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Mom Forces Son To Apologize For Racist Joke To Chinese Delivery Guy Who Already Had It Rough, Dad Doesn’t Like The Punishment
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Mom Forces Son To Apologize For Racist Joke To Chinese Delivery Guy Who Already Had It Rough, Dad Doesn’t Like The Punishment

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I once stumbled upon an idea by a dad who said that we ought not to view kids as children, but rather as “humans in progress.” And as such, of course they will need to be taught certain things as they grow.

And while there are a slew of methods for teaching kids life lessons, not everyone necessarily agrees on them, especially when said lessons come in the form of punishments.

This 39-year-old mother of two shared a story of how she turned her son’s incredibly racist anecdote into a serious life lesson. Unfortunately, the dad was not too supportive of the punishment, as it “didn’t fit the crime,” prompting a Reddit post for the internet to decide who was wrong here.

More info: Reddit

While parenting is a worthwhile experience, it does come with its challenges, like when you have to teach your kids hard social life lessons

Mom Forces Son To Apologize For Racist Joke To Chinese Delivery Guy Who Already Had It Rough, Dad Doesn’t Like The Punishment

Image credits: byronv2

So, Reddit user u/SnooPaintings9288 approached the r/AmITheA-Hole community with a short story of how she punished her son for an insensitive racist joke and how the dad ended up getting into an argument with her for said punishment.

But, let’s rewind. The family has a cat that loves having a go at their take-out food. It just so happened that they ordered some Chinese food and the courier had just arrived. This was the cue for the daughter to pick up the cat and carry it upstairs.

This mother went to Reddit to figure out if she was harsh with her punishment of her son who said a racist joke

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As she was doing so, the Reddit user, i.e. the mother, was at the door, accepting the order. During that time, the 13-year-old son decided to loudly say “make sure [to] hide the cat from the Chinese guy.” Both mom and the courier heard it very clearly, and she saw just how upset the courier got because of it.

One apology later, the mom stormed over to the son, who refused to accept that his joke was extremely insensitive towards the courier. She ended up forcing him to do some atoning in the form of a sincere apology to the delivery guy, and to write a one-page paper on Chinese culture as well as how jokes like his perpetuate racism.

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The next day, she took him to the restaurant and had him read the apology. The courier appreciated the gesture and shared some stories of what he goes through as a courier on a daily basis.

Well, later that night, mom and dad got into an argument regarding the punishment. In his eyes, it seemed too much as it was hella embarrassing for the son and that it was “just a joke,” making the mom think she may have overreacted. Hence the post on Reddit.

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Image credits: u/SnooPaintings9288

However, the internet was not having any of it—even if it was a joke, comments like that still humiliate and demean not just one person, but an entire group of people. People agreed that the punishment did in fact fit the crime, and should have been extended to the dad too, which some speculated is the reason the son said something like that in the first place.

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In any case, the story got quite a bit of attention, garnering nearly 53,000 user upvotes and getting over 200 Reddit awards with 2,600 people voicing their opinion on the matter.

People online showed support, not only cause they thought the punishment fit the crime, but also because it taught a lesson

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Mom Forces Son To Apologize For Racist Joke To Chinese Delivery Guy Who Already Had It Rough, Dad Doesn’t Like The Punishment

Mom Forces Son To Apologize For Racist Joke To Chinese Delivery Guy Who Already Had It Rough, Dad Doesn’t Like The Punishment

You can read through the entire post as well as all 2,600 comments if you’re that kind of a person here. But before you go, tell us your thoughts and what you would have done in the comment section below!

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rdougherty666 avatar
Ryan-James O'Driscoll
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If "it's just a joke" then why didn't the driver find it funny. Racists always try to excuse themselves with that wafer thin justification.

81194isdonewithyourcrap avatar
A.R Is Confused
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s like I always say. It’s not a joke unless the person finds it funny. (sexist jokes, racist jokes, homophobic jokes etc.)

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hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Just a joke", well I guess we get where the son learned it. I'm against "shaming" children, but apologizing for wrong doing is teaching them and the son got to hear from the person about their perspective.

ckane01 avatar
steffen_rehm avatar
Steffen Rehm
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Racism is always learned, so you have to break it as soon as possible, or it will stick maybe forever in its head. (i wrote maybe because, some people learn later one, but its more likely, the don't. )

luannleonardi avatar
Bear42212
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

It wasn't racism he was stating a fact. Chinese people in certain parts of China do eat cats and dogs.

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veritech-pilot avatar
onitsuka
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, and the husband enables the racism, so he needs a lesson as well. Maybe ask him what jokes are funny at the expense of an entire race. F**k that.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mouth filters don't work well on young teens. All the more reason to train him to think before he speaks - and then think again. Kid will remember this - which is the POINT of punishments!

alisa-fender avatar
Honu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. And I think this punishment was appropriately structured to address his mouth filter problem and the thinking behind what he said. Sure, you can learn to not say racist things out loud. However, he also needs to learn some basic empathy, to look at people as individuals worthy of dignity and respect, and to question stereotypes and generalizations he encounters about other cultures. Learning to not act racist is one thing. Learning to not be racist is another.

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asteidl15 avatar
lazy panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well it's blatantly obvious where the son gets his behavior from.

dontlook avatar
Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got worse news for you than worrying about your punishment being too harsh. Your husband is going to teach your son that he is superior and to be racist. And there is no way to undo that unless you and he agree together that racism is taught (particularly at home) and you and he are going to have to put on a united front to stop it.

itsjustme223 avatar
Shane S
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought the excess punishment was going to be the essay. I’m shocked the dad thought the in-person apology was too far. These actions absolutely warranted an apology. However, writing the essay, and reading the apology letter may be a bit much. You’re kinda making the delivery guy do some of the parenting. Personally, I have social anxiety. I don’t want to stand there awkwardly while some random kid reads me a letter and essay. Say you’re sorry and mean it, and let’s move on. However, action needed to be taken regardless.

sugarducky avatar
Vivian Ashe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get your point about the social anxiety. For a lot of people it would have been extremely uncomfortable to stand there and listen to some kid's reluctant, forced apology and accept it with grace. But you really have to give the guy credit for engaging with the kid. He obviously realized it was an opportunity to maybe make a difference.

