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30 Times Folks Got Roasted In The Most Brilliant Ways, Shared In This Viral Twitter Thread
Funnily enough, people can get really creative when it comes to making the person that the insult is addressed to feel more than awful. Receiving insults is not the most pleasant experience, but once all the negative feelings are gone and wounds are healed, there is surely plenty of space to have a good laugh about the mean sayings that flew out of people’s mouths. And at the end of the day, if you have your favorite compliment, there must be a favorite insult out there too.
Twitter user @NatalieZed decided to break the silence and finally find out all the nastiest things that people said to one another that were nothing but brutally honest and pretty hilarious. Vote for your favorite ones, get inspired, and insult away. After all, it seems that offense is mostly taken and not given.
More info: Twitter
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oh my lord. "Effin' Birds" is the name of this book and it is a GD riot!
Not getting sauce with your 20 nuggets is a very good reason for an almost-crying face.
I'm not gonna engage with someone who lacks feelings to the degree where they don't care that they have to chomp down 20 dry ass chicken cubes with no lube
I have one that may be better: some time ago two boys in my middle school were engaged in an argument that had somehow turned into a playful roasting session. One boy told the other something like "I'm gonna smoke you" (leave you in smoke or something). The other boy (without hesitation) shot back "Oh, really? The only smoke you know about is from your PC overheating in your mom mamma's basement!" Still to this day the best roast I have ever heard. He was referred to afterwards as the roast king.
And you sir can't fathom the depths of my boredom that I found it more intellectually stimulating to talk to someone during your class. I understand if you down vote me. Sometimes I just can't resist sarcasm.
Note: this post originally had 42 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I had one guy call me a "f*cking f@ggot" once. I told him that well yes, I was gay, and I certainly did like to have sexual intercourse, and then congratulated him on his astute observation skills. He was really confused.
I was working in Saudi Arabia and witnessed a 'disagreement' between a gentleman from India & a gentleman from Bangladesh. Their only common -albeit broken-language was English. I never forgot the insult/curse/whatever. "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your man-furries!" Almost pee'd myself laughing....
I've been told that i have a bitch face sometimes! I take it as a compliment!
I am a tall female brunette with glasses and I was walking near downtown Seattle when a man called out to me "Girl, I want you to come home with me and do my taxes!" Insult or come on? I'm still not sure but I loved it :)
I was told I was like Marilyn from the Munsters. I look boringly ordinary, but when you talk to me you realize I'm a huge weirdo.
Some little punk was trying to bully my 10 year old nephew out of his lunch money. He told him: "I left all my money on your mom's dresser." I'm SO proud of him!
Why does your 10 year old nephew know how prostitution works?
Load More Replies... Well, I 'd have have to go with 'multicoloured freak show'. Does anyone even require context?
I was once told by a guy that I was so girly, if I had been born a man I would have been a flaming homosexual. I took that as a compliment. Also, was told through the grapevine that a VP of Communications called me a pushy broad. Compliment. These next 2 were spot-on considering how I was dressed (both times I was going to a psychobilly show) - I was called both a godless jezebelle and a shameless hussy (2 separate times, both by little old ladies and both in a Wawa while I was getting coffee). Total compliments!!!
Had a guy once tell me my legs would go all the way to my neck if my a**e didn’t get in the way. And he meant it as a compliment 🤨
https://youtu.be/MAUJ7Pt8_vs was the first thing that sprang to mind 😂
Load More Replies...
I have been told I look like a "hot Olive Oil (Popeye's girlfriend)" and John Lennon
I‘m not very pretty. Once while at work, two students came to our counter and wanted to take a photo with me because it was part of a challenge they had to do (common thing here for newbie students). I told them I didn‘t like photos of me being taken and one of them looked me up and down and said, "Yeah, I get that." Not a nice feeling...
Hey Kari, screw those turds. You're perfect just the way you are.
Load More Replies...
I worked in a beautysalon as a receptionist. I was the one who had to run the place. I was 21 then. We always had the agreement that the last person using a room ,also cleaned it. Once a 45 yo employee didn't so I asked her to clean it. She got angry and said'' I don't have to listen to a girl with a face of a 16yo .'' My answer was '' well thank you and yes you have to listen''.
