Dad Brings Up Sister’s Affair After She Tried To Convince His 11-Year-Old Daughter That She Shouldn’t Keep Pads In The Bathroom
Family can be complicated sometimes, and contrary to what some might want to believe, it doesn’t always have to be in a constant state of harmony. Things among family members can get messy, and that is usually completely understandable and natural. However, sometimes family members can also get unreasonable, to the point where “understandable” and “natural” do not really apply much anymore. That is typically the point where one can start to dissociate from the idea of family and begin looking at their uncooperative relative as if they were more of a stranger.
Whether such occasions remain temporary feuds or disagreements that last for years depend on many factors, but the important part is for them to be resolved one way or another, on one day, or some other. And that is the case not necessarily because of the importance of the “family” concept, but because people need as much peace and harmony as they can get. Reddit user u/saidtomysis got into a situation where that peace and harmony was most definitely lost, and that happened over something that is, in fact, very ordinary. After the original poster’s (OP’s) sister moved in to live with him after she had an affair, she was becoming annoyed with something extremely common in the house. Scroll down for the whole story.
More info: Reddit
Family feuds can truly get out of hand sometimes, even over the most basic of things
Image credits: Wolfmann
As mentioned earlier, peace and harmony is extremely important for people in their daily lives, especially when you have some around you who seemingly actively attempt to take that away from you. It is most frustrating, however, when these people are your family members. In the case of Reddit user u/saidtomysis, it is his sister who is disturbing his peace for the most bizarre reason.
The Reddit user explains that his sister and nephew were staying at his place after the sister was kicked out of her house due to an affair
Image credits: saidtomysis
As a lot of us can probably agree, family is important, and always needs support, no matter the failures its members can go through. In this case, OP’s sister was caught having an affair and he decided take her in, along with his nephew.
The troubles began when OP’s sister started having a problem with OP’s daughter keeping her pads in the bathroom
Image credits: saidtomysis
Now this is the part where things took a turn for the worse and quite unexpected. You’d probably think that personal hygiene, as a private matter, would be handled as the person is used to handling it, without some sort of inappropriate intervention. Well, OP’s sister stepped in to lecture his daughter about keeping her pads in the bathroom, where a lot of people would keep them anyways.
OP decided to confront his sister about the matter, but it didn’t go down well
Image credits: saidtomysis
It is probably understandable why OP thought he might’ve been wrong about the way he confronted his sister. After all, he hit just the right (or wrong) nerve. But at the same time, it is very much questionable whether his sister had even the slightest right to lecture his daughter in such a bizarre way, which could, and likely did make the daughter uncomfortable.
The comments section stood in unanimous support for OP
It is unsurprising that the comments sounded a fairly unanimous “NTA” call for OP, because all he was trying to do was to make sure that his daughter was comfortable, and his sister stopped being pushy regarding things you shouldn’t be pushy about. Long story short, if you have a problem with the body’s natural functions and a person’s basic sanitation habits, you can see yourself out.
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I'm 46 and this is genuinely the first time I've heard of anyone keeping sanitary products in any other room than the bathroom. How impractical!
What? You mean you don't keep them in the cellar behind a secret brick door that can only be opened under the light of the full moon after sacrificing a unicorn?
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I leave mine in the open, as 50 percent of my guests have periods too and might need one when visiting.
Yes, thanks. I've got some in our bathroom and also in the guest bathroom.
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The bathroom bin needs a lid. That's pretty much the only criteria for "hiding" sanitary products (and it's really for hygiene reasons, rather than offending sensibilities). OP's sister needs to get her head out of her a**e and her a**e out of OP's house
A lid on bathroom trash cans need to be washed regularly. Wrap your pads and tampons back in the wrapper after use when throwing away or wrap them in toilet paper. Also line your trash cans in a bin bag. Also you can leave biodegradable doggie poo bags by the toilet to put used products in
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wtf? And this is from a woman too? Jesus Christ, you'd think she'd be the one asking why there's no pads in the bathroom, not demanding they get hidden away like a dirty little secret.
I suspect there's already a generational difference between the siblings (19 years!), and possibly the sister doesn't need them anymore. Also, if she was the only girl in the house (OP only mentions brothers otherwise) then her mother might have taught her to hide her supplies so the little kids didn't play with them and waste them, or so that their mother didn't have to explain things to toddlers.
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My uncle (abusive jerk that he is) stood up for me once. My aunt is a high school dropout (at age 14) that still acts like she's in HS. When my mom made me live with them my aunt took away all my tampons because "you're not a virgin now that you've used them". I was 15 when she did this. She replaced them with giant pads that didn't fit in anyones pants. For real. Like 4in thick of pad. Long enough you could tuck them into your waistband. I lost it. My uncle took the pads and through them into the fireplace and told her to STFU and that it was none of her business. He bought my tampons after that and she was not happy but kept her mouth shut. The fight when she learned I shaved ~down there~ included a full lecture about "trying to lure pedos". Idk why she kept coming in while I was showering but she seemed more of a threat than any pedos. JS. I felt bad for her daughters.
even your uncle knows when they insane parenting goes too far, at least from this story, did your uncle ever get better?
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My view? These are a bathroom item, no big deal. But you must realize ---- using the generic impersonal "you plural" that English doesn't quite convey ---- these people do exist. My dad wouldn't even abide the word "period", had to have his own bathroom lest (I have no idea), and would change channels if a commercial came on for "women stuff" on TV. He had a wife and two daughters, and we were meant to hide everything. My older sister had to put her products in her bedroom and use them there even tho' our dad had his own bathroom that we were forbidden to use (but had to clean) so we could've used the main bath. It really made us feel shame, when there is none.
We had 4 teens (3F, 1M) plus my mom and dad sharing one (small) bathroom for most of my Jr/Sr high school years. We had NO storage space in the bathroom, save for a medicine cabinet over the sink (3 shelves about 3" deep and 12" long). We menstruating females all kept our supplies in the hallway in the linen cupboard. It worked out fine. The early Victorians did not build bathrooms indoors, let alone multiples! The house belonged to the church where my dad was pastor - no chance of a remodel!
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what!!! i was raised by a single father with a bunch of brothers- since i got my first period they have all been to the store to buy me pads etc, my dad changed sheets in my bed if i got it while sleeping, and i had my pads in the bathroom(and in the kitchen, and living room because i'm messy like that) and guess what? no one ever cared. my brothers had friends over all the time, no one even looked twice. what is wrong with people??! is it a cultural thing? i've NEVER heard of shaming or hiding menstruation where i'm from (sweden)
I was about to be like, what the hell? where do u come from that it isn't taboo and women don't get shamed? But Sweden, that makes sense. For the majority of the world, including America, yes women are very much shamed and men are terrified of menstrual products or even the subject being brought up. Literally they act like children around them. Except the rare men that have grown up emotionally, they are totally mature about it. The cultural perception is getting better, but really only in the last 10-20 years. A lot of old people will never change their views so I guess we have to wait for them to die lol. Sorry not sorry old people with Victorian views! They think the body in general is shameful and we should all be ashamed we have one 😂
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Another good reason for having tampons and pads openly in the bathroom is in case a guest has run out and needs to borrow one. It's just common sense. I don't think this is an age thing, I just think his sister is weird.
I agree. My daughter-in-law has horrible periods and even though I have gone through menopause I keep products on hand for her and my daughter. Also we have open conversation about it with my son and husband sitting next to us and if anyone needed any feminine hygiene products they would happily go to the store to get them. I made sure there was no shame in bodily functions in my home.
Load More Replies... In addition to my comment before. My "family" is Pentecostal. When I started my period at 9yrs they took away all toys. I was given an ankle length dress that buttoned all the way up (red, of course) to wear the week of and told I was not to ever again climb trees, run, sit in the grass, swing on the swing set, play with other children (but I could watch over them) and that I was an adult so I should act like it. My birthday is in summer. I started my period 2 weeks later. No summer fun for me. My mom coming in the bathroom and then crying hysterically is all I remember of that day. My grandmother had to physically remove her from the bathroom. I thought I was dying. One tiny spot of red and everything in my life was different. After I turned 12, I decided not to listen to them. I climbed trees. I ran. I wore pants. And I started collecting stuffed animals. And they wonder why I hate them all. I secretly educated their daughters out of spite too. And at the camp they sent me to.
Yeah, she's just ridiculous. My son keeps a mini first aid kit in his backpack and when he realized his friends were having periods started keeping a couple of pads and tampons in there too. I think he started that at 11 or 12. Thank the gods this younger generation isn't full of that kind of nonsense.
You're obviously raising a splendid young man.
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Are you supposed to hide it? Doesnt everyone keep it in the bathroom, where you use it? First time my sons girlfriend came to visit I showed her where I kept the tampons and pads in case she ever needed it. My bad
We keep our toilet paper in the bedrooms so that guests aren't exposed to the horror that some of us don't wear diapers and have bowel movements.
We really shouldn't have digestive systems, either I guess.
Load More Replies... Methinks the sister hasn't given her son "the talk" and doesn't want to, especially after what she did.
Funny this made me think of when my son discovered tampons he opened like 3 of them while he was in the bathroom then when he came out he was like hey mom what are these ! I had people over at the time so I just told him oh those are things that woman use its girl stuff. they are not for boys k. Let's not play with them. I planned to explain more later to him when we didn't have guests . But time went on I forgot so did he until one day we were at my sister's and he seen them again and asked my sister hey what are these for ? my mom has them too....? And she goes oh that's just something girls put in their vajj's when they are bleeding because it's their time of the month. 😲😳😅🤣 I couldn't even believe what I was hearing from the other room. My son was 9 years old at that time and he just goes oh ok . Then turned and put it back in the bathroom. Lol my brother inlaw and I looked at eachother. at first shocked but then we walked outside because we were laughing so hard we were crying lol ..
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Wow he had his daughter when he was 18. I do agree he's NTA. People need to get over this prude attitude when it comes to this stuff. I've gotten my wife pads countless times at the store. As long as I know what brand to get I'm fine getting them. No shame
My father, bless his memory, would do the same thing for me if I ran out and wasn't feeling well enough to leave the house to get them myself.
