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There is hardly anything better than waking up at the crack of dawn and making some English breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, a bit of toast with marmalade, and a large mug of Earl Grey tea. And what better way to enjoy this feast than by eating it whilst you read the morning newspapers?

Unfortunately, some newspaper headlines can make us do a spit-take and drench the entire page in delicious tea (splash of milk, no sugar). You know the type of headlines that I mean: unintentionally amusing, very silly, and quite obvious how stupid they are if the overworked editors would look at them with a pair of fresh eyes.

Our team at Bored Panda has run, flown, and swum all over the planet looking for hilarious and idiotic newspaper articles, all for your amusement. So put your reading glasses on, scroll down, and upvote the headlines you enjoyed. We’d love to hear about any peculiar and giggle-worthy headlines that you’ve come across; even better if you’ve come up with them yourselves!

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A B C
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are 10 people in the world, ones that understand binary and those that don't ;)

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blugeagua
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not only is the headline awful but quite sexist too. There are just as many women who are good at math and love it.

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Karen Klinck
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One of them worked for NASA, and a lot of the early astronauts wouldn't get in the capsules without her work. (Literally; they insisted she check the orbital and fuel burn figures over the early computers.)

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Teresa Thomas
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to send this to the math teachers in my building - all 3 of whom are female!

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Side Walker
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hey, it could stand! If 4 out of 10 disliked math, but 3 of 10 disliked say history and another 2 disliked say biology and 1 disliked chemistry, that is still the majority!

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Kaisu
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think this is supposed to be intentional, since it's about people not liking math

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Lawrence Erdile
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is just the kind of stable genius thinking that is frequently exhibited in public

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Ari
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, luckily the "minority" of Americans (that is, 6 out of 10 then????) do like math then? God bless...

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Parmeisan
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't believe how few people are pointing out that there's nothing wrong with this. Sometimes "majority" is used to mean "over 50%", but it's also frequently used to mean the largest share, regardless of whether that share is over 50% or not. (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/majority - definition c) So if 40% hate math, 25% love math, and 35% are neutral, then math-haters are the majority group. We'd have to see the rest of the article to know whether or not it was a mistake.

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Um Why
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3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Source from your web link merriam webster and by no means is it ever shown that majority that be less or equal to 50 % of the data. Look below 1a : a number or percentage equaling more than half of a total a majority of voters a two-thirds majority b : the excess of a majority over the remainder of the total : MARGIN won by a majority of 10 votes c : the greater quantity or share the majority of the time 2a : the age at which full civil rights are accorded The age of majority in the U.S. is 18. b : the status of one who has attained this age graduated … before he had attained his majority — W. L. Burrage 3 : the group or political party having the greater number of votes (as in a legislature) 4 : the military office, rank, or commission of a major majorities and colonelcies were thick as June blackberries — Dixon Wecter 5 obsolete : the quality or state of being greater

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QueenoftheSquids
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does the article state that women are especially confused by math? Was this like two hundred years ago before Emmy Noether proved them wrong or what?

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tuzdayschild
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Come on people, math ain't that hard. Now English on the other hand...

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AspieGirl88
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m not great with maths either (except maybe the basics), but at least most people who hate it can still give their best attempts & get the work done … which is more than I’m capable of! LOL. 🤣

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Huzzir Zakaria
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It took me a long time and reading comments below to understand whats wrong (or is it weird?) with the headline. Guess I m part of that "majority" 😭

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Gail Douglas
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sincerely hope the research that led to this story wasn’t tax payer funded!

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BusLady
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was very good at math in school, and it was my favorite subject. But now I'm hopelessly pathetic.

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Lana Jig-maker
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol I find this one funny. Wait, did they only survey 10 people to begin with? Math is wrong, and the sample is too small. Lol

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Monika Soffronow
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The more math you know, the more logically you think and the clearer is your reason.

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Juan Tobar
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What if: 4/10 say "hate math", 3/10 say "dont care", 1/10 didnt answer, and 2/10 say "love math"?

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Lola DM
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Proof that teachers need to start acknowledging when their girl students are good at maths

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Bill
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4 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How do you come up with that statement from the above post?

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I adore newspapers, just like I love books, writing things in notebooks, watering my ficus tree, and sketching on real paper. They’re real things that don’t disappear once the power goes out, the internet goes down, or the moment a zombie outbreak starts (Max Brooks’ ‘The Zombie Survival Guide’ will be worth its weight in gold then and I keep it by my bed at all times). However, times are changing. More and more news and entertainment can be found in the digital world. Which means that the print media industry is slowly declining.

For example, in 2018, weekday print newspaper circulation in the United States decreased by 12 percent, while Sunday circulation fell by 13 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.

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What this means is that on Sundays, when most Americans have more free time, they’d rather do something else than buy a newspaper; like browse the internet.

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Alex Bailey
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It also says Exclusive to all newspapers and asks for contact from people who have seen her in Morocco. What trash-rag is this?

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And the situation is only getting worse for newspaper journalists and other staff members. Based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Employment Statistics, in 2018, 37,900 people worked in the newspaper industry as reporters, editors, photographers, film or video editors. That is 14 percent fewer employees than in 2015, and a whopping 47 percent less than in 2004.

Do you think that newspapers have a future, dear Readers? Would you like to see a Bored Panda newspaper? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

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Alex Bailey
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holding text that someone forgot to change. Often says Lorem Ipsum dolor...

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Aaron W
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gotta pass the time while waiting for the other golfers to play their shots...

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Dilly Millandry
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably laughing at how they look - some people pull some great faces when they're singing. Just look at people in cars at traffic lights singing away... look mad.

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Chris Watson
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one's actually not too bad, when you think of all the perils caused by earthquakes. The ground splitting open, fires from broken gas mains, tsunamis.....

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IzzieM
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This headline leaves nothing to the imagination. No one will read the article if you give everything away in the headline.

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Colm Corcoran
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now what essential information you are missing here is that the Metro Herald is an Irish newspaper, very few of us know what the sun looks like!!!

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Alex Bailey
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, reading the text it sounds like they were all wasting time.

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Note: this post originally had 102 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.

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