Life hacks are awesome. Handy short cuts that let you get the boring stuff done quicker and easier, giving you more time to get on with the more important stuff, like playing with your dog or saving the world.

These life hacks however, are not that. These are parody life hacks, life hacks so creatively useless that the only thing they are good for is making you giggle uncontrollably. Which I guess is an end unto itself right? This is the sequel to our previous pro-tip shit list, which proved wildly popular!

Scroll down the list below and marvel at the absurdity of it all, but whatever you do don’t take any of this terrible advice on board, as some of them are actually pretty dangerous. Do vote for your favourite though!

#1

Don't Throw Out Old Doll Heads. You Can Turn Them Into Handy Night Lights For Your Kids

Don't Throw Out Old Doll Heads. You Can Turn Them Into Handy Night Lights For Your Kids

Improbably_wrong Report

Paul K. Johnson
Community Member
3 years ago

Nice!

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#2

Tired Of Boiling Water Every Time You Make Pasta? Boil A Few Gallons At The Beginning Of The Week And Freeze It For Later

Tired Of Boiling Water Every Time You Make Pasta? Boil A Few Gallons At The Beginning Of The Week And Freeze It For Later

datassque Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

Genius! I will try that today, saves so much time! Wait...

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#3

Non-Smoker Hack

Non-Smoker Hack

buttpoems Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

That's actually a nice idea :)

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#4

Eggs Are Really Healthy And Should Be The Foundation Of Your Diet. Don't Like The Taste? Add Cacao, Butter, Flour And Bake For 30 Minutes

Eggs Are Really Healthy And Should Be The Foundation Of Your Diet. Don't Like The Taste? Add Cacao, Butter, Flour And Bake For 30 Minutes

toromio Report

Anna Wu
Community Member
3 years ago

This is not a horrible tip. :)

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#5

If You Sleep Till Noon You Only Have To Pay For 2 Meals Instead Of 3

If You Sleep Till Noon You Only Have To Pay For 2 Meals Instead Of 3

harriscolten Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

If I'd do that, I'd have to sleep until 6pm, as I could only afford to pay for one meal, after getting fired because of my sleeping schedule :D

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#6

Batteries Dead In Your Smoke Alarm? Just Use Popcorn As A Smoke Alarm. When You Hear Crackling, Grab Your Popcorn And Get The Hell Out

Batteries Dead In Your Smoke Alarm? Just Use Popcorn As A Smoke Alarm. When You Hear Crackling, Grab Your Popcorn And Get The Hell Out

shittyIifetips Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

So you can have a little snack while you watch your house burning down.

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#7

If It Works It Isn't Stupid

If It Works It Isn't Stupid

maharaja17 Report

Evgeniya Khon
Community Member
3 years ago

You can also avoid paying to fix the leak because you will be dead

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#8

Use A Snake To Hold Your Pasta Easily

Use A Snake To Hold Your Pasta Easily

Tucko29 Report

Paul K. Johnson
Community Member
3 years ago

Do you use different snakes to adjust for the number of servings needed?

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#9

If Your Car Is Making An Unsettling Noise, Just Turn Your Radio Up Until It Disappears

If Your Car Is Making An Unsettling Noise, Just Turn Your Radio Up Until It Disappears

theultimatedoot Report

Paul K. Johnson
Community Member
3 years ago

Don't laugh. I did that.

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#10

When Cutting Bagels In Half, Put Your Finger Through The Stabilization Hole To Keep It Steady

When Cutting Bagels In Half, Put Your Finger Through The Stabilization Hole To Keep It Steady

jaapgrolleman Report

Evgeniya Khon
Community Member
3 years ago

Yep you will have a perfectly cut in two bagel and some extra meat and red sauce

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#11

Fill Your Arms With Puppies So No One Can Ask You For Help

Fill Your Arms With Puppies So No One Can Ask You For Help

Report

Kiahna
Community Member
3 years ago

That sounds like a nice hack!

