It takes a while getting over your childhood bullies. Sometimes, even a lifetime. Canada-based artist Meghan Lands has spent the last 20 years trying to forget her first 10. Recently, however, she opened up her tormentor’s Facebook profile and it evoked a whole lot of emotions. So much, in fact, that Meghan has decided to put everything into a comic.
“I think a lot of us do this kind of mild self-harm where we look up people who have hurt us in the past, whether on Facebook or elsewhere,” Meghan told Bored Panda. “I’ve certainly done it before, and since.” Lands added, however, that she’s fortunate enough to not experience these moments frequently.
She describes the comic as a “rejected anthology submission” and hasn’t even given it an official title, but the 150k+ tumblr notes on it indicate that it has a lot of people relating. “I think many of us have been either picked on or the pick-onner at some point in our lives,” Megan added. “Growing up is tough to begin with, and in school we have to contend with this social pecking order that’s constantly reasserting or reorganizing itself.”
“When I initially posted the comic I received so much feedback that I drew a response of sorts. A lot of people reached out to me with concerns or to share their own experiences, and I felt kind of a responsibility to respond. You can see that comic here.”
More info: meghanlands.com | Instagram | tumblr | Twitter
Canada-based artist Meghan Lands’s work features a lot of her personal experiences
Image credits: meghanlands.com
Especially this moving comic about school bullying
After reading the emotional story, people had a lot to say
FB profiles tend to show only the good parts in someone's life. I looked up my high school bully: her life appeared average, husband, kids, etc. Through a mutual acquaintance, I found out she had cancer some years back, and needed reconstructive surgery. The cancer she had has a high rate of returning, and a low survival rate. It is only a matter of time before it returns and kills her. Karma is meaner than I could ever be.
People fail to understand that wishing bad karma on people is also a form of bad karma. It's very common, but the best thing is to forgive her and move on.
Well good thing karma's not actually a thing so I don't have to feel guilty about it.
Nobody owes anyone forgiveness! Not forgiving someone doesn't mean you dwell in the past and spend time thinking about that person. You can "forget" it to the point where it doesn't hurt, to the point where you feel complete indifference. But that is NOT forgiveness. Fuck that.
Everyone's different, I rather forgive than not, others do something else. To me, forgiving is a way to let go and move on. It resolves the matter and then it's gone. Makes me feel good to, kind of powerful. Revenge is easy, as is ignoring what's happened, forgiving someone takes courage and a lot of effort. So, I forgive but I don't let that person near me ever again. But again, that's me.
It's never OK to forgive a bully. If someone want to forvige a bully it only say that it was ok you hit me, called me stuff, hurt me, yelled at me and so on. And you said to someone victim to forgive and move on, that means YOU ARE A BULLY!!!!
I can't forgive and move on.
An addition to my previous statement: Looking back on it now, I might have misunderstood your statement, but my point remains the same.
@Tania Dubodiel: Of course nobody ever owes anyone forgiveness! THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED AN ACT OF MERCY TO FORGIVE!!! IT'S TO SHOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT THEY DID SOMETHING THAT SHOULDN'T BE DONE, BUT BECAUSE YOU FORGAVE THEM, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT IT ANYMORE! It DOES NOT MATTER to YOU ANYMORE!! In case you didn't know (which wouldn't surprise me honestly): 1. I used a lot of capital letters because I am very passionate about my feelings. 2. "Mercy: Noun. 1. compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm."
No such thing. I've been cursing people left and right and I'm dandy a a peach, in fact let me five you a little taste: her cancer will return sooner and meaner than ever and she'll wish she was dead but she won't die just yet. She will experience something more horrible than her illness and then she'll die knowing the piece of scum she really is and always has been. And however wishes anything against me, you'll get it, but not before you suffering tenfold. Sooo do everything at you own risk.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
forgive your childhood bullys for they knew not what they did
Her cancer has nothing to do with how she treated you when you were kids. That's absolutely disgusting thinking.
Her point was that FB only shows the "good" side of someone life. Just because someone loos normal and happy on FB doesn't mean that's the truth.
that's not what Lizard Queen is saying. She's saying no one would know from her FB page the tragedy that has befallen her. Her last line clearly does not wish her ill.
Exactly. It's funny how it's all "wow now normal she is" then it's all a very nice passive aggressive reporting of her certain cancer death. Wow. End your victim cycle. forgive her, forgive yourself and move the fuck on.
