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40 People Share The Funniest Things They Heard Someone Say In Their Sleep
If you've ever had the pleasure of living with a sleep-talker, you probably know how hilarious (or even creepy) the things they say tend to be. But probably the most intriguing and strange thing about this whole concept is that, to this day, doctors and psychologists still don't have much information on what it is and why some people are prone to engage in it.
However, the lack of knowledge surrounding the topic of sleep-talking doesn't make it any less funny—various popular forums, online groups, and social media platforms are full of folks sharing and discussing the best and most hilarious sleep-talking stories they've been lucky enough to encounter. Knowing that, we took the matter into our own hands to scan the interwebs and make a list out of the ones that have the most potential to crack you up.
With that being said, Bored Panda invites you to look through some of the most hilarious sleep-talking stories people shared online. And as always, don't forget to vote for the entries you liked the most and share your own stories in the comment section!
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LOL! My wife fell asleep on the kitchen chair when she finished her desert. I was making a night snack and went and nudged her to wake up. I went back to my snack. She shook her head and said to "Get off my feet!" Have no clue here...
I did this to my college roommates, but would respond in complete gibberish if they asked me a question. They were creeped out and amused because it ended with me "falling down," like a puppet with its strings cut.
My best friend did that once. When I asked him what was wrong, he said "shh, I'm downloading colours. And I am NOT SLEEPWALKING!!!!" Then went straight back to sleep.
My husband once brought his cows in for milking in his sleep, woke up to a slap on the backside and a "get on..."
I thought something was attacking my husband in his sleep so attacked and threw it out of the bed. It was his broken arm. Wonder if he forgave me out of love or fear.
According to my wife, I once sat upright in bed, raised the index finger and declared "I shall petition the E!" I am a lawyer, so yes, occupational dreams can be quite vivid
One time I woke up convinced I’d lost my arm because it was completely numb from me sleeping on it.
I remember having a dream in which there was a dog who attacked my mother. I did not see the dog, as in the dream I was not there for the event, but in my dream Mom, although unhurt, told me that a dog had attacked her. Right before I drifted out of that dream, I saw a large pitbull/boxer mixed breed a murmured "dog? What dog?" As the dog just calmly walked up a hiking trail towards us (we were in the mountains in the dream). When I woke up to no dog I was understandably very confused, and Mom, who had overheard me muttering in my sleep since we were in the same room staying at my aunt's house, was equally so.
Ironed potatoes and a tank called Tommie,where were you when you woke up?
He broke my 100 year old stained glass church window during a nightmare. Hurt his leg too.
That's cute. The most adventursome I was when I called from the store to ask why I was there in my PJ's. I had driven there! From then on if I went outside my husband checked to make sure I was awake.
Note: this post originally had 85 images. It’s been shortened to the top 40 images based on user votes.
As a kid at a sleepover, one of the girls started sleepwalking. We asked her what she was doing. "I have to give the hot cross buns to Jesus." We tried waking her up but it just made her more hysterical and she fought us off, because she REALLY needed to get those hot cross buns to Jesus.
I have two of these. One time my sister screamed in my mom's face in the middle of the night. My mom woke up and panicked while my sister and dad remained asleep. It's probably one of the funniest things she's done. Another time I went to sleep and around midnight, I unplugged all my devices(phone, laptop, iPad) and even put on my glasses. I walked downstairs and freaked the heck out of my dad who was the only one down there. I have yet to live that down.
Me: immediately upvotes because I see a wings of fire username
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I once woke myself up because I made it out of my room, down the stairs, and ran into the glass sliding door into the backyard. I was six at the time. I sleepwalked a lot, I also often found myself in the kitchen, and once, in a package of Oreos.
I want to thank all the posters for the out loud laughs you gave me on a really bad day!!
My ex husband used to talk in his sleep. The best one was him giggling like a loon and saying "girls, girls! There's enough of me for EVERYONE!"
My husband is quite sweet in his sleep...sometimes he rolls over to me at night, puts a hand on my chest and says "my boobies" 😁 once he turned around, pulled me over to him and said "you are my sweetheart".
My hubby is a active sleep talker. One night three years ago, he woke me up growling and snarling. I yelled, "Hon, hon wake up!" He got out of bed, snarling low and said in this creepy ass voice, "Its behind you. Jongazire liiikes you." He winked, giggled and went back to sleep. Needless to say, I spent the night drinking coffee with the lights on
My friend's brother once came out of his room while we were in her kitchen. He was going, "vrrr, mRRRRR, vrrrrr" and had his hands out in front of him like he was holding something. We realized he was "driving" in his sleep! I guess he heard us laughing because he came and stood in front of the counter. He braked first, "neeee putt-putt-putt screeech" then went, "Hello? Is this Taco Bell?" She told him it was, but we were closed. So he put himself back in gear and "drove away". Then there was the time I (still sleeping) sat up around 2am, glared at my still awake friend and said, "Give me Mountain Dew!" When she said no, I punched her right in the nose and continued sleeping.
My husband is an active talker during his dreams. One time (he was in the military then) he woke me up in one of his dreams to take notes on how to approach the enemy. When I told him the next morning that we should approach from the south, he couldn't remember a thing. Happy that he never dreamed that I was the enemy though
once when i was little, my mom said she heard me say "but i don't want half, and you don't get half either... no... i want all of it..." no idea what "it" is
I went camping with my family one time, my two uncles shared a tent. I was up and bored when i heard my one of my uncles yell in his sleep "THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!" my other uncle was still awake so he said "well then you better get out". My sleeping uncle then replied "NO, i need to protect my Cheetos!". i couldn't hold my laugh in!
