35 Of The Most Soul-Crushing Things Folks Have Ever Heard Someone Say, As Shared By People In This Online Group
Life is full of everything.
And when you’re starting to think that things are looking up and that positive things are coming and that there is no evil in the world, you get hit in the face by reality.
A reality so heavy that it feels hard to stomach.
Folks online have been sharing these particular moments. A Redditor asked others to share the most soul-crushing things someone told them or they have heard someone say. Nearly 2,000 comments later, we’re here.
Scroll down to read the best responses to the viral question. And while you’re at it, upvote, comment, or share your soul-crushing moments, or if not that, then ways to recover from said soul-crushing moments, in the comment section below
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I used to work in a restaurant, and a woman came in with an urn and set it on her table. Apparently her son had died in a car accident very recently and she was supposed to take him out to lunch for his birthday… so she brought his ashes to lunch instead. She was there for a few hours sobbing into her food (we all felt so bad because people kept staring at her as we sat them or walked past her table). Then she ordered his favorite dessert off our menu with special birthday plating, and just let it sit on the table. It was really awful to watch her be so irreparably heartbroken.
"How can she be my wife? I have no idea who she is." said my husband of 8 years after a bad car wreck and 4 weeks in a coma. He lost about 12 years of memories. Including our whole relationship. We got divorced 2 years after as his memory never returned.
My husband and I took our teenage son and his friend (I’ll call him Alex) to an amusement park recently.
My husband is a really funny guy and was making both boys laugh on the car ride home.
Alex told my husband, “You’re really funny, Mr. D! You remind me of my Dad, except your jokes aren’t hurtful.”
My heart.
My dad and step mom adopted a baby girl, and my step sister overheard my dad talking about how excited he is to adopt a girl because *he’s never had a daughter*.
Absolutely crushed my step sister, she thought of my dad like her own father. He’s been all she’s known.
I saw a documentary.... I don't even recall what it was about, but they were focusing on this family in a rural part of eastern Europe or southern Asia. There was a little girl in this family and all she did was work. She couldn't go to school, and she just assisted her mother in doing all the necessary drudgery around the house.
One of the film makers asked the girl what her secret dream was.
She said, "To play".
Woken in the middle of the night to a phone call from an anonymous, kind nurse who said. “I regret to inform you but [your mother] passed away at 11:40pm. She was not alone... I held her hand.”
When I was 14, I overheard my mother, who had already abandoned my sister and was making arrangements for me to go live with a relative, trying to convince her new husband that they should have a baby together.
Omg. I’m so sorry. I can’t believe any parent that would do that to their own child!
"My family just gave up on me."
-A 10-year-old that just got the news they had been unadopted by their family of the last 5 years.
That’s horrible! Keeping a child for 5 years and deciding they aren’t good enough for you. The poor kid was already dealing with abandonment issues from the bio parents. Way to screw up the the kid’s head and life.
That is horrible, but you don't know all the facts. My cousin adopted a very troubled older child who became violent (the final straw) despite all of their efforts to get help. They eventually decided they could no longer endanger the lives of other family members nor expose themselves to liability for actions of that person outside the home.
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I knew lady who worked in a children's home. She said it happens more often than you think. She told me about couple, who couldn't conceive. They adopted a 6yo boy, but woman eventually became pregnant. And boy was promptly unadopted and had to return to children's home.
There should be additional legal repercussions for surrendering an adopted child.
But if there was people wouldn’t do it. If you could be fined or jailed for surrendering a child who was violent to you or your other kids you’d never take that risk.
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How the f does this even happen?? Don’t prospective adoptive parents get checked and have counselling before they can adopt? Where are the after adoption checks? I know there are no additional supports for adoptive parents over bio parents for kids, but there are supports for all parents for a range of issues, why not use them? Yes there can be huge issues, but ask for help, then demand it, then force the issue. Please don’t give up.
A lot of times the adoption agencies hide the true nature of the child’s problems. Many a from drug addict mothers and have mental problems from that, lots have been abused and the adoptive parents are not told. My mum looked into fostering when my dad died as she felt she had space and time now she didn’t have to work but I had two small boys and knowing that the rate abused children go on to abuse others she asked social services not to place any sexually abused children with her as she wanted to make sure the joke was safe for her grandchildren she was told ‘oh we wouldn’t disclose that information to you’ she noped out of fostering which is a shame as she would have been amazing. My boys are grown now and she wouldn’t have any issues loving and nurturing abused kids now the risk was no longer there.
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I know every situation is different and we don't have the whole story, but holy poop that sounds so heartbreakingly painful for the kid.
In the Netherlands you can't undo an adoption. They can go to a home fot kids with special needs but it wil bre legaly your child. The only one that can undoo an adooption is the child when its 20, 21 or 22 years of age.
I couldn't imagine this happening to my brother 😭😭😭 he just turned two and was just adopted, he's been with us almost all his life, leaving him....😭 I cannot with people
There are so many, many tragically damaged children. Their actions aren't meant to be detrimental to the foster/adoptive family. When you put together all the causes, abuse, neglect, environment, genetics and then add in the chemical exposure, all that before they have even been moved into the system.
It should be illegal to "unadopt" someone..... You need to know what you are getting into before you adopt a kid.
If an agency doesn't disclose because they know the child is a difficult placement, shouldn't that be illegal? We don't know the circumstances here.
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UNADOPTED! How is that not criminal? Why is there even a process/name for something this destructive?
It should need good reason but as was pointed out above, they often don't disclose a child's problems. Now granted five years is excessive on this one, but it's possible kid had problems and parents saw no progress on overcoming them and simply couldn't hack it. So the question is, how many years are you willing to allow a child to punch you, how big before they can cause serious injury? How willing are you to risk them hurting someone else in various ways? Even without dangerous activities, how many times can you deal with the heartbreak of them running away? How many times can you handle them blatantly ignoring you because they don't think you'll stick around? What Is the limits of your mental stress? I don't think it's right to return the child, but sometimes it's the lesser of two evils. If you're starting to fray and worried you'll snap, if the kid is becoming a danger to you and others, if it's spiraling you into a depression where you'd neglect them well which is worse?
