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Bride Goes Into Hysterics After Bridesmaid Refuses To Get A Matching Tattoo With Her And Encourages Others To Drop Out Too
Some people will go to any length to design the perfect wedding. They have a concept for every little detail, from decorations to music, venues, and clothing. But the one thing most weddings also have are other people. And they generally can’t be molded and modified as easily as, say, a cake or bouquet.
However, this inconvenient fact isn’t quite enough to stop a certain kind of person. One internet user shared her story with a bride-to-be, her future sister-in-law, who had her own concept for her ideal wedding. Unfortunately for most people involved, this concept envisioned all the bridesmaids getting identical tattoos before the ceremony.
RELATED:
Even the most massive, overplanned weddings don’t tend to involve permanent alterations to the guest’s bodies
Image credits: Pavel Danilyuk (not the actual photo)
A woman shared her story about helping with her brother’s wedding
Her SIL-to-be really wanted to go all out for the occasion
Image credits: Katelyn MacMillan (not the actual photo)
So she offered to help but ended up slightly overwhelmed by responsibilities in her own life
Image credits: Ibrahim Boran (not the actual photo)
So she was somewhat out of the loop when she met the other bridesmaids at a tattoo parlor
Image credits: Allef Vinicius (not the actual photo)
Faced with getting a tattoo, she chose to back out
Image credits: Álvaro CvG (not the actual photo)
In the end, it seems she wasn’t the only one who had some doubts
Image credits: Chris Dickens (not the actual photo)
Image credits: CoralMansion
People in less stable relationships sometimes believe a perfect wedding will save it
We reached out to the team at Lisa Pleasent events to ask some questions about wedding planning expectations. We wanted to know how often a couple had to be talked down from completely unrealistic ideas. “Surprisingly, not very often. Most of our couples are pretty level-headed. Yes, there are some who demand more than humanly possible or who expect more than what our services offer, but for the most part, we have been lucky. The most common thing that we see is a couple who has a Champagne taste with a beer budget. Instead of focusing on the design aspects, we typically start out with building a “shell” of the event, meaning going through vendor details and what they cost, building a budget, and then reaching out for pricing. Looking at our working budget, they can see realistically how much they truly want to spend on design and decor. Sometimes it’s shocking how quickly that line gets eaten up, but at least then we are on a realistic plain when diving into those meetings.”
They also gave some advice to anyone currently in the process of planning and organizing a wedding. “Trusting that vendors truly care about their clients is key to the success of the whole planning process. Our industry is full of very genuine people who always go way above and beyond to make things happen, whether they are up front or behind the scenes, or even recognized. Listening to suggestions on how to have the perfect day is always best!”
The stress of wedding planning can often overshadow the pressure of getting married. While making an event is by no means easy, it’s important to remember that, mentally, getting married can also be a stressful idea. Despite divorce rates steadily increasing, most still prefer to think of marriage as a permanent institution. So any lingering questions about the strength of the relationship will compound the stress of planning a wedding. Research on newlyweds and brides-to-be shows that individuals with higher expectations of the ceremony also indicated lower satisfaction in their relationship.
As cliche as it sounds, these people might be trying to compensate through the idea that, if the ceremony is perfect, it might somehow fix their interpersonal relationship. Alternatively, they feel self-conscious and think everyone is secretly judging the relationship. So to have a ‘sub-par’ wedding would, in their eyes, tell the world they aren’t serious about the relationship. All of this just goes to show that a person should be able to find some joy by themselves before they commit to marriage.
There are alternatives to permanent tattoos, with some risks
Now, the compulsion to make the bridesmaids all get tattoos is veering into creepy and controlling. In some cultures, less permanent tattoos are made using a material called mehndi paste. These are traditionally applied to the bride and groom before the ceremony in places like India, Pakistan, Bangladesh, and Afghanistan. Both recipients will have complex patterns ‘painted’ on their skin, though it will last roughly two to three days. It can also be cleaned off faster using moisturizers and skin oils.