It´s a though world. A dude has to protect the Cheetos. It´s all fair... :)
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Once at my grandparents' house, my sister woke up to find me sitting up in bed all hunched up rocking back and forth muttering nonsense. At some point l shrieked, "Lock the doors, they're here!" and when she asked who, I giggled and said, "The muffins silly!" then proceeded to snore. I'm pretty sure I'm possessed at this point.
Dreamt my ex-boyfriend was in a wreck and he died. No one seemed to be mourning him. I woke him up and told him about it. The next day he was in a wreck. Only broke the car mirror. My face went white when his mother told me.
If I deamed something bad three times it often came true.I tell the person ,pray for them and it happened exactly the way I dreamed it. I'm grateful I rarely have them.
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Not a sleepwalking experience but the other night I had a really weird dream. In it I went to someone’s house and they had four cats named Tyler, Josh, Bandito, and.... Judgo. They were all tøp references, judgo apparently being a play on the song “the judge.” In the dream, I thought the name Judgo was brilliant. This dream then abruptly ended and was followed by a graphic depiction of a girl’s eyes being pulled out and her dead face bleeding into a fountain
Did not see that last bit coming
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Mom: Are you awake? 10 year old me: Yes Mom: Are you sure? Me: Yes Mom: What's 2+3? Me: Laughs hysterically.
One time my brother once said "I DONT WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE" really loudly.
And another time he walked to my moms and dads room mumbling something about his AirPods and then after the said that he left, taped his phone( literally tapped the Screen once. He didn't even turn it on) and walked back to his room and went to sleep.
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I used to sleepwalk a lot. My favorite situation was when my boyfriend went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Apparently I followed him like 20 seconds later, opened the door to the bathroom and shouted "It's occupied!!" (like I was the one in there), closed the door and walked back to bed.
Poor guy. Properbly hit anything ells but the wc-bowl, out of surprice.... Does he have PTDS now?
Load More Replies... One time when I was sleeping in a tent with my best friend, I warned her that I sometimes sleep talk when I sleep somewhere other than my own bed. She said ok, and that she would wake me up if I did. Some time around 1 am, she shakes me half awake and tells me I was saying something about otters bathing in pesto. I reply with “fourth moons and fire balls!” And roll over and go back to sleep. She told me about this in the morning and we were both in hysterics. Another time, on my first guides sleepover, I was half awake and muttering something about strawberry jam. The person next to me tells me to shut up and go to sleep. I say “ok” and do just that. A few hours later, I wake up yelling “TELEVISION OWLS!!!”. My younger brother also talks in his sleep, and last month mum told me that he said “a duck. Just a duck. One or two ducks. Maybe ones a ham, maybe ones a bacon. I don’t know,” so now whenever we see more than one duck, he names them ham and bacon, and watches them for like an hour
"Fourth moons and fire balls!" <3 Referencing Wings of Fire while half asleep... that's next level!
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I had no idea I screamed in my sleep until I once woke up mid-scream. (I had a really traumatic childhood.)
Oh, that's awful... I hope you feel better now. <3
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My ex once said in her sleep "well what do you expect if you keep a giraffe in the house" and it took my entire power of being to not wake her up with my giggling fit
Once while on vacation, I was having a dream about working with a team of random people to rob neon colored plushies and other various things from a gas station. (Apparently my subconscious has a rather flawed idea of what is sold at gas stations.) Anyway, when I woke up, my mom asked me, "What's 'Gehh i eh blaaar'"? I laughed, then though about it for a minute. Right before I woke up, we'd all run out of the gas station, and I'd shouted "GET IN THE CAR!" (This actually inspired me to start writing a whole story about a group of people on the run... Anyway, yeah.) =D
My youngest use to have night terrors. Most of them were a little scary, but I was able to calm him down well. One night however, he let out the loudest "I'm terrified" scream, and when I went into his room I couldn't find him. Went through the house screaming for him and looking for him, get on the phone to the police, and I notice a piece of his blanket coming from his toy box. Opened it up and he was staring straight up and started screaming again. Cops did do a well check, and it is now a funny story I use to make him laugh whenever he gets down.
My sister: Ok, I'll have one more! Me: One more what? Sis: One more jailbreak. Me: Huh? Sis: You know, Thin Lizzy? Me: What about them? Sis: The ghost runs that way... She woke herself up and looked at me and said "I have no clue what I'm talking about!" Ya think?
This made me giggle. My husband does weird stuff once and a while and my 12 year old used to do a LOT of weird stuff, but I am the one who active dreams and always have. I sleep walk and talk. some favorites from when I was a kid were having an argument with my brother (both asleep) at 3 am about what was for dinner, he said chicken and I said beef and we kept yelling back and forth till our mom came out and told us we were having spaghetti LOL. I once got up got dressed grabbed my backpack and went out in 30 degree weather to wait for the school bus at 3 am... My mom had come down the stairs as I was heading out the door. Another night my mom kept hearing Whump Whump Whump against my bedroom door... she opened my door to promptly get his in the face with a stuffed animal, apparently I told her I was trying to keep the rooster away (we had a particularly nasty rooster at the time). I take out my earring and take off my rings in my sleep too.
More recently I was asleep next to my husband and told him to tell his God Damn Dinosaur to move as it was in my way.
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My partner plays out his dreams. One night he dreamt he was trying to pick up potatoes, and woke up on the floor trying to pick up the carpet.
My favourite story about my daughter talking in her sleep is at age 7 or 8, dead asleep, bolts up and yells 'DINOSAURS! WALKING WITH DINOSAURS!' Flops back down and nothing more (this kid has loved dinosaurs since she was 2 and we were going to walking with dinosaurs....but not for another four months). She is generally incomprehensible while sleep talking, and sometimes very creepy
I'm a lucid dreamer, sleep walker and sleep talker. I've said weird things like pickles, and cried. I've been found halfway out of bed and felt Phantom finger and touched on my body. I'm the ultimate sleeper. Bow before me.
