If we’re being completely honest with ourselves, we all have secrets. Some are embarrassing, some downright silly, and others…surprisingly wholesome. Yes, we’re talking about those sweet little secrets that warm your heart more than they weigh on it.
When someone online asked, “What’s a ridiculous secret you’ve been keeping?” the answers came pouring in, from unexpected obsessions with Jurassic Park to undying love for potato chips. Keep scrolling to get your daily dose of ridiculously relatable and oddly sweet stories.
This post may include affiliate links.
First marriage to my late wife, on the day of the wedding, the ring got stolen out of my car. I was freaking out. My two best men went into overdrive and took a picture I had if the ring and went to I don't know how many jewelry stores explaining what had happened and if they had a ring that was similar.
They went to this really great jewelry maker so said, "I have something that is really close, give me a bit and I can make it perfect."
He worked his a*s off and got it done with about an hour to spare, plus the managed to get my window fixed.
The three of us are the only ones who know. I ended up using that jewelry maker for any jewelry I needed and well I haven't stopped yet.
He ended up telling my best men to not worry about the price and for me to come down after the honeymoon to work it out. I did and he gave it to me at the cost of the materials. He is a great guy. He retired during COVID.
I have a feeling OP's late wife wouldn't have minded a different-looking ring if she'd been told the truth of the theft XD But still, what an awesome and adorable story, and those two best men were absolute bros.
Those guys were bros, but that jeweler was a real stand up guy coming in the clutch and only charging materials for a rush job (most would charge a premium), and as a result his integrity got him a long term customer
Load More Replies...Just a reminder that there's plenty of wonderful people in this world. Not what's shown on TV for ratings and money. I believe it's the majority
Not a secret. I bought a ring for a woman I had all intentions of marrying, she picked it out. On the day I planned on popping the question, literally minutes before the moment, her daughter texts her and tells her her ex popped the question to the woman he was dating. It not only blew the moment but she dumped me about 2 weeks later. Fast forward 16 months. I get set up on a blind date by a coworker. We married 14 weeks later, and she was ecstatic to have that ring and understood exactly where it had come from, the one big factor was that I had never presented it to the other woman and she'd never worn it. That was 13 years ago and we're still the happiest either of us has ever been.
Something quite similar happen to my little brother at our factory. After he returned from his honeymoon he lost his 'executio...er, wedding ring. Man, he went mental trying to find it. And me, as his big brother along with my right hand AND some of our workers had our little bit of fun with his suffering, I even told him "m8! You're in a BIG trouble!". After that,, I went into a rescue mode, well, sort of, and announced to all of our workers: "£1,000 quids in cash AND 3 bottles of nice JW 'blue label' to whoever finds the 'Midget' (they all know I call him that at work) wedding ring!". Well, one of my guys found the darn ring on top of a crate that was about to be loaded and shipped to Germany. Since then, me and him, we don't wear or rings when we're working on the floor along the rest of our guys. Till this day, I wonder if my adorable SIL would make him sleep with a bunch of funnel web spiders, knowing he lost his wedding ring, every time they go to Australia to see her parents
In 1998 I had a friend who was stuck in a very toxic situation at her home. She had an opportunity for a new start across country in Oregon. She had a Dodge Neon that was hanging on for dear life and decided to pass on the opportunity for fear the car wouldn’t make the trip. I told her I had a friend that was a mechanic that owed me a favor and he would give the car a tune up for free. I didn’t really have a friend that was a mechanic. We were both 18 with not much money but I used all of my savings to pay to have her car made road worthy for the trip. She’s a mother of 4 now with a great job and thriving in Oregon.
Although, I would have PTSD-like feelings, if I wouldn"t have my way out of any situation with trams, busses, trains or whatever. Living in the USA musst be a nightmare ....
Load More Replies...That’s more than a friend, that’s a “ride or die” go above and beyond type! It’s so very rare! This is the person you cherish and do your best to be as equally invested in or lose them forever! Mine passed away in 2020 from Covid …I’m still not adjusting to her absence but I’m trying my best.
Wow, I’m so sorry you lost your friend. ❤️ I’m sure she looks over you from up there. If you ever need to talk, I’m always here.
Load More Replies...This makes me so happy , human kindness is still out there ❤️blessed be x
I've been lonely, and every night I fall asleep hugging a stuffed animal. I am 41.
The secret is that I have many stuffed animals and each week I pick a new one to sleep with because I don't want any of them to feel sad or left out.
I have a giant penguin I hug every night, because if I don't ill wake up with terrible bac/shoulder pain. Tried hugging g the wife or the dog, but they move too much (and protest too much when I move.
I stand by the statement that you are never too old for stuffed animals. I got this Snorlax backpack a while back and ended up using it as a pillow once when I was moving things around and just too tired to bother looking for the actual pillow (The backpack is pretty soft and fluffy, if you don't see the straps you'd probably just think it's a stuff snorlax doll). And then I kept using it as a pillow. It's ridiculously comfy. I don't know that I've ever actually used it as the backpack it was intended to be.
