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Parenthood is a challenge where navigating the twists and turns of raising a child in this turbulent world can feel overwhelming. Especially when moms and dads know they play an enormous role in molding their kids' personalities and emotional and mental health, for better or worse. And while there is no such thing as a perfect parent, most try their best to lift their little ones and give them support whenever they need it.

However, a few are downright toxic and take delight in imposing hurt, pain, and ignorance onto their child. So when Redditor odeus120 reached out to 'Ask Reddit' with a question, "What screams trashy parents?", it inspired people to share their takes online. Suddenly, the thread turned into an illuminating read about how people can tell if their behavior patterns negatively shape their child's life.

Below, you'll find a list of these thought-provoking responses about actions parents should steer clear of. So continue scrolling and upvote the ones you agree with. Keep reading to also find an interview with the person who sparked this conversation, odeus120. Then be sure to let us know what other signs of harmful parenting you've ever witnessed in the comment section below.

#1

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Kids running around a store trashing the place and not a parent in sight.

makeski25 , Hanson Lu Report

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But Nobody Came.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and waterparks too. Lifeguards are not your f*****g babysitters (lifeguard heree)

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#2

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Social media influencers whose entire content is their children. People who publically punish their kids online, parents who give out way to many details about their children giving them lack of privacy. Child exploitation at its finest.

Rooster-Wild , Ivan Samkov Report

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Rachknits
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Those who film and then post punishing their kids are the worst. What on earth are they trying to convey? Poor kids

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#3

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Having so many that you can't properly care for them all, or having the older kids care for the younger ones most of the time.

Express_Topic_4081 , Vitolda Klein Report

We managed to get in touch with the person who sparked the conversation on the platform, Redditor odeus120, who was kind enough to chat about the thread and the reasons it resonated so deeply with the community. They told Bored Panda that the idea to raise this question came after they stumbled upon a YouTube video of an 'Ask Reddit' post on a similar topic. "So naturally, I made a post on the same theme," odeus120 said.

However, the user was surprised to see the thread blow up as much as it did. "I was expecting it to follow the same as most of my posts," the user added. "I was shocked by the responses and so many replies that I have not read them all. I was also shocked because this was the first post of mine to get over 5.7k upvotes and 5.3k comments."

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#5

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Changing your kids diaper in a Walmart parking lot and throwing the diaper full of s**t on the ground for someone else to deal with.

Kreema29 , RODNAE Productions Report

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Gemma jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i work in a pub restaurant and ppl just do it there and leave the nappy, i never see them do it just the nappy, i wouldnt mind but its a small pub and the toilets arent miles away

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#6

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Mothers who sees their daughter as competition

Salt-Direction4885 , Jon Flobrant Report

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mYst17
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or as mini-them whom they try to force to lead the life they couldn't

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After reading the reactions and opinions shared by fellow community members, the user guessed that this thread resonated with so many people because "there are sadly so many helicopter, redneck, and [bad] parents out there." The user also mentioned that in their opinion, these behaviors mentioned in the list are the results of harmful relationships people had with their own parents, "So naturally, they continue to abuse their own kids."

#7

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Kids destroying other people's stuff/property and the parents are just standing there and laughing like it's a form of amusement. Once went into a older movie store and there was a child bashing the glass with his ball and throwing the movies all over the floors. The mother (presumedly) let her child continue to do that despite others' protests including the manager's. I don't fault the child, doesn't know any better. The mother should've been asked to leave the store with her son.

InfiniteWords117 , Keira Burton Report

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#8

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents I lost count of how many parent conferences I had that went like this:

Me: You child’s grades and behavior are horrible.

Them: I don’t know what to do! I’ve tried everything!

Me: Like what?

Them: I took their PS5 away, and their XBOX360, but then they went crazy, so I gave it back to them.

Me: So you tried like nothing?

Edward_the_Dog , Ron Lach Report

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Kathy Rayborn
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I have never seen or had a teacher behave so rudely. On the contrary, it’s usually the parents who behave badly.

