There’s a saying that goes, “We’re not raising children. We’re raising adults.” So when Tabatha Marie’s child refused to clean up his room, she decided to teach him a lesson. Tabatha trashed his toys.
The mom posted a TikTok, explaining her reasoning behind the decision, and said she is not raising a disrespectful man—it is not mommy’s or a woman’s job; if you make a mess, you have to clean it.
Some parents, however, thought Tabatha’s punishment was too harsh. They started commenting their thoughts under her video, sparking a heated debate on teaching children responsibility.
Tabatha Marie asked her son to clean up his room
But he refused
So she decided to teach the boy a lesson
And trashed his toys
She explained the reasoning behind her decision in a TikTok
@tabathamarieI hated seeing the look on his face when he seen his room. It hurt me just as much but my babies will not be disrespectful #parenting #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie
Psychologists at Melbourne Child Psychology say that good organization, including tidying, enables better studying, time management, and forms healthy habits for later in life. But parents shouldn’t go overboard: rigid enforcement of cleanliness can become a form of procrastination and distraction, and a source of anxiety.
According to experts, we should not discourage kids from making stuff that involves some messiness. There’s no better time for it than childhood, and it can encourage creativity, problem-solving, and imaginative play.
That being said, controlling your kid’s mess isn’t just about them—it also affects your ability to function and be organized. So it might be a good idea to enforce stricter rules for common areas, rather than in their own rooms.
Making tidying up a daily ritual can really contribute to making long-lasting changes. It doesn’t place excessive importance on cleaning but gets the job done. You can, for example, allow your kids to make a mess, but adopt a five to ten-minute clean-up session at the end of the day.
The key idea is to make it less of a daunting ‘chore’. That way, it is more likely to become a good habit.
However, many people had concerns about this parenting tactic
But Tabatha doubled down, responding to the negative comments with more videos
She said the comments didn’t affect her
@tabathamarieYour response to cleaning my sons room out #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie
Just like her decision to take away his toys didn’t affect the bond she has with her son
@tabathamarieStrong, independent, respectful little man #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie
Tabatha provided more information on the situation
@tabathamariePart 556/982727782938 last video on my child cleaning his room #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie
And reaffirmed that she and her son are still best friends
@tabathamarieThank you for your opinion KAREN #fyp #foryoupage♬ original sound – Tabatha Marie
Some parents supported her
To learn more about teaching kids to clean up after themselves in general, Bored Panda talked to Vicki Broadbent of Honest Mum
Image credits: Duncan Cuthbertson
Vicki Broadbent, the founder of the parenting blog Honest Mum, and author of Mumboss: The Honest Mum’s Guide to Surviving and Thriving at Work, said that it doesn’t take long to establish good habits. “Within days, lives can be transformed with a stricter daily routine. It is not a parent’s job to do everything for their child and even young children can help with chores, like tidying away toys,” Vicki told Bored Panda.
“Involving children in shopping and cooking too can help with meal times (they will demonstrate more interest, eat and clean better) and they will relish the greater responsibility and shared family activities.”
Just like the afore-mentioned psychologists, Vicki’s family recognizes the benefits of routine. The gang has a chore list in the kitchen and since everyone has stuck to it for a while now, the children know exactly what they need to do each day.
“They make their bed, change into their clothes/school uniform, and then make their breakfast, cleaning up after themselves,” she said. “I tend to make the packed lunches but they also help with that, if time is on their side. We actually started waking up early so as not to feel so rushed and stressed in the morning and both of my boys have loved more time before school starts. It means they can also watch some TV and organize their bags, not forgetting things in a panic.”
Wtf????? This is not how you "teach your son a lesson", this is how you make a child sad and stressed out! He is 2, he doesn't understand gender bias, he barely understands his own little world and you're treating him like a teenage boy! Absolutely horrible parenting, I feel bad for the poor kid. If you treat him like this when he's 2,i can only imagine the horrible "lessons" he'll receive as he grows older. This is how anxious kids are raised, kids who fear their parents and want to move out of the house as soon as possible.
I think for a two year old it is harsh. If the child was older then fair enough, but not 2.
