Are you looking for terrible and completely useless life tips? Then you've come to the right place! Bored Panda has compiled a list of the crappiest advice ever.
Some of them come from a sub-Reddit called /r/ShittyLifeProTips, and while they won't actually help you to achieve much, they are at least useful when it comes to making us laugh. From using ketchup as a bookmark to saving yourself precious time by adding toothpaste to meals, these "pro" life tips are sure to put a smile on your face while completely failing to help you in any practical way. Don't forget to vote for your favorite!
P.S.: These tips are a joke and may be dangerous, don't try them yourself!
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Use A Toilet Seat To Put Your Plate On While Watching TV
Take A Selfie Through A Toilet Roll Tube And Pretend You're The Moon
Spray Your Headphones With Some "Johnson's No More Tangles" When They Are Tangled
Cut Your Tennis Balls In Half To Store Two More Balls In Each Can, Saving Space
Sneak A Chocolate Into American Movie Theatres With This Trick
Use This Vest Protect Your Personal Space On The Subway
Wearing a surgical mask and occasionally coughing guarantees added personal space for my NYC subway rides. ;)
Use The Metal Part Of Your Seat Belt To Open Beers While Driving
Magnify Your Phone's Screen By Putting It In A Glass Of Water
Keep Cake Moist By Eating It All In One Sitting
Don't Buy New Socks. Use A Permanent Marker Instead
I've done this to my elbow, had a tiny hole in my black cardigan, was in a hurry, quick fix. Also, life hack: use rubbing alcohol to get permanent marker off :)
Put Your New Tv Box On Your Neighbor's Side So You Wouldn't Get Robbed
Use Laptop Chargers To Heat Snacks Up
Put A Bean Filled Glove On Your Baby's Back When You Want Your Kids To Feel Loved, But You're Too Tired
Impress Your Guests And Reduce Clutter With This Simple Tip
Tired Of Ironing Your Shirts? Get Fat And Watch Those Creases Vanish
If You See Someone Crying, Ask If It Is Because Of Their Haircut
Stop Tears In The Kitchen With This Life Hack
lol in all seriousness, I use eye goggles (cheap ones from the dollar store). I may look ridiculous, but I can get through cutting several onions without tears and burning eyes. Nothing else has worked better than goggles!
I literally chop onions for a living... That is to say that the bulk of the work I do is food preparation at a Philly Cheesesteak restaurant. I process more onions a week than most people process in a year. I don't quite understand how, but even though I abhor onions, I have become immune to their "tear producing" powers. I think it's just one of those things where if you do it often enough, you build up a resistance to it. So I guess... Pro-Tip: Process a 50 lb bag of onions at least once a day, every day for a week, and you will no longer suffer from onion tears. :D
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I'm a man. I use cutting onions as a disguise for letting out my emotions!
Supposedly, chewing gum prevents eyes from burning and tearing up.
It works for me. I started working on my cooking skills during pregnancy, when I was getting teary-eyed very easily, and with gum I could at least still see what I was doing - without, I'd have tears running down to my chin quickly.
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SEE #15 If You See Someone Crying, Ask If It Is Because Of Their Haircut[COLOUR] ???IRONY
Apparently, besides the plastic wrap, one MUST be shirtless to avoid those onion tears.
Just hold your breath as you're cutting. When you need to take another breath, turn away for fresh air. Works every time
I have done this more than once (I didn't cover my mouth and nose though). It works really well in a pinch.
Actually just avoid cutting the bottom (where the root is) of the onion until you are finished slicing it and you are good to go... Works like a charm!
How to avoid cutting onions, say you're allergic to onions. Problem solved
Wipe down the cutting board with water right before you cut onions. Or you can stick an unlit match between your teeth while cutting onions. Both work.
um better solution what you do is you get a wet rag because onion "juice" goes to the closet water source so that would be your tear ducts so by having a wet rag next to it its better
I cut onions with a fan blowing from behind me, blows the vapors away.
Keep water in your mouth during cutting the onions. Works really well!
If you have contact lenses, wear those, no more tears from chopping onions ^_^
we just turn on a fan. this isn'T really bad advice, he did make a hole in the nose area to breathe
I have not found an onion here in SoCal for decades that made me cry.
Instructions unclear. Lost nose hair in little inferno.
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If you cut the onion in half, and wrap it in a paper towel, cut side out, and leave it for a couple of minutes, it will help keep the sulfur gas to a minimum so you can cut it tear free...
Chewing mint gum is far more effective and you wont look nearly as ridiculous.
I want to know this man. He is clearly a life hack genius AND we have the same hair color. 👏🏽👏🏽
WHO IS THIS MAN WE HAVE THE SAME COLOR HAIR. HIT ME UP IF YOU SEE THIS BRO. I WANT TO KNOW YOU.
