Bored Panda works better on our iPhone app
Continue in app Continue in browser

BoredPanda Add post form topAdd Post Search
Tooltip close

The Bored Panda iOS app is live! Fight boredom with iPhones and iPads here.

Someone Asks Whether Parents Should Say ‘Sorry’ To Their Kids, People Share Eye-Opening Messages
User submission
43
22.1K

Someone Asks Whether Parents Should Say ‘Sorry’ To Their Kids, People Share Eye-Opening Messages

ADVERTISEMENT

Probably the best way to teach children how to behave is to set a good example. However, many people believe there are limits to what kind of behavior parents should model for their children. For instance, apologizing. When one news outlet started a discussion on whether parents should say sorry to their kids, people shared some rather controversial opinions.

 

 

Image credits: ST_LifeTweets

Some people offered rather elaborate responses on why they think apologizing to kids is a must

Image credits: duckfiqah

Image credits: duckfiqah

Image credits: duckfiqah

ADVERTISEMENT
ADVERTISEMENT

Others, however, brushed it off as unnecessary

Image credits: BlaamLaambb

Image credits: shawnindublin

Image credits: asanchezjr11

Image credits: grandesconte

Image credits: zulchemx

22Kviews

Share on Facebook
You May Like
Popular on Bored Panda
Write comments
Add photo comments
POST
isabellanuzzi avatar
Isabella
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**K YES! YOU SHOULD SAY SORRY. It builds a better relationship. People keep saying that the children don't raise the parents and give them food and stuff. Oh well i'm sorry that you CHOSE to have a child and keep it and you are literally doing the minimum you need to do. -_-

diz_1 avatar
Laugh Fan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I completely, wholeheartedly agree with you. My parents didn't and it was damaging to our relationships. My other sisters struggle with making decent apologies years later - I went the other way and over-apologise and get told off for it by my husband!! However, children won't learn to do something if you don't teach it to them and then lead by example. Kids aren't dumb - they'll spot when you should apologise and if you don't do it when it matters they will not forget it.

Load More Replies...
shewolfalia avatar
Alia G.
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so obvious. People forget that you're not just raising them to BE good people, kids already ARE people. They're just learning how to be people in this world. I hate the people saying that their kids owe something to them just for being their kids. Children don't pay the bills because they literally can't. When you have children you have a responsibility to them to care for them properly and do your best to make them good people

christmas avatar
Chris Jones
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They are probably the type of person who thinks of children as 'theirs' as though they are property. They are individuals who need to be taught how to be good people, just as you say. Apologising when you stuff up is a significant part of being a good person, with strong morals and good values. Teach it by doing it. Say sorry parents! In my experience you'll need to at some point.

Load More Replies...
info_884 avatar
Alex Bailey
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! Say sorry and make it meaningful. Saying 'sorry if I upset you' is not an apology. a) there is no if about it b) I want you to be sorry for what you did as well as for upsetting me. If you aren't sorry for what you did, well, you might do it again and how can I trust you after that?

hrr311 avatar
Helena R
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@ Alex Bailey As someone who's mother has never sincerely apologised to me you've really struck a cord

Load More Replies...
nvi08140 avatar
The Girl on Fire
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think parents sometimes play the "I'm The Parent" card to justify their crappy actions. You chose to become a parent, you have the responsibility, not your kid. You should be a role model to them and teach you child how they should except people to treat them. My mother has never apologized for me, ever. Not for belittling me over the tiniest mistakes, not for blaming me for her own problems, not for anything. This led to a broken relationship with her and low self-esteem. If you would rather damage your kid for life then take a tiny hit to the ego, then you shouldn't be a parent.

deb_14 avatar
Carrie de Luka
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very true. There is this strange idea that parents always want the best for their children, that parents know best - how come so many of us had crappy childhoods then? There are some c**p parents out there. If you want to be a good parent you will still make mistakes, we all acknowledge that, so when you do you admit it to your child and say sorry.