I also think that these toys are too large to make a 2yo put them all away by himself and he won't even know what to do. At this age teaching him to put away small things in a basket is enough. But what this mom wants is more appropriate for a child aged 4+.
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This is like that mother who let her 5 yo go without food all day because she forgot to pack her own lunch. I am all for treating kids with respect and as equals, but we have to be aware of their cognitive development limitations. Also, bringing this 'treat women well' argument with a small child is uncalled for. It is not because you are a woman that he didn't clean his room, it's because a 2 yo has other priorities and gets distracted.
Yes you should treat them with respect but you are not equals yet for the reason right after the "but" in that sentence.
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Why does anyone even need to make this kind of stuff public. This is indeed a selfish and shallow person.
She wanted to be praised about how much of a progressive, strong feminist mom she was. As a feminist, women like this piss me off, they do more damage than good.
Load More Replies... Wow, taking your feministic agenda and putting it onto a two year old? This is a phenomenal parenting fail. "Mommy tidies up!" has nothing to do with your gender if a two yeaar old utters that. By putting toys into the trash you will teach your son a lesson of unreliability and of inconsistency, and you demand a level of forecast not comprehensible for a two-year old. What about making realistic offers and demands, such as offering help after a certain amount of cleaning up has been done, turning cleaning up into a game, incentivising by offering toys he did not have in a wile, incentivising by allowing only a certain amount of different toys at a time so cleaning up is neccesary before playing something else, incentivising by promising to do some redecoration after cleaning up...there are so many possibilities. It only takes the willingness to perceive a two year old as a, well, two year old.
Children are literal thinkers and don't understand a general request to 'clean your room' - I mean, which bit? Where do they start? You need to spell it out for them. Put your clothes away in the drawers, dirty clothes in the wash, toys in the toybox. If you break it down into achievable and understandable steps they will find it easier to comply. Problem is many parents don't think like children any more, they think like adults and assume that children understand that. They don't.
This 100% I asked my 6 year old son to clean up his room last night but first it was put the big blocks back in the tub, which he did, then it was put the little blocks back in the frame. He did that too then put his dirty clothes in the basket. He needs the specifics otherwise he will just say that he can't.
Load More Replies... My dad did something similar to me when I was about 3 but instead he just stuck all my toys into black trash cans in the middle of the room and I couldn't touch them. I have never forgot that, and not in a positive way.
Me too. I wish they had taught me how to clean, rather than assuming I knew and punishing me when I failed. (I would get sidetracked for hours on the little things, rather than looking for the biggest impact items. And then they would assume I'd not been trying at all.)
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F*****g ridiculous - he's two years old!! This wont teach him anything except mummy is mean :( what she could have done was make a game of tidying up.
So did u trash them or put them in the basement? Stick to your script. Bottom line is, videoing and posting you disciplining your child is the height of trashy.
I'm sorry, her son is 2. Doing this to any child under 5 is just cruel because they're brains are developed enough to understand. She doesn't deserve children and it winds me up that those who don't deserve children fall pregnant yet those who would be amazing parents often struggle massively to fall pregnant.
My son is almost 4, and he has only recently started cleaning up all of his toys by himself. We didn't achieve this by carrying out harsh punishments, but by gradually giving more and more responsibility. At his age, he now understands that he is responsible for cleaning up after himself.
Good example of bad parenting. Good parenting would be to make a game out of it. "Who can put the most toys away" "how fast can we put all the toys away".... and she should help him with it. He is only two for gods sake.
What about "Let's do this together."? The little guy is only two, it's part of his natural development to discover his own will. Yes, this can be a shitty phase but don't have kids if you're not able to handle that. I'm really sorry for the kid having a mother that takes the behavior of a two year old personal and thinks it's a good thing to share her opinion with the internet. Feminism is an important thing but starting with a two year old makes her just look weak.
That is how I do it with my 2 year old. It doesn't matter how little he is helping. As long as he is there trying to participate, that is all that matters. Then afterwards I give him a high five and a thank you.
Load More Replies... That's not how you raise a responsible child. Expecting a two-year-old to clean and understand gender bias is ludicrous. Teach your child to tidy up by helping them, by giving them rewards (stickers on a chart for example), for helping you and by making tidying up a fun and collaborative activity. All she has actually taught her child is that when someone doesn't do what you want, you punish them.
