People Share What Horrible Things Husbands Have Said To Their Wives That No One Should Repeat (35 Stories)
Honesty isn’t always the best policy, even in long-term relationships and in marriage. How you say something, how you phrase your opinion is just as (and arguably even more) important than what you’re trying to communicate. The truth can hurt and opinions can sting if you think diplomacy is a blunt instrument.
Internet users have been compiling a huge list of all the things that husbands should never (ever, ever, ever) tell their wives over on the r/AskReddit subreddit. The thread had nearly 6k comments and over 14k upvotes at the time of writing, and it’s all the proof you need that blurting out whatever’s on our mind doesn’t always bring about the best results.
Have a read through some of the best entries in the thread, upvote the comments that you absolutely agree shouldn’t leave a guy’s mouth, and let us know what you think is essential when it comes to communication in relationships in the comments.
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My dad, who doesn’t bake anything and barely cooks at all, while eating a slice of my mom’s homemade apple pie:
“You don’t cut the apples right.”
And that was the last apple pie she ever made for him. Around 40 years ago.
Bet he learnt not to criticize her cooking after that - either that or learned to cook for himself
My dad said once "mom made better". Mom told him to hop on the next train back to mommy or shut up and eat. Never complained again.
I was 12 years old and decided to make an apple pie from scratch for the very first time. I picked the apples from a tree on my uncle's land that I had to climb to get to, made the crust and filling myself and baked it to perfection. My dad's only comment: "I don't like the sugar sprinkled on top". So much for supporting the efforts of your children.
I am sure it was delicious! But maybe totally wasted on your father... I hope everyone else loved it and told you so.
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I'm imagining your mother waiting til your father goes to work, making an apple pie and troughing the whole thing herself. "Up Yours, Husband" *spraying crumbs*
This is the kind of comment people make who never or almost never cook. They have no appreciation for the time and labour put into their food.
In 1998 I made me (now disowned) parents and sister a beautifully cooked meal of food they like(I have a year professional chef training)I spent all day cooking it and half my food budget of the month(I was a single mom of a 2yr old on a very low income). They just insulted the meal and were horrible. They never apologized. & There was an apology owed on the table. So I never cooked them anything ever again from 1998-2016 when I ended the relationship in 2016. I mean not anything. If they had a dinner I’d not help cook anything. I’d open a tin of cranberry sauce or heat up something but I never ever cooked for them, again. & what I should have done was never spoken to those people from the day I turned 18. Don’t waste your apple pie, your gifts or your life on people that don’t appreciate you.
"Dont waste your apple pie." I love that. Sorry your fam are jerks. Good for you for setting healthy boundaries.
Load More Replies... My Mum got up and made breakfast for my Dad when they were first married. He complained about everything and she neve made him breakfast again in all the 48 years they were together.
He dodged a bullet there. 40 years of wrong cut apples in pies. No one could endure that.
She was with him for 40 more year? But that’s not the first and last shitty thing he said
When I was a kid (around 10 I think) my family had gone camping. I commented that Dads pancakes (in the skillet, over an open fire, with butter) were better than Moms. I ended up making every weekend breakfast meal at home from then on until I left to live on my own. I got pretty good at pancakes and waffles. And I learned never to disparage a cook.
I did the same when my husband complained about a dish I had not made in two weeks Never said "thanks I really like this dish'.
When people no longer respect their partner, they should at least be fair enough to break up with them instead of making their partner's life hell.
Good for her, but unfortunately he probably didn't put 2 and 2 together.
I had a friend whose husband was like this. He was verbally abusive and this was just a symptom of it.
The father's comment 40 years ago sound to me as "you didn't cut the apples as my mom does". More in surprise than in criticism. It's just my take but we have all been foolish in relationships when we were young.
See, saying, "You don't cut the apples the way I'm used to but thank you for making the effort to bake this pie for me," is an acceptable comment and counts as constructive criticism. "You didn't cut the apples right," is something only a d*** would say.
Load More Replies... Nooo, the good pie!!! I would have just pulled his plate from under his fork and said "More for me then..."
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maybe he was smarter than u think and he didn't like apple pie at all.....result lol
It is horrible as it shows a complete lack of respect for her and no appreciation whatsoever of the work and effort she put into baking him a pie. Living with someone like that is hard.
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That was probably not the first time, he'd made comments of this kind.