Load More Replies...I'm 43 and still sleep hugging my dude Chace, whom I got as a present when I was 5 years old. (I did not know how to spell "Chase" when I was 5, lol.) He's been through the wars - he lost his nose when I was 10 or 12 because I used him as a morningstar/flail in a pillow fight with my cousins, he's poorly sewn up in places because I performed "surgery" several times on him in my childhood, someone spilled a beer on him when I took him with me when my family went to an Angels baseball game when I was 8, and he's just raggedy-áss in general. He's 38 years old, that's old for a dog ;) I don't care if someone thinks I'm immature for sleeping with a stuffed animal. Chace is my bro and he's been there for me for almost 4 decades. chace-6899...782491.jpg
Not hugging, but my old, favourite stuffed toy still shares the bed with me and protects my sleep. If he (sic!) falls off the bed I get him back in and apologise. Stuffed animals have a soul - it's a piece of our own soul. Some people claim it back, and some let the stuffy keep it.
Absolutely. When I wake up in the mornings, I settle Chace (mentioned in my other comment) onto my pillow, give him a pat, and say "Thanks, old man" - I am thanking him for bringing me comfort and peace and protecting me in my sleep :) After 38 years he's absolutely absorbed enough love to basically be the Velveteen Rabbit. (And yes, when I was younger, I was absolutely convinced he would transform into a real German Shepherd if I loved him enough... XD )
Load More Replies...I'm 55 and have a bunny, monkey and pony on my bed. I say they belong to Melvin (dog) but really they're mine.
Melvin, what a cute name for a dog! On one of my favourite tv shows, the main character’s dad’s girlfriend’s dog is called Melvin. The show is Sabrina the Teenage Witch (1996). I wonder if your Melvin is named after him?
Load More Replies...Not a stuffed animal, but I sleep with the crocheted blanket my grandmother made when my mom announced she was pregnant with me. I usually hug 1/2 and tuck the rest up under my neck making my pillow a bit more comfortable.
I have a raven, he doesn't have a name, but he's very soothing.
Load More Replies...As a kid i had lots of stuffed animals and id have to say goodnight to each of them so none would feel left out or unloved… but as i got more stuffed toys it became too tiring and timeconsuming to say goodnight to each one every night, so i appointed my favourite one as the “chief goodnighter” i would say goodnight to him and what to say to the others and he had the job of saying goodnight an giving my love to every other toy once i was asleep
Delegation is the key to successful staff management. 🙂
Load More Replies...Sometimes, we keep things from loved ones and not always for the wrong reasons.
a. Maybe protect them
If we believe the truth might destroy their peace of mind
We think we’re shielding them from pain they don’t need to feel
It comes from a place of care, even if it’s misguided
b. Because we are ashamed of the truth
When something happens that we regret or feel guilty about
We fear judgment or disappointment
Sometimes it’s easier to pretend it never happened
c. To avoid an awkward situation
When the truth might just make things weird or uncomfortable
We worry it might ruin the mood or create tension
So we quietly tuck it away and carry on like nothing’s wrong
My son was really into digging holes when he was 6. Had a 3ft deep one going in the yard because he was convinced he was on top of some old ruins. Kept bringing small old things into the house that he was so excited he discovered, and displayed them in his room after cleaning them.
To this day, he doesn’t know I’d been going to the flea market every Saturday and buying small bits of old looking junk and planting them in the hole for him to find.
Very well done. Though, I doubt the trinkets were necessary to keep him digging. I remember digging holes as a kid without even expecting to find anything. Just enjoyed digging the hole. The hell is up with kids 😂
Load More Replies...I love this. It reminds me of the kid who didn't realize that the flashlight she used to read after bedtime never needed new batteries.
Haha, reminds me of the time I was little, I was digging in my Grandma and Grandad’s back garden and my cousin (4 years older than me) convinced me that I had found a piece of the Great Wall of China, and the hole was only like an inch deep! The piece I had found was just a shard of brown glass, no idea how I actually thought it was the wall!
At the school I work at, one of the kids started digging holes in the oval. He actually did find 'ruins', the foundations of an old (presumably within last centuy) house.
Never ever tell him. He will probably feel incredibly betrayed and stupid in retrospect.
Never share this information with him. He will likely feel incredibly betrayed and stupid in retrospect.
It's all fun and games until the kid ends up tunneling through the earth.
As a previous nanny, I've seen many first steps and heard many first words, but I never share that. When I leave I say something like, I think little one is soooo close to walking/talking! It's a special moment parents deserve, who am I to take that from them? One baby was walking with me for a full 2 weeks before he showed his new trick to his parents.
They do this at day cares and nurserys they will never tell you your child said a word or crawled/walked.
There was a husband who was the primary parent to their kids because his wife had the better paying job. And he’d never tell his wife about any of their kid’s first, he’d wait for her to see and pretend it was the first time so she wouldn’t feel bad about working so much.
I wasn't so lucky. My grandmother babysat for me and told me when he did things FIRST, including his first tooth. bummer
YOU are a rock star! I know so many working parents (mostly moms) that carry guilt for not being there for these milestones when they may really not have any choice. It's a wonderful thing for you to do, and it really doesn't hurt anyone.