Load More Replies...
krystalzombiegirladams avatar
ZombieGirl5591
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im 32. My "mother" never said sorry for anything she ever did to me. She owes me thousands of apologies. Today, I have a hard time saying it when I need to say it. Today, we haven't spoken in years and never will.

info_884 avatar
Alex Bailey
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry to read that but totally understand. My father was the same. I agree with something someone else wrote - it takes strength to admit to making a mistake. I always want to be a better person than my father. Though the bar is low...!! So I apologise and I make sure that the person knows I am sorry when I mess up.

Load More Replies...
hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand (but don't agree) with the concern some have about appearing fallible. However, the reasons people gave are weird. The kids don't pay the bills? Mom mother didn't apologize and I'm fine? What?!

deb_14 avatar
Carrie de Luka
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being fallible, well, you need to teach children that it's okay to make mistakes, learn from them and move on, don't you? As you say - stupid, stupid reasons. I've always hated the 'I had x or y happen in my childhood and I'm fine'. Well, your children may well not be, they are not a copy of you. I really resent my parents for some of the things they did, things that they shouldn't have done and definitely never apologised for. If parents think their children won't remember, oh boy are they in for a shock.

Load More Replies...
vanderscheer avatar
CrazyCatLady
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don't pay the bills, so as a parent you don't have to say sorry to your child!!! That's the most stupid reasoning I've ever heard. Just say sorry when you're wrong. I'm not a parent, but I've got enough children around me (neighourhood, family) to know that saying sorry when you're wrong is a good thing. And not only say it but explaining why you're sorry as well.

deb-lucas avatar
Dilly Millandry
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You were also a child and can look back and see what worked with you, your siblings and friends and what didn't. Our experiences as children do count although parents have tried to convince me they don't in the 'you can't know you aren't one' kind of way. Yeah, yeah - and the onlooker sees most of the game folks.

Load More Replies...
sindustrydesign avatar
Penny Kemper
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course you say sorry. Why wouldn't you give your kids, that you love, the same courtesy you'd give a stranger?

veni_vidi_vicky avatar
Vicky Zar
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure some people really love their children. By the sound of it (eg. "I am the parent", "I pay the bills") some resent them (for existing?).

Load More Replies...
katejameson7 avatar
Kate
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wtf is wrong with some people. of course you should say sorry. ridiculous

1molksiazkowy avatar
Enuya
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should say "sorry" to everybody who deserves it. Nevermind, it's your grandma, boss, child or just random stranger. You did something wrong? Apologize. I don't understand, why some people do not get it. As for me, apologizing when you said or did something wrong is not only a way to fix things - it also shows that you respect this another human being, that you understand their anger and broken feelings. Most people love their children and want them to be happy. If so, why dehumanizing and belittling them by denying them their basic right to receive an apology?

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You really should. My father never apologized to me and always wanted to be the one to 'win an argument' even if he was completly wrong. As an adult I cant stand him...

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it strange that we should have different standards for our children than we do for other people. If I tread on your foot by mistake, or I give you the wrong information, or I bite your head off when you did nothing wrong, then I owe you an apology and you get one. Why would it be any different for a child, mine or anybody else's?

hehart14 avatar
Reilly Beryll
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People view their children as objects. There is so much pressure to “keep children under control” that people do not sympathize. It’s depressing. They’re people. If anything, children should be those you’re even more likely to apologize to, as they’re impressionable and still learning. Still, we should apologize to everyone, whether they’re a stranger or your own boss.

Load More Replies...
hehart14 avatar
Reilly Beryll
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, sure, the parents pay the bills. They care for the house. But did you know that your child is a human being too? And that you would, if wronged, want an apology? So you should teach your child that, because they have a load on their shoulders, they should hold that over others? And be spiteful? Egotistical? Apologize if you've wronged them, and explain why. Make them a better person. Show them that they should show concern for others and acknowledge when they’re wrong.

johnlm1981 avatar
John Montgomery
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very well said. I was shocked they gave that as a reason not to apologise. It's like they equate apologising to an allowance or asking for money or something. I really don't see a connection between the two.

