The Way This Teacher Outsmarted This ‘PhD Mom’ Who Helped Her 1st Grade Son Cheat Is Going Viral
As parents, all we want in life is to see our kids flourish and be happy. However, as a high achiever yourself, you might project greater expectations on to your offspring, expectations that they may not be able to live up to.
Because who wants to live in the shadow of super successful parents? You not only have their expectations to deal with but other people’s too, plus, as they have already found the ‘key’ to living well, you can quickly find yourself boxed in to following their example and never truly be able to express yourself in your own unique way. (Facebook cover image: Graham Richardson)
Image credits: Fabrice Florin (not the actual photo)
Spare a thought for this poor boy, the son of two Ph.D.’s, one of them a mom who knows the education system inside out. Turns out, instead of being a boy genius, he has a learning disability and needs some extra care. Think that mom is accepting that? Hell no! Educated though she may be, she is unable to accept facts and has a serious case of living in denial. The story, told on the subreddit r/MaliciousCompliance, shows just how far some parents will go to manipulate reality to suit their own dangerous fantasies, as well as a little ingenuity from the teacher, who managed to bring the whole facade crashing down.
Scroll down below to check it out for yourself, and let us know what you think in the comments!
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This makes me wonder how many antivax parents would avoid tests designed to diagnose their child borderline on the Autistic Spectrum simply because it would prove them wrong.
I had a college classmate that asked me to observe the two kids she nannied in the afternoons. She knew I had an autistic son. Upon observing the two kids (brother and sister) I told her that I thought the 4 year old boy should be further tested as he showed all the signs of autism (flapping hands, gibberish talk, rocking, obsessing over toys, fear of being touched, lack of eye contact.) That's when she said she was afraid of saying anything to the parents because if she ever told them the kids had a problem, they'd shut her down and explain how perfect their kids were. She was afraid if she pushed it, she'd lose her job. I think there needs to be laws in this country that when a learning disability is suspected, the child can be tested without parent permission and that denying the school the ability to test is tantamount to child neglect.
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Proof that knowledge and intelligence is something you earn, not genetics. This mother was also displaying her ignorance when she was insulting the teacher and principal. If she were so smart, she should know better, she would have tried to negotiate, or something like that. But maybe her perception of being smart is how much one can memorize, rather than actual understanding, cognition and creativity (not only in an artistic sense, of course). Which kinda seems to be the case here. And that's the root of the problem here.
Genetics does play a very major part but environmental factors are massively important as well. Genome-wide polygenic scores (GPS) look at the influence of the many, many different genes involved in various factors that make up intelligence eg spatial sense, vocabulary, cognitive skills and imagination. GPS can be used as a predictor of intelligence but it's a long way off being reliable but will always be about probabilities.
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When it comes to their own children many people are simply blind and see them only through rose colored glasses
Oh if I had a penny for every time my students handed in their parents’ work instead of their own. Just a couple of words of advice to those parents - we know! We get to know your children from the first day they walk into our classroom. Stop doing a disservice to your children, and get them the help they desperately need.
Heck, in my daughter's kindergarten class, there were parents who made the hand turkey instead of their kid. How desperate do you have to be?
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Many years ago we had a meeting with our daughter's first grade teacher, where she explained that she felt that our daughter would benefit from retaking first grade again. We listened, we asked questions , and in the end decided that being a teacher, and spending every day with our daughter, she had a far better idea of what our daughter needed, as far as education. The look on that teachers face when we agreed with her...I will never forget it. I remember her saying "Wow. I was prepared for a fight!". I now have a High School student that is flourishing in Honors classes. WHY any parent would put their own ego in front of their child is deplorable . Bravo to this teacher!
With me it's the exact opposite. Every last specialist says that I'm fine. My mother is hellbent on me being autistic. I'm half contemplating asking to be officially tested to stick it under her nose. Maybe she'll lay off of me then. And well, if I *am* autistic, then maybe something can be done about it.
