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There is hardly anything better than waking up at the crack of dawn and making some English breakfast: scrambled eggs, bacon, fried tomatoes and mushrooms, a bit of toast with marmalade, and a large mug of Earl Grey tea. And what better way to enjoy this feast than by eating it whilst you read the morning newspapers?

Unfortunately, some newspaper headlines can make us do a spit-take and drench the entire page in delicious tea (splash of milk, no sugar). You know the type of headlines that I mean: unintentionally amusing, very silly, and quite obvious how stupid they are if the overworked editors would look at them with a pair of fresh eyes.

Our team at Bored Panda has run, flown, and swum all over the planet looking for hilarious and idiotic newspaper articles, all for your amusement. So put your reading glasses on, scroll down, and upvote the headlines you enjoyed. We’d love to hear about any peculiar and giggle-worthy headlines that you’ve come across; even better if you’ve come up with them yourselves!

I adore newspapers, just like I love books, writing things in notebooks, watering my ficus tree, and sketching on real paper. They’re real things that don’t disappear once the power goes out, the internet goes down, or the moment a zombie outbreak starts (Max Brooks’ ‘The Zombie Survival Guide’ will be worth its weight in gold then and I keep it by my bed at all times). However, times are changing. More and more news and entertainment can be found in the digital world. Which means that the print media industry is slowly declining.

For example, in 2018, weekday print newspaper circulation in the United States decreased by 12 percent, while Sunday circulation fell by 13 percent, according to the Pew Research Center.

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What this means is that on Sundays, when most Americans have more free time, they’d rather do something else than buy a newspaper; like browse the internet.

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Alex Bailey
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It also says Exclusive to all newspapers and asks for contact from people who have seen her in Morocco. What trash-rag is this?

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And the situation is only getting worse for newspaper journalists and other staff members. Based on the Bureau of Labor Statistics’ Occupational Employment Statistics, in 2018, 37,900 people worked in the newspaper industry as reporters, editors, photographers, film or video editors. That is 14 percent fewer employees than in 2015, and a whopping 47 percent less than in 2004.

Do you think that newspapers have a future, dear Readers? Would you like to see a Bored Panda newspaper? Share your thoughts with us in the comments!

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Alex Bailey
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Holding text that someone forgot to change. Often says Lorem Ipsum dolor...

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Aaron W
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gotta pass the time while waiting for the other golfers to play their shots...

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Dilly Millandry
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Probably laughing at how they look - some people pull some great faces when they're singing. Just look at people in cars at traffic lights singing away... look mad.

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Chris Watson
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This one's actually not too bad, when you think of all the perils caused by earthquakes. The ground splitting open, fires from broken gas mains, tsunamis.....

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IzzieM
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This headline leaves nothing to the imagination. No one will read the article if you give everything away in the headline.

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Martina Třešková
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But to be honest, after reading that headline, you’ll be like “wtf” and want to read the article...

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MoZ
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I need to see the movie adaptation of this! I'm thinking Tina Fey and Amy Poehler. Who's ready to sign the petition?

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Jasmine Walker
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well if the ex dresses up like a snack instead of a sumo wrestler, she might have gotten a wave back too. Haha

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Stevie B
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There is nothing really wrong with this one, but I really want some details.

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Ryo Bakura
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What's weirder is this happened on an average Tuesday. Nothing special going on at all.

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estimaate
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is the kind of representation we need in the media

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Myriam Ickx
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wonder what a female sumo wrestler suit looks like. The male version is rather scant, if I remember well. Does the woman just add a T-shirt?

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Karen Klinck
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is Not Allowed. There are no female sumo wrestlers. There may be some woman who wrestle sumo--thou I haven't heard of any--but they would be strictly amateur, for fun and Not Noticed. This was a woman in a blow-up male sumo costume.

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Ari
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what I call: a simple and short headliner...

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Jane W.
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I mean, give the girl a break----a SNICKERS bar! Who could resist?

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Clinton Yew
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would like to know does she change back to a pretty lady after having that snickers bar.

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June Clavelle
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I seriously couldn't stop laughing after I read this...seriously try to picture this situation happening in front of you

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BusLady
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Can't say as I blame the ex. I would rather have a Snickers over a Sumo wrestler.

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OTTER
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh this is that new Stupid Press with Stupid Stories for Stupid People. Haven’t read it.

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blugeagua
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

No point in getting mad since everyone was at a GAY pub and most likely that would make the man gay as well, just like the women are. So no point in being jealous if that was her reason for assaulting her. And why get mad over simply waving? Friends wave at each other hi all the time. (Although no matter the reason assaulting anyone is obviously wrong).

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Colm Corcoran
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Now what essential information you are missing here is that the Metro Herald is an Irish newspaper, very few of us know what the sun looks like!!!

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Alex Bailey
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4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, reading the text it sounds like they were all wasting time.

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Note: this post originally had 102 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.

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