Load More Replies...
massiminil avatar
Linda Massimini
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you want the child to learn healthy boundaries and how to properly treat others and themselves, you must treat them like human beings from the get go. This is especially important for building trust between you and your child. If you child sees you as an honest, thoughtful, caring parent, they are more likely to be an honest, thoughtful, caring person themselves, and will trust you to protect and nurture them, and will be more inclined to listen and respond correctly to your direction.

ngaerewoodford avatar
NWB
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I noticed now with my own child I dont say sorry, I say things like well if you hadnt done this/that etc I put the blame on her.....im an a*****e. I have begun to stop myself and say sorry if im in the wrong with her, my parents werent sorry people either and just laid blame on me. Break the cycle.

diz_1 avatar
Laugh Fan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But you have realised and admitted it. Good for you! Now you can, as you say, break the cycle. She will only appreciate you more for being honest and taking your share of the blame when things go awry. Apologising takes strength of character and won't that be wonderful to see develop in your child?

Load More Replies...
lighterinparkjungyeonshand avatar
Lighter In Park Jung Yeon's Hand
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That moment when elder people not only "won't apologize" to you (when they are at fault), but also bring out the "La Chancla" if u TRY to make them apologize in the most kindest way.....

deb_14 avatar
teija48720 avatar
NoYFB
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Abusive parents don't think they need to say that to their kids. Spanking them is a strong signal; parents don't respect their kids. Sometimes parents forget kids are not "ready" yet and they are allowed to make mistakes.

agneirbe avatar
loading...
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People are acting like others are saying that parents should apologise lots and for everything! NO! You apologise for your wrongdoings! Is it really that difficult to grasp!? OF COURSE YOU NEED TO SAY SORRY!

ruslana_kusova avatar
Ruslana
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry is such a simple yet complicated thing. I mean it's not even acknowledging you are wrong, it can be simply stating that you feel bad for causing discimfort, hurting someone. But for some people it just means admitting being weak and it's extremely hard to understand, accept and practice when you are already grown up

diz_1 avatar
Laugh Fan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If people think an apology means admitting being weak then that’s their pride getting in the way and they are too worried about what others will think of them. Most of us mind what other people think to some extent but, if you want genuine respect, you have to show you have good morals and strong values, use good judgement. Strong people face up to their mistakes and apologise. People get more respect for accepting their errors and by making amends than anyone ever will by ignoring them or blaming others.

Load More Replies...
rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you a flawed human? Is your child a human? Then the answer is wtf of course yes.

pusheenbuttercup avatar
pusheen buttercup
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One thing you learn as an adult is that you are not perfect- there is no such thing as the perfect parent or the perfect child or perfect human being. You WILL make mistakes, and when you have done something wrong, you should apologize, even if that someone that you've wronged is your child. If they see you do it, when it's appropriate, they will learn to say sorry to others too and grow into a better human being. I personally believe you should also say sorry even if it was an accident, because we do hurt people unintentionally sometimes. It took me forever to learn how to say sorry, even for accidents. It's a tough but very important lesson.

johnlm1981 avatar
John Montgomery
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's quite simple. If someone makes a mistake they need to apologise. It is irrelevant if said person is a parent or not.

kathrynstretton avatar
kathryn stretton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course you say sorry if you are sorry. If you are not sorry, you don't. What 's the problem here? Normal courtesy, young or older, same.

deb-lucas avatar
Dilly Millandry
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if someone doesn't feel particularly sorry there may be a good case for them apologising. This is if they've mucked something up and it affects someone else negatively. The apology is not about the them after all, it's about the other person who has been harmed in some way by their actions.

Load More Replies...
christopheferreira avatar
Christophe Ferreira
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are people who think you should not? What?! "You're the authority" ... So what? If a cop arrests you because he mistook you for a guy with the same tshirt or something. When he realizes the mistake, you would expect an apology, even if you understand mistakes happen. But because he's the authority, he should just shrug arresting you?

heidimatsumoto avatar
Heidi Matsumoto
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PARENTS SHOULD SAY SORRY TO THEIR KIDS ONLY WHEN THEY DO SOMETHING WRONG OF COURSE. As an adult, I've realized how unfair it was before when my parents hurt me when I didn't even do anything wrong at all and they didn't even admit that they're wrong nor say sorry. Not saying sorry to your kids will teach the kids to stick to their pride and think that they're right all the time. Worst, they won't learn how to weigh things and identify which is right and wrong and they won't learn to say sorry or feel that their pride is devastated when they get to a situation in which they have to say sorry. Honestly, my parents never taught me a lot of values especially the importance of saying sorry but luckily, I grew up to be the child they're happy to have.

angele_therese avatar
Noez
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this dumb AF and whoever asked that question shouldn't have kids. The fact that they asked makes them not qualified to raise kids. Source: My damn parents.