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...Contact THIS! *face slap* *dual eye prod* *cossack crotch kick* *heart karate chop* *frying panned* *strimmer* *atomic wedgie* *billhook* *digital callipers measure your nose* *tommy gun, see?* *mechanical whisk* *roundhouse kick* *shoots with tank* *broadside* *rickrolls* *the la ciotat special* *muslamic ray gun* *bandsaw* *nuclear projectile to eyelid* *seasons with salt and pepper* *zaps with poyais-goer* Didn't stand a chance.
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When I was pregnant with my daughter, maybe ten-eleven weeks and really wacky hormonal, my ex suddenly looked up and said,
"I know! If the baby is a girl we should make it Stephanie after my one true love."
My name is 100% not Stephanie.
At dinner with my parents last night, my husband said "it was so annoying when you kept throwing up when you were pregnant."
I threw up 3x a day for 20 weeks. I'm sorry it inconvenienced him so much
Earlier, I spoke with relationship and self-love coach Alex Scot about honesty, trust, and how we can distinguish between secrecy and privacy. According to Alex, it’s best to be completely honest with your loved one if the information affects them directly. We should do our best to imagine ourselves in their shoes and think about what we’d prefer, the truth or lies, in their position.
"If it can affect your partner or family, there absolutely should be transparency. Whenever in doubt, put yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask yourself what you would like if you were in their situation," Alex told Bored Panda.
I didn't get to try my mother's lasagna till I was twenty years old. Why? My father, in a temporary bout of insanity, whilst eating my mother's home made said to her "this is really good lasagna, but you know who makes REALLY good lasagna? My ex wife."
Wasn’t my husband, but an ex of mine once told me “I see why your ex abused you” when I was suffering from mental health issues.
I was modeling some new lingerie for my ex husband and asked “Do you like what you see?” In a flirty come get it kind of way. He looked up from his phone, gave me a once over and said “I’d like you to lose some weight”.
"If it wouldn’t impact them, then you have the option of keeping it to yourself. The difference between privacy and secrecy is that secrecy has a sense of shame, guilt, or knowing that your partner or family member wouldn’t be ok with whatever took place."
According to Alex, rebuilding trust takes time and effort and is a real challenge. The bigger the loss of trust, the longer it will take for someone to start believing you and feeling safe around you again.
Never tell your partner they did something badly if they do something to be good to you.
If they cleaned the apartment on their day off but there was still sand on the rug in the hallway, dont point out the sand and say they missed a spot or that they did it badly.
Say that it was fantastic and you really love it, then you can say "ohh i think i pulled some sand in with me, i'll just go and dust this hallway mat" Next time when they do it they will remember the hallway mat too.
Dont criticize your partner when they are trying to make you happy, they wont do it perfectly the first time around that is ok. If you criticize your partner when they are trying to make you happy, they will stop doing it. If you tell them it was fantastic, that you loved it, they will put more effort into it because its worth it to them, because it makes you happy.
You should also tell your partner how to train you the same way, so you become someone that makes your partner happy.
I was only 23 at the time, but I once told my now ex-wife that her cooking will “never be as good as my moms, no offense though” and boy, that was the dumbest thing I’ve ever said in my life. Like, wtf was I even thinking lol
I've just seen a documentary about Pearl Harbor and the long war that followed. I do see some similarities.
That she’s only upset because she’s PMSing. My husband knows my cycle better than I do (which isn’t saying much because I really pay no attention), and I swear he just expects me to get bitchy, so anytime I get irritated in that window of time, he acts like I’m not to be taken seriously.
For the record, I do get PMS—not severely, but I recognize when I’m getting irrationally bitchy, because I feel like I just WANT to be mad. So when I make a reasonable complaint from a rational place and it gets attributed to PMS, it’s infuriating. Like, it’s reasonable for me to get mad that you walked past a heap of cat puke 10 times today but waited for me to get home to clean it up!
“For smaller offenses, it will take less time, but for larger offenses, be prepared to be overly transparent for a time and hire a therapist or coach to walk you through the process. Trust takes consistency to rebuild and consistency equals effort over time."
Not my husband, but an ex boyfriend.
I dressed up for a dinner out, feeling super cute in my new dress. So I come up to him, smiley face and all.
I didn't even asked him how I looked. Did not intend to. He just said, with a disapointed face and a lil disgusted tone:
"You really wanna know what I think about your outfit?"
He's the ex for many reasons, but this one still makes me angry when I think of it.
