Dad Gets Applauded Online For Standing Up For His Son Who Got Bullied For Wearing Nail Polish
A Missouri dad’s recent TikTok post proved that gender norms and stereotypes remain a touchy subject that tends to spark heated discussions online. Doug Weaver, an art teacher and a self-described “real cool guy,” has gone viral after he opened up about an encounter between his 6-year-old son and his classmates, who criticized the boy for wearing nail polish.
As the man detailed in the video, which has amassed over 1.1 million views at the time of writing, his son simply wanted to paint his fingernails over the weekend, “so we painted them.” But after he returned from school on Monday, it turned out that several kids told him that this is something only “for girls”. But to that, the boy responded: “Nothing is just for boys or just for girls.”
Doug continued to share his thoughts on the matter, sparking a broader conversation and trying to shift the narrative around gender norms. So scroll down to find out how the story unfolded and read the reactions it received from viewers. Then be sure to share your thoughts, as well as your personal experiences, with us in the comments.
After his son was criticized for wearing nail polish by his classmates, Doug Weaver went viral for speaking out about the encounter on TikTok
Image credits: dougweaverar
Image credits: dougweaverart
Image credits: dougweaverart
Image credits: dougweaverart
Image credits: dougweaverart
You can watch the full video, which amassed over 1.1 million views, right here
@dougweaverart Nothing is just for boys or just for girls, y’all! #masculinity #parenting #dadlife ♬ original sound – dougweaverart
Doug’s video sparked a fiery debate in the comment section, illustrating how many people are divided on the matter. But the good news is that an astonishing number of viewers appreciated his approach and even shared their own personal experiences with fellow parents.
As the 34-year-old father, who has nearly 250,000 followers on TikTok, told Good Morning America in an interview, this wasn’t the first time his son Finley, who he described as “super creative,” had painted or wanted to paint his nails.
“We’ve had conversations about it before. It’s the first time that other kids have given him a hard time about it,” Doug said. “He painted his nails in kindergarten, no one cared. Everyone seemed to really like it. But this year, in first grade, it seems like more and more kids are aware of social norms and trying to enforce them. And so it’s suddenly becoming more apparent to him.”
Doug also pointed out how strongly he felt about speaking out about this situation on social media. “I see a lot of people on TikTok talking about very similar topics and tackling the same ideas,” Doug said.
“One of the reasons that I want to post this content is because I am a [cisgender, heterosexual] man,” Weaver said. “You don’t hear these things talked about by cis het men nearly as much. It’s a lot harder to find … I think because it’s easy not to [talk about it].”
The proud dad mentioned the video received mixed reactions from his followers. While many were supportive, some people sent angry messages, accusing Doug of confusing his child and setting him up to “be in therapy when he’s older.”
“My question is just how do they not see how silly it is to make all of these grand assumptions and get all upset and angry over a 6-year-old having color on his fingers? Like when you say it out loud, how does that not sound ridiculous?” Doug asked in response.
But Doug believes that speaking out loud and sparking conversations around this topic is an important step to dismantle gender norms and societal ideas of “what is considered masculine by many people.”
“This seemed like a relevant story about just how much pressure there is, as a boy or a man, to fit into some kind of mold. And it’s something that we’re dealing with our son,” he added.
“I know how much pressure I had when I was young to try to fit some kind of masculine image and it wasn’t pressure from my family. It was just the pressure that’s there — and now, seeing my son getting a lot of the same pressures that I did, but in a different scenario … it’s kind of hard to watch.”
“I know there are people who have never heard anyone say that it’s fine and have never heard anyone say that, ‘No, this isn’t harmful. It’s just paint,'” Doung noted. “Those are the people that I would like to just be able to say, ‘No, it’s fine. If you like colors, it’s fine. … It doesn’t mean anything more or less than just colors on your nails. And it’s OK.”
Bored Panda would love to hear your thoughts on this situation down below. Do you agree with Doug’s approach? Do you have any personal stories you would like to share with us? Feel free to let us know all about them in the comments.
Many viewers applauded Doug’s approach and shared their own personal experiences in the comments
Although some criticized the dad for supporting his son’s wishes despite knowing it’ll probably draw unnecessary attention
To all the parents who said he shouldn't do it to prevent bullying, that's the attitude that allows the bullying situation to continue. By condemning the nail polish instead of the bully you say that the nail polish is wrong. So if you feel that way just say it,you're allowed to have your opinion, but don't hide behind the "it's for the kids sake" bs answer
I agree. If someone is getting bullied, the bullies behaviour needs to be changed not the victims. It's often easier to get the victims to change but it sends out a terrible message to both sides and it's often lazy parenting and/or teachers.