Way, way back in days when I was trying to become an actor, I was in a shoe commercial with 5 other girls. I had shoulder length red hair at the time, and on my way to the bathroom when I heard the behind the camera people talking about us, none of us by name, and I was ‘The little red one, looks like a poor mans Scully’ I’m sure it was meant to be an insult, but Gillian Anderson is a f*****g Queen, so I’ll take it!
Crackhead in Vegas told me I looked like a broke-down Tina Turner and I LOVED it. Still one of my fondest Vegas memories.
Not me, but I ran a GameStop once and some dude came in trying to sell a stolen iPhone that red flagged and when my employee turned him away (professionally as hell) he called her an “owl eyed lookin child”. I promptly banned him and I’ve never forgotten it. Just what?
Once my co=worker was telling me she met a girl who was very similar to me. I joked it was my evil twin, and she said "I thought you were the evil one".
When I was working as an assistant in kindergarten, I had very long hair (like under butt lenght). One day I let it loose an a 5-y-o girl stared at me in awe and said : "You have such beautiful hair! You could be a princess if you were prettier! "
In the YouTube comments section of one of my favorite singers' songs, one dude wrote "all makeup, no talent". I replied "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll improve someday. It's all right." Not quite a good comeback, but I am proud of it. (He called me a dunce for saying "all right" instead of "alright". Well guess what, jerk? I'm using the grammatically correct version! The comment got taken down, but I'm still proud XD)
I was waiting in line to board a plane and I was excited cause I haven’t been on a airplane in years. So I’m smiling and happy wearing a colorful dress that matched my colorful tattoos. A large group of Mormon women were going through the terminal (long dresses and hair in a bun) and I make eye contact with one of the older women in the group, so with a smile on my face, I give her a little hello nod of my head. She stops walking and scowls at me and says, “DON’T LOOK AT ME SATAN!” And walks off. My smile falters but I’m cool. The guy behind me then said to me “did that just happen” I say “Yup” and he pats me on the shoulder. So now every once in a while my husband and I say this to each other when playing around. 😈
I once had a guy tell me in a club: "You dance so well, you don't even have to take off your clothes." I was utterly repulsed - but also a little bit flattered...
When I was 12 I'd already had grown quite some impressive boobs in a matter of a few months. Which wasn't really an issue in the winter. But when spring came and sweaters were traded in for t-shirts it became very obvious all of a sudden. One of my female classmates kept making rude remark until one day she felt the need to shame me for my "big boobs" in front of the entire class. So I told her "well at least I already got a pair. You'll just have to wait and see wether yours will come in natural, or if daddy will have to buy some for you" I mean no disrespect to people for undergoing breast surgery or anything. But that moment ended her ongoing bullying
Ugh... some of these (even ones near the top) are *not* what the post is supposed to be about. The title is "insults you have *received*". The fun is saying "I was insulted, but it was so good, I wasn't mad". It is an interesting and different twist on the subject. But people have to go and say "my daughter cleverly insulted this kid", or "look at my witty reply to an insult". Read the instructions people.
Primary school teacher here- I taught a kid, 10 years old, who when upset would call others a f*cking b*itch/c*nt etc absolutely foul language but he quite liked me. So when I upset him, he called me a bozo!! I've been called so much worse but this is my all time fav insult,
I'm short, and I told my friend I'd be right back as I had to go to the bathroom. He said, "You better take a running leap or you'll never reach the top of the seat".
One time in a pub, I went to the bar to order some shots and the guy sitting and drinking there looked at me and went "don't go near me you witch, you won't steal my soul!" and proceeded to move two chairs away. Best "insult" I've received for being ginger. :D
When I was at primary school, I think I was 10 at the time, the insult of the time was gay. I got called gay for some reason and I replied with, ‘yes I am very happy thank you.’ I couldn’t tell if they were more confused over what I meant or that I wasn’t offended by what they said!
Brothers are great aren't they? My bro said to me once "you're taller than me when you sit down as your ass is huge" LOL brilliant
I was told the sun reflecting off my bald spot was a beacon to be shot.
Someone once told me "Your handwriting is so bad you could be a doctor!"
