Someone Asked, “What’s The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?”, 30 Women Delivered
With so many years of equal rights progression, sadly, we still live in a largely male-dominated society. The dominance over women can be visible in virtually all walks of life, from your workplace to your family or friend circle. Speaking of which, you don’t ever have to be friends with toxic men, or men you don’t feel comfortable with, or women, for that matter. Listen, friends are people we decide to build a friendship with and there’s no obligation.
So this eye-opening Reddit thread comes as a cold shower for any woman out there who realized they overestimated their male friend. “What's the scariest thing a male friend has said to you?” Redditor u/sedbiss asked on the Ask Women subreddit, which is home to a whopping 3.4 million members.
The unsettling stories and genuine, yet very disturbing experiences women had with their male “friends” started coming in, and it makes you realize that some people don’t deserve to get close to you and get a friend tag.
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We were about 15, and a friend told me that my 6 year old niece was "hot". Stopped having anything to do with him. About a year later he was arrested for molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18! That was in the 80's and he got 30 years.
I work in a male-dominated space and they consider me 'one of the boys,' aka they talk s**t without a filter, even when I'm around. The countless number of ugly comments made about women and the amount of pride they have in cheating on their partners is astounding. I remember one of them saying, 'We go for women in their early 20s because they don't know who they are yet, and they can't argue back. They're easier to train and mold.' He was dead serious, and I was disgusted.
I knew this guy when I was in 10th grade, he was a senior. We were friends and I made the mistake of letting him walk me home. He showed up unannounced multiple times and said disgusting things the longer this went on. He said he wanted to “breed me so hard that my screams were heard by satan.”
I hate him.
Although it's hard to exactly pinpoint why some men act like entitled jerks and have the audacity to tell these things to women, the toxic behavior is partly if not largely blamed on them being insecure. In fact, men who are insecure about their masculinity showcases typical behavior. It manifests in some form of anxiety about a man being presented as a less masculine, more “vulnerable” version of himself.
Such anxiety may be present if a man refuses to carry his girlfriend’s bag, or hesitates to hug his male friends in public. Psychologists believe that these men who aren’t secure in their masculinity are aware that their manhood is precarious and that they may, at any moment, lose manhood status in other people’s eyes.
I said I was r**ped by my uncle and he said "Lucky uncle"
He said, 'I honestly didn’t care about what he had done to you, I was just listening in the hope that you’d cheat on him with me.' Then I immediately rid him of my life.
If you girls knew how guys talk about you when you can’t hear them, you wouldn’t go near us again.
This belief can be understood as a byproduct of our society that spreads the belief of gender role norms, which are often sexist and imply that gender is a social status that has to be earned.
A 2012 study has shed even more light on how masculine insecurity can predetermine men’s behavior. Scientists conducted an online survey that probed how the male participants perceived masculinity standards and how their own self-image fit in with this perception. The 600 male participants were asked whether they felt as masculine as the average guy or if they wished to be more macho. The survey also included information about the individual's substance use and violent behavior.
In high school, i was SA’d by two male “friends.” This happened at a party in which no one did anything. I didn’t handle the aftermath well (who would) & i threw myself into more reckless decisions(partying, drugs, alcohol, hanging out w the wrong crowd). Anyways, I was at another party that one of my best (male) friends was throwing. I was really drunk & another one of my male friends said to the one throwing the party, “she’s in the perfect state for you to bring her upstairs now.” They had both been at the party I was SA’d at & the one that threw the party was actually the first person to ever ask me if what happened that night was consensual. It almost turned into this joke with everyone that if you got a couple drinks in me that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do; everyone thought it was funny. I remember when those words left my “friends” mouth then watching the other one just nod, agree, & laugh. I was terrified. The one that threw the party had a crush on me & spent the whole night chasing me to try & apologize. It felt like a part of me split entirely that night when I realized that I was always just an object to the people I thought were my friends; that no one cared about what was done to me & they would do it again. I felt so helpless. It’s been five years since my first assault in high school - still don’t know what those two boys did that night & i don’t want to.
My male friend once told me that a lady cut him off on the highway, which pissed him off as anyone would be. But instead of just moving on from that, he followed her all the to her house and parked right outside her home so he could 'scare her.' He then laughed and said that she didn’t get out of the car until he drove away. I was f**king horrified when he told me all of this, and I went off on him. I told him how f**ked up it was and how she probably felt scared for her life. He did end up feeling bad about it and told me he was embarrassed and upset that he scared her, but it still doesn’t excuse what he did.