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Not where I live. It’s the same as abandoning your biological child. Children are a one way ticket here, but I guess it’s different in different places.
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Wow that is messed up why do that? Goodness grief. Them people are horrible
That is tragic...unless the parents knew they were unfit....and, I guess they are, one way or another.
Likely the easiest is for the adopting parents to petition the Courts to surrender Parental Rights over the adopted child, as one would a 'natural' child. An adopted child can petition for revocation, as can the biological parents (hardest to win). The circumstances will determine how easy or difficult it would be. -- Alternatively, as Jenn said, the adopting parents could surrender them to the system. The only difference would be the child would still legally be consider a child of the parents surrendering him or her. For foreign adoptions, the procedure can be as easy as simply returning the child to the Country and paying a fee, depending on the Laws of said Country.
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Sorry I just can’t bear to read some of these sad comments. I want to say come live with me.
I thought that was literally illegal. I did not know you could raise a kid then un-adopt them when you get tired of them. Is this... seriously legal? What's to stop someone from just randomly giving up their 10 year old when they get bored of them? I've seen stories of people being arrested (as they SHOULD be) just for trying to do something similar to that...
My God. How do people like this exist? Brutal. Five years and then boom this poor child is ‘unadopted.’ I hope so much that they find a loving family.
My first big break-up. I was crying and said to my mom, "I feel like I'm hard to love."
She gently replied, "Well, you are."
I was the one being abused.
I was a typical teenager. I've been brutally honest with multiple therapists (at first, on an attempt to get them to see whatever awful person my parents saw) and have been reassured a was a *typical depressed teenager*.
Any "abusive" behavior from me was reactive abuse (i.e. yelling after I'd been pushed and pushed and pushed).
I wasn't the Proper Pastor's Kid they wanted.
I've been married to the same man for 15+ years (got married at 19) so... I found at least one person to love me.
I’m sorry that happened. That sucks. No one should say that to their kid!
"Mom and Dad have been telling people they only have two kids" from my sister. They have three kids. All because I didn't go to the religious college they wanted me to go to.
Son was moved from hospital to palliative care. They said he had about a week. After getting him settled there he stopped being alert so I went home to grab a shower and get some rest. He passed while I was away, alone.
I’m sooo sorry for you loss, though I know words will never make it better
"Vleir is dead."
Vleir was the name of the pony who basically started my entire horse back riding experience, he gave me confidence like never before, he was so kind, so sweet, so gentle, he taught me how to canter, he taught me patience and how to jump. He was the best boy out there.
The last time I saw him was the afternoon of my usual riding lesson, he was sick so he wasn't being used for lessons. He passes away from a heart attack in his pasture that same night.
I remember crying myself to sleep the night my mom told me he was gone. Tearing up while writing this right now.
RIP Vleir sweet boy, I miss you and I regret not saying goodbye before I left to go home.
I’m so sorry. I also ride and have a great bond with one of my trainers horses. I can’t imagine the feeling of losing gypsy.
Less what I heard and more what I saw. I found out my stepdad was cheating on my mom one day when I was 14. I waited a few hours for my mom to get home and when I showed her what I found she took a deep breath and walked outside into the driveway. I’ve never seen such a visible heart break and my own heart has never hurt so much for my mom. Thankfully now five years later they’ve worked through it but I don’t think my mom will ever be the same.
I caught my dad cheating on my mom with the neighbors wife. I was 12 years old and I saw them hugging and kissing. I had gotten up to go to the bathroom and when my dad saw me he said oh that's just how friends show affection. I was not that dumb and told my mother. It ended up breaking up two families and was very messy but better off in the end.
My mum once told me “You wouldn’t be a very good mother, your sister would be much better”. I always loved and worked with children, my sister is more of an animal person. It crushed me because I always dreamed of being a mother and I still think about that comment made years ago when my boyfriend brings up the children topic.
Walked into school one morning to find out one of my parents were dead.
In the hospital 36 hours after having my first child my (then) husband said I was scaring him and I better get my s**t together because I was teary-eyed with happiness over my new little miracle baby.
Oh gosh. Your exhusband sucks! I guarantee that if u want us to we will hunt that jerk down!
“You’re going to end up just like your dad. A lonely junkie that no one wants to be around.” I just stood there silent. I didn’t know what to say to that.
Ahh, that’s almost word-for-word what my adoptive mom told me when I was 8. “You’re going to end up a junkie and an alcoholic, just like your biological mom.” I know OP’s feels :(
"I never loved you. Leave me alone." - After 8 years of relationship from the girl I was about to marry.
*I was only with you because x didn't want me, and now he does there's no future for us.*
Talk about a kick in the teeth.
That's cold-blooded. Sounds like you dodged a bullet, however painful it was. Better to be rid a heartless rat that like
Recently?
Dad called me a few weeks ago, "Mom. She's gone."
She'd been sick, but it was still pretty unexpected.
Still doesn't seem real.
“He’s gone” 4 weeks after finding out my dad had cancer. I watched him die but hearing that destroyed me.
I had a close friend group and I left to go put something up. I came back and heard them say annoying so I of course asked who or what was annoying. They said you. "me?", I said. Completely crushed me they also told me that. No one really likes me. Yeah that really did it and I'm a lot different now. I'm also kind of glad that happend because now I'm a lot different.
When my grandpa told me I wasn’t good enough. I was always never a girly girl but not quite a tomboy. I was really close to him but he was old school. As I grew up he started to realize that I wasn’t changing in the right way. He kept telling me to use my lady voice, to sit ladylike, eat lady like, and do ladylike things. He had enough when he saw me with my animals being not gentle when they were stubborn and getting dirty and liking it. He got mad and yelled at me after when no one was around. It hurt because always thought he would love me no matter what then I found out that there were conditions to his love.