In a previous job I worked with people from underpriveliged backgrounds and lifestyles. They were mostly desperate to get their unruly children diagnosed with ADHD. They did not want to accept that the child's dreadful behaviour, poor social skills, and being developmentally way behind their peers was due to bad/non-existant parenting. That and the drugs given for such kids were worth money on the local drug-scene. Felt so sorry for those children and the start they were getting in life.
Load More Replies... What I don't understand is how none of these people knew that learning disabilities have nothing todo with how intelligent a person is. And going to "special ed" (which the schools my kids went to we're called resource rooms) to learn how to deal with
I like to think I’m doing well in school. Except for my math, at least. But everyone has their strengths. Everyone learns differently as well. I was recently switched from a teacher (who retired and caused this switch) who went step-by-step, requiring students to go along, to one who just writes on the board. My grades are dropping. (She’s not that good of a teacher anyways. Every kid’s grade in math is dropping if they’ve been thrown into her room). I’m easily confused. Some aren’t. My strength is not math. I’m not good at paying attention. Luckily, my family acknowledges that, and it’s a big stress reliever. My friends whose parents aren’t so understanding are under much more strain.
When teachers aren't good and their students grades are dropping you'd think that the school would notice and want to do something. I hope that some solution is found for you - at least you know your strengths and have the support of your parents.
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Personally, I'd like to say I have mixed feelings about being diagnosed. I got diagnosed with autism at 18, and I'm not sure if the experience would have been better earlier or just the same. I'd hoped that a diagnosis would get people to try to understand me better, but just as many of them believe they already understand me because of the diagnosis, which isn't necessarily true. Sometimes I can't tell where the diagnosis starts and the me ends. Think carefully before you try to get your child diagnosed, consider the person they are and the person you're willing to become for them. Most of all remember balance and that they are an individual.
So sad. This mother is making her son's abilities all about her instead of paying attention to his needs.
My fiance is a high school math teacher. She struggles with the non-existent parents, the helicopter parents who question everything and this type of parent that she calls "lawnmower parents".
Lots of smart people have some trouble learning very early on, in those beginning elementary levels students are learning how to learn. It's hard stuff. That doesn't mean that student cannot ever be smart or accomplished, it just means they need to work a little harder at it. No big deal. Until a parent gets offended. Ugh, no one is being helped by these situations.
The first thing that came to mind was foreshadowing -could Trump's parents have reacted the same way?
For that mother, a kid is a status symbol, and a way to show all her friends and neighbors that she is a Martyr Who Gave Up Her Career For Her Child And As A Result, Has The Perfect Child. It was less that the kid had a learning disability as much as it was r=tha others would know that her child wasn't perfect. After all, the mother knew that her kid wasn't actually learning the material, but all she cared about was A. her kid getting good test scores, and B. Being Right. What an odious woman. What a poor child. I wonder 1, where she got her PhD from, and 2, whether it was actually a PhD or an EdD.
I think that this is the flip side of my coin. I too have a graduate degree in education and didn't teach much (only, you know, wrote books & stuff...). It did give me insight into how school administration works (also, my mom, stepdad and grandma were educators). So I knew exactly what was going on in my daughter's HS - they were trying to get all the poorly motivated students to DROP OUT! seriously :( No school counselors (they had the position but all they did was advise on college placement or the tech curriculum). My girl was not an angel by ANY means, but she didn't deserve to be singled out as undeserving of a HS diploma at 15, with absolutely no support nor encouragement from the school. That is exactly what that HS was doing to all the 'troublesome' kids. You know what? We mothers wrote a letter to the state board and that school had to rework it's whole review profile. So yep, sometimes the teachers (more often the administration) ARE at fault.
What happened to your daughter is a direct response to high stakes testing and the charter school movement. In those situations, any student who is seen as threat to overall school performance is treated like deadweight that needs to be pruned.
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Parents can often be completely in denial about having a kid with any sort of mental illness or disability. I'm not making any excuses for this mother.