No. He doesn’t get a pass. Terrorism is what he did. It may not seem like it but he followed through with something that was on the terroristic end.
Quite right. That woman doesn't know who he is or why he did it. She is probably still terrified. He's a bullying git and deserves to be given hell for being so awful.
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See.... it's s**t like this that men can't understand is beyond f****d up. Because they've never been at the receiving end of this torture. They've never feared for their life walking home at night. Walking to their car. Being followed by a man who won't leave you alone. Carrying your keys in your knuckles as a weapon. Carrying mace, tasers, knives.... having 911 already dialed "just in case" ..... so they act like this without considering wtf is going thru that woman's head. They think it's funny. But that was probably a life changing moment in her life and she will probably never f*****g forget that day. She will forever watch out her rear view mirror... worried about being followed home. She will forever think that someone is following her. Or that this strange man who followed her home is going to come back.... she probably sat in her window all night.. checking locked windows and doors just to be safe... just waiting. F**k. This. Dude.
Would he have done that if it it was me, a big lump of bloke, who cut him up? Probably not, says all you need to know.
Happened to me too, but instead of driving home I drove to the police station.
When I first started driving the first thing my stepdad told me was that if I ever knew or even thought someone was following me to drive to the neatest police station or emergency room. I didnt understand emergency room but its because usually security is right inside those glass doors. He told me to NEVER drive home.
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He was lying to you to shut you up. You’d have to be a psychopath to do that in the first place.
But did she stay friends with him after this? I don’t care if he was maybe, sort of, a little bit remorseful way later on. When people show you who they are, BELIEVE THEM.
What a f*****g psycho. Wish she had written down license # and driven to police station
I am glad he felt some shame, but that is not someone I would continue to be friends with.. that's some spontaneous psychopath s**t.
If you want to scare a girl to teach her a lesson, understand you are so insecure you feel threatening someone is the only way to feel powerful... which doesn't make you powerful, just a complete weakling who bullies and harasses, as is the case with every bully/future domestic abuser/rapist. Would you want this done to yourself?
I've had that happen to me; I was forced to change lanes by another driver, and unfortunately cut up the car behind. He harassed me on the road, driving super close to me, flashing his lights... for about 5 miles then followed me home. I ended up calling the police and giving them his registration number. He only left when a patrol car drove past. I was scared for months that he knew where I lived. I can't drive now but the memory sticks with me so much that I still hate that bit of road.
i think anger can make people act very irrationally its good he realised what he did was out of order
Oh god that happened to me by mistake. Someone cut me off so I gave them the “seatbelt” gesture and flashed my lights then proceeded to drive home…. Following them - they’d moved in down the street. I had to go round the “block” and come back once they’d gone inside!
If someone tried that with me, I'd calmly get out of the car, head inside, grab one of my katanas, and causally step out on the porch. Somehow I doubt they'd stick around for long.
You don't know what the man is capable of or whether he's also armed. Don't bring katanas to a gun fight.
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When I was 17, a guy that I considered a good friend was mad that I rejected him, so he made a profile on an escort website and used my photos and all my personal info. He said it was just a joke. I called the police.
The researchers found that the men with high discrepancy stress were more likely to be violent than the men who were not as concerned about their masculinity. The two groups, however, were not likely to differ significantly in their alcohol and drug use, the scientists said. They also found that these men characterized as having high gender role discrepancy and high discrepancy stress partook in assaults causing injury 348 percent more than men with low discrepancy stress.
We were coming back from an event with another male friend, mid conversation he said “you’re actually gorgeous, surprised no one has r**ed you yet”. They both just laughed.
Haven’t forgotten and won’t.
A gay, friendly coworker gave me a morning hug and then unhooked my bra. Naturally, I freaked and yelled at him and he just jokingly said, 'I like boys, it’s okay for me to do that!' It was a confusing way to feel violated, but I needed him to understand how disgusting that opinion was, so I made sure he saw me tell other people what happened. He responded the same way a few times until he realized how stupid he sounded.
I would've grabbed him somewhere inappropriate and go "I like girls so it's okay for me to touch you there as I have no sexual intentions" and see how he likes it.
