42 Situations When You Should Lie, Posted By This TikToker Who Gives Women Safety Tips Interview With Author
Lifestyle expert and former scientist Cathy Pedrayes is best known as TikTok’s ‘Mom Friend.’ She gained her fan following after first sharing a video with random items she stores in her first aid kit to prepare her for everything, whether it’s a diabetic emergency or eye puncture.
Today, Cathy has a whopping 1.6M TikTok followers and 74.9M likes in total, making her platform a popular online destination for smart and useful lifestyle, safety, and daily tips and tricks.
Recently, Cathy has initiated a new series of TikToks that feature real-life situations when it’s best to lie for your safety. From being approached by a stranger in a foreign city to avoiding unwanted attention during a day at college, there’s always a way you can respond without revealing too much or getting stuck in a conversation you never asked for.
More info: TikTok | Instagram | MomFriendGuide.com
Lifestyle expert Cathy has been sharing useful safety tips on when you should lie and her videos are going viral on TikTok
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Bored Panda talked to Cathy Pedrayes, the creator of the “Mom Friend Guide,” who’s widely popular on TikTok, where her practical videos gained well over 100 million views in the course of 2 months. Today, she has a whopping 1.7M followers loving her content.
“I was taught about safety from an early age, probably not much different from what most parents teach their kids but I always had an interest in being prepared,” Cathy told us in an interview. “For example, I took a 4-month-long first aid course when I realized I didn’t know how to react in most emergency scenarios.”
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The content creator said that she didn’t think of herself as unique in terms of following her safety habits. “I thought I was being a good citizen, learning good habits, but my awareness changed when I started working as a host on national television. Suddenly I was exposed to risks, threats, and some extreme stalking cases, which opened my eyes to a new world of safety and security.”
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At that moment, Cathy realized everything we do is public and there was little education on protecting ourselves. “When I started my TikTok, I was posting random videos not knowing my approach to safety and security was unique. But when TikTok saw how overly prepared I was, they dubbed me the Mom Friend of the Group, and that helped me realize I had a lot to share,” Cathy explained.
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When asked how the idea for her series “Situations When It’s Best to Lie” came about, Cathy said it happened because of a few things. “My mentor at QVC (where I was host) taught me to lie when people asked where I lived. A little lie like ’15 min. down the road.’ This question came up so often, but her little tip helped me feel prepared every time.”
“With quarantine I had forgotten about that tip, but when I was at the grocery store, someone was making restaurant recommendations and asked me where I lived in order to recommend some places nearby—immediately a red flag went up and that event sparked the Situations When It’s Best To Lie series.” Since then, the creator has shared over 60 situations which, on the surface, may seem innocent, but can actually be risky.
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Street harassment is not just a mere nuisance, it’s a complex societal problem that’s been overlooked for way too long. A 2014 survey commissioned by Stop Street Harassment, a nonprofit that works to document and end street harassment, showed that 65 percent of all women in the US said they had experienced street harassment.
Moreover, in the 2,000-person nationally representative poll, 23 percent of US women said they’d been touched and 20 percent had been followed. Among men, about a quarter surveyed said they had been harassed on the street.
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Another survey of 612 women from 2000 found that women in all areas experience street harassment: 90 percent in rural areas, 88 percent in suburban areas, and 87 percent in urban areas. So it’s not just a big city problem.
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Approaching women on streets reinforces their sense of powerlessness and damages their sense of self. “Without doubt, at the heart of harassment is a deep disrespect or disregard for women as equals, as something more than an object, a body, a sexual being,” says Susanne Legena, Plan Australia’s chief executive officer.
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This makes me mad. You shouldn't Have to make up lies, you should be able to just say "not interested, leave me alone please" to all of those.
I agree, it's unfortunate that in this day and age, people still won't respect a person's (especially a woman's) privacy without you making up a lie of some sort.
We have to lie. If a potential perpetrator wishes to harm me and I anwer his questions honestly and he finds out I'm alone, I might be in serious trouble. In my experience, they go away when they find out I'm waiting for a friend. Some people here don't seem to understand that it could be a life or death situation. Being assertive might trigger aggression. The most important thing is that we keep ourselves safe.