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#12

Pro Tip: If You Stir Coconut Oil Into Your Kale It Makes It Easier To Scrape Into The Trash

Pro Tip: If You Stir Coconut Oil Into Your Kale It Makes It Easier To Scrape Into The Trash

Boobooloo Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

Well... that is spinach! (Believe me, I'm really fun at parties :D)

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#13

Having A Shitty Day? Put On Sunglasses! Now You're Having A Shitty Evening

Having A Shitty Day? Put On Sunglasses! Now You're Having A Shitty Evening

SkillUpYT Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

This made me burst out laughing :D

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#14

Fill A Rubber Glove With Warm Water And Put It On Your Hand When You Feel Lonely

Fill A Rubber Glove With Warm Water And Put It On Your Hand When You Feel Lonely

gregthegregest Report

Cip IESAN
Community Member
3 years ago

Wilsooon!

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#15

Use This Hack With Deaf People

Use This Hack With Deaf People

robotrowboat Report

David Madden
Community Member
3 years ago

My wife is deaf. This is useful. The misunderstandings we have had have been hilarious. For example, the sign for bug and penis are very damn close.

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#16

Want To Get Rid Of Wrinkles Fast? Just Get Bit By A Rattlesnake

Want To Get Rid Of Wrinkles Fast? Just Get Bit By A Rattlesnake

kyletells Report

Some Body
Community Member
3 years ago

And then the rattlesnake can hold your pasta whilst you are at the hospital

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#17

Want To Turn Your Drink Into Diet? No Problem! Just Push This Button

Want To Turn Your Drink Into Diet? No Problem! Just Push This Button

osher32 Report

Some Body
Community Member
3 years ago

When I was a kid I used to think that when you pushed one of the 'buttons' on the lid the drink would change to that type

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#18

Add A Touch Of Magic To Your Cold By Putting Glitter In Your Mouth Before You Sneeze

Add A Touch Of Magic To Your Cold By Putting Glitter In Your Mouth Before You Sneeze

Report

just a thought !
Community Member
3 years ago

And have fun finding glitter everywhere for the next decade 😂

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#19

If Your Phone Screen Is Too Small, Put It In Water. It Will Magnify The Screen Up To 200%

If Your Phone Screen Is Too Small, Put It In Water. It Will Magnify The Screen Up To 200%

gabewil Report

TC
Community Member
3 years ago

How come I never thought about this ...

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#20

Use This Tip To Save Your Money

Use This Tip To Save Your Money

howfemalesact Report

Hamdhaan Hassan
Community Member
3 years ago

anyhow he is not going to remember it so why bother

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#21

Sink Full Of Dirty Dishes? Visitors Imminent? Put Some Clean Dishes In The Dishrack. Now It Looks Like You're Working On It

Sink Full Of Dirty Dishes? Visitors Imminent? Put Some Clean Dishes In The Dishrack. Now It Looks Like You're Working On It

TheJoePilato Report

Paul K. Johnson
Community Member
3 years ago

This isn't a bad tip. :)

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#22

Don't Be Afraid To Use Public Bathrooms Ever Again

Don't Be Afraid To Use Public Bathrooms Ever Again

j0be Report

Rabbitt209
Community Member
3 years ago

Sobbing works too. Be sure you're wearing tear stains when you come out.

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#23

A Slice Of Red Onion In Your Dvd Drive Is An All-Natural Way Of Protecting Your Computer Against Viruses

A Slice Of Red Onion In Your Dvd Drive Is An All-Natural Way Of Protecting Your Computer Against Viruses

thejogging Report

Cip IESAN
Community Member
3 years ago

Mac laptops need no onion, because an apple a day keeps the doctor away!

