This Mother-Of-Four Had Enough With Men Not Helping Around The House, And Her Rant Has Now Gone Viral
Raising a family is tough, it takes a lot of hard work and commitment from both partners and communication and the spirit of teamwork is vital. So you can quite easily imagine the resentment that quickly sets in when one partner begins to take their foot off the gas! The other has to pick up the burden, and that doesn’t bode well for the relationship. Or, as Australian blogger and mum of 4 Constance Hall puts it in a Facebook post that has gone viral, “All you’re left with is silent resentment. And that my friends is relationship cancer…”
Cue an outpouring of comments from, almost exclusively, women who are frustrated with their men and their lack of consideration. While societal attitudes towards women are changing, with the fight against things like sexual harassment and unequal pay bringing some positive results, it seems that domestically there is still some work to do. Obviously that’s not to say that all men are slacking off, there are also many women who are happy and grateful that their man has been raised with a sense of responsibility!
Scroll down below to see Constance’s post, and let us know what you think in the comments. Do you agree with her? If you have a partner, do you make a good team? We look forward to hearing your opinion!
Blogger and mum of 4 Constance Hall had enough with the daily chores that she’s left alone with every day…
So she took it to Facebook to explain just how frustrating it gets
“These nutcases are my world”
Most commenters were women who could definitely relate to Constance’s rant
Some tried to find an explanation for the problem
While others were happy with their relationships
stop making this about men vs women, this is about individual jerks. I am a man and I cook most of the meals in my house, I do the dishes at least half the week, I do the laundry and any of the other house chores that need to be done. My wife does them too, we don't wait for the other to do them, when we see they need to be done we just do them. I know plenty of guys like me, we don't think we are special, or the exceptions, we are just people being adults and doing what we all need to do to have a happy home. So please for the love of god stop acting like this a gender issue, it is just an issue with some people that are lazy and inconsiderate, some of those people happen to be men, some of them happen to be women, it doesn't make stop indicting an entire gender because of the worst people who happen to have that gender
Nobody said the entire male gender is guilty of this. However, as a woman who has lived with a few men... this person isn't wrong that many men are this way. I can't tell you how irritating it can be to remind a grown adult of their household responsibilities. Constantly going behind someone to pick up their mess, close a cupboard, remind them that yes, the house needs vacuuming. Women are still considered "homemakers" in many households, even when both people work full time, and still take on the brunt of the housework in many households. There are statistics and studies out there for you to check out. Look at all the women commenting on having to deal with the very same thing. Don't discount their experiences because you don't want anyone to say anything bad about men. We all know all men aren't this way.
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You can blame your Mother in Law for raising such lazy slobs. My Mother in Law raise my husband to run the sweeper, clean bathrooms and do dishes, she also taught him how to cook. I wish every woman had the husband I have. Ladies raise your sons to do better than your husbands.
You can blame whoever you want, or you can address the problem. None of this helps anything.
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All parents should teach all of their kids the knowledge and skills they have learned, be it housework, paying bills and managing a budget, cleaning, car maintenance, yard work, woodworking, sewing, etc. Everyone can use all of these skills.
This mother of four had an affair causing her marriage to end and now has baby #5 on way with the lover. She shouldn't be celebrated as a family expert
FINALLY! I was genuinely starting to think no one cared about the fact that she's just not a reliable source of information on this topic.
Load More Replies... Based off of what i read, it seems she is a stay at home mom. If that's the case then it is her job to tale care of the house while her husband pays for it through his job. However, if they both work he needs to step up his game. It seems she needs to have a conversation with her husband about the issue instead of asking him to do things here and there.
Candice is just trying to sell her bodice- ripper novels
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All I can say is this is why I really believe that all couples should get pre-marital counseling before they even start looking for a florist or a caterer. So many people have set ideas of what they think marriage is and what they think a husband and wife should do. These beliefs are so ingrained that they don't even bother to talk about them until after the wedding and then it's a problem. You can't just assume your significant other feels the same way about housework and childcare. You have to discuss it. You have to look at your family background and the other person's and see what generational patterns have been set that neither of you may be consciously aware of. I also believe in spacing out children by three to four years, if possible. If the spouse isn't helping out when the kid hits the terrible two's, don't add to the issue by having several more kids.
i would rather be a single parent. because then i would be raising my son MY way. I would be cleaning up after 1 less person, answering 1 less set of bitching demands for literally the most basic of s**t - a glass of water, cheese on toast. just so much less stress in general. i can accept that my son is my priority, and if i don't get the dishes done today, or i eat dinner at 10pm, or i wear the same tshirt for another day, either i accept it as a temporary sacrifice or i feel a bit frustrated with myself. i wouldn't scream at myself at how i am a terrible mother, and a piece of scum running a concentration camp. i would also be able to get help, as i have no issue with having guests in the house; i could ask my wonderful neighbour to visit for even half an hour just to watch my boy so i can go have a shower. better to be single than live with an anchor
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My ex begged me to be a stay at home mom, so I worked three jobs to make that happen. I feel as though my ex would agree emphatically with the original post - she was always telling me to more around the house - more cleaning, more dishes, more cooking. For us, it was all for show. She didn't help me with my 60-80 hours of work, but if I had a moment that I wasn't working (god forbid!), she expected me to do her work. And she never asked me to do things like take the kids for a while so she could get stuff done ... I did that all the time without her asking. All she wanted was to have play dates and she shunned all the c**p work that needed doing. Could you imagine how quickly we'd get fired if we tried to take that approach on the job? It's really hard to make sense of the original post without knowing more about the context.
