Woman Brings Attention To These Micro-Sexist Things That Are So Normalized, Many People Don’t Even Realize It
There are far too many things that society has normalized that are actually sexist and completely unfair (and even outright damaging) to women. That’s the lesson that TikTok user Chan wants to teach us in a series of informative videos.
TikToker Chan tackles a host of different issues, from somebody saying that a woman ‘has daddy issues’ and women facing repercussions at work to how internalized misogyny works. Have a look at Chan’s videos and we’d love to hear your take on them, dear Pandas.
Do you agree with everything that Chan has said? Do you know of any other sexist things that are normalized and society tends to mostly ignore? Share your thoughts in the comment section.
TikToker Chan tackled the topic of normalized sexism in a series of viral videos. Here’s the first one
@chan42911#fyp #sexism #daddyissues #menaintshit #womenssafety #YesDayChallenge #girladvice♬ original sound – Chan
Image credits: chan42911
Image credits: chan42911
In another video, the TikToker spoke about women in the workplace
@chan42911Reply to @chan42911 bc it didn’t post it right the first time #fyp #sexismatwork #sexism #feminism #97percent #misogyny #womeninpolitics♬ original sound – Chan
Image credits: chan42911
Image credits: chan42911
While another video still analyzed the important topic of internalized sexism
@chan42911#fyp #internalizedmisogony #sexism #feminism #97percent #womenssafety #bodyempowerment♬ original sound – Chan
Image credits: chan42911
Image credits: chan42911
Chan also spoke about how to fight back against misogyny
@chan42911Transition queen or what💪🤠 #fyp #feminism #interalizedmisogny #patriarchy #whatgirlswant #girlssupportgirls♬ I’m So Pretty – chunkymonkeeyy
Image credits: chan42911
Image credits: chan42911
TikToker Chan is an activist who takes an active role in a variety of social issues, from helping protect women and fighting for their rights, as well as trying to put an end to racism and supporting people of color. At least that’s the impression that we get from her TikTok bio.
One of the greatest weapons in this fight for gender equity is better education. Plenty of people focus only on overt, brash, and in-your-face sexism. However, the reality is very different: sexism exists in a variety of different forms and can affect everyone in very nuanced ways.
For instance, misogyny, also known as the hatred of women, is most often expressed in an openly hostile way. It’s when people (most often men) try to show their dominance over women and actively work against them. It’s also usually what a large chunk of folks think about when they hear the word ‘sexism.’
However, according to Medical News Today, other forms of sexism include benevolent sexism where women are framed as being innocent, pure, caring, beautiful, and in need of protection. This is a more socially ‘acceptable’ form of sexism that normalizes the view of women as needing help. It can lead to policing women’s behavior and taking away their ability to make decisions for themselves.
What’s more, sexism can be institutionalized (where it’s prevalent in the structures, organizations, and institutions of our society via rules, traditions, and laws), as well as internalized. The latter means that someone accepts these points of view until they fully embrace them and live by them.
So what TikToker Chan has touched upon is just the tip of the iceberg. Nonetheless, without shining a spotlight on these issues, they continue to remain normalized and society won’t change.
And here’s what people have been saying about Chan’s TikToks
I am not saying there are no valid concerns. Of course there are. But this woman is disingenuous or dense. Of course there's no daddy's boys, they are called mother's boys. The whole argument falls short there. It goes downhill from there, with a twisted distorted view of reality, filled with straw man arguments. Yes, our Western society has a problem with the way women are treated. But this drivel does not help, quite the opposite...
The fact that you need to call her dense for talking about how problematic is the idea of women having daddy’s issues says a lot about you. Yes, men with “mommy issues” exists but that doesn’t invalidate what she said. Also women with daddy issues are often sexualised, often women who enjoy their sexuality are often called like that, implying that the reason why they enjoy sex is a bad relation with their father (and not that sex can be enjoyable). Nobody sexualises men for having mommy issues.
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It is exactly threads like this one that drives division. Claiming misogyny and racism where none exists. I firmly believe that everybody deserves an equal shot at life and nobody should have to live in fear. Where injustice exists, we should be vigilant and stand up to it but all this fake 'victim-claiming' is really grinding me down. Come on people, we're better than this. How about a thread highlighting the plight of the uyhgur muslims in China or the workers earning 64 cents a day making Beyonce's fashion range instead of this self-indulgent crap?
i would love to know how this is "fake victim claiming"
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what the f*ck is happening in the US and TikTok? Jesus, I miss some photography posts...