When I was a teenager, I was living with a friend and her family. Her older sister stopped by with her kids. I was coming home from school and wearing this army green bomber style jacket. I walk through the door and everyone is laughing because her sister had yelled "Why is there a homeless person walking up the driveway?!" She spent the rest of the night apologizing to me. Lol
Not me, but a friend of mine once found a random video on YouTube of him dancing in a night club, with the title: "This is why you shouldn't do drugs." He doesn't take drugs, but apparently the person who randomly filmed him thought he was stoned. 😂
I was the Program Director at a preschool and a parent called me HITLER because I made the decision to expel her child from our facility. The kid was a 3 year old bully who would attack anybody; we offered the parent help for her child but she said her baby was an angel and I was the bad guy…just before he slapped her in the face.
I often get the typical "F****t!" "Cut yer hair!" "Are ya a monkey!" s**t yelled by blokes from cars and it's a bit old. And by girls it's usually been "Love ya hair!" or something that would have a bloke locked up for sexual harassment, and it's also a bit old by now. So when I was crossing a road and a girl stuck her head out the back seat window and got my attention "Excuse me..." and the perfectly timed "...Miss?" it f*****g cracked me up. Cheeky bitch! And they drive off laughing and I laughed the rest of the way home.
i was walking to a goth night and some random guy told me "you look like you're straight out of a david lynch movie" why thanks!
I’ve recently decided to start exercising again and bought myself a bunch of pink equipment which I thought would motivate me to do my workouts. I’ve stopped after a month due to bad mood and my dad told me “All the pink equipment you’ve bought and the only thing you use is your pink dinner plate”. Well he was right
It's fun when someone tries to use sarcasm as an insult and it backfires. It makes it look like they're really bad at knowing the difference between an insult and a compliment. Which, if we're fair, they clearly are if they think that saying something nice to someone in a condescending tone changes the fact that they're saying something nice.
when a kid in my class, we will call him aidan(not his name) touched my desk continuesly, i said: you must really like my desk.
In Canada's infamous Tim Hortons coffee shop there is one day a year called "Camp Day" where proceeds go to help children experience going to camp. My sister in law worked there when I was dating my husband (her brother) and we hadn't seen her for a while, in that time she gained some weight , the funniest insult I've ever heard from anyone was my husband saying to her "Jesus Jenny!! Are you trying to send a 1000 kids to camp? That was 20 years ago, both my sons work there now and when Camp Day comes around I still mention it and they've told their co-workers the story to make them laugh. Ahh siblings!!
The best insult I have ever heard was from my sister, though not aimed at me. After demonstranting in different ways why the intern suggestion wasn't feasable, the intern sttubornly replied " I think it works!". To which my sister just snapped "Don't worry, at least yours is the kingdom of heaven!". "What do you mean?" asked the intern. My sister sighed "Blessed are the poor of spirit..."
I had one guy call me a "f*cking f@ggot" once. I told him that well yes, I was gay, and I certainly did like to have sexual intercourse, and then congratulated him on his astute observation skills. He was really confused.
I was working in Saudi Arabia and witnessed a 'disagreement' between a gentleman from India & a gentleman from Bangladesh. Their only common -albeit broken-language was English. I never forgot the insult/curse/whatever. "May the fleas of a thousand camels infest your man-furries!" Almost pee'd myself laughing....
I've been told that i have a bitch face sometimes! I take it as a compliment!
I am a tall female brunette with glasses and I was walking near downtown Seattle when a man called out to me "Girl, I want you to come home with me and do my taxes!" Insult or come on? I'm still not sure but I loved it :)
I was told I was like Marilyn from the Munsters. I look boringly ordinary, but when you talk to me you realize I'm a huge weirdo.
Some little punk was trying to bully my 10 year old nephew out of his lunch money. He told him: "I left all my money on your mom's dresser." I'm SO proud of him!
Why does your 10 year old nephew know how prostitution works?
Load More Replies... Well, I 'd have have to go with 'multicoloured freak show'. Does anyone even require context?