Not a male 'friend' per se, but a male acquaintance said he enjoyed hurting women emotionally and, knowing they liked him, he could then take advantage of their feelings and do what he wanted. This is something most women are probably aware of, but it was shocking how unashamed he was in just saying it out loud.
I didn’t really know him that well and we were hanging out at a bar. I was about to go to the bathroom and he made a comment about spiking my drink while I was gone. He said it was 'just a joke' but that’s s**t's not funny. I took my drink to the bartender instead and never saw him again.
I used to work in specialized group homes for disabled and aggressive youth. I was 20 at the time and am a woman. My coworker always brought up topics that were horrifying and made me very uncomfortable, but the very worst one was when he said, 'All females have a r**e fantasy' We were alone at 11 p.m. while the kids in the house slept. I left THE MOMENT my shift was over and immediately requested to never be placed with him again.
I told a friend about my sexual assault experience and immediately he said, 'See, that’s why you have to watch who you get involved with.' Basically saying that it’s my fault for not noticing the red flags. Thanks, my guy! I was the one who was assaulted, no need to turn this into an 'I am the wise one' moment.
I was roommates and friends with this guy for years. We were talking one night and he asked if I remembered the party we met at years before, and I said that I couldn't remember any details because I was super drunk. I actually had to be walked home by some kind acquaintances at the party that night. He said he knew, and that he was sober and trying to get me to come home with him, but I got pulled away by those acquaintances. I wanted to cry. This person who I considered a friend, who lived in the bedroom next to me, looked me in the eye and said that he wished he assaulted me. It's probably the worst and scariest thing anyone has ever said to me.
I hope you left that apartment immediately and found somewhere else to live. That doesn't seem safe.
We had a friend's husband help my husband and I move. My husband went to make another trip to grab more of our things, so my friend's husband and I were alone. He said, 'Man, there’s no way that I would ever leave my wife alone with any of my friends' To this day, I still don’t know what to think about that.
That apparently he sees women as exotic animals you need to protect from poachers?
When I was 19 I was out walking in the middle of the night with my two closest guy friends, one of them was quiet, shy, sweet. I had a crush on him. The other one was loud and sometimes annoying, . We were all high. They slowed down and I kept walking. We got to a field we went to all the time. Suddenly they both came up t behind me and the quiet one grabbed my hands and held them behind my back. The other one started putting his hands inside my shirt and pants. When I finally got free the quiet one who was holding my hands said "dude it felt like we were raping her."
Those are words I'll never forget. As weird as it is, what he said effects more than what they did. I never in a million years thought I'd hear those words come out of his lips.
About one of our other friends at a barbeque: 'I’ll make my move when she’s drunk enough.' I kept my friend and all other females away from him that night.
Was at a party one night and guy who I would call an acquaintance more than a friend sidled up to me and pointing to a female friend said "just a couple more drinks and she'll be ready for fun". I turned to him smiling and got close to his face and quietly said "if I see you within ten feet of her I'll put you through the nearest window". He left soon after.
“That time you passed out drunk at the party, I fingered you.” He also proceeded to tell me how he only became ‘friends’ with me in the first place with the intention of sleeping with me and resorted to non-consensual touching when I didn’t accept his feelings. Real douchebag.
Not exactly a friend, but a buddy from my travel group, when we had an argument about having/not having kids: "If I could, I would imprison you and f**k you until you get pregnant". Apparently, in his mind i was insane for not wanting kids when i'm an "interesting person".
Keep such dark fantasies to yourself and people you can talk to about such tgings, and even then, be very very careful
He commented saying my outfit made him want to take me to a dark corner and doing horrible things to me but he can’t because we’re friends and you don’t “do those things” to women you like.
Multiple grown men had told me my entire childhood that I had 'amazing birthing hips.'
Don’t you ever get scared of being alone with me?
One said something in a group chat saying he’d basically go pull some 'whale,' clearly meaning fat woman if he wanted to get laid. I, being a fat woman, called him on that, then told my friend who he’d clearly had a crush on and had been trying to get together with for a while. It's safe to say she never went out with him.
That he could tell by a woman's scent that she's on her period and whether or not she's a virgin. That was so creepy, I didn't ask for any further details.