He didn't even ask what you thought of him as a man. Did not intend to. He found out anyway.
“I liked your body better before you had kids” Yeah me too.
It’s too bad men can’t get pregnant, and give birth. Oh wait, if that was the case, the human population would have died out centuries ago.
I once heard my stepdad say (my mom was standing right beside him) that his ex wife was a 10 in looks but a 4 in personality, but that my mom was a 4 in looks, but a 10 in personality. He thought it was a compliment. Aaaaand he still hasn't lived it down, but his story has changed over time. My mom is now a 7 in looks lmao
Noooo, what a horrible thing to say. Here's some advice to men AND women, don't compare your partner with an ex.
My wife was complaining that there was no food, said she was starving. There was, she's just picky. It got on my nerves a bit and I said..
"Well you don't look like your starving"
Don't ever say that
My husband once said “I married my mother”, and I’m still plotting his death.
You look better with less weight! You were more relaxed before we had kids. We have 3 kids 5 and under, the eldest most likely has ASD, sensory processing disorder, ADHD and still doesn't sleep. Sorry I'm not as carefree as before.
Tell him that he would look better with his big mouth duct taped shut.
Until you know how she feels about how something looks, don’t comment.
My mum bought a dress I thought she looked really good in, she liked it too. She tried it on in front of my dad and he said he didn’t like it. All the happiness drained from her face, she got changed, handed me the dress and said it was mine now. I tried to convince her how nice she looked but nothing changed her mind, a back handed comment from dad (I don’t even think he really looked) changed her whole perspective
This is to everyone with a significant other that is a female. Saying things like “calm down” “you’re being crazy right now” or “it’s not that big of a deal” is a sure fire way to get us angry, it feels almost hard wired.
If you tell someone "calm down" or any of these things, what that person usually hears is "you shouldn't be getting upset"/"you don't have the right to be upset" or, essentially, "your feelings are wrong". I'm not saying everyone who says these phrases means that, but the phrases imply that. Given that, historically, women's feelings have been downplayed or dismissed far more often than men's, it can touch a nerve.
Don't tell them an ex's gift (or an ex's anything for that matter) was better than yours.
At my partner's last birthday dinner him mom asked what the best gift he'd ever gotten was. He immediately said "oh insert ex gf name who I was with for a really long time got me these awesome custom Marvel Vans like five years ago! I don't think anything has topped that." and he gushed about it for a good five minutes. It absolutely hurt cause I had just bought him a really expensive gift I knew he'd been wanting for a while. So yeah don't do that.
An ex once told me he loved me almost as much as the ex that broke his heart. He continued to update me as I got closer to “that mark” and finally once I surpassed that mark. I was young and naïve and he was my first bf. I dumped him, am married now, and I think he’s still sulking around wondering why nobody falls for him.
I hope you're very happy now that you're married to someone better! <3
Don't ever bring up how attractive she was before kids.
This guy I worked with would say that all the time. Holy shit don't say stuff like that. Do you want to get murdered in your sleep for being an insufferable dickhead?
Again, this is your wife. You’re supposed to love her. You’re NOT supposed to shoot her down like that, especially when she’s probably already hypercritical of herself. All you’re doing is piling your own bullshit on top of it. She’s given birth to children you BOTH made, which took a physical toll on her that would kill any man. So either tell her she’s beautiful or shut the f**k up.
Never tell your wife something designed to hurt her out of anger. You live with her and know what will hurt her the most, don’t weaponize it.
Never say something that implies you find someone else more attractive. Some relationships you can acknowledge someone else is good looking. Some you can’t. But either way, your words should never state or openly imply someone else is MORE attractive.
Never talk harshly about the people she’s close to. You can carefully express annoyance about her friends or family, but don’t be petty or hateful towards them directly or in her presence.
Never blame her mood on her period. A woman’s mood may be exaggerated (sometimes a lot) by hormones, but the feelings are very much real and any implication that it’s all about her period is dismissive.
Nasty s**t like that can’t be unheard once it’s been said. Great way to sabotage the good thing you have, but sure do not deserve, asshole.
Dad was drunk one night when i was 16 and said to mum that she was a fat fucking cow and wished she didn't get that surgery as it made her who she is today. She had breast cancer and had to have surgery to get rid of it, she had a tissue expansion which made her d's become e's for a period of time and dad hated it.
“Trust me woman, I know what I’m talking about. I’m 100% positive on this.”
