Woman Rebukes An Annoying Child For Touching Her Stuff At A Restaurant, Gets Confronted By His Mother
Strangers always have something to say to parents. Especially when it comes to disciplining their kids. Even if they don’t express themselves directly, moms and dads can feel the glares and hear the whispering as folks mutter insults under their breath. I think it goes without saying these ‘critics’ can be beyond frustrating. But what if they have a point?
Recently, Redditor u/BingandBong123 made a post on the “Am I the A**hole” subreddit about the time she and her family went to a restaurant only to endure a particularly obnoxious kid ruining their time. However, when the little fella inevitably went too far and OP tried to ingrain some sense into him, the boy’s mother wasn’t happy about it.
Continue scrolling to read how it all went down, and let us know in the comments if you think u/BingandBong123 was the jerk in the situation.
Image credits: AleksandarNakic (not the actual photo)
This particular case aside, former Editor-in-Chief turned parenting blogger Talya Stone thinks that since pretty much everyone has an opinion on how a child should be raised, we just love to judge parents. “I always like to remind people that we really have no idea what is going on in that said person or family’s life at that moment. We don’t know people’s stories, so we shouldn’t really be making any presumptions or judgments on their parenting,” the woman behind the blogs Motherhood: The Real Deal and 40 Now What told Bored Panda.
Maybe they’ve had a really bad day and got laid off at work or they’re suffering from a fight with their partner; we just can’t know why a parent appears to be distracted.
“There are so many permutations and we have to remind ourselves that unless we want our own lives to be meddled in or judged harshly then we should refrain from doing the same,” Stone pointed out. “At the end of the day, how someone chooses to raise their children is really none of their business, unless that is it truly starts impacting us, and even then, we still have to be mindful of how we approach the situation.”
But parents shouldn’t take out empathy as a free pass too. “I do find it blood-boiling how some can either: a) not notice what their children are getting up to; or b) seem to turn a blind eye to it,” Talya Stone said. “The clue here is in the word parenting. We are supposed to parent them! Both at home and in public.”
Moms and dads should be taking a proactive approach to prevent behavior problems whenever possible. That means planning ahead and identifying strategies that can reduce the likelihood that their child will misbehave. According to Stone, this includes “ensuring they behave in an appropriate way for that setting, not touching other people’s things without permission, ensuring they are using basic banners and using ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ when out and about, apologizing as and when necessary, using appropriate and kind language, handling their emotions appropriately in public, clearing up after themselves and so on.”
That way, strangers probably wouldn’t feel the need to get involved, either — they’d see the caregivers getting involved.
“Ultimately, the children should be with the parents and not running around on the loose without mom or dad, or at least within range so the parent can keep an eye on them and their behavior,” Stone said.
If the child, however, isn’t sure what behavior is and isn’t appropriate, they should be able (and willing) to check with their parents.
But of course, no child can carry themselves with impeccable manners all the time. “I think it’s easy to subscribe to the notion that kids will be kids, but instead, it may help parents to think more along the lines of kids being adults in training,” Stone said on managing expectations.
“If as parents you think along the lines of the latter, this provides a perfect guideline for where to draw the line. Sure, they are kids and should be given the freedom to be playful, have fun and explore, but also by thinking about what their behavior teaches them in terms of their future selves, well, I’m pretty sure you wouldn’t want your child to be an adult climbing under tables, licking the floor and stealing things from strangers in public, would you?”
Luckily, we also managed to get in touch with u/BingandBong123 and she agreed to tell us more about what led to the confrontation. “The mother was occasionally looking up to watch her child but didn’t react at all to him running around and shouting; the staff tried to politely shush him/ask him to stop running a couple of times but he would stop just for 30 seconds and then start back up again,” the Redditor told Bored Panda.
The woman doesn’t think the little boy cared very much about what she was telling him. “He clearly knew he was doing something naughty as he looked embarrassed/ashamed when I scolded him, but knew his mom would come and bail him out,” she explained.
Let’s hope the little one will get more opportunities to grow and mature.
Other users (parents included) were really disturbed by the mom’s indifference to her child’s behavior
I know a few kids who are "raised" like that. When a family friends who'd had enough of this kind of behaviour spoke to one of them in a scolding way, the kid burst into tears, because he wasn't used to be told no at home. It was a genuinely shocked reaction from this child. So I think it is absolutely worth it to scold misbehaving stranger's children, like the person in this post did. It's the only "parenting" they are likely to receive and will help them develop normally despite their neglectful parents.
Or A-hat mom will openly enable her son's behavior by talking bad about the poster. I can just hear her in my head "oh sweetie, that mean person was crazy. You are an absolute angel who can do no harm....blah blah blah" and effectively render her offspring useless to society.
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Ahole in this scenario is the mother who is too lazy and selfish to parent. Running around a restaurant and taking other people's things at 10 isn't "being a kid", it's a kid who has never been taught how to behave in a restaurant, telling him off was doing him a favour at that point
I've had to do the same thing. A kid on the train kept trying to use my laptop even I was working. The mum was useless - said something like "I don't think the grumpy man wants you to play on his laptop".
Had something very similar.... the mum said 'there's someone who doesn't like kids'. 🙄 Not true at all. I'd started feeling unwell at work to make things worse. People shouldn't assume that everyone feels perfectly okay - some of us hurt all the time or might be unwell. Teach children some boundaries.