WTF! If I'm ever watching a baby or even if the dog's in the way, I ask someone to remove the nuisance so I can continue with my chores in peace. Now, if someone offers to clean the bathroom while I take my cousins to the park......
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So, this sort of thing happened to me when i moved in with my then boyfriend, now husband and i think its because he was used to his mum doing all of the chores. So I decided seen as i put in the same hours as him at work I thought Id match him on the amount of hours he puts into housework (at that time prob 10 minutes a week). I told him I was going to do it. 2 years later and we were pretty much putting in the same amount of hours at work and home and i have to say, our relationship BLOOMED aaaaaand my husband agreed to go halves on paying for a cleaner! IF YOU WANNA DO THE MISSUS, DO THE DISHES
I don't like the saying at the end of Sarah's comment because it is too often interpreted as the husband should have to earn sex by doing something (buying a gift for her, doing extra chores, ect). In truth, you should have sex with your husband because you love him and he should do chores because it is an equal partnership. Those are two separate issues that should be handled separately instead of trying to manipulate him with sex.
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I hate whens someone says to me "you could've asked" or "you could've told me to do it". the problem with this is that the weight of REMEMBERING all that stuff is on me. and you shouldn't be forced to tell someone "vacuum the damn floor" when it looks like Hansel and Gretel marched through it leaving bread crumb path. people should do something when it needs to be done, not wait for others to point them to what they should do. and it goes both for men and women.
Women do work when it needs to be done. Men do work when he gets in the mood, or gets around to it.
Load More Replies... I grew up in a house with 4 girls and 1 boy. We girls had assigned chores. My brother had ONE JOB, taking out the garbage. But he wouldn't even do that. Many fights over it. When I married, my husband had grown up in a family where the men did nothing in the home, because it was "women's work". Even if the men were not working out of the home. The women were a bunch of doormats, and waited hand and foot on these men. My husband and I had 2 boys. They were not expected to do anything to help me. I have often heard men say "I help my wife" or "I pitch in". I have never heard a man say "I do my share". I never expect to here a man say "I do ALL the work while my wife sits on her a*s"
BusLady, you are only refering to your family and your husband's family, which isn't necessarily like most families. Also, you had a larger hand in raising your sons than your husband did so if they didn't help out is that because you didn't teach them to?
Load More Replies... Why does it seem like stay at home mom complain more than working moms about chores? I am sorry but isn't the house your responsibility when you stay at home all day. I work full time and still came home to do the housework. They need to stop complaining and put on their big girl panties for once.
Right?! They act they don't have the time, I wonder how they think the rest of our houses get clean
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HEY MR. KILL CAT'S, FIRST OFF YOU ARE AN EXYREMELY SICK INDIVIDUAL FOR PUTTING A PICTURE OF A DEAF CAT WITH IT''S INTESTINES HANGINGING OUT AND WHAT LOOJS LIKE IT'S EYES GOUGED OUT, ON SOCIAL MEDIA, DID YOU DO THIS?! YOU ARE ONE SICK AND DISGUSTING INDIVIDUAL! ALSO YOU HAVE A REALLY HUGE ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU NEED HELP!
My husband does a good job of contributing to housework. Sometimes he sits around and plays videogames and that can be annoying, but all in all, he does good. He'll make dinner if I'm home from work late. He'll also throw in a load of his laundry on his own. He does the dishes when I ask, and also sometimes I don't even have to ask. We both take turns feeding the cats. If I finally sit down on the couch after a long day and realize I forgot to do something, I'll start to stand up and he says "just relax, I'll do it." I'm blessed that he has a knack for things. There are a few jobs that are mine only. Such as cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, and scooping the cat litter. I started out doing those things, and they just kinda stuck. We don't have kids yet, but I know that when we do, it'll be a good team effort.
Just curious, Does the guy go to work and provide for the family? Does she not work and stay home? Do they bath have 40 hour a week jobs? All of these factors are important. If they both work equal hours, then putting in equal time to the kids and house is fair. If she is a stay at home mom, it is her job to clean up. Just like it is his job to go to work and pay the bills and give her and the family what they need and want. This concept of fairness isn't that difficult to grasp. It all depends on the situation. Do people really not see that? If she was to work 40 hours or more and support the entire family, it would be fair of him to take care of the house duties and kid stuff. Yes there are other variable that may change this (special needs kids, disabled parent that needs extra help etc etc...) but if you are a stay at home parent, your job is to take care of the home, while their job is to go to work and take care of the financial part of life. Seriously do people not see this
To Sniegena 8: your name doesn' t seem to indicate your gender. I assume you are male. No woman in her right name would make the statements you made. Unless she' s brainwashed or lives in some thirld- world country. Are you a time traveler from some backward century? Women have more rights today because they worked for them. I'm 60 Yrs old, so I have seen many improvements in my lifetime. If you have a wife, I pray for her sanity and safety. Are you one of those guys who has 5 ex- wives and can't figure out why?