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people who are saying No, parents don't need to apologize, are giving the argument that the person in power never needs to apologize. Apply that to your job, to the government, to the police. "Oh hey, do you make the purchasing decisions here? No? Then I don't need to apologize for laying off 20 people and not giving you a cost-of-living increase this year." or "Oh hey, do you carry a gun and keep the peace? No? Then keep your nose out of the fact that we're unlawfully holding an innocent person." If the people in charge are not held accountable, they can get away with anything. That's why it's MORE important for the people with power to apologize, not less.

tlilly avatar
Gracie Mae
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as a parent, how else are they supposed to learn? children learn by example! be the person you want your child to be, teach them 'old-fashioned' things like manners, compassion, etc.

james_grey avatar
James Grey
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father has never apologized for anything...ever. Even when he knows he's wrong... which he always is. According to him...he pays for everything and he's the boss. He's a huge trump supporter. Enough said. I find myself over apologizing to people...even when I didn't do anything because I never want to be like the a*****e who raised me.

allenscottldtke avatar
A dose of reality...
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, of course, parents should say "sorry" to their children when it's necessary! Who was capable of posting that question?? Hopefully somebody without kids...

fmc avatar
Niall Mac Iomera
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are people who have a policy of never apologising to kids? Wtf?

rhon avatar
Rhon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course you should apologise if you’ve done the wrong thing!

caprisun25 avatar
Capri Figueroa
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I learned on a kids' show to "say sorry and ask how I can fix it". I was 26 ; Even adults need reminders.

jenniferkerkow avatar
jennifer kerkow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't have children if you're going to treat them like trash. If you treat them like they are a burden onto you and parade yourself around like you're being so generous with giving them shelter and food, don't have kids. ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CARE FOR THEM. You CHOSE to have kids and the standard is for you to care for them. You aren't some God because you shelter and feed them. That's the standard, nothing special worth lording over your children.

therogue162000 avatar
Bumblebee
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some parents feel that with authority comes a certain level of respect and that authority and respect makes them feel like they are not required to apologize to the people under their authority (i.e. their children). It's hard to not hold it against them, but I am aware that it is something that was passed down to them and to us. The same thing applies to other people in positions of authority: bosses who never feel like they owe their employees apologies, teachers with their students, etc. I experienced this growing up and it frustrated me to no end. I will try my best (and hopefully succeed most times) to end the perpetuation of this attitude when I have my own kids. At the end of the day it's really simple. You do something wrong, you apologize. No one should be above this.

jana_makarevitch avatar
Yana Makarevitch
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently, you should apologise to people only if they pay your bills.

chloemlewis avatar
The True Red Panda
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf?. Of course apoligize. Trust is two way ppl! Omg, how messed up r u to ask that, or say NO U DONT. If you ask these same ppl is abuse okay? Of COURSE not. But there is verbal abuse too!!! And, really, the "I apoligize because it's the right thing to do" line- that was my favorite. You don't apologize because it's the right thing to do. You apoligize because you are genuinely SORRY. And some ppl wonder why the kids are f****d up... And then, these kids are the future, ppl want them to be good adults. When they grow up, they have to have manners. I guess what I'm trying to say is that kids watch the adults and imitate them. Parents set the first examples they ever see. You have to treat them with respect.

larisa_1 avatar
Lara Mig
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There seems to be a pretty clear divide here between good parents (who realize that they're raising a human being who learns by example, and who needs to be treated with respect), and s****y parents (who don't treat their children like real people). I bet I know which ones will end up in a horrible nursing home in old age.