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#9

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents When I waited tables in college, I saw a mother fill her young toddler’s bottle with Coca-cola. I thought it was just horrible.

lobsters_love_butter , brokinhrt2 Report

It’s no secret that poor parenting feels heavy and confusing as it can have a long-term impact on how a child sees themselves and the world. After all, kids have a tendency to soak up everything adults say or do like sponges. Whether parents consistently criticize their little ones, control every aspect of their lives, use guilt to manipulate their children, or are emotionally and physically abusive, they can do a lot of harm to their children’s lives.

Of course, we're not here to vilify all parents. The reality is that moms and dads can make mistakes, whether intentionally or not. But when they constantly pass on the same harmful behaviors to their kids, it can lead to a traumatic childhood.

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As stated in an article on Healthline, there’s no such medical term as a "toxic parent". Since every family is different, there’s no clear definition of what behavior patterns clearly define this concept. However, it’s usually used to describe individuals who behave in ways that cause fear, guilt, or obligation in their children. "A toxic parent, however, is more concerned with their own needs than whether what they’re doing is harmful or damaging. They likely won’t apologize or even admit that what they are doing is wrong. And the abuse or neglect tends to be ongoing or progressive."

#10

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents When their kids could literally set the world on fire and they'll blame anyone else to avoid responsibility.

Difficult_Shine3675 , Anastasia Shuraeva Report

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Stardust she/her
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly how my father treats my brother, acting as if he did no wrong all the time

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#11

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Parents emotionally blackmailing their kids. Using guilt and obligation to control their children.

SuvenPan , Zhivko Minkov Report

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Gemma jones
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

lol yeah thats why i dont talk to my parents, took me a long time to break the cycle,

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#12

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Smoking in the car with the kids in the back.

2leewhohot , Jonas Leupe Report

Psychologist Chivonna Childs, Ph.D., explained to Cleveland Clinic that toxic parents are more self-centered than other-centered. "Any time you think a person is toxic, you look at their behavior. Those traits can belong to our parents as well," she added. "Those are signs of toxic people. Our parents are individuals, they’re people. They just happen to be our parents."

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When it comes to harmful parenting patterns and the effects they have on a child, the biggest one is the constant feeling of being trapped. "Whether it’s physical, verbal or emotional abuse, you feel trapped if you’re a child," Dr. Childs says. "It’s not like a child can just get up and leave, to go live on his or her own. You’re left at the mercy of the people who love and take care of us."

#13

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Watching YouTube videos on their phone at full volume without headphones while in a public place

ColtenLance , bruce mars Report

#14

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents There is a kid (maybe 8-10 years old) on the other side of my street right now yelling slurs and telling everyone who walks by to go f**k themselves while their parent sits on the porch smoking weed and laughing. This is a regular occurrence. I'm fairly certain the kid has a mental disorder but the fact that the parent seems to be encouraging the behavior is pretty trashy.

SternCoats , Scott Webb Report

#15

Posting videos of your child having a meltdown while you mock them.

msjammies73 Report

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Valden
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What about those who pull pranks on their children putting it online. Nothing like breaking your child's trust in you then humiliating them by putting it on the internet. That's some good parenting right there.

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Moreover, toxic parenting impacts future relationships. Because parents are children's introduction to the world, Dr. Childs explained kids deem their behaviors to be completely normal until they’re 5 or 6 years old. Unfortunately, once they realize the impact of these actions, the damage has already been done. "These are learned behaviors that we can continue to perpetuate on others as well as our own children," she said. "If you’re raised thinking that toxic behavior is normal, then you’ll think that’s how you’re supposed to behave with your children, too."

"If we don’t understand how to treat people and how to be in reciprocal relationships where there’s a give and take, then it can spread beyond your family, too."

#16

Maybe an unpopular opinion, but ear piercings on kids just past the newborn stage.

RichardNotJudy Report

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ScarletRos
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don’t agree with piercing babies ears either - why does a baby need earrings?? When the kid gets older and asks it’s fine but to me it’s just another thing you need to look after.

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#17

I know not everyone will agree with me on this, but parents buying their kid's vapes and other things at a young age.

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#18

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Too many pets. Like...way too many to the point where they don't really take care of them.