Welp, 5 minutes later after a Google search she showed me, with a mischievous smile, I was in fact, wrong. Fuck.
My ex boyfriend told me he was "glad my boobs weren't any smaller than they already were" and that my boobs were "too far apart". Cue the complex about my boobs I never had before that comment
I used to work with a woman who told me that when she first met the guy whom she later married, one of the first things he said to her was 'I have a joke that will make you laugh your tits off - oh, I see you've already heard it". My first thought was why would you even want to see him again let alone marry him
Wow your sister maintained her figure really well after their kid was born.
This reminded me of a friend whose husband used to compare her with me 🤦. "You should do like *me*, she works out and keeps herself well", "see *me*? She is applying to study. You should do the same". It was so awkward and embarrassing. I knew he wanted to motivate her and set me as an example but his method was totally wrong making her feel below me. She stopped being my friend because of that.
First time I ever tried shepherds pie made by my mum was a few days ago when I (33) was visiting for dinner. Why do you ask? He told her just after they were married (a man who can’t cook mind you) that it’s not the way his mum makes it.
It was so damned delicious too!!!!
My friend's 50+ year old husband still does that. I have no idea why she puts up with him other than she is afraid of being alone when she is old
"I like more athletic looking women" like an Allison Stokke type.
I work full time, I'm in college full time, and I take care of our daughter most of the time. I don't have time for the gym and I don't look that terrible. I'm 5'7 135lbs with a little tummy squish bfd
Probably shouldn't tell her that since he was unable to get the person he was most attracted to, he got you instead.
That leaves a pretty lasting impression.
Once had a partner tell me that I "Have a forehead you could lay a mattress on" I used to style my hair with a part down the middle, but after that I made sure to get bangs and am super obsessive about moving my hair to cover my forehead. I was bullied a lot in school, so I had a lot of self consciousness about other bits of my appearance, but the forehead thing was news to me at the time.
We had a baby two weeks ago.
The night after labor, while sitting with our boy. I told her I'm tired.
Should not have said that. I apologize.
That's not bad at all. They didn't say they were more tired than the new mother.
My bf went to jail for a few months some years back. I was hella depressed when he was gone, and self medicated with food and alcohol. I would visit him every Sunday with his mom. When he got out, he got drunk one night and told me. “Every week when you came to visit, I always though….man she’s getting bigger!” Didn’t need to know that.
My ex boyfriend used to repeat every day that I was way prettier when we met.
That she behaves like her mother.
I think a husband who makes such a statement is fully aware of the fact that they will get into a fight.
Note: this post originally had 45 images. It’s been shortened to the top 35 images based on user votes.
Most of these are about how women dont look as good after marriage, kids and the passage of time. Perhaps its about time we started pointing out how men grow a gut, loose muscle tone and start sagging in all the wrong places. How they also wrinkle and go grey and get bald. Why are women accused of 'letting themselves go' when men arn't exactly the studs they were in thier 20s. In most of these comments, the appropriate response is, looked in a mirror lately?
I stopped reading these posts because the cruelty got me all pissed off! What is wrong with these men?
Most of these people are psychopaths. Not chainsaw slaughter psychopaths, but still...
When my husband and I were first married I asked him if he would please take off his socks right side out so that I wouldn't have to stick my hand inside his stinky, disgusting socks (he was a mechanic). He said "I never asked you to do my laundry"! And I never did his laundry, never, ever again! ;)
My father is the youngest of seven kids, so I have 27 first cousins. My two siblings are adopted, I am not. Mom couldn't have more kids after me. This will all make sense, I promise. ...///... We were at a family dinner, when my father pointed at my brother and sister and said, "I know those are mine, I've got papers to prove it". ...///... Then he pointed at me (in front of 16 adults and about 25 kids) and said, "I don't know where the hell that one came from." ...///... That was when I was about 12. From that day on, I never spoke to him directly again. He died when I was in my mid 30s.
I'm so sorry for the pain that has caused you, I know it too well myself. I was around 13-14 when my father had spent an hour chewing me out for something I had got in trouble for at school, when he told me to my face "I wish you had never been born, I never wanted you anyway", then stomped out of the room. I'm almost 70 now, and I cannot remember him ever telling me to my face that he loved me or that he was proud of me for anything. He died alone in a Veterans Home.