joannie avatar
Joannie Goulet
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I try to teach my kids that sometimes you're wrong or make a mistake and it's okay. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, as long as you are able to admit it and apologize AND DON'T TRY TO FIND EXCUSES. So yes, I do apologize to my kids when I'm wrong, even if it's a small unimportant thing.

sdmiles1986 avatar
Sierra Hall
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I apologized to my daughter just last night. I explained we're all humans and we all make mistakes. Especially parents.

isabellanuzzi avatar
Isabella
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

F**K YES! YOU SHOULD SAY SORRY. It builds a better relationship. People keep saying that the children don't raise the parents and give them food and stuff. Oh well i'm sorry that you CHOSE to have a child and keep it and you are literally doing the minimum you need to do. -_-

diz_1 avatar
Laugh Fan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I completely, wholeheartedly agree with you. My parents didn't and it was damaging to our relationships. My other sisters struggle with making decent apologies years later - I went the other way and over-apologise and get told off for it by my husband!! However, children won't learn to do something if you don't teach it to them and then lead by example. Kids aren't dumb - they'll spot when you should apologise and if you don't do it when it matters they will not forget it.

Load More Replies...
shewolfalia avatar
Alia G.
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is so obvious. People forget that you're not just raising them to BE good people, kids already ARE people. They're just learning how to be people in this world. I hate the people saying that their kids owe something to them just for being their kids. Children don't pay the bills because they literally can't. When you have children you have a responsibility to them to care for them properly and do your best to make them good people

christmas avatar
Chris Jones
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They are probably the type of person who thinks of children as 'theirs' as though they are property. They are individuals who need to be taught how to be good people, just as you say. Apologising when you stuff up is a significant part of being a good person, with strong morals and good values. Teach it by doing it. Say sorry parents! In my experience you'll need to at some point.

Load More Replies...
info_884 avatar
Alex Bailey
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

YES! Say sorry and make it meaningful. Saying 'sorry if I upset you' is not an apology. a) there is no if about it b) I want you to be sorry for what you did as well as for upsetting me. If you aren't sorry for what you did, well, you might do it again and how can I trust you after that?

hrr311 avatar
Helena R
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

@ Alex Bailey As someone who's mother has never sincerely apologised to me you've really struck a cord

Load More Replies...
nvi08140 avatar
The Girl on Fire
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think parents sometimes play the "I'm The Parent" card to justify their crappy actions. You chose to become a parent, you have the responsibility, not your kid. You should be a role model to them and teach you child how they should except people to treat them. My mother has never apologized for me, ever. Not for belittling me over the tiniest mistakes, not for blaming me for her own problems, not for anything. This led to a broken relationship with her and low self-esteem. If you would rather damage your kid for life then take a tiny hit to the ego, then you shouldn't be a parent.

deb_14 avatar
Carrie de Luka
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very true. There is this strange idea that parents always want the best for their children, that parents know best - how come so many of us had crappy childhoods then? There are some c**p parents out there. If you want to be a good parent you will still make mistakes, we all acknowledge that, so when you do you admit it to your child and say sorry.

Load More Replies...
krystalzombiegirladams avatar
ZombieGirl5591
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Im 32. My "mother" never said sorry for anything she ever did to me. She owes me thousands of apologies. Today, I have a hard time saying it when I need to say it. Today, we haven't spoken in years and never will.

info_884 avatar
Alex Bailey
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm sorry to read that but totally understand. My father was the same. I agree with something someone else wrote - it takes strength to admit to making a mistake. I always want to be a better person than my father. Though the bar is low...!! So I apologise and I make sure that the person knows I am sorry when I mess up.

Load More Replies...
hazelree avatar
Stille20
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I understand (but don't agree) with the concern some have about appearing fallible. However, the reasons people gave are weird. The kids don't pay the bills? Mom mother didn't apologize and I'm fine? What?!

deb_14 avatar
Carrie de Luka
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Being fallible, well, you need to teach children that it's okay to make mistakes, learn from them and move on, don't you? As you say - stupid, stupid reasons. I've always hated the 'I had x or y happen in my childhood and I'm fine'. Well, your children may well not be, they are not a copy of you. I really resent my parents for some of the things they did, things that they shouldn't have done and definitely never apologised for. If parents think their children won't remember, oh boy are they in for a shock.