Load More Replies... I would be encouraging sis to start looking for alternate accommodations. This is a normal bodily function and she doesn't need to be 'schooling' a child that is not hers and also where she is completely wrong. What an ankle. I never hid important information from my kids and I saw sex education as important information. I made sure both of my kids had clear, factual information about the basic bodily functions of both sexes. I informed my daughter and son exactly the same and they never had to rely on schoolyard gossip to figure out what reality was. They set quite a few of their classmates straight as well.
This is always so weird to me. Even the oldest, most religious (preudish) people I visited growing up had pads and/or tampons in the bathroom. I have never visited a household where someone has periods that was without pads and/or tampons in the bathroom. And it's even better that way, aside from normalising people having periods, if a visitor needs something unexpectedly it's already there. And if you don't like looking at a pack of sanitary things get yourself a small cabinet to hang over the toilet, or a little mirror/medicine cabinet thingy. Being 48 years old in 2022 is definitely not an excuse to behave in such a manner
I'd never heard of not storing them in the bathroom until I read this.
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What the heck? Myself and my daughters keep ours (tampons) in pretty glass jars on a shelf in the bathrooms. Every bathroom, that way if they are needed we don't have to go to our designated restroom. And if we have guests they're always available. Sure they're not fun to look at but in a glass jar they look nicer. lol. Your sister OP is an idiot and she is projecting her anger.
NTA~~When Sis can control her foibles, then *maybe* she can make suggestions as to how the household is run. Until then, she can Staplegun her lips shut~~or she can borrow a pad...
It isn't age. She's a double standard prude who's also a s**t. Even though she may still be "raw" with her family's implosion, caused by her, she can't lash out at others with her rules when it's not even her home. If she has a problem with the house rules that don't conform to her standards, move! The brother did right, protecting her daughter.
Wow, never a thought that "bathroom products" couldn't be kept in the bathroom! Mine are in there, and I'm postmenopausal!
Guess I've been doing it wrong all those year. Who would have thought that something that is used in the bathroom should be stored in the bedroom. Guess I should store my laundry detergent in the living room or somewhere else so people don't know I have dirty laundry. Ewe me!
42 and always kept feminine hygiene in the bathroom. hell when i was a kid my mum kept her things in the cupboard that we all used. we just knew they were for her (until we were older of course) and we kept our hands off mum's things.
Period-shaming at it's best. It's not only men but, like here, also (older) women, who implements the idia that you have to be ashamed for something truly natural and thus to hide it in young girls mind! The sister is TA without doubt (but also a victim to her own bringing up, which taught her to hide such a "disgusting" body function).
My grandmother was like this. She didn't even really talk about periods with her daughters. There was a secret cabinet somewhere, the girls had to sneak in there, get a pad, hide it under their sweater etc, all hush hush and nobody could ever find out. She was born in 1933 in an extremely religious environment, so I kind of get that she was brought up in such a way (she's been gone for almost 20 years now btw), but a 48 y/o in 2022? No way that that's an excuse now. My mother and aunts always had everythign visible and ready in the bathroom, they talked openly about periods and whatnot. I think the first talk I had with my mother was at 7 or 8 years old. Just to make sure we (sisters and I) would never have to feel the way she did while she was younger
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OK women, you have to have a meeting about this and come back with a decision. Most posts I read about sanitary pads are about men so insecure with their masculinity that they refuse to buy them at the store for their SO and consider any discussion of bodily functions taboo. I was told this by other men, flabbergasted that I never put much thought into it and considered them just part of the shopping list. Now I read this and I have to wonder if it was their mamas or their papas that gave them this incomprehensible mental hung up. Everybody take a deep breath and repeat with me: They are just pads. No different than TP of Bounty paper towels. Everybody chill.
My husband refused to sleep in the same bed with me when I was on my period, back when we were first married 32 years ago.
Load More Replies... i think the "your a man so you wouldn't understand" is more b******t then actual s**t from a bull. i'm a man, and i understand well enough, NTA, i mean, come on, she can't judge on the way you parent either, everybody does it in different ways, your child, you get to say what's best for her.
what a woman. i store pads in the bathroom because the floor is easiest to clean if anything happens! also, people are more likely to be in your room than your bathroom..
You know what after a conversation like that I would put a box of pads in every room even in the kitchen next to the coffee pot!
The OP didn't do anything wrong. In fact, his sister needs to know her place. She's lucky that her brother took in her and her son after she screwed up. She should thank him for being a fantastic brother and stop trying to embarrass her niece for something that's perfectly natural.
Ffs she is a woman and being 49 she probably still has her periods. Where does she keep her top secret sanitary stuff?
Tell your sister it’s your house, your rules and she is a guest. If she doesn’t like it then she can gtfo. And just because she was shamed about her period does not mean she has the right to do it to your daughter. I’d be kicking her stupid ass out for that
NTA and it’s time your sister moves out. She created her own mess and now is trying to take over your household. Put a stop to it
Girl... I've got tampons everywhere! Lol. Glove compartment, coat pockets, cabinets, drawers, in my purse.... in my husbands truck... why should I hide them!? Idc if ppl know I'm on my period. That's their problem if they have an issue with it. Not mine. I can't help it. N believe me.. if I could I wouldn't have one... stop teaching young women that they should be ashamed of being a woman!
Did she really shut him up because he's a man and thus "never would understand"?! Nice of her to be sexist to both of the sexes. SMH
I don't get why someone would keep them in any other room. Speaking as a guy, I don't think I've ever notice them in a bathroom. That said though, if someone started giving my daughter a hard time like this I'd start putting them in every single room in my house. Then I'd tell my guest feel free to leave if they make her uncomfortable but sometimes a healthy young lady may need them so don't move them.
WTF...I don't even use pads or tampons, or have any friends who do (and visit my house) and I keep some under the sink "just in case" 🤷♀️ Not only is she trying to shame his daughter into a weird, very inconvenient habit, but she's clearly very hung up on the idea. I wonder if one or both of her parents shamed her for the same thing, or if her mother insisted that she keep them "secret" OP is doing the right thing for his child, and should tell his sister that she is not welcome to correct or 'parent' his daughter, and she should talk to him about any issues or concerns she has with daughters behavior.
This woman need to keep her comments to herself and quit disrespecting her brother, her niece, and HIS HOUSE! She lucky she has a place to stay considering her recent shenanigans! For her coming off so damn modest is quite hypocritical of her after stepping out of the sacred bond called marriage.
This woman would have a stroke if she sees my car LOL. I have tampons/pads in the door storage, glove box, an ER bag in the boot/under the seats. Not even the mechanics or carwash guys seem to raise an eyebrow...it's a woman's car, women have periods - sometimes at inconvenient times. I like to have them around for when myself or someone else needs it.
Omg, do you also sometimes pull a pair of jeans out of the washer to find a still wrapped but also sort of blown up tampon in one of the pockets? Or do spring cleaning and end up with a 2 month supply pulled from all the bags, clothes, drawers etc that you emptied out?
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FACT: PERIODS! WOMEN HAVE THEM! (They also have VAGINAS! 🤫😳). FACT: NOBODY CHANGES THEIR TAMPON IN THE BEDROOM. I mean, maybe some people do... You do you if you're those people, I don't know your circumstances... maybe your housemates are thieves, or your gender is none of their business.🤷🏻♀️ FACT: If people with ovaries occasionally occupy any given bathroom, appropriate hygiene products should be available in said bathroom. Soap, water, toilet paper, tampons/pads. Mad respect for this dad who is fighting for his daughter's vaginal validity. I hope auntie bleeds through on a bus.
I'm 69, live alone, and male and I keep pads and tampons in my bathroom. It's small so they're visible sitting right next to the extra rolls of toilet paper. More than one guest (both sexes) has complimented me on it but it's a no-brainer as far as I'm concerned.
She's projecting her thoughts about what she's done with regards to her own son. She was setting an example. She justified having an affair at the expense of her children. Narcissism tends to promote that sort of defense--externalization, deflection, and scapegoating--anything to avoid accountability or responsibility.
I have a 10 year old daughter and would be very pissed if my sisters spoke to me this way..especially in my house. She sounds like she has issues
So funny! When I clicked on this I thought the Dad was being the AH about the pads!! This woman's nerve is pretty amazing. It's his house, & his kid. U are a guest & really have no say. Unless she's just throwing the used ones in the Pail without wrapping them. I've seen people do that - it's pretty revolting- but I don't think that's the case here. It reminded me of my mom saying how when she was young the pads were kept behind the counter at the drugstore & u had to ask for them. They would bag it before handing to u so noone would see them😜 I think bringing up the affair was a bit rough but certainly fitting. Who is she to judge anyone on parenting??? I also think if she would've just let it go he would never have said it. And there's usually some sort of storage in any bathroom so she couldve just moved them there if it bothered her that much. NTA because she kind of pushed you to it. Kind of a strange hill to choose to die on🤔
What an entitled cow of a woman. I'd have shown her the door. The GALL to chastise a resident while a guest in their home.... unbelievable.
i have pads in all my bathroom every woman come on ther period i have three daughters they keep there pads in the bathroom when we have guest they use them as well he is doing a good job with his daughter his sister need mind her business if she do not like how he raise his daughter than she need get out she need fix her life before judge someone else life
I just assumed since it was a bathroom product it goes in the bathroom I am a dude who lived with two sisters and a mom I saw that s**t all the time it was as common as seeing soap.also imma keep it buck she had no right trying to lecture OP's daughter or OP he was standing up for his daughter and keeping it a buck if you gonna call someone a bad parent when you yourself just ruined a marriage and happy family by having an affair maaaybe stfu
Um I keep my pads in the bathroom! Most people do. When you go to a business or school where do they keep the tampon/ pad dispenser in the caffiteria? No they are in woman's bathrooms!!!! Glad you stuck up for your daughter because it's what was right! Her and her son are living in your house under your good graces! If you let that pad thing slide by the next thing you know she would of had complete control over your house! If she don't like the pads in the bathroom then she can go live on the streets where tons of trash is on the side of the road and who will she complain to about that? Um excuse me road but trash goes in a trash can! 🙄 She better thank her lucky stars you put a roof over her head! Period.
So I assume the sister totally expects any guests automatically are given the right to be going through you bathroom cabinets and medicine cabinets. I would put a mousetrap in them and let them explain where that big bruise on their finger came from.