This seems like good intentions, but bad approach, and all for a child that is too young for it. If she is worried about gender roles make sure daddy helps clean up too. Let him see good role models.
Wow. So stupid. A 2 year old child needs help in nearly everything. Cleaning up is a thing he doesnt even understand! Its so easy to clean a together at this age you could easily make a game out of it! Also she is responsible for the amount of toys, so she could easily not give him this much and so it is less to tidy up. Did she threw away the toys?
why on earth would you punish a kid who can't even SPELL toy by throwing them away. jesus christ.
While I try to keep my cool let’s start off with a list of things on what she shouldn’t have done and why. 1. The child is f*****g TWO “. 2. Thinking her son saying “Mommy’s supposed to do it.” Is not gender bias. He is f*****g two, he cannot comprehend genders. The reason he said this so probably because his mom usually is the one who cleans, so he thinks it’s her job to do so and doesn’t see why he has to do it. 3. Telling a two year old to clean a messy room is like telling a cat to sit still when it’s dinner time. (My cat at least) 4. Taking away the toys. Really?!? That’s going to make the kid distraught, sad, and bored when he has nothing to do. What the OP should’ve done is sit down and help the kid clean. 5 Years Old is when you should expect a kid to fully clean their own room.
When I was that age my mom had a "saturday shelf" for when I wouldn't help clean up or was being rude. I wouldn't get the stuff she confiscated until Saturday. It worked very well.
This article is a little misleading. I thought she had actually TRASHED his toys. ie thrown them out with the garbage. This would be an extreme and unfair punishment. Letting him THINK that's what happened would be little better but a punishment where he can learn a lesson and earn his way back into his mom's good books as well as get his toys back is a sensible way to teach a lesson. All punishments should involve learning. BUT, having said all that I think he may yet be still too young to learn from this, he's only TWO after all. He might actually have forgotten what he was punished for by the time he gets his toys back. And that makes punishment pointless..
the idea is simply taking his toys away is enough to make this bad parenting, and on top of that, she blamed it on gender bias?! he’s TWO ffs, like he doesn’t know anything about this. her not throwing his toys away doesn’t make this less wrong
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I tried this with my 2yo. Didn't actually throw her toys away but hide them for a bit. She helped me put them in the trash bag lol So yeah, maybe 4+ is the age range for this method.
Honestly, while I agree that a child should learn consequence, throwing away all of their toys isn't a constructive lesson, imo. If you really want them to understand respect then take the toys away & have him earn then back because in the real world, if we don't clean the only real consequence is a mess so instead of making it about respect, explain how this is your home & you expect x,y, & z to be done without argument because *fill in the blank numerous reasons why living in a messy environment is no fun* In my experience having raised two very different kids (f15 & m18) the one thing they both responded really well to was logical, age appropriate explanations. If, after a talk and example lesson, I was still ignored then they lost that item or another favorite toy until they could show me they were ready to earn it back.
I did this with my son when he was 6 or 7. His room was a mess and I would often help him clean it up. Rather I was cleaning and he was playing with everything his little hands touched. I got fed up one day and while he was at school, I "cleaned" his room. He came home to just a bed, a lamp and his bookcase filled with wonderful books to read. No toys and no television. He was upset but I told him that he could earn his toys back by doing random chores around the house. I also told him that if those toys ended up on the floor and not the toybox, then he would lose them forever. That kid had the cleanest room from that point on. We had more time to do things together, play games, do crafts, nature hike and just hang out. He is now almost 19 and we have such a great relationship. He is also a very polite and caring young man. I applaud this woman for doing what she thought best and not backing down to bullies.
Some people should not be allowed to have kids. What an absolutely shitty person. As if a two-year old cares about her feminist agenda or anything. If you want to punish, put the toys away for a day.
I'm of two minds about this. First off, he's way too young for this. Also, she's clearly got a chip on her shoulder about gender roles which she seems to be projecting onto her young son. Secondly, my mother burned my entire rare horror comic book collection when I was a kid because I didn't pick them up when she asked, and part of me still resents her for that. On the positive side, I think this is a good tactic for use with older kids who exhibit a poor attitude towards their responsibilities – sans the gender bias.