I’m confused by, “when he saw me with my animals being not gentle when they were stubborn and getting dirty and liking it.” 🤷🏽♀️
A coworker told me that I am boring. It has always been something I felt about myself but having someone confirm it to my face was like a punch in my gut.
"I don't have time for you." My father said this to me multiple times when growing up. Especially whenever I started to express that I was sad and or even really sick.
My Dad was the same. I had a great relationship with Mom but never Dad. Even when he died, I cried not so much for him but for the relationship that never was.
Was told my best friend from primary school said this the day after we had to put my dog down, “She acts like he was going to live forever.” Doesn’t seem like much but it really upset me, considering I was like 9 or 10.
Omg. She’s an awful friend! Who says that when someone’s dog dies?! Dogs are like family. My childhood dog is like a brother to me!
About five months into my relationship with my now-ex boyfriend, he pulled me aside from a conversation I was having with my mates. I was like "what's up?"
"Nothing, I just don't know if I trust you around others anymore."
This guy was paranoid that I would leave him that he didn't want me having friends or going anywhere without constantly talking to him 24/7. He was even more worried because I'm bisexual, meaning there was "double the threat" in his words.
That relationship went on for about 10 months, and about 5 months too long.
I've dated several bisexual girls. I certainly don't feel threatened by another girl in the mix. Am I a pig, after all?
When my uncle passed away, mum and I took his phone. My 8yo cousin had texted him "are you dead?" whenever she found out. I couldn't stop crying.
My first kiss is a bad memory because the girl told me she lost a bet with her friends and was dared to do it.
An ex-girlfriend who left me allegedly because she wants to pay more attention to herself, self-development, does not want a relationship.
It would seem normal, at that moment I understood her, but after 2 days I found out that she had a new boyfriend. This blatant lie broke my heart...
Story time! So I had a gf I loved very much, and she broke up w me and said the same thing; wasn’t ready for a relationship needed time for themself, and I understood and we broke it off. Her friend was behind us too while she did it. Anyways a few months later thr friend asked me out And I said yes cuz she was fairly attractive, but I didint know her (biggest regret of my life so far). I told my ex gf and she said no. Don’t date her. I kinda laughed it off and she persisted. She told me they had dated and it was toxic and she was manipulative. I though they had dated before ex gf dated me, but it had been right after, cuz she showed me some messages between them and it was dated around the time she broke up w me. So ig the girl had manipulated her and told her she needed to break up w me to date her, she had listened, broke up w me and they dated till she was borderline sexually abusive and ex gf broke up w her. After I dated her it was a huge fight and I don’t even want to get into.
I teach martial arts to 3-5 yo. A mom brought her daughter and asked if those kids with me were mine. I said yes but the other twin stayed home. The mom took a deep breath and said that her daughter had a twin too that died at birth.
Girl I had a crush on told me she was embarrassed that she had feelings for me.
My dad was not my biological father.
Even tho he’s not your bio dad, he still loves you and cares for you. That makes him your father!
"Your mom has cancer..."
I remember getting this call about my father. Sat in my car outside the grocery store and ugly cried.
"Your mom is cheating on me."
I never cheated, but my ex husband talked about me wanting a divorce like this to our kid. He told her that I abandoned him and am trying to steal his money. Dude it's called child support!
Note: this post originally had 38 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
When i was 14 i fainted at the Kingdom Hall ( Jehovah Witness version of a Church) when i was in the ER my parents were told that i more than likely needed a blood transfusion and my parents denied the treat me due to their "faith" Im 40 and ok now but i think about that all the time and in honestly feels worst every time it think about it..
I’m really sorry. I know religious people can be manipulated to believe anything, but it should never be a reason to decline non-controversal and almost completely safe treatment for their child. I would rather go to all the hells from all the religions at once than risk my kids’ lives.
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Yeah these are pretty bad. I have several but one that will forever annoy me is my mom let slip that when I was born my uncles wife said I would grow up to be cold and heartless and noone would love me. She was a real piece of work and never liked me; wanted nothing to do with me but adored my older sister and just neutral about my brother. I mean I am cold and bitter but you can't say that about a freaking infant. Noone liked that woman and some of us believe my uncles death wasn't an accident.
I met the love of my life two years after being in an abusive marriage. A close friend committed suicide three weeks ago, then my partner left me yesterday. Feel so broken and lost.
I will be here for anything you need to talk about, I can’t ever imagine how broken your heart is
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When I was 11 my Nanny was watching my younger sister walk across the yard and commented how beautiful she would be when she grew up. Then my Nanny patted my hand and said I was lucky I was so smart. OK Nanny thanks for that!
I was told multiple time by my aunt that I was abusing her because I'd blow up at her for mistreating me and denying me expression of vital parts of my identity. Also was told by both bio parents and a step parent that I was a mistake and was supposed to be aborted
Felix Grace, your aunt, bio parents, and step parent can go pound sand. Good for you on standing up for yourself with your aunt.Your bio parents and your step parent are wrong. YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE! ! ! God made you and you are not a mistake! ! !
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"You're not exactly a nice person". Said to me by a "friend' right out of nowhere. Even after I pointed out that was a horrible thing to say he just gave a perfunctory apology and moved on as if nothing had happened. I broke off the friendship and later realised he was probably trying to "neg" me on purpose because I wouldn't sleep with him. Bastard.
You seem like a nice person, based on your comments on BP.
Load More Replies... I was told from 8 to 17 that my mum wanted an abortion she didn't want me, said by my mom's mom who i lived with in that periode. My mom said it wasn't true and he and my dad wanted me even though i was an accident. I never knew who to belive and have a hard time trusting peoples. It was first at 34 year old i talked to my dad on facebook, and now i knew the truth. My mom's mom insisted that my mom should get an abortion because noone wanted an ugly baby etc.
It sounds like your parents were/are on your side and your grandparent was/is just a jerk. I'm glad you at least have your parent's love and I'm sorry you had to go through that with your grandparent.
