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Women Hate That Their Kids Now Have To Pay For Their Ice-Cold Behavior Towards Their Stepmom
From time to time, we hear stories about children feeling that either they or their sibling is being favored by their parent or grandparent. Usually, these stories come with their expression of hurt, disappointment, and often without a proper reason from the (grand)parents’ end.
Yet, today we’re serving you a story from another point of view – the one of the grandmother explaining why she favors some of her grandchildren. The most interesting thing is that her explanation kind of makes us take her side, which is rare in favoritism stories.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Sadly, parental or grandparental favoritism is way more common than it should be
Image credits: prostooleh / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This story is another one about it, but with a twist – this time it’s a grandmother explaining why she plays favorites
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
This woman married a man with kids from previous marriage, but the oldest of them kept constantly mistreating and ignoring her
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When they left home, they went no contact for years, until they needed money and decided to reconnect
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When the entitled stepdaughters had the kids of their own, the author started clearly favoring the stepson’s kids, since he wasn’t as nasty to her
Image credits: Aggressive-Rhubarb56
This angered the two stepdaughters, who used to mistreat the post’s author and they started a campaign with extended family to call her behavior out
The OP has stepchildren from her husband’s previous marriage. All of them are adults – one is in his late 20s, while the other two are in their late 30s. The older ones are stepdaughters, who never acknowledged the original poster in any way. Or sometimes even worse – they painted her as a “pick me girl”, who tried to replace their mom.
After the girls left home, they went no contact with their stepmom and low contact with their dad. Then, they came back to his life when they needed money for the wedding and a house, which made the author feel like they were just using him. Thus, the OP chose not to reunite with them – they used to ignore her, so any efforts to reconnect just didn’t seem genuine.
The thing is that the same stepdaughter started wanting their stepmom in their life when their younger brother, who wasn’t as cold to their stepmom as they were, had kids. Now the women wanted their kids to get involved with step-grandma, too.
Yet, the original poster wasn’t having it – she showed clear favoritism towards her stepson’s kids. This made the women spiral, starting a campaign against it, but that didn’t really bug the OP, no matter how hard the stepdaughters tried to change her mind.
Image credits: Freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
After all, it isn’t like the author completely ignores these kids – she spends time with them when they’re together with other grandkids. She never reaches out for additional contact besides that.
On one hand, we can understand where the moms are coming from – kids who understand that they aren’t favored by their grandparents tend to suffer. Especially if they often see the other child, whether it’s their sibling or cousin, being favored instead. They might feel hurt and insecure. These feelings can strain not only their relationship with said grandparent, but with the sibling or cousin that’s been favored, too.
Not to mention how harmful it can be for them personally over time. When it comes to parental favoritism, this detriment even has a name, “parental differential treatment” (PDT), as it is considered an important factor in a range of emotional problems. So, it wouldn’t be surprising if something like that would exist in relation to grandparent favoritism – often these people tend to be important role models for the kids.
At the same time, at least in the eyes of netizens, the grandmother from this story had a relatively good reason to show favoritism. The extended family seems pretty difficult to deal with, starting with the entitled behavior during girls’ childhood, to the hate campaigns right now. So, if favoritism is the only way she feels she can get back to them, let it be!
Do you agree with such an opinion? Maybe your stance on the whole situation differs? Please, share it in the comments.
Netizens thought that the woman playing favorites wasn’t that off-putting in this case, as there was a good reason for her to act this way
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What do you think ?
Mel in Georgia 1 month ago
I really like the response one commenter gave. "I'm respecting the boundaries they've set." That's all that needs to be said!
Kate Johnson 1 month ago (edited)
I’d send a note, “From the outset, you’ve made your boundaries very clear, I am no one to you but your father’s wife. I’m to have no part of your lives. You’ve excluded me entirely and I’ve tried to be gracious and understanding and honor your wishes. You’ve made no effort to change any of those boundaries, so I’m very confused by your sudden issue with how I treat your children. Your children, as you’ve made very clear, are NOT my grandchildren. I am nothing to them but their grandfather’s wife. Why then would you expect that they would be considered the same as my actual grandchildren by me? You seem to think you can have it both ways, and that’s not a reasonable expectation. I will continue my very close relationships with my actual children and grandchildren, who want me in their lives, regardless of your bizarre jealousy, and continue to treat your children with kindness when they are present, as I have always done. Perhaps you should explain your position to your children and your ongoing animosity toward me despite my respecting your very firm boundaries. I for one do not understand it and cannot explain it." Then send a copy of that note to all the interfering family members.
