Dad Finds Out His Son’s School Was Giving Him Antidepressants For Months Without Ever Telling Him
In recent years, the legislation of many countries has been steadily moving towards maximum protection of the rights of children, including health care. In some cases, children, and more specifically, teenagers, are given the right to seek help even without any parental consent. For example, if a child suffers from some mental disorder, and their family is against them taking any drugs.
On the one hand, this is an absolute advantage, because if a child lives in an unhealthy family with abusive tendencies, this can really help them and prevent worse outcomes. On the other hand, if everything is fine in the family, but the parents were not informed properly, problems may also arise.
For example, Eli Holt from the State of Washington recently faced a situation in which his 15-year-old son took antidepressants for an entire semester without anyone telling his father. Holt expressed his outrage at the school rules in a video on TikTok, which immediately went viral, gaining about 270K views and about 4.2K various comments.
More info: TikTok
The school counselor reached out to the Original Poster and told him that his son did not pick up his antidepressants at the end of the school year
Image credits: SOMANEDU
It all started when Holt received a phone call from his son’s school counselor who told him that the boy did not pick up his antidepressants at the end of the school year. To say that the dad was surprised would be an understatement. Eli demanded an explanation from the school employees – and this is what he found out.
Image credits: @mr.notnew
A few months ago, the OP’s son was prescribed antidepressants by the school psychiatrist
It turns out that a few months ago, the school psychiatrist examined his son and concluded that the teenager needed a course of antidepressants. As a result, the boy was on drugs for several months, confident that his father knew about it. But no one told Eli!
Image credits: @mr.notnew
There are several reasons, according to the OP, why he should have been informed
First, the father is sure that his son does not have any depressive disorders. Secondly, a situation could happen if, for example, Eli, not knowing about the drugs, could offer his son maybe a glass of wine – and then something really bad could happen.
Image credits: @mr.notnew
Thirdly, the boy could have been prescribed medication for some other illness, without knowing about antidepressants, and an allergic reaction could have also happened.
Image credits: Anders Sandberg
Under state law, school doctors have the right to prescribe antidepressants even without informing the parents
Finally, Eli found that under Washington state law, school doctors do have the right to prescribe antidepressants to children if the child has a dysfunctional family with unhealthy relationships. “But we’re fine with that,” Holt says indignantly. “Then why wasn’t I informed?”
Image credits: @mr.notnew
In any case, Eli notes that this is his child, and above all, the parents are responsible for him. “It’s not their kid to give a prescription to,” he says. “And I wholeheartedly believe that they should’ve told me.”
Image credits: @mr.notnew
The state of Washington has poor statewise data as to the average rates of mental illnesses and access to medical services
In fact, as per the MHA annual data, Washington State ranks in the mid-forties out of all states in terms of average rates of mental illnesses and access to medical services, which is quite low and definitely needs to be improved. Perhaps that is why state law provides for similar measures that Eli Holt and his son had to face.
Image credits: @mr.notnew
@mr.notnew #Washington #school #roevwade ♬ original sound – Eli Holt
Commenters’ opinions regarding this situation were divided
As for the commenters on the video, their opinions were divided. There were, of course, those who supported the Original Poster, outraged by the decision of the school administration. Indeed, if the boy had been prescribed any other medicines, it could have ended badly for his health. And, of course, the responsibility for the children, even if they’re almost adult, is borne, first of all, by their parents.
On the other hand, many people in the comments acknowledged that such a decision at the state level does make sense. For example, such treatment helped the niece of one of the commenters, whose parents refused to believe that she was suffering from a depressive disorder. Of course, one can understand the OP’s concern, but this rule has really helped a lot of kids.
As always, we highly welcome your comments on this situation, so feel free to write what you think. Or maybe, who knows, you have an equally interesting story?
Mental health treatment must be available to everyone. I had two friends in high school who wanted and needed help, but could not talk to their parents about it. They both self-harmed, eventually one ended up in the hospital, barely surviving a suicide attempt, and other a few years later nearly died from complications with bulemia. This was all because their parents would have been informed of meds. If your child is in so much pain they are trying medication, don't add to their stress by trying to get involved. They will involve you when they are able to. But if seeking help means parents will be informed, Teena won't seek it. Doctor patient confidentiality exists so treatment can be as easily accessed as possible. If you were really supportive of your child, you woukdnt be freaking out about this, you would be grateful professionals were available. The alternative is often risk seeking or harmful behaviour. Be glad your child was responsible enough to get support.
I was in HS in the 90s/2000s, a lot of us campaigned to get the right to care that your child is enjoying because it's hard to be the entire support system when you are a teen yourself. I stayed up a lot of nights, talking my friends down from suicide. It shouldnt have been in me, these laws mean it wouldn't have to be.
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Yeah, agreed. Otherwise why would the kid not have brought it up for months? There's got to be a reason they didn't say anything, and the "I thought they told you" is a cover-up the kiddo used to not get in trouble.
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Here’s a very HUGE RED FLAG: “…he’s not depressed.” - depression doesn’t always present itself outwardly. Either the father had him evaluated or not. Seems not. Or maybe the father doesn’t believe in the meds or the diagnosis. Regardless, an actual psychiatrist and the 15yo think he is indeed depressed. So why doesn’t the father? Why did the son pick up the meds and, assumingely, take them for so long without telling the father? Kids have medical autonomy from their parents at 12/13. This 15yo sought out help, got help, then hid the treatment from his dad. Could you imagine how horrible if he didn’t have this access?
And now the poor kid is probably going without meds for the summer and did it in hopes his dad wouldn't find out. Sounds like hell and all the strength to him
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Ohhhh wow... ok this seems so OFF to me. I would absolutely lose my S**T if this was one of my kids. However, there seems to be more going on here and we don't know the full situation. Was the mother made aware and able to provide medical history? Is there an issue with his relationship with the child? Something is obviously off.
In Washington where this guy is located, schools can give prescriptions to children over 13 without parental consent, if the issue relates to mental health.
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By making this video this father has just outed his kid as being on anti-depressants to anybody he knows who sees it. And his friends and classmates will see it. He shouldn't be sharing his kid's private medical information on social media. The kid has a right to privacy. This is between him, the school, and his kid, not half the world.