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benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good on you mama!! Your husband needs to be served a harsh lesson for condoning this behavior even if it is covert. Also if you think there is friend influence, don't tell the kid he can't be friends with this person, just forbid this friend from the house or your son going over to his house. Maybe talk with this kids folks, if the folks are total d***s then evaluate a full ban. Ooh let the kids school know they need to do more lessons on tolerance, racism, and that business.

shaynameidela avatar
Dorothy Parker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So called jokes that I used to find funny are now mortifying. Mom is NTA.

samlomb avatar
Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any time someone says "its just a joke" when they say something racist, misogynist, homophobic ect means THEY are the asshole and are now defensive at being called on it

kanrrykang avatar
KK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am Chinese. I volunteer my time to listen to people vent anonymously. During the pandemic, I've received some racist comments online just for being who I am and I have been stereotyped in real life, too. The husband here needs a lesson, too.

jppennington avatar
JayWantsACat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It's just a joke". So, what's the joke then? Oh, it's just a racist asshole comment?

sabrinapandoo avatar
Nina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're an amazing mother. Well done. Your husband should learn from you. And your son will never forget this.

bryguy369 avatar
bryguy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ever notice every shitty human on earth always says "its just a joke!" when people get upset over a stupid comment? If something is a joke we are all going to find it funny. Insulting culture, ethnicity, physical appearance, mental illness etc is not a joke, its not funny to anyone, its stupid and you sound like an idiot. End rant...

blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My only issue is 'Forced... to write an sincere apology', It's not sincere if it's forced. Also making him read it aloud will only breed contempt if he hasn't understood/learnt from the mistake. The 2 papers were a good idea, I going to assume [the mum] read them to make sure the message got across.

debrinablackmoon avatar
perspgold avatar
Persp Gold
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its ok to punish children. It actually might do them good. Can we stop questioning this

h125429 avatar
Carmen Sandiego
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

73988 avatar
⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an Asian person who deals with these kinds of "jokes" on the regular, the mom did exactly the right thing.

dennise-sommer avatar
WholesomeArmyweeb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“It’s just a joke” doesn’t make it acceptable. What if that same person mocked your culture or made racist comments, hm? Just bc it is a “joke”does NOT justify nor condone it, and it’s probably the fathers fault that the child made the comment in the first place

liz-h-gregory avatar
Nicely
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I'd just turned five, I stole a bag of chocolate buttons from a shop on the way home from school. I thought I was so clever. When my mum found out, which she did fairly quickly because five year olds are dumb, she marched me straight back to the shop to apologise. But it wasn't open so she made me confess and apologise in a different shop! Apparently owned by the same person, although I'd not realised at the time. Anyway, that was distressingly close to 40 years ago and is still utterly burned in my memory, it was a very effective lesson.

dmarsh avatar
Daniel Marsh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Creative, just and reparative punishment. A+ for parenting from me. Too harsh? How?

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that the boy waited until the delivery guy was giving them their food to say that makes a huge difference, as it shows he wanted to see the reaction; an attitude that should be nipped in the bud ASAP! It stopped being a joke when the Chinese delivery guy heard what the kid said & his feelings were deeply hurt. The father is definitely in the wrong about that. Racism is NEVER something that should be rubbed in people’s faces! 🤨🙅‍♀️

lchaney36 avatar
Linny H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom did exactly the right thing. Hope her son truly learned the lesson.

katrinaantypova avatar
ʕ º ᴥ ºʔ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In an online class someone made a similar comment, but they just don't understand how this just fuels stereotypes and need to be told, just like she did to her son.

itzel-ocampo avatar
Izzy_
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bravo!! This, people, is called parenting. More parents should actually try it sometimes.

cbcassidy69 avatar
Colleen Cassidy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If just a joke he would have no problem explaining to the driver why it is soooooooo funny

robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago

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Because the cat goes nuts. As explained. It’s mom that has the issue.

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starmoishe avatar
Monica Sargent
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm relieve to know that there are other parents out there that are willing to teach their children, even when it's tough.

zovjraarme avatar
zovjraar me
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

perfect punishment. learning about the culture he insulted, learning why and how racism is propagated, and having to apologize in person. this is exactly how it should be done.

seidelme avatar
Michael Se
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people who say "it's just a joke" never seem to be able to take the joke when they are the punchline.

cmuraspunk avatar
Alphabet Soupy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apologizing after a racist comment is embarrassing??? Hello, toxic masculinity! You’re gonna be a bitter old fart for the rest of your cholesterol-laden life. Good luck with the lifelong rage! Ughhhhh

danfarish avatar
Dan Farish
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watched a 1967 documentary last night. 3 Bible salesmen cracking racist jokes. One was trying to hard sell a Spanish American woman and telling her how fiery tempered the Spanish women are, in an effort to bond with her and make the sale. His way of saying I understand your culture. My, how times have changed. Most people just think racist these days, but know to keep their mouths shut. Most.

emilydixon avatar
Emiri-chan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let me add in my voice as a half Chinese person. I don't have much to add. But in my opinion, a simple sincere apology letter should be enough.

ceresiscool avatar
Katey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think her punishment was perfect. My mom had similar punishments, not for the same scenario I was too afraid of hurting people's feelings to make such remarks, but because I took terrible care of my diabetes as a child. I more than once had to write papers on the consequences of poor care with my disease and read it to my dad, or I'd have bto he the one to tell him my latest a1c and answer his questions on why I didn't take care of myself (angsty teen who was a daddy's girl, it was the only thing that got a reaction beyond "whatever, I don't care"). The idea is reflection and education on just what was done was wrong. She didn't beat him for his insensitive and terrible remark, she made him reflect on it through the assignment, and take accountability by making him read it to the poor man that had to endure the comment.