Apparently I once spent two or three minutes trying to convince my bunkmate on a school trip that there was a dog breed called Bellenbeißer (barkbiter). I was unsuccessful.
I sometimes talk in my sleep and the worst time must have been when my ex was starting a new job the next day and I mumbled in my sleep over and over again "you're going to miss the bus". He didn't sleep that night..
My bf once grabbed me by the chin/cheeks with his hand. In a panic he asked "DID YOU TURN OFF THE OVEN?!" Me: "Yes?" Him: "Oh good!" He was not awake. The oven had not been turned on that day. Or the day before that! I couldn't stop laughing. He also once just yelled "0-1 FOR THE HOME TEAM!!"
Apparently I once pushed my ex out of bed, caught her mid air, before she hit the floor and tucked her back in. And this while somehow managing to stay fast asleep.
I used to work in a call centre for a major satellite TV company that was bought by a major telecom company. One night, shortly after the acquisition was completed, I sat bolt upright in bed and answered an imaginary call, albeit with a slight twist... "Thank you for calling (Company)'s premium care team for (TV service), this is Scott, kindly go f*** yourself," promptly laid back down and kept snoring. Didn't recall a bit of it until my girlfriend at the time told me the next morning.
LOL I don´t hope you got a write up for being rude to the caller. :D
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An ex of mine used to regularly give me black eyes, he would mumble in his sleep and lift his arm straight up in the air, then his arm would flop onto my face. Several people asked if I was being abused, which was really sweet of them.
My late wife never moved around a lot while sleeping, but one night in 2005, I woke up very suddenly because her balled fist came down hard on my private parts. When I finally got air back in my lungs, I asked her what I had done to deserve that. She answered with her usual light snoring. When I told her the next morning, she wouldn't believe me. I had to show her my private parts where one ball was almost double in size and somewhat blue to look at. She was so scared of the risk she might do it again that she wouldn't sleep beside me for almost two weeks. But on that day (a quite normal thursday) I got spoiled beyond belief when returning from work, although it was actually my turn to do the dinner and all that.
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"But Cher is going to be there, right?" me asking my dad when i had fallen asleep during a long road trip.
My husband fell out of bed the other night (has never happened before) I said are you ok? What were you doing? He said I'm getting into bed 😂 He had no memory of it the next day and I spent the rest of the night and next day giggling when I thought about it 🤣🤣
As a teenager, I learned that if I wanted something, permission to go somewhere, etc. All I had to do was ask my mom while she was sleeping. It was easy to get the response I wanted, and worked almost flawlessly.
My mother told us if we got permission while she was sleeping or only barely awake, our punishment would be twice as bad.
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When I was 6 and me and my brother were super close like he was my best friend my hero close (he still kinda is my hero) we used to share a bed at the hotels and my brother (9) left the bed and started punching and kicking the air I confused sat up and stared at him make a fool of himself then he started yelling "You will not get past me I am the ultimate super RED RANGER (power ranger) back down tiny ninja" followed by my mother thinking he randomly awoken in the night to play power rangers or perhaps never went to bed so he could play says "Quiet people are sleeping you can play power rangers tomorrow" so my brother threw a few more punches at the ninjas and laid back on the bed
We were in Austria last year me and my sister had to share a bed ( Which I find a nightmare because she always ‘attacks’ me by coming closer to me and eventually I wake up with her on my side of the bed literally lying o top of me) and one morning/ dawn I was awake and reading (I had a nightmare of a man getting his head burnt off) and my sister she was calling for our mum and then I said her name like 10 times but she didn’t react she just carried on snoring lol. When I told my mum this later my sister was still asleep (thankfully) we both started laughing. My sister would have killed us if she were listening. Btw we are still kids.
My ex one time started thrashing wildly while yelling "SNAKES!!". Another time, he shook my shoulder, said "Footloose", and laid back down. Sometimes when I'm really tired, I'll start dreaming and talk as I'm drifting. I hear myself and then get confused because I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Makes me glad that all my husband does is lightly chuckle (he has mumbled a few times). Though when I was a teenager, my mom took my cousin and me on a trip. My cousin and I were in one room of the motel, she in another... she woke up late to hear us talking, and was about to fuss at us to go to sleep, when she realized we were having a conversation in our sleep. Never did tell us what it was about tho.
The hubs never remembers his dreams, but I remember them for him! He’s retired law enforcement so I’ve been commanded to do things in Spanish (which I understand, but am not fluent) quite a few times. He also answers if he starts talking and I respond. A few weeks ago, he went from super deep breathing and loud snoring for 4 hours to turning on his back and declaring, “Ugh! I just can’t sleep! I think I need cereal.” I was like, “Um, what exactly do you think you’ve been doing for the last 4 hours?” He answered, “Tossing and turning! I’m gonna go get cereal.” Turned back on his side and immediately began snoring again. I’m talking like the first snore was interrupted by him declaring he couldn’t sleep and then the second he turned on his side, it’s like he finally finished that interrupted snore. I laughed so hard. I had been awake the whole time. He hadn’t budged in FOUR hours, but apparently he thought he was restless.
Once woke up to my ex (much larger than me) ripping the pillow out from under my head, thinking I was his boss, he loudly and aggresively cussed me out. Needless to say, I slept on the floor the rest of the night. - The weird part is that he was always a really nice guy when he was awake. Pent up anger had to get out somehow, I guess?