A male friend of three years wanted to move into a room that I was vacating. When my housemates chose the other potential renter instead of him, he turned on me, shouting and blaming me for the decision not going his way. His words were something along the lines of 'I should've stopped being friends with you a long time ago when I realized that you wouldn't have sex with me.'
I was in London with a big group of friends when I was a teenager, two of the boys came over to me and said "that guy over there offered to buy you for the weekend, we want you to pretend to be ok with it, and we will rob him" I was f**king horrified, I hardly knew the boys and this sounded terrifying to me, one of them started getting angry with me and saying I had to because he knew other girls men had tried to do this with, and they needed to learn a lesson.
Still makes my blood run cold, I was 15 by the way.
“If you wont kiss me I’ll jump off [region specific] bridge.”
“I’m divorcing my wife for you”
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A lot of these are involve guys who are nice to women as a payment for sex - and then whinge about being "friendzoned" when they don't get the return on investment they expect. If "friendzoning" is a thing, boys, then so is "fuckzoning", and you do that to too many girls, and I'd argue it's worse to discover someone's only interacting with you because they want what's between your legs than it is because they like you as a person.
Huh, "friendzoning" and 'fuckzoning". Never thought about it but that's a fair comparison.
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Let's be clear: in today's world there isn't a snowflake's chance in hell that these guys haven't heard that and why all this is unacceptable. They know. And they still do it. And their male friends let them. All the talk about 'teaching them about consent' - no. They know. They just don't care, neither do their enablers.
While it’s definitely not a complete solution, we do genuinely need more education on consent. There have been studies where college students only admitted to r*pe when the definition, rather than the term itself, was used. We need to do a better job emphasizing what exactly is unacceptable and will result in severe consequences. Then we need to do a better job following up with consequences instead of letting it slide.
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Every one of these is an example of the quote "Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will rape and kill them". How the f**k can people (and yes mostly men) continue to be confronted with the reality women face every single day and still insist that we dont have a problem with men and male culture.
My colleague, a professor with whom we were on friendly terms and first name basis, once stated in a very jolly tone that he hates it when his wife cries in front of him and that he feels like slapping her when it happens. At an international conference in front of other professors and researchers from our community, many of whom were female of course.
I never will understand, why some guys are so scared of woman/ girls- they have to possess/ humilate/ haunt us just to feel mightier Stop the hell to get so fragile about your masculinity so we can feel safe again.
Good on you, but that situation is troublesome, if you throw into that mix that the guy who is very attracted to the girl is also highly intoxicated.. it will most likely end up to sex that either or both might regret next day.
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We aren't raising our young men well enough. We allow them to think the most horrifying things without correcting them and we STILL have this who thing about 'boys will be boys' We need to start VERY early teaching them about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour and about WHY that is. There's WAY too much of this. I know men will say 'not all men...' but how is anyone meant to know WHICH men..
Certain people should be locked up and kept away from the rest of society, I'm starting to believe.
I have an ex friend who is basically a sex pest. I've literally had to drag him away from women he's been harassing by the scruff of his neck (apologising to the woman simultaneously). He has mental health problems & he thinks he's God's gift to women despite having the looks & personality of a stillborn turd. He's the kind of person who would take advantage of a drunk/incapacitated woman without a second thought. Luckily he never leaves his house much anymore & his looks/personality prevent any woman getting close to him. I'm no longer his friend, he's done nothing I can get him arrested for (which I would have done at the drop of a hat) but the urge to beat the everloving s**t out of him was becoming too much. I only remained his 'friend' to keep an eye on his behaviour but I could only tolerate so much. If I stayed in contact with him, it would be ME who got arrested, yet he's allowed to continue behaving the way he does because he's dismissed as "harmless" due to mental health.
I've had male friends interested in more. Two had crushes on me and were sweet about it. We stayed on good terms. I even gave one dating advice because I felt he'd make a very good boyfriend for someone else (my advice worked - I'm very happy for him and his wife). The third was crude to me and married at the time. I dumped him.
I was SA'd multiple times as a child. I was afraid of men for the longest time. I was weary of every man my mother would date, my fathers friends, even school mates. It ruined my vision of se*/making love/affection and how it should really be with a spouse. Ruined my first marriage and had trouble in my 2nd (current). I have a daughter now and PRAY that I can teach her to watch out for clues, red flags, etc so she never goes through anything I went through. I will teach my son to always respect women and to NEVER even joke about things like this. I am sorry for all the women in this thread who have had to experience SA. :(
I have a creepy experience with a guy. We were both minors at the time. I had a crush on him, and he had one on me. He once said "I want to have 12 children. We're going to f**k everyday until we do." then went back to eating. I was disgusted and quickly cut ALL ties with him.