thepinkrobot avatar
thepinkrobot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jokes should punch up not down. And racism is never excusable. That husband tho ew

josephgeorgiadis avatar
Joseph Georgiadis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lost all meaning of a joke: A joke will always "offend" someone. Doesn't mean it's racist/sexist/what ever. It's supposed to be funny. Stereotypes support the essence of a joke: You couldn't have blonde jokes without the stereotype. Blondes aren't stupid, of cource, I guess their stupidity levels are the same as any other hair color. BUT: Blondes trying to fit (just) the image of a sex bomb are generally thought to be stupid enough for a stereotype. And actuall, that's where the blonde jokes began. Back in the 80s. Don't claim that some of today's celebrities don't fall into that category...

abdallah06apple avatar
Blue Cicada
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand the mother's intent with requiring the child to do research and write two papers. However, as a high school teacher who works with struggling students, I am always torn about assigning research or writing as punishment. Writing the apology is the correct thing to do, to balance for his unacceptable comments. Perhaps requiring research and a discussion (a written paper if the child prefers), could be followed with a reward for completing the assignment. He's doing the research because of his poor comment, It is opportunity for him to learn and grow, not a punishment for him. The reward for his expanding his knowledge, and proving that he has expanded it, is an ice cream sundae, a new game, something notable but not extremely expensive.

abdallah06apple avatar
Blue Cicada
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% support the handwritten (or typed) apology. The child was not shamed, as he was not forced to air his misdeeds in public in front of strangers, people who knew nothing of his egregious behavior. He was literally required to apologize to the actual person who he offended. Which is what grown-ups do. Apologizing is what people with high moral standards do. At least one religion, Judaism, has an entire day dedicated to people apologizing to those who they have wronged the previous year.

thefrenchiestfry avatar
The Frenchiest Fry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless the son was saying to hide the cat because the cat tries to eat the food, punishment absolutely fits.

c_mayo_1 avatar
RatherLoopy
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a teenager and before I was old enough to drive, I had a bad habit of sneaking out at night to hunt for cars I could take joyriding. I never trashed them and usually returned them... I just loved driving! Well, I got caught once and it turned out the car belonged to a barber in a nearby shop... which is exactly where my mom took me for a haircut a few days later, and where I took a lot of well-deserved crap from the barber and his associate barbers. That was a super humiliating experience and I don't think I learned any lesson beyond "don't get caught again," but I still have a ton of respect for what my mom tried to do for me that time.

sugarducky avatar
Vivian Ashe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have also not allowed the son to share in any of the Chinese food. I'm sure they probably had some nice American cold cereal in the pantry. And I'd be concerned about what kind of influence the father is, and what kind of punishment he thought would "fit the crime."

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This mom is definitely NTA. The essay was a bit much, but not the apology. Her son owed that delivery driver an apology. Comments about someone's race or culture is not and never will be a joke. According to the mother, the driver didn't fall over laughing so apparently they didn't find the joke funny.

debrinablackmoon avatar
debrina blackmoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES-OP is DEFINITELY NTA, dad/son both RACIST ASSHOLES! Poor delivery man!!!

d_pitbull avatar
D. Pitbull
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The dad sounds like a 'real gem' of a human. The commenter who noted that this is how systemic racism perpetuates is exactly right. Humans... we're very complex. Everything is context. Do I say dumb sh** that sounds super racist about East Asians (I am Chinese, btw, put the rocks down.)? Yeah, sure I do... in the context of saying it only with people who are my close friends who know me VERY WELL and thus know I'm just being a sarcastic dork when I'm saying it and that it's more me being ironic about certain stereotypes... not that I or they think it's a "truth". Wanna bet the dad would get into a frothing rage if you said some stereotype-myth joke about his ethnic background?

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

defintely NTA. It may well have helped the son to get the perspective of the delivery guy. That is called empathy, not the worst of traits.

abualhaijamohammad199 avatar
Jared West
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of that Alexandre Bissonnette guy. He committed terrorism, yet, they reduced his sentence because it was "too harsh".

robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

A young teenager saying something stupid reminds you of someone who killed 6 people? Are you stupid?

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sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ughhhhhhhh! So not only is your son a racist you have a sexist husband with a “it was just a joke” mentality. First off your son learned it somewhere, people aren’t born racist and I’m willing to bet your husband is the teacher. I’m not saying get a divorce, but you should certainly open your eyes and question what kind of person your husband is and turning your son into. Definitely NTA.

blbrightonoswin_1 avatar
Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Color and Race. Some people don't have the the sanity to ignore it! Mum did the right thing better than I would have got do you know how much a wooden spoon hurts. Are there any racist jokes against whites?

sistence avatar
Lenka Smetanová
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'am against the racism in any way... but.. sometimes we should be more.... well... accepting. I don't know what was there... Was it racist? Was is stereotype or it was really just a joke?.... I mean... we had a tv commercial spot here in Czech Republic about a woman, who came to the chinese restaurant with her pug... and told them "Take care of my Bobyka."... and then while later the chef came there with the food, and proudly said "Bobyka!".... I mean, yeah! its Stereotype... but... it's just a joke! I mean, you need to see the bigger picture. Do I joking about cat meat in my food from vietnameese restaurant? Well... sometimes, yeah... Do I REALLY mean it? NO! I just joking... Sometimes you just need to difference between stupid joke and racism

johnlm1981 avatar
John Montgomery
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like the kid didn't realize he was making a racist comment. From the text he sounded like he was worried the cat would eat the food. However, I don't think the punishment was too severe. At the very least the apology isn't. It's odd hearing about someone having to write when outside of a school setting, but it's not a bad punishment either.

ng avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually thought it was funny too, but it's not nice to upset the driver or Chinese people. Humour can be offensive but it shouldn't be abusive. The mum got it right.

chloe_emch avatar
Cece V
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That public apology is dumb and is not necessary. That is really something disproportionate for a bad joke. Yes it's a bad one and it's ok to apologize. But because a stupid teenager makes a stupid joke doesn't mean he's a terrible hateful racist person. Woke culture is so hypocritical anyway. My American friends make a lot of jokes about Italian people because I am Italian and some of them involve mafia and stuff but I find them hilarious and I'm never offended because I know it doesn't come from hate.

robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/30/harrowing-footage-shows-dog-yelping-barbecued-alive-street-market-12151916/

attielkins avatar
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHY IS THIS DOWNVOTED?!? YOU ARE SENDING A GOOD MESSAGE, and people think it’s racist?!? Please use an upvote bot! This needs to be heard, save the dogs!

