30 Unpleasant Things Very Smart People Have To Live With, As Shared By Folks In This Online Group
A lot of us are on a constant journey to improve our minds. We read books, watch films, study and otherwise educate and better ourselves so that we can become more intelligent in various ways. However, some people are just born smart and talented in some ways, requiring less effort to achieve certain things that others might struggle with. Contrary to what some might believe, being smart is not always a blessing.
Someone created a thread on the r/AskReddit subreddit, asking about the hardships smart people have to live with, exactly because of their high intelligence, and folks delivered plenty of observations, most of which are quite heavy. Scroll down to see the whole list of things people online shared and consider upvoting the entries you relate to the most, as well as leaving a comment.
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Being smart enough to know you're right while dealing with people too stupid to know they're wrong is soul crushing.
There are different types of intelligence. Being good at physics doesn't mean that you should manage people.
So very true. You need emotional intelligence and ability to put yourself in others shoes to know how to motivate and support. Know this from being under terrible bosses, wonderful bosses and being a lead myself.
They are full of doubt compared to people who are not smart
Our school system (Australia) isn't built to deal with them. It crushes bright kids down to everyone else's level.
The usual solution is just to give them extra work to do on top of the assigned work, when they finish that too fast. But to a kid, that's a punishment. In this way achieving beyond a certain accepted parameter is quietly discouraged.
This is the worst. When i realized it I haven't said anything and i'd rather draw on my paper, book etc. It's boring when i finish something that i have half an hour in few minutes and i'm stupid for teachers because i have everything covered with my drawings
The rewards come later in life. I'm paid to do a 36 hour week. I finish my work in about eight to ten hours. I'm still getting praise and have turned down promotions as that would mean having to cut back on my spare time.
Load More Replies...Just like in adult life; done all your tasks at your job? Great! Now your boss will give you more to do, most beyond what you're being paid to do.
I once worked as a cook and had no break in a eight hour shift. One day I busted asd so I could dit while eating. When boss saw me, he had me help the dishwasher.
Load More Replies...It's terrible. At my school (private, but not fancy shmancy), the music kids get a million dollar performing arts complex, the sports kids get heaps of areas and amazing programs with a massive awards ceremony, and the academic kids just get a quarter of the after school care room (in primary) and a pdf certificate online if they get good enough grades every term...
Went to a college that had thousands of students living on campus, new quad dorms with kitchens for the football team but one floor of one dorm for the gifted.
Load More Replies...In my secondary school (uk) I was put into the top class for English, yet even there, the kids would either refuse to read, or could barely even read at all, they would read so slowly in a robotic, monotone kind of voice.. it did drive me insane... I'd been reading at an adult level from the age of 5, so at the time, also having aspergers, I didn't understand why these kids couldn't read properly. Now I realise it was probably because they didn't have parents that encouraged them. So their learned attitude was to not even bother or try in some cases. Some people probably think "why read when you can do this instead?" it's pretty sad tbh...
I was considered gifted in language and reading in secondary school, however, I was not put into the gifted class because I struggled with math. In the United Kingdom and United States, the gifted class meant that you excelled at both language arts and math. It was so incredibly frustrated because I would be reading these advanced books and loved language learning, and the gifted class got to do all of these wonderful things.
Load More Replies...I was bored all day in school and they’re only solution was to give me more stupid easy worksheets. All we did in class was worksheets and we didn’t even discuss them.
That is how government run schools work, it is to create a lowest common denominator education to meet graduation rates rather than educate. Its why school choice is very important, to allow people to educate their children as they see fit with many options. Like what Denmark has
It's not just Australia and it's not just smart kids. Children learn in different ways and there's barely an attempt to incorporate that idea in the classroom and even if there was the resources usually wouldn't be there to support it. Then there's the teachers, who are also crushed by the system they work in (in the US for sure).
I am the type that if you gave me all the work for the entire curriculum for all subjects except maths because that was my one weak point at the start of term and just left me to my own devices I would have everything done well before the end of term.
Load More Replies...When I was in high school I started with honors classes in freshman year and took AP classes in sophomore. I failed the AP classes miserably and had to retake the class during the summer. It was the same information, literally the same book, but less work. Guess who switched to the remedial classes the next semester.
This is absolutely true. As a teacher, we are trained to do just that, and not to acknowledge that some kids are brighter than others.
This isn't just Australia. It is a difficulty with any large public education system. If the system is designed to be equitable, then the promotion of mediocrity is always going to be the norm. For this reason, a lot of school systems are now treating "gifted" kids in a separate system, often run within the context of special education. This is particularly helpful, as a lot of people maybe extraordinary in some areas, while struggling in others. My middle child is seven, with the vocabulary and story telling skills of an adult, and well over her grade in mathematics, but she has severe dyslexia, and motor skills delay. She is only now able to physically grip a pencil. The schools refer to this as "twice exceptional", so she is "gifted" in some areas, delayed in others.
Exactly! I used to love school (still in high school), intermediate was great, we learnt interesting things. And the high school felt like it crushed me down to everyone's level and I've been bored ever since. And when there is interesting work I struggle to find it interesting or motivated to do it (although that might be from ADHD). I totally get it
they do have academies now for brighter students, for example in Queensland
That's when, as a teacher, I came up with some kind of non-graded, for fun project they wanted to do. Build a model, work on other homework, etc. Quite often, though, a lot of them just wanted to SLEEP. I was fine with that and just said if an admin comes in the room, look busy. They understood I knew they needed sleep, rest, time off; they also understood it doesn't look good for a kid to sleep in class. Luckly, most admins didn't come in often or for long.
That's nota punishment, I had a pupil who loved her extra stuff, because she was bored otherwise.
When my son was in elementary school, he was talking as the teacher was starting a new topic. She asked him if he'd like to take the final exam right now. I was called to the school because he passed the exam but was "misbehaving". I had words with the principal but the teacher wasn't in this meeting. I discovered that my son's teacher went home because she was upset that my son passed the exam.
As a retired teacher, I can spot a bored, under-stimulated kid a mile off, and your son was one. It sucks that most schools, and most teachers, don't have the time, supplies, or mental bandwidth to provide for those who are light years above peers. Takes a lot of conversation, planning, strategizing so a kid will feel stimulated, interested, and not punished or over-worked. I hope he got to do more of what he wanted to do as school went on.
Load More Replies...Yes coming from australia the school system for smart/fastlearning or gifted people like me is really, really s**t. they have excuses for almost everything
George Land The Failure Of Success https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfKMq-rYtnc&feature=youtu.be&t=5m29s
Do not agree! If you don’t give him extra you will have 2 people that know the same thing but took different time to learn it. You give him extra because he has the opportunity to learn more because of his gift. But that extra needs to be something else.
It's normal all over the world. The average is the majority so if you stood out, there needs to be some way to keep you in line. If this is not done, there can be no "harmony" as they put it back in the day. I understood this early on so I just go to school enough to not get expelled. But since I still aced all the exams they had no reason to kick me out.
All of my school books from elementary school share a similarity: "Dont work so quickly! You're doing too much!"
An advanced learning program run by average teachers is built to fail. They can't even imagine the progress that could be made.
The Powers that be don't want Trees, with their different shades abilities and different kinds of wood and different work for different leaves and roots and branches and limbs. They send kids to school to become PENCILS. All uniform and alike: mindless "patriotic" sticks worshipping the almighty dollar and willing to sacrifice... er... "invest" their entire lives, souls, spirits, and bodies to the western, capitalist, "dream" of grinding til you die...for OTHERS to get rich.
this is preparing for workforce - when you good at your job, they will make you do everyone else's jobs too
It's like that in American schools too. My teachers asked me to tutor the struggling students. And I got teased and bullied.
"Educational" systems everywhere primarily exist to produce obedient citizens. Those who are more intelligent and/or independent thinkers will never do well in institutions designed to "equalize" everyone. Wasn't it Lenin who said "The nail that sticks up, gets hammered."
Sadly, few school systems can properly deal with highly bright students. Many are more intelligent than their teachers who have fragile egos and lack the skills to challenge the students. The students know this and lose respect for their teachers and frequently, behavioral problems follow. It's best these students go to an advanced charter or private school.
I actually loved extra "work" because it didn't feel like work. Until high school, haha.
I often hesitate to talk about this too open, but ... you're right. I'm not the smartest of them all, but the incompetence and sheer neglect towards everyone whose trouble doesn't consist of not getting something. My relation to authority got shattered within the first week of school.
My English teacher in junior high told my grandparents that I need to "dumb it down because it makes the other kids look bad." My grandparents were livid.
I was one of these kids. I was once accused of stealing something from the cafeteria. I didn't do it but got punished anyway. Punishment was in-school suspension. I was sent to a room by myself with one teacher, all day every day for a week. I was handed a week's worth of classwork for 7 classes. I sat down in my little cubicle and started working. I FINISHED 5 days' worth of work for 7 classes in an HOUR AND A HALF. with 98% accuracy. Yet, I was labeled the stupid one...