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My ex once told me that "I smile too widely" and "Show too much teeth when smiling" and that "I should practice it"
What an odd thing to say?!? Smiling is the absolute BEST thing anyone can do. Strange what men request, I had an ex who my daughter loved so much she called him "Jeffy weffy". He got so angry - told me that I bought my child into our relationship and I need to control her (to show him respect). I said I bought him into our relationship and she could call him a lot worse. Just imagine how hard life is for men like this who want to control everything in their life. They will always be miserable
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Hubby to me while I was curled up in agony with monthly cramps, about 30 years ago: "You make cute whimpers when you're in pain." I'm sure he meant well. I'm also sure I feel absolutely zero remorse for my reaction, and he never said it again. :-)
My husband, maybe 20 years ago, once tried to compare menstrual pain, pregnancy discomfort, & labor/delivery pain to some of the pain he had felt over the years from sports injuries. That got him a shut down I don't think he's ever experienced in his life, and yeah - he's never tried that again!
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My ex once complained about a meal I made, that I cut the chicken wrong as the instructions stated cubed and I didn't cube the chicken correctly in his opinion. He then also commented that my lasagna had too much sauce. This was a guy who didn't cook and would expect me to cook his dinner after he's been home all day and I've been at work for 14 hours. I don't regret leaving his critical, opinionated, condescending ass.
I think a lot of these men are suffering the same disease, foot in mouth.
Get a crisp new sheet of paper, now crumple it up and then try to make it smooth again. Words can cause people serious harm. Some carry those words like the crumpled paper carries the marks of being crumpled. The singer Karen Carpenter is an example, off handed remarks by one person ended up costing her years of agony and eventually lead to her death. Think before you talk or type to anyone, be it a customer service person or your SO.
Wow that's an amazing analogy!! I love it and agree. There is something called cognitive behavioral therapy that will help to stop that piece of paper from getting too crumpled in the first place. You can't control what another person says. So if someone says something nasty or thoughtless it reflects more on them as a person, than you. I'd say almost all of the time, a nasty comment brushes past me. If anything I feel for the person saying it rather than taking it on personally. Takes years to learn this but great when you do
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My ex said after I lost 25 lbs "You look good. I couldn't believe you let yourself look that way for so long."
one of the worst comments from my ex was the best thing he did for me. he started attending college & began treating me like i was an idiot bc of his getting a higher education. pissed me off so bad i had a garage sale for first semester tuition & worked my ass off for scholarships/grants for rest of the time. made deans list ever semester; graduated w/3.94 (damn that A- in political science!), as well as graduated w/highest award presented to graduating student. and, bc i took summer/extra classes, did it one year earlier. him? took shortened classes w/little more than average grades for what i called a 'mc degree' as it was through a military program designed to get a degree to increase educational levels in the military.
While my wife was giving birth and pushing down hard in pain....... "Oi! Your stretching my t-shirt." To be fair, just before that the doctor said if things did not move quicker they would have to cut her and help the baby out. As the doctor left she looked me in the eyes (I swear they glowed red!) and said "IF SHE COMES BACK IN THIS ROOM YOU PUNCH HER!"
I read all this and raise you: During the birth of my daughter the midwife told me to lay down next to my wife to give her comfort during labour. I had had a long day and it was middle of the night... next thing I know was a kick in the ribs from midwife and a rather gruff voice telling me that the baby was coming. My, by now very much ex wife, likes to bring this up from time to time.
I've never heard of a husband lying down next to a wife in labor. It's weird that the hospital suggested that.
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1. My sister died of an aneurysm back in 1992. Ex husband says “do we have to go to the funeral? You weren’t that close”. My parents were in our living room and had just arrived for a short cruise. We were in FL, they flew in from MD. 2. No I don’t want to ruin my day off and go with you to the doctor. 30 min later doc says tests came back and it was likely a blood cancer. Went home, called my family, my father in law and waited long time before I gave him the news. Also, this was the beginning of the end with him. I’d had enough of being ignored and taken for granted. 3. Asked for divorce when I was finished with treatments. He replied “don’t think I’m paying child support. Those aren’t my kids”. We adopted them, together.” Once over the initial pain and shock, he did triple what the state would have asked. He co parented and took care of all their expenses. They were 14 and 16 yo girls. They were expensive and he stepped up freely. Great dad, not so great spouse.
To me, In a lot of these comments you can tell how much men have been obsessed with a pornographic view on life. You can tell how it has damaged their views on women and what is even acceptable to think or say it's disgusting
Yep. I'm constantly saying it- we need more teaching of healthy relationships in school. Plus positive modelling by parents. If it's a toxic relationship, get out. Don't let the kids see you putting up with things like that.