I am so happy and thankful to work where I do now. I've had many bad experiences with previous jobs. Market Basket, for example, did not even let women become managers back when I first started there in high school. And let's not forget about the constant sexual harassment and demeaning of women. I work in an office all women now. We are all very supportive of each other, and help build each other up. The culture here is amazing. We also don't tear men down. Yes, it's possible. I'm sad reading so many of these comments. I thought Bored Panda wasn't so full of people who get angry when they read about the BS women constantly deal with.
Yeah. I had a job for a while in a company where women were only cleaning ladies or receptionists. I was the only woman EVER hired to do the same job as men were doing. It was physically demanding but most women with good health could have done it (I met plenty of women doing harder jobs, including cleaning). When I did the interview they asked me if I felt that I was capable of working in a male team and told that they didn’t have any other female worker. I has overqualified for the job but I needed it so I took it. I was treated from the beginning like useless despite doing a better job than many and treated like a child. One of my coworkers even asked me why I wasn’t “doing a lighter woman’s job like cleaning”. I told him that if he thought that being a cleaner is a light job it must be because he never cleaned in his life. Morons. I left as fast as I could,
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Wow. Lots of triggered men commenting here. Tell you what, guys, just swap places with me for a couple days, then let’s see if you still think you have to deal with way more—-and way worse—-than women do, every single day.
Yeah it is crazy how many rabid misogyny are in this site. She never bashes men or says that men don’t have problems. She is just showing two examples of sexism against women. But apparently we aren’t entitled to ask for respect or equal treatment. I feel that for far too many users we should go back to the early 1900s where women had 0 rights.
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There's a psychological manipulation with the way a lot of these TikToks are presented: everyone shown from Tiktok agrees with the Tiktok presenter. I mean the following as background, not as a complaint because I think BoredPanda members are fairly politically tolerant: BP is definitely more liberal than the general population of the U.S. at least. Yet even here, many of the comments are criticisms. But the "seeded" responses from TikTok are all praise. Given that people downvote those they disagree with and the effect of downvoting is censorship (not state censorship, of course, but discretionary censorship), there's a subtle coercion (which the comments demonstrate is not entirely effective).
I am absolutely sick of "ohmygawd we, as females, are so oppressed and we are so incapable of being adults and standing up for ourselves, SOMEONE MUST RESCUE US."
Please show me exactly where in this article anyone asked to be rescued. I am absolutely sick of people who pretend that sexism and oppression of women has magically gone away when this is clearly untrue. Why do you look at women who are justifiably angry at the way the world treats us and see victims?
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I never waste my time and try to prove to anyone what I’m capable of doing as a woman. I just do things for myself and it speaks volumes. Stop bringing attention to yourself and get off social media.
This all seems like attention seeking only anymore… A guy who doesn’t take care of his children doesn’t have a good reputation where I live and will definitely get called names. What really annoys me though is that there‘s so much focus on these small things when there are still so many big issues that should be solved in terms of treatment of women. There are people being burned as witches in Africa, Latin America and other places, there are girls being circumcised under terrible medical conditions, there are modern countries where it’s still perfectly legal to brutally beat your wife and worse, but these tiktokers complain about 'micro-sexist' things.
Two wrongs don't make a right. We can fight for people to have better access to nutritious foods in Westernised countries AT THE SAME TIME as wanting to prevent famines overseas. We can work towards better educational standards in our schools AND want better access to education for third world children.
Load More Replies...
Misogyny is real. Yapping about it does nothing to fix it. We already know the problem. Raise your kids to be less sexist. Raise them to see each other as people, not "girls" or "boys" with all attendant stereotypes regarding interests, mood, etc. How about we try that?
Certainly we must encourage people to see each other as people. But denying gender works only until gender becomes unavoidable. Teach "women are people," (not baby-makers nor sexual conquests, not bitches or church mice, but people) rather than "we're all people, not men and women."
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it also brought out yourself ... so what's the point?