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The sperm-donor that I adored till my teens actually cheated on my pregnant mum because he was into blondes (which my mum is, with a PhDr from a world renowned university), so he cheated with a woman who later made the both go to jail. I used to adore him because he would bring me candy whenever he visited, now... all I can think of is how thankful I am that I grew up with my mum instead of him. She endured a lot for having a dark child, being a single mother, but she gave me everything and more, and now I can finally reciprocate. I love you, mum! <3
me too. i don't know why i thought reading soul-crushing entries wouldn't crush my soul as well...
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I’m a rainbow baby born one year after my stillborn sister I’m also Black, mama’s side dark skinned, daddy’s fair skinned, some white passing. I was seven or so and I heard daddy’s mama and my aunt talking. My grandmother said; “It’s a shame that if one of the those babies had to die it had to be M, because she had our light eyes and good hair”
Dear people! I just want to say that even after horrible experiences, there is still hope, friendship and love in the world. Don't deny those because of what you believe (about yourself). You survived the bad, please embrace the good. -> I believe in you! <- ...and if a total stranger can believe in you, you can as well!
My mom had been a little confused lately but not badly. When I went to her house that morning and walked up to where she was sitting she looked at me and said,"do you live with your parents?" I didn't know what to say. So I just said, "no mom I've been married for a long time and you're my parent, you're my mom"
This is the thing I'm not looking forward to, but my dad.
Load More Replies... Within the same week, the two people that I thought as my best friends (we grew up together and did just about everything together, well, me with them separately because they didn't really know each other) looked me dead in the eye and said I wasn't their best friend. We were adults at that time, in our late twenties, and I was about to move across the state. This was probably around 6 or 7 years ago and it still hurts. I have since put a LOT of distance between myself and them. I also have a REALLY hard time making friends because now I don't think I'm worth anyone's time. I'm trying really hard to improve myself (with therapy), but I'm afraid I'll always just be an acquaintance to everyone. I feel like I'm not friendship material.
Omg! Let me tell you right now that you are 100% worth ANYONE'S time! You sound like you're in touch with your emotions and like someone with common sense - those qualities are sadly hard to find these days! I, too, am really struggling to have friends, so I really understand your fear of being stuck as an acquaintance. I would offer to be your friend if online friendships weren't hard for me to maintain! You've just got to find someone who has the same interests/personality traits (I know, a whole lot easier said than done). But I guarantee that you're likeable enough that someone is going to love being your friend. Your future best friend is out there - you just haven't found them yet!! I hope mine is, too... 🤞🤞🏻
Load More Replies... When my mother found out I was gay, she came into my room, said "I wish you had killed yourself in college. It would have been easier for us to deal with." And then forced me to break up with my girlfriend by telling her I wanted nothing to do with her. My mom then attempted to comfort me by telling me that no one could ever love me like she did. We've been no contact for 2 years now.
Omg that's horrible! What a B! In a way, she was right- no one will ever love you like she did~ they will love you WAY BETTER!! Good job cutting her out of your life. You deserve to be happy.
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When I was 15, I fancied a lad in my area. He knew and wouldn't go out with me. When I turned 16 he all of a sudden liked me and we became boyfriend and girlfriend. We were doing what young teens do (except that!!) for a couple weeks and then he dumps me. I was upset but got over it. I later found out from a friend of mine that the only reason he went out with me was because "he wanted to become a man and lose his virginity!!" Hence why he didn't go out with me until I turned 16!! That hurt and stuck with me over the years making me think that that was all I was worth. People only wanted to be with me so they could have their way with me. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, but after that, I hate myself for it now, but the thought of "that was all I was worth" stuck with me and I became quite promiscuous during my late teens and early 20s. Im still single, but don't give myself up so easily nowadays, looking for a more serious long term relationship.
When I was around 4 or 5 years of age, I was called an abomination by mom's uncle. It hurt a lot as a child and it still hurts now too.
This happened a week ago... My mother saw my results for an exam and concluded that I will not be able to accomplish anything in life and will "die homeless". Her exact words. (FYI my bad results were a cause of mounting stress at home and school cumulatively, but now I don't belive she will listen) :/ P.S. it was so heartbreaking to read so many of these
I'm sorry your mother said such an awful thing. If you believe her words then they will become true because then you'll either set yourself up for failure or never finish anything you start out of fear of failing. Just ignore the negative cràp and do your best because exams don't equal success. Please just try to believe in yourself. You will accomplish things!
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"Stop being so melodramatic. Why don't you do us all a favour and get yourself a rope so that you can hang yourself?" Courtesy of my Mum, while I suffered from major depression as a teenager. Glad she's dead.
I am so sorry this happened to you. What a horrible thing to say to anyone. I'm glad you didn't listen. <3
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when I was 9, my mom said my pet fish died I asked why, and turns out somebody ACTUALLY said fish like very hot water. they basically tried to kill my family's per fish, which was like the brother we have had.
When I was 17, my mom disappeared for 2 weeks. I knew she had a job and that she sometime hung out with my aunt (her sister.) I found out that she only lasted at her job about three days before quitting and, when I called my aunt, she said that she'd seen my mom, but she wasn't staying with her, she was staying with another man. I told my dad when he came home. I said "she's never done this before." He said "No..she does this every 6 or 7 years. Well this is the last time." And he had her served with divorce papers. I never knew that she was doing this.
My father was told by his mother that she didn't love him and he had ruined her life. From the time she was young she had this ideal of a "perfect" family with one boy and one girl. When my father, the second son was born, her dreams went out the window...
That's horrible! Not wanting a family because they are your family but so you feel like you have the perfect ideal of what a family looks like, no doubt because you think it makes you look perfect....
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just a couple of months ago, my mom came into my room while i was getting ready for school. "you're not going to school today. grandpa died last night, so we need to go take care of grandma." either that or this one: when my grandpa was in the hospital, a week or so before he died, i was scared of how much his stroke had changed him and didn't want to go and see him with my mother. i got mad at her and she said, "i don't need you to come with me. i've been doing this alone for months. i just didn't want you to never see him again." none of his other children had gone to see him; my aunt was too sad and my uncle lives in another province. my mom was the only one going, almost every day. it was one of the only times i've ever seen her cry. i still regret not going every single day in those last months.