Contacts are a great shield. I never have burning eyes when they're in.
Contacts are a great shield against burning eyes when cutting onions (for those who wear them).
I chill my onions never ever make my eyes run &last ages somehow ?
Or you can just cut the onion and run it under cold water from your tap. Works every time for me :T
Yeah you do..... I wear them, and if I'm cutting a strong onion I cry everytime!
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Save Time By Adding Toothpaste To Your Food
Use This Tip When You Want To Take A S**t Discretely
Use Duct Tape And Fork When There's No Spoon In The Office
Use Your Hood As A Bowl For Popcorns
Added bonus: No need for perfume, you'll smell great! (Because who DOESN'T love the smell of popcorn?!)
Use Your Phones When You Put Too Much Water In Your Rice
Use This Tip If You Are A Student
Use Your Cat To Clean Your Floors And Save On Expensive Store-Bought Cleaners
Plug A Surge Protector Into Itself For Infinite Power
Use This Go Go Gadget On A Sunny Day Out For A Hands Free Experience
Just Add Water For A Quick And Easy Pasta
Save Money With This Life Hack
Check If You Are Colorblind With This Useful Image
Eat For Free For The Rest Of Your Life
Reverse Your Window A/C Unit Like So To Save On A Costly Heating. It's Also Good For The Environment Because It Cools The Outside, Reducing Global Warming
Use This Hack When Your Car Heater Doesn't Work
Use Shopping Cart As A Backyard Grill
Use A Fork In Case You Haven't Mastered Chopsticks Yet
Put A Plastic Bag Over Your Head To Make You Pass Out So Work Feels Shorter
Buy As Many Tickets As You Can Afford
If You're Up Really Late Studying For Finals, Try Swapping Your Contact Solution With Coffee For A Quick Pick-Me-Up
My cousin did that, he was sent to the hospital. Been blind for three weeks
Suicidal? Buy Yourself A Bright New Pair Of Nikes To Cheer Yourself Up
Use Ketchup As A Bookmark
Save Your Time When Working With Electric By Using This Tip
Use Ruler For This Life Hack
Mix 2 Tbs Lemon Juice, 2 Tbs Vinegar, And 3 Tbs Salt, Then Apply It To Open Cuts And Scrapes Using A Clean Toothbrush As A Safe And Natural Antibiotic
Use A Shopping Cart As A Shelf If You Have No Money For The Furnishings
Spilt Coffee On Your Pants And Don't Want To Look Like A Clumsy Dork? Just Soak Your Pants In A Tub Of Coffee So They Turn Into A Uniform Color Again
Sign All Of Your Blank Checks Now To Save Time Writing Future Checks
Use These To Make Your Car Stop Beeping
Use The Money That's Always In The Banana Stand To Get Dinner When You Are Broke
Put Your Bolognese Into The Washing Machine If What You Really Wanted Was Carbonara
Use This Trick To Make Teacher Think You Are Studying While You're Eating Spaghetti
Don't Waste Money On A Can Of Air, Just Wash Your Dusty Motherboard With Your Dishes
Secure Your Lunch With A Padlock
Use Old Keyboard When You Are Short Of Hangers
Use A Raw Chicken Breast To Pick Up Crumbs And Dust From Hard To Reach Areas
Release Ants Into Your Toaster To Remove Bread Crumbs That Accumulate At The Bottom Which Can Pose A Fire Hazard
Use Windshield Wiper Fluid As A "Universal Fluid" For Break Fluid, Engine Oil, Power Steering Or Just Splash Some On Your Car For A Quick Car-Wash (Major Car Companies Don't Want You To Know This)
Turn One Cigarette Upside Down And Smoke It Last
Millions of people would actually believe this. They all voted for Trump coincidentally.
Use This Tip For A Quick And Easy Breakfast
Keep Cleaning Supplies And Other Useful Household Items On The Bottom Shelves So You Can Ask A Small Child To Get It For You In A Pinch
Use Your Belly Button To Hold Your Jelly Beans
Change Your Iphone 5s Color Within Seconds
Peel A Banana And Put It Through The Hole On Your Bagel To Create A Bananagel
Money Tip
Water Cool Your Computer When It's Running Too Hot To Keep The Temperatures Down
Use A High-Powered Box Fan And Funnel To Quickly Paint Interior Walls
This should only be done for colour refreshing (and should be kept as a "professional" secret)
Put Earplugs In Your Nose To Make It Harder To Breathe
Replace A Broken Ring Of The Shower Curtain With This Easy Hack
Make Homemade Wet Wipes By Soaking Toilet Paper Under Warm Water
When You Break A Glass In The Kitchen, Press The Inner Fleshy Part Of Your Hand Against The Floor To Pick Up The Tiniest Glass Shards That Your Broom And Vacuum Leave Behind
Put A Can Of Beer Between Your Legs When There Is No Beer Holder In Your Car
Access iPhone 7 Headphone Jack With This Simple Hack
Thanks for the exact mm sizing tip. I've been trying to get the correct size for a week.