Ah, the good old "you're an a-hole and you've hurt my feelings by pointing out that I'm an a-hole and I'm hurting your daughter. How dare you, I'm gonna go cry"
They are both AHs. She's an AH for shaming a developing child. They're embarrassed about everything already. Plus it's dumb. I bet it has more to do with having her 13 year old son living there and irrationally pretending girls don't grow into women. Dad's an AH for using his sister's poor choices as ammunition in an argument. So hopefully they both grow up. It was bad form all around.
Agreed. I'm shocked that no one else is calling out the dad. Total a*****e move to throw the affair in her face. Both of them suck.
Load More Replies... Well, "NTA" obviously goes without saying! This is a great dad and the aunt needs to gtf over her cuntpie bitchweed self.
First of all, it's not HER house. Out of the goodness of your heart, you are allowing her to stay at YOUR house. Remind her of that. Secondly, it is not HER daughter, so she should clam up. Being on your period is nothing to be ashamed of.
This is messed up, but my heart was warmed by this father! She's going to grow up to do awesome things with him raising her. She's so lucky!
I hide mine so they're not in plain sight because I feel some embarrassment, but I would NEVER try to inflict that shame on an 11 year old girl!! I know in my head this sort of thing is natural and should be in the open, and even if I can't get over my own hangups, I'm certainly not going to try to infect a child with them! This is exactly the kind of thing that can make her feel ashamed like me!
I think it's wrong to shame her niece. The dad is doing a great job to make sure his daughter is comfortable at home the sister need to stop being a jerk and leave her niece alone. She think her son doesn't knows these things she is wrong so she need to leave her brother and niece alone the did just find without her there.
The insanity, I mean really. As others have said, this is the 1st time I've ever heard such a thing. I can speak from experience that an 11 year old girl having her period is uncomfortable all by itself and then to have another woman, a family member at that... add shame to the situation burns me .... even if she said something that made sense,, its not her place to correct the daughter and rearrange the way they live. Sister is a guest and an ungrateful guest at that,, she shouldn't have said anything. if it was that important she should have had a conversation with her brother in private and if it was something relevant let him talk to his daughter. As far as what she got in return... sorry not sorry. The truth hurts.
If it had been me I would have given her the boot as soon as she tried to tell me or my child what to do in our own home. I'm not sure where she got her ideas from but I'm 51 and it's nonsense.I have never in my life experienced or heard of anyone behaving in this way. It seems your sister may have a few screws with. Partially when standing on her soapbox trying to tell you that you are a bad father. You definitely aren't. But she deserved exactly what you said and then some after tearing her family apart because she can't keep her legs closed to other men when she is married. She is a horrible wife and mother. You taking her in was likely only for her child's benefit and something she should be eternally grateful for and she has already figuratively slapped you in the face. I know that you don't want to toss her child out but you need to toss your sister out. Don't let her views harm your daughters mental well-being. Which she seems to have already started.
Good choice of story to cover. If anyone out there feels ashamed or they're being shamed by others over simple s**t, just cut them out of your life. In this case, it would be a complete waist of time to try to explain it to his sister. Just drop the b***h.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. You were absolutely correct to point out that her parenting is nothing for you to utilize as a reasonable example. I have 6 kids, 4 girls and 2 boys. The boys are not traumatized about pads being kept in the bathroom, nor do they care about what they are used for probably because the girls know how to properly dispose of them and clean up after themselves. Your sister is just an unhappy person and looking for a reason to be critical.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. She is a selfish and shitty parent who put her own needs before her family. She needs to fix her own parenting issues before she tries to fix any misstep she perceives in you. And for the record, I have 6 kids, 4 girls and 2 boys. The boys have not been traumatized by pads in the bathroom nor by knowing what they are for, and the girls know how to properly dispose of them and clean up after themselves.
This post legitimately has my BP up. His sister absolutely deserved to have her affair, which killed her family, thrown back in her face when she opened that door by calling him out in his parenting. Especially because she is a guest in his home yet trying to assert her dominance because if her affair. Ooo chile!
TOTALLY NTA My mom was born in 1925. Pads and tampons always stayed in the bathroom. How else would we know when to buy more? There were several women in our house. If the guys didn't like seeing them, too bad. It's not like she's leaving used pads out for full view. They're just a fact of life in a house with a female.
I came across a fantastic idea, a mitzvah (blessing) box. In the bathroom, I have a pretty wicker box of individually wrapped tampons and pads. They are there for anyone to use. Life gets complicate when a period starts unexpectedly. Having the means to deal with it is a little blessing.
What's weird is how were they brought up? He's completely comfortable yet his sister seems to have this huge mental issue about being embarrassed over pads where did that come from? Especially if it's strange to him I think she seriously needs to seek mental help whatever happened seems to be deeply ingrained in her and it's going to damage their relationship it's his house and it's his daughter and if she continues to poke she can't get upset if he smacks her back Don't start no won't be no
Your sister is out of line. Periods are a normal part of adulthiod for men and women and should be normalized not hidden away in shame. She doesnt like it she can take full responsibility for her life decisions amd actions and find her own place to live. Sounds very toxic.
Who doesn't keep pads or tampons in the bathroom? First of all it makes no sense to have them anywhere else, second of all she is not allowed to come into your home and tell you what to do, especially after OP is letting her stay there because she got kicked out for cheating. Sister or not, that's not okay and she has no right to say anything.
Most definitely NTA! My dad was a single father raising 3 girls. Pads and tampons always are in the bathroom. Your sister needs to be greatful you've opened your home to her. If it were my sister and that's how her marriage ended, I would take in her kids (it's not their fault) and tell her to go somewhere else from the get go. People that cheat in a marriage make it (marriage) a joke. And I have a big stand against this. So honestly she should just mind her own business because she obviously has no idea what she is doing at this point in her life.
I'm 58 and a boy. I've never heard or seen them kept anywhere else but in the bathroom. Cept maybe the emergency ones in her purse. Op's sister is a bunt
I keep multiple kinds in pretty jars behind toilet. Want to be a good host to company. I know what it is like to be caught without supplies.
Her idea that pads/tampons should be hidden is so bizarre. I live in Asia (culture differences) and people also keep pads in bathroom or accessible place near the bathroom. It's practical.
Where in the f--k does Ms. Virtue get off telling her BROTHER'S child to keep her pads in her room, in her own house? OP should remind her of a few facts: 1) This is HIS bathroom, in HIS house, not hers. 2) That is HIS daughter, not hers. He doesn't "parent" HER child; she should show him the same courtesy. 3) Where his daughter stores her personal supplies is none of her damned business, and 4) If she has a problem with the aforementioned facts, there's always a homeless shelter just around the corner.
Omg! In my opinion pars stsy in the bathroom makes the most sense. I live alone and i keep everything (pads, tampons, panto liners etc ) unfer my sink. Any woman in my house deserves to have what she needs we have gone too long with making women feel uncomfortable for what is natural. It shou4be accessible for all
Sometimes my wife keeps pads in the closet outside the bathroom, but that's only because I buy her about 3 months worth, she flows heavy, at one time.
Some guy made a comment about "modest and proper". Shame on us free-thinking women. I guess I'll get back in the kitchen now. But seriously - periods happen. Get over it. I think OP is a GOOD dad. He's raising a pre-teen daughter and she only has him. She'd be in trouble if she didn't. I was fortunate enough to grow up with both my parents around so i always had my mom to turn to when it came to girly things, however, the subject was never taboo with my dad either!
I've never heard of not keeping your sanitary products in the bathroom. We (the females at work) even keep our pads and tampons in the woman's bathrooms at work! None of my male friends or coworkers have ever had issues (male coworkers occasionally need to use the woman's washroom when the men's is occupied), they all have mothers, sisters or daughters. It's 2022 for heaven's sake.
My parents' bathroom had no storage, so my mother kept her box of sanitary napkins in her closet across from the bathroom. Sometimes she'd be surprised by her period and would call my brother to get her a napkin from the closet and hand it to her through the bathroom door. Probably why my brother ended up being gay. Totally kidding; I know that's not how that happens 😁
OP is somewhat the AH in my opinion here, that does not mean that his sister isn't even a much bigger one, but that comment about the affair is just a low blow. It would have been much better to just tell the sister that for someone receiving a huge favor she sure as hell acts really ungrateful
I'm 56. I always was allowed to keep my pads and tampons in the bathroom. My daughter kept hers in the bathroom. I've had a hysterectomy so I clearly have no need for them anymore, but I keep a few extra pads in case of an emergency for someone coming over to my place.
Sorry but this is just ridiculous. Of course they belong in the bathroom. What's the alternative? Carrying it from the deemed "proper place" down the hall? The real issue is, why is sis so embarrassed? Now if they're just sitting out, yes, that's unnecessary, find a less conspicuous place like under the sink in a pretty box or something. Then come to terms with this is going to happen every month for the next few decades. Get use to it. Good luck. 🙏
I'm happy that the MAN is the evolved one here! His daughter is VERY lucky to have such a great dad. His sister can move her ass out if she doesn't like it!!!
NTA and BTW. Blood (as in a family) means nothing in these situations. Kick your b*tch sister out of your home. You owe her absolutely nothing as you did NOT choose to be her brother. If she cannot accept your boundaries or rules, SHE needs to go, period. Sounds like she is playing the age (older sibling) card. Rip it up. She has no rights and no entitlements, especially considering how she screwed up her own life. We can choose our friends but not our family, and THAT is WHY blood should NEVER get priority.
Maybe because I grew up in a house with 4 other women and 1 man, but I thought that's why there were drawers or doors on the cabinet. Nobody is going to keep hemorrhoid cream in the kitchen. The shampoo, pads, deodorant, toothpaste, and all personal care items are in the bathroom. My grandparents kept incontinence things in the bathroom even. It's just where this stuff belongs. That means this lady is free bleeding out of the bathroom to go squat awkwardly in another room to insert a tampon? Or does having to cart around her personal items when she just needs to pee. That lady seems illogical at best and is way too concerned with other people's opinions. I don't agree that the brother should have said what he said because it's adding insult to injury but when you're telling someone their a bad parent for things like this it seems liked maybe she needed a dose of reality. Sad. That poor girl is going to be traumatized by something so trivial.