When I was about 5 I had a summer camp trip to the zoo, where I met a baby tiger named Tara. Later that night my mom heard me talking in my sleep, saying 'Tara, Tara....you can tell Tara to kiss my ass!' I was a prolific sleepwalker/talker when I was younger. Another time I was convinced the clothes I needed for school were out in the car and I had to go get them, my grandfather stopped me from going outside in just a nightdress in February when it was likely -20°c
One time I had a dream....I TALKED LITTERALLY EVERYTHING I SAID IN THE DREAM CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH it was a zombie apocalypse dream...apparently (according to my sister) this happened like every night for a few days
I used to sleep walk as a teen. Into the bathroom. Take the bath mat, and lay down as close to the light as I could. I do remember my dad asking why I was there when he came to use the bathroom in the night. I said it keeps the bugs off. Another time I was told I was mimicking hulk hogan an ad pitching like a commercial for lama puffs. Because they are air puffed. Wtf
My dad once dreamt that he was playing tennis. Unfortunately he then whacked my mom in the stomach in the middle of the night.
My sister and I share a room, but one night, and I will never forget this, she sat up in bed, eyes open and shouted: “the crazy chickens are chasing me!” I busted out laughing, but then imagined what the chickens would look like and proceeded to stay awake for another couple hours. 🐔
http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/ A few years old but lots of recordings of the guys crazy sleep ramblings.
I low-key wish I had more stories like these. Active sleepers are both a blessing and a curse. I myself sleep talk sometimes, and one time even sleep walked. Most of the time I just cry in my sleep for some reason.
By the way, if you wanna hear that sleepwalking story, basically, my mom found 6-year-old me sleepwalking around my bedroom searching for something. When she asked me what was going on I apparently asked "where is the doll?". I'm fairly certain that the doll in question was a small one given to me by a friend of my mom, but needless to say, Mom put me back to bed.
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This reminds me of the time a few years back that I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water late at night while my brother was laying on the couch. When I entered he sat straight up, eyes closed and head forward, blindly reached out and gave a single pet to our cat laying on the back of the couch, and layed back down. There was also the time where he woke up while sleeping in the bunk above me, and while still half asleep, asked me where the entrance was. When I asked what entrance he meant, he kept repeating the question, then eventually gave a frustrated "never mind" and went back to sleep.
Well, I´m glad he did not stepp outside for the entrance. that would had gone down hill from there.
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LOL I have done some famous ones. Once when I was about five I came downstairs wander around the circle in our house three times walked into the living room and pulled my pants down and tried to go to the bathroom on the couch. In HS I got up about 3 am got fully dressed grabbed my backpack and walked out of the house. My mom was an insomniac so she followed me out I was standing at the end of the driveway in the snow with no coat. She asked me what I was doing and I told her I was waiting for the bus. She told me the bus was late so I should go back inside for a while. My brother and I were known to argue in our sleep. Our rooms were adjacent to each other and one night apparently we were arguing over what was for dinner, until our mom came into the hallway and told us we were haveing meatloaf LOL. I have tons more about me and a few about my son.
An ex of mine from many years back used to argue with her mother in her sleep... Her mother in the next room would argue back in her sleep. Every so often they'd literally spend several minutes yelling at each other in the dead of night. It was hilarious if not a bit unnerving. Mind you, off topic I know, but speaking of creepy - the first time our husky decided to howl in the middle of the night like a wolf, scared the crap out of me. We'd had him several years and not a peep but suddenly one night he decided to start up, I thought it was the Silent Hill siren for a few moments.
my little brother can pee wash his hands and walk when he is asleep so one time he was talking to me while I was sleep bout video games and then he went to the bathroom used it washed his hands opened the door and my step dad said why are you wake buddy and then my little brother said I can't find it and went to bed when my step dad looked inside.so much on the floor and the ceiling and walls. and we told him if he remembers talking to my stepdad he said no I was dreaming I was chasing a ginormous burger there was so much on the floor and the ceiling and walls.
My weirdest active sleep thing I've done is when I was six, I fell asleep in a onesie, mk, and then when I woke up I was naked and couldn't find my onesie. I felt like I had gone crazy, because I don't remember waking up and getting too hot. I just grabbed another pajama and went back to sleep.
My roomie in college was much more of a night owl then me and I would often fall asleep while we were talking. Sometimes I would keep talking... one night we were talking about boys and fast asleep I apparently told her what she was looking for was in aisle 11 at Walmart. We went and checked aisle 11 next time we went to a walmart and it was filled with cleaning supplies!
I once yelled out in my sleep...we had to look out for that car that was coming round the bend and was driven by our neighbours dog. And ended with thank God nobody recognized him because of the hat he was wearing. Must have been some dream I had back then.
Once, on a school excursion with overnight stay, I was soundly asleep, and one of my classmates had a hard time getting the zipper in his jeans closed. All of the sudden, I yelled: "well pull it up, damn you." and carried on sleeping. My classmate retorted somewhat sourly: What the hell do you think I'm trying to do, nutcase?" Then realised I was in deep sleep as he raised his eyes to look at me, and started to laugh hysterically. It took me about a week to figure out why everybody would suddenly shout Pull it up whenever I appeared in a room.
I share a room with my sister, and very often I will wake up to her laughing like a maniac. I’m also very paranoid that someone is watching me at all times. Then I think someone is in my room being creepy
Ha, I got one, too. One night, I rolled over and put my hand on my ex's leg. He goes: "HEY! Do you have permission for that? You need to ask the frame guy!" and points to the left. He was working in the movie industry, but still didn't know who the frame guy was
Just last night my husband woke me up to ask me to go shut off the light. The room was dark.
We have to sleep separate now because I got beat up so much due to whatever wacky dream he was having!
