Mom Wanted To Give Her Son With Down Syndrome To Foster Care, The Father Decided To Raise His Child All On His Own
InterviewFor every seven hundred to eight hundred children in the world, there is one child with Down Syndrome, a condition caused by an extra copy of one of the chromosomes, chromosome 21, which affects a baby’s body and brain development.
Children with Down Syndrome are called “sunny” because there is so much sunshine in their personalities; they are very kind and affectionate. And the part of society who were lucky to be born with the right number of chromosomes could actually learn a lot from these people.
Unfortunately, many newborns with Down Syndrome are still left behind because parents are scared of the abnormal and the unknown, but growing up in a happy and healthy family, children with Down Syndrome have every chance to live a normal life.
The more people are educated about the condition, the less prejudice and negativity they will have towards Down Syndrome. This Russian single father is on a mission to contribute to this change as much as he can and show the world how unique and wonderful people with Down Syndrome are. 33-year-old Evgeny Anisimov raises his son Misha, who has Down Syndrome, completely on his own after his wife decided to leave the family, unable to deal with her son’s diagnosis. The young father wanted to share his story with the world to inspire parents who face the same challenges to never give up.
More info: Instagram
The happy moment after the birth of a son for this Russian family lasted 1 minute and 39 seconds until the doctor said, “I fear that your baby has Down Syndrome”
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“I didn’t know what to do when I learned of the hypothesis that my son had Down Syndrome. I thought my task now was to turn off emotions, ignite thoughts, support my wife because I believed it would be more difficult for her. The results of the analysis we were promised in a few days, and until then, I decided not to say anything to her,” Evgeny told Bored Panda.
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“I remember that upon learning that my son has Down Syndrome, I left the hospital and cried, but not for long. Later, I was a little embarrassed by these tears. In my life, after all, nothing had changed, in general. I was still with two arms, with two legs, my professional knowledge had gone nowhere. My determination, activity, curiosity, and so on—everything was with me. Everything happened as I planned, my son was born. But the child is special, his life and future destiny are already very significant. And I’m roaring here! This is some kind of selfishness! Is it not fair? No, it is my responsibility. You did not have an amniocentesis—it is clear that the probability was low, but still. You wanted a child, so you took responsibility for it. After all, there are many options: autism, cerebral palsy, genetic mutations… And Down Syndrome is not the worst, as I learned later.”
33-year-old father Evgeny Anisimov started researching about Down Syndrome that same night
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“I started looking for information about the syndrome that same night when I returned home. I knew nothing about my son’s diagnosis. I only remembered a terrible photo from a Soviet biology textbook. I went online and researched. I learned about Evelina Bledans and her Semyon, who was born in the same maternity ward as Mishka. I learned that in Europe, people with Down Syndrome are well-socialized, can live and work independently. But the decision I had already made was not influenced by that.”
At no time did the new father think of leaving his son behind, but his wife wasn’t ready for this responsibility
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“When I made the decision, I had not yet thought about the likelihood of an optimistic scenario. I thought: well, he’s going to enjoy the sunrise, I’m going to take him out to barbecue, he’s going to live his life. Yes, maybe he seems unhappy to someone, but he will have his own life. At no time did I think of leaving my son in an orphanage, that would be inhumane.”
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
He and his wife soon separated and Evgeny started his new life as a single father to a “sunny” child
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“My wife and I had always had a good and trusting relationship. There were different periods, difficulties, lack of money, separation. I am a kind type, I’m used to giving in to everything, adjusting. Friends even ironically called me ‘dominated.’ But in this case, I was even ready for a conflict, I tried to convince her that we could overcome this situation. And the conflict separated us. Now I understand that she was just scared at the time, she started to act according to the wrong scenario, and by then, the rubicon was already crossed and it was too late to retreat from the scenario.”