I'm so grateful my husband and son help with chores. We all run the ship. Its not about gender or who worked less or more this week or how long basketball practice ran over or who cooked yesterday etc. Social media really can be a great reminder of what I have.
I love the double standard here... Imagine if the headline were, "Man posts what it's like living with lazy women"
Yes let's pretend this isn't happening to women anywhere in order to not hurt YOUR feelings. Some men are so f*****g whiny and sensitive. If this doesn't apply to you, don't get offended. People have been stereotyping women since the beginning of time. And literally nobody said this applies to all men.
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ok, me and my partner do what needs doing when it need doing. I don't need to ask him or tell him and the same goes the other way. If you have to be making demands maybe you don't have a equal relationship?
I don’t know many details about this particular scenario, but if the husband/wife is working while their spouse is being a stay at home dad/mom, I feel like since they don’t have an official job (not that being a stay at home parent isn’t a job, because it is) they should do the cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children.
except working full time means you work 8 hours, come back home and are done with it, while being a full time mom/dam means you work all the time. how is that fair? if your spouse is not working in a coal mine, he/she should do the chores as well.
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Ahhh.....you are one of those. A misandrist. Gross.
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I think it has more to do with how people were raised than gender. My parents have always been fairly evenly split on chores, and we always had to help. My brothers do this with their wives now. My BIL was coddled as heck growing up and it's like pulling teeth to get him to help around the house. Though, really, if it's routine stuff you want help with then make a chore chart or something similar- you write it down once. In our family, except for things like the dishes or cooking, Sunday morning was set aside for chores and we all got it done together. It's a habit I still have.
Married to a man who had been single and on his own for 10 years so figured he knew his way around housework etc. Started off being helpful but now thinks loading the dishwasher with the plates after dinner is a mammoth task. Also tells me he made the bed for me.....me? We sleep in the same bed and he gets up long after me and he made the bed for ME? Recently went on a family visit for a month, he stayed home so that meant he had to handle the household (no kids). No problems he said. I get home, thinking maybe now he will get an idea of what I do and offer some help? Nah....came to a complete halt in that department because "I'd probably not do it like you want anyway" Considering I've never criticized how he does things (because he never does them) I finally came to the conclusion that I married a 12-year-old in a middle-aged man's body. The next generation after us seem to have it much more together, sharing the cooking, cleaning and child-rearing. Our men just look on.
AND - why is parenting your child considered "babysitting"? Unless you're getting paid to care for a kid that's not in your family group, you are ACTING LIKE A PARENT not babysitting.
The s**t could put in their face and they still have no clue what you put it there for. I have no kids at home I cook clean move furniture by myself,I painted all the rm,s in the House by myself and he has the ball 🏀 to tell me I got some on the ceiling,I said F—-k off and go complain about ur back some more ,well my F—-king back hurts to,so I never ask him to help do anything again I put earplugs in all the time. Hahaha
You knew exactly what You were getting herself into so don't disrespect,blame or point fingers at others for your choice or choices.... Before jumping into a relationship, marriage their should be a discussion about raising a child, having children , the understanding of being a parent , teamwork and so on ... All before making a life time commitment .... When it comes to the children they should be thought from the beginning at an early age on the basics ... Raising a family can be tough at times consists of hard work, commitment, teamwork and devotion, we're all responsible for how we react,respond and approach any given situation...
My husband is very lazy around the house. I blame his parents; they never made ANY of them do housework. In our house we did what needed to be done without being told.
My favorite is when my husband actually gets off his a*s and contributes I am supposed to pat him on the back and tell him good job. I should have nailed him the other day when he said he was trying to make things easier. He didn't actually say on me though. We both work basically full time.
It's like all these women just magically discovered that the household management of the past was exactly that: management. As in the active oversight of tasks, roles, and assignments so everything gets done and the house runs smoothly, while balancing seasonal considerations, budgets, and coordinating multiple people and suppliers. It is a complete and complicated job, and one which was highly respected. The "just do it when you see it!!" attitude really won't work as a substitute. It's almost more complicated than way, since now you have two people haphazardly doing piecemeal parts and hoping everything gets covered, rather than one, central organizer. Or you'll need a high level of coordination between two people; also a lot of work. It's fine if you don't want to be household manager, but there must be a system to take it's place. Stopping all management to assume a system for managing the house will simply appear to run on it's own is a recipe for disaster.
Maybe you should stop trying to make people be like you and understand that people are raised differently and have different priorities. If you want help, ask, be specific, and get that behavior modifications happen over time, he isn't going to just start doing things to be considerate because that is not what he is used to doing just like you are not going to quite bitching and getting upset when he doesn't, all you are saying is you change change but not looking at how you enabled this behavior and now you are bitching about it and expecting him to read your mind and change his behavior........well, heed your own advice. Don't expect his behavior to change if yours isnt going to.