This is why my mother carries to this day a grapefruit spoon in her purse. If asked why she took out someone's eyeballs with it, she can say she wanted to match the set of flatware at the store.
I've heard men literally bragging about scaring women by following them and how fun it was to make them terrified and paranoid. It made me both sick and furious. Dudes, this is a good way to get shot by a woman who has had one encounter too many and gets a license to carry. You think it's funny to scare women, but women legitimately fear for their lives when you do this and eventually, one of them WILL resort to (potentially lethal) force to protect themselves. Sure they MAY say 'I was in fear for my life" and get off with nothing or a light sentence. Sure they MAY go to jail for a long time. But you and your "hurr hurr dis iz funny" self is still either severely injured or dead. This is NOT funny. This is NOT a joke.
You know, back in high school sex ed they had us to go through a segment on how to behave on a date. As I was still being forced to pretend I was a guy, I got the guy one. And I was genuinely horrified at the options presented. The fact that anyone would choose any of the ones besides "be a decent human being and respect her" was something I could not even fathom. I genuinely thought those were joke answers. How naive I was... I wonder now what the version they showed my presenting-female classmates was like. Probably mostly "don't do these things or the guy will think you're telling them you want to have sex with them"...
I'm of an older generation. A guy I dated who would be in his 80s now would often say "Old enough to bleed; old enough to slaughter".
wtf did he kill everyone above certain age?
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My then-boyfriend told me he wanted to get me so drunk, he could have sex with me and I wouldn't even know it was happening. When I told him that was rape, and that it would involve being so drunk, I'd have alcohol poisoning (at the very least), he got angry and defensive with me. Year's later, he tried to date rape one of his female friends.
Some dude once asked me to sell my Chinese friend to them. Was the weirdest f*****g thing ever, we went home immediately after that.
*TRIGGER WARNING* I opened up to my (male) friend about my r@pe experience that happened when I was 12, and the first thing he asked "How big was his penis?" -_-
I want to be a teacher when I'm older, and I love being around little kids now, just because I love introducing new things to people and explaining things, and little kids are still so new to the world. Well I have one friend who knows this and for a few weeks every couple of mornings he would "joke" about how I was gonna grow up to be a pedophile and kept making pedophile jokes, and I just kinda said "No I'm not" every morning, until after a few weeks I got tired of it and told him to stop it because those kinds of jokes are never funny, they're not even jokes, and that I'd completely stop talking to him if he kept it up. He stopped, but I don't think he fully gets it yet.
If these posts are true, and I have no reason to believe they are not, as a man, I am sickened by these statements. We need to consider laws that clearly criminalize such statements...they are only a blink away from sexual assault. The creatures making these statements cannot be considered men....but only male vertebrates, who must be culled.
My friend of 8 years told me that he wanted to kill me because life was hell and he wanted to kill everyone he loved to release them from hell. But he said he was selfish and wouldn't do it because then he would miss them. He was dead serious. This happened as I was trying to keep him from leaving my apartment drunk so he wouldn't drive drunk. After he said that, I let him go. He did drive home and got into an argument with his Mom and slapped her. Very sweet woman. 13 years later, he messaged me on Facebook out of the blue saying I needed to die and he could make it happen if I wanted - I don't remember exactly how he phrased it. He had very serious mental issues. The biggest surprise of my personal life is that he never went to jail. Even his best friend of 13 years cut him off and told me to never have anything to do with him (shortly before the incident). He would never tell me why. Just said he was dangerous.
I wish I could round up these men and sentence them to varying degrees of punishment ranging from locked in a room for a few years with nothing but a toilet, bucket of water & soap to wash every few days & two meals a day delivered through a cat flap to taking them out to a field & shooting them in the head. There’s so many of these individuals out there it makes my blood boil, they will assume if a woman is single & they like her that automatically means she must say yes to go out with them, or if they’re nice to the woman, that means again go out with me, women need to be attracted to a man first in most cases & in most cases the men are turned down because … she doesn’t find you attractive douche bag, the fact some men are approaching or talking about children on some of the posts is disturbing af.