MintyPastures , Chewy Report

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Cubbypotato
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES!!! REMEMBER 15 or more cats or 15 or more dogs or a combination of dogs and cats that add up to 15 or more IS A Hoarding Case! Call animal control or 911!

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Growing up with toxic parents is a difficult situation to be in. Children may feel neglected or that they can never do anything right, which in turn alters their sense of self-esteem and safety at home. It can even lead to dire consequences for their physical and mental health. If you recognize some of these toxic traits in your parents, thankfully, there are ways to cope with these behaviors.

It's helpful to focus on yourself and find supportive people who can help you move past these negative patterns and make your way forward. In more extreme cases, however, seeking professional help is important as it can guide you to better understand and process your emotions.

#19

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Making your kids take care of their siblings instead of them having a life.

hopefulleo2112 , Limor Zellermayer Report

#20

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Kids that smell like smoke because their parents smoke indoors.

It was my parents. Everybody hated when we came over because everything we'd touch would smell like cigarettes as well. Couldn't convince my parents to smoke outside of the home because "it's their house and they'll do as they please".

bumblingbirdy , Maksim Goncharenok Report

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Bored Retsuko
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same here. I must have stunk to high hell to others ... It was different times.

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#21

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Babies in the background of twerking videos. It's just weird.

Nillabeans , Artem Podrez Report

Setting healthy boundaries also helps us set clear expectations and limits of how others can treat us. "Parents don’t suddenly change and become nontoxic. You may have to distance yourself from them to heal and that can be a hard pill to swallow," Dr. Childs noted.

It may feel uncomfortable to create this emotional and physical space between you and your parents, but the psychologist explained this is precisely what you would do with any other toxic person in your life. "We have to let them know what’s appropriate and what’s not because boundaries will help you heal."

#22

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Parents that seem disinterested in their kids. They don't even necessarily have to be neglected (though they usually are). I just find it strange when I see kids very obviously trying to reach out to their parents or creating a bit of a scene in public and the parents are just like, "yeah, whatever" and go back on their phones.

chipsails , Ksenia Makagonova Report

#23

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Refusing to believe their kid can do wrong

rippedradiator , Ksenia Chernaya Report

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Gemma jones
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

my parents were opposite, they didnt thnk and still dont think i can do anything good

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#24

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents When the kids are sick and contagious, but the parent(s) want a night out, and don't tell their childcare provider their kids are sick.

holdingpotato , Kelly Sikkema Report

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James016
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

When my son first started school, we kept him home any time he had a slightly raised temperature. The school actually called us in for a meeting to see what was going on. Turns out we were being over cautious. The school said to only keep him home if his temperature is over 38C and the thermometer goes amber.

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"Parents are the most difficult boundaries because they gave birth to you, they know what buttons to push," she pointed out that setting limits with family members can seem almost impossible.

If that's the case, trying to talk to a trusted friend can help give you the necessary emotional support and motivation to stick to your new boundaries. "They will become upset but that means it’s working. If they can’t respect those boundaries, we have to love them from a distance. That allows us to be free from their toxicity," Dr. Childs concluded.

#25

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Young children whose teeth are already black and rotting from lack of care.

Children in dirty/smelly clothes - not from a child playing outside as kids do, but legitimately filthy, unwashed, clothes.

Kids running wild in public with no attempts to reign them in.

WrongRedditKronk , Ketut Subiyanto Report

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mYst17
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This might mean they come from an under-privileged family. It isn't very fair to jump to conclusions, you never know what they may be going through Edit: I do concur that basic hygiene is affordable, thank you everyone who pointed this out. :) I was suggesting that some of these scenarios aren't necessarily a sign of bad parenting

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#26

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Alowing your children to become obese, its child abuse, simple as that. No reason a 12 year old should be 180lbs.

aup123 , Charles Parker Report

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mYst17
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Except maybe poverty and the only food they can afford is fast food and snacks? https://www.theguardian.com/business/2020/aug/09/poverty-causes-obesity-low-income-families-need-to-be-better-off-to-eat-well

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#27

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents When I see a 5 year old in nothing but a diaper, and a pacifier to shut them up.