Exactly this. Then he wonders why his kid can’t tell him how he feels. Seems like that poor child has “oh, you’re hurting inside, let’s make a til tok” type parents. No wonder the wee soul needs antidepressants 💔🤷♀️
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Ok, I'm a mental health provider in the state of Washington. There is literally no such thing as a "school psychiatrist" (prescriber) to my knowledge. The child (over the age of 13) can get mental health care without parental consent. It is up to the child if they disclose any information to the parent. The school calling dad were actually, legally, the ones in the wrong. It's a controversial law but it is the law.
If I were that kid I would feel the school had betrayed me. Also, as far as the father's concern about interactions, pharmacies have access to this information even if it is not the one the family typically uses and the child would have been told not to mix it with..
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Considering OP's response to finding out son was on anti-depressants was to share this sensitive information about his teenage son's mental health with the *entire internet*, maybe the son was choosing to protect his own privacy? By the time he goes back to school, everyone in the school will know he's on antidepressants. Maybe they'll be supportive, but frankly, a lot of teenagers are assholes, and there could be bullying and harassment. I'm more concerned whether the school broke confidentiality by telling loud-mouth Dad than that they didn't tell him.
hmmm. "my kid is not depressed" is maybe not place number 1 to stop at if a psychiatrist says they are? you know, a person with training and a degree? get a second opinion or whatever but it sounds like this is more about the dad not wanting a depressed kid. All medication carries risks, and antidepressants are among those, but there's a reason this kid didn't bring it up and presumably did continue taking them. 15 year olds are absolutely entitled to medical privacy if they don't feel safe bringing a parent in.
Soooo... The kid thinks they need antidepressants. The school counselor thinks kid needs antidepressants. A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIST thinks kid needs antidepressants. Kid doesn't feel comfortable to tell the father FOR MONTHS. Father: "My child isn't depressed! He doesn't need antidepressants!!!" Gee, father of the year, I wonder why none of the people involved chose to tell you. And the law says that a child can get them without parental consent if "the child has a dysfunctional family with unhealthy relationships". But please, don't let me stop you - explain some more how you are the victim.
The age of consent for mental health treatment without parental consent is 13 years of age. Just like consenting to sex, in Washington state you can also consent to treat your own depression. If the parents won't let him see a provider, the child has every right to do it on their own.
I'm glad the kid could get what he needed from somewhere. Teenagers are learning to be independent and take care of themselves. They should be guided to do that by being treated more and more like a responsible person. The most worthless 20 something's are the ones who never had to do anything for themselves and have never made a single decision before. That aside, the kid is old enough to know he needs help and that dad is not going to provide it. Maybe talk to your kid instead of ranting about it on social media and announcing his personal business to the world. It isn't about you, dad.
If anything I'm more worried that the school violated the kids privacy by telling dad about the medication. The fact he immediately goes on social media so that everyone who knows the family will know the kids personal medical business is a huge red flag for me. That kid is in therapy for a reason.
A child who is able to give consent should not have to ask parents for their permission to get mental health support. If the child felt comfortable asking his parents for such support, he would have done it. This happens in the UK too. There is not a specific age, but teenagers can visit their GP without their parents' permission. If your child is accessing mental health support without your permission, maybe ask why this is.
There has to be something dad isn't seeing...because the school may not have told him, but his son said nothing as well. I am not condoning what the school has done but schools are supposed to be a safespace where he can express his feelings without repercussions and he accepted the help. He also said something about medical history, when an IEP is signed there is a medical release signed by the parent so the school can access his records to avoid allergies and medical contradictions. Also this information is shared with the childs pediatrician so that they are aware of the new medication. I seen first hand where children were afraid to ask their parent for help and I've seen where said parents thought this cry for help was a reflection of their parenting and took it poorly, I was one of them. Some don't realize that a childs world revolves around more than them. Finally going on TikTok (where his friends can see) and complaining about it isn't helping this issue either.....
this is probably what the son wanted to avoid by talking to school officials instead of his father. The school may not have notified you, but they also didn't hugely publicize on social media your sons medical issues. I know the internet is large but where you live it will be seen and I'm sure some a*s of a kid will say something to him.
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I grew up with overprotective parents, who at times neglected my health by not getting me the appropriate treatment. Instead they took me to holistic doctors. I do think holistic doctors have their place, but in this case it did not work. I was almost completely deaf from the age of 14 to 19, when all I needed was a simple surgery: insertion of tubes to drain fluid from my ears. I did get the surgery as an adult. I can perfectly understand the rational behind this law, because not every parent is receptive to mental health treatment. In fact there are many fallacies about drug treatment and I see them expressed here on this page. The only problem I see is that I believe that there should also be routine counseling made available as well. Support is just as important as medical treatment.
Wow, just wow…between dads denial of his kids mental health needs, the weird, inappropriate comment about giving a 15 year old wine AND adding a roe vs wade hash tag… This is probably about dads feelings being hurt, not true 100% concern for his child. Not seeing any mention of mom so I can’t help but wonder if they’re separated and mom knew but didn’t tell dad because she knew what his reaction would be…she may have even asked the school not to tell him. That said, I can see issue with giving kids meds without parent knowledge - their family doctor could put them on something that interacts, and since so many antidepressants can cause suicidal ideation in teens parents should know so they can keep an eye on their reaction. I hope this child is able to get the help he needs.
Even if there was a problem in the home, the parents should still be informed and, first and foremost the proper authorities should be alerted and not just giving a child pills blindly like that. It's unsettling to know that parents aren't always in complete control over their child and every decision to be made for their child. My daughter was also in IEP, diagnosed with a GDD and had out of school and in-school speech therapy, I was involved in the supports and programs, went to meetings. It was a shock to me when a man showed up to one and then I was told this man was meeting my daughter a few times, and that he was another speech/development specialist who was taking my daughter in a separate room, alone. That raised some alarm bells. Parents are always treated like we're doing everything wrong and not enough.
Definitely think the dad is the problem here and the son didn’t tell him for a reason. The school effed up in calling him though
My daughter publicly thanks my husband and I every time she accomplishes a milestone for our support if her and her decisions. At least part of that is thanks for getting her help for her anxiety. So many of her friends could be doing so much better in life if their parents had not had the attitude that mental health treatment was something to be avoided at all costs.