Load More Replies... How can people be so cruel? Of course we change over the years. And comparing someone to an ex...just wow! Maybe think before you speak.
The last one is funny to me because he told me I was acting like my mother one day for something he didn't do that really wasn't a big deal and I cried because I was acting like her. Totally changed my outlook on how I behaved towards him.
My now-ex husband once said: 1. "Extra weight never hurts men's prospects, but it destroys a woman's." He was heavy at the time, not me. #2. HE was invited to his high school reunion and he said I couldn't go with him because, "you're not invited!" #3. He would cut off a discussion by yelling "END OF SUBJECT!" #4. When I was younger and still attractive ... I asked him if he thought I was sexy? He said "NO ... you're not that type!" He was hurtful, immature and spoiled, It took me 30 hard years to realize that.
My ex MIL always hated me. Just straight up hated me. Fortunately for me we lived many hours away from the inlaws. I've battled my weight most of my life and have yo-yo'd up and down. The one and only time my inlaws came to visit us my MIL very kindly told me that she'd decided that I wasn't FAT, I was just retaining a lot of water and she'd been looking into herbal remedies for it. A few days later she changed her mind and told me that I WAS fat after all, but it wasn't my fault it was because I had low self esteem. I was not impressed. When I told this to my ex, expecting him to be as outraged as I was, he said "Well, she's not wrong."
I had an ex who used to make weird faces when I made jokes, and said that women can't be funny...
So are we going to get a list of things that women shouldn't say to their husbands?
Ex long-time boyfriend went home to visit his family. Came back and wanted to talk about our future. “All my friends are getting married and starting families. I want that too. So I think we should get married if you lose 10 pounds”. We met in the USMC. I was quite fit, thank you very much. It broke my heart because I knew it couldn’t be about my weight.
that must have broke your heart :( I'm so sorry you had to go through that
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My favorite: If you don't like how I do , do it yourself. Either way, I win. "That's okay, you are going fine." and the griping stops. Or, my oldest son took over laundry and ironed his own clothes because he didn't like how I was doing it. Win!
Ladies whenever your man says something derogatory about your looks, weight, attitude or whatever usually just say back "Really? I don't hear anyone else complaining but you. Maybe your the one with the problem(s) not me". Works every time to shut them up. Makes them think.
Isn't that as intentionally cruel? If you are going to say something it should be truthful and assertive, not passive aggressive. Don't let them get away with it but also don't make it into a one-upping situation.
Load More Replies... Humans should live two lives. At the end of the first life go into a chrysalis, then later emerge - with all memories intact - for the second life - as a member of the opposite sex to the first life
Can we perhaps start a post about all the vicious, vile, bitchy things that woman have said to their husbands?? Just to even out the score a little and quit the tedious, "all men are bastards" line that Bored Panda seems to promote a tad too often?!
I agree with your point, Mark, but I didn't read this article from an "all men" perspective. These are just some men. And I have no issue with your suggestion either, and second it; there should be equal time. The more we speak to one another, the more we understand one another.
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Can we please stop ignoring how 95% of the stories on this page that have to do with horrible/unacceptable/ignorant/shocking behavior are about men?
Yeah, someone's gonna start a post that focuses on women's bad behavior
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Seriously, Ryan, there is no need for you to continue commenting like this; we get it...you have no understanding of women.
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Most of these are about how women dont look as good after marriage, kids and the passage of time. Perhaps its about time we started pointing out how men grow a gut, loose muscle tone and start sagging in all the wrong places. How they also wrinkle and go grey and get bald. Why are women accused of 'letting themselves go' when men arn't exactly the studs they were in thier 20s. In most of these comments, the appropriate response is, looked in a mirror lately?
I stopped reading these posts because the cruelty got me all pissed off! What is wrong with these men?
Most of these people are psychopaths. Not chainsaw slaughter psychopaths, but still...
When my husband and I were first married I asked him if he would please take off his socks right side out so that I wouldn't have to stick my hand inside his stinky, disgusting socks (he was a mechanic). He said "I never asked you to do my laundry"! And I never did his laundry, never, ever again! ;)
My father is the youngest of seven kids, so I have 27 first cousins. My two siblings are adopted, I am not. Mom couldn't have more kids after me. This will all make sense, I promise. ...///... We were at a family dinner, when my father pointed at my brother and sister and said, "I know those are mine, I've got papers to prove it". ...///... Then he pointed at me (in front of 16 adults and about 25 kids) and said, "I don't know where the hell that one came from." ...///... That was when I was about 12. From that day on, I never spoke to him directly again. He died when I was in my mid 30s.