"Your grandpa has prostate cancer and we (Mom, dad, grandpa) have known it for 3 years already" my mom told us. As a kid I was always told to stop crying so when the news hit, I felt sad but I played the loving and caring daughter/ sister and broke down when I was alone in my room. I still don't understand why they didn't tell us. They removed my grandpa's prostate and he's still healing up. The Dr's checked and there are no other cancer cells found. I'm still slightly pissed that they told us so late
Prostate Cancer develops very slowly and has a high cure rate. There was no need to put you though three years of angst and uncertainty.
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The most soul crushing thing I've ever heard someone say was "if your watching this that means I've died" and "so long nerds" I was absolutely crushed and cried alot
Not quite as depressing as most of this, but the first thing my mom said to me when I got home from the beach last night was a negative comment on how I looked. Like yeah mom, I've been at the beach all day, and I was having fun. Sorry I wasn't brushing my hair like rapunzel the whole time. Oh, and by the way, until she said that I felt beautiful :( Thank you for listening to my sad TEDTalk
When my now ex-husband told the doctor to unplug me because he didn't need me anymore. I had just given birth, and after 7 blood transfusions was in a coma for 3 days. The doc had called my husband to let him know they couldn't do anything more for me and if they could transfer me elsewhere in the hospital. That was the first and only time I heard and saw a doctor cry. PS Yes you can hear convos when you're in a coma as long as you're "awake".
Weirdly, it's a tie for me. "You should be dead, not your sister" from a relative, five days after that sister said to me, as our last in-person words, "You're only in my wedding so I have even numbers". Whatever self-worth I thought I had? It evaporated.
When I was 11 I had to be told I would never go back to my elementary school with the best chosen family I could ever ask for. Also when I was told my Great grandmother was dead
When I was 17 my mom was mad at me and told me ‘I know those boys aren’t calling to talk to you because you’re pretty!’ I was hurt and started crying.. she asked me ‘if I was crying because she said that I was easy.? I told her ‘No- you said I wasn’t pretty!’ I truly was hurt because I knew I wasn’t easy, so I could care less of what she thought about that-but she pretty much called me ugly. She rolled her eyes and walked away. I was a superficial teen and as an adult I am offended by the entire statement. FYI: My mom got some depression meds shortly after and perked right up.
I stopped reading. All it did was remind me of every vile thing that's ever been said to me. Apparently I have a mental filing cabinet where each and every one has been kept in pristine condition.
Sometimes it's what people *don't* say that can be heartbreaking... I have about a dozen friends scattered across the country whom I don't keep in touch with as much as I used to, but I always made it a point to wish them a happy birthday on each of their respective days. For the last 3 years, the only 2 people who have remembered my birthday are my partner, who lives with me, and my partner's dad. It has just been crushing to realize that all of the people who have had the biggest impact in my life have meant so much more to me than I apparently mean to them. Between that, and having been betrayed in various ways by people who claimed to be good friends, I feel completely broken when it comes to friendship/socializing, and feel as though I will never really open myself to trust anyone except my partner for the rest of my life. I moved to a new city 10 months ago, and have made zero effort to socialize. I am courteous towards my coworkers, but make sure to keep my distance emotionally.
Being told multiple times that I was abusing my aunt because I'd blow up at her for treating me like s**t and denying me the right to express vital parts of myself and other emotional BS
I was 13 years old and at my grandparents house, waiting for my dad to come home on a Saturday morning. My parents were divorced so this was pretty normal but I remember that day being told to sit outside with my brother and the dogs and wait. I remember walking inside and seeing my family in tears sitting with my mother and a cop and being told "Your Daddy isn't coming home" and finding out that he committed s*icide hours prior.
I was at work and my mom thought it was a good time to call me and let me know that the little girl I used to be a caregiver for, and would have still been if the hours hadn't clashed with my husband's job, had passed away at age 10. It would have been on my shift. I was devastated. I knew it would happen, it almost happened twice on my shift before. Every year with her was a miracle as doctors told her family she would make it a week, let alone a year. I loved that sweet girl, she was the first person to know I was getting engaged. It's been over 16 years and I still think of her, my sons know all about her
Nearly 7: my dad told me "mom has ms and we need to protect her and take care of her.." At 14: my mom got a phonecall from the hospital, where my dad was in a coma "your husband died between 8:28 and 8:32". - they had been together for 30 years at that point. It's been almost 17 years now. At 28: my mom said "I have breastcancer" - they got it all, and hopefully it wont come back! Now at 30: my mom told me "my ms has progressed and I might soon end up in a wheelchair" (its okay. We've learned to live with the ms. But it still hurts to see her body fail more and more. Her mind is also not what it used to be). Im so sick and tired of it all. But man I love my mom <3 strengest person I have ever met S
My husband and I were having problems with carrying and giving birth (I have an older daughter from before). I had a stillborn and my mom asked if she could come visit us to be with us in hard time. She ended up showing up with her friend and her friend's daughter. Her daughter had chose to not eat anything all day and she was a bit wobbly on her feet and her mom pulled the emergency cord. The nurses came running in thinking it was me. After the nurses checked her out, my mom said this day was not about my husband, daughter or my still born or even I. She then checked out my stillborn and right away said "IT was a boy!" Then told me I had no reason to grieve and I should be happy. Thanks Mom for comforting us in a dark time.