Its victim blaming plain and simple. Its their fault for not being "normal".
I completely agree the bullies are wrong not a boy wearing nail polish. Even my uncle wears nail polish!!
That one parent that said, "This is a MASSIVE breakdown and destruction of morals" 🤣
To be fair, as someone who was bullied relentlessly for 8 years, I think you should absolutely encourage your kid to be themselves but also have that age-appropriate discussion about bullies BEFORE they do something that pushes against social norms. You can say, "Hey, it's cool that you wanted your nails painted last night and they look great! But some of the kids might tease you about it, are you ready for that? Do you know what you plan to say?" I get that there's a lot of harm in not 100% supporting your kid in being themselves but there's also a lot of trauma from not being accepted by your peers. If someone could have told me what I was doing wrong, I'd have loved to just fit in for a few years while I was still finding myself anyway. By high school I'd have been doing my own thing anyway but 10 is too young to be coming home every day crying because nobody will talk to you. And as innocent as it seems, it might very well start with little things like this.
PS. I had lasting mental issues with my mom pushing me to wear dresses and sit like a girl and wear make-up and buying me nail polish and purses and... yeah, I had issues like that. But I had MORE issues - trauma, I would suggest - from being bullied. You can condemn the bully while still helping your kid not blindly walk into situations. (PS I'm not saying this parent did it wrong as we have no idea what prior discussion did or did not occur.) I'm just saying, as many times as you say the bullies are wrong, it will still keep happening. Parents and teachers and even principals can ONLY ever make it worse if they try to intervene. Trust me, you can't stop it. So give your kid all the info and let them decide themselves how to proceed.
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This is, based on science, inviting trouble for your child. Children across societies enforce conventional norms. That is well known and well documented. Kids who break these norms will evoke strong emotional reactions from their peers. If he wants to sacrifice his child in order to change those norms, that's his call. But, I believe it's cruel. EDIT: Wow. Based on the downvotes, folks don't like the truth. I guess the anti-science crowd is everywhere.
It's interesting to me that when a girl likes boy things, she is praised. But when it's a boy who likes "girl" things, he's bullied and seen as being in danger of being gay or damaged in some way. This says a lot about how we view boys and girls and the value we assign to hobbies based on the hobby's perceived gender. Boy stuff is held at a higher value than girl stuff, so if a girl likes boy stuff, she is moving UP the social ladder and is praised, but if a boy likes girl stuff he is moving DOWN the ladder and pearls are clutched. This is true even in adulthood. Movies about women pretending to be men are epic tales about improving one's lot in life. Movies about men pretending to be women are comedies because it is funny to dress below your status. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, lol.
This is Toxic Masculinity in a nutshell - only MANLY MAN are allowed, and all others are social geeks and nerds not worthy of attention. Because geeks and wimps and nerds NEVER become CEOs and are powerless. Ever notice how these exact "manly men" are the ones lurking in the GOP and constantly say ridiculous toxic nonsense, and contribute to the idea of the threatened White Male?
“geeks and wimps and nerds NEVER become CEOs and are powerless”: What country do you live in that this is true? Here in the US, many of our most successful and powerful CEOs have been nerds (Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and on and on and on). We value nerds here (and rightly so! We tend to be single-minded, which comes in really handy when trying to accomplish something). I really hope things change for your people, because as you can see from these examples, there are *tremendous* advantages to being a nerd. It’s almost 2023 and your country needs to get with the times. Good luck, bud!
You said it perfectly! Another example is wages when more women start working in that sector - on average, they go down. Also "you (act, fight, run, look, play, whatever) like a girl" is definitely meant as an insult, while the other way around only "you look like a boy/man" is an insult, as in "you better look my definition of pretty and feminine or else".
good points!