Put Dried Oak Chips Directly On The Elements Of Your Electric Oven To Give Chicken And Other Meats A Delicious Smokey Flavor While They Cook
Roll Your Window Down, Put A Six Pack Of Beer On It And Roll It Back Up To Keep Half Your Beer Cold On Your Commute To Work
Add An Extra 1-2 PSI To The Driver Side Front Tire When Inflating Your Tires, Because That's The One That Has To Support Your Fat Ass
Pray Yourself In The Eyes With Windex To Quickly Clean Your Contacts Without The Hassle Of Removing Them
Use A Hair Dryer To Preheat A Pizza If You Don't Have A Microwave
Use Plastic Wrap As A Waterproof Phone Case
Ziploc bag works better because there aren't any seams for the water to seep through like plastic wrap. My sister uses it all the time, it works.
Use An Extension Cord To Maximize The Length When Phone Charger Is Too Short To Reach The Outlet
Never Buy Dental Floss Again! Attach A Small Handle In The Middle Of The Dispenser And Use It To Retract The Floss After You Use It Instead Of Tearing Off A New Piece Each Time
Added bonus: flavoured just like the chunks of food you already flossed out
Use Knives To Hang Shit Without Damaging Anything
Use This Life Hack And No One Will Know There Are Holes In Your Shoes
Combine Bathroom Breaks And Lunch Breaks To Maximise Time Efficiency
Marinate, Season, And Tenderize Your Steak All At The Same Time! Add One Cup Off Bbq, Teriyaki, Or Other Flavored Sauce To The Washing Machine, And Run Your Steaks On A Short No Rinse Cycle. Add Spices And Herbs To The Fabric Softener Dispenser For Added Flavor
I'm cringing thinking of some poor mom having to clean this message out of her dryer because their teenage saw it on Facebook and thought it would be a quick way to help with dinner.
Collect The Gummy Catsup Gaskets That Form Around The Top Of The Lid And Put Them In School Lunches As A Healthy Alternative To Sugary Fruit Snacks. Plus They're Loaded With Vitamin C
Use A Projector Instead Of Spilling Yoghurt Everywhere When Your Spoon Is Constantly Tipping Over Your Yoghurt Container
It's brilliant how seriously some people respond to all these great Martha Stewart- like tips.
Thus reminds me of an incident at work. I'm security at a hotel, and we had a genius maid that decided to cut her work time in half by mixing all of her cleaning chemicals into one spray bottle. Guess who got to drag her unconcious body out into the hallway?
Men... don’t buy expensive ribbed condoms, just put a handful of frozen peas into a regular condom before strapping it on!
#19 – The sign has “discreetly” spelled correctly, but you went ahead and used the wrong form of it anyway. (Discreetly means inconspicuously. Discretely means distinctly.) #20 – That’s clearly not duct tape, fool. #21 – Popcorn is already plural. That’s like saying you’re eating spaghettis or shrimps.
S**t your wright. Did yu win a nobl pryze fur literatur? Ur so smart. I bet yu wUr even a Englis majur!!
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View reddit threads on other websites so you can click through pages littered with annoying ads
They missed a tip--- ingesting or injecting disinfectant to get rid of Covid. Jeez, like he said; he's not a doctor but he has a good you-know-what.... Lawyer? Golf cart? IDFK
I've been so busy before that I had to eat lunch and c**p at the same time.
Furnace not working? Just build a campfire in the middle of your living room
I bet there are people out there that would actually do some of these. I once bought the "sight savers" eyeglass spray and laughed when I saw on the instructions "not for use on contact lenses". You would think that is common sense but guess not. Probably the same person that couldn't afford a lamp so they put their finger in an electrical socket and a light bulb in the other. Figured they'd get a free spiked hairdo as well.
I stopped everything after #10 because I was befuddled by the size of her feet!
In the 1960's we would have used the seat belt to open a beer! Easier than the bumper of a '57 Chevy or the edge of a table! beer-598e8...493c9a.jpg 
The shopping cart shelf's actually kind of a cool idea, if you're into that kind of thing.
Keep getting erections in public or in school? Bash one out there and then and you won't get any more for the rest of the day!
Keep getting erections in public? Just bash one out there and then through your pocket and you won't get one for the rest of the day!
A breast pillow may be in my (and your) future This revolutionary device prevents and reduces cleavage wrinkles. Apparently as we age, the wrinkles will creep further south and women will need a specialized pillow between their bosoms while sleeping. Otherwise bye-bye low cut shirts and push up bras. Hello turtlenecks and grandma bras. As a teenager, I couldn't wait to develop enough to show off my cleavage. Up until now people have been happy to see it. I've been contemplating entering a wet t-shirt contest in the near future while men still want to see my boobs. In a few years, they'll want me to put them away.