I don't have sleep paralysis , so I act out dreams almost every night. I also scream really loud. Two of the best that I can remember is my husband told me he had just rolled over in his sleep and we were face to face and I suddenly screamed "don't you f*cking touch her ". It scared the crap out of him. The other time I dreamt I was having a fight with my brother and I punched him in the face . I had actually sat up and punched the headboard. Luckily my husband was already awake and out of the room . He said I round house kicked him in the back this week
I was in the room one day when a girl who was taking a nap rolled over and said "you can get that cheaper at Walmart"
I had a classmate whose sister did something like this. She sat up and screamed “I love chocolate milk!” Then went right back to sleep.
I have talked in my sleep and walked in my sleep before. I almost never remember it, but my sister and I share a room so she tells me when I've done it. I've yelled in my sleep that "The big purple chicken is after me!" Recently, my sister was up late and she turned on the light. I got mad at her and was able to tell that the light was on (I wanted it off). However, I wasn't coherent enough to know what I was saying. So I aggressively told her to "lick the spoons" over and over again.
Once my dad said, "Ok Google, where can I learn liberts?" in his sleep. Also, we used to have to put blankets at the bottom of my brother's bed because he would roll out of bed every night. And apparently, my brother woke up on the opposite side of the bed he went to sleep on, with his pajamas on the floor across the room once.
As a kid at a sleepover, one of the girls started sleepwalking. We asked her what she was doing. "I have to give the hot cross buns to Jesus." We tried waking her up but it just made her more hysterical and she fought us off, because she REALLY needed to get those hot cross buns to Jesus.
I have two of these. One time my sister screamed in my mom's face in the middle of the night. My mom woke up and panicked while my sister and dad remained asleep. It's probably one of the funniest things she's done. Another time I went to sleep and around midnight, I unplugged all my devices(phone, laptop, iPad) and even put on my glasses. I walked downstairs and freaked the heck out of my dad who was the only one down there. I have yet to live that down.
Me: immediately upvotes because I see a wings of fire username
Load More Replies... I once woke myself up because I made it out of my room, down the stairs, and ran into the glass sliding door into the backyard. I was six at the time. I sleepwalked a lot, I also often found myself in the kitchen, and once, in a package of Oreos.
I want to thank all the posters for the out loud laughs you gave me on a really bad day!!
My ex husband used to talk in his sleep. The best one was him giggling like a loon and saying "girls, girls! There's enough of me for EVERYONE!"
My husband is quite sweet in his sleep...sometimes he rolls over to me at night, puts a hand on my chest and says "my boobies" 😁 once he turned around, pulled me over to him and said "you are my sweetheart".
My hubby is a active sleep talker. One night three years ago, he woke me up growling and snarling. I yelled, "Hon, hon wake up!" He got out of bed, snarling low and said in this creepy ass voice, "Its behind you. Jongazire liiikes you." He winked, giggled and went back to sleep. Needless to say, I spent the night drinking coffee with the lights on
My friend's brother once came out of his room while we were in her kitchen. He was going, "vrrr, mRRRRR, vrrrrr" and had his hands out in front of him like he was holding something. We realized he was "driving" in his sleep! I guess he heard us laughing because he came and stood in front of the counter. He braked first, "neeee putt-putt-putt screeech" then went, "Hello? Is this Taco Bell?" She told him it was, but we were closed. So he put himself back in gear and "drove away". Then there was the time I (still sleeping) sat up around 2am, glared at my still awake friend and said, "Give me Mountain Dew!" When she said no, I punched her right in the nose and continued sleeping.
My husband is an active talker during his dreams. One time (he was in the military then) he woke me up in one of his dreams to take notes on how to approach the enemy. When I told him the next morning that we should approach from the south, he couldn't remember a thing. Happy that he never dreamed that I was the enemy though
once when i was little, my mom said she heard me say "but i don't want half, and you don't get half either... no... i want all of it..." no idea what "it" is
I went camping with my family one time, my two uncles shared a tent. I was up and bored when i heard my one of my uncles yell in his sleep "THE HOUSE IS ON FIRE!!" my other uncle was still awake so he said "well then you better get out". My sleeping uncle then replied "NO, i need to protect my Cheetos!". i couldn't hold my laugh in!
It´s a though world. A dude has to protect the Cheetos. It´s all fair... :)
Load More Replies... Once at my grandparents' house, my sister woke up to find me sitting up in bed all hunched up rocking back and forth muttering nonsense. At some point l shrieked, "Lock the doors, they're here!" and when she asked who, I giggled and said, "The muffins silly!" then proceeded to snore. I'm pretty sure I'm possessed at this point.
Dreamt my ex-boyfriend was in a wreck and he died. No one seemed to be mourning him. I woke him up and told him about it. The next day he was in a wreck. Only broke the car mirror. My face went white when his mother told me.
If I deamed something bad three times it often came true.I tell the person ,pray for them and it happened exactly the way I dreamed it. I'm grateful I rarely have them.
Load More Replies... Not a sleepwalking experience but the other night I had a really weird dream. In it I went to someone’s house and they had four cats named Tyler, Josh, Bandito, and.... Judgo. They were all tøp references, judgo apparently being a play on the song “the judge.” In the dream, I thought the name Judgo was brilliant. This dream then abruptly ended and was followed by a graphic depiction of a girl’s eyes being pulled out and her dead face bleeding into a fountain
Did not see that last bit coming
Load More Replies... Mom: Are you awake? 10 year old me: Yes Mom: Are you sure? Me: Yes Mom: What's 2+3? Me: Laughs hysterically.
One time my brother once said "I DONT WANT TO GO TO COLLEGE" really loudly.
And another time he walked to my moms and dads room mumbling something about his AirPods and then after the said that he left, taped his phone( literally tapped the Screen once. He didn't even turn it on) and walked back to his room and went to sleep.
