There is hardly anything better than waking up at the crack of dawn and making some English breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, a bit of toast with marmalade, and a large mug of Earl Grey tea. And what better way to enjoy this feast than by eating it whilst you read the morning newspapers?

Unfortunately, some newspaper headlines can make us do a spit-take and drench the entire page in delicious tea (splash of milk, no sugar). You know the type of headlines that I mean: unintentionally amusing, very silly, and quite obvious how stupid they are if the overworked editors would look at them with a pair of fresh eyes.

Our team at Bored Panda has run, flown, and swum all over the planet looking for hilarious and idiotic newspaper articles, all for your amusement. So put your reading glasses on, scroll down, and upvote the headlines you enjoyed. We’d love to hear about any peculiar and giggle-worthy headlines that you’ve come across; even better if you’ve come up with them yourselves!

#1

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Tracy Moorhead
Community Member
1 year ago

Thank God, how scary would that be?!?

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#2

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Good thing he/she didn't become an engineer, then...

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#3

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Tracy Moorhead
Community Member
1 year ago

We're doing something right!!

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I adore newspapers, just like I love books, writing things in notebooks, watering my ficus tree, and sketching on real paper. They’re real things that don’t disappear once the power goes out, the internet goes down, or the moment a zombie outbreak starts (Max Brooks’ ‘The Zombie Survival Guide’ will be worth its weight in gold then and I keep it by my bed at all times). However, times are changing. More and more news and entertainment can be found in the digital world. Which means that the print media industry is slowly declining.

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Or maybe even 20.

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#5

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Danish Dynomummy
Community Member
1 year ago

Ah, I see what they did there

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#6

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SlenderSherbet Report

Tracy Moorhead
Community Member
1 year ago

Perhaps that's just what they want us to think!!

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For example, in 2018, weekday print newspaper circulation in the United States decreased by 12 percent, while Sunday circulation fell by 13 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.

What this means is that on Sundays, when most Americans have more free time, they’d rather do something else than buy a newspaper; like browse the internet.

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Kristi S.
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh, wow! That must 've been unexpected..

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#8

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
1 year ago

Well, that's amazing!

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Wow! Jesus has come back!

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And the situation is only getting worse for newspaper journalists and other staff members. Based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Employment Statistics, in 2018, 37,900 people worked in the newspaper industry as reporters, editors, photographers, film or video editors. That is 14 percent fewer employees than in 2015, and a whopping 47 percent less than in 2004.

Do you think that newspapers have a future, dear Readers? Would you like to see a Bored Panda newspaper? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

#10

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Tracy Moorhead
Community Member
1 year ago

Even if it's Fake News!

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#11

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Bambi
Community Member
1 year ago

Someone definitely lost their job for this..

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#12

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Tracy Moorhead
Community Member
1 year ago

That's why they're in charge of money and not literacy!

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#13

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IzzieM
Community Member
1 year ago

Bugs crawling around with feet are crawling bugs.

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#14

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

It was a tough day.

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#15

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

*slaps his leg*

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#16

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Aaron W
Community Member
1 year ago

Gotta pass the time while waiting for the other golfers to play their shots...

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#17

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Bad man. At least we know who to blame now.

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#18

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Aaron W
Community Member
1 year ago

Yeah it's easier with a bridge.

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#19

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Bambi
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh no!

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#20

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
1 year ago

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Not enough room for more s's.

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#21

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Kaisu
Community Member
1 year ago

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Why didn't the editor catch this even if the person writing it didn't notice??

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#22

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Dynein
Community Member
1 year ago

Oof.

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#23

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Cats vs zombies
Community Member
1 year ago

Yes they are. Especially ones with heaters.

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#24

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Nicola Roberts
Community Member
1 year ago

I didn't realise sexual orientation was listed on the application form?

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#25

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Restless
Community Member
1 year ago

naughty babies!

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#26

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Aaron W
Community Member
1 year ago

Penis envy actually explains a lot of the past three years.

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#27

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Sadie Shapiro
Community Member
1 year ago

Yeah, no kidding.

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#28

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Oh deer...

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#29

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Aaron W
Community Member
1 year ago

Just assume they would enjoy it...

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#30

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

Perhaps if you change your goggles, you'd find her?

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#31

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European other
Community Member
1 year ago

Yes we figured that out in New Zealand

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#32

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eliana
Community Member
1 year ago

winter is coming

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#33

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Kristof De Smet
Community Member
1 year ago

no thanks, I'll stick with the tea.

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#34

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Danish Dynomummy
Community Member
1 year ago

Im confused..

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#35

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Bunzilla
Community Member
1 year ago

Hmm, I may have a thought...

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#36

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Dilly Millandry
Community Member
1 year ago

Just needs some inverted commas for that 'miracle cure'

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#37

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Well, it can be quite rare in some countries.

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#38

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Laugh Fan
Community Member
1 year ago

Might have moobs.

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#39

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Alex Bailey
Community Member
1 year ago

Well, reading the text it sounds like they were all wasting time.

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#40

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Kaisu
Community Member
1 year ago

Would've never thought

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Note: this post originally had 102 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.