Just an fyi- I use to keep my tampon box on the back of the toilet in our one bedroom house. Never had an issue with my brothers or his friends. No one ever said anything about it. Why would your sister shame your dtr about where to not keep her pads when she ruined her marriage and lives of her family by adultery? Where is her thinking??
OP's sister sounds like she's the (colossal) "A" - Where does she get off?! First, this young daughter is not HER daughter. And thank whomever for that! Sis sounds like an uptight prude with her instructions to keep the feminine hygiene products (FHPs) hidden. Why on earth??? Girls, teens, young women, and older women menstruate - every freaking month for around 40 YEARS (except if pregnant). It works out to around 2,600 days of our lives. It's a fact of life, not a curse for which we should be shamed. Period positivity is important to girls self esteem and emotional development. Put the FHPs in the bathroom, preferably where they're easy to reach! OP is not TA. His sister is a piece of work and a terrible example to her own son. She should shut up or move out.
You know whats fun is having to use toilet paper in an emergency cause the place youre at *doesnt* have pads in the bathroom
The woman clearly has a damaged thinking process. No one has EVER came out of the bathroom ANYTIME...ANYWHERE..saying "Can you believe there were pads in the bathroom? Someone is having a period. Hilarious!! Let's go tell everyone!!" What a weirdo
Yeah.. call a spade a spade. Her logic, by all measures, has her being a stay-over guest as opposed to just being a visitor. With that in mind, it might suffice for her to have mind her position and conduct herself as much. I wouldn't want someone coming into my home and telling me how to run it, when they clearly couldn't handle their own affairs.
I wonder if she kept pads at her boyfriend's house?😳
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I keep mine in a decorative box under the sink in the bathroom. When it's that time of the month that decorative box sits on the back of the toilet. I'm not making my life difficult so someone else doesn't have to peep some tampon packaging. I'm not asking anyone to look at a blood soaked napkin! 🙄🙄🙄
Time fore your sister to get the full consequences of her judgmental b******t choices and have no where to go... that means boot her ass out. Your FOC is way more important than your FOO
48 y/o aunt period shaming her 11 y/o niece. Nice. If she were my sister, I'd tell her it's my house, I set the house rules and if she doesn't knock it the duck off she and her kid can find someplace else to stay.
Also she has to change them in the bathroom, people are more likely to see her dragging the giant box of pads into the bathroom then if they were jus there in the first place. Another thing: ITS HER HOUSE, NOT HER AUNTS.
My dad makes me hide mine and it's annoying I applaud the op for being an awesome father you are a great father don't let anyone tell u differently
Also, the pads are stored in the bathroom full-time, so it doesn't indicate anything about who might be having a period right then? (If anyone desperately needed that info they'd probably need to look in the lidded bin, not on the shelf?)
Single Dad here. My daughter stays with me 2 nights a week, she’s got her sanitary kit in the bathroom, it’s there all week and doesn’t get hidden away, it’s part of her life so it’s part of mine. It’s 2022 FFS, we don’t hide away from something that’s totally normal. BTW if you stay at my place then you play by my rules, don’t like it? Feel free to find a B&B.
Mentioning her affair was a bit below the belt. She wasn't hearing OP and now this all she heard. Maybe she's afraid her 13 year old son was too young to know about periods that his 11 year old cousin was having? No one ever saw my pads or tampons even though I had my own bathroom as an adult. Growing up I heard nothing at home about periods or sex. They didn't exist. Thank goodness for some friends who had more enlightened parents and a great boyfriend.
I have 3 daughter's. When I was visiting my Mother (then in her 50's) with my eldest she had her perio, so she asks me at breakfast to get her some pads. Following the current adverts, I said "With or without wings?". My mother was astonished that father & daughter would discuss such things (in the early 1990s), never mind I would go to the shop to buy them!
She needs to own up to her own problems. She doesn't have the right or the say on where her niece keeps her supply of napkins and such. I grew up with 2 brothers and an older sister. We had a single bathroom. She needs to get a job and live somewhere else. Leave her brother and her niece alone. Its none of her business.
NTA, your sister is. Tell your sister one final time that the pads stay in the bathroom and that this and NOTHING else about how you raise YOUR daughter in YOUR home or anything else is non of her Fkng business, that she is ONLY a guest in your house, and if she doesn't act like one you will evict her. A**holes are a** holes and just because one is a family member doesn't give them an exemption. I am nowhere near as tolerant as you over interference. I would get right in her face and tell her that am not taking any advice or listening to any lecture from an SL*T that ruined her marriage and family. Yes, I absolutely would call my own sister that if I was in your situation. Your AH sister is probably thinking that since she is 19 years older than you, she can play the senior sibling card on you. Honestly, I would just kick her out right now. The consequences of bad actions and stupid decisions, on her part, do not create an obligation on yours...
Good on you Dad for your approach to your daughter personally I think your sister has the issue because she may have to explain the sanitary products to her son who probably knows exactly what they are. Tell her if she doesn't like it she knows where the door is..your house your rules
Thank you OP for teaching your daughter that periods are a normal part of life and standing up for her rights! Hard to believe that your sister came from the same family/same generation! And virtually everyone that I know keeps sanitary napkins or tampons in the bathroom.
My mom is 64 and we had sanitary products in all the bathrooms growing up. The only time she encouraged me to hide them was when I had them in my purse she bought me a really cute pouch to put them in just in case they fell out no one would tease me.
After my daughter started her period, she kept her pads and tampons in the bathroom, of course! But the most notable thing is that her first period started when our family was eating out in the town we had just moved to. My wife asked the waitress where we could buy pads nearby, and the waitress said "hold on" and went to get her own purse to provide a pad for then and a second for later. The waitress was discrete, but unashamed, as was my wife. Both women expertly demonstrated for a 12 year old girl that there is no shame in having a period, being prepared, and taking proper care of yourself. (The meal cost about $56. The waitress got a $50 tip and high praise from us with the manager. Walmart was less than 1/4 mile away, behind a hill, but the sign was in view... It was our next stop. ... Our daughter became that friend that other girls could turn to when they weren't prepared, she almost always kept a couple pads and tampons in her purse, even when it wasn't her time of the month.)
My daughter started her period at age 9. She is 11 now, and has younger sisters who always get into her things. We installed floating shelves in the bathroom and got her cute decorative box to store her toiletries and pads. They’re “out of sight” and her sisters can’t reach and her things are safe. If you don’t want pads in your bathroom “visible” for whatever reason, you can improvise.
This is why we need sex ed. Real sex ed. For everyone. This, and so boys don't grow up thinking the urethra and the vagina are the same hole.
For the longest time I kept them in the bathroom like everyone else until I read an article that said pads can expire and if kept in a hot humid environment, like a bathroom, bacteria can grow on them over time and cause problems. My periods are irregular and it's not unheard of for a bag to last several months. I also live in a hot humid area with no central air in the bathroom so I now keep them in a dark, cool, and dry place in my bedroom. I say keep where you want and if a guest complains, tell them to find another place to stay if they don't like it.
Misplaced shame. Be ashamed BEFORE cheating on your husband. She didn't expect him to come in hot on her foolishness.
I feel like everyone missed what the question was. The question was if he was an a*****e for throwing her affair in her face, not if she was in the wrong for telling his daughter where to put her things. That was never up for debate. The question is was he an a*****e for throwing her affair in her face, in which case I would say yeah a little bit it was unnecessary and hurtful and he could've confronted the issue in a beneficial and mature way.
It's genuinely the way she was raised..your mother probably told your sister the same thing and she has that mind frame set in place
This sick mom has a lot of nerve shaming her young daughter for her hygiene supplies! Its her own failed parenting poor modeling or misplaced priorities that are the disgrace here
Ridiculous. This mom has alot of nerve suggesting theres anything shameful in her young daughter's hygiene supplies Its her own poor modeling that is a disgrace
Not a mom to the girl. She's the cheating aunt who got thrown out by her husband. Now she's being a b***h to her brother's (whose house she's staying in) daughter.
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Keep them in the bathroom. Just hide them in a safe place with easy access where other people shouldn't be snooping.
I'm gonna go against the grain and say everyone's the AH. Sister waaaaaay more of an AH, but coming at her hard over the affair was a bit of an AH thing too. It sounds like stuffs a little rough for everyone right now.
Both have erred. Sister is OTT and despite that, didn't deserve to have her indiscretions thrown in her face. That's far more cruel. Why is Sissy so prissy?
How is this a unanimous NTA response?! It's clearly ESH. Yes, the aunt is absolutely wrong, but throwing her affair in her face is totally out of line. They were both assholes.
She was being a sow and he stopped her in her tracks. He's NTA~~She needs to mind her own frigging business!
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I keep mine in my room. But I live with my brother and he's an awkward kind of guy. I praise him for being a man and allowing his daughter to know she can be comfortable with it and that she doesn't have to inconvenience herself by placing them anywhere but where needed.
Well, yeah, he is a bit of an a*****e for bringing up the affair. But what a mronic thing to argue about, in the first place. The sister needs to get a place of her own, asap.
Nope. He verbally slapped her down because she kept on his daughter. I would have bounced her headfirst out the door. He was restrained.
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ESH. She sucks for the period shaming. He sucks for getting into a big confrontation and throwing her affair in her face. That wasn’t necessary. All he had to say is “we don’t shame people for their periods in this house. My daughter will keep her pads in the bathroom and I will not be discussing my decision in my home any further.” Followed by “if you don’t like my decision, you are welcome to make your own decisions in your own house” if necessary. No need for a screaming argument.
No...he was not wrong about throwing her cheating back at her, as she is a legit and perfect example of a shitty "parent" and "person". I'd charge rent which can contribute to buying said pads.
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Let's just blame her stress because is the first I've heard of this as a rule. I'm also in my 40s and so are my friends, pads go in the bathroom so you can wash up and put another pad on. I was taught to keep a few pairs of underwear in the linen closet so you can avoid any accidents when done showering. My father made that recommendation. I think her strange criticism comes from the insecurity of not having her own daughter and what caused that. Hopefully she calms down and apologizes.