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This is mostly very true, but I disagree with the last part being meant to tear down other women. I think most women say "I'm not the kind of girl who..." just as an attempt to break through the mold that we're so often put in. If someone says they're not the kind of girl who likes romantic comedies, for example, that's probably because people automatically assume she likes them because she's female (without even asking what kind of movies she likes) and she feels obligated to show that she's different because she feels that she's been placed in a mold. My opinion at least :)
I feel that there is a very fine line to walk. As a non traditionally feminine woman (and girl) I grew up with people trying to force me to act in certain “feminine” ways. As a consequence of how people treated me and how media portrayed girls and women I developed a lot of internalised sexism. For example thinking that women who like dresses or pink are less strong that other women, more shallow. Of course I learned that this is not true,, but it takes time. It is difficult to defend yourself all the time against idiotic gender roles while understanding that it is ok that people follow some gender stereotypes.
Load More Replies... Another man bashing article from BP, Next time there's a war, you sisters can storm the beaches, we'll stay at home taking selfies.
when the brothers stormed the beaches, the sisters nursed their wounds. when the brothers stormed the beaches, the sisters stayed home and worked the jobs they no longer could. when the brothers stormed the beaches, the women kept this nation on its feet and were absolutely not taking selfies during the Normandy landings (I assume that's what you're referring to) because that happened in 1944??? You say this as if you were there. Did you land on the beaches of Normandy to fight Nazis? Or do you believe that you earn credit for everything a man does just because of your common sex. Sure, we sisters will storm the beaches, but you'll find there's a lot more to do here than sit around and take selfies so roll up your sleeves and get ready to work.
Load More Replies...
If I'm saying somebody is rude, they are rude by MY standards. Their behaviour seems rude and offensive to me, so I'll say it, doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman.
Assertive and aggressive are two completely different things. Loud and shouty is aggression, not assertion.
Don’t ya just love all the triggered and insecure men in the comments?
Sharpay and Gabriella (High School Musical) were both good enough to get the part. But Sharpay was making the show all about her, whereas Gabriella was a first-timer and thus didn't want to draw too much attention to herself.
I'm sorry, I don't know where this woman grew up, or lives, but she needs help
I refuse to support any societal standard that puts the blame on the victim. I've had enough of that piled onto me for my entire life, thank you very much.
No, I don't hear of guys having "Daddy issues." I hear of them having "Mommy issues."
I agree with the "Daddy issues" part. I never thought about it that way before. I think "Daddy has issues" would be more appropriate. However, I don't believe the following parts are gender-specific. Both men and women fall into the two double-bind categories, and both resent male/female colleagues who work in the same position.
It's a rhetorical trick, only flipping genders on one side of the relationship. The male equivalent would be Mommy issed, and yes, I hear that a lot. (Maybe not QUITE as commonly as Daddy issues.) The accusation is that someone doesn't know how to deal with the opposite gender because they had a poor relationship with the opposite gender as children. It's Freudian crap, which certainly CAN be used misogynistically, but it's not inherently misogynist.
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Nope, I have never heard of any female being told she has "Daddy Issues". I either live under a rock or it's not that wide spread!
That dude is nuts ! no wonder he is single.. you are all going to die alone
I had to stop reading. I have never read such a sexist load of claptrap in my life. If we reversed the roles she'd be taking off like a rocket. She probably gets treated poorly by men because she's overtly hostile to them. This hostility only goes to reinforce her belief that men are horrible.
Not at all. Feminists often talk about how sexism affects men and we try to combat it. Talking about the challenges that women face does not mean ignoring men’s problems. Half of her text is bout women being sexist towards other women, not even about men. But of course misogyny like you need to make it about them.
Load More Replies... After reading this article, I have concluded that women can't think for themselves and have no inner will, and that they all are controlled by this thing called "misogyny".
Replace the word "misogyny" with "uterus" instead, and you'd fit right into Victorian and previous historical eras with no problem.
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The reason why some men join the hate organisation matos is because these men are hateful misogyns.
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No, the fact that it IS misogyny means it’s misogyny.
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I am not saying there are no valid concerns. Of course there are. But this woman is disingenuous or dense. Of course there's no daddy's boys, they are called mother's boys. The whole argument falls short there. It goes downhill from there, with a twisted distorted view of reality, filled with straw man arguments. Yes, our Western society has a problem with the way women are treated. But this drivel does not help, quite the opposite...
The fact that you need to call her dense for talking about how problematic is the idea of women having daddy’s issues says a lot about you. Yes, men with “mommy issues” exists but that doesn’t invalidate what she said. Also women with daddy issues are often sexualised, often women who enjoy their sexuality are often called like that, implying that the reason why they enjoy sex is a bad relation with their father (and not that sex can be enjoyable). Nobody sexualises men for having mommy issues.
