Tumblr Users Explain Why It Is Important To Take Care Of Men’s Emotional Needs And It Will Encourage You To Compliment Men More
It’s not the first time that we’ve touched upon the problem of toxic masculinity and how widespread it is. It’s a common concept that half of the world’s population is supposed to ‘man up’ and hide away their emotions to be perceived as strong and serious. A big chunk of our society paints a man that steps outside of the unwritten rules as ‘weak’ or ‘feminine’ and that not only feeds into the problem of misogyny, but also creates an environment where boys and men aren’t allowed to deal with their emotions. They aren’t supposed to want or ask for care and soft things, going as far as men being terrified of crying. One Tumblr user, seeing this flaw in our culture, decided to share how she treats her boyfriend and how good it is to let men be human beings and express their emotions and needs. People quickly joined in with their own experiences as well as diving into the topic of toxic masculinity and analyzing how it affects the society, as well as individuals. Scroll down below to read what they had to say, and don’t forget to tell us what you think!
One woman on Tumblr shared how she takes care of her boyfriend’s emotional needs and people quickly joined in with their own stories
Image credits: Antonio Trogu
People went on to discuss how and why toxic masculinity affects lives and how to prevent it
Image credits: Jemma Harwood
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I love this post. This is one of the areas where men are in worse situation than women. They DO need and like compliments but they cannot (or so they think) expect and required it. When woman says: "Tell me how much you love me", nobody thinks this is a big deal. When man says something like this, people find him unmanly and/or forcing. I love to say my male friends compliments,partially because I see how important it is for them. They also feel insecure, ugly or unloved, these feelings are not reserved for women.
I will get downvoted to hell, but basically feminism isn't just about women, it's been about men freeing up emotion and the stringent emotional roll they were given in the stultifying mid-century. It's too bad fear-encrusted people have turned it into an epithet.
That's the entire point of feminism as far as I've ever known. So no down votes for you.
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Not only men are told this, but girls are too. I get bullied and harassed, well I did when I was a lot younger for showing ANY feeling. Then in 6th grade I showed none and I was called heartless. 7th grade my emotions came and I was bullied servely for it again. 8th grade I committed an act of suicide (which clearly failed), in 9th grade I started to get little help, but I had no damn shoulder to lean on. My boyfriend abused my just like my family does. 10th grade I ran away, then the cops found me in poor conditions. 12th grade, here I am. No support. I am a girl, no friends, no support. No boyfriend because none like me, or were true to me. Not only boys need love and comfort, but girls do as well. I suffer anxiety, severe depression, and more from it.
I know I can't help you thousands of miles away but I wanted to offer you hope... My school days were like that. I tried to end it all at 15, 16 and 21. I had no friends and got abuse at home. At the time that was all there was and I could see no escape. But life is more than school. Life will be big and bold and beautiful and exciting and just incredible, if you can keep going. I had made friends and travelled and moved away from home and had flings with men and had a crazy amount of fun but at 28 I had broken up woth my boyfriend, was practically homeless, jobless and depressed. At 29 I was married, pregnant, new home and a manager. Life is crazy, you never know what's arpund the corner. I love my life. I love myself. I'm 35 now. Keep going. You're worth it xxx
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as a guy i can agree with this. we act like we dont want the compliments and hugs cause thats what society has told us to be like. i dont listen to society as much but times not having anyone to have this kind of relationship with just forces that upon you. for me personally when a girl hugs me out of nowhere i kinda curl up cause i dont know why they do it but inside feel happy cause someone cared enough to come up to me and do that. also on that note is also the way people look at you, im looked at at my school as the teen who hates conversations and doesnt want anything emotional (ive been called a robot before), but thats honestly the complete opposite but its how i act and what i do.
I think that's why there are so many angry med right now. They don't get, or never got, the emotional attention they need. All humans need to feel loved and valued.
We all have an emotional side and a wish to be happy. We always just assume that boys like action figures and girls love dolls. When I was younger, I liked playing the LEGO Friends with my sister. Heck, we spent a whole summer earning money just to get it. We need to teach boys that you can like Conan the Barbarian and Warrior Xenia princess. No one doesn’t have emotions, that’s mainly why we debate things. I like rom coms, cute things, cuddles and all sorts of other things considered ‘girl stuff’. I love this post because, it means that more people will learn not to see toxic masculinity as the only way of being a man.
