcher, also shared an illuminating explanation about the controversial debate. According to him, it all comes down to cultural differences where various acts of social behavior are interpreted differently. He wrote in an article for Medium: “Localized norms have existed in all cultures across history. Denial isn’t necessarily an act of inhospitality – it just points to cultural norms, contested as they may be, as seen through the #Swedengate controversy.”

ADVERTISEMENT

Moreover, according to Heffernan, “localized norms have existed in all cultures across history. Denial isn’t necessarily an act of inhospitality – it just points to cultural norms, contested as they may be, as seen through the #Swedengate controversy.”

#21

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

koviebiakolo Report

Add photo comments
POST
saamaas_1 avatar
WoodenLion
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

hopefully sweden will be fully recovered quickly. flower's & snow - right?

View more commentsArrow down menu
#22

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

luckytilldeathx Report

Add photo comments
POST
saamaas_1 avatar
WoodenLion
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

no kidding - i thought everything was flowers and snow in sweden. {it's just culture though i think} still, ya' gotta' feed them little hungry folk.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#23

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

Bill_Gerrard Report

Add photo comments
POST
kadri-annraidlepp avatar
Kat
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Midsommar, one of the weirdest and one of the few horror movies I've actually liked.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#24

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

HelenaBrors Report

Add photo comments
POST
francinegovan avatar
Francine Govan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Do kids bring sandwiches with them so they don't, y'know .... STARVE? Swedish sleepovers seem like they'd be the WORST!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#25

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

OriolGV Report

Add photo comments
POST
meganalinde avatar
MAL
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As a Midwesterner in the US, this is baffling. We don't even ask if you're hungry. At the very least a plate of cheese, crackers, and sausage will be out for everyone to snack on at all times. If you're at our place at dinner time, we just automatically set you a place and usually stuff you so full you can't move afterwards. Then we give you leftovers to take home.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
See Also on Bored Panda
#27

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

carlwilliamkul1 Report

Add photo comments
POST
saderman avatar
Shelli Aderman
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Jewish mother’s soul is on fire! COME TO MY HOUSE, I WILL FEED YOU ALL! 💕

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#28

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

dilliberdudu Report

Add photo comments
POST
#29

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

acidic_stomach Report

Add photo comments
POST
#30

Swedes-Dont-Feed-Guest-Kids-Reactions

wingsofagoddes Report

Note: this post originally had 58 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.