I'm so sorry for the pain that has caused you, I know it too well myself. I was around 13-14 when my father had spent an hour chewing me out for something I had got in trouble for at school, when he told me to my face "I wish you had never been born, I never wanted you anyway", then stomped out of the room. I'm almost 70 now, and I cannot remember him ever telling me to my face that he loved me or that he was proud of me for anything. He died alone in a Veterans Home.
Load More Replies... My ex once told me that "I smile too widely" and "Show too much teeth when smiling" and that "I should practice it"
What an odd thing to say?!? Smiling is the absolute BEST thing anyone can do. Strange what men request, I had an ex who my daughter loved so much she called him "Jeffy weffy". He got so angry - told me that I bought my child into our relationship and I need to control her (to show him respect). I said I bought him into our relationship and she could call him a lot worse. Just imagine how hard life is for men like this who want to control everything in their life. They will always be miserable
Load More Replies... Hubby to me while I was curled up in agony with monthly cramps, about 30 years ago: "You make cute whimpers when you're in pain." I'm sure he meant well. I'm also sure I feel absolutely zero remorse for my reaction, and he never said it again. :-)
My husband, maybe 20 years ago, once tried to compare menstrual pain, pregnancy discomfort, & labor/delivery pain to some of the pain he had felt over the years from sports injuries. That got him a shut down I don't think he's ever experienced in his life, and yeah - he's never tried that again!
Load More Replies... My ex once complained about a meal I made, that I cut the chicken wrong as the instructions stated cubed and I didn't cube the chicken correctly in his opinion. He then also commented that my lasagna had too much sauce. This was a guy who didn't cook and would expect me to cook his dinner after he's been home all day and I've been at work for 14 hours. I don't regret leaving his critical, opinionated, condescending ass.
I think a lot of these men are suffering the same disease, foot in mouth.
Get a crisp new sheet of paper, now crumple it up and then try to make it smooth again. Words can cause people serious harm. Some carry those words like the crumpled paper carries the marks of being crumpled. The singer Karen Carpenter is an example, off handed remarks by one person ended up costing her years of agony and eventually lead to her death. Think before you talk or type to anyone, be it a customer service person or your SO.
Wow that's an amazing analogy!! I love it and agree. There is something called cognitive behavioral therapy that will help to stop that piece of paper from getting too crumpled in the first place. You can't control what another person says. So if someone says something nasty or thoughtless it reflects more on them as a person, than you. I'd say almost all of the time, a nasty comment brushes past me. If anything I feel for the person saying it rather than taking it on personally. Takes years to learn this but great when you do
Load More Replies... My ex said after I lost 25 lbs "You look good. I couldn't believe you let yourself look that way for so long."
one of the worst comments from my ex was the best thing he did for me. he started attending college & began treating me like i was an idiot bc of his getting a higher education. pissed me off so bad i had a garage sale for first semester tuition & worked my ass off for scholarships/grants for rest of the time. made deans list ever semester; graduated w/3.94 (damn that A- in political science!), as well as graduated w/highest award presented to graduating student. and, bc i took summer/extra classes, did it one year earlier. him? took shortened classes w/little more than average grades for what i called a 'mc degree' as it was through a military program designed to get a degree to increase educational levels in the military.
While my wife was giving birth and pushing down hard in pain....... "Oi! Your stretching my t-shirt." To be fair, just before that the doctor said if things did not move quicker they would have to cut her and help the baby out. As the doctor left she looked me in the eyes (I swear they glowed red!) and said "IF SHE COMES BACK IN THIS ROOM YOU PUNCH HER!"
I read all this and raise you: During the birth of my daughter the midwife told me to lay down next to my wife to give her comfort during labour. I had had a long day and it was middle of the night... next thing I know was a kick in the ribs from midwife and a rather gruff voice telling me that the baby was coming. My, by now very much ex wife, likes to bring this up from time to time.
I've never heard of a husband lying down next to a wife in labor. It's weird that the hospital suggested that.