@LesAnimaux, being not-assertive could also trigger aggression. Especially if the perp decides to call your bluff. Many of these are very contextual, too. It'd be pretty awkward trying to check into a hotel, after telling the helpful staff person that you're meeting somebody. Though, I gotta say, if you get asked if you're working alone, you should probably also kick them out.
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✅✅I love sending (●̮̮̃●̃) pics ;) ⚡⚡ ==>> m︆︆u︆︆b.︆︆︆me/usergirl4578
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Be assertive. Don't lie. You don't even have to tell them you're not interested. Ignore them, if they don't get the message, tell them to move along. If they then have the audacity to keep going, call the police. See how fast they run. Also practice raising one eyebrow. Eye rolls work wonders too. And they are the absolute opposite of lying, because, ugh.
Gosh, wouldn't THAT be NICE! Unfortch, we live in a world where women are stalked, harassed, beaten, raped and killed for saying no to men, and you never know which ones are going to be the freaks who go off on you. So, please pull your head out of your ass before telling women how to handle nosy men in order to stay safe. Because, ugh. Strangers invading your space aren't owed truth. Thanks!
Yes, but between the idea and reality falls the shadow (TS Eliot). We can both aspire to a better world AND live in the imperfect one we have.
Sorry it makes you sad that we have to lie, we're just trying to make it home alive and preferably not raped on the way
Yea but just like how "sorry" doesnt fix everything these people are relentless unless they know someone is gonna find out
For people without much self-confidence, these advices are certainly useful, but they intensify the problem and strengthen the victim mechanisms. It should be taught in school that a consistent "No!" or "I'm not interested!" can prevent a lot of annoying situations.
sometimes it's a little fun to lie to get out of a bad situation--like a secret agent
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And most of the time you can. Most guys aren't assholes. It's articles like this one that "program" women to think that most men are going to harm them.
PROGRAM? Most guys aren't assholes. Women have been harmed by assholes. Our gut tells us what to do. Read a little Gavin DeBecker. We aren't PROGRAMMED to think most men are assholes, but trust...we know when we meet one. Are you a 'good/nice' guy? Thought so.
Not all men but enough men.
No, it's the personal experiences we and our friends, sisters, mothers, aunts, nieces etc etc etc have had. Probably with guys like you and your friends.
Yeah, or tell that to the stalker who used to masturbate on my window at night in college, or to the guy who tried to drag me into his van one summer while on family vacation. It was just lucky my dad came out of the gas station when he did. These things change you. You thought you knew the world, but you didn't. Now, you always have to worry. It never goes away.
Once a drunk guy approched me on my way home, asked if i life alone and i just lied and said i have a very protective rottweiler named bonny at home. He was like: ok cool, bye!
I do have a very protective dog named Bonnie! She's the best!
So, Tam just lied that she is you. Bonnie must be such a good girl.
I often make point of commenting how protective my dog can be... even though he’s never attacked anyone... ever.
I am going to use this is this ever happens you're a genius
When I grow I’m gonna get a BIG dog, like a Newfoundland, and train it to growl on command. Obviously not a mane dog, but if someone bothering me I can ask it to growl and scare people away
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"You're drunk, piss off", works wonders too.
Rissie, that can be dangerous. The reason so many women lie is because you never know who will indeed "piss off" and who'll flip out
Judging by RIssies comments. Rossie doesn't care. Probably one of those 'nice guys'
Or a man who doesn't like women or girls. His trying to force us to be in very dangerous situations. Please don't take his advice, your life depends on keeping calm and you should protect yourself by any means possible, if lying is the way to protect yourself there's no shame. Take care ladies.
And sometimes it gets you stalked, beaten, raped or killed. Unless you have some sort of superpower that lets you determine the good guys from the violent weirdos?
Even harder to do when the self-proclaimed good guys are actually Good Guys™️ who turn into creeps (at best) if they aren’t getting what they want from you.
Not sure if just me, but I don't see anything wrong with placing a delivery for food and giving them my first name. They ask it for a reason, after all, and I am calling a restaurant, too.
