Guy Reveals That He Secretly Broke Up His Wife’s Sister And Her Abusive Husband
You think you know a person, especially the one you’re involved with. Recently, however, someone on reddit asked others to reveal the secrets they’re keeping from their significant others, and the number of responses is a perfect reminder that people tend to keep some things for themselves.
But one answer stood out from the rest. Amassing over 18,5K upvotes in just a few days, it tells a story about an anonymous act of kindness.
Image credits:Jeremy Keith (Not the actual photo)
“About eight years ago I discovered my wife’s sister’s reddit account accidentally. It was a variation of a username she’d used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her.”
“She was posting on the relationship advice subreddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We’d known something was off about him, but couldn’t really put our finger on it. I created another account that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help.”
“She didn’t want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we’d just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn’t think this based on appearances, so it was an understandable concern). I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it’s possible her family realizes something isn’t quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out.”
“After their divorce, I deleted that account. Nobody will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me.”
People instantly started applauding the anonymous hero
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), “Sexual violence, stalking, and intimate partner violence are important public health problems that have an enormous and long term physical and mental health impact on victims.” A few years ago, the organization released The National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey, providing insights into these problems.
Turns out, intimate partner contact sexual violence, physical violence, and/or stalking was experienced by 37.3% of U.S. women during their lifetime, with state estimates ranging from 27.8% to 45.3% and 30.9% of U.S. men, with state estimates ranging from 18.5% to 38.2%.
While contact sexual violence by an intimate partner was experienced by 1 in 6 women (16.4%) and 1 in 14 men (7.0%) during their lifetime, physical violence by an intimate partner was experienced by almost a third of women (32.4%) and more than a quarter of men (28.3%) and psychological aggression by an intimate partner was experienced by 47.1% of women and 47.3% of men.
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Sometimes it takes a perfect stranger to save the day. To talk to without fear of judgement, without worrying about making others worry. Had he approached her with his wife directly, it would probably end up in an "I'm fine, everything's going great! Oh, he's just really tired..." Acting like a stranger was the best approach.
I would have far preferred to talk to a sympathetic total stranger online - than admit to my family at the time.
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Years ago I was suspicious about why my evil Ex was being so secretive online. I knew the chat site he used and the name he went under. I created a whole fake persona, profile, life - along with fake photo and went into it. Sure enough shortly he began private-messaging her (me). It was difficult to see the lies he was telling about himself, me, and our relationship. I kept it up for about a month before announcing she was soon coming to his area for a friend's wedding, where upon he became desperate to meet up with her (me). Even to the point of arranging a date/time/location. Needless to say she didn't turn up. He never, ever knew, but it was sad to have my suspicions confirmed. It was very surreal being in the same house whilst he was messaging another woman (me) who was feeding him a load of bulls**t about an imaginary life while he was doing the same about our REAL life.
Wish I still had the record of those dozens of messaging conversations. I never led him on in any way whatsoever. Ostensibly I was a fairly rich young widow who had inherited a small chain of jewellry shops, sold them and invested in property. My ficticious ex-husband (deceased) had been abusive and broken my arm once. He was appalled and said he thought that was awful and should never happen - he hated the idea of men hitting women. (at the time I I was typing this I had a massive black eye - courtesy of him). The biggest irony was - 3 years later - he actually broke my arm. I still feel some small satisfaction at getting away with my deception. Strangely - it was fun.
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This morning this post on Bored Panda has a better headline. This guy did not "break up" the relationship, he gave his SIL support anonymously, so that she could decide for herself what to do and could eventually reach out to her sister and BIL.
Wish I had had that sort of support - however I was pretty much banned from the internet. He would cancel my account every other day - damm - am just realising how really sad it was. He broke my phone, broke my laptop because I managed to create another account etc etc etc
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Thank you to this man for respecting and caring about his SIL. It is shaming to me -- a man (a gay man) -- that males account or 94% of domestic violence and women account for 91% of the victims -- yes, there are abusive same-sex partners. MEN need to stand up against the casual attitudes MEN exhibit toward domestic violence. From music lyrics through comedy, TV and movies, it's everywhere. I've left more than one gathering after letting someone know that my mom was abused and their ugly joke wasn't funny. If they're with a woman, I look at her and ask, "Do you seriously want to be with someone who thinks domestic violence is a joke? You could be his victim."
My mom (me and my sister) lives next to a couple. They were nice. Everything fine. I moved n my sister moved. Stuff went south for neighbors. She started using a spare emergency key and taking things from my mom. Mom got her kid back saying brother needed it. She would bother other neighbors for drugs, rides to stores, beer, and cash. I listened to my mom complain about how she got out of hand. She had kicked the husband out. So I wrote an anonymous letter to the husband about "neighbors needing her to stop being a pain to everyone. (An the booze n drugs)". He later used it for his divorce. This was over 5 years. In 2006 we sorta clicked and started dating. She passed that November from an O.D. We've been together through it an married now 4 years. She was a good person once but lost it. But fate let me save him twice. I told him I wrote the letter a few years after she died and he said he needed it because no one believed how she was actually.
Sometimes hearing things from what a person considers to be outside the family is accepted more because they feel that person has a non bias opinion toward the situation. I am glad this worked out for this person and it sounds like she needed to know it would be okay to lean on them.