I raised my 4 sons as a single parent from the time they were all toddlers. ( middle children were twins) I started teaching them all young how to do their laundry, clean, and cooking lessons started when they turned 10. I was all they had, and I didn't want them unprepared and unable to survive if something happened to me, etc. They all were taught about menstrual products, and sex ed beginning at age 10 also. My sons have and will willingly go purchase menstrual products for me if I need them to. We also had WWF nights when they were growing up, and I played 🏈 with them also. As parents, it's our responsibility to prepare our children and make sure that they have basic survival skills.
My husband is a top scientist who tells me that the women in the lab do all the work... the men take the credit... BUT when he comes home.. guess who does everything around the house and picks everything off the floor... NOT him.. he knows men are lazy.. he is one and admits he does not care the same. so i just think we have to accept they are lazy. the sit on their OFF button when they come home and that is it. No amount or reminders help.. none.. i have tried to "remind" him of the trash, the dishes , his shower needing cleaned, ( we have our own bathrooms) the micro needing cleaned.. ( i cant reach the back of it ).. He just does it when he feels he HAS to do it and tells me all about the drudgery of it and how he hurt his hand... or how bad it got... on and on and on about the suffering of the way he was sick of the stuff i cooked in it.... SO...I do it all . Chronic.
You did it wrong. Tly don't assign individual tasks. Maybe occasionally, you do that when you need more help with one of your tasks. The reason nothing butsince I've you stopped asking was because you constantly set a precedentthat is easy to take for granted. When you do everything there's no reason curr anybody in the house to exis expect anything different. Also, there's something to be said about that you're the one who cares admitt getting these things done. If you want them done it's your responsibility to see it through. Men don't care about doing house chores every day. But we are willing to help and pitch in. But don't assign tasks like you're a supervisor and we your employee. Sit down and converse and reach a mutual split of responsibilities that need to be done and on which days. That way you're working together and on equal ground. Having said that if you have a man who simply refuses to help and has the audacity to complain about the state of the house, lose him.
I truly am blessed! My man probably does more housework than I do, due to problems I have with my back! I do the full 'spring cleaning' because, and this is not a slight towards him in anyway at all, I know he just doesn't understand what is involved in the 'deep clean'! But I only do that once a year, and I suffer for a fortnight or so in pain because of it, but I know that's it done for another year! Throughout the year my partner does most of the hoovering (he even bought himself a new Dyson for it lol), we both do laundry and dishes, when I'm feeling up to standing long enough to do them! But I would say he definitely does the majority of it! And this was a man who had his mother do everything for him when he lived at home, then when he got married his wife did, then his long term partner after that! He was out working then, that was his job! Now we're both not working and due to my health issues he's had to step up basically and has done so tremendously! I'm so lucky to have him!!
Who thought "maybe I should post this on Bored Panda" I mean seriously what even is this website anymore?
In a relationship it takes two to work it. Just like family rearing or cleaning the house. It should be equal partnership. The woman should be teaching the children to be considerate of each other, the house and the people around them. How not doing one thing causes another issue. They all should be helping each other out.
Men are in leadership positions in the workplace because they earn it, same as women. My partner and I take turns to cook and clean and deal with the kids at bedtime etc, he works the usual 9 to 5 and I work weekends. Ladies is been proven that men compartmentalise better than women, they can focus better on one thing which is why they evolved as the stronger sex physically to hunt and women can take more psychologically to raise children. It's not sexist, it's biology. As a society now is expected that men and women change to adapt but just remember, they're going against a lot of their primal instincts just to exist in this world now, things programed into them by evolution. I'm not saying don't ask, I'm just saying remember where we came from, stay humble and cut each other some slack. Getting really tired of this men VS. Women thing. We're all human.
I don't understand why so many women think that a lack of communication is going to work. If you say "everyone should just do any chore they see" of course that isn't going to work because people will have different estimate of when certain chores need to be done. The work will actually increase because it makes it more likely that people will do chores twice, like two people buying groceries on the same day and not having room in the fridge. You have to communicate with your husband instead of just expecting the chores to get done without deciding who does what. Break up the chores instead of having this disorganized system of "do any chore you see". No business works like that and no family can either.
HEY BS, GOOD INITIALS BECAUSE YOUR FULL OF IT! WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE THEY ARE BECAUZE I KNOW IT DEFINITELY ISN'T STUPIDITY ON MY PART!
HEY BEN LIKE WHAT WOULD THAT BE DO YOU SUPPOSE?! ANOTHER SIING OF MINE DIDN'T HAVE CHILDREN EITHER BECAUSE HE TOO DOD NOT WANT CHILDREN! IT'S A PERSONAL CHOICE OF WHICH ONE IS ALOWED!
OOPS ANOTHER ERROR! I WANT TO BE SURE THE LAST TWO WORDS WERE CLEAR "BITE ME!"
My fiancee knew the toilet water supply was leaking for weeks before i discovered it and fixed it, too late to stop the water damage though. Where does that fit in to the equal responsibilities argument? she also doesn't fix cupboard doors, change light bulbs, cut the grass, wash the car (though she is very good at dirtying it) you get the idea. But you know what, we accept we have different tolerance levels before things get done (dishes are a once a day thing for me/she's already washing up as i put my cutlery down) and there are things each of us like done certain ways that just isn't worth the other interfering with. We communicate properly and get on with enjoying our life rather than worrying about missing the bins for a week.