Am I the only one that thinks that even though he is clearly right about the pads-in-bathroom thing, he *is* (a little bit) an a*****e for immediately bringing up the affair? It hardly seems relevant to the topic. It seems to me like he just wanted to trash her for it which, okay fair, you don't get to just cheat on your husband and have your family pretend it didn't happen. But instead of having that conversation and getting it out of his system, he held onto it and now thinks he can whip it out to win any argument. He'd be far better off to give her the actual reasons why Julia should not have any say in what his daughter is allowed to do in their own house.
It wasn't just that she was shaming his daughter. She accused him of being a bad parent for not "teaching" her to be ashamed of having periods "because he's a man and doesn't understand." That's a low blow and sexist as hell so calling her out on the affair is free game in my eyes.
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Perhaps a more polite way of saying it would have been, "I am giving you a place to live because your husband and family kicked you out. I did not ask you to come live with me to co-parent. My kids are my kids. I do the parenting. If you can't handle that, maybe you can go ask 'him' for a place to stay." And wink when you say "him".
No John, you're a backwards thinking bible kisser who's never been within 3 feet of a woman before. Pads and tampons are just as normal as toilet paper. They're for normal human bodily functions. You'd think you'd know more about stuff like this given how big of a c*nt you are.
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Please don't ever share a woman's living space. You're obviously too fragile and immature for a relationship.
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He had all the reason to go off on her. His sister is trying to shame his child for something that is completely natural and out of her control, like wtf. Also it's not her house, she has absolutely no say in what they can or cannot keep in the bathroom
Load More Replies... I'm 46 and this is genuinely the first time I've heard of anyone keeping sanitary products in any other room than the bathroom. How impractical!
What? You mean you don't keep them in the cellar behind a secret brick door that can only be opened under the light of the full moon after sacrificing a unicorn?
Load More Replies... I leave mine in the open, as 50 percent of my guests have periods too and might need one when visiting.
Yes, thanks. I've got some in our bathroom and also in the guest bathroom.
Load More Replies... The bathroom bin needs a lid. That's pretty much the only criteria for "hiding" sanitary products (and it's really for hygiene reasons, rather than offending sensibilities). OP's sister needs to get her head out of her a**e and her a**e out of OP's house
A lid on bathroom trash cans need to be washed regularly. Wrap your pads and tampons back in the wrapper after use when throwing away or wrap them in toilet paper. Also line your trash cans in a bin bag. Also you can leave biodegradable doggie poo bags by the toilet to put used products in
Load More Replies... wtf? And this is from a woman too? Jesus Christ, you'd think she'd be the one asking why there's no pads in the bathroom, not demanding they get hidden away like a dirty little secret.
I suspect there's already a generational difference between the siblings (19 years!), and possibly the sister doesn't need them anymore. Also, if she was the only girl in the house (OP only mentions brothers otherwise) then her mother might have taught her to hide her supplies so the little kids didn't play with them and waste them, or so that their mother didn't have to explain things to toddlers.
Load More Replies... My uncle (abusive jerk that he is) stood up for me once. My aunt is a high school dropout (at age 14) that still acts like she's in HS. When my mom made me live with them my aunt took away all my tampons because "you're not a virgin now that you've used them". I was 15 when she did this. She replaced them with giant pads that didn't fit in anyones pants. For real. Like 4in thick of pad. Long enough you could tuck them into your waistband. I lost it. My uncle took the pads and through them into the fireplace and told her to STFU and that it was none of her business. He bought my tampons after that and she was not happy but kept her mouth shut. The fight when she learned I shaved ~down there~ included a full lecture about "trying to lure pedos". Idk why she kept coming in while I was showering but she seemed more of a threat than any pedos. JS. I felt bad for her daughters.
even your uncle knows when they insane parenting goes too far, at least from this story, did your uncle ever get better?
Load More Replies... My view? These are a bathroom item, no big deal. But you must realize ---- using the generic impersonal "you plural" that English doesn't quite convey ---- these people do exist. My dad wouldn't even abide the word "period", had to have his own bathroom lest (I have no idea), and would change channels if a commercial came on for "women stuff" on TV. He had a wife and two daughters, and we were meant to hide everything. My older sister had to put her products in her bedroom and use them there even tho' our dad had his own bathroom that we were forbidden to use (but had to clean) so we could've used the main bath. It really made us feel shame, when there is none.
We had 4 teens (3F, 1M) plus my mom and dad sharing one (small) bathroom for most of my Jr/Sr high school years. We had NO storage space in the bathroom, save for a medicine cabinet over the sink (3 shelves about 3" deep and 12" long). We menstruating females all kept our supplies in the hallway in the linen cupboard. It worked out fine. The early Victorians did not build bathrooms indoors, let alone multiples! The house belonged to the church where my dad was pastor - no chance of a remodel!
Load More Replies... what!!! i was raised by a single father with a bunch of brothers- since i got my first period they have all been to the store to buy me pads etc, my dad changed sheets in my bed if i got it while sleeping, and i had my pads in the bathroom(and in the kitchen, and living room because i'm messy like that) and guess what? no one ever cared. my brothers had friends over all the time, no one even looked twice. what is wrong with people??! is it a cultural thing? i've NEVER heard of shaming or hiding menstruation where i'm from (sweden)
I was about to be like, what the hell? where do u come from that it isn't taboo and women don't get shamed? But Sweden, that makes sense. For the majority of the world, including America, yes women are very much shamed and men are terrified of menstrual products or even the subject being brought up. Literally they act like children around them. Except the rare men that have grown up emotionally, they are totally mature about it. The cultural perception is getting better, but really only in the last 10-20 years. A lot of old people will never change their views so I guess we have to wait for them to die lol. Sorry not sorry old people with Victorian views! They think the body in general is shameful and we should all be ashamed we have one 😂
Load More Replies... Another good reason for having tampons and pads openly in the bathroom is in case a guest has run out and needs to borrow one. It's just common sense. I don't think this is an age thing, I just think his sister is weird.
I agree. My daughter-in-law has horrible periods and even though I have gone through menopause I keep products on hand for her and my daughter. Also we have open conversation about it with my son and husband sitting next to us and if anyone needed any feminine hygiene products they would happily go to the store to get them. I made sure there was no shame in bodily functions in my home.
Load More Replies... In addition to my comment before. My "family" is Pentecostal. When I started my period at 9yrs they took away all toys. I was given an ankle length dress that buttoned all the way up (red, of course) to wear the week of and told I was not to ever again climb trees, run, sit in the grass, swing on the swing set, play with other children (but I could watch over them) and that I was an adult so I should act like it. My birthday is in summer. I started my period 2 weeks later. No summer fun for me. My mom coming in the bathroom and then crying hysterically is all I remember of that day. My grandmother had to physically remove her from the bathroom. I thought I was dying. One tiny spot of red and everything in my life was different. After I turned 12, I decided not to listen to them. I climbed trees. I ran. I wore pants. And I started collecting stuffed animals. And they wonder why I hate them all. I secretly educated their daughters out of spite too. And at the camp they sent me to.
Yeah, she's just ridiculous. My son keeps a mini first aid kit in his backpack and when he realized his friends were having periods started keeping a couple of pads and tampons in there too. I think he started that at 11 or 12. Thank the gods this younger generation isn't full of that kind of nonsense.
You're obviously raising a splendid young man.
Load More Replies... Are you supposed to hide it? Doesnt everyone keep it in the bathroom, where you use it? First time my sons girlfriend came to visit I showed her where I kept the tampons and pads in case she ever needed it. My bad
We keep our toilet paper in the bedrooms so that guests aren't exposed to the horror that some of us don't wear diapers and have bowel movements.
We really shouldn't have digestive systems, either I guess.
Load More Replies... Methinks the sister hasn't given her son "the talk" and doesn't want to, especially after what she did.
Funny this made me think of when my son discovered tampons he opened like 3 of them while he was in the bathroom then when he came out he was like hey mom what are these ! I had people over at the time so I just told him oh those are things that woman use its girl stuff. they are not for boys k. Let's not play with them. I planned to explain more later to him when we didn't have guests . But time went on I forgot so did he until one day we were at my sister's and he seen them again and asked my sister hey what are these for ? my mom has them too....? And she goes oh that's just something girls put in their vajj's when they are bleeding because it's their time of the month. 😲😳😅🤣 I couldn't even believe what I was hearing from the other room. My son was 9 years old at that time and he just goes oh ok . Then turned and put it back in the bathroom. Lol my brother inlaw and I looked at eachother. at first shocked but then we walked outside because we were laughing so hard we were crying lol ..
Load More Replies... Wow he had his daughter when he was 18. I do agree he's NTA. People need to get over this prude attitude when it comes to this stuff. I've gotten my wife pads countless times at the store. As long as I know what brand to get I'm fine getting them. No shame
My father, bless his memory, would do the same thing for me if I ran out and wasn't feeling well enough to leave the house to get them myself.
Load More Replies... I would be encouraging sis to start looking for alternate accommodations. This is a normal bodily function and she doesn't need to be 'schooling' a child that is not hers and also where she is completely wrong. What an ankle. I never hid important information from my kids and I saw sex education as important information. I made sure both of my kids had clear, factual information about the basic bodily functions of both sexes. I informed my daughter and son exactly the same and they never had to rely on schoolyard gossip to figure out what reality was. They set quite a few of their classmates straight as well.
This is always so weird to me. Even the oldest, most religious (preudish) people I visited growing up had pads and/or tampons in the bathroom. I have never visited a household where someone has periods that was without pads and/or tampons in the bathroom. And it's even better that way, aside from normalising people having periods, if a visitor needs something unexpectedly it's already there. And if you don't like looking at a pack of sanitary things get yourself a small cabinet to hang over the toilet, or a little mirror/medicine cabinet thingy. Being 48 years old in 2022 is definitely not an excuse to behave in such a manner
I'd never heard of not storing them in the bathroom until I read this.
Load More Replies... What the heck? Myself and my daughters keep ours (tampons) in pretty glass jars on a shelf in the bathrooms. Every bathroom, that way if they are needed we don't have to go to our designated restroom. And if we have guests they're always available. Sure they're not fun to look at but in a glass jar they look nicer. lol. Your sister OP is an idiot and she is projecting her anger.
NTA~~When Sis can control her foibles, then *maybe* she can make suggestions as to how the household is run. Until then, she can Staplegun her lips shut~~or she can borrow a pad...