In Canada, the age of medical consent is 14 and can be lower if the child is capable of giving informed consent. Similar in other jurisdictions. So if you are over 14, you have the right to doctor-patient confidentiality unless the you give direct consent to have information shared with your parents. The problem isn’t that the school withheld it from the dad, the problem is the school called the dad about the kid’s medication but they should have only talked to the kid.. The dad doesn’t have a leg to stand on with his complaints.
I will say that a 15 year old kid is old enough to know their own medical history, especially things like a heart murmur or things that certain medications could make worse. I agree that the school not telling the parents is messed up, but they also figure the kid is responsible enough to make decisions like that.
Not needing parental consent is one thing and can certainly be understood. What I wonder about, however, is whether their school doctor has access to the kid's medical history and whether his regular MD gets informed in case they need to prescribe him something as well. I just feel weird a school doctor can do this, not that parental consent isn't needed if this was at his regular MD.
I work for a school based health clinic, let me set some things straight. First, age of consent is 15 in Oregon, where I work. That means a 15 year old can consent to medical and mental health care. The age of consent is any age for reproductive health. Second, if a patient gets prescribed any mental health medication, it is after a long process of reviewing patient medical and social history, and after seeing a therapist. Third, a lot of time when kids are prescribed these without parent knowledge and consent, it is because they don't feel comfortable with their parents being involved or knowing. They don't feel like they can discuss tgis stuff with them. Trust me, we make every attempt to discuss it with parents and get their permission, but in the end, our job os to provide the best care for our patient. I guarantee this guys kid did not feel comfortable with his involvement. And honestly, his reaction says a LOT.
Not buying this one at all....no school is going to employ a "school psychiatrist", they are MD's and a school isn't going to be able to afford to pay that kind of salary/insurance. There's a black box warning on antidepressant therapy and children/young adults. He would need to be monitored for changes in his behavior or suicidal ideations. There's NO way that doctor would take the risk of not telling his legal guardian because if something were to happen to that child the doctor would be fully accountable. That would be the end of their medical license and career.
In 9th grade I went to my school counselor to share the abuse from my stepfather. Know what happened? He called my stepfather. I can, with certainty, tell you it didn't help the situation and made it much worse. Additionally, it kept me from seeking needed counseling as an adult for entirely too long.
I had a similar experience. For quick context, mom is toxic, overprotective, emotionally abusive to the point where me and my siblings can’t cry in front of her or we get grounded. 7th grade I was sent to the counsellor because school was positive something was wrong. Turns out I had anxiety. I trusted my counsellor but she emailed my parents everything I said. Every time I had meetings with her after that I was tense AF in fear she’d email my parents again. I’m sorry you also went through that. Breaking patient confidentiality is horrible and it at least made me not want a therapist in fear of that. :(
Load More Replies... It's interesting the article acts like this is so dangerous and assumes the medical professionals didn't get consent to talk to kiddos pediatrician about any other medications. I can't imagine any medical provider wouldn't specifically ask for consent to talk to the kids pediatrician and wouldn't be cautious about prescribing in the first place. Plus, the prescriber working with teens would, presumably, be trained to ask kiddo about drugs including alcohol and about supplements that might make the prescription contraindicated. I find this dad suspect and feel like there is definitely a lot that's missing in his telling of the story.
By Eli's own admission "doctors do have the right to prescribe antidepressants to children if the child has a dysfunctional family with unhealthy relationships."
Without reading... Let me guess the country. It's US of Amurica, right?
The US isn't the only country that has laws like this.
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MF looks like he gives his kid healing crystals and a dose of cbd oil for breakfast. Wouldn't trust a single word from him, also I bet he's probably trying to start a scaremongering campaing.
The dad looks like if Mark Zuckerberg started his brain chip program to grow a beard
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Kids are made to buy their own school supplies and I'm suppose to believe schools are purchasing meds? Nope. This a joint custody and communications problem?
I have about 25yrs experience as a mental health counselor (LMFT) in various jurisdictions throughout SE USA. Each location where I practiced had some very limited exceptions to parental consent for adolescents-(risk of neglect, physical, sexual abuse, also addiction recovery treatment if parental notification would put the adolescent in danger). I've additionally lost count of the number of young people referred by their school with the specific agenda of medicating the student or they would not be allowed to return to class. All of that to say I have never encountered a situation where a local school district has school psychiatrist on hand who would prescribe meds regardless of parental consent. I understand the thinking which went into the decision to medicate but I am sorry, the potential for disaster is too great.
Given the Trumpites that don't believe in medicine, I have no issues with the school jumping in. It's not the school's job but parents are stupid these days
Believe me, it isn't just "Trumpites". Overprotective parents. Parents who only believe in holistic medicine. Parents who "don't believe" in mental illness. Parents like this one who denies his kid is even depressed. The list could go on and on.
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And these SAME schools are taking away medications from kids that they require to stay alive. I think it always comes down to schools are underfunded and pay absolute garbage wages. So the ones who remain teaching schools are often lunatics and morons. Republican politicians have spent a huge amount of effort to ruin our public schools so they can justify forcing everyone to go to private schools so their friends who run those corporate schools can make more profit. The corruption in this country is staggering.
Notice how the dad said "he isn't depressed".... I wonder what would've happened if his son had gone to him first
It should be available for everyone, however I feel like when medications get involved, a parent should consent before anything is added. The parents should be aware of any treatment, because mental health care is just as important. The parents don't need to know what's being said in therapy, but I feel they need to be involved in the discussion on whether or not medication is needed. The teens should be involved with talking about this too, because when they're 18, medical decisions are their responsibility.
While I hundred percent agree that mental health should be made available to everyone, you simply don't put a minor on drugs without parental consent. It's ok to do therapy, counseling, etc but when decisions about medications or medical procedures needs to be taken, you involve the adult caretakers. If you suspect the kid might be exposed to abuse, you involve the CPS. It's a different thing to expose a minor to therapy where he just talks. It's a whole different thing to medicate. A lot of things are considered when giving medications like these, especially psychoactive ones. You have to consider their allergies, family medical histories, childhood medical history, their daily activities, the kinds of foods and drinks they're exposed to, the risks that come taking those pills etc. To everyone saying it's for the school to "help" without informing the parents, what if helping involves some kind of risky medical procedure.