Stay at home mom bitching about her job description. Hell, your grandmother did it without automatic washing machines and electric ever-kind-of-gadget.
That's the type of attitude I really hate. Back then it sucked, and still worked, so shut up and don't even try to point out how it would be better. I guess she should be happy she was not grabbed by the hair and hauled into his cave to get raped and impregnated, because 1000+ years ago that was the custom?!
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All female doctors, firefighter, teachers, police officers sending their greetings to you and ask which cave you just crawled out from?
Load More Replies... Some of us are extremely happily married and don't worry about any of this. :)
Load More Replies... stop making this about men vs women, this is about individual jerks. I am a man and I cook most of the meals in my house, I do the dishes at least half the week, I do the laundry and any of the other house chores that need to be done. My wife does them too, we don't wait for the other to do them, when we see they need to be done we just do them. I know plenty of guys like me, we don't think we are special, or the exceptions, we are just people being adults and doing what we all need to do to have a happy home. So please for the love of god stop acting like this a gender issue, it is just an issue with some people that are lazy and inconsiderate, some of those people happen to be men, some of them happen to be women, it doesn't make stop indicting an entire gender because of the worst people who happen to have that gender
Nobody said the entire male gender is guilty of this. However, as a woman who has lived with a few men... this person isn't wrong that many men are this way. I can't tell you how irritating it can be to remind a grown adult of their household responsibilities. Constantly going behind someone to pick up their mess, close a cupboard, remind them that yes, the house needs vacuuming. Women are still considered "homemakers" in many households, even when both people work full time, and still take on the brunt of the housework in many households. There are statistics and studies out there for you to check out. Look at all the women commenting on having to deal with the very same thing. Don't discount their experiences because you don't want anyone to say anything bad about men. We all know all men aren't this way.
Load More Replies... You can blame your Mother in Law for raising such lazy slobs. My Mother in Law raise my husband to run the sweeper, clean bathrooms and do dishes, she also taught him how to cook. I wish every woman had the husband I have. Ladies raise your sons to do better than your husbands.
You can blame whoever you want, or you can address the problem. None of this helps anything.
Load More Replies... All parents should teach all of their kids the knowledge and skills they have learned, be it housework, paying bills and managing a budget, cleaning, car maintenance, yard work, woodworking, sewing, etc. Everyone can use all of these skills.
This mother of four had an affair causing her marriage to end and now has baby #5 on way with the lover. She shouldn't be celebrated as a family expert
FINALLY! I was genuinely starting to think no one cared about the fact that she's just not a reliable source of information on this topic.
Load More Replies... Based off of what i read, it seems she is a stay at home mom. If that's the case then it is her job to tale care of the house while her husband pays for it through his job. However, if they both work he needs to step up his game. It seems she needs to have a conversation with her husband about the issue instead of asking him to do things here and there.
Candice is just trying to sell her bodice- ripper novels
Load More Replies... All I can say is this is why I really believe that all couples should get pre-marital counseling before they even start looking for a florist or a caterer. So many people have set ideas of what they think marriage is and what they think a husband and wife should do. These beliefs are so ingrained that they don't even bother to talk about them until after the wedding and then it's a problem. You can't just assume your significant other feels the same way about housework and childcare. You have to discuss it. You have to look at your family background and the other person's and see what generational patterns have been set that neither of you may be consciously aware of. I also believe in spacing out children by three to four years, if possible. If the spouse isn't helping out when the kid hits the terrible two's, don't add to the issue by having several more kids.
i would rather be a single parent. because then i would be raising my son MY way. I would be cleaning up after 1 less person, answering 1 less set of bitching demands for literally the most basic of s**t - a glass of water, cheese on toast. just so much less stress in general. i can accept that my son is my priority, and if i don't get the dishes done today, or i eat dinner at 10pm, or i wear the same tshirt for another day, either i accept it as a temporary sacrifice or i feel a bit frustrated with myself. i wouldn't scream at myself at how i am a terrible mother, and a piece of scum running a concentration camp. i would also be able to get help, as i have no issue with having guests in the house; i could ask my wonderful neighbour to visit for even half an hour just to watch my boy so i can go have a shower. better to be single than live with an anchor
Load More Replies... My ex begged me to be a stay at home mom, so I worked three jobs to make that happen. I feel as though my ex would agree emphatically with the original post - she was always telling me to more around the house - more cleaning, more dishes, more cooking. For us, it was all for show. She didn't help me with my 60-80 hours of work, but if I had a moment that I wasn't working (god forbid!), she expected me to do her work. And she never asked me to do things like take the kids for a while so she could get stuff done ... I did that all the time without her asking. All she wanted was to have play dates and she shunned all the c**p work that needed doing. Could you imagine how quickly we'd get fired if we tried to take that approach on the job? It's really hard to make sense of the original post without knowing more about the context.
WTF! If I'm ever watching a baby or even if the dog's in the way, I ask someone to remove the nuisance so I can continue with my chores in peace. Now, if someone offers to clean the bathroom while I take my cousins to the park......