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Despite all the challenges this special fatherhood brings to Evgeny, he never gave up and gives his all to raise Misha to the best of his abilities
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“When a child is born, he asks the outside world: ‘Am I needed here or not?’ And I answer with certainty: ‘Son, you are needed!’ Being with him, even alone, is a normal act for a normal man. I emphasize—I am a normal man, not some kind of hero.”
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“This has changed my life. I had a good job in Moscow and this was a big turning point in my career, but I couldn’t leave my son. He needed love and warmth. I am an ordinary worker now, but I have a normal salary in my city. I lost my wife, but I am happy with the changes. My son is a very good and open kid like every other kid of his age, he loves me and it shows.”
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“I think routine is the most difficult thing for me. Every minute, I must do ordinary tasks—cooking food for my son, cleaning, giving him baths, and walking with him… Every task might seem simple, but doing it every day is very difficult. My mother helps me and I can have time for myself, which is very important. I would advise all husbands to help their wives because although parenting is very interesting, it’s also a very hard thing.”
Evgeny arranges various activities to help his son’s physical and mental development
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“Misha has been attending swimming lessons every week since he was 5 months old. It’s expensive, but a lot of people help us. We’ve also started speech therapy. I understand that the future might bring more issues, but I hope that we will be able to overcome everything.”
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
The dad wants to raise awareness about Down Syndrome across the world and support families who face the same difficulties
Image credits: evgen_tyz
“I want all the articles about Mishka and me that are being published now to convey that idea to society and instill it. And I also want to support, inspire with my example those people who are or will be in the same situation as me. I try to communicate with those who are within reach, I correspond with those who are far away. I hope that those who have difficulties now, as it was for us, read about us. Have no fear! Everything will be fine!”
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
Image credits: evgen_tyz
183Kviews
Share on FacebookSeeing a lot of complaints that he's being treated like a hero and I have to wonder: Is he being treated like a hero? I see an article about a parent who is trying to teach an incredibly ignorant world about the condition his son has. I'm not seeing that he either hails himself as a hero or is hailed as one in this article - That seems to be some kind of bitter projection by some readers who think this is the only post ever made about kid's with down's (whereas a quick search just here on Bored Panda shows there are several similar posts from mothers of down's children.) I think I'm just going to pay attention to the message of tolerance and challenge that these mothers and fathers are trying to send rather about their children rather than complain about the gender of the messenger.
Responses here are definitely not about children with Down's syndrome, nor about the difficulties taking care of a child with Down's. Early intervention helps a lot with the development and leads to lasting positive benefits and a higher quality of life, but it is hard work. If you know anyone who has a child with Down's syndrome, ask them how you can help out. Please read this: https://www.parents.com/health/down-syndrome/early-intervention-for-down-syndrome/
Load More Replies...I am sad to see an uncharacteristically unpleasant Panda comment thread on this article, which is very sweet, positive and inspiring. Obviously, Evgeny and Misha are both very lucky -- Misha to have such a loving dad, and Evgeny that Misha pretty clearly is not nearly as severely disabled as some Downs children are. (Downs has a very wide range of physical and mental effects -- some Downs people are perfectly healthy with just a few cosmetic peculiarities and mild cognitive disabilities, but others have devastating medical conditions and are so developmentally disabled that they cannot learn to speak or take care of themselves.) And of course, lots of moms raise developmentally challenged kids by themselves. They deserve to be celebrated, too! But Evgeny deserves to be admired for the lovely job he's doing raising his little boy; it doesn't take away from anyone else who is doing the same noble job. Come on, Pandas, we're better than this!
I was unable to have children due to sterilezation at 17. If I'd been financially able to adopt a child, I would want one with Downs. They are the sweetest, most loving kids on this earth.
And they continue on to make the sweetest adults💗 Those that make it that long, that is. But they are not (NOT!) a waste of time & space! They are beautiful humans who separate those who are caring from those who aren't
Load More Replies...Ok, and now we'll look at the stories of the millions of women who are rasing a handicapped child after the Dad buggered off.