When my son was just a little guy, he and I would clean his room together, me showing him how his toys should end up on the shelves made for them. By the time he was 8, however, he got the idea in his head (from the icky little cretins in the neighborhood with whom he played) that "Mom can clean my room, and I'm just going to have fun." He actually said that, so when he was told a couple days later to pick his stuff up, and he said "No, I don't want to, you can do it," I said I would, and that he'd have to live with the consequences of his words. I bagged up his entire beloved huge "Hot Wheels" collection, the worst clutter offender by far, and put it all into the storage shed behind the house. I took care of the rest of his stuff, which was allowed to be tossed into the toy box my Dad had built for Son, but the Hot Wheels didn't come back into the house. It took only that one incident for him to learn that when Mom said to clean his room, I meant it. He got the cars back a week later.
I personally believe this child has way too many single-function toys...I think wood toys are better (or even legos). Toys that have multiple things you can do with them (even a variety of structures) support creativity. These toys are everywhere because he doesnt value them much. But, I agree...removing all of them was harsh (ever read "Ghost No More"? Recomend it). I'm female, fyi, and respect is earned, not given. Yes, the child needs to honor boundaries (of any sort), but just because she fits a certain criteria doesnt mean she automatically deserves something. I'm not explaining myself well, I'm sorry. Respect is what you show to a person who has done something good, especially if they have proven a good trait repeatedly through actions. Honoring boundaries is not judging based on superficial things (like appearance), and not treating people in a way they do not like.
She gave him a chance, offered to do it with him, he made a poor choice. She didn't throw anything away, he will earn his toys back if he learns to make a better choice. Hopefully she will guide him to that point so he "gets it".
This is sad iv'e seen this happen to my step brother who is under 10 and is sad an then i get my room trashed when my step mother when shes mad, she expects more from me because am a "girl" its sickening when you have a parent like this and even more when they brag on line or to their friends. i feel bad for This poor boy because I know what its like.
Well, for f***s sake. A 2 year old is absolutely capable of cleaning up. More importantly, a 2 year old has no reason to say "you clean it up, mommy". I wouldn't throw out the toys. I would let him think I was though.
Had a neighbor that was a single mother trying to make it through college. Only the child was being a hellion throwing things at his mother and preventing her from doing her work. I finally gave a demonstration to her as to how to get him to comply without raising my voice or a finger. So I sat in the living room while she worked. he came in and threw a hot wheel car at her. i picked it up, "Oh..you don't want that. It's mine now." He got upset and threw another one at her. Picked that up too "Another one..this is great. I'm going to have the whole collection soon." He then stopped throwing them. I went into his room where he was crying and asked him why he threw them. He said he was bored and wanted to play with mom. I said then maybe we can set something up where you and mom play, but then you let her get her stuff done. A compromise was reached. I think what his mom did was right.
no problem with me. i had a cubbie set up & drew pics of what each cubbie/tub was for so he could put them away. the bigger stuff was to be pushed to the 'toy corner'. he learned to clean his stuff and did so...until he was a teen and then it became a conflict. so, that was then i employed this mom's tactic w/my telling the teen if he didn't respect his stuff to take care of them then he didn't need them. didn't take him long to straighten up.
I hope this is sarcasm. If not, I have to do the obligatory OK Boomer!
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Even if the child has heard that somewhere it doesn't mean he understands the intent behind the words. He's 2, he doesn't even understand why the toys need to be put away or how to do it.
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No it doesn't. Maybe at an older age but not at 2. Kids learn by example. This is just a good way to raise a kid that doesn't trust you and thinks that when you don't get what you want you punish the other person. Theres a lot of negative lessons this teaches. It's just not good parenting.
Load More Replies... Wtf????? This is not how you "teach your son a lesson", this is how you make a child sad and stressed out! He is 2, he doesn't understand gender bias, he barely understands his own little world and you're treating him like a teenage boy! Absolutely horrible parenting, I feel bad for the poor kid. If you treat him like this when he's 2,i can only imagine the horrible "lessons" he'll receive as he grows older. This is how anxious kids are raised, kids who fear their parents and want to move out of the house as soon as possible.