Honestly the fact he was in that regular communication with the school means either two things- his son regularly struggled with grades (which can be caused by numerous mental health issues, which includes depression) or the dad is a helicopter parent, which *causes* numerous mental health issues, like anxiety and/or depression. Either way, clearly his son was feeling like something was up, seeked medical help for it, and either felt uncomfortable telling his dad or genuinely thought he knew. Either way, it was his choice and the dad should NOT have put this on social media. And maybe needs to have an honest, openminded convo with his kid, not just jumping to "my kid is fine". One in five teens suffer from some mental health problem, and they should absolutely be allowed to seek treatment on their own without judgement.
Schools have their own psychiatrists nowadays or do these doctors travel from school to school providing care? Kid saying " I thought you knew" to their parents bc they weren't involved in the decision and people are ok with this? I'm feeling hopelessly helpless and need a pill; so gonna run to school and borrow a cup
I 1,000,000,000,000% support kids getting the medication they need. AND, don’t so without notifying parents is not OK. I DO understand helping kids out that are in danger, or at risk, etc. And even if so, the school should inform the parents. This is not a choice-medicine, such as birth control, but a medicine that can interact with other meds, have side effects that need to be shared with parents, etc. It all seems REALLY sketchy to me!
Why can't the parents know of this? If the school thought my child had a problem and needed medication then the school should notify the parents first. Then go from there. If a school did this behind my back my child would be out of there in a heartbeat. No reason the parents should not be notified. This is just in believable.
This is definitely very weird. It's not like they gave him Tylenol for a headache. Antidepressants are such a rabbit hole for those who need them or start taking them (the very first one I tried cause intense body aches, the next I was allergic to and broken into severe hives). Not all of them will effect every patient the same way, so it may take a few tries of different things before finding the one that works without noticeable side effects. Nope, that's dangerous to do without parent's permission. Should be done with parents knowledge and the child's regular doctor, not a visiting psychiatrist who has no way to access the child's healthcare history.
crazy, should be illegal to give drugs to kids without parent's permission, if they are under 18 and under their roof.
What if his father was abusive?? Would that make it right to let him be killed if they told his father
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I can understand the law and where it comes from, but notification and consent are two different things. They can prescribe without consent, but I think notice should be required. Then again I can see where this would bring up issues in a home where abuse is suspected. I guess my counter to that is if you feel like there is a strong enough case to give the meds without even telling the parents, there should be a strong enough case to get CPS involved
When you depend on someone for food, shelter and safety, informing parents is often the same as asking them. A doctor decided this was medically advisable, the child chose to continue treatment.
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Depending on the state, at age 15 students have medical rights that don't require parent permission. Also, schools don't prescribe medicine. This sounds fake. We can't do that. There might be a health center that has some basic medical stuff (like get a flu shot). But this sounds made up.
Seattle Public Schools one of the largest districts in Washington state does have clinics in the school with mental and medical health provided. They provide a number of things including "Mental health screening, counseling, treatment and referral". Treatment may include both meds and counseling. So, no, not fake. https://www.seattle.gov/education/big-initiatives/fepp-levy/school-based-health-centers
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ESH; they should let the parent know to prevent medication mix-ups, and the parent shouldn't be blasting them on effing TikTok
Anti psych meds aren't to be taken lightly. Withdrawal is no joke. The dad should have known because of how severe withdrawal could be! Downvote me all you want, but it's true. I get it, people suck, but if that kid got hospitalized from withdrawal, whose fault would it be? How the heck is that the dad's fault? If the school prescribed him something, they should have sent it home with him.
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This isn't legal. The legal guardian is the only party authorized to make treatment decisions. I think you could sue
It is legal in states where it has been made legal. Like Washington state.
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Everything else aside this dude is a d**k for putting his kid on blast like that. Now the whole world knows this child is struggling mentally and is on medicine. Should of handled it privately or kept himself anonymous
I'm a teacher and several of my students have mental health issues. There are a couple of students who have spoken to me about their abusive parents. Some parents deny that there's anything "wrong" with their kid, and don't want them on medication. If it was a situation like that, I could see why the parent was not notified. I'm glad it seems like the kid has support at school, I hope he's doing alright. It also brings up a good question -- at which age should kids be allowed to make their own medical decisions?
"my son isn't depressed" DUH!! Your son sought help for himself, and personally I'm wondering WHY he didn't tell you about the meds? The artical fails to mention the child's mother, like others I feel there is more to the story not being said. Anti-depressant medication is a tool that helps while the root cause can be worked out, they were never meant as a long term solution, but again the article fails to detail the issue past the label of "depression".
Lilja, you said, "Anti-depressant medication is a tool that helps while the root cause can be worked out, they were never meant as a long term solution." That is incorrect. It depends on whether the depression is psychological or biological. If someone suffers from clinical depression, or bi-polar disorder, that is a biological illness that needs medication, usually long term.That IS what those medications were designed for. They were never designed to treat ordinary run of the mill depression or blue mood. That is actually why I am uncomfortable with General Practitioners prescribing, because psychiatrists are trained to know the difference.
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They don’t tell the parents when the “child” explicitly asks to keep it confidential. At this point I’d be glad that child protective services were not involved.
Not always the case. There are some things that schools are required to report to parents. Saying this as a teacher.
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If it's as cut and dry as this it's made to look, I'd pull my kid from that f*****g school system. But it feels highly illegal to prescribe a minor medication without the consent of a guardian.... so I too am wondering what we aren't being told.
Unfortunately parents don't always have their child's best interest at mind.
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America… you really need to fix some stuff. Man are you serious? This would be a crime in Europe.
Which part? It's not even the same between UK nations, there's no way it's the same for 40+ countries.
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There are antidepressants which in teens can actually make them suicidal. Teens on these drugs must be monitored to make sure this is not happening. Since kids are in school approximately 7 hours/5 days a week and that is mostly spent in classrooms, I doubt adequate monitoring is happening at school. And since the parent has been left uninformed, no professional monitoring is happening the other 17+ hours per day. Really bad decision making by the psychiatrist/school/state.