It isn't age. She's a double standard prude who's also a s**t. Even though she may still be "raw" with her family's implosion, caused by her, she can't lash out at others with her rules when it's not even her home. If she has a problem with the house rules that don't conform to her standards, move! The brother did right, protecting her daughter.
Wow, never a thought that "bathroom products" couldn't be kept in the bathroom! Mine are in there, and I'm postmenopausal!
Guess I've been doing it wrong all those year. Who would have thought that something that is used in the bathroom should be stored in the bedroom. Guess I should store my laundry detergent in the living room or somewhere else so people don't know I have dirty laundry. Ewe me!
42 and always kept feminine hygiene in the bathroom. hell when i was a kid my mum kept her things in the cupboard that we all used. we just knew they were for her (until we were older of course) and we kept our hands off mum's things.
Period-shaming at it's best. It's not only men but, like here, also (older) women, who implements the idia that you have to be ashamed for something truly natural and thus to hide it in young girls mind! The sister is TA without doubt (but also a victim to her own bringing up, which taught her to hide such a "disgusting" body function).
My grandmother was like this. She didn't even really talk about periods with her daughters. There was a secret cabinet somewhere, the girls had to sneak in there, get a pad, hide it under their sweater etc, all hush hush and nobody could ever find out. She was born in 1933 in an extremely religious environment, so I kind of get that she was brought up in such a way (she's been gone for almost 20 years now btw), but a 48 y/o in 2022? No way that that's an excuse now. My mother and aunts always had everythign visible and ready in the bathroom, they talked openly about periods and whatnot. I think the first talk I had with my mother was at 7 or 8 years old. Just to make sure we (sisters and I) would never have to feel the way she did while she was younger
Load More Replies... OK women, you have to have a meeting about this and come back with a decision. Most posts I read about sanitary pads are about men so insecure with their masculinity that they refuse to buy them at the store for their SO and consider any discussion of bodily functions taboo. I was told this by other men, flabbergasted that I never put much thought into it and considered them just part of the shopping list. Now I read this and I have to wonder if it was their mamas or their papas that gave them this incomprehensible mental hung up. Everybody take a deep breath and repeat with me: They are just pads. No different than TP of Bounty paper towels. Everybody chill.
My husband refused to sleep in the same bed with me when I was on my period, back when we were first married 32 years ago.
Load More Replies... i think the "your a man so you wouldn't understand" is more b******t then actual s**t from a bull. i'm a man, and i understand well enough, NTA, i mean, come on, she can't judge on the way you parent either, everybody does it in different ways, your child, you get to say what's best for her.
what a woman. i store pads in the bathroom because the floor is easiest to clean if anything happens! also, people are more likely to be in your room than your bathroom..
You know what after a conversation like that I would put a box of pads in every room even in the kitchen next to the coffee pot!
The OP didn't do anything wrong. In fact, his sister needs to know her place. She's lucky that her brother took in her and her son after she screwed up. She should thank him for being a fantastic brother and stop trying to embarrass her niece for something that's perfectly natural.
Ffs she is a woman and being 49 she probably still has her periods. Where does she keep her top secret sanitary stuff?
Tell your sister it’s your house, your rules and she is a guest. If she doesn’t like it then she can gtfo. And just because she was shamed about her period does not mean she has the right to do it to your daughter. I’d be kicking her stupid ass out for that
NTA and it’s time your sister moves out. She created her own mess and now is trying to take over your household. Put a stop to it
Girl... I've got tampons everywhere! Lol. Glove compartment, coat pockets, cabinets, drawers, in my purse.... in my husbands truck... why should I hide them!? Idc if ppl know I'm on my period. That's their problem if they have an issue with it. Not mine. I can't help it. N believe me.. if I could I wouldn't have one... stop teaching young women that they should be ashamed of being a woman!
Did she really shut him up because he's a man and thus "never would understand"?! Nice of her to be sexist to both of the sexes. SMH
I don't get why someone would keep them in any other room. Speaking as a guy, I don't think I've ever notice them in a bathroom. That said though, if someone started giving my daughter a hard time like this I'd start putting them in every single room in my house. Then I'd tell my guest feel free to leave if they make her uncomfortable but sometimes a healthy young lady may need them so don't move them.
WTF...I don't even use pads or tampons, or have any friends who do (and visit my house) and I keep some under the sink "just in case" 🤷♀️ Not only is she trying to shame his daughter into a weird, very inconvenient habit, but she's clearly very hung up on the idea. I wonder if one or both of her parents shamed her for the same thing, or if her mother insisted that she keep them "secret" OP is doing the right thing for his child, and should tell his sister that she is not welcome to correct or 'parent' his daughter, and she should talk to him about any issues or concerns she has with daughters behavior.
This woman need to keep her comments to herself and quit disrespecting her brother, her niece, and HIS HOUSE! She lucky she has a place to stay considering her recent shenanigans! For her coming off so damn modest is quite hypocritical of her after stepping out of the sacred bond called marriage.
This woman would have a stroke if she sees my car LOL. I have tampons/pads in the door storage, glove box, an ER bag in the boot/under the seats. Not even the mechanics or carwash guys seem to raise an eyebrow...it's a woman's car, women have periods - sometimes at inconvenient times. I like to have them around for when myself or someone else needs it.
Omg, do you also sometimes pull a pair of jeans out of the washer to find a still wrapped but also sort of blown up tampon in one of the pockets? Or do spring cleaning and end up with a 2 month supply pulled from all the bags, clothes, drawers etc that you emptied out?
Load More Replies... FACT: PERIODS! WOMEN HAVE THEM! (They also have VAGINAS! 🤫😳). FACT: NOBODY CHANGES THEIR TAMPON IN THE BEDROOM. I mean, maybe some people do... You do you if you're those people, I don't know your circumstances... maybe your housemates are thieves, or your gender is none of their business.🤷🏻♀️ FACT: If people with ovaries occasionally occupy any given bathroom, appropriate hygiene products should be available in said bathroom. Soap, water, toilet paper, tampons/pads. Mad respect for this dad who is fighting for his daughter's vaginal validity. I hope auntie bleeds through on a bus.
I'm 69, live alone, and male and I keep pads and tampons in my bathroom. It's small so they're visible sitting right next to the extra rolls of toilet paper. More than one guest (both sexes) has complimented me on it but it's a no-brainer as far as I'm concerned.
She's projecting her thoughts about what she's done with regards to her own son. She was setting an example. She justified having an affair at the expense of her children. Narcissism tends to promote that sort of defense--externalization, deflection, and scapegoating--anything to avoid accountability or responsibility.
I have a 10 year old daughter and would be very pissed if my sisters spoke to me this way..especially in my house. She sounds like she has issues
So funny! When I clicked on this I thought the Dad was being the AH about the pads!! This woman's nerve is pretty amazing. It's his house, & his kid. U are a guest & really have no say. Unless she's just throwing the used ones in the Pail without wrapping them. I've seen people do that - it's pretty revolting- but I don't think that's the case here. It reminded me of my mom saying how when she was young the pads were kept behind the counter at the drugstore & u had to ask for them. They would bag it before handing to u so noone would see them😜 I think bringing up the affair was a bit rough but certainly fitting. Who is she to judge anyone on parenting??? I also think if she would've just let it go he would never have said it. And there's usually some sort of storage in any bathroom so she couldve just moved them there if it bothered her that much. NTA because she kind of pushed you to it. Kind of a strange hill to choose to die on🤔
What an entitled cow of a woman. I'd have shown her the door. The GALL to chastise a resident while a guest in their home.... unbelievable.
i have pads in all my bathroom every woman come on ther period i have three daughters they keep there pads in the bathroom when we have guest they use them as well he is doing a good job with his daughter his sister need mind her business if she do not like how he raise his daughter than she need get out she need fix her life before judge someone else life
I just assumed since it was a bathroom product it goes in the bathroom I am a dude who lived with two sisters and a mom I saw that s**t all the time it was as common as seeing soap.also imma keep it buck she had no right trying to lecture OP's daughter or OP he was standing up for his daughter and keeping it a buck if you gonna call someone a bad parent when you yourself just ruined a marriage and happy family by having an affair maaaybe stfu
Um I keep my pads in the bathroom! Most people do. When you go to a business or school where do they keep the tampon/ pad dispenser in the caffiteria? No they are in woman's bathrooms!!!! Glad you stuck up for your daughter because it's what was right! Her and her son are living in your house under your good graces! If you let that pad thing slide by the next thing you know she would of had complete control over your house! If she don't like the pads in the bathroom then she can go live on the streets where tons of trash is on the side of the road and who will she complain to about that? Um excuse me road but trash goes in a trash can! 🙄 She better thank her lucky stars you put a roof over her head! Period.
So I assume the sister totally expects any guests automatically are given the right to be going through you bathroom cabinets and medicine cabinets. I would put a mousetrap in them and let them explain where that big bruise on their finger came from.
Ah, the good old "you're an a-hole and you've hurt my feelings by pointing out that I'm an a-hole and I'm hurting your daughter. How dare you, I'm gonna go cry"
They are both AHs. She's an AH for shaming a developing child. They're embarrassed about everything already. Plus it's dumb. I bet it has more to do with having her 13 year old son living there and irrationally pretending girls don't grow into women. Dad's an AH for using his sister's poor choices as ammunition in an argument. So hopefully they both grow up. It was bad form all around.
Agreed. I'm shocked that no one else is calling out the dad. Total a*****e move to throw the affair in her face. Both of them suck.
Load More Replies... Well, "NTA" obviously goes without saying! This is a great dad and the aunt needs to gtf over her cuntpie bitchweed self.
First of all, it's not HER house. Out of the goodness of your heart, you are allowing her to stay at YOUR house. Remind her of that. Secondly, it is not HER daughter, so she should clam up. Being on your period is nothing to be ashamed of.
This is messed up, but my heart was warmed by this father! She's going to grow up to do awesome things with him raising her. She's so lucky!
I hide mine so they're not in plain sight because I feel some embarrassment, but I would NEVER try to inflict that shame on an 11 year old girl!! I know in my head this sort of thing is natural and should be in the open, and even if I can't get over my own hangups, I'm certainly not going to try to infect a child with them! This is exactly the kind of thing that can make her feel ashamed like me!