The people that do this are more afraid of being seen as a failure than anything else. In their eyes, everything they touch should be perfect. To admit that their child is anything but perfect bursts their little bubble..they can't handle reality. Having a child with special needs is nothing to be ashamed of. How you help them to grow and cope with the condition is what's important. Sticking your head in the sand and attempting to ignore it is selfish and idiotic. And it's ok to not know what to do in that situation..and always acceptable to ask for help. That's what really good parents do.
Some don't want children, they want mini-me dolls or a way to double their influence on the world.
It isn't really about intelligence: it's about arrogance, and "right fighting." The mom thought so highly of herself she couldn't allow her child to fail: in her mind, it's a poor reflection on her.
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I used to work for a woman just like Mrs. Phd, except that she insisted that her child had problems and that he be assigned his own personal aide. She would do his homework in the office. When he was an adult and had his first job, she insisted that I do his job for a week while they went on vacation. Stupid kid didn’t give me a layered file so I was unable to do his job, and his boss was equally clueless as to what file to send me ( although he was apparently okay with a total stranger working for him!) 😞
This person seriously can't accept the fact that her kid isn't that bright :/
Do you think that possibly the mother was worried about her child and in denial ? As a mother to two special needs children and one with ADHD , finding out that "something is wrong " with your kid is a devastating kick to the gut. You don't want your kid to struggle and be ostracized . I mean it's possible the mom is just an arrogant a**hole , but it's also possible that she is a mother running from accepting the fact that her son is different and will struggle
And the children suffer, the worst I see are teachers and doctors who expect their kids to be perfect and accept nothing less !!!
As a Child Psychologist in NYC, parents offered me $1k to give practice IQ tests to 3 year olds applying for private Pre K! I explained it was unethical and illegal, one offered me more-when I adamantly refused she accused ME of "not caring about children". It happened more than once, so I guess there are less ethical chump PhDs out there making $$ on the scam. I wonder if it's the same kid?
I have a PhD in a Humanities related subject. That is my specialty that niche of Humanities. Yes, I could teach other areas if I boned up on them, yes, I have a very wide range of interests which allow me to speak knowedgeably on many subjects with different people and learn from them as every one has something interesting in their life, but my children? growing up with almost all family members except me being teachers? I never assumed they would breeze through school - I certainly didn't. Any learning issues my children had my husband and I worked with the teacher. MRS PhD was doing a disservice to her child, their school and her own degree.
Someone ought to check her Ph.D. and see if the data was cooked or if it was possibly purchased or from a diploma mill. She obviously believes in short cuts.
This makes me wonder about her Ph.D. I would want to checker her data or see if it was purchased or from a diploma mill.
When I was a kid I had prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia, and my parents took me to see psychologists, pedopsychiatrists... the works. My mom has an M.A. in Social Work, but she never resorted to cheating. Besides, although my motor skills were slow to develop because I was a leftie taught to use my right hand, my marks were good. And for the record, not all Ph.D.s have Mensa-type scores. Many just work their butts off. parents who resort to teaching their kids to cheat in Grade 1, are NOT doing those kids a favor. Much better to allow them to become resilient. That Ph.D. mother should get a life instead of trying to get her gratifications by proxy through her son's performance.
What a Pretty huge Dumbass that mom! Or isn't that what PhD stands for?
Destroying their own child's future simply because of their arrogance.......some people shouldn't breed.
If Mrs. Ph.D. had actually worked at the job she trained most of her life to do rather than having her entire identity be wrapped up in motherhood, she probably wouldn't have been an insane parent.
Comment about stay at home mothers offensive and closed minded.
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They Had the 6 year old Memorize the answers. just like how you do a spelling test.
PhD mom's basic understanding of genetics is astounding. All else being equal - 1:4 chance of being a genius or below average and 1:2 chance of being average. And that doesn't even include environmental factors.
It is far worse when it goes on in higher grades as is frequently the case in private schools in China. With only one child many parents expect much more than their child is capable of and too many demand material far in advance so their child can learn the answers by rote just like the mother in the article. these are not special needs children, just ones who don't live up to ther parents unreal expectations.