I worked in childcare. Used to do the same thing. Used to have parents that used to either have to work because they had no other choice, single mothers, single fathers or just parents who didn’t bother with their kids so when they left their children at the childcare and the babies would say their first words to us/me we never told them. But when they showed up and the baby SUDDENLY said the first word in front of mums and dad we all got excited for them! When baby suddenly started taking their first steps in front of mum and dad we all got excited! Never told them. Never took that away from them ever. I think deep down some of the knew, but they never said anything or let on that they did.
Call me weird, but I cannot understand why being present when your kid says his/her first word is so important. You know that when they start they won't stop, until you have a monstrous headache? True story.
When I was about 16 or 17 I wanted a cat so badly, and my mum had consistently being saying nope all my life.
So I went in the classifieds at the back of the newspaper, found someone giving away free kittens, and I went and got one.
When my mum came home that day, I told her that I met a man down by the docks with a cardboard box full of kittens, and he was going to throw it in the water if he couldn't get rid of them. So I took one.
She did try to give her away a few times to various friends, but nobody wanted a kitten, and she got attached to her. To the point that she wouldn't let me take her with me when I moved out for university.
She loves telling that story of how we ended up with a cat that I wasn't supposed to get, and that sweet baby lived to be almost 20 in the end. She brought home many mice and birds, and once, a weasel.
I named her Turnip, after Baldrick's turnip in Blackadder.
RIP Turnip. You lived a lie, but you were loved, and your fake origin story continues to delight at the dinner table!
Same here, when I was 15 :) I had a friend who lived at a farm. They did not take good care of their cats. My parents warned me: we don't want any of their cats! One kitten was very sick. So I put it in a shoebox, in my sadle bag and biked home (1hour). Stood there in the kitchen, with a visibly sick kitten and told my parent that I found it along the road. Of course we kept her... She was estimated to be 2 months by the vet (she was 4m) and had epilepsy. But she lived to be 18 :)
Cats are half domesticated, but they act on their own...
Load More Replies...We got a kitten a couple of weeks ago, completely black. We don’t know if they’re a boy or a girl, so we came up with names: Salem (boy) and Hilda (girl) from our favourite tv show, Sabrina the Teenage Witch. It’s completely mental and runs round like a mad head, lol. We have another cat (10+, unsure of age) called Chuck after Chuck Norris, as he was violent as a kitten. He’s the cat in my profile pic, and he practically lives outside now as it’s the summer, but I’m sure he’ll come back and stay inside in the winter (he comes in a few times a day for food, but then goes back outside).
When our grandson was about 3 my wife brought two kittens home. He promptly named them Broccoli and Ghost.
Load More Replies...We weren't cat people. Then, one day, driving to a boot sale, we saw a dinky little kitten abandoned by the side of the road. Mom said "one chance, it comes to us we'll take it to a rescue centre". It came, it sat on my lap, MEW! MEW! *MEW*! Going to the rescue centre became going to the vet to get a check up. And getting a food bowl and some kitten food on the way back because it clearly wasn't happy with cow's milk (it's all we had). And that, my friends, is how we became cat people. 🐱
I took my garbage outside one cold winter night, and didn’t close the door all the way - odd for me. When I got back a couple minutes later, a cat had walked through the open door and was sitting in my living room. He was very friendly and would not leave 😂 I even left the door open for like half an hour so he could walk out if he wanted but nope. Since it was winter I decided to let him spend the night - all I had to feed him was leftover turkey from Christmas a few days before and he loved it, so I named him Turkey. He was definitely a stray. He had some health problems and I didn’t have the money to take him to the vet for another few weeks, and when I took him they unfortunately had to put him down due to his issues, but I spoiled the hell out of that cat and I’m glad his last month on earth was spent somewhere warm and loving. 🥰
Unfortunately, cats killing birds is apparantly a big problem in the Netherlands.
That's why you keep your pet cat indoors. It is safer for them and safer for birds and other native small wildlife (lizards, etc.) A cat can be harness-trained and walked if you think it absolutely "needs" outside time, or one can build a catio or other enclosure. Personally I think if a cat is given an enriched life indoors, it isn't "missing out" on going outside.
Load More Replies...My sister once brought home a kitten with the excuse that when she picked her up, the kitten's claws attached themselves to her shirt and she couldn't get it off...could be true I suppose, my sister was probably about 7 or younger--I don't know that she really knew how to lie like that then! We got to keep the kitten, too
But here’s the thing, not all secrets are created equal. Some harmless or wholesome secrets might not hurt anyone and can even bring a smile. But then, there are those heavy, damaging secrets that can shatter even the strongest relationship. It’s like carrying a secret weight—you might think it’s light, but over time, it drags you down and affects everyone around you. So, while a little mystery can be fun, some things are best shared openly.
My wife lost one of her favorite pair of gold earrings her parents gave her. She could not find the other after weeks of trying.
It had sentimental value as it was a 16th bday gift, so I knew she’d never want another set.
So I took the one she had around our big city to jewelers and shops until I found a matching one. Eventually found one, bought the pair. Dirtied it up at home and let her “find it” in her sock drawer.
Still have the other hidden in my desk in case she loses the other.
Sheds a new light on all these stories of lost items mysteriously being doubled.