I've had multiple men make sexual comments about me. Most of the men I've ever met just wanted me for my body
So many.... I had to stop after a while, because I can feel this murderous rage growing inside me and I really don't want to let it go out of hand. I'm at an age where I usually don't face this stuff any more and thanks to some good self-defence classes I got very few of these interludes when I was young. I want to kill these sexist pos because they are the reason our world is so fcked up - and I think they can sense it and stay away.
A friend of my boyfriend (who I actually hit it off with) told me "it's only rape if it's done with violence". I don't per se believe he ever assaulted any one, and he didn't realise I have experienced rape "in the grey zone" but it's a terrifying confirmation that many men (and women still) don't think of something as rape unless someone is dragged into an alley at knifepoint. You can read it in many of the stories here too. Like, how many friends has he allowed to get away with taking advantage of a drunk woman and such.
My god.... the sheer amount of men who obsess over how easy it could be to seriously harm / kill a woman in A LOT of these is completely terrifying. I am scared for my little girl growing up in this sick world. I will be teaching her about creeps like this though, no daughter of mine will go out with no knowledge of the world.
In High School, in my creative writing class we had a group assignment. These guys I thought were my friends, and who I hung out with in class decided to group together. They wrote about taking me and raping me. They read it out loud to the class. I was terrified and felt violated. The teacher said nothing, the others in class said nothing, so I accepted that it was alright and that I was over-reacting. I know now that it was messed up as all hell and that I was not over reacting. I pushed down my feeling at the time and continued to interact with them despite that. I just have this horrifying fear that because I let it go I enabled them to continue their behavior and opened them up for potential escalation. The truth is that the whole class did.
He didn't say it to me but to everyone in the room. Friend (16M) said "I could do her" while looking at my other friend's little sister (9). Her brother just stopped talking and stared at the wall while my SO and I just stared at each other in shock. He tried to laugh it off as a joke but no one bought it.
At least at this stage, you appear to be acknowledging that men (yes, yes #notallmen) are, pretty awful. Lets walk through the next stage shall we. This is course.... how do we change it?
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No. Check out the endless "women suck" comments, and it's pretty clear the war of the sexes is still being waged from both sides.
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How if it's from the men themselves? I guess men really do hate themselves as well as each other. Only men rape other men. Only men rape animals. Only men rape kids. Only men hate and murder each other. I guess you'd know bc you always sound like you hate yourself.
Load More Replies... A lot of these are involve guys who are nice to women as a payment for sex - and then whinge about being "friendzoned" when they don't get the return on investment they expect. If "friendzoning" is a thing, boys, then so is "fuckzoning", and you do that to too many girls, and I'd argue it's worse to discover someone's only interacting with you because they want what's between your legs than it is because they like you as a person.
Huh, "friendzoning" and 'fuckzoning". Never thought about it but that's a fair comparison.
Load More Replies... Let's be clear: in today's world there isn't a snowflake's chance in hell that these guys haven't heard that and why all this is unacceptable. They know. And they still do it. And their male friends let them. All the talk about 'teaching them about consent' - no. They know. They just don't care, neither do their enablers.
While it’s definitely not a complete solution, we do genuinely need more education on consent. There have been studies where college students only admitted to r*pe when the definition, rather than the term itself, was used. We need to do a better job emphasizing what exactly is unacceptable and will result in severe consequences. Then we need to do a better job following up with consequences instead of letting it slide.
Load More Replies... Every one of these is an example of the quote "Men are afraid women will embarrass them. Women are afraid men will rape and kill them". How the f**k can people (and yes mostly men) continue to be confronted with the reality women face every single day and still insist that we dont have a problem with men and male culture.
My colleague, a professor with whom we were on friendly terms and first name basis, once stated in a very jolly tone that he hates it when his wife cries in front of him and that he feels like slapping her when it happens. At an international conference in front of other professors and researchers from our community, many of whom were female of course.
I never will understand, why some guys are so scared of woman/ girls- they have to possess/ humilate/ haunt us just to feel mightier Stop the hell to get so fragile about your masculinity so we can feel safe again.
Good on you, but that situation is troublesome, if you throw into that mix that the guy who is very attracted to the girl is also highly intoxicated.. it will most likely end up to sex that either or both might regret next day.
Load More Replies... We aren't raising our young men well enough. We allow them to think the most horrifying things without correcting them and we STILL have this who thing about 'boys will be boys' We need to start VERY early teaching them about what is and isn't appropriate behaviour and about WHY that is. There's WAY too much of this. I know men will say 'not all men...' but how is anyone meant to know WHICH men..
Certain people should be locked up and kept away from the rest of society, I'm starting to believe.
I have an ex friend who is basically a sex pest. I've literally had to drag him away from women he's been harassing by the scruff of his neck (apologising to the woman simultaneously). He has mental health problems & he thinks he's God's gift to women despite having the looks & personality of a stillborn turd. He's the kind of person who would take advantage of a drunk/incapacitated woman without a second thought. Luckily he never leaves his house much anymore & his looks/personality prevent any woman getting close to him. I'm no longer his friend, he's done nothing I can get him arrested for (which I would have done at the drop of a hat) but the urge to beat the everloving s**t out of him was becoming too much. I only remained his 'friend' to keep an eye on his behaviour but I could only tolerate so much. If I stayed in contact with him, it would be ME who got arrested, yet he's allowed to continue behaving the way he does because he's dismissed as "harmless" due to mental health.
I've had male friends interested in more. Two had crushes on me and were sweet about it. We stayed on good terms. I even gave one dating advice because I felt he'd make a very good boyfriend for someone else (my advice worked - I'm very happy for him and his wife). The third was crude to me and married at the time. I dumped him.
I was SA'd multiple times as a child. I was afraid of men for the longest time. I was weary of every man my mother would date, my fathers friends, even school mates. It ruined my vision of se*/making love/affection and how it should really be with a spouse. Ruined my first marriage and had trouble in my 2nd (current). I have a daughter now and PRAY that I can teach her to watch out for clues, red flags, etc so she never goes through anything I went through. I will teach my son to always respect women and to NEVER even joke about things like this. I am sorry for all the women in this thread who have had to experience SA. :(
I have a creepy experience with a guy. We were both minors at the time. I had a crush on him, and he had one on me. He once said "I want to have 12 children. We're going to f**k everyday until we do." then went back to eating. I was disgusted and quickly cut ALL ties with him.
This is why my mother carries to this day a grapefruit spoon in her purse. If asked why she took out someone's eyeballs with it, she can say she wanted to match the set of flatware at the store.
I've heard men literally bragging about scaring women by following them and how fun it was to make them terrified and paranoid. It made me both sick and furious. Dudes, this is a good way to get shot by a woman who has had one encounter too many and gets a license to carry. You think it's funny to scare women, but women legitimately fear for their lives when you do this and eventually, one of them WILL resort to (potentially lethal) force to protect themselves. Sure they MAY say 'I was in fear for my life" and get off with nothing or a light sentence. Sure they MAY go to jail for a long time. But you and your "hurr hurr dis iz funny" self is still either severely injured or dead. This is NOT funny. This is NOT a joke.
You know, back in high school sex ed they had us to go through a segment on how to behave on a date. As I was still being forced to pretend I was a guy, I got the guy one. And I was genuinely horrified at the options presented. The fact that anyone would choose any of the ones besides "be a decent human being and respect her" was something I could not even fathom. I genuinely thought those were joke answers. How naive I was... I wonder now what the version they showed my presenting-female classmates was like. Probably mostly "don't do these things or the guy will think you're telling them you want to have sex with them"...
I'm of an older generation. A guy I dated who would be in his 80s now would often say "Old enough to bleed; old enough to slaughter".
wtf did he kill everyone above certain age?
Load More Replies... My then-boyfriend told me he wanted to get me so drunk, he could have sex with me and I wouldn't even know it was happening. When I told him that was rape, and that it would involve being so drunk, I'd have alcohol poisoning (at the very least), he got angry and defensive with me. Year's later, he tried to date rape one of his female friends.
Some dude once asked me to sell my Chinese friend to them. Was the weirdest f*****g thing ever, we went home immediately after that.
*TRIGGER WARNING* I opened up to my (male) friend about my r@pe experience that happened when I was 12, and the first thing he asked "How big was his penis?" -_-
I want to be a teacher when I'm older, and I love being around little kids now, just because I love introducing new things to people and explaining things, and little kids are still so new to the world. Well I have one friend who knows this and for a few weeks every couple of mornings he would "joke" about how I was gonna grow up to be a pedophile and kept making pedophile jokes, and I just kinda said "No I'm not" every morning, until after a few weeks I got tired of it and told him to stop it because those kinds of jokes are never funny, they're not even jokes, and that I'd completely stop talking to him if he kept it up. He stopped, but I don't think he fully gets it yet.