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#24

To Maximize Horsepower On The Highway Shift From 5th Gear To "R" For Racing

To Maximize Horsepower On The Highway Shift From 5th Gear To "R" For Racing

gregthegregest Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

Dear Lord :D:D:D:D

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#25

If You Put Your Wipers Up Parking Inspectors Are Unable To Give You A Ticket

If You Put Your Wipers Up Parking Inspectors Are Unable To Give You A Ticket

untitled02 Report

Neeraj Jha
Community Member
3 years ago

and you're flipping them a bird in Car language too

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#26

Retread Tires Easily With A Sharpie

Retread Tires Easily With A Sharpie

mike_pants Report

Hamdhaan Hassan
Community Member
3 years ago

cheap and fast

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#27

Use Cello Tape As Hands Free Selfie Stick

Use Cello Tape As Hands Free Selfie Stick

ripeinmay Report

just a thought !
Community Member
3 years ago

And here you have an instagram worthy pic 😂😂😂

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#28

Dress For The Weight You Want, Not The Weight You Have

Dress For The Weight You Want, Not The Weight You Have

dustinyo_ Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

That must be the most horrible tip of all. An the scary thing is: some people really seem to take that one to heart

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#29

Having Trouble Finding A Parking Spot? Turn On Your Hazard Lights To Make Yourself Immune To Traffic Laws, Then Park Wherever You Want

Having Trouble Finding A Parking Spot? Turn On Your Hazard Lights To Make Yourself Immune To Traffic Laws, Then Park Wherever You Want

jtumbaco5 Report

Giorgio Prodoti
Community Member
3 years ago

In Italy it works.

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#30

Don't Have A Flashlight On Your Phone? Take A Picture Of The Sun And Use The Photo To Find Your Way In The Dark

Don't Have A Flashlight On Your Phone? Take A Picture Of The Sun And Use The Photo To Find Your Way In The Dark

Samrulesan Report

Nancy England
Community Member
3 years ago

Aw c'mon, that works......

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#31

When All The Cups Are Dirty And You're Too Lazy To Clean One

When All The Cups Are Dirty And You're Too Lazy To Clean One

Report

David Ross
Community Member
3 years ago

Actually, it is visually appealing.

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#32

Use This Simple Tip To Get Free Meals Forever

Use This Simple Tip To Get Free Meals Forever

TheSlimyDog Report

Tony Masia
Community Member
3 years ago

with the service you get some places this should be a legitimate thing

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#33

Save Hundreds Instantly

Save Hundreds Instantly

daftlimmy Report

Judy Semmens
Community Member
3 years ago

I had a couple of boyfriends who did that with birthdays. That way they could get a present for their birthday while saving money on my birthday. It gets a bit obvious when they want to make up shortly after your birthday, then next year it happens again. (Obviously, doing it before Christmas means they also miss out on getting presents.)

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#34

This Tiny Tool Can Make Any Pair Of Headphones Wireless

This Tiny Tool Can Make Any Pair Of Headphones Wireless

Evan_Giants Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

Amazing! So i can just transform my old ones and don't have to pay 200 quid for a wireless pair that i will lose anyway.

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#35

In An Awkward/Uncomfortable Situation? Just Moon-Walk Away. People Will Think You Are Walking Towards That, But You Are In Fact Leaving

In An Awkward/Uncomfortable Situation? Just Moon-Walk Away. People Will Think You Are Walking Towards That, But You Are In Fact Leaving

Olena Hromova Report

Hamdhaan Hassan
Community Member
3 years ago

moonwalk out of every problem in life and watch your life get destroyed in style

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#36

If You're In A Rush In The Morning, Remember To Save Some Time By Having Breakfast Whilst Cleaning Your Teeth At The Same Time

If You're In A Rush In The Morning, Remember To Save Some Time By Having Breakfast Whilst Cleaning Your Teeth At The Same Time

HaveAGoodDay_ Report

David Ross
Community Member
3 years ago

Is bacon the floss? If it is, count me in!