I am wondering why some women feel offended by this posting. It is not about the mother running away! This guy does not blame her. It is about raising a child with down syndrome in Russia, aiming at him becoming a member of society, which still in the year 2021 is no easy endeveour. And does it even matter you "buggered off" in a story about love and compassion for a child?
Load More Replies...I am aware that Evgeny is not the only person parenting a child with Down's Syndrome. However, I do appreciate the positive message he is sending out. Parenting is not easy by any means. I think that he is doing an admirable job of raising Mishka. Cut the man some slack. Why is there so much negativity here?
Because womens contributions are so often overseen. "Single Mother raises a down syndrome child all alone." rarely makes the headline because it is what is expected of women. When a man does it is global news. I am not, in anyway, trying to take away the wonder and beauty of this story... but it has only made headline news because he is a male. Surely you can see why women are feeling slighted? Men doing basic parenting is met with global acclaim... women who do this everyday, and are in the majority of these caretaker roles, are not. I do not agree with the hate but I understand the frustration. Surely you can too?
Load More Replies...This is a miracle and he is a hero in Russia. To understand my words you need to understand their history, mentality and culture. He is challenging stereotypes and mentality of his post soviet, conservative, ignorant, partiarch community. So yes, it is important he is treated as hero, and sets the example to others. I hope he gets help. The kid will have to endure lots of harsh bullying and obstacles.
Awww, I can't get over Mishka's eyes ❤ They're beautiful! Best of luck to this cutie and his loving dad!!
You are a normal man, that's right. And you are behaving precisely the way a normal man SHOULD act. No doubt! (But you are a lovely normal man, and a fine example for others.)
Where in this article does it say all mothers are bad? That people are upset about a father doing what this father is doing in a society that typically has the fathers abandoning children should be celebrated. Perhaps it will inspire fathers to be better, you never know. To the people who think this article is a knock on Mom's, get a life. Mothers are celebrated, too. You just read the latest article celebrating a father and think that mother's are not. The reason this is news is because it is an outlier and that is the sad part.
The main trademarks include facial features (you can identify Down people by looking at their faces) and cognitive impairment. That impairment can be mild or pronounced. Down patients can live happy lives, though many die on the younger side (think 60 years old) because of heart defects.
Load More Replies...I have followed Evelina Bledans for some years now and I think it's amazing to see the influence that she and others have had trying to change the outlook of children with disabilities in Russia. As Evgeni noted, he only really knew of Downs because of an old Soviet textbook because it is common for children like his son to be given up and hidden away. A support system like the one that Evelina and Evgeni and many other parents are trying to create is a wonderful goal.
Tengo que decirlo en mi idioma, Dios los bendiga a los dos, Evgene comprendio muy bien y nos esta enseñando lo que es ser un padre... God bless you both, Evgene and MIsha. He understood very well and is teaching us the meaning of be a father ...
Parenting is not a zero sum game. To all those commenting about the single mothers this article does not mention, all of the other parents raising special needs kids out there... they are amazing as well! Giving attention to one parent & child- Evgeny and his son in this case- *does not* diminish all the other parents out there! It’s not a zero sum game. I am a single mom and had it hard for a while and I don’t take anything away from this article other than a gratefulness to the kindness the human spirit is capable of and inspiration around good parenting. It’s not a zero sum game, people.
ie the ability to parent / multi-task is a LEARNED SKILL, not a genetic trait bestowed upon a single gender...... ie there's no "excuse" to not participate in parenting , other than "I don't want to".
I want to say this is a hard thing for anyone to do and it will be more of a challenge for this man than it would be for a mother... that being said, if it had been the mother who decided to keep it, well it wouldn't be considered news worthy.. gender equality folks... we need more of it.
I can't see a parent not wanting their child because the child is disabled or different. That is beyond cruel. This dad is a hero.
Oh my goodness, I love this man! What a true FATHER💙 God bless you both
Misha is a truly gorgeous little boy and so lucky to have an amazing father like you. Downed syndrome children are just as capable of doing anything they want like other children. They may need a little extra help but they will manage it. And with a father like you your beautiful little boy will be able to do anything. I remember being in a shop when a little downed syndrome boy came in showing off a medal he won in the special Olympics for swimming . He was so happy and proud of himself and rightly so. Everyone clapped and cheered him and he was just so happy. It was truly wonderful to see the beautiful smile on his face. There's nothing to stop that being your little boy one day. I really hope it does or at least that he continues to be as happy as he is now.
What a wonderful dad! His son, Mischa is absolutely wonderful! DS kids are truly gifts to this world, and their lives are just as important as any other child’s’. Their existence, teaches us , there is no “ normal”. There is only what is and isn’t and it’s our choice to make it, This Is! He will do well, and the dad will be so proud of their journey together!
what a wonderful dad! and i was one of those women raising her kids alone after the dad bugger off. maybe i am not feminist enough but i can see only positivity - and the sweet child and his dad.
Not sure why this is newsworthy - parents are expected to not abandon their babies. Women raise children alone all the time, special needs and all. Mishka's a cute kid though, and I guess yay for Evgeny for being a decent person.
This is not about the mother running away. Did you not notice how kind this guy still spoke of her? This story is about raising a child with down-syndrome in Russia. In soviet times it was normal to merely lock these children into an asylum, preventing any chance of societal participation. The prejudices from these times only slowly go away. People like the guy portrait here help inummerous children by raising awareness. If this is not newsworthy, nothing is.
Load More Replies...It would not have been a problem if they had access to screening while pregnant. Maybe it would not be such a shock to her? maybe some other solution would have been found.
Thank goodness this little boy doesn't have you as a parent.
Load More Replies...The orphanages in Russia would have been a horrible fate for this child. He would likely have been left in a crib 24/7 with a propped bottle and nobody to hold him or attend to his cries. He would never have the love, stimulation, or support needed to reach his potential, and he would never know the love of a family, being transferred to an adult care home at 18 that isn’t much different from an orphanage for adults. Pretty much his whole life would likely be people who are payed paltry wages to care for him doing the bare minimum to keep him alive and not much else.
Load More Replies...The human species is one of the only ones that just let everyone through, what do I mean? We dont keep the fittest, strongest, smartest of our breed, we keep the lot. Something animals dont do. Harsh yes...but that is the simple truth of it.
Load More Replies...lenka you are forgetting that on this same website there are NUMEROUS articles praising mothers single or not.
Load More Replies...“I want all the articles about Mishka and me that are being published now to convey that idea to society and instill it. And I also want to support, inspire with my example those people who are or will be in the same situation as me. I try to communicate with those who are within reach, I correspond with those who are far away. I hope that those who have difficulties now, as it was for us, read about us. Have no fear! Everything will be fine!”
Load More Replies...Seeing a lot of complaints that he's being treated like a hero and I have to wonder: Is he being treated like a hero? I see an article about a parent who is trying to teach an incredibly ignorant world about the condition his son has. I'm not seeing that he either hails himself as a hero or is hailed as one in this article - That seems to be some kind of bitter projection by some readers who think this is the only post ever made about kid's with down's (whereas a quick search just here on Bored Panda shows there are several similar posts from mothers of down's children.) I think I'm just going to pay attention to the message of tolerance and challenge that these mothers and fathers are trying to send rather about their children rather than complain about the gender of the messenger.
Responses here are definitely not about children with Down's syndrome, nor about the difficulties taking care of a child with Down's. Early intervention helps a lot with the development and leads to lasting positive benefits and a higher quality of life, but it is hard work. If you know anyone who has a child with Down's syndrome, ask them how you can help out. Please read this: https://www.parents.com/health/down-syndrome/early-intervention-for-down-syndrome/
Load More Replies...I am sad to see an uncharacteristically unpleasant Panda comment thread on this article, which is very sweet, positive and inspiring. Obviously, Evgeny and Misha are both very lucky -- Misha to have such a loving dad, and Evgeny that Misha pretty clearly is not nearly as severely disabled as some Downs children are. (Downs has a very wide range of physical and mental effects -- some Downs people are perfectly healthy with just a few cosmetic peculiarities and mild cognitive disabilities, but others have devastating medical conditions and are so developmentally disabled that they cannot learn to speak or take care of themselves.) And of course, lots of moms raise developmentally challenged kids by themselves. They deserve to be celebrated, too! But Evgeny deserves to be admired for the lovely job he's doing raising his little boy; it doesn't take away from anyone else who is doing the same noble job. Come on, Pandas, we're better than this!
I was unable to have children due to sterilezation at 17. If I'd been financially able to adopt a child, I would want one with Downs. They are the sweetest, most loving kids on this earth.
And they continue on to make the sweetest adults💗 Those that make it that long, that is. But they are not (NOT!) a waste of time & space! They are beautiful humans who separate those who are caring from those who aren't
Load More Replies...Ok, and now we'll look at the stories of the millions of women who are rasing a handicapped child after the Dad buggered off.
I am wondering why some women feel offended by this posting. It is not about the mother running away! This guy does not blame her. It is about raising a child with down syndrome in Russia, aiming at him becoming a member of society, which still in the year 2021 is no easy endeveour. And does it even matter you "buggered off" in a story about love and compassion for a child?
Load More Replies...I am aware that Evgeny is not the only person parenting a child with Down's Syndrome. However, I do appreciate the positive message he is sending out. Parenting is not easy by any means. I think that he is doing an admirable job of raising Mishka. Cut the man some slack. Why is there so much negativity here?
Because womens contributions are so often overseen. "Single Mother raises a down syndrome child all alone." rarely makes the headline because it is what is expected of women. When a man does it is global news. I am not, in anyway, trying to take away the wonder and beauty of this story... but it has only made headline news because he is a male. Surely you can see why women are feeling slighted? Men doing basic parenting is met with global acclaim... women who do this everyday, and are in the majority of these caretaker roles, are not. I do not agree with the hate but I understand the frustration. Surely you can too?
Load More Replies...This is a miracle and he is a hero in Russia. To understand my words you need to understand their history, mentality and culture. He is challenging stereotypes and mentality of his post soviet, conservative, ignorant, partiarch community. So yes, it is important he is treated as hero, and sets the example to others. I hope he gets help. The kid will have to endure lots of harsh bullying and obstacles.
Awww, I can't get over Mishka's eyes ❤ They're beautiful! Best of luck to this cutie and his loving dad!!
You are a normal man, that's right. And you are behaving precisely the way a normal man SHOULD act. No doubt! (But you are a lovely normal man, and a fine example for others.)
Where in this article does it say all mothers are bad? That people are upset about a father doing what this father is doing in a society that typically has the fathers abandoning children should be celebrated. Perhaps it will inspire fathers to be better, you never know. To the people who think this article is a knock on Mom's, get a life. Mothers are celebrated, too. You just read the latest article celebrating a father and think that mother's are not. The reason this is news is because it is an outlier and that is the sad part.
The main trademarks include facial features (you can identify Down people by looking at their faces) and cognitive impairment. That impairment can be mild or pronounced. Down patients can live happy lives, though many die on the younger side (think 60 years old) because of heart defects.
Load More Replies...I have followed Evelina Bledans for some years now and I think it's amazing to see the influence that she and others have had trying to change the outlook of children with disabilities in Russia. As Evgeni noted, he only really knew of Downs because of an old Soviet textbook because it is common for children like his son to be given up and hidden away. A support system like the one that Evelina and Evgeni and many other parents are trying to create is a wonderful goal.
Tengo que decirlo en mi idioma, Dios los bendiga a los dos, Evgene comprendio muy bien y nos esta enseñando lo que es ser un padre... God bless you both, Evgene and MIsha. He understood very well and is teaching us the meaning of be a father ...