Load More Replies... I used to sleepwalk a lot. My favorite situation was when my boyfriend went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. Apparently I followed him like 20 seconds later, opened the door to the bathroom and shouted "It's occupied!!" (like I was the one in there), closed the door and walked back to bed.
Poor guy. Properbly hit anything ells but the wc-bowl, out of surprice.... Does he have PTDS now?
Load More Replies... One time when I was sleeping in a tent with my best friend, I warned her that I sometimes sleep talk when I sleep somewhere other than my own bed. She said ok, and that she would wake me up if I did. Some time around 1 am, she shakes me half awake and tells me I was saying something about otters bathing in pesto. I reply with “fourth moons and fire balls!” And roll over and go back to sleep. She told me about this in the morning and we were both in hysterics. Another time, on my first guides sleepover, I was half awake and muttering something about strawberry jam. The person next to me tells me to shut up and go to sleep. I say “ok” and do just that. A few hours later, I wake up yelling “TELEVISION OWLS!!!”. My younger brother also talks in his sleep, and last month mum told me that he said “a duck. Just a duck. One or two ducks. Maybe ones a ham, maybe ones a bacon. I don’t know,” so now whenever we see more than one duck, he names them ham and bacon, and watches them for like an hour
"Fourth moons and fire balls!" <3 Referencing Wings of Fire while half asleep... that's next level!
Load More Replies... I had no idea I screamed in my sleep until I once woke up mid-scream. (I had a really traumatic childhood.)
Oh, that's awful... I hope you feel better now. <3
Load More Replies... My ex once said in her sleep "well what do you expect if you keep a giraffe in the house" and it took my entire power of being to not wake her up with my giggling fit
Once while on vacation, I was having a dream about working with a team of random people to rob neon colored plushies and other various things from a gas station. (Apparently my subconscious has a rather flawed idea of what is sold at gas stations.) Anyway, when I woke up, my mom asked me, "What's 'Gehh i eh blaaar'"? I laughed, then though about it for a minute. Right before I woke up, we'd all run out of the gas station, and I'd shouted "GET IN THE CAR!" (This actually inspired me to start writing a whole story about a group of people on the run... Anyway, yeah.) =D
My youngest use to have night terrors. Most of them were a little scary, but I was able to calm him down well. One night however, he let out the loudest "I'm terrified" scream, and when I went into his room I couldn't find him. Went through the house screaming for him and looking for him, get on the phone to the police, and I notice a piece of his blanket coming from his toy box. Opened it up and he was staring straight up and started screaming again. Cops did do a well check, and it is now a funny story I use to make him laugh whenever he gets down.
My sister: Ok, I'll have one more! Me: One more what? Sis: One more jailbreak. Me: Huh? Sis: You know, Thin Lizzy? Me: What about them? Sis: The ghost runs that way... She woke herself up and looked at me and said "I have no clue what I'm talking about!" Ya think?
This made me giggle. My husband does weird stuff once and a while and my 12 year old used to do a LOT of weird stuff, but I am the one who active dreams and always have. I sleep walk and talk. some favorites from when I was a kid were having an argument with my brother (both asleep) at 3 am about what was for dinner, he said chicken and I said beef and we kept yelling back and forth till our mom came out and told us we were having spaghetti LOL. I once got up got dressed grabbed my backpack and went out in 30 degree weather to wait for the school bus at 3 am... My mom had come down the stairs as I was heading out the door. Another night my mom kept hearing Whump Whump Whump against my bedroom door... she opened my door to promptly get his in the face with a stuffed animal, apparently I told her I was trying to keep the rooster away (we had a particularly nasty rooster at the time). I take out my earring and take off my rings in my sleep too.
More recently I was asleep next to my husband and told him to tell his God Damn Dinosaur to move as it was in my way.
Load More Replies... My partner plays out his dreams. One night he dreamt he was trying to pick up potatoes, and woke up on the floor trying to pick up the carpet.
My favourite story about my daughter talking in her sleep is at age 7 or 8, dead asleep, bolts up and yells 'DINOSAURS! WALKING WITH DINOSAURS!' Flops back down and nothing more (this kid has loved dinosaurs since she was 2 and we were going to walking with dinosaurs....but not for another four months). She is generally incomprehensible while sleep talking, and sometimes very creepy
I'm a lucid dreamer, sleep walker and sleep talker. I've said weird things like pickles, and cried. I've been found halfway out of bed and felt Phantom finger and touched on my body. I'm the ultimate sleeper. Bow before me.
Apparently I once spent two or three minutes trying to convince my bunkmate on a school trip that there was a dog breed called Bellenbeißer (barkbiter). I was unsuccessful.
I sometimes talk in my sleep and the worst time must have been when my ex was starting a new job the next day and I mumbled in my sleep over and over again "you're going to miss the bus". He didn't sleep that night..
My bf once grabbed me by the chin/cheeks with his hand. In a panic he asked "DID YOU TURN OFF THE OVEN?!" Me: "Yes?" Him: "Oh good!" He was not awake. The oven had not been turned on that day. Or the day before that! I couldn't stop laughing. He also once just yelled "0-1 FOR THE HOME TEAM!!"
Apparently I once pushed my ex out of bed, caught her mid air, before she hit the floor and tucked her back in. And this while somehow managing to stay fast asleep.
I used to work in a call centre for a major satellite TV company that was bought by a major telecom company. One night, shortly after the acquisition was completed, I sat bolt upright in bed and answered an imaginary call, albeit with a slight twist... "Thank you for calling (Company)'s premium care team for (TV service), this is Scott, kindly go f*** yourself," promptly laid back down and kept snoring. Didn't recall a bit of it until my girlfriend at the time told me the next morning.