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2 words: Head Lice! A kid should never put on a stranger's hat, or anyone's hat, only their own. Why is no one talking about this? It's a huge health issue to share hats. I had head lice once as a kid. It's no fun. F-u-c-k that mom.
I'll probably get downvoted but from my experience I will tell you from where the new parents get this attitude! From psychologists! I have plenty of examples from my environment where my friends with kids are being advised by psychologists not to shout at their kids! Yes yelling is not okay, yes hitting them is not okay and all these should be in the past but the new advises don't mean not to have any boundaries! Every time i hear a new advise from my friends psychologist or something they read on a new book I'm appalled and realise why kids have no boundaries!!! I really think that these people advising for sure have no kids or haven't had any encounter with kids ever! This will not lead to mentally healthier kids but to kids that cannot function in public
The past advice I was ever given when I was pregnant with my oldest was to avoid books on how to be parent. I did check one out from the library once just to see and as soon as I saw the recommendation to ignore bad behavior I understood my dad's advice. What you're saying is completely true and reminds of the idiotic idea to not keep score at sporting events for young children. We don't always win and teaching children otherwise and giving them a false since of accomplishment has done our society no favors.
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Was sitting in the window alcove of a restaurant watching some kid running around the tables. When I saw he was going to try to run around our table, I shot my leg out, braced it on the wall next to me and blocked his path. Looked him in the eye and said, i my best imitation of my mother, "Do. Not." :D
At a playground another boy went for my nephew once - they were similar ages, about 8. I said 'Don't Even Think It' in freezing tones. Child backed off instantly. No need to raise your voice, just sound like you are very serious and will take no sh!t whatsoever. My nephew was thrilled with me!
Load More Replies... I've encountered this type of situation several times and if/when the parent gets mad at me for their lack of parenting I tell them "since you won't discipline your child then I'll happily do it for you" and that shuts them down.
A big fat NTA. That kid needed someone to say something and coz his family couldn't give two shits, it was up to a stranger. The only AH are the people condoning his poor behaviour.
The sweetest little girl came towards me while standing in a queue with one of my yorkies (my Luna was sitting very calmly right next to me, with a leash, btw), she asked if she could "talk" to my dog, and before I could even reply, she kicked her right between the eyes and ran to her mother. I began to scream, and fell to the floor trying to see if my Luna was ok (she was, I had somehow managed to pull her back instinctively with the leash), but she was wailing in a panic. I really wanted to say a few things to the mother who was just watching petrified, but I was so shaken I just ran out with my yorkie in my arms and went straight to the vet to check her eyes. I hope she sought professional help for her daughter.
I would have made a detour to hurt that kid and then gone to the vet.
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Mother has literally ZERO right to even talk to you, let alone rebuke you. If the kid is TEN(ish) years old, he should know better. My cousin's 4 year old has known this for over a year.
A major, basic thing that should be taught to children at a young age: MANNERS. Jesus, I sound old. But I stand by my comment.
I once knocked two fingers on the hand of a child who reached into my plate in the restaurant and took a handful of fries. It probably hurt a little, but the shock was bigger. His father then stormed over, furious, but backed down when I explained what his son had been up to.
Ten year old adolescents should know better. Parents need to teach their children that different spaces require different behaviours. If the youngster attends school he will DEFINITELY know how to modulate his behaviour... the parent is an enabler. The woman had every right to tell him to keep his mitts off her stuff and her response was appropriate. It's the child's parent who should be embarrassed.
NTA... and I would say that not only is the mother the A, but so is the restaurant (and any other establishment) that does not have, nor enforce an unruly kids policy. It is extraordinarily shortsighted to allow customers to do this sort of thing.
No, he's not the ahole, and shouldn't have had to become involved. The parents should have made sure that their child was behaved in public. Thinking back, remember there used to be brochures in wireless stores, particularly ones that showed the different plans? We're going back to 2010 and earlier. Why are they no longer available? Because more and more kids would run around throwing them (also, yanking products off the wall) and parents would do nothing. They were taken out of one company's stores directly because of that. And that came from a regional director of Marketing.
Worked in retail for years. The number of parents that drop the kids off in the toy isle while they shop is pathetic. The parents think nothing of the kids completely destroying packaging and emptying shelves. Would the parents go to the electronics counter, rip open all the packaging,.try it then throw it to the floor.
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I have turned my full teacher look on kids in public many times. Rarely have to say anything, but I've done that, too.
Definitely NTA, that mother should have taught her child how to behave in a restaurant and to respect other people's things. The mother could have avoided the whole situation if she actually stepped up and parented her child. I can't stand parents who let their children run amok and do nothing to stop it, then get mad when someone else puts a stop to it.
Defo NTA. We are teaching my son that he cannot just take things from other people or touch their stuff.
And you usually teach them that when they are, like, 3, and not 10.
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I don't know who needs to hear this but.... CHILDREN DONT GET A FREE PASS TO BE LITTLE ENTITLED DICKHEADS JUST BECAUSE THEYRE CHILDREN! this idea that "he's just a kid" is an acceptable excuse for your child not having basic manners needs to go away. If this were me I'd fucken snap on that woman. Also, you're not special because you have kids. You're not more important because you have kids. You don't get special privileges because you have kids. If I acted like that child in a restaurant you know that woman would complain... so why the F**k is it okay for a kid to act like an annoying little ass? It's not. Control your little demons or don't leave the house. But most of all... stop acting like everyone else needs to put up with your kids bullshit just because you put up with their bullshit... teach your kid how to be civil n well mannered or don't bring them in public.