The kid isn't at fault here,the school is. He said that his kid thought he was told. The fact he wasn't is bs. I get that he needed the medicine,but his father should've been told at least.Also unless they had his medical history,they should've contacted his father. They should've contacted him about the medication at the very least.
Honestly, I’m all for NOT SHOVING PILLS DOWN A KID’S THROAT WITHOUT PROPER CONSENT!!! The child should be fully informed and consenting, at the very LEAST. Those things mess with brain chemistry if wrongfully taken. I would sue their pants off! Doctors may be competent, but time and time again, schools have been wellsprings of adult stupidity, when it comes to trying to manage the students lives. No common sense. A key example would be the dress code, which actually villainizes females rather than educating against and protecting them from objectification. Or the watered down and condescending heck hole that is IEPs and special Ed. Or suspending students for doing the right thing in a bad situation.
You seem confused. Nowhere in this post did it say that this teenager did not consent to treatment.
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The only f****d part here is that the parent wasn't informed. (unless maybe the mother was?) Also there isn't enough information on other important things. What paperwork was filled out, what testing happened etc etc.
Load More Replies... Don't give me that. Red states have come up with all kinds of laws changing the curriculum. If you don't like the way your school teaches, then you are free to vote for your local school board and change things. Or you can home school or go private.
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Antidepressants don't make you happy, they just take the edge off the worst parts of depression. They also work gradually, take at least 6 weeks to have any effect. Most depressed people don't outwardly hate people and the world. That's not depression, that's dissatisfaction. It doesn't sound like you would even know what to look for. If you really are a parent, please educate yourself.
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Mental health treatment must be available to everyone. I had two friends in high school who wanted and needed help, but could not talk to their parents about it. They both self-harmed, eventually one ended up in the hospital, barely surviving a suicide attempt, and other a few years later nearly died from complications with bulemia. This was all because their parents would have been informed of meds. If your child is in so much pain they are trying medication, don't add to their stress by trying to get involved. They will involve you when they are able to. But if seeking help means parents will be informed, Teena won't seek it. Doctor patient confidentiality exists so treatment can be as easily accessed as possible. If you were really supportive of your child, you woukdnt be freaking out about this, you would be grateful professionals were available. The alternative is often risk seeking or harmful behaviour. Be glad your child was responsible enough to get support.
I was in HS in the 90s/2000s, a lot of us campaigned to get the right to care that your child is enjoying because it's hard to be the entire support system when you are a teen yourself. I stayed up a lot of nights, talking my friends down from suicide. It shouldnt have been in me, these laws mean it wouldn't have to be.
Load More Replies... Yeah, agreed. Otherwise why would the kid not have brought it up for months? There's got to be a reason they didn't say anything, and the "I thought they told you" is a cover-up the kiddo used to not get in trouble.
Load More Replies... Here’s a very HUGE RED FLAG: “…he’s not depressed.” - depression doesn’t always present itself outwardly. Either the father had him evaluated or not. Seems not. Or maybe the father doesn’t believe in the meds or the diagnosis. Regardless, an actual psychiatrist and the 15yo think he is indeed depressed. So why doesn’t the father? Why did the son pick up the meds and, assumingely, take them for so long without telling the father? Kids have medical autonomy from their parents at 12/13. This 15yo sought out help, got help, then hid the treatment from his dad. Could you imagine how horrible if he didn’t have this access?
And now the poor kid is probably going without meds for the summer and did it in hopes his dad wouldn't find out. Sounds like hell and all the strength to him
Load More Replies... Ohhhh wow... ok this seems so OFF to me. I would absolutely lose my S**T if this was one of my kids. However, there seems to be more going on here and we don't know the full situation. Was the mother made aware and able to provide medical history? Is there an issue with his relationship with the child? Something is obviously off.
In Washington where this guy is located, schools can give prescriptions to children over 13 without parental consent, if the issue relates to mental health.
Load More Replies... By making this video this father has just outed his kid as being on anti-depressants to anybody he knows who sees it. And his friends and classmates will see it. He shouldn't be sharing his kid's private medical information on social media. The kid has a right to privacy. This is between him, the school, and his kid, not half the world.
Exactly this. Then he wonders why his kid can’t tell him how he feels. Seems like that poor child has “oh, you’re hurting inside, let’s make a til tok” type parents. No wonder the wee soul needs antidepressants 💔🤷♀️
Load More Replies... Ok, I'm a mental health provider in the state of Washington. There is literally no such thing as a "school psychiatrist" (prescriber) to my knowledge. The child (over the age of 13) can get mental health care without parental consent. It is up to the child if they disclose any information to the parent. The school calling dad were actually, legally, the ones in the wrong. It's a controversial law but it is the law.
If I were that kid I would feel the school had betrayed me. Also, as far as the father's concern about interactions, pharmacies have access to this information even if it is not the one the family typically uses and the child would have been told not to mix it with..
Load More Replies... Considering OP's response to finding out son was on anti-depressants was to share this sensitive information about his teenage son's mental health with the *entire internet*, maybe the son was choosing to protect his own privacy? By the time he goes back to school, everyone in the school will know he's on antidepressants. Maybe they'll be supportive, but frankly, a lot of teenagers are assholes, and there could be bullying and harassment. I'm more concerned whether the school broke confidentiality by telling loud-mouth Dad than that they didn't tell him.
hmmm. "my kid is not depressed" is maybe not place number 1 to stop at if a psychiatrist says they are? you know, a person with training and a degree? get a second opinion or whatever but it sounds like this is more about the dad not wanting a depressed kid. All medication carries risks, and antidepressants are among those, but there's a reason this kid didn't bring it up and presumably did continue taking them. 15 year olds are absolutely entitled to medical privacy if they don't feel safe bringing a parent in.
Soooo... The kid thinks they need antidepressants. The school counselor thinks kid needs antidepressants. A PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIATRIST thinks kid needs antidepressants. Kid doesn't feel comfortable to tell the father FOR MONTHS. Father: "My child isn't depressed! He doesn't need antidepressants!!!" Gee, father of the year, I wonder why none of the people involved chose to tell you. And the law says that a child can get them without parental consent if "the child has a dysfunctional family with unhealthy relationships". But please, don't let me stop you - explain some more how you are the victim.
