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Woman With Kids Jumps At A Chance To Stay At Friend’s House, Is Shocked Seeing How Dirty It Is
Woman With Kids Jumps At A Chance To Stay At Friend’s House, Is Shocked Seeing How Dirty It Is
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Woman With Kids Jumps At A Chance To Stay At Friend’s House, Is Shocked Seeing How Dirty It Is

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Having a messy house can be kind of cute and endearing. A lived-in place can make a house truly feel like a home as compared to a very sanitized and super clean space. But, as with everything, there are extremes to messiness that aren’t so cute. An extremely messy house is not fun to visit at all.

A woman found this out the hard way when she agreed to stay at an old friend’s place. The sights and smells that greeted her made her regret her decision, and she could not wait to escape from the house.

More info: Mumsnet

RELATED:

    Woman is met with shocking levels of messiness when she turns up at her friend’s home, says it’s enough to make her cry

    Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual photo)

    A lady and her kids were taking a trip across the country when an old friend reached out and asked her to stay at her home to break up the journey

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    Image credits: Eco Bear Biohazard Cleaning Company (not the actual photo)

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    The woman was excited to connect with her friend and have their kids hang out, but when she got to the house, she was shocked by how messy it was

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    Image credits: Wellthisiss**tty

    There was mold on the food, horrid smells, everything was food-encrusted, and too many things were on the floor, which made her feel like she couldn’t stay there

    The woman was shocked by the state in which she found her friend’s home. She mentioned that the smells were terrible, and there was cat poop overflowing from the litterbox. Most of the furniture and some items were covered with food. Even the food had mold, which made her sure she didn’t want to risk eating anything. She planned to take her kids out to eat instead, and she told commenters, “they were always a little bit untidy but nothing like this.”

    Some research shows that messiness could be related to personality traits. People who aren’t bothered by untidy rooms may not make much of an effort to clean up. This often stems from childhood behaviors, but sometimes, it can also be related to mental health. This is why Bored Panda reached out to Arya Prasad, a counseling psychologist and an arts-based therapy practitioner. She works with a variety of concerns, including anxiety, stress, adjustment, and relational issues, and uses trauma-informed therapy and art-based therapy practices.

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    Arya mentioned that “hoarding or inability to keep one’s home clean could be a sign of a few mental health conditions. It could show up as a symptom of depression, where there may be a lack of energy and motivation to keep one’s surroundings clean. Or anxiety, where individuals may fear that they may [be required] to store objects in the present to use them in the future, among other diagnoses. People experiencing complex grief may be unable to let the objects of their past go, which could lead to a lot of accumulation in their spaces.”

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    Depression is a strong contributing factor to messiness. People who struggle with this disorder may find it tough to concentrate and commit to tasks, and they may also feel fatigued easily, all of which can make it hard to keep their spaces clean. Since the poster did not know the reason behind her friend’s untidyness, people online urged her to talk to the other woman gently. They were worried that the couple’s children might be exposed to many health hazards while staying in the house. 

    Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)

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    Mental health conditions could bring about messiness, and it also works the other way around. Studies have shown that women who viewed their homes as cluttered had higher levels of the stress hormone cortisol throughout the day than women who described their homes as well-organized. A chronically untidy home can also impact one’s social life and relationships by discouraging guests from visiting.

    Just like the poster was afraid to stay at her friend’s house, other people may not like going to very messy homes. Some netizens told the woman to escape from the house by saying she had a cat allergy. She laughingly responded that she would “if only I didn’t have two cats of my own!”

    In this case, the poster probably didn’t feel like confronting her friend about her messy behavior, but discussing this issue with loved ones can be helpful. Especially if a person struggles with cleanliness due to poor mental health, they might need support. Arya shared a few tips people could use if they felt their friend or family member’s messiness was due to mental health struggles. She said:

    • “Talk to your friend gently and kindly about your concerns. Mention that not having clean spaces could affect one’s life negatively. 
    • Offer to help clean their place and create systems in the house so that basic cleanliness may be followed. This could look like having specific areas where things like groceries, utensils, clothes, and laundry could go. 
    • Ask them if they’d like to approach a mental health professional with their concerns. There could be other things that may be a concern for them, apart from cleaning, which should be addressed for improved wellbeing.”