I think for a two year old it is harsh. If the child was older then fair enough, but not 2.
I also think that these toys are too large to make a 2yo put them all away by himself and he won't even know what to do. At this age teaching him to put away small things in a basket is enough. But what this mom wants is more appropriate for a child aged 4+.
Load More Replies... This is like that mother who let her 5 yo go without food all day because she forgot to pack her own lunch. I am all for treating kids with respect and as equals, but we have to be aware of their cognitive development limitations. Also, bringing this 'treat women well' argument with a small child is uncalled for. It is not because you are a woman that he didn't clean his room, it's because a 2 yo has other priorities and gets distracted.
Yes you should treat them with respect but you are not equals yet for the reason right after the "but" in that sentence.
Load More Replies... Why does anyone even need to make this kind of stuff public. This is indeed a selfish and shallow person.
She wanted to be praised about how much of a progressive, strong feminist mom she was. As a feminist, women like this piss me off, they do more damage than good.
Load More Replies... Wow, taking your feministic agenda and putting it onto a two year old? This is a phenomenal parenting fail. "Mommy tidies up!" has nothing to do with your gender if a two yeaar old utters that. By putting toys into the trash you will teach your son a lesson of unreliability and of inconsistency, and you demand a level of forecast not comprehensible for a two-year old. What about making realistic offers and demands, such as offering help after a certain amount of cleaning up has been done, turning cleaning up into a game, incentivising by offering toys he did not have in a wile, incentivising by allowing only a certain amount of different toys at a time so cleaning up is neccesary before playing something else, incentivising by promising to do some redecoration after cleaning up...there are so many possibilities. It only takes the willingness to perceive a two year old as a, well, two year old.
Children are literal thinkers and don't understand a general request to 'clean your room' - I mean, which bit? Where do they start? You need to spell it out for them. Put your clothes away in the drawers, dirty clothes in the wash, toys in the toybox. If you break it down into achievable and understandable steps they will find it easier to comply. Problem is many parents don't think like children any more, they think like adults and assume that children understand that. They don't.
This 100% I asked my 6 year old son to clean up his room last night but first it was put the big blocks back in the tub, which he did, then it was put the little blocks back in the frame. He did that too then put his dirty clothes in the basket. He needs the specifics otherwise he will just say that he can't.
Load More Replies... My dad did something similar to me when I was about 3 but instead he just stuck all my toys into black trash cans in the middle of the room and I couldn't touch them. I have never forgot that, and not in a positive way.
Me too. I wish they had taught me how to clean, rather than assuming I knew and punishing me when I failed. (I would get sidetracked for hours on the little things, rather than looking for the biggest impact items. And then they would assume I'd not been trying at all.)
Load More Replies... F*****g ridiculous - he's two years old!! This wont teach him anything except mummy is mean :( what she could have done was make a game of tidying up.
So did u trash them or put them in the basement? Stick to your script. Bottom line is, videoing and posting you disciplining your child is the height of trashy.
I'm sorry, her son is 2. Doing this to any child under 5 is just cruel because they're brains are developed enough to understand. She doesn't deserve children and it winds me up that those who don't deserve children fall pregnant yet those who would be amazing parents often struggle massively to fall pregnant.
My son is almost 4, and he has only recently started cleaning up all of his toys by himself. We didn't achieve this by carrying out harsh punishments, but by gradually giving more and more responsibility. At his age, he now understands that he is responsible for cleaning up after himself.
Good example of bad parenting. Good parenting would be to make a game out of it. "Who can put the most toys away" "how fast can we put all the toys away".... and she should help him with it. He is only two for gods sake.
What about "Let's do this together."? The little guy is only two, it's part of his natural development to discover his own will. Yes, this can be a shitty phase but don't have kids if you're not able to handle that. I'm really sorry for the kid having a mother that takes the behavior of a two year old personal and thinks it's a good thing to share her opinion with the internet. Feminism is an important thing but starting with a two year old makes her just look weak.