Load More Replies... So, this sort of thing happened to me when i moved in with my then boyfriend, now husband and i think its because he was used to his mum doing all of the chores. So I decided seen as i put in the same hours as him at work I thought Id match him on the amount of hours he puts into housework (at that time prob 10 minutes a week). I told him I was going to do it. 2 years later and we were pretty much putting in the same amount of hours at work and home and i have to say, our relationship BLOOMED aaaaaand my husband agreed to go halves on paying for a cleaner! IF YOU WANNA DO THE MISSUS, DO THE DISHES
I don't like the saying at the end of Sarah's comment because it is too often interpreted as the husband should have to earn sex by doing something (buying a gift for her, doing extra chores, ect). In truth, you should have sex with your husband because you love him and he should do chores because it is an equal partnership. Those are two separate issues that should be handled separately instead of trying to manipulate him with sex.
Load More Replies... I hate whens someone says to me "you could've asked" or "you could've told me to do it". the problem with this is that the weight of REMEMBERING all that stuff is on me. and you shouldn't be forced to tell someone "vacuum the damn floor" when it looks like Hansel and Gretel marched through it leaving bread crumb path. people should do something when it needs to be done, not wait for others to point them to what they should do. and it goes both for men and women.
Women do work when it needs to be done. Men do work when he gets in the mood, or gets around to it.
Load More Replies... I grew up in a house with 4 girls and 1 boy. We girls had assigned chores. My brother had ONE JOB, taking out the garbage. But he wouldn't even do that. Many fights over it. When I married, my husband had grown up in a family where the men did nothing in the home, because it was "women's work". Even if the men were not working out of the home. The women were a bunch of doormats, and waited hand and foot on these men. My husband and I had 2 boys. They were not expected to do anything to help me. I have often heard men say "I help my wife" or "I pitch in". I have never heard a man say "I do my share". I never expect to here a man say "I do ALL the work while my wife sits on her a*s"
BusLady, you are only refering to your family and your husband's family, which isn't necessarily like most families. Also, you had a larger hand in raising your sons than your husband did so if they didn't help out is that because you didn't teach them to?
Load More Replies... Why does it seem like stay at home mom complain more than working moms about chores? I am sorry but isn't the house your responsibility when you stay at home all day. I work full time and still came home to do the housework. They need to stop complaining and put on their big girl panties for once.
Right?! They act they don't have the time, I wonder how they think the rest of our houses get clean
Load More Replies... HEY MR. KILL CAT'S, FIRST OFF YOU ARE AN EXYREMELY SICK INDIVIDUAL FOR PUTTING A PICTURE OF A DEAF CAT WITH IT''S INTESTINES HANGINGING OUT AND WHAT LOOJS LIKE IT'S EYES GOUGED OUT, ON SOCIAL MEDIA, DID YOU DO THIS?! YOU ARE ONE SICK AND DISGUSTING INDIVIDUAL! ALSO YOU HAVE A REALLY HUGE ATTITUDE PROBLEM, YOU NEED HELP!
My husband does a good job of contributing to housework. Sometimes he sits around and plays videogames and that can be annoying, but all in all, he does good. He'll make dinner if I'm home from work late. He'll also throw in a load of his laundry on his own. He does the dishes when I ask, and also sometimes I don't even have to ask. We both take turns feeding the cats. If I finally sit down on the couch after a long day and realize I forgot to do something, I'll start to stand up and he says "just relax, I'll do it." I'm blessed that he has a knack for things. There are a few jobs that are mine only. Such as cleaning the bathroom, vacuuming, and scooping the cat litter. I started out doing those things, and they just kinda stuck. We don't have kids yet, but I know that when we do, it'll be a good team effort.
Just curious, Does the guy go to work and provide for the family? Does she not work and stay home? Do they bath have 40 hour a week jobs? All of these factors are important. If they both work equal hours, then putting in equal time to the kids and house is fair. If she is a stay at home mom, it is her job to clean up. Just like it is his job to go to work and pay the bills and give her and the family what they need and want. This concept of fairness isn't that difficult to grasp. It all depends on the situation. Do people really not see that? If she was to work 40 hours or more and support the entire family, it would be fair of him to take care of the house duties and kid stuff. Yes there are other variable that may change this (special needs kids, disabled parent that needs extra help etc etc...) but if you are a stay at home parent, your job is to take care of the home, while their job is to go to work and take care of the financial part of life. Seriously do people not see this
To Sniegena 8: your name doesn' t seem to indicate your gender. I assume you are male. No woman in her right name would make the statements you made. Unless she' s brainwashed or lives in some thirld- world country. Are you a time traveler from some backward century? Women have more rights today because they worked for them. I'm 60 Yrs old, so I have seen many improvements in my lifetime. If you have a wife, I pray for her sanity and safety. Are you one of those guys who has 5 ex- wives and can't figure out why?
I'm so grateful my husband and son help with chores. We all run the ship. Its not about gender or who worked less or more this week or how long basketball practice ran over or who cooked yesterday etc. Social media really can be a great reminder of what I have.
I love the double standard here... Imagine if the headline were, "Man posts what it's like living with lazy women"
Yes let's pretend this isn't happening to women anywhere in order to not hurt YOUR feelings. Some men are so f*****g whiny and sensitive. If this doesn't apply to you, don't get offended. People have been stereotyping women since the beginning of time. And literally nobody said this applies to all men.