LOL I don´t hope you got a write up for being rude to the caller. :D
Load More Replies... An ex of mine used to regularly give me black eyes, he would mumble in his sleep and lift his arm straight up in the air, then his arm would flop onto my face. Several people asked if I was being abused, which was really sweet of them.
My late wife never moved around a lot while sleeping, but one night in 2005, I woke up very suddenly because her balled fist came down hard on my private parts. When I finally got air back in my lungs, I asked her what I had done to deserve that. She answered with her usual light snoring. When I told her the next morning, she wouldn't believe me. I had to show her my private parts where one ball was almost double in size and somewhat blue to look at. She was so scared of the risk she might do it again that she wouldn't sleep beside me for almost two weeks. But on that day (a quite normal thursday) I got spoiled beyond belief when returning from work, although it was actually my turn to do the dinner and all that.
Load More Replies... "But Cher is going to be there, right?" me asking my dad when i had fallen asleep during a long road trip.
My husband fell out of bed the other night (has never happened before) I said are you ok? What were you doing? He said I'm getting into bed 😂 He had no memory of it the next day and I spent the rest of the night and next day giggling when I thought about it 🤣🤣
As a teenager, I learned that if I wanted something, permission to go somewhere, etc. All I had to do was ask my mom while she was sleeping. It was easy to get the response I wanted, and worked almost flawlessly.
My mother told us if we got permission while she was sleeping or only barely awake, our punishment would be twice as bad.
Load More Replies... When I was 6 and me and my brother were super close like he was my best friend my hero close (he still kinda is my hero) we used to share a bed at the hotels and my brother (9) left the bed and started punching and kicking the air I confused sat up and stared at him make a fool of himself then he started yelling "You will not get past me I am the ultimate super RED RANGER (power ranger) back down tiny ninja" followed by my mother thinking he randomly awoken in the night to play power rangers or perhaps never went to bed so he could play says "Quiet people are sleeping you can play power rangers tomorrow" so my brother threw a few more punches at the ninjas and laid back on the bed
We were in Austria last year me and my sister had to share a bed ( Which I find a nightmare because she always ‘attacks’ me by coming closer to me and eventually I wake up with her on my side of the bed literally lying o top of me) and one morning/ dawn I was awake and reading (I had a nightmare of a man getting his head burnt off) and my sister she was calling for our mum and then I said her name like 10 times but she didn’t react she just carried on snoring lol. When I told my mum this later my sister was still asleep (thankfully) we both started laughing. My sister would have killed us if she were listening. Btw we are still kids.
My ex one time started thrashing wildly while yelling "SNAKES!!". Another time, he shook my shoulder, said "Footloose", and laid back down. Sometimes when I'm really tired, I'll start dreaming and talk as I'm drifting. I hear myself and then get confused because I have no idea what I'm talking about.
Makes me glad that all my husband does is lightly chuckle (he has mumbled a few times). Though when I was a teenager, my mom took my cousin and me on a trip. My cousin and I were in one room of the motel, she in another... she woke up late to hear us talking, and was about to fuss at us to go to sleep, when she realized we were having a conversation in our sleep. Never did tell us what it was about tho.
The hubs never remembers his dreams, but I remember them for him! He’s retired law enforcement so I’ve been commanded to do things in Spanish (which I understand, but am not fluent) quite a few times. He also answers if he starts talking and I respond. A few weeks ago, he went from super deep breathing and loud snoring for 4 hours to turning on his back and declaring, “Ugh! I just can’t sleep! I think I need cereal.” I was like, “Um, what exactly do you think you’ve been doing for the last 4 hours?” He answered, “Tossing and turning! I’m gonna go get cereal.” Turned back on his side and immediately began snoring again. I’m talking like the first snore was interrupted by him declaring he couldn’t sleep and then the second he turned on his side, it’s like he finally finished that interrupted snore. I laughed so hard. I had been awake the whole time. He hadn’t budged in FOUR hours, but apparently he thought he was restless.
Once woke up to my ex (much larger than me) ripping the pillow out from under my head, thinking I was his boss, he loudly and aggresively cussed me out. Needless to say, I slept on the floor the rest of the night. - The weird part is that he was always a really nice guy when he was awake. Pent up anger had to get out somehow, I guess?
When I was about 5 I had a summer camp trip to the zoo, where I met a baby tiger named Tara. Later that night my mom heard me talking in my sleep, saying 'Tara, Tara....you can tell Tara to kiss my ass!' I was a prolific sleepwalker/talker when I was younger. Another time I was convinced the clothes I needed for school were out in the car and I had to go get them, my grandfather stopped me from going outside in just a nightdress in February when it was likely -20°c
One time I had a dream....I TALKED LITTERALLY EVERYTHING I SAID IN THE DREAM CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH it was a zombie apocalypse dream...apparently (according to my sister) this happened like every night for a few days
I used to sleep walk as a teen. Into the bathroom. Take the bath mat, and lay down as close to the light as I could. I do remember my dad asking why I was there when he came to use the bathroom in the night. I said it keeps the bugs off. Another time I was told I was mimicking hulk hogan an ad pitching like a commercial for lama puffs. Because they are air puffed. Wtf
My dad once dreamt that he was playing tennis. Unfortunately he then whacked my mom in the stomach in the middle of the night.
My sister and I share a room, but one night, and I will never forget this, she sat up in bed, eyes open and shouted: “the crazy chickens are chasing me!” I busted out laughing, but then imagined what the chickens would look like and proceeded to stay awake for another couple hours. 🐔
http://sleeptalkinman.blogspot.com/ A few years old but lots of recordings of the guys crazy sleep ramblings.