When the food delivery arrives and it's not the right name the order probably won't be handed out to me(F) if I said it's for "Mario". I don't understand asking a male to register a message on your phone for you either, especially if you have a smartphone...
I've never had a delivery person ask me for ID to confirm I'm the person they're looking for, delivery people focus on whether it's the right address or not. All of my accounts are always set up as Kiem although Kiem is not my name, it's a play on initials and I've NEVER had an issue receiving food/packages/services with Kiem as my name.
That isn’t true at all. My boyfriend and I regularly receive food on each other’s behalf. I’m sure most of the food-ordering population does.
Not the delivery service in my city, if it's not my name they just don't hand it over to me. I wanted to take one while my sister who ordered it was occupied on the phone, but the delivery guy refused and waited for her to finish and come get it in person (we're in a small french city for context)
Initials or not gender-specific shortened or nickname instead of full first name might do in this case.
unless you have an extremely unique first name, a first name is not going to get you into trouble. Besides, you think a pizza guy is going to remember your name, from one order, after receiving literally hundreds of orders?
I think she renamed her Siri to Dad so that when she says siri can you record a voicemail for me, it's dad can you record a voicemail for me.
two reasons: first, the person taking your order isn't usually the delivery guy, and the delivery guy might only want to take girl names if you get my drift. second, I've (M) left my voice on my girlfriends phone when she had to give her voicemail to a repairman who was creeping on her. after the work was done, he kept bugging her. so I recorded my message, pretending that I just got a new phone number, and we left it for a week or so, then changed it back. anyone who was actually calling her was family anyway, and knew why we changed the VM, so she didn't miss any important calls.
Right, and Donald J Trump assumed that you needed ID to buy a box of cereal.
I always give my initials because it's much more difficult to mispell or mishear. For some reason, this seems to upset some people.
Some places won’t be okay with you giving a name that doesn’t match the card information.
This makes me mad. You shouldn't Have to make up lies, you should be able to just say "not interested, leave me alone please" to all of those.
I agree, it's unfortunate that in this day and age, people still won't respect a person's (especially a woman's) privacy without you making up a lie of some sort.
We have to lie. If a potential perpetrator wishes to harm me and I anwer his questions honestly and he finds out I'm alone, I might be in serious trouble. In my experience, they go away when they find out I'm waiting for a friend. Some people here don't seem to understand that it could be a life or death situation. Being assertive might trigger aggression. The most important thing is that we keep ourselves safe.
@LesAnimaux, being not-assertive could also trigger aggression. Especially if the perp decides to call your bluff. Many of these are very contextual, too. It'd be pretty awkward trying to check into a hotel, after telling the helpful staff person that you're meeting somebody. Though, I gotta say, if you get asked if you're working alone, you should probably also kick them out.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
✅✅I love sending (●̮̮̃●̃) pics ;) ⚡⚡ ==>> m︆︆u︆︆b.︆︆︆me/usergirl4578
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
Be assertive. Don't lie. You don't even have to tell them you're not interested. Ignore them, if they don't get the message, tell them to move along. If they then have the audacity to keep going, call the police. See how fast they run. Also practice raising one eyebrow. Eye rolls work wonders too. And they are the absolute opposite of lying, because, ugh.
Gosh, wouldn't THAT be NICE! Unfortch, we live in a world where women are stalked, harassed, beaten, raped and killed for saying no to men, and you never know which ones are going to be the freaks who go off on you. So, please pull your head out of your ass before telling women how to handle nosy men in order to stay safe. Because, ugh. Strangers invading your space aren't owed truth. Thanks!
Yes, but between the idea and reality falls the shadow (TS Eliot). We can both aspire to a better world AND live in the imperfect one we have.
Sorry it makes you sad that we have to lie, we're just trying to make it home alive and preferably not raped on the way
Yea but just like how "sorry" doesnt fix everything these people are relentless unless they know someone is gonna find out
For people without much self-confidence, these advices are certainly useful, but they intensify the problem and strengthen the victim mechanisms. It should be taught in school that a consistent "No!" or "I'm not interested!" can prevent a lot of annoying situations.
sometimes it's a little fun to lie to get out of a bad situation--like a secret agent
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
And most of the time you can. Most guys aren't assholes. It's articles like this one that "program" women to think that most men are going to harm them.