This is sweet, all this people are so caring that it makes me melt. :)
My favourite Rom Com is While You Were Sleeping. I hope that if men become more emotionally intellgient we will see a drop in suicides, and hopefully in domestic abuse and random drunken fights on a friday night.
This is what I want. I want to find someone who I can shower with compliments, hugs, forehead kisses, and an abundance of love and happiness. I feel like this is actually really hard to find but I hope I do one day. I don't know about anyone else here but the idea of reading a book while putting my hands through a significant others hair as they rest on my lap ... it totally got me daydreaming, smiling and hoping I get that one day. Truly, I do believe for some of us that is the dream. Xo
I think this is good, but it does need to go both ways. If all the emotional effort is coming from the woman, that doesnt work either. Both should be emotionally supportive of eachother.
This post make me call my ex husband and tell him all the great things I remembered about him, although we are in a ugly battle with Court, lawyers and kids. Just give him emotional support that I know he lost when we separated, because he was always saying that I need to have a kid to stop treating him like my little cutie baby girl. Yes , I was this kind of wife.
I agree we can treat people different. But toxic masculinity is liberal propoganda
My favourite compliment was being offered the chance to join MENSA. My favourite insult was finding out you have to pay a membership fee to have the "privilege" of joining, after paying to take the test used to admit you. As from compliments I've received from women, the best I've gotten from non-relatives is "Eww."
Good luck m8 doctor strange wishes you well on the spirit realm
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Women need to their significant other's burdens, and men need to allow it. Of course, the reciprocal is true as well. Sadly, I think that that most men struggle allowing others to help them emotionally. I know that is true of me.
I love all these women correcting mens' behavior and saving them from themselves. Imagine a thread where men said what women aught to do.... oh wait, that's oppressive chauvinism ... my bad. Ladies you have enough problems about yourself you can't solve, don't worry about ours.
There's give and take in relationships. I don't object to men having their own ideas about what they like in a relationship. I've had to modify my behaviour and my husband has evolved as well. I can understand the need to wait before discussing problems.Some, who don't like discussing problems at all, either compensate with other qualities, or have relationships with those who prefer the strong and silent type.
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I looooove this post. That's why when my Japanese student asked me whether I have a boyfriend or not, I told him I don't have one but if I get a boyfriend, I will surely take care of him in every way possible.
Clearly you got some baggage here. Well, you may have had extraordinary bad luck, but you're probably dating the wrong people. Try to find someone who will actually care about you, and you'll see that this post is correct.
Load More Replies...
Shut up and just appreciate the positive post instead of trying to be smart. Aren't you a man? Don't you need emotional support sometimes? Jeez
Load More Replies...
I love this post. This is one of the areas where men are in worse situation than women. They DO need and like compliments but they cannot (or so they think) expect and required it. When woman says: "Tell me how much you love me", nobody thinks this is a big deal. When man says something like this, people find him unmanly and/or forcing. I love to say my male friends compliments,partially because I see how important it is for them. They also feel insecure, ugly or unloved, these feelings are not reserved for women.
I will get downvoted to hell, but basically feminism isn't just about women, it's been about men freeing up emotion and the stringent emotional roll they were given in the stultifying mid-century. It's too bad fear-encrusted people have turned it into an epithet.
That's the entire point of feminism as far as I've ever known. So no down votes for you.
Load More Replies... Not only men are told this, but girls are too. I get bullied and harassed, well I did when I was a lot younger for showing ANY feeling. Then in 6th grade I showed none and I was called heartless. 7th grade my emotions came and I was bullied servely for it again. 8th grade I committed an act of suicide (which clearly failed), in 9th grade I started to get little help, but I had no damn shoulder to lean on. My boyfriend abused my just like my family does. 10th grade I ran away, then the cops found me in poor conditions. 12th grade, here I am. No support. I am a girl, no friends, no support. No boyfriend because none like me, or were true to me. Not only boys need love and comfort, but girls do as well. I suffer anxiety, severe depression, and more from it.