The age of consent for mental health treatment without parental consent is 13 years of age. Just like consenting to sex, in Washington state you can also consent to treat your own depression. If the parents won't let him see a provider, the child has every right to do it on their own.
I'm glad the kid could get what he needed from somewhere. Teenagers are learning to be independent and take care of themselves. They should be guided to do that by being treated more and more like a responsible person. The most worthless 20 something's are the ones who never had to do anything for themselves and have never made a single decision before. That aside, the kid is old enough to know he needs help and that dad is not going to provide it. Maybe talk to your kid instead of ranting about it on social media and announcing his personal business to the world. It isn't about you, dad.
If anything I'm more worried that the school violated the kids privacy by telling dad about the medication. The fact he immediately goes on social media so that everyone who knows the family will know the kids personal medical business is a huge red flag for me. That kid is in therapy for a reason.
A child who is able to give consent should not have to ask parents for their permission to get mental health support. If the child felt comfortable asking his parents for such support, he would have done it. This happens in the UK too. There is not a specific age, but teenagers can visit their GP without their parents' permission. If your child is accessing mental health support without your permission, maybe ask why this is.
There has to be something dad isn't seeing...because the school may not have told him, but his son said nothing as well. I am not condoning what the school has done but schools are supposed to be a safespace where he can express his feelings without repercussions and he accepted the help. He also said something about medical history, when an IEP is signed there is a medical release signed by the parent so the school can access his records to avoid allergies and medical contradictions. Also this information is shared with the childs pediatrician so that they are aware of the new medication. I seen first hand where children were afraid to ask their parent for help and I've seen where said parents thought this cry for help was a reflection of their parenting and took it poorly, I was one of them. Some don't realize that a childs world revolves around more than them. Finally going on TikTok (where his friends can see) and complaining about it isn't helping this issue either.....
this is probably what the son wanted to avoid by talking to school officials instead of his father. The school may not have notified you, but they also didn't hugely publicize on social media your sons medical issues. I know the internet is large but where you live it will be seen and I'm sure some a*s of a kid will say something to him.
Load More Replies... I grew up with overprotective parents, who at times neglected my health by not getting me the appropriate treatment. Instead they took me to holistic doctors. I do think holistic doctors have their place, but in this case it did not work. I was almost completely deaf from the age of 14 to 19, when all I needed was a simple surgery: insertion of tubes to drain fluid from my ears. I did get the surgery as an adult. I can perfectly understand the rational behind this law, because not every parent is receptive to mental health treatment. In fact there are many fallacies about drug treatment and I see them expressed here on this page. The only problem I see is that I believe that there should also be routine counseling made available as well. Support is just as important as medical treatment.
Wow, just wow…between dads denial of his kids mental health needs, the weird, inappropriate comment about giving a 15 year old wine AND adding a roe vs wade hash tag… This is probably about dads feelings being hurt, not true 100% concern for his child. Not seeing any mention of mom so I can’t help but wonder if they’re separated and mom knew but didn’t tell dad because she knew what his reaction would be…she may have even asked the school not to tell him. That said, I can see issue with giving kids meds without parent knowledge - their family doctor could put them on something that interacts, and since so many antidepressants can cause suicidal ideation in teens parents should know so they can keep an eye on their reaction. I hope this child is able to get the help he needs.
Even if there was a problem in the home, the parents should still be informed and, first and foremost the proper authorities should be alerted and not just giving a child pills blindly like that. It's unsettling to know that parents aren't always in complete control over their child and every decision to be made for their child. My daughter was also in IEP, diagnosed with a GDD and had out of school and in-school speech therapy, I was involved in the supports and programs, went to meetings. It was a shock to me when a man showed up to one and then I was told this man was meeting my daughter a few times, and that he was another speech/development specialist who was taking my daughter in a separate room, alone. That raised some alarm bells. Parents are always treated like we're doing everything wrong and not enough.
Definitely think the dad is the problem here and the son didn’t tell him for a reason. The school effed up in calling him though
My daughter publicly thanks my husband and I every time she accomplishes a milestone for our support if her and her decisions. At least part of that is thanks for getting her help for her anxiety. So many of her friends could be doing so much better in life if their parents had not had the attitude that mental health treatment was something to be avoided at all costs.
In Canada, the age of medical consent is 14 and can be lower if the child is capable of giving informed consent. Similar in other jurisdictions. So if you are over 14, you have the right to doctor-patient confidentiality unless the you give direct consent to have information shared with your parents. The problem isn’t that the school withheld it from the dad, the problem is the school called the dad about the kid’s medication but they should have only talked to the kid.. The dad doesn’t have a leg to stand on with his complaints.
I will say that a 15 year old kid is old enough to know their own medical history, especially things like a heart murmur or things that certain medications could make worse. I agree that the school not telling the parents is messed up, but they also figure the kid is responsible enough to make decisions like that.
Not needing parental consent is one thing and can certainly be understood. What I wonder about, however, is whether their school doctor has access to the kid's medical history and whether his regular MD gets informed in case they need to prescribe him something as well. I just feel weird a school doctor can do this, not that parental consent isn't needed if this was at his regular MD.
I work for a school based health clinic, let me set some things straight. First, age of consent is 15 in Oregon, where I work. That means a 15 year old can consent to medical and mental health care. The age of consent is any age for reproductive health. Second, if a patient gets prescribed any mental health medication, it is after a long process of reviewing patient medical and social history, and after seeing a therapist. Third, a lot of time when kids are prescribed these without parent knowledge and consent, it is because they don't feel comfortable with their parents being involved or knowing. They don't feel like they can discuss tgis stuff with them. Trust me, we make every attempt to discuss it with parents and get their permission, but in the end, our job os to provide the best care for our patient. I guarantee this guys kid did not feel comfortable with his involvement. And honestly, his reaction says a LOT.
