There is hardly anything better than waking up at the crack of dawn and making some English breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, a bit of toast with marmalade, and a large mug of Earl Grey tea. And what better way to enjoy this feast than by eating it whilst you read the morning newspapers?
Unfortunately, some newspaper headlines can make us do a spit-take and drench the entire page in delicious tea (splash of milk, no sugar). You know the type of headlines that I mean: unintentionally amusing, very silly, and quite obvious how stupid they are if the overworked editors would look at them with a pair of fresh eyes.
Our team at Bored Panda has run, flown, and swum all over the planet looking for hilarious and idiotic newspaper articles, all for your amusement. So put your reading glasses on, scroll down, and upvote the headlines you enjoyed. We’d love to hear about any peculiar and giggle-worthy headlines that you’ve come across; even better if you’ve come up with them yourselves!
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Well not all police unities have an alison Dubois or a Jess Mastriani in thir rank yet ;p
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Yes, this is exactly I was going to say. Let's talk about homicide victims that do talk.
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It’s not unheard of for the cops to arrive at the scene as the victim is dying, and manage to get some kind of statement about who attacked them and why right before they succumb to their injuries. It’s the only situation I can think of that fits—-not very common, but not unheard of.
People talk before they die, time between attack and death can be years with medical advances. Which was why they got rid of the "year and a day" rule between attack n and death.
It’s not unheard of for cops to arrive at the scene as the victim is dying, and get some sort of description of the perpetrator and motive for the crime right before they succumb to their injuries. It’s the only scenarios that would fit—-not very common, but not unheard of.
That is exactly what ran through my head!
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I think they’re trying to talk about the victims talking to the police before they’re killed?
Unless they use an ouija board or a psychic, I guess? I personally wouldn’t mess with that, though. 😅
What? Do they have people that can talk to ghosts in their department or something?
Our local paper in Niagara Falls, Canada just published this headline. Article #08: The Robert S.K. Welch Courthouse In Downtown St. Catharines. CRIME Homeless sex offender sentenced to house arrest The defendant was sentenced to 45 months behind bars in 2010 after being convicted of two sex offences involving children and ordered to comply with the national sex offender registry. Read More arrow
The real question is: why are police "talking" to them when they are dead?!
It is hard for them to open up (their caskets!) . . . (I'll leave quietly)
This is baffling to me. Just because they're dead doesn't mean they can't say something...
The should be charged with obstruction and failure to obey the police!
If you die After being taken to the hospital by succumbing to your injuries
I’d like to know about the homicide victims (not the “attempted homicide” victims, mind you, but the homicide victims) who talk to the police....
"Rarely"? "RARELY"???? I'm glad that I wasn't swallowing my coffee when I read that, or there'd be another "silent victim"...L!O!L!
This reminds of a reporter who said something about a dead man not being available for comment
That probably has something to do with the fact that they are a homicide victim.
You only found 40?!!.. Have a look at the sports pages of the Scottish newspapers since 14th Feb 2012. That was the day that, after cheating the taxman out of £90 million, Glasgow Rangers were liquidated. Since then, they have mysteriously risen from the dead, and in their 7th year of playing as a new club, they are aiming to win their 55th league title!
I adore newspapers, just like I love books, writing things in notebooks, watering my ficus tree, and sketching on real paper. They’re real things that don’t disappear once the power goes out, the internet goes down, or the moment a zombie outbreak starts (Max Brooks’ ‘The Zombie Survival Guide’ will be worth its weight in gold then and I keep it by my bed at all times). However, times are changing. More and more news and entertainment can be found in the digital world. Which means that the print media industry is slowly declining.
For example, in 2018, weekday print newspaper circulation in the United States decreased by 12 percent, while Sunday circulation fell by 13 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.
What this means is that on Sundays, when most Americans have more free time, they’d rather do something else than buy a newspaper; like browse the internet.
It also says Exclusive to all newspapers and asks for contact from people who have seen her in Morocco. What trash-rag is this?