Load More Replies... ok, me and my partner do what needs doing when it need doing. I don't need to ask him or tell him and the same goes the other way. If you have to be making demands maybe you don't have a equal relationship?
I don’t know many details about this particular scenario, but if the husband/wife is working while their spouse is being a stay at home dad/mom, I feel like since they don’t have an official job (not that being a stay at home parent isn’t a job, because it is) they should do the cooking, cleaning, and caring for the children.
except working full time means you work 8 hours, come back home and are done with it, while being a full time mom/dam means you work all the time. how is that fair? if your spouse is not working in a coal mine, he/she should do the chores as well.
Load More Replies... Ahhh.....you are one of those. A misandrist. Gross.
Load More Replies... I think it has more to do with how people were raised than gender. My parents have always been fairly evenly split on chores, and we always had to help. My brothers do this with their wives now. My BIL was coddled as heck growing up and it's like pulling teeth to get him to help around the house. Though, really, if it's routine stuff you want help with then make a chore chart or something similar- you write it down once. In our family, except for things like the dishes or cooking, Sunday morning was set aside for chores and we all got it done together. It's a habit I still have.
Married to a man who had been single and on his own for 10 years so figured he knew his way around housework etc. Started off being helpful but now thinks loading the dishwasher with the plates after dinner is a mammoth task. Also tells me he made the bed for me.....me? We sleep in the same bed and he gets up long after me and he made the bed for ME? Recently went on a family visit for a month, he stayed home so that meant he had to handle the household (no kids). No problems he said. I get home, thinking maybe now he will get an idea of what I do and offer some help? Nah....came to a complete halt in that department because "I'd probably not do it like you want anyway" Considering I've never criticized how he does things (because he never does them) I finally came to the conclusion that I married a 12-year-old in a middle-aged man's body. The next generation after us seem to have it much more together, sharing the cooking, cleaning and child-rearing. Our men just look on.
AND - why is parenting your child considered "babysitting"? Unless you're getting paid to care for a kid that's not in your family group, you are ACTING LIKE A PARENT not babysitting.
The s**t could put in their face and they still have no clue what you put it there for. I have no kids at home I cook clean move furniture by myself,I painted all the rm,s in the House by myself and he has the ball 🏀 to tell me I got some on the ceiling,I said F—-k off and go complain about ur back some more ,well my F—-king back hurts to,so I never ask him to help do anything again I put earplugs in all the time. Hahaha
You knew exactly what You were getting herself into so don't disrespect,blame or point fingers at others for your choice or choices.... Before jumping into a relationship, marriage their should be a discussion about raising a child, having children , the understanding of being a parent , teamwork and so on ... All before making a life time commitment .... When it comes to the children they should be thought from the beginning at an early age on the basics ... Raising a family can be tough at times consists of hard work, commitment, teamwork and devotion, we're all responsible for how we react,respond and approach any given situation...
My husband is very lazy around the house. I blame his parents; they never made ANY of them do housework. In our house we did what needed to be done without being told.
My favorite is when my husband actually gets off his a*s and contributes I am supposed to pat him on the back and tell him good job. I should have nailed him the other day when he said he was trying to make things easier. He didn't actually say on me though. We both work basically full time.
It's like all these women just magically discovered that the household management of the past was exactly that: management. As in the active oversight of tasks, roles, and assignments so everything gets done and the house runs smoothly, while balancing seasonal considerations, budgets, and coordinating multiple people and suppliers. It is a complete and complicated job, and one which was highly respected. The "just do it when you see it!!" attitude really won't work as a substitute. It's almost more complicated than way, since now you have two people haphazardly doing piecemeal parts and hoping everything gets covered, rather than one, central organizer. Or you'll need a high level of coordination between two people; also a lot of work. It's fine if you don't want to be household manager, but there must be a system to take it's place. Stopping all management to assume a system for managing the house will simply appear to run on it's own is a recipe for disaster.
Maybe you should stop trying to make people be like you and understand that people are raised differently and have different priorities. If you want help, ask, be specific, and get that behavior modifications happen over time, he isn't going to just start doing things to be considerate because that is not what he is used to doing just like you are not going to quite bitching and getting upset when he doesn't, all you are saying is you change change but not looking at how you enabled this behavior and now you are bitching about it and expecting him to read your mind and change his behavior........well, heed your own advice. Don't expect his behavior to change if yours isnt going to.
I raised my 4 sons as a single parent from the time they were all toddlers. ( middle children were twins) I started teaching them all young how to do their laundry, clean, and cooking lessons started when they turned 10. I was all they had, and I didn't want them unprepared and unable to survive if something happened to me, etc. They all were taught about menstrual products, and sex ed beginning at age 10 also. My sons have and will willingly go purchase menstrual products for me if I need them to. We also had WWF nights when they were growing up, and I played 🏈 with them also. As parents, it's our responsibility to prepare our children and make sure that they have basic survival skills.