Agree to an extent. My personal experience was I was raised by a father figure who OBVIOUSLY wanted a boy and made fun of me for wearing pink and liking girly things, so I switched to liking boy things, but I also got made fun of for that. Not saying you're wrong, because I definitely got made fun of LESS for liking boy things, but it still happened to me no matter what I liked. I do like this movement lately though of "Let kids like whatever the f**k they want " wish that was around when I was growing up. XD
What's funny I'd, I actually got a lot of c**p for taking Auto Tech for mechanics. My dad was somewhat supportive, but the rest of his side of the family were hateful about it. My step grandfather was one of the best mechanics I'd ever met, but if I talked to him about cars he would shrug me off because Im a girl. Yet my brother did the same auto tech program and he was fully supported by everyone. To the point that if one of our vehicles had an issue, my brother was the only one allowed to look at/fix it. So when my dad's vehicle broke down because my brother refuses to take the time to look at it after I told him the issues, I got blamed for "breaking it". Fact is, nothing belongs to one gender or another. Chefs can be men or women, yet women are expected to cook the meals at home... im fairly certain cooking is what a chef does... just sayin... my son is neurodivergent (autistic) and if he wants to wear his sisters clothes, my shoes, etc. I let him. (He LOVES my "witches boots")
(My boots have stars and moons on them in iridescent purples, greens, blues and he will slip his tiny feet into my canoes and try to walk around). I took him to the store in girl's clothes and his sister was wearing his batman n Robin shirt and his shorts with her kitty sneakers, most people fawned over them, but those few who made rude comments because of their genders I verbally demolished. I don't care if my kids are straight, bisexual, a-sexual, polygamists, or anything else under the rainbow, as long as they are happy and healthy, they can be and do whatever they want! Lol my daughter wanted black balloons, batman plates (bat symbol), and a pink n orange cake for her birthday tomorrow.. guess what she's gettin?? And a light up tiara and pin the teeth on the shark to boot with a side of create your own dinasours... because those are her favoritest things and I can't wait to see how excited she's gonna be! Lol.. just sayin...
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No there is two gender for a reason not one. So what we should let boys wear panty now and girls wear brief and let them change gender role and clothes. Let let men wear pad and breast. Each gender male or female have there role, who the hell want a feminine shy and afraid man and a masculine woman.. you just sound like you belong in a institution. Let men be men and women be women. Stop trying to take each other as we can't do them.
Yes. Yes we should let boys wear panties and let girls wear briefs. If you're appauld by the underwear your child is wearing, I'd have questions about why your so concerned with your child's underwear. If a biological female wishes to dress, act, look like a male, who cares? She's not there to please you and the fact that people think it's okay to define some one else's normal tells me they don't see them as people. Men, women, didn't matter what your sex is. They aren't there to please you. If you're not attracted to them, that's probably for the best, because they certainly aren't worried about you.
I'm confused... you do realize that they make panties FOR MEN and briefs/boy shorts FOR WOMEN, right? Are you saying that it's wrong for a person to wear clothing that they find comfortable? Also, like PP said, why does it truly matter to you what another person does? Does it personally effect you if a woman wears boxers? Or if a woman builds your house? A man cooks your meal? (Because um, funny enough, something like 60% of chefs are men) and last but not least, there are 4 recognized genders in the English language... what you mean is sex (the actual biological aspect of an individuals reproductive organs) which there are technically 3 of... so, um.. yea
That woman raving about the massive breakdown of morals, values, and family sounds utterly unhinged. A lot of us aren't interested in living in Gilead, thank you very much. Everyone has fingernails. Why are only women "permitted" to paint theirs? Someone make this make sense?
There is no way to make sense of nonsense they spew. I am in the US and a MAGA recently told me we need an authoritarian fascist government so we can return to family values. It's terrifying people think this way and vote.
I thought so too. Ah, who knew that morality rested on painted nails?
I don't even think the people who think this way can make it make sense.
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As it made for female everything have a gender attach to it for a reason.
It's not though. And no it doesn't have a reason other than that is who it sells to. Stop being a commercialized puppet and understand that who people are had nothing to do with the gender people think you should be.
And what is that reason? So that people who fear differences will be more comfortable in the world? Keep your closed minded hatred to yourself. If it's not causing you physical pain, it's none of your business. Let people be who they want to be.
😂 it wasn't even invented for females. It only really started to be marketed to just women in the early 1900's. Precious Miller is 100% wrong in their statement.
Precious miller can't even form an intelligent sentence so there's that too
To all the parents who said he shouldn't do it to prevent bullying, that's the attitude that allows the bullying situation to continue. By condemning the nail polish instead of the bully you say that the nail polish is wrong. So if you feel that way just say it,you're allowed to have your opinion, but don't hide behind the "it's for the kids sake" bs answer
I agree. If someone is getting bullied, the bullies behaviour needs to be changed not the victims. It's often easier to get the victims to change but it sends out a terrible message to both sides and it's often lazy parenting and/or teachers.
Its victim blaming plain and simple. Its their fault for not being "normal".
I completely agree the bullies are wrong not a boy wearing nail polish. Even my uncle wears nail polish!!
That one parent that said, "This is a MASSIVE breakdown and destruction of morals" 🤣
To be fair, as someone who was bullied relentlessly for 8 years, I think you should absolutely encourage your kid to be themselves but also have that age-appropriate discussion about bullies BEFORE they do something that pushes against social norms. You can say, "Hey, it's cool that you wanted your nails painted last night and they look great! But some of the kids might tease you about it, are you ready for that? Do you know what you plan to say?" I get that there's a lot of harm in not 100% supporting your kid in being themselves but there's also a lot of trauma from not being accepted by your peers. If someone could have told me what I was doing wrong, I'd have loved to just fit in for a few years while I was still finding myself anyway. By high school I'd have been doing my own thing anyway but 10 is too young to be coming home every day crying because nobody will talk to you. And as innocent as it seems, it might very well start with little things like this.
PS. I had lasting mental issues with my mom pushing me to wear dresses and sit like a girl and wear make-up and buying me nail polish and purses and... yeah, I had issues like that. But I had MORE issues - trauma, I would suggest - from being bullied. You can condemn the bully while still helping your kid not blindly walk into situations. (PS I'm not saying this parent did it wrong as we have no idea what prior discussion did or did not occur.) I'm just saying, as many times as you say the bullies are wrong, it will still keep happening. Parents and teachers and even principals can ONLY ever make it worse if they try to intervene. Trust me, you can't stop it. So give your kid all the info and let them decide themselves how to proceed.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
This is, based on science, inviting trouble for your child. Children across societies enforce conventional norms. That is well known and well documented. Kids who break these norms will evoke strong emotional reactions from their peers. If he wants to sacrifice his child in order to change those norms, that's his call. But, I believe it's cruel. EDIT: Wow. Based on the downvotes, folks don't like the truth. I guess the anti-science crowd is everywhere.
It's interesting to me that when a girl likes boy things, she is praised. But when it's a boy who likes "girl" things, he's bullied and seen as being in danger of being gay or damaged in some way. This says a lot about how we view boys and girls and the value we assign to hobbies based on the hobby's perceived gender. Boy stuff is held at a higher value than girl stuff, so if a girl likes boy stuff, she is moving UP the social ladder and is praised, but if a boy likes girl stuff he is moving DOWN the ladder and pearls are clutched. This is true even in adulthood. Movies about women pretending to be men are epic tales about improving one's lot in life. Movies about men pretending to be women are comedies because it is funny to dress below your status. Thank you for coming to my TedTalk, lol.
This is Toxic Masculinity in a nutshell - only MANLY MAN are allowed, and all others are social geeks and nerds not worthy of attention. Because geeks and wimps and nerds NEVER become CEOs and are powerless. Ever notice how these exact "manly men" are the ones lurking in the GOP and constantly say ridiculous toxic nonsense, and contribute to the idea of the threatened White Male?
“geeks and wimps and nerds NEVER become CEOs and are powerless”: What country do you live in that this is true? Here in the US, many of our most successful and powerful CEOs have been nerds (Elon Musk, Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, Jeff Bezos, and on and on and on). We value nerds here (and rightly so! We tend to be single-minded, which comes in really handy when trying to accomplish something). I really hope things change for your people, because as you can see from these examples, there are *tremendous* advantages to being a nerd. It’s almost 2023 and your country needs to get with the times. Good luck, bud!
You said it perfectly! Another example is wages when more women start working in that sector - on average, they go down. Also "you (act, fight, run, look, play, whatever) like a girl" is definitely meant as an insult, while the other way around only "you look like a boy/man" is an insult, as in "you better look my definition of pretty and feminine or else".
good points!