Myself not bright enough to skip grades, but always waiting. Same BS reward of "more work since he obviously enjoys it". EFFIN NO! I developed a bad habit of coasting to a B average, which totally killed my academic aspirations. K-12 system in North America designed to pound you down into a component of the factory machine.
Plus you have to put up with all those creatures down there that can kill you!
This is a byproduct of liberalism to be honest. The loser is celebrated by crushing the winners. There is little to no encouragement for poor performance or average performance to be improved upon, instead it gets celebrated while high performance is considered arrogant and discouraged. This is often perpetrated by winners who attained their position by working the system instead of hard work and they will do anything to make sure they keep their position. It's not just a symptom of liberalism, there are plenty of conservatives who learned from the opposites to work the system the same way.
Going from being homeschooled to public school in 11th grade (and in dual enrollment classes) has made me realize this. The American education system is not built for people who actually want to learn and apply their knowledge and it's frustrating as heck
That's rather an optimistic take on it. Just because that's the protocol doesn't mean more overt forms of "discouragement" aren't occurring.
It’s the parents responsibility to support bright kids in areas they excel. Teachers most likely don’t have time nor resources to even notice.
about 6 to 8 hours a day, five days a week, a child is at school. For a quarter to a third of the time, it is the teacher's responsability.
Load More Replies... Sad_But_Realistic said:
Expectations...
Sownd_Rum replied:
This is the killer. If you are "gifted", having an average life is seen as a failure.
The secret is to not let on that you're gifted. Play it off as a fluke, or fake a counterpoint weakness that makes it seem less impressive. The metagame of life is far deeper than most of us realize.
Common sense is not a gift, it is a punishment. Because you have to deal with everyone who doesn’t have it.
They have no effect on dumb people's opinions
YourFatherHere1 said:
Intelligence doesn’t always mean wisdom.
Therandomfox replied:
Intelligence is knowing how to bring back dinosaurs from the dead.
Wisdom is knowing that that's a bad idea.
Intelligence means knowing a tomato is a fruit, wisdom is knowing that you don't use it in a fruit salad.
They are often miserable, and able to thoroughly understand their misery and failures.
All the “smart kids” that turned into smart adults are severely burnt out and need a break for everything
Hard to find other people who think and/or feel as deeply as you do.
Not being inherently competitive but able to be crushed instantly by failure.
It can be very lonely
Some structures in behaviour, relationships and communications are just annoying repeating circles and far too shallow Hard to blend in, Very often you feel just like an alien trying to adapt to the joy of lightweighted conversations Often seems to be some kind of arrogance but from this side of the fence its just pure deep sadness and loneliness- and the wish to be more like other people Not easy to be happy here in my mind
Expectations
Never learning to study until it is too late
Being forced to learn outside of your age related interests
Being terrified of failure
Not being able to balance ambition and said fear of failure
Once again, expectations. My mother put so much pressure on me at such a young age I couldn't handle it. I have done well for myself as an adult, but will never be able to live up to those expectations set by her and others. I should probably go back to therapy.
The sad truth is that being smart isn't even a particuarly good indicator in living a happy and fulfilling life. You could be extremely smart and intelectually capable, but if you got beat up as a kid, your parents died, you developed some personality disorder etc., you're way worse off than someone well adjusted with a below average intelligence
There's different levels of "smartness" and different smart people go about life in different ways. But, i think universally young prodigies are typically isolated. They are at a level far above children their age, but are far younger than the people that match intellectually with (lacking life experience). Either way, a young prodigy can't connect with either group.
Many very intelligent young people are poorly stimulated and challenged. Without the proper mental exercise they're unlikely to live up to their potential.
Even with it, we may choose not to live up to what *others* expect. Maybe we'd like to have fun, not just live according to our "potential"/"intellect", etc.
It's sad to see dumb people making a dumb decision in front of your eyes and not be able to do anything but only give them advice. Most helpful advice are a waste.
Most dumb people argue a lot instead of reflecting as well using critical thinking. So you will never win an arguement against a dump or bias person. So just walk away and tell them they are right.
They don't always find ways of living up to their potential.
"You can do better - you're smarter than this!" - "If I'm smarter, why don't you listen to me?" - "Don't be a smart-@ss!"
