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30 Unwritten Rules Among Women That They Secretly Agree On Without Having To Talk About, As Shared Online
Having someone who you can rely on can enrich your existence in so many ways; good friends can bring out the best in you, and they're always ready to give you a hand whenever you feel like your life may start to crumble apart.
However, it’s important to give back and remember that every connection has its do’s and don'ts, and there are certain ethics that nobody communicates yet everyone always follows, even if the person in question is a random passer-by:
"Girls of Reddit, what is an unspoken rule of 'Girl Code?’" – this online user took to one of Reddit’s most thought-provoking communities to ask about the unwritten rules that women tend to live by. The question has managed to receive over 30K upvotes and 7.8K worth of comments discussing the most important rules of girlhood.
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You help other women who seem to be in trouble. When I was a teenager my mom and I went to Walmart to get groceries. We split up to save time and a man started stalking me through the aisles. I finally got out to a main area and saw a lady with two kids. Walked right up to her and stood as close as possible. She was confused but when I made a motion at the guy, she understood. She loudly thanked me for getting the milk and called me honey. Also referred to her son as my brother. Once the guy left she stayed with me until I saw my mom, and then stayed where she was until I got to my mom and motioned that I was okay. That lady deserves an award for helping me that day.
Everyone should help people in this scary predicament. This needs to be at the top!
Person 1: I like your dress!
Person 2: Thanks! It has pockets! <displays said pockets>
If your dress has pockets, you let them know.
You also have to put your hands in the pockets as you say this. It’s a thing
If there's a red spot on her pants you tell her discreetly and immediately.
EDIT: A lot of guys are asking what to do if they see a woman with a blood stain. You have two options. You could tell her yourself which may or may not be appreciated depending on the woman. Or you could simply ask another woman to tell her. I love how many guys wanna help look out for the ladies who end up in this predicament! :D
My son is almost 14 and I have told him if he sees this in school he immediately hands the girl his sweatshirt to tie around her waste - and just needs to say “you’ll want to tie this around your waste. You can bring it back to me tomorrow.” If he doesn’t have a sweatshirt he needs to just be polite and say “I don’t want you to get embarrassed but I thought you should know you have something on your pants” and point to his own butt…
My personal unspoken rule is keep an eye on other girls drinks when you are at the bar. Even if I don't know them. I have asked random strangers to keep an eye on mine and they are always like, "GIRL YES we have to look out for each other!"
If another girl comes over to you and pretends to know you, no questions asked we've been friends for 30 years and haven't seen each other in 5.
And always give a tampon if you have one, and someone needs one.
Edit: never lend tampons, always give.
As far as I've ever seen, every girl knows 'the look'. 'The look' is a look a girl gets on her face when she is in a situation that she doesn't want to be in, it's part 'help me' and part 'get me out of here'.
When you see this look, you step in. Doesn't matter if you know the girl or not.
I will be anyone's aunt. ANYONE'S. AUNT. ANY. TIME. I just have to see the look or have them look my way for too long, and BOOM, I swoop in with Auntie check-in. I will also call any female (or male), no matter age, color, nationality, or religion "Sugar Pop" if I think they need help because that is the nickname I call my nieces.
No women left behind at the club. You look out for and take care of your girls and don’t let random men drag them away without their explicit permission.
Literally any girl who looks alone or uncomfortable with someone. Always watch out for your girls no matter what.
If their strap is twisted, untwist it. Always carry extra feminine products, and extra hair Ties. And if she’s being harassed, you just link up and walk with her, no questions asked.
Also, my daughters have a literal code... if they ever text me the secret code, I will drop everything I’m doing and call them immediately, make up a major crisis and demand to come get them immediately. Make it 100% my fault, but give them an immediate out to any situation they don’t feel able to simply walk away from.
If she's dating a known abuser, take turns getting her out of the house. Play cards, shop for shoes, ask her to help you lay out the garden, make pie. Never broach the subject yourself - just make sure she knows she's welcome any time, day or night, with or without advance notice.
Ummm...what do reusable shopping bags have to do with this topic? You have the wrong picture to go with "If She's Dating an Abuser..."
Do not post group pictures on social media with friends unless everyone involved knows & approves of said pic.
If you walk into the bathroom and the girl in there is being quiet, you do your business and leave as quickly as you can. Girl is trying to poop!
Tell her when you see him cheating, snap a pic for proof if you can. I've lost friends for this but I'll still do it every time.
In some cases, stupidity, in others, pride... "You're just trying to ruin my relationship 'cause you're jealous!" "You always wanted him yourself, and you're trying to make me break-up with him!" "Not possible, he *can't* be cheating on me, I do everything he wants!" -- In some cases, it is just "Shooting The Messenger." -- That all being said, make sure that the cute chick he's with at the restaraunt isn't actually a sister or cousin, etc...