    When it comes to people’s homes and personal habits, it can be extremely tough to bring up the subject of untidiness. Some people shy away from the topic, like the poster who decided to book a place to stay for the night rather than camp out at her friend’s place. Maybe she could broach the subject later. What would you have done if you were in her place? Let us know in the comments if you’ve ever encountered someone so messy or if you’ve ever been that person.

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    Concerned netizens told the poster to call social services because they feared for the safety of the woman’s kids due to such hazardous living conditions

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    Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)

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    Poll Question

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    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    Read less »
    Beverly Noronha

    Beverly Noronha

    Writer, BoredPanda staff

    You can call me Bev! I'm a world-class reader, a quirky writer, and a gardener who paints. If you’re looking for information about tattoos, Bulbasaur, and books, then I'm the NPC you must approach.

    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    Read more »

    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

    Read less »

    Denis Krotovas

    Denis Krotovas

    Author, BoredPanda staff

    I am a Visual Editor at Bored Panda. While studying at Vilnius Tech University, I learned how to use Photoshop and decided to continue mastering it at Bored Panda. I am interested in learning UI/UX design and creating unique designs for apps, games and websites. On my spare time, I enjoy playing video and board games, watching TV shows and movies and reading funny posts on the internet.

    What do you think ?
    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This has to be some sort of a cry for help? I mean, she MUST know that this is no way to live, so why invite guests to stay over? It's like she wants someone to see and do something?

    Beverly Noronha
    BoredPanda Staff
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah that could be a possibility. The weird part is OP mentioned that her friend and her husband are both doctors so it's even weirder that their house was in that state.

    Load More Replies...
    Seanette Blaylock
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There needs to be a call to CPS for the sake of the kids who live in that nightmare.

    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been to houses like this. The people living in that state really are blind and so used to the conditions and smells they just don't smell it anymore. Like, I used to have cats. Cleaned their litter everyday. Sometimes more. Kept my house tidied, perhaps some dishes in the sink, but it was clean. I had a friend come over and she told me she could smell the litter box from across the house. I didn't smell anything. We don't have the cats anymore, and I've since moved into an apartment. There's been times I've been away for a week or more. I come back home and smell the wood, paint, bleach and refrigerant. You know, that new apartment smell? Nonetheless, I would hightail it out of there. There is no need to be polite about it. Some people really do need a wake up call, and this "friend" definitely needs it.

    Kate Jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can be messy but if I know company is coming over, I clean like a crazy person. You don't inflict that on other people. And you can't be shy about saying you won't stay. You could get lice or a bacterial infection from sleeping on those sheets. Or there could be mice and insects. And absolutely DO NOT eat there. Whether you want to get into the task of helping her...that's up to you. But you can't stay there out of some kind of good manners. She certainly didn't have any, prepping for your visit. And honestly...maybe it's a hundred times worse and this WAS her cleaning up. So don't feel bad and get the heck out of there.

    AnnaB
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm getting itchy just reading this.

    Aballi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best friends parents are hoarders. Their house was insane: like a literal garbage dump. Hoarding is a mental illness and it sounds like she needs help, especially with kids in the house. My friend still has PTSD in her 30s from growing up with hoarders.

    Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Regardless of the reason behind the conditions of the house, the children need to get out like yesterday.

    Joanne Earle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My stepson, his g/f and their 2 kids live like this. It's disgusting. We are estranged from them now, but we used to visit 3x a year and the place just got more and more filthy. It's not just the kids' toys....we understand that. But the bathroom and kitchen are so gross I would get the dry heaves if I looked directly at anything. Piles of laundry everywhere so she didn't know what was clean and what wasn't. They keep getting small animals like guinea pigs, frogs and a bird....they had an ant farm too. I miss the grandsons but not that disgusting squalor or their using, backstabbing, disloyal, unappreciative parents. They've failed their Section 8 inspection a few times too cause they only time they attempt to clean is right before the inspex. I tried to be the g/f's cheerleader and encourage her but she'd rather sit on her butt on her phone all day long. Kids are in school now but she refuses to get a job or clean or do anything.

    justagirl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They let those people have CATS? And CHILDREN?

