ADVERTISEMENT

Horoscopes usually regale us with glowing tales of future love, wealth, and prosperity. One artist, however, has a different interpretation of what the celestial bodies are trying to tell us, and it's a little less frilly.

Shitty Horoscopes is the brainchild of Toronto-based Amrit Brar, also known as 'Musterni.' Unfolding on Tumblr since 2015 and culminating in the recent release of a Kickstarter-funded 13-chapter book, the project turns the shortcomings and darker sides of each star sign into brief but poignant poems, accompanied by delightfully cool drawings of decorated skeletal remains. Brutally honest, yet instantly relatable, Brar's messages to horoscope signs read like a wine-induced 3 AM conversation with your best friend, which is probably why her Tumblr fans just keep demanding more and more of her creative ideas.

Scroll down, find your astrology sign, and have a laugh at the intricacies of our psyche that may or may not be influenced by the planets moving around us.

More info: Official Wesbite, Tumblr, Instagram

#5

Aries

Aries

Amrit Brar Report

#6

Libra

Libra

Amrit Brar Report

Add photo comments
POST
vasmacska avatar
Erzsébet Bükkös
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm a Libra. And this is true, but people usually don't care about that I loving them, like it wasn't the most precious thing they could get from me

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#7

Cancer

Cancer

Amrit Brar Report

Add photo comments
POST
mastermarkus avatar
Master Markus
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I thought that Cancer was shy nice people? That's what it always was when I was a kid, and how I first suspected that horoscopes were b******t since I didn't fit it.

diresilverwolf avatar
BREAK YOUr perceptions
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

while its true most cancers are shy, shy doesnt equal nice. the best way to describe a cancer is emotional. and emotional people can be aggressive too (im a cancer leo cusp, and boy do i got some problems)

Load More Replies...
rwian_garl32 avatar
Rawen Madini
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God damn .... straight to the point, I can't argue with that though

babs-hock11 avatar
Babs
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I took this to mean that Cancers are upset that others are insensitive a******s. They care for people deeply and wish others could return the same kindness.

kimberleypayne avatar
Kat Payne
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yep, I'm an a*****e for sure and I try to work on it but... it wont go away.

megben avatar
Helen Coyle
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not in the least bit true must have been written by a scorpio, they are the true a*s holes

dreamweaver814 avatar
Tammy Chapman
Community Member
5 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My Meme was a Scorpio. She was one of strongest women I have ever known. She could do everything a man could do, and she usually did it even better. Before she retired she was a cross-country truck driver. I lived with her for many years. And we raised 2 of my cousins together. I was 13 when that began. She worked hard, and I had to figure out how to be a Mom to kids that weren't even mine when I was just 13. But, she was always about family. And the only time I saw her being an a*****e was when she was taking up for the family. Oh, and when one of our neighbors in Houston called her something she wasn't. She was a good woman, but she wasn't an a*****e. Thank God!!!!

Load More Replies...
faintkirsten avatar
Kirsten Faint
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm more upset that they represented cancer with the spider crab which is the ugliest crab in the f**king sea. How's that for assholery?

wyltk69 avatar
Nicole Hagberg
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I already knew that. Why would anyone want a cure for being an a*****e anyways, it's so much better than fake, b****y, selfish, and conceited.

ramsesbrooks avatar
Ramses Brooks
Community Member
3 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

there’s different types to each sign some are shy and cry, some never cry and are sassy af

staceyknaak12 avatar
SMarriott
Community Member
5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

endelbendel avatar
endelbendel
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They grasp and hold on tight . . . but maybe not to another.

alessiafacchin avatar
Pandola
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

this is very precise...unfortunately...stay away from Cancer, they ruin everything and their own life too...sad story

sanjav avatar
Branislava Simić
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cancer people also would keep a person in a relationship even if they see that the person is suffering... But no, as long as Cancer is happy, he basically doesnt give a s**t if other people around him are miserable... :(

sanjav avatar
Branislava Simić
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is true... Cancer people were the biggest a******s to me out of all Zodiac and it is really hard for me to be friends with them, not to mention having a relationship (I am a Taurus BTW). They can play nice and all that but cross them and they will back stab you as soon as they get the chance... And no, they wont give a s**t that you also might have emotions. Basically these gusy only look after their own asses. :D

e_teokotai avatar
Eric Teokotai
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Push a cancer too far and yes they can become an a*****e and wont give a s**t about anythig or anyone

Load More Replies...
View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
#9

Pisces

Pisces

Amrit Brar Report

Add photo comments
POST
alessiafacchin avatar
Pandola
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

they hide what they don't like...as stage actors, there's the "behind the scene"...you never get to know them

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda
#12

Capricorn

Capricorn

Amrit Brar Report

Add photo comments
POST
justathought avatar
just a thought !
Community Member
6 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I usually don't have a big ego ... But some times , when things get out of hand , I just shy away from people , which they might consider as me being egotistic.... So maybe that's how I understand this ...

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu