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With so many years of equal rights progression, sadly, we still live in a largely male-dominated society. The dominance over women can be visible in virtually all walks of life, from your workplace to your family or friend circle. Speaking of which, you don’t ever have to be friends with toxic men, or men you don’t feel comfortable with, or women, for that matter. Listen, friends are people we decide to build a friendship with and there’s no obligation.

So this eye-opening Reddit thread comes as a cold shower for any woman out there who realized they overestimated their male friend. “What's the scariest thing a male friend has said to you?” Redditor u/sedbiss asked on the Ask Women subreddit, which is home to a whopping 3.4 million members.

The unsettling stories and genuine, yet very disturbing experiences women had with their male “friends” started coming in, and it makes you realize that some people don’t deserve to get close to you and get a friend tag.

#1

We were about 15, and a friend told me that my 6 year old niece was "hot". Stopped having anything to do with him. About a year later he was arrested for molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18! That was in the 80's and he got 30 years.

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Jihana
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"molesting three girls whose combined age didn't add up to 18" That's the most disturbing sentence I've read in a while.

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#2

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I work in a male-dominated space and they consider me 'one of the boys,' aka they talk s**t without a filter, even when I'm around. The countless number of ugly comments made about women and the amount of pride they have in cheating on their partners is astounding. I remember one of them saying, 'We go for women in their early 20s because they don't know who they are yet, and they can't argue back. They're easier to train and mold.' He was dead serious, and I was disgusted.

AlphaDog94 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

#3

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I knew this guy when I was in 10th grade, he was a senior. We were friends and I made the mistake of letting him walk me home. He showed up unannounced multiple times and said disgusting things the longer this went on. He said he wanted to “breed me so hard that my screams were heard by satan.”

I hate him.

Empty_Excitement_ , Toa Heftiba Report

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Although it's hard to exactly pinpoint why some men act like entitled jerks and have the audacity to tell these things to women, the toxic behavior is partly if not largely blamed on them being insecure. In fact, men who are insecure about their masculinity showcases typical behavior. It manifests in some form of anxiety about a man being presented as a less masculine, more “vulnerable” version of himself.

Such anxiety may be present if a man refuses to carry his girlfriend’s bag, or hesitates to hug his male friends in public. Psychologists believe that these men who aren’t secure in their masculinity are aware that their manhood is precarious and that they may, at any moment, lose manhood status in other people’s eyes.

#4

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I said I was r**ped by my uncle and he said "Lucky uncle"

amoonei , Baptista Ime James Report

#5

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered He said, 'I honestly didn’t care about what he had done to you, I was just listening in the hope that you’d cheat on him with me.' Then I immediately rid him of my life.

MissHagfish , Etienne Boulanger Report

#6

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered If you girls knew how guys talk about you when you can’t hear them, you wouldn’t go near us again.

Yellowmellowbelly , Anna Vander Stel Report

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This belief can be understood as a byproduct of our society that spreads the belief of gender role norms, which are often sexist and imply that gender is a social status that has to be earned.

A 2012 study has shed even more light on how masculine insecurity can predetermine men’s behavior. Scientists conducted an online survey that probed how the male participants perceived masculinity standards and how their own self-image fit in with this perception. The 600 male participants were asked whether they felt as masculine as the average guy or if they wished to be more macho. The survey also included information about the individual's substance use and violent behavior.

#7

In high school, i was SA’d by two male “friends.” This happened at a party in which no one did anything. I didn’t handle the aftermath well (who would) & i threw myself into more reckless decisions(partying, drugs, alcohol, hanging out w the wrong crowd). Anyways, I was at another party that one of my best (male) friends was throwing. I was really drunk & another one of my male friends said to the one throwing the party, “she’s in the perfect state for you to bring her upstairs now.” They had both been at the party I was SA’d at & the one that threw the party was actually the first person to ever ask me if what happened that night was consensual. It almost turned into this joke with everyone that if you got a couple drinks in me that there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do; everyone thought it was funny. I remember when those words left my “friends” mouth then watching the other one just nod, agree, & laugh. I was terrified. The one that threw the party had a crush on me & spent the whole night chasing me to try & apologize. It felt like a part of me split entirely that night when I realized that I was always just an object to the people I thought were my friends; that no one cared about what was done to me & they would do it again. I felt so helpless. It’s been five years since my first assault in high school - still don’t know what those two boys did that night & i don’t want to.