    Hannah Taylor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've lived in places like this. The owners saw nothing wrong with a messy kitchen, a messier bathroom, and magazines wall-to-wall. One place I lived, when I moved out, I didn't think it could get worse. When I went to housesit for them, I saw how wrong I was. I had to spend over two hours cleaning the bathroom, just so I could use the toilet and wash my hands (I showered at home). I nearly pulled an all-nighter to clean up the kitchen, because the grocery bags were a trip hazard, the stove was a mess, and the sink area was unusable. Had I known in advance the state of that house, I would have never agreed to housesit. That was nearly 15 years ago, and I'm still shaking my head over it.

    Load More Comments
    Trillian
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This has to be some sort of a cry for help? I mean, she MUST know that this is no way to live, so why invite guests to stay over? It's like she wants someone to see and do something?

    Beverly Noronha
    BoredPanda Staff
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah that could be a possibility. The weird part is OP mentioned that her friend and her husband are both doctors so it's even weirder that their house was in that state.

    Load More Replies...
    Seanette Blaylock
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There needs to be a call to CPS for the sake of the kids who live in that nightmare.

    StrangeOne
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've been to houses like this. The people living in that state really are blind and so used to the conditions and smells they just don't smell it anymore. Like, I used to have cats. Cleaned their litter everyday. Sometimes more. Kept my house tidied, perhaps some dishes in the sink, but it was clean. I had a friend come over and she told me she could smell the litter box from across the house. I didn't smell anything. We don't have the cats anymore, and I've since moved into an apartment. There's been times I've been away for a week or more. I come back home and smell the wood, paint, bleach and refrigerant. You know, that new apartment smell? Nonetheless, I would hightail it out of there. There is no need to be polite about it. Some people really do need a wake up call, and this "friend" definitely needs it.

    Kate Jones
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can be messy but if I know company is coming over, I clean like a crazy person. You don't inflict that on other people. And you can't be shy about saying you won't stay. You could get lice or a bacterial infection from sleeping on those sheets. Or there could be mice and insects. And absolutely DO NOT eat there. Whether you want to get into the task of helping her...that's up to you. But you can't stay there out of some kind of good manners. She certainly didn't have any, prepping for your visit. And honestly...maybe it's a hundred times worse and this WAS her cleaning up. So don't feel bad and get the heck out of there.

    AnnaB
    Community Member
    Premium
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm getting itchy just reading this.

    Aballi
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My best friends parents are hoarders. Their house was insane: like a literal garbage dump. Hoarding is a mental illness and it sounds like she needs help, especially with kids in the house. My friend still has PTSD in her 30s from growing up with hoarders.

    Rabbit Of ill Portent(she/her)
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Regardless of the reason behind the conditions of the house, the children need to get out like yesterday.

    Joanne Earle
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My stepson, his g/f and their 2 kids live like this. It's disgusting. We are estranged from them now, but we used to visit 3x a year and the place just got more and more filthy. It's not just the kids' toys....we understand that. But the bathroom and kitchen are so gross I would get the dry heaves if I looked directly at anything. Piles of laundry everywhere so she didn't know what was clean and what wasn't. They keep getting small animals like guinea pigs, frogs and a bird....they had an ant farm too. I miss the grandsons but not that disgusting squalor or their using, backstabbing, disloyal, unappreciative parents. They've failed their Section 8 inspection a few times too cause they only time they attempt to clean is right before the inspex. I tried to be the g/f's cheerleader and encourage her but she'd rather sit on her butt on her phone all day long. Kids are in school now but she refuses to get a job or clean or do anything.

    justagirl
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They let those people have CATS? And CHILDREN?

    Hannah Taylor
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've lived in places like this. The owners saw nothing wrong with a messy kitchen, a messier bathroom, and magazines wall-to-wall. One place I lived, when I moved out, I didn't think it could get worse. When I went to housesit for them, I saw how wrong I was. I had to spend over two hours cleaning the bathroom, just so I could use the toilet and wash my hands (I showered at home). I nearly pulled an all-nighter to clean up the kitchen, because the grocery bags were a trip hazard, the stove was a mess, and the sink area was unusable. Had I known in advance the state of that house, I would have never agreed to housesit. That was nearly 15 years ago, and I'm still shaking my head over it.

    Load More Comments
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