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30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online
Having someone who you can rely on can enrich your existence in so many ways; good friends can bring out the best in you, and they're always ready to give you a hand whenever you feel like your life may start to crumble apart.
However, it’s important to give back and remember that every connection has its do’s and don'ts, and there are certain ethics that nobody communicates yet everyone always follows, even if the person in question is a random passer-by:
"Girls of Reddit, what is an unspoken rule of 'Girl Code?’" – this online user took to one of Reddit’s most thought-provoking communities to ask about the unwritten rules that women tend to live by. The question has managed to receive over 30K upvotes and 7.8K worth of comments discussing the most important rules of girlhood.
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You help other women who seem to be in trouble. When I was a teenager my mom and I went to Walmart to get groceries. We split up to save time and a man started stalking me through the aisles. I finally got out to a main area and saw a lady with two kids. Walked right up to her and stood as close as possible. She was confused but when I made a motion at the guy, she understood. She loudly thanked me for getting the milk and called me honey. Also referred to her son as my brother. Once the guy left she stayed with me until I saw my mom, and then stayed where she was until I got to my mom and motioned that I was okay. That lady deserves an award for helping me that day.
Everyone should help people in this scary predicament. This needs to be at the top!
Person 1: I like your dress!
Person 2: Thanks! It has pockets! <displays said pockets>
If your dress has pockets, you let them know.
You also have to put your hands in the pockets as you say this. It’s a thing
If there's a red spot on her pants you tell her discreetly and immediately.
EDIT: A lot of guys are asking what to do if they see a woman with a blood stain. You have two options. You could tell her yourself which may or may not be appreciated depending on the woman. Or you could simply ask another woman to tell her. I love how many guys wanna help look out for the ladies who end up in this predicament! :D
My son is almost 14 and I have told him if he sees this in school he immediately hands the girl his sweatshirt to tie around her waste - and just needs to say “you’ll want to tie this around your waste. You can bring it back to me tomorrow.” If he doesn’t have a sweatshirt he needs to just be polite and say “I don’t want you to get embarrassed but I thought you should know you have something on your pants” and point to his own butt…
My personal unspoken rule is keep an eye on other girls drinks when you are at the bar. Even if I don't know them. I have asked random strangers to keep an eye on mine and they are always like, "GIRL YES we have to look out for each other!"
If another girl comes over to you and pretends to know you, no questions asked we've been friends for 30 years and haven't seen each other in 5.
And always give a tampon if you have one, and someone needs one.
Edit: never lend tampons, always give.
As far as I've ever seen, every girl knows 'the look'. 'The look' is a look a girl gets on her face when she is in a situation that she doesn't want to be in, it's part 'help me' and part 'get me out of here'.
When you see this look, you step in. Doesn't matter if you know the girl or not.
I will be anyone's aunt. ANYONE'S. AUNT. ANY. TIME. I just have to see the look or have them look my way for too long, and BOOM, I swoop in with Auntie check-in. I will also call any female (or male), no matter age, color, nationality, or religion "Sugar Pop" if I think they need help because that is the nickname I call my nieces.
No women left behind at the club. You look out for and take care of your girls and don’t let random men drag them away without their explicit permission.
Literally any girl who looks alone or uncomfortable with someone. Always watch out for your girls no matter what.
If their strap is twisted, untwist it. Always carry extra feminine products, and extra hair Ties. And if she’s being harassed, you just link up and walk with her, no questions asked.
Also, my daughters have a literal code... if they ever text me the secret code, I will drop everything I’m doing and call them immediately, make up a major crisis and demand to come get them immediately. Make it 100% my fault, but give them an immediate out to any situation they don’t feel able to simply walk away from.
If she's dating a known abuser, take turns getting her out of the house. Play cards, shop for shoes, ask her to help you lay out the garden, make pie. Never broach the subject yourself - just make sure she knows she's welcome any time, day or night, with or without advance notice.