And the situation is only getting worse for newspaper journalists and other staff members. Based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Employment Statistics, in 2018, 37,900 people worked in the newspaper industry as reporters, editors, photographers, film or video editors. That is 14 percent fewer employees than in 2015, and a whopping 47 percent less than in 2004.
Do you think that newspapers have a future, dear Readers? Would you like to see a Bored Panda newspaper? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!
Holding text that someone forgot to change. Often says Lorem Ipsum dolor...
On a separate note, that’s awesome! Means society is finally getting somewhere!
Probably laughing at how they look - some people pull some great faces when they're singing. Just look at people in cars at traffic lights singing away... look mad.
This one's actually not too bad, when you think of all the perils caused by earthquakes. The ground splitting open, fires from broken gas mains, tsunamis.....
Now what essential information you are missing here is that the Metro Herald is an Irish newspaper, very few of us know what the sun looks like!!!
Note: this post originally had 102 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
I am surprised there isn't many from the NT (northern territory) News. They are renowned for their funny headlines. A few examples are "why I stuck a cracker up my clacker", "Catnappers shaved my pussy", "trouser snake on a plane", "check out my flaps" and "game of phones" etc
Quite a few of these are actually good. Funny, Ironic or purposefully obtuse, but good.
These were a good laugh for sure! I'm so glad I'm from Utah and the news with Poison Control reminds us all 'Not to take poison'!
Most countries have socially accepted tradions of poisoning yourself. So a reminder is not that bad.
Load More Replies... Our local paper here in Niagara Falls, Canada just published a headline reading, "Homeless sex offender sentenced to house arrest"
Newspaper in Houston posted today ‘“Death was too good for him” says stepmother of slain 16-year-old teen in Humble’. Taken out of context it sounds like she’s an evil person, but the victim was her stepdaughter.
Sure, they're funny... But I read most of these years ago. Where have YOU been?
Great headlines! I saw one a few years ago in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle, it read: WOMAN HIT IN SNATCH
Can I get a job with one of these, actually proofreading instead of just collecting the salary?
Once, while crossing the midwest, my husband and I spotted a newspaper with this headline: "Today's Weather. Is It Out Of Control?" I so wish we'd bought a copy!
A quick note to inform the general public that era of HEPATITIS has come to an end. Dr. Iyabiye has the cure, it is available and I am a testimony to it. I lived with the disease for years until December last year when I met someone who was treated and cure by the doctor, she gave me his contact and I did tried him and his medication worked for me. Contact him now for help through; iyabiyehealinghome@gmail.com phone +234-815-857-7300
I am surprised there isn't many from the NT (northern territory) News. They are renowned for their funny headlines. A few examples are "why I stuck a cracker up my clacker", "Catnappers shaved my pussy", "trouser snake on a plane", "check out my flaps" and "game of phones" etc
Quite a few of these are actually good. Funny, Ironic or purposefully obtuse, but good.
These were a good laugh for sure! I'm so glad I'm from Utah and the news with Poison Control reminds us all 'Not to take poison'!
Most countries have socially accepted tradions of poisoning yourself. So a reminder is not that bad.
Load More Replies... Our local paper here in Niagara Falls, Canada just published a headline reading, "Homeless sex offender sentenced to house arrest"
Newspaper in Houston posted today ‘“Death was too good for him” says stepmother of slain 16-year-old teen in Humble’. Taken out of context it sounds like she’s an evil person, but the victim was her stepdaughter.
Sure, they're funny... But I read most of these years ago. Where have YOU been?
Great headlines! I saw one a few years ago in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle, it read: WOMAN HIT IN SNATCH
Can I get a job with one of these, actually proofreading instead of just collecting the salary?
Once, while crossing the midwest, my husband and I spotted a newspaper with this headline: "Today's Weather. Is It Out Of Control?" I so wish we'd bought a copy!
A quick note to inform the general public that era of HEPATITIS has come to an end. Dr. Iyabiye has the cure, it is available and I am a testimony to it. I lived with the disease for years until December last year when I met someone who was treated and cure by the doctor, she gave me his contact and I did tried him and his medication worked for me. Contact him now for help through; iyabiyehealinghome@gmail.com phone +234-815-857-7300