I’m not saying those are always indications of it. But when I show up to babysitting job. And there’s a clearly-to-old for a diaper kiddo greeting me. I’m probably going to meet some trashy parents

anon , Jana Sabeth Report

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Tams21
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I went to a babysitting job and saw a five year old with a diaper and a pacifier, my first thought would be that need to have a gentle conversation with the parents to find out why, as it's important to know so I can provide adequate care. I worked as a kindergarten teacher for a decade and the only five year olds I saw in diapers all had some form of disability.

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#28

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Having a favorite child

Available_Dress1405 , OPPO Find X5 Pro Report

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General Anaesthesia
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Having one isn't a problem, treating them like one is. My just a little bit favourite will never know.

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#29

Cussing out their school-age kids, especially out in public.

Constant-Bet-6600 Report

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Kathryn Baylis
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most especially while threatening bodily harm to them. I remember being in my car, ready to leave a store, and seeing a young father with his small children. When I heard him angrily threaten to “F**k you up” to one of his kids, I stuck around to be sure he didn’t lash out. If he had, I would’ve called 911, while calling him out (damn right I get involved when I see s**t like that—-I’m old, I look like everybody’s Mom, and I have no more f***s to give). Couple minutes later, he apologized to the child, and said he shouldn’t have said that. Granted, it was already said, but at least he apologized. I felt OK to leave then.

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#30

30 People Get Real And Honest About What Screams Trashy Parents Babies with pierced ears

metzgermeister87 , Carla Schizzi Report

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Dana Ondráčková
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thats normal on my surrounding. Me and my two sisters had our ears pierced as babies, our dad bought us golden earrings as a birth gift and we cherish them. He also bought us golden rings at our 18th birthdays. I dont see anything bad with babies And earrings

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Ivo H
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Have to back up Dana, because this can be more like cultural thing in Czechia. Many people choose to do it and many children who didn't get their ears pierced let non-professionals do it later to wear earings (imagine the-parent-trap-level-needle-and-lemon-style piercing from random friend).

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Rachknits
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is a real bug bear for me. Why inflict pain on a toddler just because you like the way pierced ears look?

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MellonCollie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's very often a cultural thing, I don't see why one would deem the parents to be trashy if they do this. I personally would not, but I'm very well aware of the cultural aspect. If you take care of the pierced ears, I also don't see how it would bother a baby.

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2picklesinabun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think this is a sign of anything. Mostly a cultural thing.

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Emily mack
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I wish my parents did it then cause then you don’t have to remember the pain!

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Mary Kelly
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it's a cultural thing that has nothing to do with trashiness...most of the world pierces children's ears...

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DetongLhamo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Revolting. Let them grow up enough to make their own decisions about their bodies.

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Nikki
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's so interesting to see the amount of people arguing that this is a cultural thing so it's ok, but a traditional African dance(twerking) that isn't literally inflicting pain on a child is 'trashy'. I wonder why that is.

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Eunice Bentley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A nurse walked into my hospital room and asked if I wanted my daughter's ears pierced because the lady who did them was in the nursery. Remembering the pain I felt when my friend did mine at 16 years old, I said no. She got them pierced when she turned 16. Got an infection in her holes took well over 6 weeks to clear and heal, I think she would have healed faster if I had agreed to it being done when she was 2-3 days old.

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G'ma B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It looks pretty on little baby girls all decked out for a holiday.

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S Cooley
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kinda reminds of when people used to belive babies dont feel pain

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Piper L
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For some reason it just has always looked very tacky to me. Maybe because they all seem to have the same cheap looking gold studs? Might be all they make for that small an ear for all I know, just think it looks like tacky knock off gold plated cheapness.

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Rivka Ostroff
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It is real gold usually and the reason is because baby earrings are small and have a special clasp so they don't bother the baby. It literally feels like a pinch and my daughter didn't even cry.

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madeline tansey bryson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being a " normal" or " cultural " thing does not make it right . I don't get you people. It's abuse you are or letting others stab your child. If this is ok are tattoos. Why not nipple piercings? The cultural female cutting. Shall we allow it on our pets. I am sure it will look cute on my dog

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