Ummm...what do reusable shopping bags have to do with this topic? You have the wrong picture to go with "If She's Dating an Abuser..."
Do not post group pictures on social media with friends unless everyone involved knows & approves of said pic.
If you walk into the bathroom and the girl in there is being quiet, you do your business and leave as quickly as you can. Girl is trying to poop!
Tell her when you see him cheating, snap a pic for proof if you can. I've lost friends for this but I'll still do it every time.
This could be a trend across genders too but when a girl says they love something you are wearing you always tell her where you bought it and how much it was and ESPECIALLY if you got it for a discount.
What if they are the spoils I collected from a robbery, should I tell them the address?
Everyone is friends in the bar bathroom after 11, no matter what.
Best friends foreverrrrrr! Until the bar closes and you never see them again.
- Protect each other. Don't care if it's your sister or a complete stranger.
- text your friends to check if they got home safe
- stay with them while their uber or taxi etc comes
- Check over that message she is going to send to the guy she likes to see if it sounds okay. Some communications require a group effort
- Sanitary items to all vaginal having humans who need.
Do not....f**k your friends boyfriend or ex-boyfriend
Lipstick on their teeth, eyeliner in the corner of their eye, skirt tucked into pantyhose. You let them know without making a huge deal about it.
The universal sign for lipstick on someone's teeth is to touch (or come close to) your own front teeth with your index finger while looking at the other woman. Every woman knows what mean.
If you get breast cancer, let as many people as possible feel your lump so they know what they are looking for! Before my mastectomy, my breast made a lot of new friends—early detection can mean the difference between life and death.
Eh this one is a little weird for me tho it may just be my introverted self talking
I think the point here is not to have other women diagnose a lump, as it seems from a few comments here, but to help other women to recognize a risky lump, dimple or anomaly.
When I had obgyn class, there was a breast model with different size lumps in it. Part of learning breast examination. Serious question, are women not taught self breast exam by their obgyn? I always thought the doctors would sit you down on your first visit and explain everything with a big flip chart and models. Or am I giving doctors too much credit?
I had a lump, I let all my close friends and family, but not strangers feel it. It's so they know what to "look" for in their own breast when they do an exam. Breast lumps are hard to find.
I had breast cancer and offered my few friends and female family to feel. No one took me up on it, I was surprised. Useful info!
And even if you don't have breast cancer, remind your friends to do checkups anyway! All genders can get breast cancer, all that matters is the fact that you have nipples.
Perhaps doctors should have examples to feel in their offices. I'm not letting just anyone touch my body, but it is incredibly important to know what to feel for.
They do have medical models for this, I remember trying one at a health fair in college and it was informative to know what you might be looking for.
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Examining your own breasts every few weeks for lumps is also very important for AMAB transfem people and trans girls to know. If you have breast tissue, you also have the same chance to get breast cancer.
men can get breast cancer too. my boyfriend has moobs and I'm constantly telling him he needs to check them frequently. It's one of many problems obesity can cause. it's important we tell everyone on the gender spectrum no matter where you fall, bc no one is immune.
Load More Replies... Annnd.......NO. You go to a few medical people who are trained in detecting cancer.
This is strange to me; I understand what you're saying, but it could be a really difficult conversation.
When I was in high school, we were given a sample breast with 2 lumps in it. I had a breast tumor the year after high school, it didn't feel anything like those. You could actually see it, since it was close to the surface, it felt like it could be a pimple, but wouldn't go away. While I get the sentiment, I don't necessarily agree. I think it is best to just get to know what your breasts feel like, at various times in your cycle and check for changes.
This is great advice. A little embarrassing maybe, but you'd be grateful if you ever needed to know.
If I had breast cancer, I wouldn't let anyone feel me up like that. It's not a free ticket to let everyone become an immediate doctor.
That seems a little weird. Giving information would make more sense to me.
"TOUCH MY BOOBIES" 😀 every lump feels different though(just remember to tell them that)
Although some may be a little weirded out by this due to their own modesty, IMO, I think this is a great idea! I never know if I’m doing my self exams correctly, even though my dr has shown me at least 100 times lol!