Load More Replies...Or tell HIM if you're friends with both and see her cheating. It's wrong no matter who does it.
Tell her or him, even if you're not friends. A couple warned me that a guy was dating someone else too and sent me a pic. They didn't warn her though, so I did. Apparently a lot of ppl knew he was a cheater. We went to a fair and he knew the singer and asked him to sing a song for us. Guy sang Your cheating heart. I was like: what a peculiar song. He was warning me.
Load More Replies...I cut ties with a best friend who knew & saw my ex-husband cheat & didn't tell me. She never said anything until another friend happened to see him out cheating & she told me right away then the supposed best friend admitted to knowing about it. Women should have each other's backs be it friends or not know each other.
I once did this for a girl I wasn't very close with, but after this, we exchanged phone numbers, cried about it together and then mutually hated on him. I was his neighbor and he LOATHED me after this, but what do I care? Although, the other girl was my friend, but she made her choice. His gf didn't choose to be cheated on.
But do make sure you have your facts straight. Do you really want to stir up that kind of drama to find out that was his sister/cousin he was hugging?
I believe it goes both ways. I will not be friends with someone who cheats.
Mi sister lit don't believe any proof that I showed her, there where pics, audios, friends of him that felt bad for her and she still don't believe it.
Another time i met a guy online we hooked up a few times before tealizing he was in a long term relationship. I found her in his social media and told her everything because she looked so sweet and innocent. She was more understanding a girl looking out for a girl. I think that shows confidence and rational thought
Sadly, this often ends badly for the person telling them. Do it. ALWAYS.
I also lost my best friend for this (don't say she must not have been my real friend, they had 3 young children at the time and she had to make a choice that worked for her. She wasn't mad at me, but he pitched a fit and insisted she not associate with me for betraying him), but I told her knowing full well that I would likely lose her friendship. It hurt like hell to lose my best friend, but I asked myself what kind of friend would I be if I knew 100% that it was true and said nothing. He was gaslighting her, telling her she was crazy, paranoid, etc. I gave her the certainty that she needed to confront him again and try to change things in their relationship. Fast forward 15 or so years, he didn't stop his ways and she divorced him. We are once again friends. I would do it again in a heartbeat because that's what friends do.
CAUGHT my ex cheating! He was Mr. Perfect, so no one believed me, and he was stupid enough to deny it! Guess I was seeing things!
Maybe we - as a species - need to reconsider this notion of fidelity and couple bonds. Definitely should throw out the "happily ever after" myth. Maybe marriages should have use by dates, like contracts with renewable renegotiable dates. Contract void if infidelity proved. You cannot legislate trust. So, what to do?
You don’t want to believe that he’s cheating so it’s easier to get mad at the person telling you… maybe they saw or read the situation wrong?! Not me but some girls want yes friends not real friends!
I lost, and then found a friend got this. Once she realized I was being honest she busted him it was hard being the messenger but I had to tell her! She had to know.
If they aren't a close friend - go for it. They'll hate you for it, but nothing lost. if it's a close friend, weigh up whether you want to lose your friend, or be there when they do finally find out. Is it worth it?
What kind of friend knows 100% that her best friend's husband is cheating and chooses to stay silent? She could be exposed to STDs, who knows what. I did it and lost the friend temporarily (many years), but even though all of the time we weren't in touch I knew I would have done it again anyway. I couldn't say I was her good friend and keep quiet.
Load More Replies...My roommates bf was drunk early a.m. and she was at work he didnt speak good english, but he knocked in my door asking for a bj confused w hand movements. I told her. She kicked ME out and married him. Ah well
Man, I have no remorse for cheaters. I don't give a F about them. One, I'm demisexual (plus s*xual trauma/ptsd) and I have lost many people in my life (not to death, well not yet...lost my cat though October of 2021), so I cannot understand the thought process of even doing it. It is just so stupid.
I lost my best friend this way. She's my cousin but we were as close as sisters. She didn't believe me and he convinced her I was trying just trying to start trouble to break them up and hurt her because I was jealous. This was almost 30 years ago, they're still together and he's put her through much worse since then. I still miss her.
You would be my friend for life but yeah, most don't appreciate you being the messenger.
This is how I lost my best friend. Unless tou have photo or video proof keep your mouth shut. More often than not without proof she isn't going to believe you and may even think you are just trying to break them up so you can get him for yourself.
This rule is in direct contradiction to the next. Tell HER if HE's cheating. But if SHE's cheating, dont take ANY pictures without permission.
So...if you do not know the woman, but her guy hits on you, do you tell?
For hitting on me? No. My BIL had a weak moment once. My sister was too busy with their new baby. He had to go on a sail course for a week and didn't want to go alone. My sister asked if I could go with him. Looking back, how naive could we be. So dumb. He drank too much and tried to kiss me. Just pushed him away and never told her. They're still very happily married and he never cheated on her.
Load More Replies...This could be a trend across genders too but when a girl says they love something you are wearing you always tell her where you bought it and how much it was and ESPECIALLY if you got it for a discount.
What if they are the spoils I collected from a robbery, should I tell them the address?
Everyone is friends in the bar bathroom after 11, no matter what.
Best friends foreverrrrrr! Until the bar closes and you never see them again.
- Protect each other. Don't care if it's your sister or a complete stranger.
- text your friends to check if they got home safe
- stay with them while their uber or taxi etc comes
- Check over that message she is going to send to the guy she likes to see if it sounds okay. Some communications require a group effort
- Sanitary items to all vaginal having humans who need.
Do not....f**k your friends boyfriend or ex-boyfriend
Lipstick on their teeth, eyeliner in the corner of their eye, skirt tucked into pantyhose. You let them know without making a huge deal about it.
The universal sign for lipstick on someone's teeth is to touch (or come close to) your own front teeth with your index finger while looking at the other woman. Every woman knows what mean.
If you get breast cancer, let as many people as possible feel your lump so they know what they are looking for! Before my mastectomy, my breast made a lot of new friends—early detection can mean the difference between life and death.
Eh this one is a little weird for me tho it may just be my introverted self talking
Human wall any girl if the only option is to pee in public
Yeah, I was on a trip to Poland with a school group and there were no places to go at all...we found a field that seemed to have cover. Nope. Caught pants down peeing on the ground in Poland.
if friend drinks too much and starts to puke, always hold her hair back for her
or tie it up. that brings me to another rule: you ALWAYS lend or give hair ties when another girl asks for one! (this is not just for girls of course)
If your friend gets back with her s***ty ex you always support your friend but you also tell her the truth and say if the relationship is toxic.
This one especially applies to college girls. If you're at a party and you see a girl doing something she might regret the next day due to drinking WAY too much, you go over there and make sure shes okay.
You always pretend that you know each other when a guy is being a jerk and you (or they) need a way out of a conversation.
I had a high school friend help me out this way. There was a tall guy in one of my classes that was hitting on me in Jr. college. Would not leave me alone. Followed me across campus. Kept asking me out and I kept turning him down. He was getting particularly aggressive when I turned a corner and my friend from HS grabbed me close and kissed me well! Acted like he was my boyfriend. The guy had been saying I wouldn't date him cause he was black. My high school friend was black. The guy left in shock and did not bother me again. My friend told me to stay away from him because he was bad news. Very thankful he was there when I needed him.
Console the crying one
Or offer them water (I'm really awkward at consoling people, so offering water seems to do the trick).
if you're wearing a hair tie on your wrist and someone asks for a hair tie, you give it to them (and accept that you likely will never see it again)
I always carry extra hair ties, tampons/pads, ibuprofen/tylenol, and a nail kit. You never know when someone will need it!
Also added to sanitary products, pain killers!! If you got em handy, help a b***h out!
I applaud the sentiment, but refering to women as bitches gets my back up ... How about just help each other out without resorting to the use of derogatory misogynistic language...
Stupid or not, the original Girl Code is that once you have any sort of sexual/romantic link to a guy (even just saying you like him) he is 100% off-limits to all friends.
(This rule is more nuanced when the object of desire is another woman.)
Unless it's a celebrity crush then by all means gush over the cuteness together
The 5-minute rule. If it can be fixed in 5 minutes or less tell her!
If it can't (bloat situation etc..) then there's no need to say anything because it will literally only make her feel bad.
There is an almost imperceptible line between intrusive prurience and interest in the sex lives of your friends that's defined by their inclination to share rather than you inquiring or making insinuations. Many friends will discuss sex candidly, others will use discretion, and some will resent the intrusion; always wait to be confided in rather than commit an indiscretion.
There are weird assumptions about the 'sisterhood' that we talk about penis sizes etc without reserve. This is untrue.
Women have NO boundaries when it comes to health issues, but only when talking amongst women. Talking about men? Not so much.
Note: this post originally had 34 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I hate how so much of our code is centered around protecting ourselves and each other from men of ill intent. It shouldn't have to be like that!
I was the recipient of a “girls together”. I was being followed down the road by a gang of lads calling out about my legs and wolf whistling etc. It was about 10pm and a busy city centre. They got very aggressive and I took refuge in a coffee shop. The girls there literally smuggled me out the back into a taxi they’d called. That’s proper support.