Load More Replies...
vanderscheer avatar
CrazyCatLady
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They don't pay the bills, so as a parent you don't have to say sorry to your child!!! That's the most stupid reasoning I've ever heard. Just say sorry when you're wrong. I'm not a parent, but I've got enough children around me (neighourhood, family) to know that saying sorry when you're wrong is a good thing. And not only say it but explaining why you're sorry as well.

deb-lucas avatar
Dilly Millandry
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You were also a child and can look back and see what worked with you, your siblings and friends and what didn't. Our experiences as children do count although parents have tried to convince me they don't in the 'you can't know you aren't one' kind of way. Yeah, yeah - and the onlooker sees most of the game folks.

Load More Replies...
sindustrydesign avatar
Penny Kemper
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course you say sorry. Why wouldn't you give your kids, that you love, the same courtesy you'd give a stranger?

veni_vidi_vicky avatar
Vicky Zar
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm not sure some people really love their children. By the sound of it (eg. "I am the parent", "I pay the bills") some resent them (for existing?).

Load More Replies...
katejameson7 avatar
Kate
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

wtf is wrong with some people. of course you should say sorry. ridiculous

1molksiazkowy avatar
Enuya
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You should say "sorry" to everybody who deserves it. Nevermind, it's your grandma, boss, child or just random stranger. You did something wrong? Apologize. I don't understand, why some people do not get it. As for me, apologizing when you said or did something wrong is not only a way to fix things - it also shows that you respect this another human being, that you understand their anger and broken feelings. Most people love their children and want them to be happy. If so, why dehumanizing and belittling them by denying them their basic right to receive an apology?

andreavilarmelego avatar
Ozacoter
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You really should. My father never apologized to me and always wanted to be the one to 'win an argument' even if he was completly wrong. As an adult I cant stand him...

jmchoto avatar
Jo Choto
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find it strange that we should have different standards for our children than we do for other people. If I tread on your foot by mistake, or I give you the wrong information, or I bite your head off when you did nothing wrong, then I owe you an apology and you get one. Why would it be any different for a child, mine or anybody else's?

hehart14 avatar
Reilly Beryll
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People view their children as objects. There is so much pressure to “keep children under control” that people do not sympathize. It’s depressing. They’re people. If anything, children should be those you’re even more likely to apologize to, as they’re impressionable and still learning. Still, we should apologize to everyone, whether they’re a stranger or your own boss.

Load More Replies...
hehart14 avatar
Reilly Beryll
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah, sure, the parents pay the bills. They care for the house. But did you know that your child is a human being too? And that you would, if wronged, want an apology? So you should teach your child that, because they have a load on their shoulders, they should hold that over others? And be spiteful? Egotistical? Apologize if you've wronged them, and explain why. Make them a better person. Show them that they should show concern for others and acknowledge when they’re wrong.

johnlm1981 avatar
John Montgomery
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Very well said. I was shocked they gave that as a reason not to apologise. It's like they equate apologising to an allowance or asking for money or something. I really don't see a connection between the two.

Load More Replies...
massiminil avatar
Linda Massimini
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you want the child to learn healthy boundaries and how to properly treat others and themselves, you must treat them like human beings from the get go. This is especially important for building trust between you and your child. If you child sees you as an honest, thoughtful, caring parent, they are more likely to be an honest, thoughtful, caring person themselves, and will trust you to protect and nurture them, and will be more inclined to listen and respond correctly to your direction.

ngaerewoodford avatar
NWB
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I noticed now with my own child I dont say sorry, I say things like well if you hadnt done this/that etc I put the blame on her.....im an a*****e. I have begun to stop myself and say sorry if im in the wrong with her, my parents werent sorry people either and just laid blame on me. Break the cycle.

diz_1 avatar
Laugh Fan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

But you have realised and admitted it. Good for you! Now you can, as you say, break the cycle. She will only appreciate you more for being honest and taking your share of the blame when things go awry. Apologising takes strength of character and won't that be wonderful to see develop in your child?