Load More Replies... 1. My sister died of an aneurysm back in 1992. Ex husband says “do we have to go to the funeral? You weren’t that close”. My parents were in our living room and had just arrived for a short cruise. We were in FL, they flew in from MD. 2. No I don’t want to ruin my day off and go with you to the doctor. 30 min later doc says tests came back and it was likely a blood cancer. Went home, called my family, my father in law and waited long time before I gave him the news. Also, this was the beginning of the end with him. I’d had enough of being ignored and taken for granted. 3. Asked for divorce when I was finished with treatments. He replied “don’t think I’m paying child support. Those aren’t my kids”. We adopted them, together.” Once over the initial pain and shock, he did triple what the state would have asked. He co parented and took care of all their expenses. They were 14 and 16 yo girls. They were expensive and he stepped up freely. Great dad, not so great spouse.
To me, In a lot of these comments you can tell how much men have been obsessed with a pornographic view on life. You can tell how it has damaged their views on women and what is even acceptable to think or say it's disgusting
Yep. I'm constantly saying it- we need more teaching of healthy relationships in school. Plus positive modelling by parents. If it's a toxic relationship, get out. Don't let the kids see you putting up with things like that.
Load More Replies... How can people be so cruel? Of course we change over the years. And comparing someone to an ex...just wow! Maybe think before you speak.
The last one is funny to me because he told me I was acting like my mother one day for something he didn't do that really wasn't a big deal and I cried because I was acting like her. Totally changed my outlook on how I behaved towards him.
My now-ex husband once said: 1. "Extra weight never hurts men's prospects, but it destroys a woman's." He was heavy at the time, not me. #2. HE was invited to his high school reunion and he said I couldn't go with him because, "you're not invited!" #3. He would cut off a discussion by yelling "END OF SUBJECT!" #4. When I was younger and still attractive ... I asked him if he thought I was sexy? He said "NO ... you're not that type!" He was hurtful, immature and spoiled, It took me 30 hard years to realize that.
My ex MIL always hated me. Just straight up hated me. Fortunately for me we lived many hours away from the inlaws. I've battled my weight most of my life and have yo-yo'd up and down. The one and only time my inlaws came to visit us my MIL very kindly told me that she'd decided that I wasn't FAT, I was just retaining a lot of water and she'd been looking into herbal remedies for it. A few days later she changed her mind and told me that I WAS fat after all, but it wasn't my fault it was because I had low self esteem. I was not impressed. When I told this to my ex, expecting him to be as outraged as I was, he said "Well, she's not wrong."
I had an ex who used to make weird faces when I made jokes, and said that women can't be funny...
So are we going to get a list of things that women shouldn't say to their husbands?
Ex long-time boyfriend went home to visit his family. Came back and wanted to talk about our future. “All my friends are getting married and starting families. I want that too. So I think we should get married if you lose 10 pounds”. We met in the USMC. I was quite fit, thank you very much. It broke my heart because I knew it couldn’t be about my weight.
that must have broke your heart :( I'm so sorry you had to go through that
Load More Replies... My favorite: If you don't like how I do , do it yourself. Either way, I win. "That's okay, you are going fine." and the griping stops. Or, my oldest son took over laundry and ironed his own clothes because he didn't like how I was doing it. Win!
Ladies whenever your man says something derogatory about your looks, weight, attitude or whatever usually just say back "Really? I don't hear anyone else complaining but you. Maybe your the one with the problem(s) not me". Works every time to shut them up. Makes them think.
Isn't that as intentionally cruel? If you are going to say something it should be truthful and assertive, not passive aggressive. Don't let them get away with it but also don't make it into a one-upping situation.
Load More Replies... Humans should live two lives. At the end of the first life go into a chrysalis, then later emerge - with all memories intact - for the second life - as a member of the opposite sex to the first life
Can we perhaps start a post about all the vicious, vile, bitchy things that woman have said to their husbands?? Just to even out the score a little and quit the tedious, "all men are bastards" line that Bored Panda seems to promote a tad too often?!
I agree with your point, Mark, but I didn't read this article from an "all men" perspective. These are just some men. And I have no issue with your suggestion either, and second it; there should be equal time. The more we speak to one another, the more we understand one another.
Load More Replies... Can we please stop ignoring how 95% of the stories on this page that have to do with horrible/unacceptable/ignorant/shocking behavior are about men?
Yeah, someone's gonna start a post that focuses on women's bad behavior
Load More Replies... Seriously, Ryan, there is no need for you to continue commenting like this; we get it...you have no understanding of women.
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