Lazy piece of *** mother. Encountered these when I worked at a tourist attraction-type place... would get routinely reamed out for not letting a child 'play on the exhibit like the other kids.... even after I pointed out: 1.) I had *just* gotten to the area and would have stopped everyone else earlier otherwise from playing on the BROKEN EQUIPMENT that had a SIGN and was BARRED OFF with caution tape 2.) If they *insisted* on teaching their child to ignore danger signs 'just because other people are doing it' that we can't be liable if the child gets hurt . We were a non-profit organization would couldn't employ the several hundred 'watchers' it would have taken to catch ALL the parents blatantly breaking into stuff. She got SUPER offended that I would suggest SHE did something wrong. Disgusting.
NTA. I am so SICK of people who decide to spit out children and not properly raise them. This is an example. The mother is doing a terrible, lazy job, and her son will grow up an entitled misery-causing a-hole because of it. You wonder why there's so many sh**bag men in the world? Mother's like these. Yes, i'm going to blame the mother. Stop treating your sons as gods and letting them get away with murder so you can get out of the child the love and affection your partner isn't giving you. (Trend I noticed, tell me i'm wrong)
That "mother" would get far more than the scolding her child got if she tried to pull that on me.
I had a similar thing happen many years ago and I wasn't so nice. I'm not advocating my reaction, because it was over the top, but the mother was afraid and quickly left the restaurant.
This circumstance aside, that kid is an accident waiting to happen - running around and doing gymnastics in a restaurant?! He could slip on a wet floor, hit his head on a table corner or divider, knock over a server carrying hot food, or get into any number of nightmare situations.
The mother is the problem... but be careful how hard you come down on the child. Some kids have serious ADHD, or FASD, and they literally can't calm down, or "think before they act". Doesn't matter how much you teach them, the brain just won't process that concept. BUT if you have a kid that is that challenged, you have a couple options (1) don't go to restaurants with them in the first place (2) put them on medication (3) put them into intensive therapy. But the option that is NOT acceptable is "just give up and let them do their thing"
Madam, that is your diamond. I'm glad you love your diamond. He is not my diamond. I think he is a pain in the a$$. Please do let me give you some advice. If your child is acting like a donkey, I will let your donkey know that is not acceptable behavior, since you will not. It takes a village.
I'd have reacted the same as I do for my dogs when they're getting into something; a loud "AAAAAAAGGGGG!" works. I'm sure the entire restaurant was tired of that kid's behaviour.
When this stuff happens you will always notice the parents oblivious to what is going on. This is because they are taking advantage of a little me time whilst their child inflicts on others what they have learnt at home. But as with many things now if you comment you get cancelled
The mother is a selfish moron. Letting your kid do that in a restaurant is a hazard to everyone. Customers and staff alike. If you want to parent like that, go eat in an open field where your hellspawn won't trip up someone carrying hot food or grandma on her walker.
From the headline I thought the child would be aged around 2 or 3, but at 9, he's just very badly educated
NTA. If you can't keep your crotch goblins well behaved in a sit down restaurant, then you are not ready to go anywhere but the McDonalds play place.
The comment above about the danger of a kid running around a restaurant is the best. It's completely objective and to the point.
When raising kids one should teach proper manners, mannerisms, and boundaries. Ya' can't be having the kiddo run around and grabbing at stranger's items. They could get hurt (trip or grab something not safe) or ruin someone's meal in addition to NTA.NTA ya probably did the kid a favor and taught them something their parent apparently failed to teach them. A stern tone deems good to show that the behavior is unacceptable and why it's not.
Yeah, you would think the mother would be more invested in a safe outcome, considering she would be responsible for any problems caused by her child.
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I remember a mom of a friend of mine back from the 80s/90s. Her son and another kid were sitting in the back of the church (a really small one but still a 40 person church) durning a service. They were being loud. And they were alone. The minister stopped the service and told them to ether go outside or sit there and be silent. The one mother stayed mad at the minister until her own dying day, from what I recall.
Forgot to add...Minneapolis has/had a restaurant called Psycho Susie's. Policy was: NO CHILDREN. Was one of the busiest places around!! Since pandemic not sure if they are back, but LOVED their policy!! No "ankle-biters" near the place. I remember when kids didn't go to restaurants when parents were going out. It was "adult-time-out" and you got a babysitter.
I see this more and more. Parents like this are NOT parents. We should have another name for them. My BIGGEST CONCERN is head lice. 2 seconds on their head and you got transfer. A lot of times I want to turn my foot into the aisle to act like I am getting up and trip the little ba@@@@d, but then I might get the venue in trouble and the vindictive, narcissist of an "egg factory" will try to sue because her ADHD offspring can't follow commands. If any were given.
As a retired teacher, when I see this sort of thing I always think about their poor teachers. Schools are full of children whose parents think they can do no wrong and that no one should correct their behavior, even their teachers. These kids threaten to tell their mother on you and get you fired. I never correct other people's children in public because I know the parents will react with hostility and aggression. I honestly wonder what is going to happen in a few years when we have a country full of young adults who have never been told no.
a 9/10 year old child should know how to sit down shut up and behave himself, both the parent and the child needed a spanking! the restaurant manager should of asked the parent to control her child or leave!