Tricia Evans exactly my point. People don't share their private pain on social media. For all we know, the bully in the OP may be facing a similar battle. Ben Smith if someone does nothing but put negativity into the world, they will reap negativity. Her bullying me (and many others) was symptomatic of her own poor decision making, poor values, etc. THAT is what I meant by karma, not something mystical/metaphysical. She was too busy telling everyone how perfect her life was, and neglected to have a few simple medical tests that would have caught it much earlier, and prevented much of her suffering.
Referring to the post above.
you only tell the world the good stuff on FB and other social media
My family nags me about my postings about my chronic pain and diseases. They tell me that everyone has problems and nobody wants to know about mine, so I should only post good things.
Yes, that was my original point. Folks don't broadcast their private battles. The harder their battles are, the less they mention.
Eventually there will be consequences on their actions. Not all people that they will meet along the way will put up with their being mean. Some people they will meet may be able to do things worse than these bullies are able to do. I know two incidents that these happened. One was brought to financial ruin. Another was killed because of a grudge against her. This is the reason why my mom used to remind us not to be mean or to let go especially on minor grudges (ex road rage).
Bullies are typically only mean to those who DO put up with it. They will try to make friends with the stronger/ meaner individuals. No allies, no power. That's also why bullies tend to do quite well in our narcissistic society.
Implying that she got cancer because of karma from having bullied you is pretty low. I’m pretty sure being a childhood bully doesn’t warrant a slow and painful death, and I say that as someone who was bullied
So, what's the point? Wishing her death makes you meaner and pettier than she'll ever be...
Agree completely
Shit, I replied to the wrong comment earlier ... sorry.
...ouch.
Any idea why my bully has blocked me on fb even though we haven't spoken for 16 years?
Oh please, assholes get away with shit all the time. This post is a prime example. Karma? It only works as a punishment, then? Because a lot of victims get parts of their lives destroyed, if not all of it, without getting anything back. It's just a useless little word just to find something to say to pretend to make oneself feel better for unfair crap beyond their control.
I hope her bully ex-friend sees it and owns up to what she did and apologies earnestly. I also hope this comic gives her the relief that she needs and finally exhale.
It would be awesome if that did happen. Unfortunately we so often don't get the apologies we deserve from people who have wronged us. I hope the author can heal and have her own great life, and not let memories of that bully lie to her anymore.
The victim always remembers. Those who inflict pain forget in a blink of eyes. Karma is a b*tch, and I do believe in justice (never revenge!)... but I also believe in living a happy life after erasing 10, 20, whatever years judged necessary. I don't remember much from my childhood because of my urge to forget certain things.. names they'd call me that today would be considered racism. But I do remember how my friends gave me a surprise party at college in 2016. I remember yesterday, when I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. We need to, we MUST shield ourselves from those "villains" and focus on the "heroes" that give us "10 years" to remember for a lifetime. Your bully's success doesn't matter. Your bully's failure doesn't matter. You matter, and you survived. You ROCK.
great comment Xanthe!
thank you, Seanemone!!
FB profiles tend to show only the good parts in someone's life. I looked up my high school bully: her life appeared average, husband, kids, etc. Through a mutual acquaintance, I found out she had cancer some years back, and needed reconstructive surgery. The cancer she had has a high rate of returning, and a low survival rate. It is only a matter of time before it returns and kills her. Karma is meaner than I could ever be.
People fail to understand that wishing bad karma on people is also a form of bad karma. It's very common, but the best thing is to forgive her and move on.
Well good thing karma's not actually a thing so I don't have to feel guilty about it.
Nobody owes anyone forgiveness! Not forgiving someone doesn't mean you dwell in the past and spend time thinking about that person. You can "forget" it to the point where it doesn't hurt, to the point where you feel complete indifference. But that is NOT forgiveness. Fuck that.
Everyone's different, I rather forgive than not, others do something else. To me, forgiving is a way to let go and move on. It resolves the matter and then it's gone. Makes me feel good to, kind of powerful. Revenge is easy, as is ignoring what's happened, forgiving someone takes courage and a lot of effort. So, I forgive but I don't let that person near me ever again. But again, that's me.
It's never OK to forgive a bully. If someone want to forvige a bully it only say that it was ok you hit me, called me stuff, hurt me, yelled at me and so on. And you said to someone victim to forgive and move on, that means YOU ARE A BULLY!!!!
I can't forgive and move on.
An addition to my previous statement: Looking back on it now, I might have misunderstood your statement, but my point remains the same.