You might enjoy Jorge Luis Borges' short story 'Tlön, Uqbar, Orbis Tertius' 🙂
Load More Replies...Mr Auntriarch lost his wedding ring so we got a new one made but using the gold from a cross and chain that belonged to his father (which he was never going to wear). Obviously he found it about six months later, sods law
My husband’s ring was lost while he was working outside. A year later, once he gave up on finding it and ordered a new one, it turned up in the garden…
Load More Replies...Plot twist - she eventually finds the lost one and can't figure out why she now has three.
I'm not quite sure how I feel about this one. It's the sort of thing that if she ever does find out it may cause grief. But this person seems to be coming from a good place, so maybe it's ok
I helped a friend out with ad money on her blog and views and YouTube stuff I would regularly click on ads on different devices so she could get the money from them I also used multiple devices and accounts to help her get a boost on her blog and her YouTube channel. I would write in different ways and say different things to make sure they all didn’t sound too Similar. Also being bilingual helps so I was able to write in English and Spanish
She’s gotten a big enough following she doesn’t need it anymore but to this day she doesn’t know it was me who left all of those encouraging comments and likes and reposts and thing of that nature.
Why don’t you mind your own business? Don’t criticise a lovely story.
Load More Replies...
My daughter lost her favorite stuffed animal and was devastated. I went online and found a replacement on eBay for an insane price because it turns out her stuffed puppy was a collector’s edition (fml) and the one I found was in mint condition.
I then rubbed it in dirt, washed it a few times, and ripped off its leather on its nose and filled it in with black permanent marker, all so it matched the one she had. We then told her that her puppy had been found and the joy on her face made the expense and time it took crafting it well worth it.
She is thirteen now and still keeps her puppy on her bed. I plan to take this to my grave.
How about this for comparison. I collect teddy bears, Mostly Boyd's. At the peak of my collection I was 150 away from having every bear Boyd's made. My now ex wife sold some including one I told her absolutely wasn't for sale for any price. Took my almost 20 years to find another one. It cost me $250, I don't know how much she sold mine for but you can bet it wasn't anywhere close to that. Best I can determine, she siphoned off around 700 bears and sold them for far less then they cost and in some cases, pennies on the dollar of what they were worth.
Load More Replies...Honestly, I think if she found out the puppy would mean even more to her.
Take financial secrecy, for example. Maybe you’re hiding a secret credit card debt or a surprise purchase from your partner, thinking it’s “no big deal.” But money is one of the biggest stress points in relationships. When your partner finds out you’ve been keeping secrets about finances, it can lead to serious trust issues and arguments. Being transparent about money isn’t always easy, but it builds a foundation of honesty and teamwork.
In 2009 my best friend was struggling to pay rent when his TV broke. So I went and bought him an at the time 42 inch HDTV for over $1,000. I knew he would never accept me spending that much as a gift.
So I took it out of the box and put a few small scratches on the back of it and told him I bought a new TV and that he could have my old one that I didn't use anymore.
Well, he's doing way better now financially, but he has no idea I did that and I will never tell him.
"I went and bought him an at the time 42 inch HDTV": How big is it now? 🤪
When my brother was 4 he won a stuffed animal from a claw machine and it was his favourite thing ever, slept with it every night for weeks he fell asleep on the couch and was carried to bed but left his stuffed animal on the floor and the dog decided to tear it to pieces during the night. I spent $40 trying to win another one and put it under his bed for him to find.
We moved to Papua New Guinea when our 2 daughters were 3 & 1, respectively. The older one had a matching stuffed bear & dog that she called Ted & Woofy. Not long after moving, she lost Ted & we couldn't find a replacement in Port Moresby so, as you can imagine, daughter was very upset. I wrote to my mother in Australia & asked her to see if she could find replacements - we'd bought the originals in a pharmacy - in case there were any more losses. My mother could only find the bears & mailed 3 to us. We roughened one up a bit & told our daughter we'd found it behind suitcases in the laundry. It was just as well we had replacements because she lost another one when a dog somehow sneaked into our yard & took off with Ted in its mouth while both daughters were having their afternoon sleep. For context, this was back in the early 1970's, so no internet or mobile phones. We had a landline but calls to Australia were very expensive & reception wasn't always the best
After all the sibling horror stories I’ve read/heard, this one was very refreshing! :) (ps I’m an only child so I have zero personal experience with the whole sibling thing)
When I was dating my now wife, her son took my car for a joyride while we were out of town.
When we got back from our out of town trip I noticed something was amiss on my car. When I got in it, I noticed the sunshade was installed backwards, I would never do that on accident.
I then pulled the dashcam footage. He took it around the neighborhood. He didn't do any donuts, or burn any tires. Just a nice slow stroll through the neighborhood with the music playing and I assume waved and some people.
I ended up just handling it man to man. he was like 17-18 at the time. I never told his mom about it.
How about Accidentally? It ranks up there with "All of a sudden" instead of suddenly.
Load More Replies...Might want to proofread your own comments if you're playing the pedant and correcting someone's grammar or vernacular ;)
Load More Replies...Now, what about secret relationships? This one’s a no-brainer when it comes to relationship deal-breakers. Whether it’s a secret fling or emotional affair, hiding a relationship from your spouse or partner is a betrayal that cuts deep. It damages trust, creates emotional distance, and often ends in heartbreak. Some secrets are worse than others, and this is definitely one of them. Honesty is painful sometimes, but it’s better than deception.