Load More Replies...
lighterinparkjungyeonshand avatar
Lighter In Park Jung Yeon's Hand
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That moment when elder people not only "won't apologize" to you (when they are at fault), but also bring out the "La Chancla" if u TRY to make them apologize in the most kindest way.....

deb_14 avatar
teija48720 avatar
NoYFB
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Abusive parents don't think they need to say that to their kids. Spanking them is a strong signal; parents don't respect their kids. Sometimes parents forget kids are not "ready" yet and they are allowed to make mistakes.

agneirbe avatar
loading...
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

People are acting like others are saying that parents should apologise lots and for everything! NO! You apologise for your wrongdoings! Is it really that difficult to grasp!? OF COURSE YOU NEED TO SAY SORRY!

ruslana_kusova avatar
Ruslana
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sorry is such a simple yet complicated thing. I mean it's not even acknowledging you are wrong, it can be simply stating that you feel bad for causing discimfort, hurting someone. But for some people it just means admitting being weak and it's extremely hard to understand, accept and practice when you are already grown up

diz_1 avatar
Laugh Fan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If people think an apology means admitting being weak then that’s their pride getting in the way and they are too worried about what others will think of them. Most of us mind what other people think to some extent but, if you want genuine respect, you have to show you have good morals and strong values, use good judgement. Strong people face up to their mistakes and apologise. People get more respect for accepting their errors and by making amends than anyone ever will by ignoring them or blaming others.

Load More Replies...
rachelrosky avatar
Ohio Hands
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Are you a flawed human? Is your child a human? Then the answer is wtf of course yes.

pusheenbuttercup avatar
pusheen buttercup
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One thing you learn as an adult is that you are not perfect- there is no such thing as the perfect parent or the perfect child or perfect human being. You WILL make mistakes, and when you have done something wrong, you should apologize, even if that someone that you've wronged is your child. If they see you do it, when it's appropriate, they will learn to say sorry to others too and grow into a better human being. I personally believe you should also say sorry even if it was an accident, because we do hurt people unintentionally sometimes. It took me forever to learn how to say sorry, even for accidents. It's a tough but very important lesson.

johnlm1981 avatar
John Montgomery
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's quite simple. If someone makes a mistake they need to apologise. It is irrelevant if said person is a parent or not.

kathrynstretton avatar
kathryn stretton
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course you say sorry if you are sorry. If you are not sorry, you don't. What 's the problem here? Normal courtesy, young or older, same.

deb-lucas avatar
Dilly Millandry
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if someone doesn't feel particularly sorry there may be a good case for them apologising. This is if they've mucked something up and it affects someone else negatively. The apology is not about the them after all, it's about the other person who has been harmed in some way by their actions.

Load More Replies...
christopheferreira avatar
Christophe Ferreira
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are people who think you should not? What?! "You're the authority" ... So what? If a cop arrests you because he mistook you for a guy with the same tshirt or something. When he realizes the mistake, you would expect an apology, even if you understand mistakes happen. But because he's the authority, he should just shrug arresting you?

heidimatsumoto avatar
Heidi Matsumoto
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

PARENTS SHOULD SAY SORRY TO THEIR KIDS ONLY WHEN THEY DO SOMETHING WRONG OF COURSE. As an adult, I've realized how unfair it was before when my parents hurt me when I didn't even do anything wrong at all and they didn't even admit that they're wrong nor say sorry. Not saying sorry to your kids will teach the kids to stick to their pride and think that they're right all the time. Worst, they won't learn how to weigh things and identify which is right and wrong and they won't learn to say sorry or feel that their pride is devastated when they get to a situation in which they have to say sorry. Honestly, my parents never taught me a lot of values especially the importance of saying sorry but luckily, I grew up to be the child they're happy to have.

angele_therese avatar
Noez
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I find this dumb AF and whoever asked that question shouldn't have kids. The fact that they asked makes them not qualified to raise kids. Source: My damn parents.