If you are in a family type restaurant, then yes, I would expect it to be a bit noisier then other types. As to running about, doing cart wheels, that can be a health and safety issue. Imagine if the child had bumped into someone carrying hot food. As for picking up someone's property the completely out of order and the child deserves every thing it gets. At nine years old, my parents took me to a very formal meal. Evening dress, bows for men and long dresses for women. I certainly knew at that age to sit still, which cutlery to use for which course. As very small children, we had been taught to sit still in cafes and even at home, we had to sit up to the table for meals and not to leave until everyone had finished eating. No, we weren't posh, lived in a terraced house, not very much money.
I used to be a server in a restaurant, and teh amount of times where the parents expected the servers to be the babysitter to their damn kids was too many to county. We had an upstairs, and theses kids were throwing sugar packets over the railing, salt and pepper, I finally took everything of the table before they started throwing the ketchup bottles!
I hate this writing across a line and hard to correct. Anyway, my mom's threat worked. Brat kid almost took out my eyes. She grew up to be a real loser.
Had a spoiled brat cousin and her mother didn't keep her nail cut. When she didn't get her way (age3) she would gouge my face with her nails. My mother showed my face to her and she said " Oh, C---l would never do that." Really? So, my mom waited until she tried it again and snatched her up, holding her at eye level and while smiling said " Do that again and I'll rip out your eyeballs."
When a child is old enough to know his name , he is old enough to understand NO.
Too bad we can't all find out what happens when the kid goes in to a store and puts one of their hats on his head and waltzes around and out the door with it. Maybe then Momma will pay attention because her kid is a fool in the making.
I get not everyone wants kids, buts what’s with the new trend of kid hating? There are a few articles here that are all about hating on kids. How about if you hate kids, keep it to yourself & remember where you came from. If the kid is a brat, hate on the parents. That’s where the problem is.
NTA, not in a million years. My wife and I didn't exactly "raise" our two kids to behave in public, we simply let them know we expected it of them. With this particular mom the best we can hope for is that the brat behaves that way at home.
9 or 10 is old enough to behave like a civilized human. My Dad would have knocked the kid , his Mom and anyone else that protested , upside the head.
Can people seriously not handle an encounter with another adult human? Something happens and you don't like it, you don't like it. How is anyone else the judge of that? Your body, our mind? Just say what you need to say, do what you need to do, and get on with your life. Why does anyone need to go online rattling a can and asking for people to drop a compliment in it after every unpleasant encounter with another human being? I don't think whether they are the arsehole is the question they need to ask as it's not entirely clear who is the adult in this situation. These people need to grow a f*****g spine. Anyone harmed? No? Person and belongings protected? Yes? Children educated? Yes? Asking the internet change any of that? This person needs a cuddle because they're traumatised for being in the position of having to discipline a child - with words? F**k me...
You know, I had an unfortunate situation several years ago. Eating in a nicer place, the kid in question (I'm gonna say about 8) was actually wearing something appropriate for an evening out. He kept racing up & down the aisle, while his "Barbie wannabe" Mom completely ignored him. I (kind of swear) this wasn't planned, but it worked out. I was leaning over to grab my purse from under the table, just as this little terror ran past and tripped over my foot - and ended up sprawled in the aisle. Me: "Oh, Sweetie I'm so sorry, are you okay?" The kid, kind of dazed: "Yeah, I think so". The Mom, looked over at her son & just continued her conversation: "So, anyway I was telling Debbie about this new Botox". I actually felt sorry for that kid. He just didn't know any better and his Mom obviously couldn't care less. I rather wish she'd gotten in my face.
If I had behaved like that when I was that age, my father would've spanked me SO hard I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week.
If a kid was putting his hand out to touch my things, I might feel inclined to reach out and touch him. At the very least he won't bother YOU again. And if mom bitches, tell her to keep him under control or you may touch him again.
Both The a—hole. There are gentler ways to speak to kids that isn’t a power trip. She should have scold the mother instead scaring the kid. The mother was an a—hole by enabling her boy to act that way at a pretty mature kid age. My 3 year old knows better than that! And if she acts out, I remove us from the situation to first calm her, then explain that it’s unpleasant for other people - that they see her and she’s making them ‘sad’ and ‘upset’ (remember shes 3, so simple emotion descriptors).
F**k that. If that c*** can't control her crotch goblin, be prepared for others to tell him off
I would be bothered by the kid just touching my things even if he didn't run off with it. It's a restaurant. He'd probably been eating, and now his hands are gross. Plus, a hat goes near the face. I wouldn't yell at a kid for just touching, but I would definitely be moving my things out of reach and trying to persuade them to leave me alone.
Mother is definitely the asshole in this scenario and her son is well on his way to asshole status as well. Parents really need to set boundaries for their crotch goblins.
I am really tired of seeing this kind of behavior go on and yet the owners of the restaurant, the managers of the stores, the managers of the museum or grocery store don't tell the parent to make their kids behave or leave. This month I have been in about 4 situations where kids are screaming at the top of their lungs, running around pulling things off shelves, banging into people, sliding around and playing on the floor as people try to do their shopping. It's not so much the kids that aren't acting right; it's the parents who have no clue how to parent and what's acceptable in public places.
Parents aren't teaching their kids to respect other people's property. I was at a party where some stupid mother brought her brat (it was an adult's only party). The kid then proceeded to open and slam every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen. The hostess was clearly not happy. The mombie just laughed and said, "He's so curious" instead of telling the brat to knock it off.
absolutely would have done the same and read mom for filth for approaching me.