Mental illness rates are dramatically higher -_-
We waste them. Our entirely social structure from schools to mortgages are design for people with very average intellectually abilities. Smart people have to deal with the daily stress of living in a system that isn’t built for them and loose a lot of their productivity and take a real hit to their mental health as a result. If we stopped subjecting them to standardised systems designed against them just imagine how much further we would have advanced as a species.
EDIT: Just a small edit to clear up some confusion. I’m not advocating for redesigning our social structure to suit only the smartest x percent of our population. For those who aren’t familiar with inclusive design (mostly talked about when talking about designing digital systems but the principle is cross applicable) the basic idea is to design systems that provide room for different people to be able to use/fit into the system equally well despite their differences. There is absolutely no reason why we all have to live the same way or why we should be forcing people to live in a world that doesn’t have room for people like them.
Many are just suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect and don’t know it
We all do. In fact, brilliant people can be the worst about it. “I’m a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and a classically trained cellist…therefore I’m qualified to speak at length and with authority about literally everything else!”
smart does not automatically mean:
- ethical
- empathic
- conscientious
- realistic
- creative
- prosocial
A lot of the “smart kids” in high school are being forced by their parents to succeed. When they become adults they have all the academic skills but little life skills and they struggle to succeed.
Lots of people will be jealous of them and resent them, including family members.
I think truly smart people, those genuinely rare geniuses, are so smart that the rest of us can’t even comprehend it.
It must be a very strange feeling going through life knowing that most people just can’t see and understand the things you do.
Not a genius-level example. I once had to explain in a business meeting for around 90 minutes why we couldn't add an inch to only one side of a square and have it still be a square. I assume this is what smart people in smart professions have to deal with all too often.
Intelligent people can't state that they're intelligent because people view that as a sign of not being intelligent. But also if you lord yourself around for being intelligent, there's the implication that you're belittling everyone around you by saying you're better than them. And people don't like that. If other people recognize a person as intelligent and respect that then there are no problems, but a lot of the times people won't do that because it gets in the way of their own pride (and if they do, then I find they're more likely to have more insecurities/less self-esteem). Then there's also the fact that intelligence is often conflated with success. Basically, people suck at gauging other people's intelligence, and that causes problems.
Feel they cant have fun because they analyze everything
Like the fact that the previous post says loose not lose but if I point it out I’m a jerk but I can’t not see it and get annoyed when I’m just trying to read BP for fun?
Plenty of smart people will live their whole lives never realizing they're smart.
I hate finding instant solutions to problems, being ignored and then hearing the same solution a half year later from a team of highly paid 'experts'.
So true. Years ago, I told my old boss that we should have an Instagram account. He, who thought he was so much smarter than I am, gave me a list of all the reasons why that was a bad idea. Cue six months later and we're having a company meeting where he says we're going to start an Instagram account and he wants me to run it because I know it more than anyone else. Some social media expert told him it was a good idea. He didn't even acknowledge that I had already suggested it.
Load More Replies...Because it's a b******t thread created by miserable people who aren't as smart as they think they are. Smart people are less likely to have mental health problems and more likely to be happy and satisfied with their lives, not angst-ridden overachievers with imposter syndrome.
Load More Replies...This was frustrating with all the misspellings about the lives of intelligent people.
Here's another perspective from someone of above average intelligence. Don't take yourself so seriously and enjoy the stupid people like you're at a zoo. This post was unnecessarily morbid.
Thing is everyone is stupid in some fields, or know nothing about some things. We humans are usually only good at a fairly narrow and specific field. Trick is to acknowledge that and realise that in some cases we don't know enough to know how little we know. Example, a space engineer may be rubbish as a nurse. Or a banker may not be the brightest around when it comes to nurse a sick cow back to health. And the dude nursing said cow may be rubbish in economics Yet, in some proffessions it seems that people think they are the smartest in the room no matter what the topic is.
"Intelligence" and "education" are not mutually inclusive--it is possible to be smart and not have gotten certain skills, so let's back down on that as a judgment on the ideas in this list. What bothers me more is the number of the people who comment on every post: smart people know that it is better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are stupid, than to open your mouth and confirm their suspicions.
There really are a LOT of different kinds of intelligence. Some people are good are remembering stuff and repeating stuff they read. Some people are good at puzzles and figuring stuff out. Some people are brilliant with machines, or fixing things, or building things. Some people are innovators and creators. Some aren't good at inventing stuff, but are very good at understanding it and explaining it to others. One of the smartest people I ever knew had the simplest vocabulary, but he could explain complex math in a way that even I could understand it. Some people are wise, make good decisions, have a good way of interacting with others. There are so many ways to be "smart". Even though Einstein actually probably never really said this, it's not any less a good quote: Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.