While these mehndi or henna tattoos are temporary, people should still be advised of some potential risks. The FDA has found that certain types of traditional henna possess PPD which can irritate the skin and leave red marks long after the dye fades. Some might also be allergic to it and have very negative reactions. But all in all, a proper ink tattoo will be longer lasting than any of these alternatives, making the SIL’s demands seem even more ludicrous. Most people struggle to decide on a tattoo just for themselves, so it’s doubtful that anyone actually wants a permanent tattoo depicting the marriage of a friend.
The comments were full of people voicing their shock at the bride and some wanted more details from OP
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What do you think ?
Elio 2 years ago
Well I'm glad that she didn't ask if she was an a$$hole for not wanting to get the matching tattoos. Glad the tattoo place was reasonable with not tattooing anyone with doubts and OP convinced a few people not to go through with it. It sucks enough to get an ex's name removed, but a commemorative tattoo in a highly visible area for someone else's wedding is such a bad idea. I don't have tattoos and if I started, it wouldn't be anything like that. Good luck to her brother and may he find a relationship with a sane person next time. So we have had matching tattoos, "you can't wear your hijab", lots of everyone must look the same. There's a lot of too fat to be a bridesmaid, some you can't be a bridesmaid because you're prettier than the bride, and I once saw a racism one of "can't be the bridesmaid if black, everyone must look the same."
Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
I have tattoos, and know several artists, I'm surprised the parlor agreed to do a party like this to begin with, and not surprised the owner shut it down. And, just an FYI, it's usually cheaper and ALWAYS easier to get a tattoo covered rather than removed. Small tattoos (I'm assuming size due to placement) can be from $60-$100 (generally), but removal is $1000s with multiple very painful trips that often don't completely remove the tat.
Load More Replies...
Jumping Jellyfishes 2 years ago
Kudos to that tattoo parlor for recognizing and refusing to ink anyone who had any doubts about the tattoo!
Seabeast 2 years ago (edited)
Anyone who dreams of a lavish and very expensive fairytale wedding because "It's the most important day of my life!!" is not ready to get married. Marriage, if you do it right, goes on for decades after the party has ended. The wedding should not be the most important day, it's just one day.
The Other Guest 2 years ago
Agreed. Years ago I read an article that basically said when a person (usually a woman) spends their growing-up-years dreaming about & planning the "perfect wedding," and how it'll be the "like a fairy tale!" they're setting themselves up for problems later. They often didn't consider the realities of married life, plus they can find themselves at a loss since they no longer have that major milestone to plan/anticipate. When you're only in your twenties with "the best day of my life!" behind you, the years stretching ahead of you can seem pretty dreary. And if your "perfect day" doesn't go as planned (and does *anyone's* wedding ever go exactly as planned?), and all those dreams come crashing down...yikes.
Load More Replies...
Sonja 2 years ago
If the couple is insanely rich, a 85k wedding is fine, but if one of them wants their 'fairytale' once in a lifetime wedding while both of them have to sacrifice their life savings that's absolutely insane and a huge red flag unless both are fully into it and even then, forcing strangers to get tattooed is far beyond reasonable. I might do it if I got paid. But it would cost six figures at least to make me tattooing another person's memento on my body!
Paul Rabit 2 years ago
Tattoo drama aside, WHERE was the brother in all of this?? Surely as a wedding takes on an $85k price tag, that would have been cause for in-depth conversation? Surely he would/should have taken part in AT LEAST the seating arrangements?? That’s some pretty big love blinders….eek
Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
Beyond the tattoo, cause I addressed that below, a freaking NEW DISHWASHER?!
Valerie Lessard 2 years ago
This is a hilarious and well written rollercoaster. It should be in a coffee table book about bridezillas
jdtimid123 2 years ago
I was starting to get annoyed with the tattoo place for not stepping in on that until I got to the part where the owner refused to tattoo someone that didn't want it. Good for them. I don't think they got it necessarily out of loyalty to her, even the maid of honor. I imagine it was more a combination of feeling pressured and getting wrapped up in the moment. Sometimes people make rash decisions when there's a lot going on, and someone who is already comfortable with having tattoos might say "why not one more?" I could see it happening. I wouldn't even necessarily mind having a matching tattoo with someone that I was close enough to to be the maid of honor. But maybe not THAT particular design. She should have just stopped at the rings or something.