My best friend died and I decided (being a stupid 8 yr old) that I wouldn't go to her funeral 2 weeks later I got invited to her husband's new wedding
If more people read this Mayo Clinic article on personality disorders, there'd be far less heartbreak in the world: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463
If more people read this article at the Mayo Clinic about personality disorders, there'd me far less heartbreak in the world: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463
Yesterday marks four years since I recieved the worst news of my life. It was my dad's birthday. I noticed my mom crying, and heard her on the phone, and assumed that it was a distant family member (we're not close with much of my dad's family). After dinner she sat me down on the couch. I remember all of this so clearly. She told me that my close friend had a fatal brain tumor and only had a couple more days to live. I had just seen her a few days before, and she was fine. She was so young, happy, we sat on a trampoline and laughed. I was sobbing. My parents were sobbing. I tried to call the best neuro surgeons in the world, none answered. My mom told me there was nothing anyone could do. It had been undetected for far too long. I wanted to go see her in the hospital, but my mom wouldn't let me. I'm glad she did now. Anna wasn't Anna anymore. She died three days later. I'm 17. She's still 13. I miss her every day.
It seems there are two types of heartbreaking news. One is stuff said by really horrible people, the other is heartbreaking because it is bad news but something that had to be said. I understand the second one, hell, I've had to say/hear that sort of thing, but the first one dumbfounds me. I just hope those that are subjected to thing like that can learn that it isn't really about them, it's about the individuals who said it. I hope they learn that no matter what they look like, who they are, those people would have found just the right weakness and insecurity to prey on to make themselves feel better. The thing is, them feeling better is probably fleeting, as they are bitter and twisted about their own lives and not dealing with their s**t. I hope the people who were hurt like that can see they are worthy of love, they just had terrible examples, but they can move past it and have a great life, unlike their abusers.
I did not finish this collection. I have enough s**t in my life as it is.
When i was 14 i fainted at the Kingdom Hall ( Jehovah Witness version of a Church) when i was in the ER my parents were told that i more than likely needed a blood transfusion and my parents denied the treat me due to their "faith" Im 40 and ok now but i think about that all the time and in honestly feels worst every time it think about it..
I’m really sorry. I know religious people can be manipulated to believe anything, but it should never be a reason to decline non-controversal and almost completely safe treatment for their child. I would rather go to all the hells from all the religions at once than risk my kids’ lives.
Load More Replies... Yeah these are pretty bad. I have several but one that will forever annoy me is my mom let slip that when I was born my uncles wife said I would grow up to be cold and heartless and noone would love me. She was a real piece of work and never liked me; wanted nothing to do with me but adored my older sister and just neutral about my brother. I mean I am cold and bitter but you can't say that about a freaking infant. Noone liked that woman and some of us believe my uncles death wasn't an accident.
I met the love of my life two years after being in an abusive marriage. A close friend committed suicide three weeks ago, then my partner left me yesterday. Feel so broken and lost.
I will be here for anything you need to talk about, I can’t ever imagine how broken your heart is
Load More Replies... When I was 11 my Nanny was watching my younger sister walk across the yard and commented how beautiful she would be when she grew up. Then my Nanny patted my hand and said I was lucky I was so smart. OK Nanny thanks for that!
I was told multiple time by my aunt that I was abusing her because I'd blow up at her for mistreating me and denying me expression of vital parts of my identity. Also was told by both bio parents and a step parent that I was a mistake and was supposed to be aborted
Felix Grace, your aunt, bio parents, and step parent can go pound sand. Good for you on standing up for yourself with your aunt.Your bio parents and your step parent are wrong. YOU ARE NOT A MISTAKE! ! ! God made you and you are not a mistake! ! !
Load More Replies... "You're not exactly a nice person". Said to me by a "friend' right out of nowhere. Even after I pointed out that was a horrible thing to say he just gave a perfunctory apology and moved on as if nothing had happened. I broke off the friendship and later realised he was probably trying to "neg" me on purpose because I wouldn't sleep with him. Bastard.
You seem like a nice person, based on your comments on BP.
Load More Replies... I was told from 8 to 17 that my mum wanted an abortion she didn't want me, said by my mom's mom who i lived with in that periode. My mom said it wasn't true and he and my dad wanted me even though i was an accident. I never knew who to belive and have a hard time trusting peoples. It was first at 34 year old i talked to my dad on facebook, and now i knew the truth. My mom's mom insisted that my mom should get an abortion because noone wanted an ugly baby etc.
It sounds like your parents were/are on your side and your grandparent was/is just a jerk. I'm glad you at least have your parent's love and I'm sorry you had to go through that with your grandparent.
Load More Replies... The sperm-donor that I adored till my teens actually cheated on my pregnant mum because he was into blondes (which my mum is, with a PhDr from a world renowned university), so he cheated with a woman who later made the both go to jail. I used to adore him because he would bring me candy whenever he visited, now... all I can think of is how thankful I am that I grew up with my mum instead of him. She endured a lot for having a dark child, being a single mother, but she gave me everything and more, and now I can finally reciprocate. I love you, mum! <3
me too. i don't know why i thought reading soul-crushing entries wouldn't crush my soul as well...
Load More Replies... I’m a rainbow baby born one year after my stillborn sister I’m also Black, mama’s side dark skinned, daddy’s fair skinned, some white passing. I was seven or so and I heard daddy’s mama and my aunt talking. My grandmother said; “It’s a shame that if one of the those babies had to die it had to be M, because she had our light eyes and good hair”
Dear people! I just want to say that even after horrible experiences, there is still hope, friendship and love in the world. Don't deny those because of what you believe (about yourself). You survived the bad, please embrace the good. -> I believe in you! <- ...and if a total stranger can believe in you, you can as well!
My mom had been a little confused lately but not badly. When I went to her house that morning and walked up to where she was sitting she looked at me and said,"do you live with your parents?" I didn't know what to say. So I just said, "no mom I've been married for a long time and you're my parent, you're my mom"
This is the thing I'm not looking forward to, but my dad.
Load More Replies... Within the same week, the two people that I thought as my best friends (we grew up together and did just about everything together, well, me with them separately because they didn't really know each other) looked me dead in the eye and said I wasn't their best friend. We were adults at that time, in our late twenties, and I was about to move across the state. This was probably around 6 or 7 years ago and it still hurts. I have since put a LOT of distance between myself and them. I also have a REALLY hard time making friends because now I don't think I'm worth anyone's time. I'm trying really hard to improve myself (with therapy), but I'm afraid I'll always just be an acquaintance to everyone. I feel like I'm not friendship material.