Am i the only one who thinks this type of article on BP is nothing more than gossiping? Of course when you only hear one side of a story you are usually going to side with the story teller. The story teller could embellish or leave out critical facts.
Still gives us the basis to form an interesting debate based on the information we have. People learn from the discussions we have here, find interesting facts and amuse each other. I like reading about the different things that people have experienced and these kinds of articles draw the stories out. Why do we have to be so rigid? Personally I don't want rules about what is on Bored Panda - I like that it is about anything and everything. I also find it rather amusing that people who dislike these articles have clearly read most if not all of it. Don't bother - pick a different article.
Load More Replies... This makes me wonder how many antivax parents would avoid tests designed to diagnose their child borderline on the Autistic Spectrum simply because it would prove them wrong.
I had a college classmate that asked me to observe the two kids she nannied in the afternoons. She knew I had an autistic son. Upon observing the two kids (brother and sister) I told her that I thought the 4 year old boy should be further tested as he showed all the signs of autism (flapping hands, gibberish talk, rocking, obsessing over toys, fear of being touched, lack of eye contact.) That's when she said she was afraid of saying anything to the parents because if she ever told them the kids had a problem, they'd shut her down and explain how perfect their kids were. She was afraid if she pushed it, she'd lose her job. I think there needs to be laws in this country that when a learning disability is suspected, the child can be tested without parent permission and that denying the school the ability to test is tantamount to child neglect.
Load More Replies... Proof that knowledge and intelligence is something you earn, not genetics. This mother was also displaying her ignorance when she was insulting the teacher and principal. If she were so smart, she should know better, she would have tried to negotiate, or something like that. But maybe her perception of being smart is how much one can memorize, rather than actual understanding, cognition and creativity (not only in an artistic sense, of course). Which kinda seems to be the case here. And that's the root of the problem here.
Genetics does play a very major part but environmental factors are massively important as well. Genome-wide polygenic scores (GPS) look at the influence of the many, many different genes involved in various factors that make up intelligence eg spatial sense, vocabulary, cognitive skills and imagination. GPS can be used as a predictor of intelligence but it's a long way off being reliable but will always be about probabilities.
Load More Replies... When it comes to their own children many people are simply blind and see them only through rose colored glasses
Oh if I had a penny for every time my students handed in their parents’ work instead of their own. Just a couple of words of advice to those parents - we know! We get to know your children from the first day they walk into our classroom. Stop doing a disservice to your children, and get them the help they desperately need.
Heck, in my daughter's kindergarten class, there were parents who made the hand turkey instead of their kid. How desperate do you have to be?
Load More Replies... Many years ago we had a meeting with our daughter's first grade teacher, where she explained that she felt that our daughter would benefit from retaking first grade again. We listened, we asked questions , and in the end decided that being a teacher, and spending every day with our daughter, she had a far better idea of what our daughter needed, as far as education. The look on that teachers face when we agreed with her...I will never forget it. I remember her saying "Wow. I was prepared for a fight!". I now have a High School student that is flourishing in Honors classes. WHY any parent would put their own ego in front of their child is deplorable . Bravo to this teacher!
With me it's the exact opposite. Every last specialist says that I'm fine. My mother is hellbent on me being autistic. I'm half contemplating asking to be officially tested to stick it under her nose. Maybe she'll lay off of me then. And well, if I *am* autistic, then maybe something can be done about it.
In a previous job I worked with people from underpriveliged backgrounds and lifestyles. They were mostly desperate to get their unruly children diagnosed with ADHD. They did not want to accept that the child's dreadful behaviour, poor social skills, and being developmentally way behind their peers was due to bad/non-existant parenting. That and the drugs given for such kids were worth money on the local drug-scene. Felt so sorry for those children and the start they were getting in life.