Not buying this one at all....no school is going to employ a "school psychiatrist", they are MD's and a school isn't going to be able to afford to pay that kind of salary/insurance. There's a black box warning on antidepressant therapy and children/young adults. He would need to be monitored for changes in his behavior or suicidal ideations. There's NO way that doctor would take the risk of not telling his legal guardian because if something were to happen to that child the doctor would be fully accountable. That would be the end of their medical license and career.
In 9th grade I went to my school counselor to share the abuse from my stepfather. Know what happened? He called my stepfather. I can, with certainty, tell you it didn't help the situation and made it much worse. Additionally, it kept me from seeking needed counseling as an adult for entirely too long.
I had a similar experience. For quick context, mom is toxic, overprotective, emotionally abusive to the point where me and my siblings can’t cry in front of her or we get grounded. 7th grade I was sent to the counsellor because school was positive something was wrong. Turns out I had anxiety. I trusted my counsellor but she emailed my parents everything I said. Every time I had meetings with her after that I was tense AF in fear she’d email my parents again. I’m sorry you also went through that. Breaking patient confidentiality is horrible and it at least made me not want a therapist in fear of that. :(
Load More Replies... It's interesting the article acts like this is so dangerous and assumes the medical professionals didn't get consent to talk to kiddos pediatrician about any other medications. I can't imagine any medical provider wouldn't specifically ask for consent to talk to the kids pediatrician and wouldn't be cautious about prescribing in the first place. Plus, the prescriber working with teens would, presumably, be trained to ask kiddo about drugs including alcohol and about supplements that might make the prescription contraindicated. I find this dad suspect and feel like there is definitely a lot that's missing in his telling of the story.
By Eli's own admission "doctors do have the right to prescribe antidepressants to children if the child has a dysfunctional family with unhealthy relationships."
Without reading... Let me guess the country. It's US of Amurica, right?
The US isn't the only country that has laws like this.
Load More Replies... MF looks like he gives his kid healing crystals and a dose of cbd oil for breakfast. Wouldn't trust a single word from him, also I bet he's probably trying to start a scaremongering campaing.
The dad looks like if Mark Zuckerberg started his brain chip program to grow a beard
Load More Replies... Kids are made to buy their own school supplies and I'm suppose to believe schools are purchasing meds? Nope. This a joint custody and communications problem?
I have about 25yrs experience as a mental health counselor (LMFT) in various jurisdictions throughout SE USA. Each location where I practiced had some very limited exceptions to parental consent for adolescents-(risk of neglect, physical, sexual abuse, also addiction recovery treatment if parental notification would put the adolescent in danger). I've additionally lost count of the number of young people referred by their school with the specific agenda of medicating the student or they would not be allowed to return to class. All of that to say I have never encountered a situation where a local school district has school psychiatrist on hand who would prescribe meds regardless of parental consent. I understand the thinking which went into the decision to medicate but I am sorry, the potential for disaster is too great.
Given the Trumpites that don't believe in medicine, I have no issues with the school jumping in. It's not the school's job but parents are stupid these days
Believe me, it isn't just "Trumpites". Overprotective parents. Parents who only believe in holistic medicine. Parents who "don't believe" in mental illness. Parents like this one who denies his kid is even depressed. The list could go on and on.
Load More Replies... And these SAME schools are taking away medications from kids that they require to stay alive. I think it always comes down to schools are underfunded and pay absolute garbage wages. So the ones who remain teaching schools are often lunatics and morons. Republican politicians have spent a huge amount of effort to ruin our public schools so they can justify forcing everyone to go to private schools so their friends who run those corporate schools can make more profit. The corruption in this country is staggering.
Notice how the dad said "he isn't depressed".... I wonder what would've happened if his son had gone to him first
It should be available for everyone, however I feel like when medications get involved, a parent should consent before anything is added. The parents should be aware of any treatment, because mental health care is just as important. The parents don't need to know what's being said in therapy, but I feel they need to be involved in the discussion on whether or not medication is needed. The teens should be involved with talking about this too, because when they're 18, medical decisions are their responsibility.
While I hundred percent agree that mental health should be made available to everyone, you simply don't put a minor on drugs without parental consent. It's ok to do therapy, counseling, etc but when decisions about medications or medical procedures needs to be taken, you involve the adult caretakers. If you suspect the kid might be exposed to abuse, you involve the CPS. It's a different thing to expose a minor to therapy where he just talks. It's a whole different thing to medicate. A lot of things are considered when giving medications like these, especially psychoactive ones. You have to consider their allergies, family medical histories, childhood medical history, their daily activities, the kinds of foods and drinks they're exposed to, the risks that come taking those pills etc. To everyone saying it's for the school to "help" without informing the parents, what if helping involves some kind of risky medical procedure.
Honestly the fact he was in that regular communication with the school means either two things- his son regularly struggled with grades (which can be caused by numerous mental health issues, which includes depression) or the dad is a helicopter parent, which *causes* numerous mental health issues, like anxiety and/or depression. Either way, clearly his son was feeling like something was up, seeked medical help for it, and either felt uncomfortable telling his dad or genuinely thought he knew. Either way, it was his choice and the dad should NOT have put this on social media. And maybe needs to have an honest, openminded convo with his kid, not just jumping to "my kid is fine". One in five teens suffer from some mental health problem, and they should absolutely be allowed to seek treatment on their own without judgement.
Schools have their own psychiatrists nowadays or do these doctors travel from school to school providing care? Kid saying " I thought you knew" to their parents bc they weren't involved in the decision and people are ok with this? I'm feeling hopelessly helpless and need a pill; so gonna run to school and borrow a cup
I 1,000,000,000,000% support kids getting the medication they need. AND, don’t so without notifying parents is not OK. I DO understand helping kids out that are in danger, or at risk, etc. And even if so, the school should inform the parents. This is not a choice-medicine, such as birth control, but a medicine that can interact with other meds, have side effects that need to be shared with parents, etc. It all seems REALLY sketchy to me!
Why can't the parents know of this? If the school thought my child had a problem and needed medication then the school should notify the parents first. Then go from there. If a school did this behind my back my child would be out of there in a heartbeat. No reason the parents should not be notified. This is just in believable.