That is how I do it with my 2 year old. It doesn't matter how little he is helping. As long as he is there trying to participate, that is all that matters. Then afterwards I give him a high five and a thank you.
Load More Replies... That's not how you raise a responsible child. Expecting a two-year-old to clean and understand gender bias is ludicrous. Teach your child to tidy up by helping them, by giving them rewards (stickers on a chart for example), for helping you and by making tidying up a fun and collaborative activity. All she has actually taught her child is that when someone doesn't do what you want, you punish them.
This seems like good intentions, but bad approach, and all for a child that is too young for it. If she is worried about gender roles make sure daddy helps clean up too. Let him see good role models.
Wow. So stupid. A 2 year old child needs help in nearly everything. Cleaning up is a thing he doesnt even understand! Its so easy to clean a together at this age you could easily make a game out of it! Also she is responsible for the amount of toys, so she could easily not give him this much and so it is less to tidy up. Did she threw away the toys?
why on earth would you punish a kid who can't even SPELL toy by throwing them away. jesus christ.
While I try to keep my cool let’s start off with a list of things on what she shouldn’t have done and why. 1. The child is f*****g TWO “. 2. Thinking her son saying “Mommy’s supposed to do it.” Is not gender bias. He is f*****g two, he cannot comprehend genders. The reason he said this so probably because his mom usually is the one who cleans, so he thinks it’s her job to do so and doesn’t see why he has to do it. 3. Telling a two year old to clean a messy room is like telling a cat to sit still when it’s dinner time. (My cat at least) 4. Taking away the toys. Really?!? That’s going to make the kid distraught, sad, and bored when he has nothing to do. What the OP should’ve done is sit down and help the kid clean. 5 Years Old is when you should expect a kid to fully clean their own room.
When I was that age my mom had a "saturday shelf" for when I wouldn't help clean up or was being rude. I wouldn't get the stuff she confiscated until Saturday. It worked very well.
This article is a little misleading. I thought she had actually TRASHED his toys. ie thrown them out with the garbage. This would be an extreme and unfair punishment. Letting him THINK that's what happened would be little better but a punishment where he can learn a lesson and earn his way back into his mom's good books as well as get his toys back is a sensible way to teach a lesson. All punishments should involve learning. BUT, having said all that I think he may yet be still too young to learn from this, he's only TWO after all. He might actually have forgotten what he was punished for by the time he gets his toys back. And that makes punishment pointless..
the idea is simply taking his toys away is enough to make this bad parenting, and on top of that, she blamed it on gender bias?! he’s TWO ffs, like he doesn’t know anything about this. her not throwing his toys away doesn’t make this less wrong
Load More Replies... I tried this with my 2yo. Didn't actually throw her toys away but hide them for a bit. She helped me put them in the trash bag lol So yeah, maybe 4+ is the age range for this method.
Honestly, while I agree that a child should learn consequence, throwing away all of their toys isn't a constructive lesson, imo. If you really want them to understand respect then take the toys away & have him earn then back because in the real world, if we don't clean the only real consequence is a mess so instead of making it about respect, explain how this is your home & you expect x,y, & z to be done without argument because *fill in the blank numerous reasons why living in a messy environment is no fun* In my experience having raised two very different kids (f15 & m18) the one thing they both responded really well to was logical, age appropriate explanations. If, after a talk and example lesson, I was still ignored then they lost that item or another favorite toy until they could show me they were ready to earn it back.
I did this with my son when he was 6 or 7. His room was a mess and I would often help him clean it up. Rather I was cleaning and he was playing with everything his little hands touched. I got fed up one day and while he was at school, I "cleaned" his room. He came home to just a bed, a lamp and his bookcase filled with wonderful books to read. No toys and no television. He was upset but I told him that he could earn his toys back by doing random chores around the house. I also told him that if those toys ended up on the floor and not the toybox, then he would lose them forever. That kid had the cleanest room from that point on. We had more time to do things together, play games, do crafts, nature hike and just hang out. He is now almost 19 and we have such a great relationship. He is also a very polite and caring young man. I applaud this woman for doing what she thought best and not backing down to bullies.
Some people should not be allowed to have kids. What an absolutely shitty person. As if a two-year old cares about her feminist agenda or anything. If you want to punish, put the toys away for a day.