If your friend even expresses interest in a guy (hasn't yet acted on it), he's off limits.
Adorable how most of women's code is trying not to get murdered, and most of guy code is toilet etiquette and food. 😄😄😫😭 https://www.boredpanda.com/men-share-unwritten-rules-reddit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
That is mostly driven by social constructs, not all men and not all women, based on percieved gain. Ive watched women flirt excessively in provacative attire in a club then deny any and all contact after she gets her drink.. Now I dont go to clubs as a rule, nor do I acknowledge those kinds of women as Real, but, you are not 'dressing up for other women' as they say.
Load More Replies...This was perfect for me. I was recently harassed in public and I didn’t know what the f to do. These tips are helpful for the next time. Thanks!
And lastly, learn and accept when you are being protective or you are just cockblocking her out of jelousy.
If a girl says something bad about how she looks, ALWAYS REASSURE HER THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL
Or help her work on her self esteem, instead of using her mality asxa tool.
Load More Replies...She is always ALWAYS prettier than the new broad no matter what she looks like... probably already feels like dung, there's no need to make it worse, even if it's true, man...
Well, I can definitely say I will not carrying around a small pharmacy just in case someone else suddenly need something! Neither will I put myself in predicament - find myself alone at night for instance - because a “silent code” says I have to see that someone else gets home!
There is sort of unspoken help we teachers give to one another as well. Remember, women make up most of the teaching workforce in most subjects (except for math and science). Things like telling each other when there is a tag hanging out, a smudge or toothpaste on your face or something else that can be potentially embarrasing. Students will pick these things out immediately and giggle throughout the entire day but never say anything.
Really...😒 The title states 30 unwritten rules When Soooooooo many were basically repeated over and over😞 ... I'm pretty sure we could come up with an actual 30 😉 with out any being repeated...✌🙉🙈🙊
Please only do that if you know the person or asked before. I would not be okay if someone came up to me and did that.
Load More Replies...I have come to the conclusion that I am not a typical female. I had no idea about some of these
Another girl rule I have is about beggars. I will almost always give money to women who are asking for help.
I hate how so much of our code is centered around protecting ourselves and each other from men of ill intent. It shouldn't have to be like that!
I was the recipient of a “girls together”. I was being followed down the road by a gang of lads calling out about my legs and wolf whistling etc. It was about 10pm and a busy city centre. They got very aggressive and I took refuge in a coffee shop. The girls there literally smuggled me out the back into a taxi they’d called. That’s proper support.
If your friend even expresses interest in a guy (hasn't yet acted on it), he's off limits.
Adorable how most of women's code is trying not to get murdered, and most of guy code is toilet etiquette and food. 😄😄😫😭 https://www.boredpanda.com/men-share-unwritten-rules-reddit/?utm_source=google&utm_medium=organic&utm_campaign=organic
That is mostly driven by social constructs, not all men and not all women, based on percieved gain. Ive watched women flirt excessively in provacative attire in a club then deny any and all contact after she gets her drink.. Now I dont go to clubs as a rule, nor do I acknowledge those kinds of women as Real, but, you are not 'dressing up for other women' as they say.
Load More Replies...This was perfect for me. I was recently harassed in public and I didn’t know what the f to do. These tips are helpful for the next time. Thanks!
And lastly, learn and accept when you are being protective or you are just cockblocking her out of jelousy.
If a girl says something bad about how she looks, ALWAYS REASSURE HER THAT SHE LOOKS LIKE A QUEEN BECAUSE EVERYONE IS BEAUTIFUL
Or help her work on her self esteem, instead of using her mality asxa tool.
Load More Replies...She is always ALWAYS prettier than the new broad no matter what she looks like... probably already feels like dung, there's no need to make it worse, even if it's true, man...
Well, I can definitely say I will not carrying around a small pharmacy just in case someone else suddenly need something! Neither will I put myself in predicament - find myself alone at night for instance - because a “silent code” says I have to see that someone else gets home!
There is sort of unspoken help we teachers give to one another as well. Remember, women make up most of the teaching workforce in most subjects (except for math and science). Things like telling each other when there is a tag hanging out, a smudge or toothpaste on your face or something else that can be potentially embarrasing. Students will pick these things out immediately and giggle throughout the entire day but never say anything.
Really...😒 The title states 30 unwritten rules When Soooooooo many were basically repeated over and over😞 ... I'm pretty sure we could come up with an actual 30 😉 with out any being repeated...✌🙉🙈🙊
Please only do that if you know the person or asked before. I would not be okay if someone came up to me and did that.
Load More Replies...I have come to the conclusion that I am not a typical female. I had no idea about some of these
Another girl rule I have is about beggars. I will almost always give money to women who are asking for help.