The thing is. Why bother the rest of us with this s**t? If we alle wrote.something on BP every time our boss was an asshole, the Karen in the Supermarket behavde like a Karen etc. it would be nothing but stuff like that. I could ignore it yes, I just think theres more and more of these AITA stories on BP.
Quick clarification: technically speaking, this is not people writing to BP. These stories are shared on reddit, and BP picks some of them, and publish them by adding some pictures and compiling some of the commentsseen on reddit.
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If the stranger's kid was 4 or under, I would think "he's just a kid" and say, "May I have it back please," but if he didn't give it back right away, I would let him play with it. Toddlers will do that and I don't mind. I like waving at them and asking how old they are and all that. Ages 5+, I would teach/scold with increasing severity proportional to the age. I really hope this kid wasn't actually 9-10. That's way too old to do something like this.
NTA. Unfortunately there are many people who weren't supposed to have had kids, they led their children to believe kids can do anything without consequences. In my days back in the 90s I was told to wait in the car (not alone with my nanny and our driver without getting any food or allowed to leave the car until the adults finish eating. Worst was when they sent me home for misbehaving. I was so embarrassed and learned to behave and actually proud for being able to dine out with my parents and other adults!!
NTA but you had unreasonable expectations. You expected the mother, who was already exhibiting poor parenting, to behave like a decent parent and apologize. Instead, she was rude, just like her kid. Next time, just repeat in a calm voice “It is extremely rude to to take things without asking, make sure your son doesn’t do it again.” Then return to your meal and ignore anything else she says. Of course she is going to be upset and blameshift, it’s her nature.
Based on the description of his actions, this was not a 9 or 10 year old child. Perhaps a 5-7 year old. Regardless, what a s**t!
Why is it precised "annoying" about a child ? Seriously, in this case, I usually avoid any interaction with the child and go directly talk to the parent.
Because the kid was annoying. Hope that clears that up.
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She didn't say she yelled. She said 'spoke sharply'.
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I know a few kids who are "raised" like that. When a family friends who'd had enough of this kind of behaviour spoke to one of them in a scolding way, the kid burst into tears, because he wasn't used to be told no at home. It was a genuinely shocked reaction from this child. So I think it is absolutely worth it to scold misbehaving stranger's children, like the person in this post did. It's the only "parenting" they are likely to receive and will help them develop normally despite their neglectful parents.
Or A-hat mom will openly enable her son's behavior by talking bad about the poster. I can just hear her in my head "oh sweetie, that mean person was crazy. You are an absolute angel who can do no harm....blah blah blah" and effectively render her offspring useless to society.
Load More Replies... Ahole in this scenario is the mother who is too lazy and selfish to parent. Running around a restaurant and taking other people's things at 10 isn't "being a kid", it's a kid who has never been taught how to behave in a restaurant, telling him off was doing him a favour at that point
I've had to do the same thing. A kid on the train kept trying to use my laptop even I was working. The mum was useless - said something like "I don't think the grumpy man wants you to play on his laptop".
Had something very similar.... the mum said 'there's someone who doesn't like kids'. 🙄 Not true at all. I'd started feeling unwell at work to make things worse. People shouldn't assume that everyone feels perfectly okay - some of us hurt all the time or might be unwell. Teach children some boundaries.
Load More Replies... 2 words: Head Lice! A kid should never put on a stranger's hat, or anyone's hat, only their own. Why is no one talking about this? It's a huge health issue to share hats. I had head lice once as a kid. It's no fun. F-u-c-k that mom.
I'll probably get downvoted but from my experience I will tell you from where the new parents get this attitude! From psychologists! I have plenty of examples from my environment where my friends with kids are being advised by psychologists not to shout at their kids! Yes yelling is not okay, yes hitting them is not okay and all these should be in the past but the new advises don't mean not to have any boundaries! Every time i hear a new advise from my friends psychologist or something they read on a new book I'm appalled and realise why kids have no boundaries!!! I really think that these people advising for sure have no kids or haven't had any encounter with kids ever! This will not lead to mentally healthier kids but to kids that cannot function in public
The past advice I was ever given when I was pregnant with my oldest was to avoid books on how to be parent. I did check one out from the library once just to see and as soon as I saw the recommendation to ignore bad behavior I understood my dad's advice. What you're saying is completely true and reminds of the idiotic idea to not keep score at sporting events for young children. We don't always win and teaching children otherwise and giving them a false since of accomplishment has done our society no favors.
Load More Replies... Was sitting in the window alcove of a restaurant watching some kid running around the tables. When I saw he was going to try to run around our table, I shot my leg out, braced it on the wall next to me and blocked his path. Looked him in the eye and said, i my best imitation of my mother, "Do. Not." :D
At a playground another boy went for my nephew once - they were similar ages, about 8. I said 'Don't Even Think It' in freezing tones. Child backed off instantly. No need to raise your voice, just sound like you are very serious and will take no sh!t whatsoever. My nephew was thrilled with me!
Load More Replies... I've encountered this type of situation several times and if/when the parent gets mad at me for their lack of parenting I tell them "since you won't discipline your child then I'll happily do it for you" and that shuts them down.
A big fat NTA. That kid needed someone to say something and coz his family couldn't give two shits, it was up to a stranger. The only AH are the people condoning his poor behaviour.