At the very least share your story. I have been VERY vocal about my journey. I've had countless people ask me questions about things they don't feel comfortable asking their mom, sister, etc about. Cancer isn't something that should be hidden or something to feel ashamed about. Any kind. Ever.
I've been recently thru this...I'm extremly extroverted bud I can't imagine showing my lump to "as many people as possible" 🤷🏻♀️ I felt so ashamed...I was totaly OK with talking about it...but showing, no...now my boob is gone for good and it feels completely different.
Yeah, no. My sister has just been diagnosed. she showed me the shape on her breast, but I'm not going to go poking at it.
I'm living with Stage 4 Breast cancer and my journey started out Stage 3 in 2001. I can't imagine letting anyone touch my breasts before I lost them both, but I have no issue pulling my shirt up to show the ravages of surgery to the women who joke about not having time to get a mammogram. They make the time and have thanked me for making it real about how important it is to get them done and to check yourself every month for lumps or abnormalities.
I'm so far the only woman in my family (both sides) who hasn't gotten breast cancer. I've always admitted I'm not the best at self exams. Our breasts are constantly changing. Age, hormones, diet, etc.. I'm never sure what is a gland, lymph node, or a lump. Would be nice to FEEL the difference.
I never thought about that before. So many times we feel what we think is something during self breast exams only to be told that it really was nothing. Or what we thought was nothing really was something. My BFF was diagnosed 18 months ago, feeling nothing about 6 months after a clean mammography.
To save a life? I would if it meant you got to a Dr in time bc of me.
I think it should be worded as: I found a lump and discovered it was cancerous. It kind of felt like ____ and give a vivid and inclusive description. Men can get it too, so I wouldn't describe it as feeling like anything only women would understand. Then offer to let them touch it, but don't force that either. I try to be inclusive with everything involving genders, but this is simply to state that breast cancer isn't limited to females. Everyone can get it. I simplify it so I don't misuse any specific terms or names for genders. Please don't hate. 🏳️⚧️
I’ve had it and frankly would not want someone feeling my boobs. Showing them a size example such as a pea would need to suffice and a lot of encouragement for self examination and mammograms.
If you don’t regularly examine yourself to know how it feels when it’s healthy, you may not recognize when it’s not.
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This is my absolute favorite. Because yes early detection saves lives.
Why aren't there more silicone models with suspicious lumps for educating us? They are available but it's not something I've ever seen the "Tampon Lady"/"Period lady" carrying for schools.. missed opportunity!
Oh my gosh...it sounds awkward, but if someone can handle it, yes! My mom and maternal grandmother both had double mastectomy, and I still have NO CLUE what a lump would feel like. It scares me a little knowing I might get breast cancer and never know until it's too late.
Take the Colon test. The early one - the free kit that you do at home-it’s easy!- the hospital colonoscope is a whole thing. But DO the home test one. It will save you SO much in the long run. Important stuff! DO it !
Not sure about strangers I don't know but ya I'd let family and friends and my daughter's and daughters girls friends and their moms , if they hadn't been around anyone who have had it.. So they'd know what they are looking for.. Im always thinking omg what is this.. But I just had my 1st Mammogram and it came back clear! And btw it doesn't "hurt"... Its uncomfortable for a min, that's it!! My mom told me its gonna hurt like hell.. Didn't hurt was uncomfortable..
Not a girl code rule. I never had anyone ask, woykd I have let them feel my lump, but each to their own. The girl rule would be to help educate those around you about screening and all the different signs. It isn't always just a lump. ANY noticible change should be checked out.
I show people a picture of the mole that I had that turned out to be melanoma. They don't always look like the Google image results. Mine certainly didn't. Pro tip: if your mole itches, consistently, get it checked. Even if it doesn't look weird.
My mom actually had me touch her breast lump. We are very close but never *that* close. Still, she wanted me to know what to look for and also she was terrified and needed someone to see how big it was.