Agree to an extent. My personal experience was I was raised by a father figure who OBVIOUSLY wanted a boy and made fun of me for wearing pink and liking girly things, so I switched to liking boy things, but I also got made fun of for that. Not saying you're wrong, because I definitely got made fun of LESS for liking boy things, but it still happened to me no matter what I liked. I do like this movement lately though of "Let kids like whatever the f**k they want " wish that was around when I was growing up. XD
What's funny I'd, I actually got a lot of c**p for taking Auto Tech for mechanics. My dad was somewhat supportive, but the rest of his side of the family were hateful about it. My step grandfather was one of the best mechanics I'd ever met, but if I talked to him about cars he would shrug me off because Im a girl. Yet my brother did the same auto tech program and he was fully supported by everyone. To the point that if one of our vehicles had an issue, my brother was the only one allowed to look at/fix it. So when my dad's vehicle broke down because my brother refuses to take the time to look at it after I told him the issues, I got blamed for "breaking it". Fact is, nothing belongs to one gender or another. Chefs can be men or women, yet women are expected to cook the meals at home... im fairly certain cooking is what a chef does... just sayin... my son is neurodivergent (autistic) and if he wants to wear his sisters clothes, my shoes, etc. I let him. (He LOVES my "witches boots")
(My boots have stars and moons on them in iridescent purples, greens, blues and he will slip his tiny feet into my canoes and try to walk around). I took him to the store in girl's clothes and his sister was wearing his batman n Robin shirt and his shorts with her kitty sneakers, most people fawned over them, but those few who made rude comments because of their genders I verbally demolished. I don't care if my kids are straight, bisexual, a-sexual, polygamists, or anything else under the rainbow, as long as they are happy and healthy, they can be and do whatever they want! Lol my daughter wanted black balloons, batman plates (bat symbol), and a pink n orange cake for her birthday tomorrow.. guess what she's gettin?? And a light up tiara and pin the teeth on the shark to boot with a side of create your own dinasours... because those are her favoritest things and I can't wait to see how excited she's gonna be! Lol.. just sayin...
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
No there is two gender for a reason not one. So what we should let boys wear panty now and girls wear brief and let them change gender role and clothes. Let let men wear pad and breast. Each gender male or female have there role, who the hell want a feminine shy and afraid man and a masculine woman.. you just sound like you belong in a institution. Let men be men and women be women. Stop trying to take each other as we can't do them.
Yes. Yes we should let boys wear panties and let girls wear briefs. If you're appauld by the underwear your child is wearing, I'd have questions about why your so concerned with your child's underwear. If a biological female wishes to dress, act, look like a male, who cares? She's not there to please you and the fact that people think it's okay to define some one else's normal tells me they don't see them as people. Men, women, didn't matter what your sex is. They aren't there to please you. If you're not attracted to them, that's probably for the best, because they certainly aren't worried about you.
I'm confused... you do realize that they make panties FOR MEN and briefs/boy shorts FOR WOMEN, right? Are you saying that it's wrong for a person to wear clothing that they find comfortable? Also, like PP said, why does it truly matter to you what another person does? Does it personally effect you if a woman wears boxers? Or if a woman builds your house? A man cooks your meal? (Because um, funny enough, something like 60% of chefs are men) and last but not least, there are 4 recognized genders in the English language... what you mean is sex (the actual biological aspect of an individuals reproductive organs) which there are technically 3 of... so, um.. yea
That woman raving about the massive breakdown of morals, values, and family sounds utterly unhinged. A lot of us aren't interested in living in Gilead, thank you very much. Everyone has fingernails. Why are only women "permitted" to paint theirs? Someone make this make sense?
There is no way to make sense of nonsense they spew. I am in the US and a MAGA recently told me we need an authoritarian fascist government so we can return to family values. It's terrifying people think this way and vote.
I thought so too. Ah, who knew that morality rested on painted nails?
I don't even think the people who think this way can make it make sense.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
As it made for female everything have a gender attach to it for a reason.
It's not though. And no it doesn't have a reason other than that is who it sells to. Stop being a commercialized puppet and understand that who people are had nothing to do with the gender people think you should be.
And what is that reason? So that people who fear differences will be more comfortable in the world? Keep your closed minded hatred to yourself. If it's not causing you physical pain, it's none of your business. Let people be who they want to be.
😂 it wasn't even invented for females. It only really started to be marketed to just women in the early 1900's. Precious Miller is 100% wrong in their statement.
Precious miller can't even form an intelligent sentence so there's that too