The sweetest little girl came towards me while standing in a queue with one of my yorkies (my Luna was sitting very calmly right next to me, with a leash, btw), she asked if she could "talk" to my dog, and before I could even reply, she kicked her right between the eyes and ran to her mother. I began to scream, and fell to the floor trying to see if my Luna was ok (she was, I had somehow managed to pull her back instinctively with the leash), but she was wailing in a panic. I really wanted to say a few things to the mother who was just watching petrified, but I was so shaken I just ran out with my yorkie in my arms and went straight to the vet to check her eyes. I hope she sought professional help for her daughter.
I would have made a detour to hurt that kid and then gone to the vet.
Load More Replies... Mother has literally ZERO right to even talk to you, let alone rebuke you. If the kid is TEN(ish) years old, he should know better. My cousin's 4 year old has known this for over a year.
A major, basic thing that should be taught to children at a young age: MANNERS. Jesus, I sound old. But I stand by my comment.
I once knocked two fingers on the hand of a child who reached into my plate in the restaurant and took a handful of fries. It probably hurt a little, but the shock was bigger. His father then stormed over, furious, but backed down when I explained what his son had been up to.
Ten year old adolescents should know better. Parents need to teach their children that different spaces require different behaviours. If the youngster attends school he will DEFINITELY know how to modulate his behaviour... the parent is an enabler. The woman had every right to tell him to keep his mitts off her stuff and her response was appropriate. It's the child's parent who should be embarrassed.
NTA... and I would say that not only is the mother the A, but so is the restaurant (and any other establishment) that does not have, nor enforce an unruly kids policy. It is extraordinarily shortsighted to allow customers to do this sort of thing.
No, he's not the ahole, and shouldn't have had to become involved. The parents should have made sure that their child was behaved in public. Thinking back, remember there used to be brochures in wireless stores, particularly ones that showed the different plans? We're going back to 2010 and earlier. Why are they no longer available? Because more and more kids would run around throwing them (also, yanking products off the wall) and parents would do nothing. They were taken out of one company's stores directly because of that. And that came from a regional director of Marketing.
Worked in retail for years. The number of parents that drop the kids off in the toy isle while they shop is pathetic. The parents think nothing of the kids completely destroying packaging and emptying shelves. Would the parents go to the electronics counter, rip open all the packaging,.try it then throw it to the floor.
Load More Replies... I have turned my full teacher look on kids in public many times. Rarely have to say anything, but I've done that, too.
Definitely NTA, that mother should have taught her child how to behave in a restaurant and to respect other people's things. The mother could have avoided the whole situation if she actually stepped up and parented her child. I can't stand parents who let their children run amok and do nothing to stop it, then get mad when someone else puts a stop to it.
Defo NTA. We are teaching my son that he cannot just take things from other people or touch their stuff.
And you usually teach them that when they are, like, 3, and not 10.
Load More Replies... I don't know who needs to hear this but.... CHILDREN DONT GET A FREE PASS TO BE LITTLE ENTITLED DICKHEADS JUST BECAUSE THEYRE CHILDREN! this idea that "he's just a kid" is an acceptable excuse for your child not having basic manners needs to go away. If this were me I'd fucken snap on that woman. Also, you're not special because you have kids. You're not more important because you have kids. You don't get special privileges because you have kids. If I acted like that child in a restaurant you know that woman would complain... so why the F**k is it okay for a kid to act like an annoying little ass? It's not. Control your little demons or don't leave the house. But most of all... stop acting like everyone else needs to put up with your kids bullshit just because you put up with their bullshit... teach your kid how to be civil n well mannered or don't bring them in public.
Lazy piece of *** mother. Encountered these when I worked at a tourist attraction-type place... would get routinely reamed out for not letting a child 'play on the exhibit like the other kids.... even after I pointed out: 1.) I had *just* gotten to the area and would have stopped everyone else earlier otherwise from playing on the BROKEN EQUIPMENT that had a SIGN and was BARRED OFF with caution tape 2.) If they *insisted* on teaching their child to ignore danger signs 'just because other people are doing it' that we can't be liable if the child gets hurt . We were a non-profit organization would couldn't employ the several hundred 'watchers' it would have taken to catch ALL the parents blatantly breaking into stuff. She got SUPER offended that I would suggest SHE did something wrong. Disgusting.
NTA. I am so SICK of people who decide to spit out children and not properly raise them. This is an example. The mother is doing a terrible, lazy job, and her son will grow up an entitled misery-causing a-hole because of it. You wonder why there's so many sh**bag men in the world? Mother's like these. Yes, i'm going to blame the mother. Stop treating your sons as gods and letting them get away with murder so you can get out of the child the love and affection your partner isn't giving you. (Trend I noticed, tell me i'm wrong)
That "mother" would get far more than the scolding her child got if she tried to pull that on me.
I had a similar thing happen many years ago and I wasn't so nice. I'm not advocating my reaction, because it was over the top, but the mother was afraid and quickly left the restaurant.
This circumstance aside, that kid is an accident waiting to happen - running around and doing gymnastics in a restaurant?! He could slip on a wet floor, hit his head on a table corner or divider, knock over a server carrying hot food, or get into any number of nightmare situations.
The mother is the problem... but be careful how hard you come down on the child. Some kids have serious ADHD, or FASD, and they literally can't calm down, or "think before they act". Doesn't matter how much you teach them, the brain just won't process that concept. BUT if you have a kid that is that challenged, you have a couple options (1) don't go to restaurants with them in the first place (2) put them on medication (3) put them into intensive therapy. But the option that is NOT acceptable is "just give up and let them do their thing"
Madam, that is your diamond. I'm glad you love your diamond. He is not my diamond. I think he is a pain in the a$$. Please do let me give you some advice. If your child is acting like a donkey, I will let your donkey know that is not acceptable behavior, since you will not. It takes a village.