As an RN that specializes in mastectomues and reconstruction I LOVE This!!! ❤️
I would be extremely uncomfortable and the other person might as well, but if everyone is comfortable with it then it’s a good idea
Human wall any girl if the only option is to pee in public
Yeah, I was on a trip to Poland with a school group and there were no places to go at all...we found a field that seemed to have cover. Nope. Caught pants down peeing on the ground in Poland.
if friend drinks too much and starts to puke, always hold her hair back for her
or tie it up. that brings me to another rule: you ALWAYS lend or give hair ties when another girl asks for one! (this is not just for girls of course)
If your friend gets back with her s***ty ex you always support your friend but you also tell her the truth and say if the relationship is toxic.
This one especially applies to college girls. If you're at a party and you see a girl doing something she might regret the next day due to drinking WAY too much, you go over there and make sure shes okay.
You always pretend that you know each other when a guy is being a jerk and you (or they) need a way out of a conversation.
I had a high school friend help me out this way. There was a tall guy in one of my classes that was hitting on me in Jr. college. Would not leave me alone. Followed me across campus. Kept asking me out and I kept turning him down. He was getting particularly aggressive when I turned a corner and my friend from HS grabbed me close and kissed me well! Acted like he was my boyfriend. The guy had been saying I wouldn't date him cause he was black. My high school friend was black. The guy left in shock and did not bother me again. My friend told me to stay away from him because he was bad news. Very thankful he was there when I needed him.
Console the crying one
Or offer them water (I'm really awkward at consoling people, so offering water seems to do the trick).
if you're wearing a hair tie on your wrist and someone asks for a hair tie, you give it to them (and accept that you likely will never see it again)
I always carry extra hair ties, tampons/pads, ibuprofen/tylenol, and a nail kit. You never know when someone will need it!
Also added to sanitary products, pain killers!! If you got em handy, help a b***h out!
I applaud the sentiment, but refering to women as bitches gets my back up ... How about just help each other out without resorting to the use of derogatory misogynistic language...
Stupid or not, the original Girl Code is that once you have any sort of sexual/romantic link to a guy (even just saying you like him) he is 100% off-limits to all friends.
(This rule is more nuanced when the object of desire is another woman.)
Unless it's a celebrity crush then by all means gush over the cuteness together
The 5-minute rule. If it can be fixed in 5 minutes or less tell her!
If it can't (bloat situation etc..) then there's no need to say anything because it will literally only make her feel bad.
There is an almost imperceptible line between intrusive prurience and interest in the sex lives of your friends that's defined by their inclination to share rather than you inquiring or making insinuations. Many friends will discuss sex candidly, others will use discretion, and some will resent the intrusion; always wait to be confided in rather than commit an indiscretion.
There are weird assumptions about the 'sisterhood' that we talk about penis sizes etc without reserve. This is untrue.
Women have NO boundaries when it comes to health issues, but only when talking amongst women. Talking about men? Not so much.
Note: this post originally had 34 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I hate how so much of our code is centered around protecting ourselves and each other from men of ill intent. It shouldn't have to be like that!
I was the recipient of a “girls together”. I was being followed down the road by a gang of lads calling out about my legs and wolf whistling etc. It was about 10pm and a busy city centre. They got very aggressive and I took refuge in a coffee shop. The girls there literally smuggled me out the back into a taxi they’d called. That’s proper support.
If your friend even expresses interest in a guy (hasn't yet acted on it), he's off limits.
Adorable how most of women's code is trying not to get murdered, and most of guy code is toilet etiquette and food. 😄😄😫😭 https://www.boredpanda.com/men-share-unwritten-rules-reddit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
That is mostly driven by social constructs, not all men and not all women, based on percieved gain. Ive watched women flirt excessively in provacative attire in a club then deny any and all contact after she gets her drink.. Now I dont go to clubs as a rule, nor do I acknowledge those kinds of women as Real, but, you are not 'dressing up for other women' as they say.