Telling strangers “oh my gosh, my dog loves you!!” my dog loves everyone but it doesn’t make the statement untrue.
My 13 month old puppy loves to meet new people and the second they extend their hand, he playfully hops backwards & spins around. This sometimes startles people so I tell them he must really like them because he only does that with people he wants to play with. He does it with everyone, all the time.
For those of us who are unable to have a dog for one reason or another, meeting a friendly dog makes our day.
I think a dog’s snout is cleaner than the hands of a man who doesn’t wash them after going to the toilet and scratches his balls every ten minutes.
Load More Replies...Ah, someone who has never felt the unconditional love of a pet. I feel sad for you :)
Load More Replies...
I convinced my sister I had entered us both in a blog giveaway, I won a coupon but she won the grand prize , a $300 gift card to Lane Bryant. My sister was a size 16, and desperately needed new clothes but would spend money on her baby grandkids and thin adult daughters. This was the only way I could make sure she spent it on herself. It’s been 10 years. She’s doesn’t know.
Dad, I lied that day in kindergarten when I said I had a tummy ache and needed to go home.
I was totally fine, I was just super bored and wanted to spend time with you.
I've only ever lied ONCE about not going to school. I think I was about 6 and I told my Mum I felt 'poorly' and couldn't go to school. She actually spoke with my teacher and my teacher told her to tell me there's a magician going into school that day. She told me, I felt immediately better and went to school - no magician though :( learned my lesson!
Load More Replies...In first grade I had something similar happen except I pretended to oversleep to skip school as I was being bullied at the time. I found out recently that my parents knew about it so they would allow me to skip school whenever I felt it. Once I changed schools I stopped trying to skip
My 11yo son can take a day off at any time, with little to no questions asked. Because he goes to an international private school with remote learning (2-4 days in class, 1-3 days home) he isn’t bound to attendance. But we also have an agreement that if he goes to class 30 days in a row without missing any planned day (appts, travel & me taking him out doesn’t count) & keeps good grades, he earns a “big ticket” item or an allowance on his Apple Cash card.
When I was a kid, a "big ticket item" was a pair of shoes that came in a box, instead of tied together.
Load More Replies...I had an agreement with my kids - as long as they were on top of their homework and there weren't any tests that day, they could take a "mental health day". Everyone deserves to play hooky once in a while.
I had a few legit childhood diseases, maybe that's how I learned a pretty convincing "bronchitis cough." Mom would hear it as she went past my room, and she would keep walking. It probably got me out of a week's worth of elementary school over a couple of years, but I don't feel bad, because my sister stayed home for a month one year, and I don't think any of us believe she was really sick.
Then there’s addiction concealment, which can be incredibly tough to admit. Whether it’s alcohol, gambling, or even something like social media or shopping, hiding an addiction means hiding a struggle. Your loved ones can’t help or support you if they don’t know what’s going on. Keeping this secret can make you feel isolated, and over time, the relationship suffers from lack of trust and communication.
I once told a girl I was dating I loved the dish she cooked for me. In reality, it was terrible. 25 years later, my wife is still cooking it at least once a month because it's my "favorite." I've never been able to tell her, but now I've let my 8 year old daughter in on it. She'll prance up to my wife and say "Let's cook Daddy's favorite tonight!" Then she turns around and looks me dead in the eye with a s**t-eating grin on her face.
One can always develop odd food sensitivities later in life. I'm not peanut-allergic and never have been, but now that I'm 43, if I eat even a small amount peanut butter after 12pm, I'll have an acidy stomach and heartburn. It was NEVER like that before my 40s XD OP could develop a "ooo something in this dish gives me heartburn now that I'm older! so weird!" type of reaction XD
Age does funny things to us. I never dreamed that I would develop lactose intolerance in my 60s. Fortunately, there are lots of lactose-free dairy products available now.
Load More Replies...50 years ago, my ex and her family (it was a group effort) used to make this crab meat and cheese on toast stuff. Her dad never liked me but they were excited about me joining them for this. I went over and walked in the door and was grossed out by the awful smell of this stuff. Thankfully the house was crowded and it was very warm so I took my plate out to the porch and sat down. I had no idea what I was going to do with this stuff, it looked nasty and smelled worse. She got up to get something to drink and I raked almost the whole plate into a very large shrub out front. She/they never knew how badly I disliked it and I've never been able to even look at that stuff again. Ironically, many years later I went to work at a popular seafood place and led the restaurant in crab leg sales. I gagged with every plate I served.
When I cook for someone, I ALWAYS tell them to PLEASE tell me if you don't like it, because if you don't, I will continue to make it for you, and that doesn't benefit anyone! Of course, you have to be able to handle the bad reviews, but thankfully I can, so it's all good
When I was about 6 yrs old I had a pet turtle and his tank sat on top of my dresser and the only way for me to reach the top of the tank was the climb on top of the windows sill so I could lift the top.
My mother told me if I ever fell from there I wouldn't be allowed to feed my turtle by myself.