This is definitely very weird. It's not like they gave him Tylenol for a headache. Antidepressants are such a rabbit hole for those who need them or start taking them (the very first one I tried cause intense body aches, the next I was allergic to and broken into severe hives). Not all of them will effect every patient the same way, so it may take a few tries of different things before finding the one that works without noticeable side effects. Nope, that's dangerous to do without parent's permission. Should be done with parents knowledge and the child's regular doctor, not a visiting psychiatrist who has no way to access the child's healthcare history.
crazy, should be illegal to give drugs to kids without parent's permission, if they are under 18 and under their roof.
What if his father was abusive?? Would that make it right to let him be killed if they told his father
Load More Replies... I can understand the law and where it comes from, but notification and consent are two different things. They can prescribe without consent, but I think notice should be required. Then again I can see where this would bring up issues in a home where abuse is suspected. I guess my counter to that is if you feel like there is a strong enough case to give the meds without even telling the parents, there should be a strong enough case to get CPS involved
When you depend on someone for food, shelter and safety, informing parents is often the same as asking them. A doctor decided this was medically advisable, the child chose to continue treatment.
Load More Replies... Depending on the state, at age 15 students have medical rights that don't require parent permission. Also, schools don't prescribe medicine. This sounds fake. We can't do that. There might be a health center that has some basic medical stuff (like get a flu shot). But this sounds made up.
Seattle Public Schools one of the largest districts in Washington state does have clinics in the school with mental and medical health provided. They provide a number of things including "Mental health screening, counseling, treatment and referral". Treatment may include both meds and counseling. So, no, not fake. https://www.seattle.gov/education/big-initiatives/fepp-levy/school-based-health-centers
Load More Replies... ESH; they should let the parent know to prevent medication mix-ups, and the parent shouldn't be blasting them on effing TikTok
Anti psych meds aren't to be taken lightly. Withdrawal is no joke. The dad should have known because of how severe withdrawal could be! Downvote me all you want, but it's true. I get it, people suck, but if that kid got hospitalized from withdrawal, whose fault would it be? How the heck is that the dad's fault? If the school prescribed him something, they should have sent it home with him.
Load More Replies... This isn't legal. The legal guardian is the only party authorized to make treatment decisions. I think you could sue
It is legal in states where it has been made legal. Like Washington state.
Load More Replies... Everything else aside this dude is a d**k for putting his kid on blast like that. Now the whole world knows this child is struggling mentally and is on medicine. Should of handled it privately or kept himself anonymous
I'm a teacher and several of my students have mental health issues. There are a couple of students who have spoken to me about their abusive parents. Some parents deny that there's anything "wrong" with their kid, and don't want them on medication. If it was a situation like that, I could see why the parent was not notified. I'm glad it seems like the kid has support at school, I hope he's doing alright. It also brings up a good question -- at which age should kids be allowed to make their own medical decisions?
"my son isn't depressed" DUH!! Your son sought help for himself, and personally I'm wondering WHY he didn't tell you about the meds? The artical fails to mention the child's mother, like others I feel there is more to the story not being said. Anti-depressant medication is a tool that helps while the root cause can be worked out, they were never meant as a long term solution, but again the article fails to detail the issue past the label of "depression".
Lilja, you said, "Anti-depressant medication is a tool that helps while the root cause can be worked out, they were never meant as a long term solution." That is incorrect. It depends on whether the depression is psychological or biological. If someone suffers from clinical depression, or bi-polar disorder, that is a biological illness that needs medication, usually long term.That IS what those medications were designed for. They were never designed to treat ordinary run of the mill depression or blue mood. That is actually why I am uncomfortable with General Practitioners prescribing, because psychiatrists are trained to know the difference.
Load More Replies... They don’t tell the parents when the “child” explicitly asks to keep it confidential. At this point I’d be glad that child protective services were not involved.
Not always the case. There are some things that schools are required to report to parents. Saying this as a teacher.
Load More Replies... If it's as cut and dry as this it's made to look, I'd pull my kid from that f*****g school system. But it feels highly illegal to prescribe a minor medication without the consent of a guardian.... so I too am wondering what we aren't being told.
Unfortunately parents don't always have their child's best interest at mind.
Load More Replies... America… you really need to fix some stuff. Man are you serious? This would be a crime in Europe.
Which part? It's not even the same between UK nations, there's no way it's the same for 40+ countries.
Load More Replies... There are antidepressants which in teens can actually make them suicidal. Teens on these drugs must be monitored to make sure this is not happening. Since kids are in school approximately 7 hours/5 days a week and that is mostly spent in classrooms, I doubt adequate monitoring is happening at school. And since the parent has been left uninformed, no professional monitoring is happening the other 17+ hours per day. Really bad decision making by the psychiatrist/school/state.
The kid isn't at fault here,the school is. He said that his kid thought he was told. The fact he wasn't is bs. I get that he needed the medicine,but his father should've been told at least.Also unless they had his medical history,they should've contacted his father. They should've contacted him about the medication at the very least.
Honestly, I’m all for NOT SHOVING PILLS DOWN A KID’S THROAT WITHOUT PROPER CONSENT!!! The child should be fully informed and consenting, at the very LEAST. Those things mess with brain chemistry if wrongfully taken. I would sue their pants off! Doctors may be competent, but time and time again, schools have been wellsprings of adult stupidity, when it comes to trying to manage the students lives. No common sense. A key example would be the dress code, which actually villainizes females rather than educating against and protecting them from objectification. Or the watered down and condescending heck hole that is IEPs and special Ed. Or suspending students for doing the right thing in a bad situation.
You seem confused. Nowhere in this post did it say that this teenager did not consent to treatment.
Load More Replies... The only f****d part here is that the parent wasn't informed. (unless maybe the mother was?) Also there isn't enough information on other important things. What paperwork was filled out, what testing happened etc etc.
Load More Replies... Don't give me that. Red states have come up with all kinds of laws changing the curriculum. If you don't like the way your school teaches, then you are free to vote for your local school board and change things. Or you can home school or go private.
Load More Replies... Antidepressants don't make you happy, they just take the edge off the worst parts of depression. They also work gradually, take at least 6 weeks to have any effect. Most depressed people don't outwardly hate people and the world. That's not depression, that's dissatisfaction. It doesn't sound like you would even know what to look for. If you really are a parent, please educate yourself.
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