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robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Racist? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7951691/Horrific-footage-yelping-dog-barbecued-alive-Chinese-market-shared-activists.html

lou_delue avatar
Zenozenobee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes racist, you read correctly, when you decide that a whole people, including diaspora, is *name a stereotype* based on a few you read about/met, this is racist.

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brettconnor avatar
Brett Connor
Community Member
2 years ago

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Most drivers go along with the joke. They tell the kids ( we only eat kids, dogs, bats,. dolphins, etc..)

patrickspringer avatar
patrick springer
Community Member
2 years ago

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He didn't find the "joke" funny because in many parts of the world Asian's do eat cats. I feel sorry for the cats, not the driver.

debrinablackmoon avatar
debrina blackmoon
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, I hope you don't have kids or never will. I feel sorry for anyone who knows you if they aren't fucktard shitpies as well, you tragic accident waste of atoms. Same goes for others like you.

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suzannehaigh avatar
Suzanne Haigh
Community Member
2 years ago

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I find it so sad that this punishment had to happen. We have society in such a state that if you are not watching every simple word you speak you are classed as racist. A while ago I was fed up with being told "that is not acceptable", so I asked a black lady what I should say so I did not cause offence, she replied "XX, I am black and PROUD to be black" So how is saying she was black could be regarded by others to be racist if a white person said it? I am not racist and was brought up to treat everyone the same but these days that gets you into endless trouble.

david_cartwright avatar
David Cartwright
Community Member
2 years ago

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We all know by now that it is only social acceptable to be racist towards whites. Providing they are men and straight and not disabled.

blazwings avatar
Blazwing S
Community Member
2 years ago

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well hey the mom thinks she has the right to stomp on her son's rights to free speech. so no she was too harsh on him. she just seeded resentment and probably got a CYS case because you know kids can sue even divorce their parents. The kid was fine, the chineses guy already heard it all. Next time make the punishment fit the crime.

katherine23lai avatar
BakuDeku Shipper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Btw, let's test that 'been through it all' theory of yours. Let's say you've been shot indiscriminately, let's say, 5 times before. Well *grabs gun, you've already been through it all so why not shoot you once more? Tell me if that sounds f*****g logical

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quotedprawn7490 avatar
QuotedPrawn7490
Community Member
2 years ago

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I don't give a s**t if you say a crude, insensitive or racist joke, but there are limits. The kid meant it in a joking way, but if the driver didn't like it, then there's something no wrong with the joke. If others find it funny and aren't offended, then it's fine

attielkins avatar
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Community Member
2 years ago

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Well, I mean even tho it was racist, some Chinese do eat cats and I can see if he was genuinely scared about his cat getting eaten. I am not on the sons side, and please don’t spam downvotes on this comment, I want to hear your opinions, just in the replies.

attielkins avatar
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And great. People spammed downvotes. How surprising. Please, If you want to get your message across, don’t demean others opinions and just talk with them! ☺️

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Gabriela Lippai
Community Member
2 years ago

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Why is it that everybody thinks punishing children is great parenting? That the best way to teach somebody respect is by not respecting, but objectifying him? Was the mother around the last 13 years of the life of her son? Then where's her influence? Is this the first time, he said something like this? Didn't she build a respectful connection with him the last years where she could talk with him about the situation and he would understand it - and sincerely apologize?

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Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/06/13/chinese-man-caught-with-500-imprisoned-cats-destined-for-restaurants/

postvoorly avatar
hobbitly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just cause its normal to eat cats in some cultures, doesn't mean its a funny joke.

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Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago

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Question: do Chinese people eat cats and dogs and pangols...? I’m all for the mother making the kid research China and write a paper about it, but let’s remember the places in China where they cook dogs alive.

stevenlu_1 avatar
Steven Lu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, there are people having pigs as pets, yet you put bacon in your mouth. HOW DARE YOU!!! Btw, just like the whole pork industry, there are dogs raised to be consumed as food in China, South Korea and some other parts of Asia. But 99.99% of Chinese don't eat dog meat. Please do some research before commenting, thanks.

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StrawberryParfait
Community Member
2 years ago

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This is why we don't marry low value men, ladies. They create low-value sons by modelling low-value behaviour. Appropriate punishment for the crime, but the kid doesn't stand a chance having an asshat for a father like this.

robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So according to you women are too weak and inconsequential to have any input into their children? How incredibly sexist of you. Most of the strongest parents I know are mothers.

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2BX
Community Member
2 years ago

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This seems more like a Mom-plea to be validated on her great parenting and being woke about racism. Child discipline is not forum topic.

e-jimenez01 avatar
Cuervo
Community Member
2 years ago

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Really? Everyone is too sensitive now a days. Life is too short.

ivanilic avatar
Ivan Ilic
Community Member
2 years ago

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Good mother.In Serbia I would be beaten very good,and have to apologize too.

viviane_katz avatar
Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the apology, but not the beating. I understand things were different when and where you grew up. I would appreciate the parent making the child apologize if the child did me wrong. If someone beat their child, I would feel bad for the child and be upset at the parent.