So one day I fell ...bad ...top of my head hit the corner of the bed frame and squirted blood...I ran to my mother not in pain but in shock from the amount of blood...she screamed in horror...ambulance came and went to the hospital. My mother and the Doctor asked me how it happened. I really didn't want to lose the privilege of feeding my turtle so I made up a lie on the spot
"I was jumping and flipping on my bed and landed head first on the radiator"
I'm 39 now and til this day that's the story my whole family believes "remember when you flipped on your bed and landed on the radiator and had to get stitches.".
My granddaughter was jumping on her bed and bounced into the nightstand, splitting her lip. As you know, head/face injuries bleed profusely. She was pretty calm about it, but would later ask, "Moto (her name for me) remember when my BLOOD come out?" in a rather menacing tone.
I don't like Pokemon. It was my brother's special interest growing up, and I saw so much of it that I started to hate it. My partner adores Pokemon. So of course, I'm gonna let them rant, I'm gonna let them put on all the competitive vids, I'm gonna let them deck my room in pokemon collectors stuff, I'm gonna let them do pretty much whatever they want that's Pokemon related, because I'm not about to dull their sparkle over that.
Being an adult means realizing that you can do whatever you want and don't have to give a fúck about whether other people find your hobby weird or not. (As long as it's not hurting anyone, obviously)
Load More Replies...Another tricky secret is hiding your true intentions. Maybe you’re pretending to want a long-term future when you’re actually unsure. Or perhaps you’re making decisions behind your partner’s back because you don’t want to upset them. These little white lies and hidden motives can build walls between you. Relationships thrive on clear intentions and openness, but without that, confusion and resentment creep in.
My father has Alzheimer's and I've been secretly "stealing" sentimental items (family photos, things I made for him as a child, etc) from his house here and there because I know his wife will throw it all out once he's gone.
She may not be evil, but when he dies, she will have no need for them. It will be her home from then on. They likely will not visit her much, but, if you help her to understand why you want them and love them, she should be willing to let you all come take them, before she cleans house so to speak. Foster goodwill not more hurtful intentions.
Load More Replies...That's really sad. My husband passed over 6 yrs ago and my step kids store stuff in my garage. I see at least one of them everyday. Their kids are my grandkids. I love all of my kids, blood or not.
awful that you have to do that. I'm planning ahead and have items marked for kids/grandkids and have told them all so they know. what they do with them after is up to them
Take some in a suitcase to your home. Take pic’s of them all. Then take those back, and get new things, take pic’s of those. Keep doing it until all the sentimental items and things are documented and logged by pictures. Then take them back to your dad’s. Sit down with her, and tell her this. My dad loves you. But when he dies, all the sentimental things he has loved and us kids have loved all these years, are now photographed and documented. If any of it disappears after he dies, or are thrown away, We will personally hold you responsible for the missing and or thrown away items we can’t find. They belong to us kids, not you. So, please let us take them and keep them. We do not want to press charges for destruction of property. Besides you do not want or need them. We do. They are memories of us and dad. So please, be kind. Let us remove them. Before you clean stuff out. We would really appreciate this gesture of love, for my dad and us.
My daughter worked at a gourmet store in high schook, she would make all sorts of fancy things at home, I am picky and boring but try not to let it be an issue.
Two things I really dislike are the smell of jasmine and taste of lime. Don't know why, just do.
Daughter made jasmine lime rice. It was like eating an air freshener, I concentrated and got it down. Cleaned my plate, because thats what you do.
Much later in life, my ex wife her mom told her how much I hated those two things , and daughter remembered that meal and called me to tell me I should have told her. I said, no, that's not the right thing.
One of the first times my now wife and I visited her parents they made lamb outside on the grill. I have always disliked any kind of sheep meat, but having just met them and wanting to make a good impression I of course complimented them on it. After that, just about every time we visited they'd make that lamb again "because I liked it so much". After several years I told my wife that I didn't think I could eat it again. She told them and they, being the type of people they were, thought it was hilarious (and never made it for me again).
One day I came home late at night drunk and decided to walk my dog. Just when we arrived outside my house my dog attacked a racoon hanging around the area. I ended up wrestling my malamute and freed the racoon from his jaws.
Here's the thing. I was drunk and the racoon kinda just stared at me infront of me and I decided to try and pet the racoon. I got maybe one pet in before it took a chunk out of my finger. I ran into the house leaving a trail of blood up to my brothers room for help. A sleepless night in the hospital and 4 consecutive rabies shots later was the result.
Everyone asked me what happened and I just told them while I heroically wrestled my dog to save the racoon I got bit in the process. They still don't know the real story. It still gets brought up 10 years year.
I'm inclined to believe it totally was. You don't just resist the allure of forbidden trash bandit fur.
Load More Replies...Racoons think they can get away with anything. Because they all wear masks.
My family and I leave plastic ducks all over the city, or my children ask people that appear to be having a bad day if they would like a duck, nine times out of ten they take the duck and walk away with a smile, the other times they usually get confused and just walk away.
Actually because of this, my kids collet little rubber duckies and give them to me so I can add them to my ever growing and heavily fortified foul military members.