Load More Replies... It is exactly threads like this one that drives division. Claiming misogyny and racism where none exists. I firmly believe that everybody deserves an equal shot at life and nobody should have to live in fear. Where injustice exists, we should be vigilant and stand up to it but all this fake 'victim-claiming' is really grinding me down. Come on people, we're better than this. How about a thread highlighting the plight of the uyhgur muslims in China or the workers earning 64 cents a day making Beyonce's fashion range instead of this self-indulgent crap?
i would love to know how this is "fake victim claiming"
Load More Replies... what the f*ck is happening in the US and TikTok? Jesus, I miss some photography posts...
I am so happy and thankful to work where I do now. I've had many bad experiences with previous jobs. Market Basket, for example, did not even let women become managers back when I first started there in high school. And let's not forget about the constant sexual harassment and demeaning of women. I work in an office all women now. We are all very supportive of each other, and help build each other up. The culture here is amazing. We also don't tear men down. Yes, it's possible. I'm sad reading so many of these comments. I thought Bored Panda wasn't so full of people who get angry when they read about the BS women constantly deal with.
Yeah. I had a job for a while in a company where women were only cleaning ladies or receptionists. I was the only woman EVER hired to do the same job as men were doing. It was physically demanding but most women with good health could have done it (I met plenty of women doing harder jobs, including cleaning). When I did the interview they asked me if I felt that I was capable of working in a male team and told that they didn’t have any other female worker. I has overqualified for the job but I needed it so I took it. I was treated from the beginning like useless despite doing a better job than many and treated like a child. One of my coworkers even asked me why I wasn’t “doing a lighter woman’s job like cleaning”. I told him that if he thought that being a cleaner is a light job it must be because he never cleaned in his life. Morons. I left as fast as I could,
Load More Replies... Wow. Lots of triggered men commenting here. Tell you what, guys, just swap places with me for a couple days, then let’s see if you still think you have to deal with way more—-and way worse—-than women do, every single day.
Yeah it is crazy how many rabid misogyny are in this site. She never bashes men or says that men don’t have problems. She is just showing two examples of sexism against women. But apparently we aren’t entitled to ask for respect or equal treatment. I feel that for far too many users we should go back to the early 1900s where women had 0 rights.
Load More Replies... There's a psychological manipulation with the way a lot of these TikToks are presented: everyone shown from Tiktok agrees with the Tiktok presenter. I mean the following as background, not as a complaint because I think BoredPanda members are fairly politically tolerant: BP is definitely more liberal than the general population of the U.S. at least. Yet even here, many of the comments are criticisms. But the "seeded" responses from TikTok are all praise. Given that people downvote those they disagree with and the effect of downvoting is censorship (not state censorship, of course, but discretionary censorship), there's a subtle coercion (which the comments demonstrate is not entirely effective).
I am absolutely sick of "ohmygawd we, as females, are so oppressed and we are so incapable of being adults and standing up for ourselves, SOMEONE MUST RESCUE US."
Please show me exactly where in this article anyone asked to be rescued. I am absolutely sick of people who pretend that sexism and oppression of women has magically gone away when this is clearly untrue. Why do you look at women who are justifiably angry at the way the world treats us and see victims?
Load More Replies... I never waste my time and try to prove to anyone what I’m capable of doing as a woman. I just do things for myself and it speaks volumes. Stop bringing attention to yourself and get off social media.
This all seems like attention seeking only anymore… A guy who doesn’t take care of his children doesn’t have a good reputation where I live and will definitely get called names. What really annoys me though is that there‘s so much focus on these small things when there are still so many big issues that should be solved in terms of treatment of women. There are people being burned as witches in Africa, Latin America and other places, there are girls being circumcised under terrible medical conditions, there are modern countries where it’s still perfectly legal to brutally beat your wife and worse, but these tiktokers complain about 'micro-sexist' things.
Two wrongs don't make a right. We can fight for people to have better access to nutritious foods in Westernised countries AT THE SAME TIME as wanting to prevent famines overseas. We can work towards better educational standards in our schools AND want better access to education for third world children.
Load More Replies... Misogyny is real. Yapping about it does nothing to fix it. We already know the problem. Raise your kids to be less sexist. Raise them to see each other as people, not "girls" or "boys" with all attendant stereotypes regarding interests, mood, etc. How about we try that?