Angela Corvaia 3 days ago
I feel that sending any communication beyond the decades long ‘silent and accept rejection’ will backfire and be seen as ‘trying to hard’ or being manipulative. Besides, they might lie, exaggerate or twist her words against her. They have no history of any other behavior.
Load More Replies...
sweet emotion 1 month ago
There is a very simple response to the extended family members who are involving themselves in this family's lives - "This is not your circus, go worry about your own monkeys."
Jacquie Carr 1 month ago
Good for her; it infuriates people when you truly don't care about their drama
Sara Shamsabadi 1 month ago
maybe they feel a lot of shame for how they treated her when they were younger...it is possible, but oftentimes when someone knows they were more in the wrong, they act indignant out of embarrasment. They should sit down with the grandma & the adult kids & talk to come to a peaceful truce & renewed relationships. Unless they want this drama to continue with the grandkids. At some point adults have to put an end to old family drama no?
patricia patricia 2 weeks ago
Renewed relationship? OP didn't create the drama. Why should she make the slightest effort to end it? Anyway, you can't renew what never existed. Stepdaughters made it very clear OP was not part of the family. Their drama, hurt feelings, embarrassment or whatever they feel is not OP's problem.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Unbothered people don't write long Reddit threads, so not terribly honest about that. But lots of grandparents have a relationship with that grandkids based on their relationship with the parents, and this relationship tone was set by those parents.
megabeth 1 month ago
I mean of course she's bothered. I think she trying to say she's not trying to let it get to her. Most people want calm and some semblance of unity within their family. I don't believe that counts as dishonest.
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 1 month ago
I really like the response one commenter gave. "I'm respecting the boundaries they've set." That's all that needs to be said!
Kate Johnson 1 month ago (edited)
I’d send a note, “From the outset, you’ve made your boundaries very clear, I am no one to you but your father’s wife. I’m to have no part of your lives. You’ve excluded me entirely and I’ve tried to be gracious and understanding and honor your wishes. You’ve made no effort to change any of those boundaries, so I’m very confused by your sudden issue with how I treat your children. Your children, as you’ve made very clear, are NOT my grandchildren. I am nothing to them but their grandfather’s wife. Why then would you expect that they would be considered the same as my actual grandchildren by me? You seem to think you can have it both ways, and that’s not a reasonable expectation. I will continue my very close relationships with my actual children and grandchildren, who want me in their lives, regardless of your bizarre jealousy, and continue to treat your children with kindness when they are present, as I have always done. Perhaps you should explain your position to your children and your ongoing animosity toward me despite my respecting your very firm boundaries. I for one do not understand it and cannot explain it." Then send a copy of that note to all the interfering family members.
Angela Corvaia 3 days ago
I feel that sending any communication beyond the decades long ‘silent and accept rejection’ will backfire and be seen as ‘trying to hard’ or being manipulative. Besides, they might lie, exaggerate or twist her words against her. They have no history of any other behavior.
Load More Replies... sweet emotion 1 month ago
There is a very simple response to the extended family members who are involving themselves in this family's lives - "This is not your circus, go worry about your own monkeys."
Jacquie Carr 1 month ago
Good for her; it infuriates people when you truly don't care about their drama
Sara Shamsabadi 1 month ago
maybe they feel a lot of shame for how they treated her when they were younger...it is possible, but oftentimes when someone knows they were more in the wrong, they act indignant out of embarrasment. They should sit down with the grandma & the adult kids & talk to come to a peaceful truce & renewed relationships. Unless they want this drama to continue with the grandkids. At some point adults have to put an end to old family drama no?
patricia patricia 2 weeks ago
Renewed relationship? OP didn't create the drama. Why should she make the slightest effort to end it? Anyway, you can't renew what never existed. Stepdaughters made it very clear OP was not part of the family. Their drama, hurt feelings, embarrassment or whatever they feel is not OP's problem.
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 1 month ago
Unbothered people don't write long Reddit threads, so not terribly honest about that. But lots of grandparents have a relationship with that grandkids based on their relationship with the parents, and this relationship tone was set by those parents.
megabeth 1 month ago
I mean of course she's bothered. I think she trying to say she's not trying to let it get to her. Most people want calm and some semblance of unity within their family. I don't believe that counts as dishonest.
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