Load More Replies... What I don't understand is how none of these people knew that learning disabilities have nothing todo with how intelligent a person is. And going to "special ed" (which the schools my kids went to we're called resource rooms) to learn how to deal with
I like to think I’m doing well in school. Except for my math, at least. But everyone has their strengths. Everyone learns differently as well. I was recently switched from a teacher (who retired and caused this switch) who went step-by-step, requiring students to go along, to one who just writes on the board. My grades are dropping. (She’s not that good of a teacher anyways. Every kid’s grade in math is dropping if they’ve been thrown into her room). I’m easily confused. Some aren’t. My strength is not math. I’m not good at paying attention. Luckily, my family acknowledges that, and it’s a big stress reliever. My friends whose parents aren’t so understanding are under much more strain.
When teachers aren't good and their students grades are dropping you'd think that the school would notice and want to do something. I hope that some solution is found for you - at least you know your strengths and have the support of your parents.
Load More Replies... Personally, I'd like to say I have mixed feelings about being diagnosed. I got diagnosed with autism at 18, and I'm not sure if the experience would have been better earlier or just the same. I'd hoped that a diagnosis would get people to try to understand me better, but just as many of them believe they already understand me because of the diagnosis, which isn't necessarily true. Sometimes I can't tell where the diagnosis starts and the me ends. Think carefully before you try to get your child diagnosed, consider the person they are and the person you're willing to become for them. Most of all remember balance and that they are an individual.
So sad. This mother is making her son's abilities all about her instead of paying attention to his needs.
My fiance is a high school math teacher. She struggles with the non-existent parents, the helicopter parents who question everything and this type of parent that she calls "lawnmower parents".
Lots of smart people have some trouble learning very early on, in those beginning elementary levels students are learning how to learn. It's hard stuff. That doesn't mean that student cannot ever be smart or accomplished, it just means they need to work a little harder at it. No big deal. Until a parent gets offended. Ugh, no one is being helped by these situations.
The first thing that came to mind was foreshadowing -could Trump's parents have reacted the same way?
For that mother, a kid is a status symbol, and a way to show all her friends and neighbors that she is a Martyr Who Gave Up Her Career For Her Child And As A Result, Has The Perfect Child. It was less that the kid had a learning disability as much as it was r=tha others would know that her child wasn't perfect. After all, the mother knew that her kid wasn't actually learning the material, but all she cared about was A. her kid getting good test scores, and B. Being Right. What an odious woman. What a poor child. I wonder 1, where she got her PhD from, and 2, whether it was actually a PhD or an EdD.
I think that this is the flip side of my coin. I too have a graduate degree in education and didn't teach much (only, you know, wrote books & stuff...). It did give me insight into how school administration works (also, my mom, stepdad and grandma were educators). So I knew exactly what was going on in my daughter's HS - they were trying to get all the poorly motivated students to DROP OUT! seriously :( No school counselors (they had the position but all they did was advise on college placement or the tech curriculum). My girl was not an angel by ANY means, but she didn't deserve to be singled out as undeserving of a HS diploma at 15, with absolutely no support nor encouragement from the school. That is exactly what that HS was doing to all the 'troublesome' kids. You know what? We mothers wrote a letter to the state board and that school had to rework it's whole review profile. So yep, sometimes the teachers (more often the administration) ARE at fault.
What happened to your daughter is a direct response to high stakes testing and the charter school movement. In those situations, any student who is seen as threat to overall school performance is treated like deadweight that needs to be pruned.
Load More Replies... Parents can often be completely in denial about having a kid with any sort of mental illness or disability. I'm not making any excuses for this mother.
The people that do this are more afraid of being seen as a failure than anything else. In their eyes, everything they touch should be perfect. To admit that their child is anything but perfect bursts their little bubble..they can't handle reality. Having a child with special needs is nothing to be ashamed of. How you help them to grow and cope with the condition is what's important. Sticking your head in the sand and attempting to ignore it is selfish and idiotic. And it's ok to not know what to do in that situation..and always acceptable to ask for help. That's what really good parents do.
Some don't want children, they want mini-me dolls or a way to double their influence on the world.
It isn't really about intelligence: it's about arrogance, and "right fighting." The mom thought so highly of herself she couldn't allow her child to fail: in her mind, it's a poor reflection on her.