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#37

Plant Your Hot Dog Seeds Now To Guarantee A Healthy Bounty For Your Backyard BBQ

Plant Your Hot Dog Seeds Now To Guarantee A Healthy Bounty For Your Backyard BBQ

StupidLullabies Report

riley.girl
Community Member
3 years ago

Let me try that!!

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#38

Tear A Strip Off Of Plastic Cups To Make A Convenient Handle

Tear A Strip Off Of Plastic Cups To Make A Convenient Handle

JumpinJalupes Report

Cip IESAN
Community Member
3 years ago

I just tried: it works!

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#39

No Friends? Doesn't Matter. Use This Hack

No Friends? Doesn't Matter. Use This Hack

joeheenan Report

Hamdhaan Hassan
Community Member
3 years ago

hehehe start you day with a hi5

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#40

Not Disabled? Put One Of These On Your Car To Use Disabled Parking Whenever You Like

Not Disabled? Put One Of These On Your Car To Use Disabled Parking Whenever You Like

Roland_Sausage Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

With this sign, most people also seem to lose the capability to use their indicator!

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#41

Take Random Pills

Take Random Pills

gregthegregest Report

Paul K. Johnson
Community Member
3 years ago

mmm... floor pills.... :)

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#42

Use Condoms As Homemade Waterproof Socks

Use Condoms As Homemade Waterproof Socks

Uncle_Retardo Report

Andrew Gibb
Community Member
3 years ago

if you get the ones with spermicide your feet won't get pregnant

Susan Gardner
Community Member
3 years ago

OMG lmao

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DE Ray
Community Member
3 years ago

Actual life hack: use this picture to shut up the idiot who says he can't wear condoms because they're "too small".

Kipper Mcgee
Community Member
3 years ago

Its not about them bragging about a big weenie. Its just uncomfy. I can fit into pants that are small, but they are very uncomfy.

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Sherrie Glendening
Community Member
3 years ago

Or, let your little girls use them as shower caps for their Barbie!

Bunnies are better!!
Community Member
3 years ago

Or boys!!! They can play with barbie dolls too!!!

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ispeak catanese
Community Member
3 years ago

Finally! A real use for the Magnums!

Giulia Betke
Community Member
3 years ago

xxl depending on your foot size ;)

Jim Gorycki
Community Member
3 years ago

That is a very useful hack, especially if you have a cut and don't want to get it wet http://mentalfloss.com/article/70950/15-non-sex-uses-condoms

Cip IESAN
Community Member
3 years ago

Better and cheaper than anti-slip socks!

Wendy Yim
Community Member
3 years ago

Excuse me, that's a Bigass condom lol

Full Name
Community Member
3 years ago

Ribbed socks will massage your feet as you walk.

Full Name
Community Member
3 years ago

Socks? Condoms. I need to get out more.

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David KH Wong
Community Member
3 years ago

It's gonna be a fashion soon.

Socially Awkward
Community Member
3 years ago

Nice socks! 🧦

Allana Rose
Community Member
3 years ago

I just had an inspirational thought here! You know how they tell you to use Vaseline on your feet then wear socks to bed to get smooth feet? Well instead of using socks maybe a condom might be better. (If it doesn't cut off your circulation) !!

Taryn Wallace
Community Member
3 years ago

Just be very careful on carpeted stairs

Ruth mieras
Community Member
2 years ago

That looks painful

Kie Auchmoedy
Community Member
2 years ago

Yes. Just .....yes

Ed Hines
Community Member
2 years ago

wtf kind of rubber are those things made of?!

Jim Hill
Community Member
3 years ago

works for me

UniversalMel
Community Member
3 years ago

Why..... are they green? Christmas edition?

LadyAna
Community Member
3 years ago

That actually might work.

Emelie
Community Member
3 years ago

Thats one great one. They usually burst when you blow then up too big otherwise.

Kiyoko Mori
Community Member
3 years ago

Is it weird I am kinda turned on by this?