I was once told by a guy that I was so girly, if I had been born a man I would have been a flaming homosexual. I took that as a compliment. Also, was told through the grapevine that a VP of Communications called me a pushy broad. Compliment. These next 2 were spot-on considering how I was dressed (both times I was going to a psychobilly show) - I was called both a godless jezebelle and a shameless hussy (2 separate times, both by little old ladies and both in a Wawa while I was getting coffee). Total compliments!!!
Had a guy once tell me my legs would go all the way to my neck if my a**e didn’t get in the way. And he meant it as a compliment 🤨
https://youtu.be/MAUJ7Pt8_vs was the first thing that sprang to mind 😂
Load More Replies... I have been told I look like a "hot Olive Oil (Popeye's girlfriend)" and John Lennon
I‘m not very pretty. Once while at work, two students came to our counter and wanted to take a photo with me because it was part of a challenge they had to do (common thing here for newbie students). I told them I didn‘t like photos of me being taken and one of them looked me up and down and said, "Yeah, I get that." Not a nice feeling...
Hey Kari, screw those turds. You're perfect just the way you are.
Load More Replies... I worked in a beautysalon as a receptionist. I was the one who had to run the place. I was 21 then. We always had the agreement that the last person using a room ,also cleaned it. Once a 45 yo employee didn't so I asked her to clean it. She got angry and said'' I don't have to listen to a girl with a face of a 16yo .'' My answer was '' well thank you and yes you have to listen''.
Way, way back in days when I was trying to become an actor, I was in a shoe commercial with 5 other girls. I had shoulder length red hair at the time, and on my way to the bathroom when I heard the behind the camera people talking about us, none of us by name, and I was ‘The little red one, looks like a poor mans Scully’ I’m sure it was meant to be an insult, but Gillian Anderson is a f*****g Queen, so I’ll take it!
Crackhead in Vegas told me I looked like a broke-down Tina Turner and I LOVED it. Still one of my fondest Vegas memories.
Not me, but I ran a GameStop once and some dude came in trying to sell a stolen iPhone that red flagged and when my employee turned him away (professionally as hell) he called her an “owl eyed lookin child”. I promptly banned him and I’ve never forgotten it. Just what?
Once my co=worker was telling me she met a girl who was very similar to me. I joked it was my evil twin, and she said "I thought you were the evil one".
When I was working as an assistant in kindergarten, I had very long hair (like under butt lenght). One day I let it loose an a 5-y-o girl stared at me in awe and said : "You have such beautiful hair! You could be a princess if you were prettier! "
In the YouTube comments section of one of my favorite singers' songs, one dude wrote "all makeup, no talent". I replied "Don't worry, I'm sure you'll improve someday. It's all right." Not quite a good comeback, but I am proud of it. (He called me a dunce for saying "all right" instead of "alright". Well guess what, jerk? I'm using the grammatically correct version! The comment got taken down, but I'm still proud XD)
I was waiting in line to board a plane and I was excited cause I haven’t been on a airplane in years. So I’m smiling and happy wearing a colorful dress that matched my colorful tattoos. A large group of Mormon women were going through the terminal (long dresses and hair in a bun) and I make eye contact with one of the older women in the group, so with a smile on my face, I give her a little hello nod of my head. She stops walking and scowls at me and says, “DON’T LOOK AT ME SATAN!” And walks off. My smile falters but I’m cool. The guy behind me then said to me “did that just happen” I say “Yup” and he pats me on the shoulder. So now every once in a while my husband and I say this to each other when playing around. 😈
I once had a guy tell me in a club: "You dance so well, you don't even have to take off your clothes." I was utterly repulsed - but also a little bit flattered...
When I was 12 I'd already had grown quite some impressive boobs in a matter of a few months. Which wasn't really an issue in the winter. But when spring came and sweaters were traded in for t-shirts it became very obvious all of a sudden. One of my female classmates kept making rude remark until one day she felt the need to shame me for my "big boobs" in front of the entire class. So I told her "well at least I already got a pair. You'll just have to wait and see wether yours will come in natural, or if daddy will have to buy some for you" I mean no disrespect to people for undergoing breast surgery or anything. But that moment ended her ongoing bullying
Ugh... some of these (even ones near the top) are *not* what the post is supposed to be about. The title is "insults you have *received*". The fun is saying "I was insulted, but it was so good, I wasn't mad". It is an interesting and different twist on the subject. But people have to go and say "my daughter cleverly insulted this kid", or "look at my witty reply to an insult". Read the instructions people.