Keep a diaper bag in your car Yes, the kids are at least potty trained by now. The diaper bag is for me. For those fun girls nights out when you are cracking jokes and laughing uncontrollably, severe leakage may occur. A hacking cough, repetitious sneezing and jumping around a lot may cause similar results
Protest human rights with as much vulgarity and indecency as possible to show how much you truly love and don't hate.
Okay, but #20 does sound like something some poor and desperate college students would do.
These are great and if really stupid people do some and well...get dead...thats Darwinism
Some of these are really just reaching for something to be funny that is not there. For instance: One talks about using Windex for all kinds of ridiculous s**t, yet, it just shows a picture of antifreeze being poured into a radiator...
Did anyone make sure Obama got the tip on golfballa? He is stupid enough to fall for it.
Says the woman who can't spell golf balls. Or tell the difference between golf balls and tennis balls, even when they're labelled
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Some of these are so wrong on so many levels. Be careful what you joke about on the internet.
If someone is stupid enough to do one of the things here then they deserve something s****y happening to them!
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Thus reminds me of an incident at work. I'm security at a hotel, and we had a genius maid that decided to cut her work time in half by mixing all of her cleaning chemicals into one spray bottle. Guess who got to drag her unconcious body out into the hallway?
Men... don’t buy expensive ribbed condoms, just put a handful of frozen peas into a regular condom before strapping it on!
#19 – The sign has “discreetly” spelled correctly, but you went ahead and used the wrong form of it anyway. (Discreetly means inconspicuously. Discretely means distinctly.) #20 – That’s clearly not duct tape, fool. #21 – Popcorn is already plural. That’s like saying you’re eating spaghettis or shrimps.
S**t your wright. Did yu win a nobl pryze fur literatur? Ur so smart. I bet yu wUr even a Englis majur!!
Load More Replies... View reddit threads on other websites so you can click through pages littered with annoying ads
They missed a tip--- ingesting or injecting disinfectant to get rid of Covid. Jeez, like he said; he's not a doctor but he has a good you-know-what.... Lawyer? Golf cart? IDFK
I've been so busy before that I had to eat lunch and c**p at the same time.
Furnace not working? Just build a campfire in the middle of your living room
I bet there are people out there that would actually do some of these. I once bought the "sight savers" eyeglass spray and laughed when I saw on the instructions "not for use on contact lenses". You would think that is common sense but guess not. Probably the same person that couldn't afford a lamp so they put their finger in an electrical socket and a light bulb in the other. Figured they'd get a free spiked hairdo as well.
I stopped everything after #10 because I was befuddled by the size of her feet!
In the 1960's we would have used the seat belt to open a beer! Easier than the bumper of a '57 Chevy or the edge of a table! beer-598e8...493c9a.jpg
The shopping cart shelf's actually kind of a cool idea, if you're into that kind of thing.
Keep getting erections in public or in school? Bash one out there and then and you won't get any more for the rest of the day!
Keep getting erections in public? Just bash one out there and then through your pocket and you won't get one for the rest of the day!
A breast pillow may be in my (and your) future This revolutionary device prevents and reduces cleavage wrinkles. Apparently as we age, the wrinkles will creep further south and women will need a specialized pillow between their bosoms while sleeping. Otherwise bye-bye low cut shirts and push up bras. Hello turtlenecks and grandma bras. As a teenager, I couldn't wait to develop enough to show off my cleavage. Up until now people have been happy to see it. I've been contemplating entering a wet t-shirt contest in the near future while men still want to see my boobs. In a few years, they'll want me to put them away.
Keep a diaper bag in your car Yes, the kids are at least potty trained by now. The diaper bag is for me. For those fun girls nights out when you are cracking jokes and laughing uncontrollably, severe leakage may occur. A hacking cough, repetitious sneezing and jumping around a lot may cause similar results
Protest human rights with as much vulgarity and indecency as possible to show how much you truly love and don't hate.
Okay, but #20 does sound like something some poor and desperate college students would do.
These are great and if really stupid people do some and well...get dead...thats Darwinism
Some of these are really just reaching for something to be funny that is not there. For instance: One talks about using Windex for all kinds of ridiculous s**t, yet, it just shows a picture of antifreeze being poured into a radiator...
Did anyone make sure Obama got the tip on golfballa? He is stupid enough to fall for it.
Says the woman who can't spell golf balls. Or tell the difference between golf balls and tennis balls, even when they're labelled
Load More Replies... Some of these are so wrong on so many levels. Be careful what you joke about on the internet.
If someone is stupid enough to do one of the things here then they deserve something s****y happening to them!
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