Load More Replies... I used to work for a woman just like Mrs. Phd, except that she insisted that her child had problems and that he be assigned his own personal aide. She would do his homework in the office. When he was an adult and had his first job, she insisted that I do his job for a week while they went on vacation. Stupid kid didn’t give me a layered file so I was unable to do his job, and his boss was equally clueless as to what file to send me ( although he was apparently okay with a total stranger working for him!) 😞
This person seriously can't accept the fact that her kid isn't that bright :/
Do you think that possibly the mother was worried about her child and in denial ? As a mother to two special needs children and one with ADHD , finding out that "something is wrong " with your kid is a devastating kick to the gut. You don't want your kid to struggle and be ostracized . I mean it's possible the mom is just an arrogant a**hole , but it's also possible that she is a mother running from accepting the fact that her son is different and will struggle
And the children suffer, the worst I see are teachers and doctors who expect their kids to be perfect and accept nothing less !!!
As a Child Psychologist in NYC, parents offered me $1k to give practice IQ tests to 3 year olds applying for private Pre K! I explained it was unethical and illegal, one offered me more-when I adamantly refused she accused ME of "not caring about children". It happened more than once, so I guess there are less ethical chump PhDs out there making $$ on the scam. I wonder if it's the same kid?
I have a PhD in a Humanities related subject. That is my specialty that niche of Humanities. Yes, I could teach other areas if I boned up on them, yes, I have a very wide range of interests which allow me to speak knowedgeably on many subjects with different people and learn from them as every one has something interesting in their life, but my children? growing up with almost all family members except me being teachers? I never assumed they would breeze through school - I certainly didn't. Any learning issues my children had my husband and I worked with the teacher. MRS PhD was doing a disservice to her child, their school and her own degree.
Someone ought to check her Ph.D. and see if the data was cooked or if it was possibly purchased or from a diploma mill. She obviously believes in short cuts.
This makes me wonder about her Ph.D. I would want to checker her data or see if it was purchased or from a diploma mill.
When I was a kid I had prodromal symptoms of schizophrenia, and my parents took me to see psychologists, pedopsychiatrists... the works. My mom has an M.A. in Social Work, but she never resorted to cheating. Besides, although my motor skills were slow to develop because I was a leftie taught to use my right hand, my marks were good. And for the record, not all Ph.D.s have Mensa-type scores. Many just work their butts off. parents who resort to teaching their kids to cheat in Grade 1, are NOT doing those kids a favor. Much better to allow them to become resilient. That Ph.D. mother should get a life instead of trying to get her gratifications by proxy through her son's performance.
What a Pretty huge Dumbass that mom! Or isn't that what PhD stands for?
Destroying their own child's future simply because of their arrogance.......some people shouldn't breed.
If Mrs. Ph.D. had actually worked at the job she trained most of her life to do rather than having her entire identity be wrapped up in motherhood, she probably wouldn't have been an insane parent.
Comment about stay at home mothers offensive and closed minded.
Load More Replies... They Had the 6 year old Memorize the answers. just like how you do a spelling test.
PhD mom's basic understanding of genetics is astounding. All else being equal - 1:4 chance of being a genius or below average and 1:2 chance of being average. And that doesn't even include environmental factors.
It is far worse when it goes on in higher grades as is frequently the case in private schools in China. With only one child many parents expect much more than their child is capable of and too many demand material far in advance so their child can learn the answers by rote just like the mother in the article. these are not special needs children, just ones who don't live up to ther parents unreal expectations.
Am i the only one who thinks this type of article on BP is nothing more than gossiping? Of course when you only hear one side of a story you are usually going to side with the story teller. The story teller could embellish or leave out critical facts.
Still gives us the basis to form an interesting debate based on the information we have. People learn from the discussions we have here, find interesting facts and amuse each other. I like reading about the different things that people have experienced and these kinds of articles draw the stories out. Why do we have to be so rigid? Personally I don't want rules about what is on Bored Panda - I like that it is about anything and everything. I also find it rather amusing that people who dislike these articles have clearly read most if not all of it. Don't bother - pick a different article.
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