I'm of two minds about this. First off, he's way too young for this. Also, she's clearly got a chip on her shoulder about gender roles which she seems to be projecting onto her young son. Secondly, my mother burned my entire rare horror comic book collection when I was a kid because I didn't pick them up when she asked, and part of me still resents her for that. On the positive side, I think this is a good tactic for use with older kids who exhibit a poor attitude towards their responsibilities – sans the gender bias.
When my son was just a little guy, he and I would clean his room together, me showing him how his toys should end up on the shelves made for them. By the time he was 8, however, he got the idea in his head (from the icky little cretins in the neighborhood with whom he played) that "Mom can clean my room, and I'm just going to have fun." He actually said that, so when he was told a couple days later to pick his stuff up, and he said "No, I don't want to, you can do it," I said I would, and that he'd have to live with the consequences of his words. I bagged up his entire beloved huge "Hot Wheels" collection, the worst clutter offender by far, and put it all into the storage shed behind the house. I took care of the rest of his stuff, which was allowed to be tossed into the toy box my Dad had built for Son, but the Hot Wheels didn't come back into the house. It took only that one incident for him to learn that when Mom said to clean his room, I meant it. He got the cars back a week later.
I personally believe this child has way too many single-function toys...I think wood toys are better (or even legos). Toys that have multiple things you can do with them (even a variety of structures) support creativity. These toys are everywhere because he doesnt value them much. But, I agree...removing all of them was harsh (ever read "Ghost No More"? Recomend it). I'm female, fyi, and respect is earned, not given. Yes, the child needs to honor boundaries (of any sort), but just because she fits a certain criteria doesnt mean she automatically deserves something. I'm not explaining myself well, I'm sorry. Respect is what you show to a person who has done something good, especially if they have proven a good trait repeatedly through actions. Honoring boundaries is not judging based on superficial things (like appearance), and not treating people in a way they do not like.
She gave him a chance, offered to do it with him, he made a poor choice. She didn't throw anything away, he will earn his toys back if he learns to make a better choice. Hopefully she will guide him to that point so he "gets it".
This is sad iv'e seen this happen to my step brother who is under 10 and is sad an then i get my room trashed when my step mother when shes mad, she expects more from me because am a "girl" its sickening when you have a parent like this and even more when they brag on line or to their friends. i feel bad for This poor boy because I know what its like.
Well, for f***s sake. A 2 year old is absolutely capable of cleaning up. More importantly, a 2 year old has no reason to say "you clean it up, mommy". I wouldn't throw out the toys. I would let him think I was though.
Had a neighbor that was a single mother trying to make it through college. Only the child was being a hellion throwing things at his mother and preventing her from doing her work. I finally gave a demonstration to her as to how to get him to comply without raising my voice or a finger. So I sat in the living room while she worked. he came in and threw a hot wheel car at her. i picked it up, "Oh..you don't want that. It's mine now." He got upset and threw another one at her. Picked that up too "Another one..this is great. I'm going to have the whole collection soon." He then stopped throwing them. I went into his room where he was crying and asked him why he threw them. He said he was bored and wanted to play with mom. I said then maybe we can set something up where you and mom play, but then you let her get her stuff done. A compromise was reached. I think what his mom did was right.
no problem with me. i had a cubbie set up & drew pics of what each cubbie/tub was for so he could put them away. the bigger stuff was to be pushed to the 'toy corner'. he learned to clean his stuff and did so...until he was a teen and then it became a conflict. so, that was then i employed this mom's tactic w/my telling the teen if he didn't respect his stuff to take care of them then he didn't need them. didn't take him long to straighten up.
I hope this is sarcasm. If not, I have to do the obligatory OK Boomer!
Load More Replies... Even if the child has heard that somewhere it doesn't mean he understands the intent behind the words. He's 2, he doesn't even understand why the toys need to be put away or how to do it.
Load More Replies... No it doesn't. Maybe at an older age but not at 2. Kids learn by example. This is just a good way to raise a kid that doesn't trust you and thinks that when you don't get what you want you punish the other person. Theres a lot of negative lessons this teaches. It's just not good parenting.
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