Certainly we must encourage people to see each other as people. But denying gender works only until gender becomes unavoidable. Teach "women are people," (not baby-makers nor sexual conquests, not bitches or church mice, but people) rather than "we're all people, not men and women."
Load More Replies... it also brought out yourself ... so what's the point?
Load More Replies... This is mostly very true, but I disagree with the last part being meant to tear down other women. I think most women say "I'm not the kind of girl who..." just as an attempt to break through the mold that we're so often put in. If someone says they're not the kind of girl who likes romantic comedies, for example, that's probably because people automatically assume she likes them because she's female (without even asking what kind of movies she likes) and she feels obligated to show that she's different because she feels that she's been placed in a mold. My opinion at least :)
I feel that there is a very fine line to walk. As a non traditionally feminine woman (and girl) I grew up with people trying to force me to act in certain “feminine” ways. As a consequence of how people treated me and how media portrayed girls and women I developed a lot of internalised sexism. For example thinking that women who like dresses or pink are less strong that other women, more shallow. Of course I learned that this is not true,, but it takes time. It is difficult to defend yourself all the time against idiotic gender roles while understanding that it is ok that people follow some gender stereotypes.
Load More Replies... Another man bashing article from BP, Next time there's a war, you sisters can storm the beaches, we'll stay at home taking selfies.
when the brothers stormed the beaches, the sisters nursed their wounds. when the brothers stormed the beaches, the sisters stayed home and worked the jobs they no longer could. when the brothers stormed the beaches, the women kept this nation on its feet and were absolutely not taking selfies during the Normandy landings (I assume that's what you're referring to) because that happened in 1944??? You say this as if you were there. Did you land on the beaches of Normandy to fight Nazis? Or do you believe that you earn credit for everything a man does just because of your common sex. Sure, we sisters will storm the beaches, but you'll find there's a lot more to do here than sit around and take selfies so roll up your sleeves and get ready to work.
Load More Replies... If I'm saying somebody is rude, they are rude by MY standards. Their behaviour seems rude and offensive to me, so I'll say it, doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman.
Assertive and aggressive are two completely different things. Loud and shouty is aggression, not assertion.
Don’t ya just love all the triggered and insecure men in the comments?
Sharpay and Gabriella (High School Musical) were both good enough to get the part. But Sharpay was making the show all about her, whereas Gabriella was a first-timer and thus didn't want to draw too much attention to herself.
I'm sorry, I don't know where this woman grew up, or lives, but she needs help
I refuse to support any societal standard that puts the blame on the victim. I've had enough of that piled onto me for my entire life, thank you very much.
No, I don't hear of guys having "Daddy issues." I hear of them having "Mommy issues."
I agree with the "Daddy issues" part. I never thought about it that way before. I think "Daddy has issues" would be more appropriate. However, I don't believe the following parts are gender-specific. Both men and women fall into the two double-bind categories, and both resent male/female colleagues who work in the same position.
It's a rhetorical trick, only flipping genders on one side of the relationship. The male equivalent would be Mommy issed, and yes, I hear that a lot. (Maybe not QUITE as commonly as Daddy issues.) The accusation is that someone doesn't know how to deal with the opposite gender because they had a poor relationship with the opposite gender as children. It's Freudian crap, which certainly CAN be used misogynistically, but it's not inherently misogynist.
Load More Replies... Nope, I have never heard of any female being told she has "Daddy Issues". I either live under a rock or it's not that wide spread!
That dude is nuts ! no wonder he is single.. you are all going to die alone
I had to stop reading. I have never read such a sexist load of claptrap in my life. If we reversed the roles she'd be taking off like a rocket. She probably gets treated poorly by men because she's overtly hostile to them. This hostility only goes to reinforce her belief that men are horrible.
Not at all. Feminists often talk about how sexism affects men and we try to combat it. Talking about the challenges that women face does not mean ignoring men’s problems. Half of her text is bout women being sexist towards other women, not even about men. But of course misogyny like you need to make it about them.
Load More Replies... After reading this article, I have concluded that women can't think for themselves and have no inner will, and that they all are controlled by this thing called "misogyny".
Replace the word "misogyny" with "uterus" instead, and you'd fit right into Victorian and previous historical eras with no problem.
Load More Replies... The reason why some men join the hate organisation matos is because these men are hateful misogyns.
Load More Replies... No, the fact that it IS misogyny means it’s misogyny.
Load More Replies... 
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