😆.
I had a nightmare with rubber ducks.They started to put eggs while laughing and spawned monsters. It was a WTF dream!
"Would you like a duck?" can be an interesting question if the other person is a little hard of hearing.
I have no less than four little ducks sitting on my computer right now, all of which I found deliberately placed in random locations. One of them glows in the dark! I was so taken with this that I did the same thing, and I'm still occasionally going back to see which of my hidden little friends have been found. At least one is still sitting right where I left it.
The ceiling gets much lower here, so this is a message that you should....🦆! 1754932561...0eb0fe.jpg
OMG THATS AWESOME!!!!!!!! Ducky has been there a while but is comfy!!!
Load More Replies...Sometimes, people keep their actual personality a secret. It could be changing yourself to fit what you think your partner wants, or even lying about who you really are to be liked more. This can feel like putting on a mask every day, which is exhausting and unfair to both people. Over time, hiding your true self damages intimacy and trust because your partner never truly knows you.
My mum is a health nut (with probably disordered eating) who wouldn’t let us have cheese in the house when I was kid. When I was mid 20s, I bought a unit and my dad was helping me fix stuff up so I provided lunch. I said to him - bet you’re going to hate going back to work next week and not have any cheese on your sandwiches. It was then he told me his deepest secret, he had been buying blocks of cheese at work for years. I had no idea he was crafty. And my mum still doesn’t. Poor dad has been retired for years though so not sure on the current cheese consumption status.
Cute, though people shouldn't have to sneak in food just because a "health nut" doesn't know about nutrition....
Agreed. That kind of controlling behavior is unwelcome in my life.
Load More Replies...The "crafty" part made me chuckle because here in Australia we have Kraft Cheese.
I'm not ashamed to say that I grew up in a house that always had a box of Kraft singles (or Velveeta "cheese product" singles) in the fridge, and still I love them to this day XD I do love REAL cheese as well and I'm actually quite fond of a good goat or sheep cheese, but I do love me those hideous plastic-wrapped squares of floppy cheeselike substance as well...
Load More Replies...Shocking how some people manage to impose weird nutritious rules to their loved ones…
I agree. I've always been bothered by one spouse telling the other that he or she isn't allowed to have certain food or drinks in the house.
Load More Replies..."I'm a vegan, so everyone else has to be, too". My wife is capsaicin intolerant, and I love curries. I make her curries - kormas and passandas and other things, while I have something different. I've been doing that for years. It's not hard to incorporate another's food preferences.
Shocking how some people manage to impose their weird views on health habits to their relatives….
You know, I don't mind somebody talking about things that they think are unhealthy - my mother used to go on and on about my sugar consumption - but I don't think I could live with somebody that expected me to conform to their dietary predilections.
My dad is a doctor. When my daughter was little she was terrified of hurting her ankle. Like anytime she got the slightest twinge or rolled it slightly, she was convinced it was broken. My dad would take her to the office and run a fetal heart Doppler over her little ankle and tell her it was an X-RAY machine and her ankle was fine.
She’s 13 and still convinced that papa took actual x rays of her ankle. I’m never going to tell her otherwise.
My friend is a major, major, Death Cab for Cutie fan. They came to our city a couple years ago, and I knew she wouldn’t be able to afford the tickets to go. She was upbeat about it, but I know she was devastated by it.
I bought tickets. Two days before the show, I told her that the friend I originally planned to take couldn’t go, and would she please come with me? There was no other friend. Told her I loved the band and would be sad to miss them. She of course accepted, and had the time of her life.
She’s doing much better now, but every couple of Christmases or Birthdays, she gets me some Death Cab merchandise because “she knows how much I love the band.”
I can’t stand their music. I literally have them blocked on Spotify. But now it’s gone too far where I can’t tell her.
Not heard of them, but a quick search finds "I will follow you into the dark" which I have to say I quite like. I think I might even try it out on finger-picked 12-string - I need a few more songs for my set-list.
That is the complete opposite of what I was expecting. I was set for music along the lines of Hypocrisy who only has 1 song I like (Eraser) and it would be better with a different vocalist.
Load More Replies...This is the kind of secret you don't need to keep anymore. Sit them down, be straight with them, and tell them the true story: that you care for them so much you just bought them the ticket, and that you hate their music. Because what is this secret, at it's heart? "I care about you" -- don't keep that secret from anyone!
Fun Fact: They got the name for the band from the Beatles' film "Magical Mystery Tour," which featured the Bonzo Dog Doo-Dah Band singing a song called Death Cab for Cutie. The "Paul is Dead" conspiracy crowd even glommed onto that title as proof that Paul was dead, as he was the "cute" Beatle and the "death cab" was a hearse.
A member of Death Cab For Cutie collaborated with another musician through the mail and made an album. They named the band The Postal Service and it's still a great listen 20 years later.
that would bug the $h!t out of me, getting stuff by someone/something I really dislike. Please consider telling your friend, sooner rather than later, as diplomatically as possible (maybe you've outgrown them or start talking about another band that you actually DO love). Your friend is wasting good money on stuff you don't like!