Michiel nospam
Community Member
3 years ago

use the ribbed ones, NOT the lubricated ones.

Belle Bell
Community Member
3 years ago

still trying to figure out why one would need waterproof socks... but good to know! 🤣🤘🏻

c
Community Member
3 years ago

to avoid wetting feet.

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Elina Kuusisto
Community Member
3 years ago

Omg so gross! XD

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#43

Nail Art Hack

Nail Art Hack

rob-ho Report

Some Body
Community Member
3 years ago

That actually looks kinda cool, if not a bit sloppy

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#44

Here's A Tip For Boys: Put A Pee Stain Down Low On Your Jeans And People Will Think Your Penis Is Longer

Here's A Tip For Boys: Put A Pee Stain Down Low On Your Jeans And People Will Think Your Penis Is Longer

Protttt Report

Stacie Wyatt
Community Member
3 years ago

still why you peeing in your pants.

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#45

When Painting The Outside Of Your House, Use A Fine Detail Brush. Larger Brushes Are Often Lower Quality And Use Far More Paint

When Painting The Outside Of Your House, Use A Fine Detail Brush. Larger Brushes Are Often Lower Quality And Use Far More Paint

RecycleYourCats Report

David Ross
Community Member
3 years ago

And you will be done in 5000 years!

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#46

Get A Whole Extra Glass Of Juice By Slightly Tilting The Carton

Get A Whole Extra Glass Of Juice By Slightly Tilting The Carton

theangrypancake Report

Mhiller17
Community Member
3 years ago

That’s such a cool orange juice carton🤪

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#47

Having Trouble Opening A Soda Bottle? Hold It Upside-Down Whilst You Open It. This Will Force All The Gases Away From The Neck Of The Bottle And Make It Much Easier To Open

Having Trouble Opening A Soda Bottle? Hold It Upside-Down Whilst You Open It. This Will Force All The Gases Away From The Neck Of The Bottle And Make It Much Easier To Open

lifehackeble Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

OMG :D:D:D:D

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#48

Use Frozen Vegetables When You Run Out Of Ice

Use Frozen Vegetables When You Run Out Of Ice

deviousdishsoap Report

BREAK YOUr perceptions
Community Member
3 years ago

you can actually do this with frozen grapes for wine.

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#49

Throw It In A Microwave And You Won't Even Be Able To Tell The Difference

Throw It In A Microwave And You Won't Even Be Able To Tell The Difference

190IQ_REDDIT_SAGE Report

Wanda Queen
Community Member
3 years ago

Except post it notes are more expensive than some cheeses. LOL

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#50

Make Your Car Almost Twice As Fast By Changing It From Mph To Kmh

Make Your Car Almost Twice As Fast By Changing It From Mph To Kmh

Bioslayer2k Report

Nela Rothenbach
Community Member
3 years ago

Too bad....I can only slow down

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#51

To Make Sure Your Phone Is Nice And Clean, Microwave It For 30 Seconds In The Morning To Get Rid Of All The Bad Bacteria That Might Have Got On It During The Night

To Make Sure Your Phone Is Nice And Clean, Microwave It For 30 Seconds In The Morning To Get Rid Of All The Bad Bacteria That Might Have Got On It During The Night

ultowich Report

Boring Panda
Community Member
3 years ago

Hint: Look at the title of the list

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#52

Here's A Simple & Easy Way To Lose Weight Fast. You Can Lose A Ton Of Weight Just By Weighing Yourself While Sitting On The Toilet

Here's A Simple & Easy Way To Lose Weight Fast. You Can Lose A Ton Of Weight Just By Weighing Yourself While Sitting On The Toilet

chuckhistory Report

Neeraj Jha
Community Member
3 years ago

Or use two different scales and put one foot on each.