PROGRAM? Most guys aren't assholes. Women have been harmed by assholes. Our gut tells us what to do. Read a little Gavin DeBecker. We aren't PROGRAMMED to think most men are assholes, but trust...we know when we meet one. Are you a 'good/nice' guy? Thought so.
Not all men but enough men.
No, it's the personal experiences we and our friends, sisters, mothers, aunts, nieces etc etc etc have had. Probably with guys like you and your friends.
Yeah, or tell that to the stalker who used to masturbate on my window at night in college, or to the guy who tried to drag me into his van one summer while on family vacation. It was just lucky my dad came out of the gas station when he did. These things change you. You thought you knew the world, but you didn't. Now, you always have to worry. It never goes away.
Once a drunk guy approched me on my way home, asked if i life alone and i just lied and said i have a very protective rottweiler named bonny at home. He was like: ok cool, bye!
I do have a very protective dog named Bonnie! She's the best!
So, Tam just lied that she is you. Bonnie must be such a good girl.
I often make point of commenting how protective my dog can be... even though he’s never attacked anyone... ever.
I am going to use this is this ever happens you're a genius
When I grow I’m gonna get a BIG dog, like a Newfoundland, and train it to growl on command. Obviously not a mane dog, but if someone bothering me I can ask it to growl and scare people away
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
"You're drunk, piss off", works wonders too.
Rissie, that can be dangerous. The reason so many women lie is because you never know who will indeed "piss off" and who'll flip out
Judging by RIssies comments. Rossie doesn't care. Probably one of those 'nice guys'
Or a man who doesn't like women or girls. His trying to force us to be in very dangerous situations. Please don't take his advice, your life depends on keeping calm and you should protect yourself by any means possible, if lying is the way to protect yourself there's no shame. Take care ladies.
And sometimes it gets you stalked, beaten, raped or killed. Unless you have some sort of superpower that lets you determine the good guys from the violent weirdos?
Even harder to do when the self-proclaimed good guys are actually Good Guys™️ who turn into creeps (at best) if they aren’t getting what they want from you.
Not sure if just me, but I don't see anything wrong with placing a delivery for food and giving them my first name. They ask it for a reason, after all, and I am calling a restaurant, too.
When the food delivery arrives and it's not the right name the order probably won't be handed out to me(F) if I said it's for "Mario". I don't understand asking a male to register a message on your phone for you either, especially if you have a smartphone...
I've never had a delivery person ask me for ID to confirm I'm the person they're looking for, delivery people focus on whether it's the right address or not. All of my accounts are always set up as Kiem although Kiem is not my name, it's a play on initials and I've NEVER had an issue receiving food/packages/services with Kiem as my name.
That isn’t true at all. My boyfriend and I regularly receive food on each other’s behalf. I’m sure most of the food-ordering population does.
Not the delivery service in my city, if it's not my name they just don't hand it over to me. I wanted to take one while my sister who ordered it was occupied on the phone, but the delivery guy refused and waited for her to finish and come get it in person (we're in a small french city for context)
Initials or not gender-specific shortened or nickname instead of full first name might do in this case.
unless you have an extremely unique first name, a first name is not going to get you into trouble. Besides, you think a pizza guy is going to remember your name, from one order, after receiving literally hundreds of orders?
I think she renamed her Siri to Dad so that when she says siri can you record a voicemail for me, it's dad can you record a voicemail for me.
two reasons: first, the person taking your order isn't usually the delivery guy, and the delivery guy might only want to take girl names if you get my drift. second, I've (M) left my voice on my girlfriends phone when she had to give her voicemail to a repairman who was creeping on her. after the work was done, he kept bugging her. so I recorded my message, pretending that I just got a new phone number, and we left it for a week or so, then changed it back. anyone who was actually calling her was family anyway, and knew why we changed the VM, so she didn't miss any important calls.
Right, and Donald J Trump assumed that you needed ID to buy a box of cereal.
I always give my initials because it's much more difficult to mispell or mishear. For some reason, this seems to upset some people.
Some places won’t be okay with you giving a name that doesn’t match the card information.