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Sam Kunz
Community Member
2 years ago

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What an overreaction. Yes say it's wrong. Acting like a Crusader to save all mankind? Those people laughed at your son and you and made fun of you after you left. Just like they always make fun of white people. I used to work delivery for a Chinese carryout. They bashed all their white customers daily.

spazmops19 avatar
Logic and Reason
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hard to imagine a shittier take you could have gone away with. “B-but, they mocked your son behind your back 🥺” The kid said something racist and was forced to apologize and gain adequate perspective on why that’s wrong. Now you should do the same, since taking your negative experience with a race and assuming that everyone of that race expresses that negative behavior is, in fact, racist.

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago

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This is a stereotype and might be hurtful, but it's not racism. He doesn't think he's better than Chinese people, does he? It's the same as people making jokes about Dutch people wearing wooden shoes, only having windmills, tulips and weed and being cheap. Or Belgian people being stupid. Stop confusing those terms.

beth_landers avatar
Beth L
Community Member
2 years ago

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Mom heroically saves family's ability to order Chinese delivery without worrying about disgruntled driver messing with That Address's food. (Honestly, most drivers probably wouldn't mess with someone's food, but there is always that *thought* that they might, which might actually be worse.)

mintyminameow avatar
Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
2 years ago

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Obvious answer, boring story. Your son is a shít head. The end. I’m more disturbed at the 39 year old having an almost grown child lol. Fûuuuuck that.

asteidl15 avatar
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Lynn Colombo
Community Member
2 years ago

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Unfortunately there's truth to what the kid said. When I lived in Southern California there was a city where people's cats would disappear. This was years ago but it in fact happened.

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Tristan Kenyon
Community Member
2 years ago

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This is dumb. Asians do eat cat and dog, so what's wrong with saying it? Same as an Asian saying "Get the chicken away before dumb American eats it.." sooo dumb

rdougherty666 avatar
Ryan-James O'Driscoll
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If "it's just a joke" then why didn't the driver find it funny. Racists always try to excuse themselves with that wafer thin justification.

81194isdonewithyourcrap avatar
A.R Is Confused
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It’s like I always say. It’s not a joke unless the person finds it funny. (sexist jokes, racist jokes, homophobic jokes etc.)

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Stille20
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Just a joke", well I guess we get where the son learned it. I'm against "shaming" children, but apologizing for wrong doing is teaching them and the son got to hear from the person about their perspective.

ckane01 avatar
steffen_rehm avatar
Steffen Rehm
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Racism is always learned, so you have to break it as soon as possible, or it will stick maybe forever in its head. (i wrote maybe because, some people learn later one, but its more likely, the don't. )

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Bear42212
Community Member
2 years ago

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It wasn't racism he was stating a fact. Chinese people in certain parts of China do eat cats and dogs.

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onitsuka
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, and the husband enables the racism, so he needs a lesson as well. Maybe ask him what jokes are funny at the expense of an entire race. F**k that.

bcgrote avatar
Brandy Grote
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mouth filters don't work well on young teens. All the more reason to train him to think before he speaks - and then think again. Kid will remember this - which is the POINT of punishments!

alisa-fender avatar
Honu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes. And I think this punishment was appropriately structured to address his mouth filter problem and the thinking behind what he said. Sure, you can learn to not say racist things out loud. However, he also needs to learn some basic empathy, to look at people as individuals worthy of dignity and respect, and to question stereotypes and generalizations he encounters about other cultures. Learning to not act racist is one thing. Learning to not be racist is another.

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asteidl15 avatar
lazy panda
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well it's blatantly obvious where the son gets his behavior from.

dontlook avatar
Don't Look
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I got worse news for you than worrying about your punishment being too harsh. Your husband is going to teach your son that he is superior and to be racist. And there is no way to undo that unless you and he agree together that racism is taught (particularly at home) and you and he are going to have to put on a united front to stop it.

itsjustme223 avatar
Shane S
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought the excess punishment was going to be the essay. I’m shocked the dad thought the in-person apology was too far. These actions absolutely warranted an apology. However, writing the essay, and reading the apology letter may be a bit much. You’re kinda making the delivery guy do some of the parenting. Personally, I have social anxiety. I don’t want to stand there awkwardly while some random kid reads me a letter and essay. Say you’re sorry and mean it, and let’s move on. However, action needed to be taken regardless.

sugarducky avatar
Vivian Ashe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I get your point about the social anxiety. For a lot of people it would have been extremely uncomfortable to stand there and listen to some kid's reluctant, forced apology and accept it with grace. But you really have to give the guy credit for engaging with the kid. He obviously realized it was an opportunity to maybe make a difference.

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benicia_99 avatar
Azure Adams
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good on you mama!! Your husband needs to be served a harsh lesson for condoning this behavior even if it is covert. Also if you think there is friend influence, don't tell the kid he can't be friends with this person, just forbid this friend from the house or your son going over to his house. Maybe talk with this kids folks, if the folks are total d***s then evaluate a full ban. Ooh let the kids school know they need to do more lessons on tolerance, racism, and that business.

shaynameidela avatar
Dorothy Parker
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So called jokes that I used to find funny are now mortifying. Mom is NTA.

samlomb avatar
Samantha Lomb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Any time someone says "its just a joke" when they say something racist, misogynist, homophobic ect means THEY are the asshole and are now defensive at being called on it

kanrrykang avatar
KK
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am Chinese. I volunteer my time to listen to people vent anonymously. During the pandemic, I've received some racist comments online just for being who I am and I have been stereotyped in real life, too. The husband here needs a lesson, too.

jppennington avatar
JayWantsACat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"It's just a joke". So, what's the joke then? Oh, it's just a racist asshole comment?

sabrinapandoo avatar
Nina
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You're an amazing mother. Well done. Your husband should learn from you. And your son will never forget this.

bryguy369 avatar
bryguy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ever notice every shitty human on earth always says "its just a joke!" when people get upset over a stupid comment? If something is a joke we are all going to find it funny. Insulting culture, ethnicity, physical appearance, mental illness etc is not a joke, its not funny to anyone, its stupid and you sound like an idiot. End rant...