Omg! Let me tell you right now that you are 100% worth ANYONE'S time! You sound like you're in touch with your emotions and like someone with common sense - those qualities are sadly hard to find these days! I, too, am really struggling to have friends, so I really understand your fear of being stuck as an acquaintance. I would offer to be your friend if online friendships weren't hard for me to maintain! You've just got to find someone who has the same interests/personality traits (I know, a whole lot easier said than done). But I guarantee that you're likeable enough that someone is going to love being your friend. Your future best friend is out there - you just haven't found them yet!! I hope mine is, too... 🤞🤞🏻
Load More Replies... When my mother found out I was gay, she came into my room, said "I wish you had killed yourself in college. It would have been easier for us to deal with." And then forced me to break up with my girlfriend by telling her I wanted nothing to do with her. My mom then attempted to comfort me by telling me that no one could ever love me like she did. We've been no contact for 2 years now.
Omg that's horrible! What a B! In a way, she was right- no one will ever love you like she did~ they will love you WAY BETTER!! Good job cutting her out of your life. You deserve to be happy.
Load More Replies... When I was 15, I fancied a lad in my area. He knew and wouldn't go out with me. When I turned 16 he all of a sudden liked me and we became boyfriend and girlfriend. We were doing what young teens do (except that!!) for a couple weeks and then he dumps me. I was upset but got over it. I later found out from a friend of mine that the only reason he went out with me was because "he wanted to become a man and lose his virginity!!" Hence why he didn't go out with me until I turned 16!! That hurt and stuck with me over the years making me think that that was all I was worth. People only wanted to be with me so they could have their way with me. I didn't lose my virginity until I was 18, but after that, I hate myself for it now, but the thought of "that was all I was worth" stuck with me and I became quite promiscuous during my late teens and early 20s. Im still single, but don't give myself up so easily nowadays, looking for a more serious long term relationship.
When I was around 4 or 5 years of age, I was called an abomination by mom's uncle. It hurt a lot as a child and it still hurts now too.
This happened a week ago... My mother saw my results for an exam and concluded that I will not be able to accomplish anything in life and will "die homeless". Her exact words. (FYI my bad results were a cause of mounting stress at home and school cumulatively, but now I don't belive she will listen) :/ P.S. it was so heartbreaking to read so many of these
I'm sorry your mother said such an awful thing. If you believe her words then they will become true because then you'll either set yourself up for failure or never finish anything you start out of fear of failing. Just ignore the negative cràp and do your best because exams don't equal success. Please just try to believe in yourself. You will accomplish things!
Load More Replies... "Stop being so melodramatic. Why don't you do us all a favour and get yourself a rope so that you can hang yourself?" Courtesy of my Mum, while I suffered from major depression as a teenager. Glad she's dead.
I am so sorry this happened to you. What a horrible thing to say to anyone. I'm glad you didn't listen. <3
Load More Replies... when I was 9, my mom said my pet fish died I asked why, and turns out somebody ACTUALLY said fish like very hot water. they basically tried to kill my family's per fish, which was like the brother we have had.
When I was 17, my mom disappeared for 2 weeks. I knew she had a job and that she sometime hung out with my aunt (her sister.) I found out that she only lasted at her job about three days before quitting and, when I called my aunt, she said that she'd seen my mom, but she wasn't staying with her, she was staying with another man. I told my dad when he came home. I said "she's never done this before." He said "No..she does this every 6 or 7 years. Well this is the last time." And he had her served with divorce papers. I never knew that she was doing this.
My father was told by his mother that she didn't love him and he had ruined her life. From the time she was young she had this ideal of a "perfect" family with one boy and one girl. When my father, the second son was born, her dreams went out the window...
That's horrible! Not wanting a family because they are your family but so you feel like you have the perfect ideal of what a family looks like, no doubt because you think it makes you look perfect....
Load More Replies... just a couple of months ago, my mom came into my room while i was getting ready for school. "you're not going to school today. grandpa died last night, so we need to go take care of grandma." either that or this one: when my grandpa was in the hospital, a week or so before he died, i was scared of how much his stroke had changed him and didn't want to go and see him with my mother. i got mad at her and she said, "i don't need you to come with me. i've been doing this alone for months. i just didn't want you to never see him again." none of his other children had gone to see him; my aunt was too sad and my uncle lives in another province. my mom was the only one going, almost every day. it was one of the only times i've ever seen her cry. i still regret not going every single day in those last months.
"Your grandpa has prostate cancer and we (Mom, dad, grandpa) have known it for 3 years already" my mom told us. As a kid I was always told to stop crying so when the news hit, I felt sad but I played the loving and caring daughter/ sister and broke down when I was alone in my room. I still don't understand why they didn't tell us. They removed my grandpa's prostate and he's still healing up. The Dr's checked and there are no other cancer cells found. I'm still slightly pissed that they told us so late
Prostate Cancer develops very slowly and has a high cure rate. There was no need to put you though three years of angst and uncertainty.
Load More Replies... The most soul crushing thing I've ever heard someone say was "if your watching this that means I've died" and "so long nerds" I was absolutely crushed and cried alot
Not quite as depressing as most of this, but the first thing my mom said to me when I got home from the beach last night was a negative comment on how I looked. Like yeah mom, I've been at the beach all day, and I was having fun. Sorry I wasn't brushing my hair like rapunzel the whole time. Oh, and by the way, until she said that I felt beautiful :( Thank you for listening to my sad TEDTalk
When my now ex-husband told the doctor to unplug me because he didn't need me anymore. I had just given birth, and after 7 blood transfusions was in a coma for 3 days. The doc had called my husband to let him know they couldn't do anything more for me and if they could transfer me elsewhere in the hospital. That was the first and only time I heard and saw a doctor cry. PS Yes you can hear convos when you're in a coma as long as you're "awake".