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#53

Use This When You Want Your Pc To Be Even Faster

Use This When You Want Your Pc To Be Even Faster

TheRadmite Report

Mikleo
Community Member
3 years ago

Don't forget to put flame stickers on the side to make it even faster.

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#54

Never Lose Your Keys Again

Never Lose Your Keys Again

Fckuu Report

Lara B.
Community Member
3 years ago

This one makes me cringe >.<

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#55

Fire Extinguishers Can Be Damaged So To Keep It Safe Have It In A High Place That's Out Of Reach So It Will Be Ready When You Need It

Fire Extinguishers Can Be Damaged So To Keep It Safe Have It In A High Place That's Out Of Reach So It Will Be Ready When You Need It

gcbkkm2007 Report

Suzanne Marriott
Community Member
3 years ago

This one is real! By law, the laundromat has to have a fire extinguisher on the premise. They probably had problems with theft and vandalism.

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#56

Never Slip In The Winter Anymore By Piercing Screwdrivers Through Your Wheels

Never Slip In The Winter Anymore By Piercing Screwdrivers Through Your Wheels

HahaUrGay Report

Kiahna
Community Member
3 years ago

This is an expensive post. Wheels aren't cheap! Neither are screwdrivers!

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#57

Inform An Officer You Are Carrying A Handgun Like This

Inform An Officer You Are Carrying A Handgun Like This

Luke Soderling Report

Hamdhaan Hassan
Community Member
3 years ago

yeah and you also have shoot to show its loaded

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#58

How To Make Your Own Quesadilla Wallet In 3 Super Easy Steps

How To Make Your Own Quesadilla Wallet In 3 Super Easy Steps

notquitestrongbad Report

Sherrie Glendening
Community Member
3 years ago

And when someone tries to rob you, just give him the quesadilla without the cash and cards. He won't even notice.

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#59

Replace Your Treadmill Belt With Sandpaper For Better Traction While Running

Replace Your Treadmill Belt With Sandpaper For Better Traction While Running

DuctTapeNinja99 Report

Kiahna
Community Member
3 years ago

This gives me nightmares, I once slipped my hand when using one of these in school. My nail only took a few weeks to grow back.

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#60

Coffee Got Cold? Heat It Up Quick On The Stove

Coffee Got Cold? Heat It Up Quick On The Stove

Tiraffe Report

Tarah G
Community Member
3 years ago

It's the Canadian way

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#61

The Iphone 7 Does Has A Headphone Jack! It's Just Hidden Behind The Casing. All You Have To Do To Access It Is To Drill A Small Hole 14mm From The Left Edge. The Drill Shouldn't Be Larger Than 4mm

The Iphone 7 Does Has A Headphone Jack! It's Just Hidden Behind The Casing. All You Have To Do To Access It Is To Drill A Small Hole 14mm From The Left Edge. The Drill Shouldn't Be Larger Than 4mm

Jdabby32 Report

Kjorn
Community Member
3 years ago

it's really incredible that people really does it

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#62

If You Need To Rob A Bank And Don't Have A Stocking, Use An Extra Large Condom Instead

If You Need To Rob A Bank And Don't Have A Stocking, Use An Extra Large Condom Instead

rodent999 Report

Kiahna
Community Member
3 years ago

This picture is hurting my eyes!

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#63

Turn One Cigarette Upside Down And Smoke It Last. This "Lucky Cigarette" Will Prevent You From Getting Cancer

Turn One Cigarette Upside Down And Smoke It Last. This "Lucky Cigarette" Will Prevent You From Getting Cancer

Baddudes Report

Judy Semmens
Community Member
3 years ago

Back in the 1980s I knew someone who did this. I think his reasoning was that if you had dirty fingers you could take that one without getting the dirt on the filter, and you could pinch off the end to remove the dirt.

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#64

Don't Put Gas In Your Car, The Extra Weight Reduces Fuel Efficiency

Don't Put Gas In Your Car, The Extra Weight Reduces Fuel Efficiency