If these posts are true, and I have no reason to believe they are not, as a man, I am sickened by these statements. We need to consider laws that clearly criminalize such statements...they are only a blink away from sexual assault. The creatures making these statements cannot be considered men....but only male vertebrates, who must be culled.
My friend of 8 years told me that he wanted to kill me because life was hell and he wanted to kill everyone he loved to release them from hell. But he said he was selfish and wouldn't do it because then he would miss them. He was dead serious. This happened as I was trying to keep him from leaving my apartment drunk so he wouldn't drive drunk. After he said that, I let him go. He did drive home and got into an argument with his Mom and slapped her. Very sweet woman. 13 years later, he messaged me on Facebook out of the blue saying I needed to die and he could make it happen if I wanted - I don't remember exactly how he phrased it. He had very serious mental issues. The biggest surprise of my personal life is that he never went to jail. Even his best friend of 13 years cut him off and told me to never have anything to do with him (shortly before the incident). He would never tell me why. Just said he was dangerous.
I wish I could round up these men and sentence them to varying degrees of punishment ranging from locked in a room for a few years with nothing but a toilet, bucket of water & soap to wash every few days & two meals a day delivered through a cat flap to taking them out to a field & shooting them in the head. There’s so many of these individuals out there it makes my blood boil, they will assume if a woman is single & they like her that automatically means she must say yes to go out with them, or if they’re nice to the woman, that means again go out with me, women need to be attracted to a man first in most cases & in most cases the men are turned down because … she doesn’t find you attractive douche bag, the fact some men are approaching or talking about children on some of the posts is disturbing af.
I've had multiple men make sexual comments about me. Most of the men I've ever met just wanted me for my body
So many.... I had to stop after a while, because I can feel this murderous rage growing inside me and I really don't want to let it go out of hand. I'm at an age where I usually don't face this stuff any more and thanks to some good self-defence classes I got very few of these interludes when I was young. I want to kill these sexist pos because they are the reason our world is so fcked up - and I think they can sense it and stay away.
A friend of my boyfriend (who I actually hit it off with) told me "it's only rape if it's done with violence". I don't per se believe he ever assaulted any one, and he didn't realise I have experienced rape "in the grey zone" but it's a terrifying confirmation that many men (and women still) don't think of something as rape unless someone is dragged into an alley at knifepoint. You can read it in many of the stories here too. Like, how many friends has he allowed to get away with taking advantage of a drunk woman and such.
My god.... the sheer amount of men who obsess over how easy it could be to seriously harm / kill a woman in A LOT of these is completely terrifying. I am scared for my little girl growing up in this sick world. I will be teaching her about creeps like this though, no daughter of mine will go out with no knowledge of the world.
In High School, in my creative writing class we had a group assignment. These guys I thought were my friends, and who I hung out with in class decided to group together. They wrote about taking me and raping me. They read it out loud to the class. I was terrified and felt violated. The teacher said nothing, the others in class said nothing, so I accepted that it was alright and that I was over-reacting. I know now that it was messed up as all hell and that I was not over reacting. I pushed down my feeling at the time and continued to interact with them despite that. I just have this horrifying fear that because I let it go I enabled them to continue their behavior and opened them up for potential escalation. The truth is that the whole class did.
He didn't say it to me but to everyone in the room. Friend (16M) said "I could do her" while looking at my other friend's little sister (9). Her brother just stopped talking and stared at the wall while my SO and I just stared at each other in shock. He tried to laugh it off as a joke but no one bought it.
At least at this stage, you appear to be acknowledging that men (yes, yes #notallmen) are, pretty awful. Lets walk through the next stage shall we. This is course.... how do we change it?
Load More Replies... No. Check out the endless "women suck" comments, and it's pretty clear the war of the sexes is still being waged from both sides.
Load More Replies... How if it's from the men themselves? I guess men really do hate themselves as well as each other. Only men rape other men. Only men rape animals. Only men rape kids. Only men hate and murder each other. I guess you'd know bc you always sound like you hate yourself.
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