blue1steven avatar
Donkey boi
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My only issue is 'Forced... to write an sincere apology', It's not sincere if it's forced. Also making him read it aloud will only breed contempt if he hasn't understood/learnt from the mistake. The 2 papers were a good idea, I going to assume [the mum] read them to make sure the message got across.

debrinablackmoon avatar
perspgold avatar
Persp Gold
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Its ok to punish children. It actually might do them good. Can we stop questioning this

h125429 avatar
Carmen Sandiego
Community Member
2 years ago

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73988 avatar
⚞ Katniss Everdeen ⚟
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an Asian person who deals with these kinds of "jokes" on the regular, the mom did exactly the right thing.

dennise-sommer avatar
WholesomeArmyweeb
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“It’s just a joke” doesn’t make it acceptable. What if that same person mocked your culture or made racist comments, hm? Just bc it is a “joke”does NOT justify nor condone it, and it’s probably the fathers fault that the child made the comment in the first place

liz-h-gregory avatar
Nicely
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I'd just turned five, I stole a bag of chocolate buttons from a shop on the way home from school. I thought I was so clever. When my mum found out, which she did fairly quickly because five year olds are dumb, she marched me straight back to the shop to apologise. But it wasn't open so she made me confess and apologise in a different shop! Apparently owned by the same person, although I'd not realised at the time. Anyway, that was distressingly close to 40 years ago and is still utterly burned in my memory, it was a very effective lesson.

dmarsh avatar
Daniel Marsh
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Creative, just and reparative punishment. A+ for parenting from me. Too harsh? How?

arianahale avatar
AspieGirl88
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The fact that the boy waited until the delivery guy was giving them their food to say that makes a huge difference, as it shows he wanted to see the reaction; an attitude that should be nipped in the bud ASAP! It stopped being a joke when the Chinese delivery guy heard what the kid said & his feelings were deeply hurt. The father is definitely in the wrong about that. Racism is NEVER something that should be rubbed in people’s faces! 🤨🙅‍♀️

lchaney36 avatar
Linny H
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Mom did exactly the right thing. Hope her son truly learned the lesson.

katrinaantypova avatar
ʕ º ᴥ ºʔ
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In an online class someone made a similar comment, but they just don't understand how this just fuels stereotypes and need to be told, just like she did to her son.

itzel-ocampo avatar
Izzy_
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Bravo!! This, people, is called parenting. More parents should actually try it sometimes.

cbcassidy69 avatar
Colleen Cassidy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If just a joke he would have no problem explaining to the driver why it is soooooooo funny

robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago

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Because the cat goes nuts. As explained. It’s mom that has the issue.

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starmoishe avatar
Monica Sargent
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm relieve to know that there are other parents out there that are willing to teach their children, even when it's tough.

zovjraarme avatar
zovjraar me
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

perfect punishment. learning about the culture he insulted, learning why and how racism is propagated, and having to apologize in person. this is exactly how it should be done.

seidelme avatar
Michael Se
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people who say "it's just a joke" never seem to be able to take the joke when they are the punchline.

cmuraspunk avatar
Alphabet Soupy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apologizing after a racist comment is embarrassing??? Hello, toxic masculinity! You’re gonna be a bitter old fart for the rest of your cholesterol-laden life. Good luck with the lifelong rage! Ughhhhh

danfarish avatar
Dan Farish
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Watched a 1967 documentary last night. 3 Bible salesmen cracking racist jokes. One was trying to hard sell a Spanish American woman and telling her how fiery tempered the Spanish women are, in an effort to bond with her and make the sale. His way of saying I understand your culture. My, how times have changed. Most people just think racist these days, but know to keep their mouths shut. Most.

emilydixon avatar
Emiri-chan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Let me add in my voice as a half Chinese person. I don't have much to add. But in my opinion, a simple sincere apology letter should be enough.

ceresiscool avatar
Katey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think her punishment was perfect. My mom had similar punishments, not for the same scenario I was too afraid of hurting people's feelings to make such remarks, but because I took terrible care of my diabetes as a child. I more than once had to write papers on the consequences of poor care with my disease and read it to my dad, or I'd have bto he the one to tell him my latest a1c and answer his questions on why I didn't take care of myself (angsty teen who was a daddy's girl, it was the only thing that got a reaction beyond "whatever, I don't care"). The idea is reflection and education on just what was done was wrong. She didn't beat him for his insensitive and terrible remark, she made him reflect on it through the assignment, and take accountability by making him read it to the poor man that had to endure the comment.

thepinkrobot avatar
thepinkrobot
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Jokes should punch up not down. And racism is never excusable. That husband tho ew

josephgeorgiadis avatar
Joseph Georgiadis
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lost all meaning of a joke: A joke will always "offend" someone. Doesn't mean it's racist/sexist/what ever. It's supposed to be funny. Stereotypes support the essence of a joke: You couldn't have blonde jokes without the stereotype. Blondes aren't stupid, of cource, I guess their stupidity levels are the same as any other hair color. BUT: Blondes trying to fit (just) the image of a sex bomb are generally thought to be stupid enough for a stereotype. And actuall, that's where the blonde jokes began. Back in the 80s. Don't claim that some of today's celebrities don't fall into that category...

abdallah06apple avatar
Blue Cicada
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand the mother's intent with requiring the child to do research and write two papers. However, as a high school teacher who works with struggling students, I am always torn about assigning research or writing as punishment. Writing the apology is the correct thing to do, to balance for his unacceptable comments. Perhaps requiring research and a discussion (a written paper if the child prefers), could be followed with a reward for completing the assignment. He's doing the research because of his poor comment, It is opportunity for him to learn and grow, not a punishment for him. The reward for his expanding his knowledge, and proving that he has expanded it, is an ice cream sundae, a new game, something notable but not extremely expensive.

abdallah06apple avatar
Blue Cicada
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