I low-key wish I had more stories like these. Active sleepers are both a blessing and a curse. I myself sleep talk sometimes, and one time even sleep walked. Most of the time I just cry in my sleep for some reason.
By the way, if you wanna hear that sleepwalking story, basically, my mom found 6-year-old me sleepwalking around my bedroom searching for something. When she asked me what was going on I apparently asked "where is the doll?". I'm fairly certain that the doll in question was a small one given to me by a friend of my mom, but needless to say, Mom put me back to bed.
Load More Replies... This reminds me of the time a few years back that I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water late at night while my brother was laying on the couch. When I entered he sat straight up, eyes closed and head forward, blindly reached out and gave a single pet to our cat laying on the back of the couch, and layed back down. There was also the time where he woke up while sleeping in the bunk above me, and while still half asleep, asked me where the entrance was. When I asked what entrance he meant, he kept repeating the question, then eventually gave a frustrated "never mind" and went back to sleep.
Well, I´m glad he did not stepp outside for the entrance. that would had gone down hill from there.
Load More Replies... LOL I have done some famous ones. Once when I was about five I came downstairs wander around the circle in our house three times walked into the living room and pulled my pants down and tried to go to the bathroom on the couch. In HS I got up about 3 am got fully dressed grabbed my backpack and walked out of the house. My mom was an insomniac so she followed me out I was standing at the end of the driveway in the snow with no coat. She asked me what I was doing and I told her I was waiting for the bus. She told me the bus was late so I should go back inside for a while. My brother and I were known to argue in our sleep. Our rooms were adjacent to each other and one night apparently we were arguing over what was for dinner, until our mom came into the hallway and told us we were haveing meatloaf LOL. I have tons more about me and a few about my son.
An ex of mine from many years back used to argue with her mother in her sleep... Her mother in the next room would argue back in her sleep. Every so often they'd literally spend several minutes yelling at each other in the dead of night. It was hilarious if not a bit unnerving. Mind you, off topic I know, but speaking of creepy - the first time our husky decided to howl in the middle of the night like a wolf, scared the crap out of me. We'd had him several years and not a peep but suddenly one night he decided to start up, I thought it was the Silent Hill siren for a few moments.
my little brother can pee wash his hands and walk when he is asleep so one time he was talking to me while I was sleep bout video games and then he went to the bathroom used it washed his hands opened the door and my step dad said why are you wake buddy and then my little brother said I can't find it and went to bed when my step dad looked inside.so much on the floor and the ceiling and walls. and we told him if he remembers talking to my stepdad he said no I was dreaming I was chasing a ginormous burger there was so much on the floor and the ceiling and walls.
My weirdest active sleep thing I've done is when I was six, I fell asleep in a onesie, mk, and then when I woke up I was naked and couldn't find my onesie. I felt like I had gone crazy, because I don't remember waking up and getting too hot. I just grabbed another pajama and went back to sleep.
My roomie in college was much more of a night owl then me and I would often fall asleep while we were talking. Sometimes I would keep talking... one night we were talking about boys and fast asleep I apparently told her what she was looking for was in aisle 11 at Walmart. We went and checked aisle 11 next time we went to a walmart and it was filled with cleaning supplies!
I once yelled out in my sleep...we had to look out for that car that was coming round the bend and was driven by our neighbours dog. And ended with thank God nobody recognized him because of the hat he was wearing. Must have been some dream I had back then.
Once, on a school excursion with overnight stay, I was soundly asleep, and one of my classmates had a hard time getting the zipper in his jeans closed. All of the sudden, I yelled: "well pull it up, damn you." and carried on sleeping. My classmate retorted somewhat sourly: What the hell do you think I'm trying to do, nutcase?" Then realised I was in deep sleep as he raised his eyes to look at me, and started to laugh hysterically. It took me about a week to figure out why everybody would suddenly shout Pull it up whenever I appeared in a room.
I share a room with my sister, and very often I will wake up to her laughing like a maniac. I’m also very paranoid that someone is watching me at all times. Then I think someone is in my room being creepy
Ha, I got one, too. One night, I rolled over and put my hand on my ex's leg. He goes: "HEY! Do you have permission for that? You need to ask the frame guy!" and points to the left. He was working in the movie industry, but still didn't know who the frame guy was
Just last night my husband woke me up to ask me to go shut off the light. The room was dark.
We have to sleep separate now because I got beat up so much due to whatever wacky dream he was having!
I don't have sleep paralysis , so I act out dreams almost every night. I also scream really loud. Two of the best that I can remember is my husband told me he had just rolled over in his sleep and we were face to face and I suddenly screamed "don't you f*cking touch her ". It scared the crap out of him. The other time I dreamt I was having a fight with my brother and I punched him in the face . I had actually sat up and punched the headboard. Luckily my husband was already awake and out of the room . He said I round house kicked him in the back this week
I was in the room one day when a girl who was taking a nap rolled over and said "you can get that cheaper at Walmart"
I had a classmate whose sister did something like this. She sat up and screamed “I love chocolate milk!” Then went right back to sleep.
I have talked in my sleep and walked in my sleep before. I almost never remember it, but my sister and I share a room so she tells me when I've done it. I've yelled in my sleep that "The big purple chicken is after me!" Recently, my sister was up late and she turned on the light. I got mad at her and was able to tell that the light was on (I wanted it off). However, I wasn't coherent enough to know what I was saying. So I aggressively told her to "lick the spoons" over and over again.
Once my dad said, "Ok Google, where can I learn liberts?" in his sleep. Also, we used to have to put blankets at the bottom of my brother's bed because he would roll out of bed every night. And apparently, my brother woke up on the opposite side of the bed he went to sleep on, with his pajamas on the floor across the room once.