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Joonscrab
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is horrible. I hope you're much happier in life now. They are disgusting.

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#8

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered My male friend once told me that a lady cut him off on the highway, which pissed him off as anyone would be. But instead of just moving on from that, he followed her all the to her house and parked right outside her home so he could 'scare her.' He then laughed and said that she didn’t get out of the car until he drove away. I was f**king horrified when he told me all of this, and I went off on him. I told him how f**ked up it was and how she probably felt scared for her life. He did end up feeling bad about it and told me he was embarrassed and upset that he scared her, but it still doesn’t excuse what he did.

spookydeebs , NeONBRAND Report

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Sam
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

At least this one seemed to have some shame and maaaaybeee learned something

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#9

When I was 17, a guy that I considered a good friend was mad that I rejected him, so he made a profile on an escort website and used my photos and all my personal info. He said it was just a joke. I called the police.

u/International_Fee526 Report

The researchers found that the men with high discrepancy stress were more likely to be violent than the men who were not as concerned about their masculinity. The two groups, however, were not likely to differ significantly in their alcohol and drug use, the scientists said. They also found that these men characterized as having high gender role discrepancy and high discrepancy stress partook in assaults causing injury 348 percent more than men with low discrepancy stress.

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#10

We were coming back from an event with another male friend, mid conversation he said “you’re actually gorgeous, surprised no one has r**ed you yet”. They both just laughed.

Haven’t forgotten and won’t.

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Ansi
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What a beautiful compliment 🤮🤮 (obviously sarcasm, that's discusting and vile)

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#11

A gay, friendly coworker gave me a morning hug and then unhooked my bra. Naturally, I freaked and yelled at him and he just jokingly said, 'I like boys, it’s okay for me to do that!' It was a confusing way to feel violated, but I needed him to understand how disgusting that opinion was, so I made sure he saw me tell other people what happened. He responded the same way a few times until he realized how stupid he sounded.

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Susie Elle
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I would've grabbed him somewhere inappropriate and go "I like girls so it's okay for me to touch you there as I have no sexual intentions" and see how he likes it.

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#12

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered Not a male 'friend' per se, but a male acquaintance said he enjoyed hurting women emotionally and, knowing they liked him, he could then take advantage of their feelings and do what he wanted. This is something most women are probably aware of, but it was shocking how unashamed he was in just saying it out loud.

ParkAvePigeon , Sincerely Media Report

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#13

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I didn’t really know him that well and we were hanging out at a bar. I was about to go to the bathroom and he made a comment about spiking my drink while I was gone. He said it was 'just a joke' but that’s s**t's not funny. I took my drink to the bartender instead and never saw him again.

WillingnessLeft3778 , Pawel Kadysz Report

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Beeps
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Really, why do people do that??? I had a cat sitter once who kept joking about stealing my cats. Obviously never used her again.

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#14

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I used to work in specialized group homes for disabled and aggressive youth. I was 20 at the time and am a woman. My coworker always brought up topics that were horrifying and made me very uncomfortable, but the very worst one was when he said, 'All females have a r**e fantasy' We were alone at 11 p.m. while the kids in the house slept. I left THE MOMENT my shift was over and immediately requested to never be placed with him again.