Weirdly, it's a tie for me. "You should be dead, not your sister" from a relative, five days after that sister said to me, as our last in-person words, "You're only in my wedding so I have even numbers". Whatever self-worth I thought I had? It evaporated.
When I was 11 I had to be told I would never go back to my elementary school with the best chosen family I could ever ask for. Also when I was told my Great grandmother was dead
When I was 17 my mom was mad at me and told me ‘I know those boys aren’t calling to talk to you because you’re pretty!’ I was hurt and started crying.. she asked me ‘if I was crying because she said that I was easy.? I told her ‘No- you said I wasn’t pretty!’ I truly was hurt because I knew I wasn’t easy, so I could care less of what she thought about that-but she pretty much called me ugly. She rolled her eyes and walked away. I was a superficial teen and as an adult I am offended by the entire statement. FYI: My mom got some depression meds shortly after and perked right up.
I stopped reading. All it did was remind me of every vile thing that's ever been said to me. Apparently I have a mental filing cabinet where each and every one has been kept in pristine condition.
Sometimes it's what people *don't* say that can be heartbreaking... I have about a dozen friends scattered across the country whom I don't keep in touch with as much as I used to, but I always made it a point to wish them a happy birthday on each of their respective days. For the last 3 years, the only 2 people who have remembered my birthday are my partner, who lives with me, and my partner's dad. It has just been crushing to realize that all of the people who have had the biggest impact in my life have meant so much more to me than I apparently mean to them. Between that, and having been betrayed in various ways by people who claimed to be good friends, I feel completely broken when it comes to friendship/socializing, and feel as though I will never really open myself to trust anyone except my partner for the rest of my life. I moved to a new city 10 months ago, and have made zero effort to socialize. I am courteous towards my coworkers, but make sure to keep my distance emotionally.
Being told multiple times that I was abusing my aunt because I'd blow up at her for treating me like s**t and denying me the right to express vital parts of myself and other emotional BS
I was 13 years old and at my grandparents house, waiting for my dad to come home on a Saturday morning. My parents were divorced so this was pretty normal but I remember that day being told to sit outside with my brother and the dogs and wait. I remember walking inside and seeing my family in tears sitting with my mother and a cop and being told "Your Daddy isn't coming home" and finding out that he committed s*icide hours prior.
I was at work and my mom thought it was a good time to call me and let me know that the little girl I used to be a caregiver for, and would have still been if the hours hadn't clashed with my husband's job, had passed away at age 10. It would have been on my shift. I was devastated. I knew it would happen, it almost happened twice on my shift before. Every year with her was a miracle as doctors told her family she would make it a week, let alone a year. I loved that sweet girl, she was the first person to know I was getting engaged. It's been over 16 years and I still think of her, my sons know all about her
Nearly 7: my dad told me "mom has ms and we need to protect her and take care of her.." At 14: my mom got a phonecall from the hospital, where my dad was in a coma "your husband died between 8:28 and 8:32". - they had been together for 30 years at that point. It's been almost 17 years now. At 28: my mom said "I have breastcancer" - they got it all, and hopefully it wont come back! Now at 30: my mom told me "my ms has progressed and I might soon end up in a wheelchair" (its okay. We've learned to live with the ms. But it still hurts to see her body fail more and more. Her mind is also not what it used to be). Im so sick and tired of it all. But man I love my mom <3 strengest person I have ever met S
My husband and I were having problems with carrying and giving birth (I have an older daughter from before). I had a stillborn and my mom asked if she could come visit us to be with us in hard time. She ended up showing up with her friend and her friend's daughter. Her daughter had chose to not eat anything all day and she was a bit wobbly on her feet and her mom pulled the emergency cord. The nurses came running in thinking it was me. After the nurses checked her out, my mom said this day was not about my husband, daughter or my still born or even I. She then checked out my stillborn and right away said "IT was a boy!" Then told me I had no reason to grieve and I should be happy. Thanks Mom for comforting us in a dark time.
My best friend died and I decided (being a stupid 8 yr old) that I wouldn't go to her funeral 2 weeks later I got invited to her husband's new wedding
If more people read this Mayo Clinic article on personality disorders, there'd be far less heartbreak in the world: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463
If more people read this article at the Mayo Clinic about personality disorders, there'd me far less heartbreak in the world: https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/personality-disorders/symptoms-causes/syc-20354463
Yesterday marks four years since I recieved the worst news of my life. It was my dad's birthday. I noticed my mom crying, and heard her on the phone, and assumed that it was a distant family member (we're not close with much of my dad's family). After dinner she sat me down on the couch. I remember all of this so clearly. She told me that my close friend had a fatal brain tumor and only had a couple more days to live. I had just seen her a few days before, and she was fine. She was so young, happy, we sat on a trampoline and laughed. I was sobbing. My parents were sobbing. I tried to call the best neuro surgeons in the world, none answered. My mom told me there was nothing anyone could do. It had been undetected for far too long. I wanted to go see her in the hospital, but my mom wouldn't let me. I'm glad she did now. Anna wasn't Anna anymore. She died three days later. I'm 17. She's still 13. I miss her every day.
It seems there are two types of heartbreaking news. One is stuff said by really horrible people, the other is heartbreaking because it is bad news but something that had to be said. I understand the second one, hell, I've had to say/hear that sort of thing, but the first one dumbfounds me. I just hope those that are subjected to thing like that can learn that it isn't really about them, it's about the individuals who said it. I hope they learn that no matter what they look like, who they are, those people would have found just the right weakness and insecurity to prey on to make themselves feel better. The thing is, them feeling better is probably fleeting, as they are bitter and twisted about their own lives and not dealing with their s**t. I hope the people who were hurt like that can see they are worthy of love, they just had terrible examples, but they can move past it and have a great life, unlike their abusers.
I did not finish this collection. I have enough s**t in my life as it is.
