There is hardly anything better than waking up at the crack of dawn and making some English breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, a bit of toast with marmalade, and a large mug of Earl Grey tea. And what better way to enjoy this feast than by eating it whilst you read the morning newspapers?
Unfortunately, some newspaper headlines can make us do a spit-take and drench the entire page in delicious tea (splash of milk, no sugar). You know the type of headlines that I mean: unintentionally amusing, very silly, and quite obvious how stupid they are if the overworked editors would look at them with a pair of fresh eyes.
Our team at Bored Panda has run, flown, and swum all over the planet looking for hilarious and idiotic newspaper articles, all for your amusement. So put your reading glasses on, scroll down, and upvote the headlines you enjoyed. We’d love to hear about any peculiar and giggle-worthy headlines that you’ve come across; even better if you’ve come up with them yourselves!
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I adore newspapers, just like I love books, writing things in notebooks, watering my ficus tree, and sketching on real paper. They’re real things that don’t disappear once the power goes out, the internet goes down, or the moment a zombie outbreak starts (Max Brooks’ ‘The Zombie Survival Guide’ will be worth its weight in gold then and I keep it by my bed at all times). However, times are changing. More and more news and entertainment can be found in the digital world. Which means that the print media industry is slowly declining.
For example, in 2018, weekday print newspaper circulation in the United States decreased by 12 percent, while Sunday circulation fell by 13 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.
What this means is that on Sundays, when most Americans have more free time, they’d rather do something else than buy a newspaper; like browse the internet.
It also says Exclusive to all newspapers and asks for contact from people who have seen her in Morocco. What trash-rag is this?
And the situation is only getting worse for newspaper journalists and other staff members. Based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Employment Statistics, in 2018, 37,900 people worked in the newspaper industry as reporters, editors, photographers, film or video editors. That is 14 percent fewer employees than in 2015, and a whopping 47 percent less than in 2004.
Do you think that newspapers have a future, dear Readers? Would you like to see a Bored Panda newspaper? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!
Holding text that someone forgot to change. Often says Lorem Ipsum dolor...
Yes, and on a follow up, what does “Loren Ipsum Dolor” even mean?
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This is why my newspaper syndicate never used placeholder text - we just left appropriate-sized blanks if we couldn't think of a headline. In the years I was with them, we had maybe a handful of papers hit stands with blanks where headlines or photo captions should have been, and nobody called to complain.
Club Captain Elected if they're short on space. Somebody dropped the ball. Editor--or what passes for one--would be my guess.
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Not necessarily. It happens more often than you think, and people in the business know it's just a mistake.
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One of my copy desk bosses would say: "If you have to use placeholder text, just use X's. That way if people are going to take offense, they have to work at it." This was after a basketball player's headshot appeared over the placeholder caption "Mug Shot" and we got a few angry phone calls from people wanting to know if we were deliberately trying to create the impression he'd been arrested.
That's a bit lazy, don't you think. Now we have to come up with the headline ourselves!
I helped a friend write his resume and used extremely sarcastic language for his former job description as a place holder and updated it the next day... Unfortunately, he turned in the wrong version... Thankfully, it was a mock interview with his business certificate school. It was one heck of an awkward interview for him, and the whole class learned a valuable lesson from the experience. XD
Writer: What do you want the article title to be? Chief: Think of a headline, 56pt bold headline Write: Say no more!
At first I thought it was some kind of competition. You know, like "Think of a caption"
Oh, whenever I'm writing, I'll do something similar, I'll write WORD, bolded, italicized, and underlined. That way I usually don't miss it. But I have before XD.
How on earth did this get past the editor? Do proof readers not exist any more?
Hell, no. Try "She cantored through the park." I must say it certainly brought an interesting image!
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Hmm, I guess he's still thinking. In the meantime, he didn't want to hold up this breaking news.
It's on every one who handled that paper before it was okayed to go out. However, slip ups happen.
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When you share the document with your teacher without changing the title
On a separate note, that’s awesome! Means society is finally getting somewhere!
Probably laughing at how they look - some people pull some great faces when they're singing. Just look at people in cars at traffic lights singing away... look mad.
This one's actually not too bad, when you think of all the perils caused by earthquakes. The ground splitting open, fires from broken gas mains, tsunamis.....
Now what essential information you are missing here is that the Metro Herald is an Irish newspaper, very few of us know what the sun looks like!!!
Note: this post originally had 102 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
I am surprised there isn't many from the NT (northern territory) News. They are renowned for their funny headlines. A few examples are "why I stuck a cracker up my clacker", "Catnappers shaved my pussy", "trouser snake on a plane", "check out my flaps" and "game of phones" etc
Quite a few of these are actually good. Funny, Ironic or purposefully obtuse, but good.
These were a good laugh for sure! I'm so glad I'm from Utah and the news with Poison Control reminds us all 'Not to take poison'!
Most countries have socially accepted tradions of poisoning yourself. So a reminder is not that bad.
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Our local paper here in Niagara Falls, Canada just published a headline reading, "Homeless sex offender sentenced to house arrest"
Newspaper in Houston posted today ‘“Death was too good for him” says stepmother of slain 16-year-old teen in Humble’. Taken out of context it sounds like she’s an evil person, but the victim was her stepdaughter.
Sure, they're funny... But I read most of these years ago. Where have YOU been?
Great headlines! I saw one a few years ago in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle, it read: WOMAN HIT IN SNATCH
Can I get a job with one of these, actually proofreading instead of just collecting the salary?
Once, while crossing the midwest, my husband and I spotted a newspaper with this headline: "Today's Weather. Is It Out Of Control?" I so wish we'd bought a copy!
A quick note to inform the general public that era of HEPATITIS has come to an end. Dr. Iyabiye has the cure, it is available and I am a testimony to it. I lived with the disease for years until December last year when I met someone who was treated and cure by the doctor, she gave me his contact and I did tried him and his medication worked for me. Contact him now for help through; iyabiyehealinghome@gmail.com phone +234-815-857-7300
I am surprised there isn't many from the NT (northern territory) News. They are renowned for their funny headlines. A few examples are "why I stuck a cracker up my clacker", "Catnappers shaved my pussy", "trouser snake on a plane", "check out my flaps" and "game of phones" etc
Quite a few of these are actually good. Funny, Ironic or purposefully obtuse, but good.
These were a good laugh for sure! I'm so glad I'm from Utah and the news with Poison Control reminds us all 'Not to take poison'!
Most countries have socially accepted tradions of poisoning yourself. So a reminder is not that bad.
Load More Replies... Our local paper here in Niagara Falls, Canada just published a headline reading, "Homeless sex offender sentenced to house arrest"
Newspaper in Houston posted today ‘“Death was too good for him” says stepmother of slain 16-year-old teen in Humble’. Taken out of context it sounds like she’s an evil person, but the victim was her stepdaughter.
Sure, they're funny... But I read most of these years ago. Where have YOU been?
Great headlines! I saw one a few years ago in the Newcastle Evening Chronicle, it read: WOMAN HIT IN SNATCH
Can I get a job with one of these, actually proofreading instead of just collecting the salary?
Once, while crossing the midwest, my husband and I spotted a newspaper with this headline: "Today's Weather. Is It Out Of Control?" I so wish we'd bought a copy!
A quick note to inform the general public that era of HEPATITIS has come to an end. Dr. Iyabiye has the cure, it is available and I am a testimony to it. I lived with the disease for years until December last year when I met someone who was treated and cure by the doctor, she gave me his contact and I did tried him and his medication worked for me. Contact him now for help through; iyabiyehealinghome@gmail.com phone +234-815-857-7300