IsaacDcookie , Abigail Keenan Report

#15

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I told a friend about my sexual assault experience and immediately he said, 'See, that’s why you have to watch who you get involved with.' Basically saying that it’s my fault for not noticing the red flags. Thanks, my guy! I was the one who was assaulted, no need to turn this into an 'I am the wise one' moment.

cosmicpussy69 , Priscilla Du Preez Report

#16

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I was roommates and friends with this guy for years. We were talking one night and he asked if I remembered the party we met at years before, and I said that I couldn't remember any details because I was super drunk. I actually had to be walked home by some kind acquaintances at the party that night. He said he knew, and that he was sober and trying to get me to come home with him, but I got pulled away by those acquaintances. I wanted to cry. This person who I considered a friend, who lived in the bedroom next to me, looked me in the eye and said that he wished he assaulted me. It's probably the worst and scariest thing anyone has ever said to me.

honey_caramel , Alexander Popov Report

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DennyS (denzoren)
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope you left that apartment immediately and found somewhere else to live. That doesn't seem safe.

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#17

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered We had a friend's husband help my husband and I move. My husband went to make another trip to grab more of our things, so my friend's husband and I were alone. He said, 'Man, there’s no way that I would ever leave my wife alone with any of my friends' To this day, I still don’t know what to think about that.

dottiel , Ismael Paramo Report

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Susie Elle
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That apparently he sees women as exotic animals you need to protect from poachers?

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#18

When I was 19 I was out walking in the middle of the night with my two closest guy friends, one of them was quiet, shy, sweet. I had a crush on him. The other one was loud and sometimes annoying, . We were all high. They slowed down and I kept walking. We got to a field we went to all the time. Suddenly they both came up t behind me and the quiet one grabbed my hands and held them behind my back. The other one started putting his hands inside my shirt and pants. When I finally got free the quiet one who was holding my hands said "dude it felt like we were raping her."

Those are words I'll never forget. As weird as it is, what he said effects more than what they did. I never in a million years thought I'd hear those words come out of his lips.

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Ansi
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1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It FELT, it FELT... ? I was assualt! 🤮 That's so horrible. Hope you have people in your life now that is better then that, and you can trust.

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#19

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered About one of our other friends at a barbeque: 'I’ll make my move when she’s drunk enough.' I kept my friend and all other females away from him that night.

queenofeverything_ , Toa Heftiba Report

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Paul C.
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Was at a party one night and guy who I would call an acquaintance more than a friend sidled up to me and pointing to a female friend said "just a couple more drinks and she'll be ready for fun". I turned to him smiling and got close to his face and quietly said "if I see you within ten feet of her I'll put you through the nearest window". He left soon after.

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#20

“That time you passed out drunk at the party, I fingered you.” He also proceeded to tell me how he only became ‘friends’ with me in the first place with the intention of sleeping with me and resorted to non-consensual touching when I didn’t accept his feelings. Real douchebag.

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Iggy
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That is sexual assault and is a matter for the police, if you can face it.

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#21

Not exactly a friend, but a buddy from my travel group, when we had an argument about having/not having kids: "If I could, I would imprison you and f**k you until you get pregnant". Apparently, in his mind i was insane for not wanting kids when i'm an "interesting person".

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Droopsnoot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Keep such dark fantasies to yourself and people you can talk to about such tgings, and even then, be very very careful

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#22

He commented saying my outfit made him want to take me to a dark corner and doing horrible things to me but he can’t because we’re friends and you don’t “do those things” to women you like.

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#23

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered Multiple grown men had told me my entire childhood that I had 'amazing birthing hips.'

Kokadison , Ryan Moreno Report

#24

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered Don’t you ever get scared of being alone with me?

sharazaad , Priscilla Du Preez Report

#25

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered One said something in a group chat saying he’d basically go pull some 'whale,' clearly meaning fat woman if he wanted to get laid. I, being a fat woman, called him on that, then told my friend who he’d clearly had a crush on and had been trying to get together with for a while. It's safe to say she never went out with him.

paranoid-teeth , Natasha Hall Report

#26

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered That he could tell by a woman's scent that she's on her period and whether or not she's a virgin. That was so creepy, I didn't ask for any further details.

u/coffeeblossom , Project IDEA Report

#27

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered A male friend of three years wanted to move into a room that I was vacating. When my housemates chose the other potential renter instead of him, he turned on me, shouting and blaming me for the decision not going his way. His words were something along the lines of 'I should've stopped being friends with you a long time ago when I realized that you wouldn't have sex with me.'

alicelilymoon , Slavcho Malezanov Report

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Nathaniel
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why cannot men be friends with women? Why is it all about sex? I am a straight man, my friends are pretty much all women, and love them as friends.