I think it's wrong to shame her niece. The dad is doing a great job to make sure his daughter is comfortable at home the sister need to stop being a jerk and leave her niece alone. She think her son doesn't knows these things she is wrong so she need to leave her brother and niece alone the did just find without her there.
The insanity, I mean really. As others have said, this is the 1st time I've ever heard such a thing. I can speak from experience that an 11 year old girl having her period is uncomfortable all by itself and then to have another woman, a family member at that... add shame to the situation burns me .... even if she said something that made sense,, its not her place to correct the daughter and rearrange the way they live. Sister is a guest and an ungrateful guest at that,, she shouldn't have said anything. if it was that important she should have had a conversation with her brother in private and if it was something relevant let him talk to his daughter. As far as what she got in return... sorry not sorry. The truth hurts.
If it had been me I would have given her the boot as soon as she tried to tell me or my child what to do in our own home. I'm not sure where she got her ideas from but I'm 51 and it's nonsense.I have never in my life experienced or heard of anyone behaving in this way. It seems your sister may have a few screws with. Partially when standing on her soapbox trying to tell you that you are a bad father. You definitely aren't. But she deserved exactly what you said and then some after tearing her family apart because she can't keep her legs closed to other men when she is married. She is a horrible wife and mother. You taking her in was likely only for her child's benefit and something she should be eternally grateful for and she has already figuratively slapped you in the face. I know that you don't want to toss her child out but you need to toss your sister out. Don't let her views harm your daughters mental well-being. Which she seems to have already started.
Good choice of story to cover. If anyone out there feels ashamed or they're being shamed by others over simple s**t, just cut them out of your life. In this case, it would be a complete waist of time to try to explain it to his sister. Just drop the b***h.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. You were absolutely correct to point out that her parenting is nothing for you to utilize as a reasonable example. I have 6 kids, 4 girls and 2 boys. The boys are not traumatized about pads being kept in the bathroom, nor do they care about what they are used for probably because the girls know how to properly dispose of them and clean up after themselves. Your sister is just an unhappy person and looking for a reason to be critical.
People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. She is a selfish and shitty parent who put her own needs before her family. She needs to fix her own parenting issues before she tries to fix any misstep she perceives in you. And for the record, I have 6 kids, 4 girls and 2 boys. The boys have not been traumatized by pads in the bathroom nor by knowing what they are for, and the girls know how to properly dispose of them and clean up after themselves.
This post legitimately has my BP up. His sister absolutely deserved to have her affair, which killed her family, thrown back in her face when she opened that door by calling him out in his parenting. Especially because she is a guest in his home yet trying to assert her dominance because if her affair. Ooo chile!
TOTALLY NTA My mom was born in 1925. Pads and tampons always stayed in the bathroom. How else would we know when to buy more? There were several women in our house. If the guys didn't like seeing them, too bad. It's not like she's leaving used pads out for full view. They're just a fact of life in a house with a female.
I came across a fantastic idea, a mitzvah (blessing) box. In the bathroom, I have a pretty wicker box of individually wrapped tampons and pads. They are there for anyone to use. Life gets complicate when a period starts unexpectedly. Having the means to deal with it is a little blessing.
What's weird is how were they brought up? He's completely comfortable yet his sister seems to have this huge mental issue about being embarrassed over pads where did that come from? Especially if it's strange to him I think she seriously needs to seek mental help whatever happened seems to be deeply ingrained in her and it's going to damage their relationship it's his house and it's his daughter and if she continues to poke she can't get upset if he smacks her back Don't start no won't be no
Your sister is out of line. Periods are a normal part of adulthiod for men and women and should be normalized not hidden away in shame. She doesnt like it she can take full responsibility for her life decisions amd actions and find her own place to live. Sounds very toxic.
Who doesn't keep pads or tampons in the bathroom? First of all it makes no sense to have them anywhere else, second of all she is not allowed to come into your home and tell you what to do, especially after OP is letting her stay there because she got kicked out for cheating. Sister or not, that's not okay and she has no right to say anything.
Most definitely NTA! My dad was a single father raising 3 girls. Pads and tampons always are in the bathroom. Your sister needs to be greatful you've opened your home to her. If it were my sister and that's how her marriage ended, I would take in her kids (it's not their fault) and tell her to go somewhere else from the get go. People that cheat in a marriage make it (marriage) a joke. And I have a big stand against this. So honestly she should just mind her own business because she obviously has no idea what she is doing at this point in her life.
I'm 58 and a boy. I've never heard or seen them kept anywhere else but in the bathroom. Cept maybe the emergency ones in her purse. Op's sister is a bunt
I keep multiple kinds in pretty jars behind toilet. Want to be a good host to company. I know what it is like to be caught without supplies.
Her idea that pads/tampons should be hidden is so bizarre. I live in Asia (culture differences) and people also keep pads in bathroom or accessible place near the bathroom. It's practical.
Where in the f--k does Ms. Virtue get off telling her BROTHER'S child to keep her pads in her room, in her own house? OP should remind her of a few facts: 1) This is HIS bathroom, in HIS house, not hers. 2) That is HIS daughter, not hers. He doesn't "parent" HER child; she should show him the same courtesy. 3) Where his daughter stores her personal supplies is none of her damned business, and 4) If she has a problem with the aforementioned facts, there's always a homeless shelter just around the corner.
Omg! In my opinion pars stsy in the bathroom makes the most sense. I live alone and i keep everything (pads, tampons, panto liners etc ) unfer my sink. Any woman in my house deserves to have what she needs we have gone too long with making women feel uncomfortable for what is natural. It shou4be accessible for all
Sometimes my wife keeps pads in the closet outside the bathroom, but that's only because I buy her about 3 months worth, she flows heavy, at one time.
Some guy made a comment about "modest and proper". Shame on us free-thinking women. I guess I'll get back in the kitchen now. But seriously - periods happen. Get over it. I think OP is a GOOD dad. He's raising a pre-teen daughter and she only has him. She'd be in trouble if she didn't. I was fortunate enough to grow up with both my parents around so i always had my mom to turn to when it came to girly things, however, the subject was never taboo with my dad either!
I've never heard of not keeping your sanitary products in the bathroom. We (the females at work) even keep our pads and tampons in the woman's bathrooms at work! None of my male friends or coworkers have ever had issues (male coworkers occasionally need to use the woman's washroom when the men's is occupied), they all have mothers, sisters or daughters. It's 2022 for heaven's sake.
My parents' bathroom had no storage, so my mother kept her box of sanitary napkins in her closet across from the bathroom. Sometimes she'd be surprised by her period and would call my brother to get her a napkin from the closet and hand it to her through the bathroom door. Probably why my brother ended up being gay. Totally kidding; I know that's not how that happens 😁
OP is somewhat the AH in my opinion here, that does not mean that his sister isn't even a much bigger one, but that comment about the affair is just a low blow. It would have been much better to just tell the sister that for someone receiving a huge favor she sure as hell acts really ungrateful
I'm 56. I always was allowed to keep my pads and tampons in the bathroom. My daughter kept hers in the bathroom. I've had a hysterectomy so I clearly have no need for them anymore, but I keep a few extra pads in case of an emergency for someone coming over to my place.
Sorry but this is just ridiculous. Of course they belong in the bathroom. What's the alternative? Carrying it from the deemed "proper place" down the hall? The real issue is, why is sis so embarrassed? Now if they're just sitting out, yes, that's unnecessary, find a less conspicuous place like under the sink in a pretty box or something. Then come to terms with this is going to happen every month for the next few decades. Get use to it. Good luck. 🙏
I'm happy that the MAN is the evolved one here! His daughter is VERY lucky to have such a great dad. His sister can move her ass out if she doesn't like it!!!
NTA and BTW. Blood (as in a family) means nothing in these situations. Kick your b*tch sister out of your home. You owe her absolutely nothing as you did NOT choose to be her brother. If she cannot accept your boundaries or rules, SHE needs to go, period. Sounds like she is playing the age (older sibling) card. Rip it up. She has no rights and no entitlements, especially considering how she screwed up her own life. We can choose our friends but not our family, and THAT is WHY blood should NEVER get priority.
Maybe because I grew up in a house with 4 other women and 1 man, but I thought that's why there were drawers or doors on the cabinet. Nobody is going to keep hemorrhoid cream in the kitchen. The shampoo, pads, deodorant, toothpaste, and all personal care items are in the bathroom. My grandparents kept incontinence things in the bathroom even. It's just where this stuff belongs. That means this lady is free bleeding out of the bathroom to go squat awkwardly in another room to insert a tampon? Or does having to cart around her personal items when she just needs to pee. That lady seems illogical at best and is way too concerned with other people's opinions. I don't agree that the brother should have said what he said because it's adding insult to injury but when you're telling someone their a bad parent for things like this it seems liked maybe she needed a dose of reality. Sad. That poor girl is going to be traumatized by something so trivial.
Just an fyi- I use to keep my tampon box on the back of the toilet in our one bedroom house. Never had an issue with my brothers or his friends. No one ever said anything about it. Why would your sister shame your dtr about where to not keep her pads when she ruined her marriage and lives of her family by adultery? Where is her thinking??
OP's sister sounds like she's the (colossal) "A" - Where does she get off?! First, this young daughter is not HER daughter. And thank whomever for that! Sis sounds like an uptight prude with her instructions to keep the feminine hygiene products (FHPs) hidden. Why on earth??? Girls, teens, young women, and older women menstruate - every freaking month for around 40 YEARS (except if pregnant). It works out to around 2,600 days of our lives. It's a fact of life, not a curse for which we should be shamed. Period positivity is important to girls self esteem and emotional development. Put the FHPs in the bathroom, preferably where they're easy to reach! OP is not TA. His sister is a piece of work and a terrible example to her own son. She should shut up or move out.
You know whats fun is having to use toilet paper in an emergency cause the place youre at *doesnt* have pads in the bathroom
The woman clearly has a damaged thinking process. No one has EVER came out of the bathroom ANYTIME...ANYWHERE..saying "Can you believe there were pads in the bathroom? Someone is having a period. Hilarious!! Let's go tell everyone!!" What a weirdo
Yeah.. call a spade a spade. Her logic, by all measures, has her being a stay-over guest as opposed to just being a visitor. With that in mind, it might suffice for her to have mind her position and conduct herself as much. I wouldn't want someone coming into my home and telling me how to run it, when they clearly couldn't handle their own affairs.