100% support the handwritten (or typed) apology. The child was not shamed, as he was not forced to air his misdeeds in public in front of strangers, people who knew nothing of his egregious behavior. He was literally required to apologize to the actual person who he offended. Which is what grown-ups do. Apologizing is what people with high moral standards do. At least one religion, Judaism, has an entire day dedicated to people apologizing to those who they have wronged the previous year.

thefrenchiestfry avatar
The Frenchiest Fry
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Unless the son was saying to hide the cat because the cat tries to eat the food, punishment absolutely fits.

c_mayo_1 avatar
RatherLoopy
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When I was a teenager and before I was old enough to drive, I had a bad habit of sneaking out at night to hunt for cars I could take joyriding. I never trashed them and usually returned them... I just loved driving! Well, I got caught once and it turned out the car belonged to a barber in a nearby shop... which is exactly where my mom took me for a haircut a few days later, and where I took a lot of well-deserved crap from the barber and his associate barbers. That was a super humiliating experience and I don't think I learned any lesson beyond "don't get caught again," but I still have a ton of respect for what my mom tried to do for me that time.

sugarducky avatar
Vivian Ashe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would have also not allowed the son to share in any of the Chinese food. I'm sure they probably had some nice American cold cereal in the pantry. And I'd be concerned about what kind of influence the father is, and what kind of punishment he thought would "fit the crime."

deannawoods avatar
deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This mom is definitely NTA. The essay was a bit much, but not the apology. Her son owed that delivery driver an apology. Comments about someone's race or culture is not and never will be a joke. According to the mother, the driver didn't fall over laughing so apparently they didn't find the joke funny.

debrinablackmoon avatar
debrina blackmoon
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES-OP is DEFINITELY NTA, dad/son both RACIST ASSHOLES! Poor delivery man!!!

d_pitbull avatar
D. Pitbull
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The dad sounds like a 'real gem' of a human. The commenter who noted that this is how systemic racism perpetuates is exactly right. Humans... we're very complex. Everything is context. Do I say dumb sh** that sounds super racist about East Asians (I am Chinese, btw, put the rocks down.)? Yeah, sure I do... in the context of saying it only with people who are my close friends who know me VERY WELL and thus know I'm just being a sarcastic dork when I'm saying it and that it's more me being ironic about certain stereotypes... not that I or they think it's a "truth". Wanna bet the dad would get into a frothing rage if you said some stereotype-myth joke about his ethnic background?

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

defintely NTA. It may well have helped the son to get the perspective of the delivery guy. That is called empathy, not the worst of traits.

abualhaijamohammad199 avatar
Jared West
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Reminds me of that Alexandre Bissonnette guy. He committed terrorism, yet, they reduced his sentence because it was "too harsh".

robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago

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A young teenager saying something stupid reminds you of someone who killed 6 people? Are you stupid?

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sweetangelce04 avatar
CatWoman312
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ughhhhhhhh! So not only is your son a racist you have a sexist husband with a “it was just a joke” mentality. First off your son learned it somewhere, people aren’t born racist and I’m willing to bet your husband is the teacher. I’m not saying get a divorce, but you should certainly open your eyes and question what kind of person your husband is and turning your son into. Definitely NTA.

blbrightonoswin_1 avatar
Brian Bennett
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Color and Race. Some people don't have the the sanity to ignore it! Mum did the right thing better than I would have got do you know how much a wooden spoon hurts. Are there any racist jokes against whites?

sistence avatar
Lenka Smetanová
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'am against the racism in any way... but.. sometimes we should be more.... well... accepting. I don't know what was there... Was it racist? Was is stereotype or it was really just a joke?.... I mean... we had a tv commercial spot here in Czech Republic about a woman, who came to the chinese restaurant with her pug... and told them "Take care of my Bobyka."... and then while later the chef came there with the food, and proudly said "Bobyka!".... I mean, yeah! its Stereotype... but... it's just a joke! I mean, you need to see the bigger picture. Do I joking about cat meat in my food from vietnameese restaurant? Well... sometimes, yeah... Do I REALLY mean it? NO! I just joking... Sometimes you just need to difference between stupid joke and racism

johnlm1981 avatar
John Montgomery
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It sounds like the kid didn't realize he was making a racist comment. From the text he sounded like he was worried the cat would eat the food. However, I don't think the punishment was too severe. At the very least the apology isn't. It's odd hearing about someone having to write when outside of a school setting, but it's not a bad punishment either.

ng avatar
N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I actually thought it was funny too, but it's not nice to upset the driver or Chinese people. Humour can be offensive but it shouldn't be abusive. The mum got it right.

chloe_emch avatar
Cece V
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That public apology is dumb and is not necessary. That is really something disproportionate for a bad joke. Yes it's a bad one and it's ok to apologize. But because a stupid teenager makes a stupid joke doesn't mean he's a terrible hateful racist person. Woke culture is so hypocritical anyway. My American friends make a lot of jokes about Italian people because I am Italian and some of them involve mafia and stuff but I find them hilarious and I'm never offended because I know it doesn't come from hate.

robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

https://metro.co.uk/2020/01/30/harrowing-footage-shows-dog-yelping-barbecued-alive-street-market-12151916/

attielkins avatar
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

WHY IS THIS DOWNVOTED?!? YOU ARE SENDING A GOOD MESSAGE, and people think it’s racist?!? Please use an upvote bot! This needs to be heard, save the dogs!

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robwoodman avatar
Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Racist? https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7951691/Horrific-footage-yelping-dog-barbecued-alive-Chinese-market-shared-activists.html

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Zenozenobee
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes racist, you read correctly, when you decide that a whole people, including diaspora, is *name a stereotype* based on a few you read about/met, this is racist.

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Brett Connor
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2 years ago

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Most drivers go along with the joke. They tell the kids ( we only eat kids, dogs, bats,. dolphins, etc..)

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patrick springer
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2 years ago

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He didn't find the "joke" funny because in many parts of the world Asian's do eat cats. I feel sorry for the cats, not the driver.