Elio 2 years ago
Well I'm glad that she didn't ask if she was an a$$hole for not wanting to get the matching tattoos. Glad the tattoo place was reasonable with not tattooing anyone with doubts and OP convinced a few people not to go through with it. It sucks enough to get an ex's name removed, but a commemorative tattoo in a highly visible area for someone else's wedding is such a bad idea. I don't have tattoos and if I started, it wouldn't be anything like that. Good luck to her brother and may he find a relationship with a sane person next time. So we have had matching tattoos, "you can't wear your hijab", lots of everyone must look the same. There's a lot of too fat to be a bridesmaid, some you can't be a bridesmaid because you're prettier than the bride, and I once saw a racism one of "can't be the bridesmaid if black, everyone must look the same."
Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
I have tattoos, and know several artists, I'm surprised the parlor agreed to do a party like this to begin with, and not surprised the owner shut it down. And, just an FYI, it's usually cheaper and ALWAYS easier to get a tattoo covered rather than removed. Small tattoos (I'm assuming size due to placement) can be from $60-$100 (generally), but removal is $1000s with multiple very painful trips that often don't completely remove the tat.
Load More Replies... Jumping Jellyfishes 2 years ago
Kudos to that tattoo parlor for recognizing and refusing to ink anyone who had any doubts about the tattoo!
Seabeast 2 years ago (edited)
Anyone who dreams of a lavish and very expensive fairytale wedding because "It's the most important day of my life!!" is not ready to get married. Marriage, if you do it right, goes on for decades after the party has ended. The wedding should not be the most important day, it's just one day.
The Other Guest 2 years ago
Agreed. Years ago I read an article that basically said when a person (usually a woman) spends their growing-up-years dreaming about & planning the "perfect wedding," and how it'll be the "like a fairy tale!" they're setting themselves up for problems later. They often didn't consider the realities of married life, plus they can find themselves at a loss since they no longer have that major milestone to plan/anticipate. When you're only in your twenties with "the best day of my life!" behind you, the years stretching ahead of you can seem pretty dreary. And if your "perfect day" doesn't go as planned (and does *anyone's* wedding ever go exactly as planned?), and all those dreams come crashing down...yikes.
Load More Replies... Sonja 2 years ago
If the couple is insanely rich, a 85k wedding is fine, but if one of them wants their 'fairytale' once in a lifetime wedding while both of them have to sacrifice their life savings that's absolutely insane and a huge red flag unless both are fully into it and even then, forcing strangers to get tattooed is far beyond reasonable. I might do it if I got paid. But it would cost six figures at least to make me tattooing another person's memento on my body!
Paul Rabit 2 years ago
Tattoo drama aside, WHERE was the brother in all of this?? Surely as a wedding takes on an $85k price tag, that would have been cause for in-depth conversation? Surely he would/should have taken part in AT LEAST the seating arrangements?? That’s some pretty big love blinders….eek
Lizzie Lola 2 years ago
Beyond the tattoo, cause I addressed that below, a freaking NEW DISHWASHER?!
Valerie Lessard 2 years ago
This is a hilarious and well written rollercoaster. It should be in a coffee table book about bridezillas
jdtimid123 2 years ago
I was starting to get annoyed with the tattoo place for not stepping in on that until I got to the part where the owner refused to tattoo someone that didn't want it. Good for them. I don't think they got it necessarily out of loyalty to her, even the maid of honor. I imagine it was more a combination of feeling pressured and getting wrapped up in the moment. Sometimes people make rash decisions when there's a lot going on, and someone who is already comfortable with having tattoos might say "why not one more?" I could see it happening. I wouldn't even necessarily mind having a matching tattoo with someone that I was close enough to to be the maid of honor. But maybe not THAT particular design. She should have just stopped at the rings or something.
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