I wonder if she kept pads at her boyfriend's house?😳
Load More Replies... I keep mine in a decorative box under the sink in the bathroom. When it's that time of the month that decorative box sits on the back of the toilet. I'm not making my life difficult so someone else doesn't have to peep some tampon packaging. I'm not asking anyone to look at a blood soaked napkin! 🙄🙄🙄
Time fore your sister to get the full consequences of her judgmental b******t choices and have no where to go... that means boot her ass out. Your FOC is way more important than your FOO
48 y/o aunt period shaming her 11 y/o niece. Nice. If she were my sister, I'd tell her it's my house, I set the house rules and if she doesn't knock it the duck off she and her kid can find someplace else to stay.
Also she has to change them in the bathroom, people are more likely to see her dragging the giant box of pads into the bathroom then if they were jus there in the first place. Another thing: ITS HER HOUSE, NOT HER AUNTS.
My dad makes me hide mine and it's annoying I applaud the op for being an awesome father you are a great father don't let anyone tell u differently
Also, the pads are stored in the bathroom full-time, so it doesn't indicate anything about who might be having a period right then? (If anyone desperately needed that info they'd probably need to look in the lidded bin, not on the shelf?)
Single Dad here. My daughter stays with me 2 nights a week, she’s got her sanitary kit in the bathroom, it’s there all week and doesn’t get hidden away, it’s part of her life so it’s part of mine. It’s 2022 FFS, we don’t hide away from something that’s totally normal. BTW if you stay at my place then you play by my rules, don’t like it? Feel free to find a B&B.
Mentioning her affair was a bit below the belt. She wasn't hearing OP and now this all she heard. Maybe she's afraid her 13 year old son was too young to know about periods that his 11 year old cousin was having? No one ever saw my pads or tampons even though I had my own bathroom as an adult. Growing up I heard nothing at home about periods or sex. They didn't exist. Thank goodness for some friends who had more enlightened parents and a great boyfriend.
I have 3 daughter's. When I was visiting my Mother (then in her 50's) with my eldest she had her perio, so she asks me at breakfast to get her some pads. Following the current adverts, I said "With or without wings?". My mother was astonished that father & daughter would discuss such things (in the early 1990s), never mind I would go to the shop to buy them!
She needs to own up to her own problems. She doesn't have the right or the say on where her niece keeps her supply of napkins and such. I grew up with 2 brothers and an older sister. We had a single bathroom. She needs to get a job and live somewhere else. Leave her brother and her niece alone. Its none of her business.
NTA, your sister is. Tell your sister one final time that the pads stay in the bathroom and that this and NOTHING else about how you raise YOUR daughter in YOUR home or anything else is non of her Fkng business, that she is ONLY a guest in your house, and if she doesn't act like one you will evict her. A**holes are a** holes and just because one is a family member doesn't give them an exemption. I am nowhere near as tolerant as you over interference. I would get right in her face and tell her that am not taking any advice or listening to any lecture from an SL*T that ruined her marriage and family. Yes, I absolutely would call my own sister that if I was in your situation. Your AH sister is probably thinking that since she is 19 years older than you, she can play the senior sibling card on you. Honestly, I would just kick her out right now. The consequences of bad actions and stupid decisions, on her part, do not create an obligation on yours...
Good on you Dad for your approach to your daughter personally I think your sister has the issue because she may have to explain the sanitary products to her son who probably knows exactly what they are. Tell her if she doesn't like it she knows where the door is..your house your rules
Thank you OP for teaching your daughter that periods are a normal part of life and standing up for her rights! Hard to believe that your sister came from the same family/same generation! And virtually everyone that I know keeps sanitary napkins or tampons in the bathroom.
My mom is 64 and we had sanitary products in all the bathrooms growing up. The only time she encouraged me to hide them was when I had them in my purse she bought me a really cute pouch to put them in just in case they fell out no one would tease me.
After my daughter started her period, she kept her pads and tampons in the bathroom, of course! But the most notable thing is that her first period started when our family was eating out in the town we had just moved to. My wife asked the waitress where we could buy pads nearby, and the waitress said "hold on" and went to get her own purse to provide a pad for then and a second for later. The waitress was discrete, but unashamed, as was my wife. Both women expertly demonstrated for a 12 year old girl that there is no shame in having a period, being prepared, and taking proper care of yourself. (The meal cost about $56. The waitress got a $50 tip and high praise from us with the manager. Walmart was less than 1/4 mile away, behind a hill, but the sign was in view... It was our next stop. ... Our daughter became that friend that other girls could turn to when they weren't prepared, she almost always kept a couple pads and tampons in her purse, even when it wasn't her time of the month.)
My daughter started her period at age 9. She is 11 now, and has younger sisters who always get into her things. We installed floating shelves in the bathroom and got her cute decorative box to store her toiletries and pads. They’re “out of sight” and her sisters can’t reach and her things are safe. If you don’t want pads in your bathroom “visible” for whatever reason, you can improvise.
This is why we need sex ed. Real sex ed. For everyone. This, and so boys don't grow up thinking the urethra and the vagina are the same hole.
For the longest time I kept them in the bathroom like everyone else until I read an article that said pads can expire and if kept in a hot humid environment, like a bathroom, bacteria can grow on them over time and cause problems. My periods are irregular and it's not unheard of for a bag to last several months. I also live in a hot humid area with no central air in the bathroom so I now keep them in a dark, cool, and dry place in my bedroom. I say keep where you want and if a guest complains, tell them to find another place to stay if they don't like it.
Misplaced shame. Be ashamed BEFORE cheating on your husband. She didn't expect him to come in hot on her foolishness.
I feel like everyone missed what the question was. The question was if he was an a*****e for throwing her affair in her face, not if she was in the wrong for telling his daughter where to put her things. That was never up for debate. The question is was he an a*****e for throwing her affair in her face, in which case I would say yeah a little bit it was unnecessary and hurtful and he could've confronted the issue in a beneficial and mature way.
It's genuinely the way she was raised..your mother probably told your sister the same thing and she has that mind frame set in place
This sick mom has a lot of nerve shaming her young daughter for her hygiene supplies! Its her own failed parenting poor modeling or misplaced priorities that are the disgrace here
Ridiculous. This mom has alot of nerve suggesting theres anything shameful in her young daughter's hygiene supplies Its her own poor modeling that is a disgrace
Not a mom to the girl. She's the cheating aunt who got thrown out by her husband. Now she's being a b***h to her brother's (whose house she's staying in) daughter.
Load More Replies... Keep them in the bathroom. Just hide them in a safe place with easy access where other people shouldn't be snooping.
I'm gonna go against the grain and say everyone's the AH. Sister waaaaaay more of an AH, but coming at her hard over the affair was a bit of an AH thing too. It sounds like stuffs a little rough for everyone right now.
Both have erred. Sister is OTT and despite that, didn't deserve to have her indiscretions thrown in her face. That's far more cruel. Why is Sissy so prissy?
How is this a unanimous NTA response?! It's clearly ESH. Yes, the aunt is absolutely wrong, but throwing her affair in her face is totally out of line. They were both assholes.
She was being a sow and he stopped her in her tracks. He's NTA~~She needs to mind her own frigging business!
Load More Replies... I keep mine in my room. But I live with my brother and he's an awkward kind of guy. I praise him for being a man and allowing his daughter to know she can be comfortable with it and that she doesn't have to inconvenience herself by placing them anywhere but where needed.
Well, yeah, he is a bit of an a*****e for bringing up the affair. But what a mronic thing to argue about, in the first place. The sister needs to get a place of her own, asap.
Nope. He verbally slapped her down because she kept on his daughter. I would have bounced her headfirst out the door. He was restrained.
Load More Replies... ESH. She sucks for the period shaming. He sucks for getting into a big confrontation and throwing her affair in her face. That wasn’t necessary. All he had to say is “we don’t shame people for their periods in this house. My daughter will keep her pads in the bathroom and I will not be discussing my decision in my home any further.” Followed by “if you don’t like my decision, you are welcome to make your own decisions in your own house” if necessary. No need for a screaming argument.
No...he was not wrong about throwing her cheating back at her, as she is a legit and perfect example of a shitty "parent" and "person". I'd charge rent which can contribute to buying said pads.
Load More Replies... Let's just blame her stress because is the first I've heard of this as a rule. I'm also in my 40s and so are my friends, pads go in the bathroom so you can wash up and put another pad on. I was taught to keep a few pairs of underwear in the linen closet so you can avoid any accidents when done showering. My father made that recommendation. I think her strange criticism comes from the insecurity of not having her own daughter and what caused that. Hopefully she calms down and apologizes.
Am I the only one that thinks that even though he is clearly right about the pads-in-bathroom thing, he *is* (a little bit) an a*****e for immediately bringing up the affair? It hardly seems relevant to the topic. It seems to me like he just wanted to trash her for it which, okay fair, you don't get to just cheat on your husband and have your family pretend it didn't happen. But instead of having that conversation and getting it out of his system, he held onto it and now thinks he can whip it out to win any argument. He'd be far better off to give her the actual reasons why Julia should not have any say in what his daughter is allowed to do in their own house.
It wasn't just that she was shaming his daughter. She accused him of being a bad parent for not "teaching" her to be ashamed of having periods "because he's a man and doesn't understand." That's a low blow and sexist as hell so calling her out on the affair is free game in my eyes.
Load More Replies... Perhaps a more polite way of saying it would have been, "I am giving you a place to live because your husband and family kicked you out. I did not ask you to come live with me to co-parent. My kids are my kids. I do the parenting. If you can't handle that, maybe you can go ask 'him' for a place to stay." And wink when you say "him".
No John, you're a backwards thinking bible kisser who's never been within 3 feet of a woman before. Pads and tampons are just as normal as toilet paper. They're for normal human bodily functions. You'd think you'd know more about stuff like this given how big of a c*nt you are.
Load More Replies... Please don't ever share a woman's living space. You're obviously too fragile and immature for a relationship.
Load More Replies... He had all the reason to go off on her. His sister is trying to shame his child for something that is completely natural and out of her control, like wtf. Also it's not her house, she has absolutely no say in what they can or cannot keep in the bathroom
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