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#28

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered I was in London with a big group of friends when I was a teenager, two of the boys came over to me and said "that guy over there offered to buy you for the weekend, we want you to pretend to be ok with it, and we will rob him" I was f**king horrified, I hardly knew the boys and this sounded terrifying to me, one of them started getting angry with me and saying I had to because he knew other girls men had tried to do this with, and they needed to learn a lesson.

Still makes my blood run cold, I was 15 by the way.

GemoftheDoon , Eric Ward Report

#29

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered “If you wont kiss me I’ll jump off [region specific] bridge.”

acidboytoy , Loïc Fürhoff Report

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Nathaniel
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why the suicide threats? Why do incels thinks this would ever work?

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Sareaesque
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

because it does, I've had friends who kept getting pulled back in because their partner kept threatening to suicide if they left, and they didn't want that on their conscience. They get gaslighted into thinking it is their fault, and are in too deep to either realise that the threat is empty, or that they are not responsible for what the other person does.

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Panda Kicki
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1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Been there. He said he would kill himself if I didnt come to his place, that he had taken some kind of pills. I called the police , reported possible suicide candidate. They drove there, and he happily opened the door, in a night robe, candles lite, roses on the floor and a romantic supper on the table. He was very dissapointed when it wasnt a young girl but two pissed of old cops. They yelled a lot and told him that next time he will go to psyc ward.

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Katinka Min
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Go on, then. The world will be better off one manipulative c*nt gone

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Rider
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So I don't have a kiss an asshat and I'm helping other women.... Why haven't you jumped yet?

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Ilia Bauer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Incel: “If you wont kiss me I’ll jump off [region specific] bridge.” Me: "Do a back flip."

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Ms.GB
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good luck, I'll dial an ambulance in case you make it.

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KombatBunni
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’d say okay, see you on the evening news. I’ve sat suicide watch more times than I care to count and this gal is all out of f*cks to give to people like that.

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Gypsy Lee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, the world would be a better, safer place then, wouldn't it?

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shodokai
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hang on a second. Let me get video rolling before you jump...

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Signe Manat Hansen
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"that might have worked if I cared at all about whether you're alive or not"

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Nothanks L. Walk
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'd go with him and egg him on. These kinds of personalities are dangerous and need to be weeded out.

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Cath poop
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well ya gotta do what ya gotta do I'd say good knowing you, but it wasn't.

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Lp Johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"WAIT!! Lemme set my camera... Do ya think you'll try for a roll before ya hit the water? That would look GREAT! Ok... 3... 2..." -_-

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Ellen Ranks
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Similar thing was said to me when I was 16 or so. Guy was an ex-addict who had broken wiht all his old friends and was very lonely. i felt sorry for him so I visited him from time to time. He threeatened to go back on drugs if I did not get into a relationship with him. Fortunately I had the presence of mind to tell the guy that I did not believe a relationship based on pity was healthy. He lived.

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UpQuarkDownQuark
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“If you wont kiss me I’ll jump off a bridge.” “Need a ride there?”

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Droopsnoot
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

In my teenage years, I was depressed and sometimes did use this argument to get what I wanted... Others quickly made me stop saying such stuff. Apparently, some idiots never get past that phase

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Raven DeathShade
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was a phase? I was on the verge of committing suicide just a few days ago and didn't mention it because my mom was having a bad day and would think I was faking!

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#30

Someone Asked, "What's The Scariest Thing A Male Friend Has Said To You?", 30 Women Delivered “I’m divorcing my wife for you”

charlotte1255 , Fa Barboza Report

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