@Tania Dubodiel: Of course nobody ever owes anyone forgiveness! THAT'S WHY IT'S CALLED AN ACT OF MERCY TO FORGIVE!!! IT'S TO SHOW THAT YOU KNOW THAT THEY DID SOMETHING THAT SHOULDN'T BE DONE, BUT BECAUSE YOU FORGAVE THEM, YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT IT ANYMORE! It DOES NOT MATTER to YOU ANYMORE!! In case you didn't know (which wouldn't surprise me honestly): 1. I used a lot of capital letters because I am very passionate about my feelings. 2. "Mercy: Noun. 1. compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm."
No such thing. I've been cursing people left and right and I'm dandy a a peach, in fact let me five you a little taste: her cancer will return sooner and meaner than ever and she'll wish she was dead but she won't die just yet. She will experience something more horrible than her illness and then she'll die knowing the piece of scum she really is and always has been. And however wishes anything against me, you'll get it, but not before you suffering tenfold. Sooo do everything at you own risk.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
forgive your childhood bullys for they knew not what they did
Her cancer has nothing to do with how she treated you when you were kids. That's absolutely disgusting thinking.
Her point was that FB only shows the "good" side of someone life. Just because someone loos normal and happy on FB doesn't mean that's the truth.
that's not what Lizard Queen is saying. She's saying no one would know from her FB page the tragedy that has befallen her. Her last line clearly does not wish her ill.
Exactly. It's funny how it's all "wow now normal she is" then it's all a very nice passive aggressive reporting of her certain cancer death. Wow. End your victim cycle. forgive her, forgive yourself and move the fuck on.
Tricia Evans exactly my point. People don't share their private pain on social media. For all we know, the bully in the OP may be facing a similar battle. Ben Smith if someone does nothing but put negativity into the world, they will reap negativity. Her bullying me (and many others) was symptomatic of her own poor decision making, poor values, etc. THAT is what I meant by karma, not something mystical/metaphysical. She was too busy telling everyone how perfect her life was, and neglected to have a few simple medical tests that would have caught it much earlier, and prevented much of her suffering.
Referring to the post above.
you only tell the world the good stuff on FB and other social media
My family nags me about my postings about my chronic pain and diseases. They tell me that everyone has problems and nobody wants to know about mine, so I should only post good things.
Yes, that was my original point. Folks don't broadcast their private battles. The harder their battles are, the less they mention.
Eventually there will be consequences on their actions. Not all people that they will meet along the way will put up with their being mean. Some people they will meet may be able to do things worse than these bullies are able to do. I know two incidents that these happened. One was brought to financial ruin. Another was killed because of a grudge against her. This is the reason why my mom used to remind us not to be mean or to let go especially on minor grudges (ex road rage).
Bullies are typically only mean to those who DO put up with it. They will try to make friends with the stronger/ meaner individuals. No allies, no power. That's also why bullies tend to do quite well in our narcissistic society.
Implying that she got cancer because of karma from having bullied you is pretty low. I’m pretty sure being a childhood bully doesn’t warrant a slow and painful death, and I say that as someone who was bullied
So, what's the point? Wishing her death makes you meaner and pettier than she'll ever be...
Agree completely
Shit, I replied to the wrong comment earlier ... sorry.
...ouch.
Any idea why my bully has blocked me on fb even though we haven't spoken for 16 years?
Oh please, assholes get away with shit all the time. This post is a prime example. Karma? It only works as a punishment, then? Because a lot of victims get parts of their lives destroyed, if not all of it, without getting anything back. It's just a useless little word just to find something to say to pretend to make oneself feel better for unfair crap beyond their control.
I hope her bully ex-friend sees it and owns up to what she did and apologies earnestly. I also hope this comic gives her the relief that she needs and finally exhale.
It would be awesome if that did happen. Unfortunately we so often don't get the apologies we deserve from people who have wronged us. I hope the author can heal and have her own great life, and not let memories of that bully lie to her anymore.
The victim always remembers. Those who inflict pain forget in a blink of eyes. Karma is a b*tch, and I do believe in justice (never revenge!)... but I also believe in living a happy life after erasing 10, 20, whatever years judged necessary. I don't remember much from my childhood because of my urge to forget certain things.. names they'd call me that today would be considered racism. But I do remember how my friends gave me a surprise party at college in 2016. I remember yesterday, when I laughed so hard my stomach hurt. We need to, we MUST shield ourselves from those "villains" and focus on the "heroes" that give us "10 years" to remember for a lifetime. Your bully's success doesn't matter. Your bully's failure doesn't matter. You matter, and you survived. You ROCK.
great comment Xanthe!
thank you, Seanemone!!