I'd have reacted the same as I do for my dogs when they're getting into something; a loud "AAAAAAAGGGGG!" works. I'm sure the entire restaurant was tired of that kid's behaviour.
When this stuff happens you will always notice the parents oblivious to what is going on. This is because they are taking advantage of a little me time whilst their child inflicts on others what they have learnt at home. But as with many things now if you comment you get cancelled
The mother is a selfish moron. Letting your kid do that in a restaurant is a hazard to everyone. Customers and staff alike. If you want to parent like that, go eat in an open field where your hellspawn won't trip up someone carrying hot food or grandma on her walker.
From the headline I thought the child would be aged around 2 or 3, but at 9, he's just very badly educated
NTA. If you can't keep your crotch goblins well behaved in a sit down restaurant, then you are not ready to go anywhere but the McDonalds play place.
The comment above about the danger of a kid running around a restaurant is the best. It's completely objective and to the point.
When raising kids one should teach proper manners, mannerisms, and boundaries. Ya' can't be having the kiddo run around and grabbing at stranger's items. They could get hurt (trip or grab something not safe) or ruin someone's meal in addition to NTA.NTA ya probably did the kid a favor and taught them something their parent apparently failed to teach them. A stern tone deems good to show that the behavior is unacceptable and why it's not.
Yeah, you would think the mother would be more invested in a safe outcome, considering she would be responsible for any problems caused by her child.
Load More Replies... I remember a mom of a friend of mine back from the 80s/90s. Her son and another kid were sitting in the back of the church (a really small one but still a 40 person church) durning a service. They were being loud. And they were alone. The minister stopped the service and told them to ether go outside or sit there and be silent. The one mother stayed mad at the minister until her own dying day, from what I recall.
Forgot to add...Minneapolis has/had a restaurant called Psycho Susie's. Policy was: NO CHILDREN. Was one of the busiest places around!! Since pandemic not sure if they are back, but LOVED their policy!! No "ankle-biters" near the place. I remember when kids didn't go to restaurants when parents were going out. It was "adult-time-out" and you got a babysitter.
I see this more and more. Parents like this are NOT parents. We should have another name for them. My BIGGEST CONCERN is head lice. 2 seconds on their head and you got transfer. A lot of times I want to turn my foot into the aisle to act like I am getting up and trip the little ba@@@@d, but then I might get the venue in trouble and the vindictive, narcissist of an "egg factory" will try to sue because her ADHD offspring can't follow commands. If any were given.
As a retired teacher, when I see this sort of thing I always think about their poor teachers. Schools are full of children whose parents think they can do no wrong and that no one should correct their behavior, even their teachers. These kids threaten to tell their mother on you and get you fired. I never correct other people's children in public because I know the parents will react with hostility and aggression. I honestly wonder what is going to happen in a few years when we have a country full of young adults who have never been told no.
a 9/10 year old child should know how to sit down shut up and behave himself, both the parent and the child needed a spanking! the restaurant manager should of asked the parent to control her child or leave!
If you are in a family type restaurant, then yes, I would expect it to be a bit noisier then other types. As to running about, doing cart wheels, that can be a health and safety issue. Imagine if the child had bumped into someone carrying hot food. As for picking up someone's property the completely out of order and the child deserves every thing it gets. At nine years old, my parents took me to a very formal meal. Evening dress, bows for men and long dresses for women. I certainly knew at that age to sit still, which cutlery to use for which course. As very small children, we had been taught to sit still in cafes and even at home, we had to sit up to the table for meals and not to leave until everyone had finished eating. No, we weren't posh, lived in a terraced house, not very much money.
I used to be a server in a restaurant, and teh amount of times where the parents expected the servers to be the babysitter to their damn kids was too many to county. We had an upstairs, and theses kids were throwing sugar packets over the railing, salt and pepper, I finally took everything of the table before they started throwing the ketchup bottles!
I hate this writing across a line and hard to correct. Anyway, my mom's threat worked. Brat kid almost took out my eyes. She grew up to be a real loser.
Had a spoiled brat cousin and her mother didn't keep her nail cut. When she didn't get her way (age3) she would gouge my face with her nails. My mother showed my face to her and she said " Oh, C---l would never do that." Really? So, my mom waited until she tried it again and snatched her up, holding her at eye level and while smiling said " Do that again and I'll rip out your eyeballs."
When a child is old enough to know his name , he is old enough to understand NO.
Too bad we can't all find out what happens when the kid goes in to a store and puts one of their hats on his head and waltzes around and out the door with it. Maybe then Momma will pay attention because her kid is a fool in the making.
I get not everyone wants kids, buts what’s with the new trend of kid hating? There are a few articles here that are all about hating on kids. How about if you hate kids, keep it to yourself & remember where you came from. If the kid is a brat, hate on the parents. That’s where the problem is.
NTA, not in a million years. My wife and I didn't exactly "raise" our two kids to behave in public, we simply let them know we expected it of them. With this particular mom the best we can hope for is that the brat behaves that way at home.
9 or 10 is old enough to behave like a civilized human. My Dad would have knocked the kid , his Mom and anyone else that protested , upside the head.