Parenting is not a zero sum game. To all those commenting about the single mothers this article does not mention, all of the other parents raising special needs kids out there... they are amazing as well! Giving attention to one parent & child- Evgeny and his son in this case- *does not* diminish all the other parents out there! It’s not a zero sum game. I am a single mom and had it hard for a while and I don’t take anything away from this article other than a gratefulness to the kindness the human spirit is capable of and inspiration around good parenting. It’s not a zero sum game, people.
ie the ability to parent / multi-task is a LEARNED SKILL, not a genetic trait bestowed upon a single gender...... ie there's no "excuse" to not participate in parenting , other than "I don't want to".
I want to say this is a hard thing for anyone to do and it will be more of a challenge for this man than it would be for a mother... that being said, if it had been the mother who decided to keep it, well it wouldn't be considered news worthy.. gender equality folks... we need more of it.
I can't see a parent not wanting their child because the child is disabled or different. That is beyond cruel. This dad is a hero.
Oh my goodness, I love this man! What a true FATHER💙 God bless you both
Misha is a truly gorgeous little boy and so lucky to have an amazing father like you. Downed syndrome children are just as capable of doing anything they want like other children. They may need a little extra help but they will manage it. And with a father like you your beautiful little boy will be able to do anything. I remember being in a shop when a little downed syndrome boy came in showing off a medal he won in the special Olympics for swimming . He was so happy and proud of himself and rightly so. Everyone clapped and cheered him and he was just so happy. It was truly wonderful to see the beautiful smile on his face. There's nothing to stop that being your little boy one day. I really hope it does or at least that he continues to be as happy as he is now.
What a wonderful dad! His son, Mischa is absolutely wonderful! DS kids are truly gifts to this world, and their lives are just as important as any other child’s’. Their existence, teaches us , there is no “ normal”. There is only what is and isn’t and it’s our choice to make it, This Is! He will do well, and the dad will be so proud of their journey together!
what a wonderful dad! and i was one of those women raising her kids alone after the dad bugger off. maybe i am not feminist enough but i can see only positivity - and the sweet child and his dad.
Not sure why this is newsworthy - parents are expected to not abandon their babies. Women raise children alone all the time, special needs and all. Mishka's a cute kid though, and I guess yay for Evgeny for being a decent person.
This is not about the mother running away. Did you not notice how kind this guy still spoke of her? This story is about raising a child with down-syndrome in Russia. In soviet times it was normal to merely lock these children into an asylum, preventing any chance of societal participation. The prejudices from these times only slowly go away. People like the guy portrait here help inummerous children by raising awareness. If this is not newsworthy, nothing is.
Load More Replies...It would not have been a problem if they had access to screening while pregnant. Maybe it would not be such a shock to her? maybe some other solution would have been found.
Thank goodness this little boy doesn't have you as a parent.
Load More Replies...The orphanages in Russia would have been a horrible fate for this child. He would likely have been left in a crib 24/7 with a propped bottle and nobody to hold him or attend to his cries. He would never have the love, stimulation, or support needed to reach his potential, and he would never know the love of a family, being transferred to an adult care home at 18 that isn’t much different from an orphanage for adults. Pretty much his whole life would likely be people who are payed paltry wages to care for him doing the bare minimum to keep him alive and not much else.
Load More Replies...The human species is one of the only ones that just let everyone through, what do I mean? We dont keep the fittest, strongest, smartest of our breed, we keep the lot. Something animals dont do. Harsh yes...but that is the simple truth of it.
Load More Replies...lenka you are forgetting that on this same website there are NUMEROUS articles praising mothers single or not.
Load More Replies...“I want all the articles about Mishka and me that are being published now to convey that idea to society and instill it. And I also want to support, inspire with my example those people who are or will be in the same situation as me. I try to communicate with those who are within reach, I correspond with those who are far away. I hope that those who have difficulties now, as it was for us, read about us. Have no fear! Everything will be fine!”
Load More Replies...
376
128