parmeisan avatar
Parmeisan
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The people who are saying No, parents don't need to apologize, are giving the argument that the person in power never needs to apologize. Apply that to your job, to the government, to the police. "Oh hey, do you make the purchasing decisions here? No? Then I don't need to apologize for laying off 20 people and not giving you a cost-of-living increase this year." or "Oh hey, do you carry a gun and keep the peace? No? Then keep your nose out of the fact that we're unlawfully holding an innocent person." If the people in charge are not held accountable, they can get away with anything. That's why it's MORE important for the people with power to apologize, not less.

tlilly avatar
Gracie Mae
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

as a parent, how else are they supposed to learn? children learn by example! be the person you want your child to be, teach them 'old-fashioned' things like manners, compassion, etc.

james_grey avatar
James Grey
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My father has never apologized for anything...ever. Even when he knows he's wrong... which he always is. According to him...he pays for everything and he's the boss. He's a huge trump supporter. Enough said. I find myself over apologizing to people...even when I didn't do anything because I never want to be like the a*****e who raised me.

allenscottldtke avatar
A dose of reality...
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, of course, parents should say "sorry" to their children when it's necessary! Who was capable of posting that question?? Hopefully somebody without kids...

fmc avatar
Niall Mac Iomera
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There are people who have a policy of never apologising to kids? Wtf?

rhon avatar
Rhon
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Of course you should apologise if you’ve done the wrong thing!

caprisun25 avatar
Capri Figueroa
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As I learned on a kids' show to "say sorry and ask how I can fix it". I was 26 ; Even adults need reminders.

jenniferkerkow avatar
jennifer kerkow
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't have children if you're going to treat them like trash. If you treat them like they are a burden onto you and parade yourself around like you're being so generous with giving them shelter and food, don't have kids. ITS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY TO CARE FOR THEM. You CHOSE to have kids and the standard is for you to care for them. You aren't some God because you shelter and feed them. That's the standard, nothing special worth lording over your children.

therogue162000 avatar
Bumblebee
Community Member
4 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some parents feel that with authority comes a certain level of respect and that authority and respect makes them feel like they are not required to apologize to the people under their authority (i.e. their children). It's hard to not hold it against them, but I am aware that it is something that was passed down to them and to us. The same thing applies to other people in positions of authority: bosses who never feel like they owe their employees apologies, teachers with their students, etc. I experienced this growing up and it frustrated me to no end. I will try my best (and hopefully succeed most times) to end the perpetuation of this attitude when I have my own kids. At the end of the day it's really simple. You do something wrong, you apologize. No one should be above this.

jana_makarevitch avatar
Yana Makarevitch
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apparently, you should apologise to people only if they pay your bills.

chloemlewis avatar
The True Red Panda
Community Member
5 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wtf?. Of course apoligize. Trust is two way ppl! Omg, how messed up r u to ask that, or say NO U DONT. If you ask these same ppl is abuse okay? Of COURSE not. But there is verbal abuse too!!! And, really, the "I apoligize because it's the right thing to do" line- that was my favorite. You don't apologize because it's the right thing to do. You apoligize because you are genuinely SORRY. And some ppl wonder why the kids are f****d up... And then, these kids are the future, ppl want them to be good adults. When they grow up, they have to have manners. I guess what I'm trying to say is that kids watch the adults and imitate them. Parents set the first examples they ever see. You have to treat them with respect.

larisa_1 avatar
Lara Mig
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There seems to be a pretty clear divide here between good parents (who realize that they're raising a human being who learns by example, and who needs to be treated with respect), and s****y parents (who don't treat their children like real people). I bet I know which ones will end up in a horrible nursing home in old age.

joannie avatar
Joannie Goulet
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I try to teach my kids that sometimes you're wrong or make a mistake and it's okay. It doesn't mean you're a bad person, as long as you are able to admit it and apologize AND DON'T TRY TO FIND EXCUSES. So yes, I do apologize to my kids when I'm wrong, even if it's a small unimportant thing.

sdmiles1986 avatar
Sierra Hall
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I apologized to my daughter just last night. I explained we're all humans and we all make mistakes. Especially parents.

Popular on Bored Panda
Trending on Bored Panda
Also on Bored Panda