My husband is a top scientist who tells me that the women in the lab do all the work... the men take the credit... BUT when he comes home.. guess who does everything around the house and picks everything off the floor... NOT him.. he knows men are lazy.. he is one and admits he does not care the same. so i just think we have to accept they are lazy. the sit on their OFF button when they come home and that is it. No amount or reminders help.. none.. i have tried to "remind" him of the trash, the dishes , his shower needing cleaned, ( we have our own bathrooms) the micro needing cleaned.. ( i cant reach the back of it ).. He just does it when he feels he HAS to do it and tells me all about the drudgery of it and how he hurt his hand... or how bad it got... on and on and on about the suffering of the way he was sick of the stuff i cooked in it.... SO...I do it all . Chronic.
You did it wrong. Tly don't assign individual tasks. Maybe occasionally, you do that when you need more help with one of your tasks. The reason nothing butsince I've you stopped asking was because you constantly set a precedentthat is easy to take for granted. When you do everything there's no reason curr anybody in the house to exis expect anything different. Also, there's something to be said about that you're the one who cares admitt getting these things done. If you want them done it's your responsibility to see it through. Men don't care about doing house chores every day. But we are willing to help and pitch in. But don't assign tasks like you're a supervisor and we your employee. Sit down and converse and reach a mutual split of responsibilities that need to be done and on which days. That way you're working together and on equal ground. Having said that if you have a man who simply refuses to help and has the audacity to complain about the state of the house, lose him.
I truly am blessed! My man probably does more housework than I do, due to problems I have with my back! I do the full 'spring cleaning' because, and this is not a slight towards him in anyway at all, I know he just doesn't understand what is involved in the 'deep clean'! But I only do that once a year, and I suffer for a fortnight or so in pain because of it, but I know that's it done for another year! Throughout the year my partner does most of the hoovering (he even bought himself a new Dyson for it lol), we both do laundry and dishes, when I'm feeling up to standing long enough to do them! But I would say he definitely does the majority of it! And this was a man who had his mother do everything for him when he lived at home, then when he got married his wife did, then his long term partner after that! He was out working then, that was his job! Now we're both not working and due to my health issues he's had to step up basically and has done so tremendously! I'm so lucky to have him!!
Who thought "maybe I should post this on Bored Panda" I mean seriously what even is this website anymore?
In a relationship it takes two to work it. Just like family rearing or cleaning the house. It should be equal partnership. The woman should be teaching the children to be considerate of each other, the house and the people around them. How not doing one thing causes another issue. They all should be helping each other out.
Men are in leadership positions in the workplace because they earn it, same as women. My partner and I take turns to cook and clean and deal with the kids at bedtime etc, he works the usual 9 to 5 and I work weekends. Ladies is been proven that men compartmentalise better than women, they can focus better on one thing which is why they evolved as the stronger sex physically to hunt and women can take more psychologically to raise children. It's not sexist, it's biology. As a society now is expected that men and women change to adapt but just remember, they're going against a lot of their primal instincts just to exist in this world now, things programed into them by evolution. I'm not saying don't ask, I'm just saying remember where we came from, stay humble and cut each other some slack. Getting really tired of this men VS. Women thing. We're all human.
I don't understand why so many women think that a lack of communication is going to work. If you say "everyone should just do any chore they see" of course that isn't going to work because people will have different estimate of when certain chores need to be done. The work will actually increase because it makes it more likely that people will do chores twice, like two people buying groceries on the same day and not having room in the fridge. You have to communicate with your husband instead of just expecting the chores to get done without deciding who does what. Break up the chores instead of having this disorganized system of "do any chore you see". No business works like that and no family can either.
HEY BS, GOOD INITIALS BECAUSE YOUR FULL OF IT! WHAT DO YOU SUPPOSE THEY ARE BECAUZE I KNOW IT DEFINITELY ISN'T STUPIDITY ON MY PART!
HEY BEN LIKE WHAT WOULD THAT BE DO YOU SUPPOSE?! ANOTHER SIING OF MINE DIDN'T HAVE CHILDREN EITHER BECAUSE HE TOO DOD NOT WANT CHILDREN! IT'S A PERSONAL CHOICE OF WHICH ONE IS ALOWED!
OOPS ANOTHER ERROR! I WANT TO BE SURE THE LAST TWO WORDS WERE CLEAR "BITE ME!"
My fiancee knew the toilet water supply was leaking for weeks before i discovered it and fixed it, too late to stop the water damage though. Where does that fit in to the equal responsibilities argument? she also doesn't fix cupboard doors, change light bulbs, cut the grass, wash the car (though she is very good at dirtying it) you get the idea. But you know what, we accept we have different tolerance levels before things get done (dishes are a once a day thing for me/she's already washing up as i put my cutlery down) and there are things each of us like done certain ways that just isn't worth the other interfering with. We communicate properly and get on with enjoying our life rather than worrying about missing the bins for a week.
Stay at home mom bitching about her job description. Hell, your grandmother did it without automatic washing machines and electric ever-kind-of-gadget.
That's the type of attitude I really hate. Back then it sucked, and still worked, so shut up and don't even try to point out how it would be better. I guess she should be happy she was not grabbed by the hair and hauled into his cave to get raped and impregnated, because 1000+ years ago that was the custom?!
Load More Replies... All female doctors, firefighter, teachers, police officers sending their greetings to you and ask which cave you just crawled out from?
Load More Replies... Some of us are extremely happily married and don't worry about any of this. :)
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