Sometimes stupid people make me realize how intelligent I am, to the point I started doubting my intelligence due to the possibility of me overestimating it. Doubting it made me even more confident in my intelligence, in fact I am so confident in my intelligence now, that I must be stupid.
I’m privileged to know a lot of people with a lot of letters after their name. The first thing you will notice about them is that they are self effacing and very aware of their own limitations. The second thing you notice is that those limits include knowing how to cook anything more complicated than cornflakes, knowing what year it is and how to wear more than one set of clothing. They will all tell you that book smart doesn’t mean life smart.
I knew a couple, both professors at a top university, always at the top of their classes in school. They adamantly refused to allow their daughters to be put into "advanced" or "gifted" classes. For her sixth grade science project, the bigger daughter explored the role of the Mongolian pony in the conquests of Genghis Khan. Smart kids will find their own way.
A main one is missing: therapy doesn't work for them most of the time. Shrinks are not trained adequately or the connection just doesn't happen.
I hate finding instant solutions to problems, being ignored and then hearing the same solution a half year later from a team of highly paid 'experts'.
So true. Years ago, I told my old boss that we should have an Instagram account. He, who thought he was so much smarter than I am, gave me a list of all the reasons why that was a bad idea. Cue six months later and we're having a company meeting where he says we're going to start an Instagram account and he wants me to run it because I know it more than anyone else. Some social media expert told him it was a good idea. He didn't even acknowledge that I had already suggested it.
Load More Replies...Because it's a b******t thread created by miserable people who aren't as smart as they think they are. Smart people are less likely to have mental health problems and more likely to be happy and satisfied with their lives, not angst-ridden overachievers with imposter syndrome.
Load More Replies...This was frustrating with all the misspellings about the lives of intelligent people.
Here's another perspective from someone of above average intelligence. Don't take yourself so seriously and enjoy the stupid people like you're at a zoo. This post was unnecessarily morbid.
Thing is everyone is stupid in some fields, or know nothing about some things. We humans are usually only good at a fairly narrow and specific field. Trick is to acknowledge that and realise that in some cases we don't know enough to know how little we know. Example, a space engineer may be rubbish as a nurse. Or a banker may not be the brightest around when it comes to nurse a sick cow back to health. And the dude nursing said cow may be rubbish in economics Yet, in some proffessions it seems that people think they are the smartest in the room no matter what the topic is.
"Intelligence" and "education" are not mutually inclusive--it is possible to be smart and not have gotten certain skills, so let's back down on that as a judgment on the ideas in this list. What bothers me more is the number of the people who comment on every post: smart people know that it is better to keep your mouth shut and have people think you are stupid, than to open your mouth and confirm their suspicions.
There really are a LOT of different kinds of intelligence. Some people are good are remembering stuff and repeating stuff they read. Some people are good at puzzles and figuring stuff out. Some people are brilliant with machines, or fixing things, or building things. Some people are innovators and creators. Some aren't good at inventing stuff, but are very good at understanding it and explaining it to others. One of the smartest people I ever knew had the simplest vocabulary, but he could explain complex math in a way that even I could understand it. Some people are wise, make good decisions, have a good way of interacting with others. There are so many ways to be "smart". Even though Einstein actually probably never really said this, it's not any less a good quote: Everybody is a genius, but if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.
Sometimes stupid people make me realize how intelligent I am, to the point I started doubting my intelligence due to the possibility of me overestimating it. Doubting it made me even more confident in my intelligence, in fact I am so confident in my intelligence now, that I must be stupid.
I’m privileged to know a lot of people with a lot of letters after their name. The first thing you will notice about them is that they are self effacing and very aware of their own limitations. The second thing you notice is that those limits include knowing how to cook anything more complicated than cornflakes, knowing what year it is and how to wear more than one set of clothing. They will all tell you that book smart doesn’t mean life smart.
I knew a couple, both professors at a top university, always at the top of their classes in school. They adamantly refused to allow their daughters to be put into "advanced" or "gifted" classes. For her sixth grade science project, the bigger daughter explored the role of the Mongolian pony in the conquests of Genghis Khan. Smart kids will find their own way.
A main one is missing: therapy doesn't work for them most of the time. Shrinks are not trained adequately or the connection just doesn't happen.