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This was perfect for me. I was recently harassed in public and I didn’t know what the f to do. These tips are helpful for the next time. Thanks!
And lastly, learn and accept when you are being protective or you are just cockblocking her out of jelousy.
If a girl says something bad about how she looks, ALWAYS REASSURE HER THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL
Or help her work on her self esteem, instead of using her mality asxa tool.
Load More Replies... She is always ALWAYS prettier than the new broad no matter what she looks like... probably already feels like dung, there's no need to make it worse, even if it's true, man...
Well, I can definitely say I will not carrying around a small pharmacy just in case someone else suddenly need something! Neither will I put myself in predicament - find myself alone at night for instance - because a “silent code” says I have to see that someone else gets home!
There is sort of unspoken help we teachers give to one another as well. Remember, women make up most of the teaching workforce in most subjects (except for math and science). Things like telling each other when there is a tag hanging out, a smudge or toothpaste on your face or something else that can be potentially embarrasing. Students will pick these things out immediately and giggle throughout the entire day but never say anything.
Really...😒 The title states 30 unwritten rules When Soooooooo many were basically repeated over and over😞 ... I'm pretty sure we could come up with an actual 30 😉 with out any being repeated...✌🙉🙈🙊
Please only do that if you know the person or asked before. I would not be okay if someone came up to me and did that.
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I have come to the conclusion that I am not a typical female. I had no idea about some of these
Another girl rule I have is about beggars. I will almost always give money to women who are asking for help.
I hate how so much of our code is centered around protecting ourselves and each other from men of ill intent. It shouldn't have to be like that!
I was the recipient of a “girls together”. I was being followed down the road by a gang of lads calling out about my legs and wolf whistling etc. It was about 10pm and a busy city centre. They got very aggressive and I took refuge in a coffee shop. The girls there literally smuggled me out the back into a taxi they’d called. That’s proper support.
If your friend even expresses interest in a guy (hasn't yet acted on it), he's off limits.
Adorable how most of women's code is trying not to get murdered, and most of guy code is toilet etiquette and food. 😄😄😫😭 https://www.boredpanda.com/men-share-unwritten-rules-reddit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
That is mostly driven by social constructs, not all men and not all women, based on percieved gain. Ive watched women flirt excessively in provacative attire in a club then deny any and all contact after she gets her drink.. Now I dont go to clubs as a rule, nor do I acknowledge those kinds of women as Real, but, you are not 'dressing up for other women' as they say.
Load More Replies... This was perfect for me. I was recently harassed in public and I didn’t know what the f to do. These tips are helpful for the next time. Thanks!
And lastly, learn and accept when you are being protective or you are just cockblocking her out of jelousy.
If a girl says something bad about how she looks, ALWAYS REASSURE HER THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL
Or help her work on her self esteem, instead of using her mality asxa tool.
Load More Replies... She is always ALWAYS prettier than the new broad no matter what she looks like... probably already feels like dung, there's no need to make it worse, even if it's true, man...
Well, I can definitely say I will not carrying around a small pharmacy just in case someone else suddenly need something! Neither will I put myself in predicament - find myself alone at night for instance - because a “silent code” says I have to see that someone else gets home!
There is sort of unspoken help we teachers give to one another as well. Remember, women make up most of the teaching workforce in most subjects (except for math and science). Things like telling each other when there is a tag hanging out, a smudge or toothpaste on your face or something else that can be potentially embarrasing. Students will pick these things out immediately and giggle throughout the entire day but never say anything.
Really...😒 The title states 30 unwritten rules When Soooooooo many were basically repeated over and over😞 ... I'm pretty sure we could come up with an actual 30 😉 with out any being repeated...✌🙉🙈🙊
Please only do that if you know the person or asked before. I would not be okay if someone came up to me and did that.
Load More Replies... I have come to the conclusion that I am not a typical female. I had no idea about some of these
Another girl rule I have is about beggars. I will almost always give money to women who are asking for help.