Can people seriously not handle an encounter with another adult human? Something happens and you don't like it, you don't like it. How is anyone else the judge of that? Your body, our mind? Just say what you need to say, do what you need to do, and get on with your life. Why does anyone need to go online rattling a can and asking for people to drop a compliment in it after every unpleasant encounter with another human being? I don't think whether they are the arsehole is the question they need to ask as it's not entirely clear who is the adult in this situation. These people need to grow a f*****g spine. Anyone harmed? No? Person and belongings protected? Yes? Children educated? Yes? Asking the internet change any of that? This person needs a cuddle because they're traumatised for being in the position of having to discipline a child - with words? F**k me...
You know, I had an unfortunate situation several years ago. Eating in a nicer place, the kid in question (I'm gonna say about 8) was actually wearing something appropriate for an evening out. He kept racing up & down the aisle, while his "Barbie wannabe" Mom completely ignored him. I (kind of swear) this wasn't planned, but it worked out. I was leaning over to grab my purse from under the table, just as this little terror ran past and tripped over my foot - and ended up sprawled in the aisle. Me: "Oh, Sweetie I'm so sorry, are you okay?" The kid, kind of dazed: "Yeah, I think so". The Mom, looked over at her son & just continued her conversation: "So, anyway I was telling Debbie about this new Botox". I actually felt sorry for that kid. He just didn't know any better and his Mom obviously couldn't care less. I rather wish she'd gotten in my face.
If I had behaved like that when I was that age, my father would've spanked me SO hard I wouldn't have been able to sit down for a week.
If a kid was putting his hand out to touch my things, I might feel inclined to reach out and touch him. At the very least he won't bother YOU again. And if mom bitches, tell her to keep him under control or you may touch him again.
Both The a—hole. There are gentler ways to speak to kids that isn’t a power trip. She should have scold the mother instead scaring the kid. The mother was an a—hole by enabling her boy to act that way at a pretty mature kid age. My 3 year old knows better than that! And if she acts out, I remove us from the situation to first calm her, then explain that it’s unpleasant for other people - that they see her and she’s making them ‘sad’ and ‘upset’ (remember shes 3, so simple emotion descriptors).
F**k that. If that c*** can't control her crotch goblin, be prepared for others to tell him off
I would be bothered by the kid just touching my things even if he didn't run off with it. It's a restaurant. He'd probably been eating, and now his hands are gross. Plus, a hat goes near the face. I wouldn't yell at a kid for just touching, but I would definitely be moving my things out of reach and trying to persuade them to leave me alone.
Mother is definitely the asshole in this scenario and her son is well on his way to asshole status as well. Parents really need to set boundaries for their crotch goblins.
I am really tired of seeing this kind of behavior go on and yet the owners of the restaurant, the managers of the stores, the managers of the museum or grocery store don't tell the parent to make their kids behave or leave. This month I have been in about 4 situations where kids are screaming at the top of their lungs, running around pulling things off shelves, banging into people, sliding around and playing on the floor as people try to do their shopping. It's not so much the kids that aren't acting right; it's the parents who have no clue how to parent and what's acceptable in public places.
Parents aren't teaching their kids to respect other people's property. I was at a party where some stupid mother brought her brat (it was an adult's only party). The kid then proceeded to open and slam every drawer and cabinet in the kitchen. The hostess was clearly not happy. The mombie just laughed and said, "He's so curious" instead of telling the brat to knock it off.
absolutely would have done the same and read mom for filth for approaching me.
The thing is. Why bother the rest of us with this s**t? If we alle wrote.something on BP every time our boss was an asshole, the Karen in the Supermarket behavde like a Karen etc. it would be nothing but stuff like that. I could ignore it yes, I just think theres more and more of these AITA stories on BP.
Quick clarification: technically speaking, this is not people writing to BP. These stories are shared on reddit, and BP picks some of them, and publish them by adding some pictures and compiling some of the commentsseen on reddit.
Load More Replies... If the stranger's kid was 4 or under, I would think "he's just a kid" and say, "May I have it back please," but if he didn't give it back right away, I would let him play with it. Toddlers will do that and I don't mind. I like waving at them and asking how old they are and all that. Ages 5+, I would teach/scold with increasing severity proportional to the age. I really hope this kid wasn't actually 9-10. That's way too old to do something like this.
NTA. Unfortunately there are many people who weren't supposed to have had kids, they led their children to believe kids can do anything without consequences. In my days back in the 90s I was told to wait in the car (not alone with my nanny and our driver without getting any food or allowed to leave the car until the adults finish eating. Worst was when they sent me home for misbehaving. I was so embarrassed and learned to behave and actually proud for being able to dine out with my parents and other adults!!
NTA but you had unreasonable expectations. You expected the mother, who was already exhibiting poor parenting, to behave like a decent parent and apologize. Instead, she was rude, just like her kid. Next time, just repeat in a calm voice “It is extremely rude to to take things without asking, make sure your son doesn’t do it again.” Then return to your meal and ignore anything else she says. Of course she is going to be upset and blameshift, it’s her nature.
Based on the description of his actions, this was not a 9 or 10 year old child. Perhaps a 5-7 year old. Regardless, what a s**t!
Why is it precised "annoying" about a child ? Seriously, in this case, I usually avoid any interaction with the child and go directly talk to the parent.
Because the kid was annoying. Hope that clears that up.
Load More Replies... She didn't say she yelled. She said 'spoke sharply'.
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