OK so one time, I was waiting for my train to come and a stranger started talking to me. She was friendly and so we talked for abit. At the end of our conversation, we added each other on facebook. After a while, I felt like we were actually becoming good friends until one day, she sends me this photo. It was a beautiful photo of a bride and all her bridesmaids around her doing finishing touches on her wedding dress. One of the bridesmaids faces was scribbled over though. She captioned the photo with, 'sorry I look ugly'. Im going to cut this story short and tell you guys that something felt off and so i searched for the wedding picture online, and guess what guys... I found the original! I was so mad that I just sent her the image back. Without the scribble.
So the best way to solve a problem with a person that uses aggression and violence to deal with his/her problems, is to use aggression and violence towards them? Am I understanding you correctly?
Load More Replies...
If they confronted her and she wasn't ready to reveal or leave, they might have cut themselves off as an someone she felt comfortable with. She might have isolated herself from them and other family. There is an element of shame in being in an abusive relationship, family might be told after strangers because it matters more what they think. This also saves her dignity a little, she acted to save herself. The outcome was the same, but she took the first step, it will make her stronger too in her recovery
Load More Replies... 
Sometimes it takes a perfect stranger to save the day. To talk to without fear of judgement, without worrying about making others worry. Had he approached her with his wife directly, it would probably end up in an "I'm fine, everything's going great! Oh, he's just really tired..." Acting like a stranger was the best approach.
I would have far preferred to talk to a sympathetic total stranger online - than admit to my family at the time.
Load More Replies... Years ago I was suspicious about why my evil Ex was being so secretive online. I knew the chat site he used and the name he went under. I created a whole fake persona, profile, life - along with fake photo and went into it. Sure enough shortly he began private-messaging her (me). It was difficult to see the lies he was telling about himself, me, and our relationship. I kept it up for about a month before announcing she was soon coming to his area for a friend's wedding, where upon he became desperate to meet up with her (me). Even to the point of arranging a date/time/location. Needless to say she didn't turn up. He never, ever knew, but it was sad to have my suspicions confirmed. It was very surreal being in the same house whilst he was messaging another woman (me) who was feeding him a load of bulls**t about an imaginary life while he was doing the same about our REAL life.
Wish I still had the record of those dozens of messaging conversations. I never led him on in any way whatsoever. Ostensibly I was a fairly rich young widow who had inherited a small chain of jewellry shops, sold them and invested in property. My ficticious ex-husband (deceased) had been abusive and broken my arm once. He was appalled and said he thought that was awful and should never happen - he hated the idea of men hitting women. (at the time I I was typing this I had a massive black eye - courtesy of him). The biggest irony was - 3 years later - he actually broke my arm. I still feel some small satisfaction at getting away with my deception. Strangely - it was fun.
Load More Replies... This morning this post on Bored Panda has a better headline. This guy did not "break up" the relationship, he gave his SIL support anonymously, so that she could decide for herself what to do and could eventually reach out to her sister and BIL.
Wish I had had that sort of support - however I was pretty much banned from the internet. He would cancel my account every other day - damm - am just realising how really sad it was. He broke my phone, broke my laptop because I managed to create another account etc etc etc
Load More Replies... Thank you to this man for respecting and caring about his SIL. It is shaming to me -- a man (a gay man) -- that males account or 94% of domestic violence and women account for 91% of the victims -- yes, there are abusive same-sex partners. MEN need to stand up against the casual attitudes MEN exhibit toward domestic violence. From music lyrics through comedy, TV and movies, it's everywhere. I've left more than one gathering after letting someone know that my mom was abused and their ugly joke wasn't funny. If they're with a woman, I look at her and ask, "Do you seriously want to be with someone who thinks domestic violence is a joke? You could be his victim."
My mom (me and my sister) lives next to a couple. They were nice. Everything fine. I moved n my sister moved. Stuff went south for neighbors. She started using a spare emergency key and taking things from my mom. Mom got her kid back saying brother needed it. She would bother other neighbors for drugs, rides to stores, beer, and cash. I listened to my mom complain about how she got out of hand. She had kicked the husband out. So I wrote an anonymous letter to the husband about "neighbors needing her to stop being a pain to everyone. (An the booze n drugs)". He later used it for his divorce. This was over 5 years. In 2006 we sorta clicked and started dating. She passed that November from an O.D. We've been together through it an married now 4 years. She was a good person once but lost it. But fate let me save him twice. I told him I wrote the letter a few years after she died and he said he needed it because no one believed how she was actually.
Sometimes hearing things from what a person considers to be outside the family is accepted more because they feel that person has a non bias opinion toward the situation. I am glad this worked out for this person and it sounds like she needed to know it would be okay to lean on them.
OK so one time, I was waiting for my train to come and a stranger started talking to me. She was friendly and so we talked for abit. At the end of our conversation, we added each other on facebook. After a while, I felt like we were actually becoming good friends until one day, she sends me this photo. It was a beautiful photo of a bride and all her bridesmaids around her doing finishing touches on her wedding dress. One of the bridesmaids faces was scribbled over though. She captioned the photo with, 'sorry I look ugly'. Im going to cut this story short and tell you guys that something felt off and so i searched for the wedding picture online, and guess what guys... I found the original! I was so mad that I just sent her the image back. Without the scribble.
So the best way to solve a problem with a person that uses aggression and violence to deal with his/her problems, is to use aggression and violence towards them? Am I understanding you correctly?
Load More Replies... If they confronted her and she wasn't ready to reveal or leave, they might have cut themselves off as an someone she felt comfortable with. She might have isolated herself from them and other family. There is an element of shame in being in an abusive relationship, family might be told after strangers because it matters more what they think. This also saves her dignity a little, she acted to save herself. The outcome was the same, but she took the first step, it will make her stronger too in her recovery
Load More Replies... 
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