I know I can't help you thousands of miles away but I wanted to offer you hope... My school days were like that. I tried to end it all at 15, 16 and 21. I had no friends and got abuse at home. At the time that was all there was and I could see no escape. But life is more than school. Life will be big and bold and beautiful and exciting and just incredible, if you can keep going. I had made friends and travelled and moved away from home and had flings with men and had a crazy amount of fun but at 28 I had broken up woth my boyfriend, was practically homeless, jobless and depressed. At 29 I was married, pregnant, new home and a manager. Life is crazy, you never know what's arpund the corner. I love my life. I love myself. I'm 35 now. Keep going. You're worth it xxx
Load More Replies... as a guy i can agree with this. we act like we dont want the compliments and hugs cause thats what society has told us to be like. i dont listen to society as much but times not having anyone to have this kind of relationship with just forces that upon you. for me personally when a girl hugs me out of nowhere i kinda curl up cause i dont know why they do it but inside feel happy cause someone cared enough to come up to me and do that. also on that note is also the way people look at you, im looked at at my school as the teen who hates conversations and doesnt want anything emotional (ive been called a robot before), but thats honestly the complete opposite but its how i act and what i do.
I think that's why there are so many angry med right now. They don't get, or never got, the emotional attention they need. All humans need to feel loved and valued.
We all have an emotional side and a wish to be happy. We always just assume that boys like action figures and girls love dolls. When I was younger, I liked playing the LEGO Friends with my sister. Heck, we spent a whole summer earning money just to get it. We need to teach boys that you can like Conan the Barbarian and Warrior Xenia princess. No one doesn’t have emotions, that’s mainly why we debate things. I like rom coms, cute things, cuddles and all sorts of other things considered ‘girl stuff’. I love this post because, it means that more people will learn not to see toxic masculinity as the only way of being a man.
This is sweet, all this people are so caring that it makes me melt. :)
My favourite Rom Com is While You Were Sleeping. I hope that if men become more emotionally intellgient we will see a drop in suicides, and hopefully in domestic abuse and random drunken fights on a friday night.
This is what I want. I want to find someone who I can shower with compliments, hugs, forehead kisses, and an abundance of love and happiness. I feel like this is actually really hard to find but I hope I do one day. I don't know about anyone else here but the idea of reading a book while putting my hands through a significant others hair as they rest on my lap ... it totally got me daydreaming, smiling and hoping I get that one day. Truly, I do believe for some of us that is the dream. Xo
I think this is good, but it does need to go both ways. If all the emotional effort is coming from the woman, that doesnt work either. Both should be emotionally supportive of eachother.
This post make me call my ex husband and tell him all the great things I remembered about him, although we are in a ugly battle with Court, lawyers and kids. Just give him emotional support that I know he lost when we separated, because he was always saying that I need to have a kid to stop treating him like my little cutie baby girl. Yes , I was this kind of wife.
I agree we can treat people different. But toxic masculinity is liberal propoganda
My favourite compliment was being offered the chance to join MENSA. My favourite insult was finding out you have to pay a membership fee to have the "privilege" of joining, after paying to take the test used to admit you. As from compliments I've received from women, the best I've gotten from non-relatives is "Eww."
Good luck m8 doctor strange wishes you well on the spirit realm
Load More Replies... Women need to their significant other's burdens, and men need to allow it. Of course, the reciprocal is true as well. Sadly, I think that that most men struggle allowing others to help them emotionally. I know that is true of me.
I love all these women correcting mens' behavior and saving them from themselves. Imagine a thread where men said what women aught to do.... oh wait, that's oppressive chauvinism ... my bad. Ladies you have enough problems about yourself you can't solve, don't worry about ours.
There's give and take in relationships. I don't object to men having their own ideas about what they like in a relationship. I've had to modify my behaviour and my husband has evolved as well. I can understand the need to wait before discussing problems.Some, who don't like discussing problems at all, either compensate with other qualities, or have relationships with those who prefer the strong and silent type.
Load More Replies... I looooove this post. That's why when my Japanese student asked me whether I have a boyfriend or not, I told him I don't have one but if I get a boyfriend, I will surely take care of him in every way possible.
Clearly you got some baggage here. Well, you may have had extraordinary bad luck, but you're probably dating the wrong people. Try to find someone who will actually care about you, and you'll see that this post is correct.
Load More Replies... Shut up and just appreciate the positive post instead of trying to be smart. Aren't you a man? Don't you need emotional support sometimes? Jeez
Load More Replies... 
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