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debrina blackmoon
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, I hope you don't have kids or never will. I feel sorry for anyone who knows you if they aren't fucktard shitpies as well, you tragic accident waste of atoms. Same goes for others like you.

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Suzanne Haigh
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2 years ago

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I find it so sad that this punishment had to happen. We have society in such a state that if you are not watching every simple word you speak you are classed as racist. A while ago I was fed up with being told "that is not acceptable", so I asked a black lady what I should say so I did not cause offence, she replied "XX, I am black and PROUD to be black" So how is saying she was black could be regarded by others to be racist if a white person said it? I am not racist and was brought up to treat everyone the same but these days that gets you into endless trouble.

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David Cartwright
Community Member
2 years ago

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We all know by now that it is only social acceptable to be racist towards whites. Providing they are men and straight and not disabled.

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Blazwing S
Community Member
2 years ago

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well hey the mom thinks she has the right to stomp on her son's rights to free speech. so no she was too harsh on him. she just seeded resentment and probably got a CYS case because you know kids can sue even divorce their parents. The kid was fine, the chineses guy already heard it all. Next time make the punishment fit the crime.

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BakuDeku Shipper
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Btw, let's test that 'been through it all' theory of yours. Let's say you've been shot indiscriminately, let's say, 5 times before. Well *grabs gun, you've already been through it all so why not shoot you once more? Tell me if that sounds f*****g logical

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QuotedPrawn7490
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2 years ago

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I don't give a s**t if you say a crude, insensitive or racist joke, but there are limits. The kid meant it in a joking way, but if the driver didn't like it, then there's something no wrong with the joke. If others find it funny and aren't offended, then it's fine

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Community Member
2 years ago

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Well, I mean even tho it was racist, some Chinese do eat cats and I can see if he was genuinely scared about his cat getting eaten. I am not on the sons side, and please don’t spam downvotes on this comment, I want to hear your opinions, just in the replies.

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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And great. People spammed downvotes. How surprising. Please, If you want to get your message across, don’t demean others opinions and just talk with them! ☺️

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Gabriela Lippai
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2 years ago

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Why is it that everybody thinks punishing children is great parenting? That the best way to teach somebody respect is by not respecting, but objectifying him? Was the mother around the last 13 years of the life of her son? Then where's her influence? Is this the first time, he said something like this? Didn't she build a respectful connection with him the last years where she could talk with him about the situation and he would understand it - and sincerely apologize?

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Rob Woodman
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2 years ago

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https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/worldviews/wp/2017/06/13/chinese-man-caught-with-500-imprisoned-cats-destined-for-restaurants/

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hobbitly
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just cause its normal to eat cats in some cultures, doesn't mean its a funny joke.

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Rob Woodman
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2 years ago

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Question: do Chinese people eat cats and dogs and pangols...? I’m all for the mother making the kid research China and write a paper about it, but let’s remember the places in China where they cook dogs alive.

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Steven Lu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, there are people having pigs as pets, yet you put bacon in your mouth. HOW DARE YOU!!! Btw, just like the whole pork industry, there are dogs raised to be consumed as food in China, South Korea and some other parts of Asia. But 99.99% of Chinese don't eat dog meat. Please do some research before commenting, thanks.

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StrawberryParfait
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2 years ago

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This is why we don't marry low value men, ladies. They create low-value sons by modelling low-value behaviour. Appropriate punishment for the crime, but the kid doesn't stand a chance having an asshat for a father like this.

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Rob Woodman
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So according to you women are too weak and inconsequential to have any input into their children? How incredibly sexist of you. Most of the strongest parents I know are mothers.

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2BX
Community Member
2 years ago

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This seems more like a Mom-plea to be validated on her great parenting and being woke about racism. Child discipline is not forum topic.

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Cuervo
Community Member
2 years ago

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Really? Everyone is too sensitive now a days. Life is too short.

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Ivan Ilic
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2 years ago

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Good mother.In Serbia I would be beaten very good,and have to apologize too.

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Viviane
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I agree with the apology, but not the beating. I understand things were different when and where you grew up. I would appreciate the parent making the child apologize if the child did me wrong. If someone beat their child, I would feel bad for the child and be upset at the parent.

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Sam Kunz
Community Member
2 years ago

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What an overreaction. Yes say it's wrong. Acting like a Crusader to save all mankind? Those people laughed at your son and you and made fun of you after you left. Just like they always make fun of white people. I used to work delivery for a Chinese carryout. They bashed all their white customers daily.

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Logic and Reason
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hard to imagine a shittier take you could have gone away with. “B-but, they mocked your son behind your back 🥺” The kid said something racist and was forced to apologize and gain adequate perspective on why that’s wrong. Now you should do the same, since taking your negative experience with a race and assuming that everyone of that race expresses that negative behavior is, in fact, racist.

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Demi Zwaan
Community Member
2 years ago

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This is a stereotype and might be hurtful, but it's not racism. He doesn't think he's better than Chinese people, does he? It's the same as people making jokes about Dutch people wearing wooden shoes, only having windmills, tulips and weed and being cheap. Or Belgian people being stupid. Stop confusing those terms.

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Beth L
Community Member
2 years ago

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Mom heroically saves family's ability to order Chinese delivery without worrying about disgruntled driver messing with That Address's food. (Honestly, most drivers probably wouldn't mess with someone's food, but there is always that *thought* that they might, which might actually be worse.)

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Mewton’s Third Paw
Community Member
2 years ago

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Obvious answer, boring story. Your son is a shít head. The end. I’m more disturbed at the 39 year old having an almost grown child lol. Fûuuuuck that.

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Lynn Colombo
Community Member
2 years ago

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Unfortunately there's truth to what the kid said. When I lived in Southern California there was a city where people's cats would disappear. This was years ago but it in fact happened.

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Tristan Kenyon
Community Member
2 years ago

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This is dumb. Asians do eat cat and dog, so what's wrong with saying it? Same as an Asian saying "Get the chicken away before dumb American eats it.." sooo dumb

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