Primary school teacher here- I taught a kid, 10 years old, who when upset would call others a f*cking b*itch/c*nt etc absolutely foul language but he quite liked me. So when I upset him, he called me a bozo!! I've been called so much worse but this is my all time fav insult,
I'm short, and I told my friend I'd be right back as I had to go to the bathroom. He said, "You better take a running leap or you'll never reach the top of the seat".
One time in a pub, I went to the bar to order some shots and the guy sitting and drinking there looked at me and went "don't go near me you witch, you won't steal my soul!" and proceeded to move two chairs away. Best "insult" I've received for being ginger. :D
When I was at primary school, I think I was 10 at the time, the insult of the time was gay. I got called gay for some reason and I replied with, ‘yes I am very happy thank you.’ I couldn’t tell if they were more confused over what I meant or that I wasn’t offended by what they said!
Brothers are great aren't they? My bro said to me once "you're taller than me when you sit down as your ass is huge" LOL brilliant
I was told the sun reflecting off my bald spot was a beacon to be shot.
Someone once told me "Your handwriting is so bad you could be a doctor!"
When I was a teenager, I was living with a friend and her family. Her older sister stopped by with her kids. I was coming home from school and wearing this army green bomber style jacket. I walk through the door and everyone is laughing because her sister had yelled "Why is there a homeless person walking up the driveway?!" She spent the rest of the night apologizing to me. Lol
Not me, but a friend of mine once found a random video on YouTube of him dancing in a night club, with the title: "This is why you shouldn't do drugs." He doesn't take drugs, but apparently the person who randomly filmed him thought he was stoned. 😂
I was the Program Director at a preschool and a parent called me HITLER because I made the decision to expel her child from our facility. The kid was a 3 year old bully who would attack anybody; we offered the parent help for her child but she said her baby was an angel and I was the bad guy…just before he slapped her in the face.
I often get the typical "F****t!" "Cut yer hair!" "Are ya a monkey!" s**t yelled by blokes from cars and it's a bit old. And by girls it's usually been "Love ya hair!" or something that would have a bloke locked up for sexual harassment, and it's also a bit old by now. So when I was crossing a road and a girl stuck her head out the back seat window and got my attention "Excuse me..." and the perfectly timed "...Miss?" it f*****g cracked me up. Cheeky bitch! And they drive off laughing and I laughed the rest of the way home.
i was walking to a goth night and some random guy told me "you look like you're straight out of a david lynch movie" why thanks!
I’ve recently decided to start exercising again and bought myself a bunch of pink equipment which I thought would motivate me to do my workouts. I’ve stopped after a month due to bad mood and my dad told me “All the pink equipment you’ve bought and the only thing you use is your pink dinner plate”. Well he was right
It's fun when someone tries to use sarcasm as an insult and it backfires. It makes it look like they're really bad at knowing the difference between an insult and a compliment. Which, if we're fair, they clearly are if they think that saying something nice to someone in a condescending tone changes the fact that they're saying something nice.
when a kid in my class, we will call him aidan(not his name) touched my desk continuesly, i said: you must really like my desk.
In Canada's infamous Tim Hortons coffee shop there is one day a year called "Camp Day" where proceeds go to help children experience going to camp. My sister in law worked there when I was dating my husband (her brother) and we hadn't seen her for a while, in that time she gained some weight , the funniest insult I've ever heard from anyone was my husband saying to her "Jesus Jenny!! Are you trying to send a 1000 kids to camp? That was 20 years ago, both my sons work there now and when Camp Day comes around I still mention it and they've told their co-workers the story to make them laugh. Ahh siblings!!
The best insult I have ever heard was from my sister, though not aimed at me. After demonstranting in different ways why the intern suggestion wasn't feasable, the intern sttubornly replied " I think it works!". To which my sister just snapped "Don't worry, at least yours is the kingdom of heaven!". "What do you mean?" asked the intern. My sister sighed "Blessed are the poor of spirit..."