Friend likes band. OP does not like band. Friend does not have money for tickets. OP does have money for tickets. OP buys tickets. OP shares ticket with friend. Friend is happy. Friend does not know OP does not like band. OP's love of friend > OP's dislike of band. The end.
Load More Replies...
I ate the crumble off the top of my mom's apple crisp and blamed it on the cat. Years after the cat passed, my parents tell the story of how she ate the crumble as a cute anecdote.
Come clean! It was a 'thing' in our family to wait for the (non-existent) statute of limitations to run out before we regaled our parents with funny stories that set the record straight. Always ended with surprised looks and lots of laughter
We had a cat that once we all left the dinner table, he would jump up, steal the stick of margarine, and take it under the table to lick it! I caught him at it once, he started at me very wide eyed, and I never told my mother, I just took the stick and smoothed out the lick marks on it! Otherwise he was a great cat!
While keeping secrets might seem harmless or even protective, it can quietly chip away at the relationship. Trust is fragile, and once broken, it’s hard to repair. Sharing openly, even when it’s uncomfortable, helps build a stronger bond. But here’s the good news: not all secrets are bad. Some are silly, sweet, or even inspiring, reminding us of the small joys and quirks in life. Just like these posts. So, which of these secrets made you smile or think twice?
I've been with my spouse for almost 17 years. He has no idea how much I love chips.
Cool ranch doritos, sour cream and onion Lays, cheddar sour cream Ruffles. I can inhale an entire bag in one sitting easily.
I only buy them when I know he's going out for the evening or he's away on a trip.
He's a health nut and always has been. We generally don't keep any junk food in the house save for the odd dark chocolate bar here and there.
Little does he know, I'm face-deep in a bag of chips the moment he leaves the house.
This is not a "harmless" secret. Just because one's spouse/partner is a "health nut" does NOT mean they can impose THEIR eating habits on you. I learned this during my 24-year-long relationship from hell - where I didn't care as much about what I ate, how I exercised, or what I weighed (within reason.) My then-boyfriend made out an exercise plan that he instructed me to follow, and told me my caloric allotment was 1,200 calories per day - that was all I was allowed to eat. He said I was too fat at 140/150lbs (I'm 5'5".) He would get P!SSED when/if he found out I ate a burger/fast food/etc. Let's just say that this kind of secret ALWAYS ends up being outed and it is NOT a good one to keep, simply because no one else can tell you what you can and can't eat if it's just snacks/chips. (EDs notwithstanding - people with true EDs can benefit from professional help, for their own health/mental health!)
1000 calories / day intake used to be implemented as a t0rture method
Load More Replies...Sorry but ,that partner is coercive , it’s comes in all shapes n sizes , n forms, not allowing treats etc so op has to eat stuff when he’s not at home , IS JUST PLAIN WRONG !! ,sorry op,you need to just buy them. eat what YOU WANT not what he forces on you !!
Eat them in front of him. If he doesn't like it, cool, more for you. But don't feel ashamed of your guilty pleasures.
Been there, done that -- though just once in a while. It's potato chips that are my downfall-- so I've started trying hard not to buy them. Much.
And... I'm pretty sure he probably does know. From the other side of what Lakota mentioned, it could be (maybe not quite as serious, but) like when My 600lb Life stars go out for several breakfasts and pretend they're "doing errands". (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cEZ_x20YXrQ&t=2371s -- hello, Maja!) Either way, it's not conducive to a good relationship and you shouldn't have to justify what you eat.
I can't remember why, but I was mad at my Dad for something. As revenge I added extra chili powder and hot sauce to our family chili. Turns out my family never really added enough seasoning to the chili as it was, and the food actually tasted a lot better as a result of my revenge tactic.
I've overcorrected as an adult on seasoning food at times, but I do make a mean chili.
Right. My wife will say "that's got a little kick." I'm over here looking for a something to put out the flames and know I'll need a Blizzard to wipe my a** with later.
Load More Replies...My ex-wife did this to me once, also because she was mad, and it was the best batch of that food she ever made! She feels terrible about it now but I tell her not to worry about it
Sounds like my family. I'm not unfond of the family chili, but it's so mild it's more like a tomato-based meat stew than chili.
my mum has a recipe book from the 70s, maybe early 80s. it's been around as long as I remember, anyway. there is a recipe for chilli con carne in it that says to add "1 teaspoon of chilli powder if liked" followed by a warning that it's very strong. that's the only seasoning in the so called chilli, and it's optional. if you choose not to add it, it's basically mince and onions.
My parents didn't want me to learn to ride a bike until I turned 8, but I really wanted to learn, so I snuck into the garage when they weren't paying attention and the garage didn't have cars in it and rode my sisters bike in circles and crashed into things until I figured it out. Then I would sneak out and ride around the neighborhood for 2 years, and no one had any idea I was gone (it was the 80s, being a kid was different back then).
Then, when I was 8, they bought me a bike for my birthday, and I was so excited, I forgot the secret, jumped on and rode off expertly. "Wow, Magic, you're really picking that up fast!" I realized what I had done and pretended to fall off, and then had to "re-learn" for them before I could go riding.
The omg no wrap em in cotton wool helicopter parents lol , eugh both mine had bikes from two yrs old like normal kids with normal family’s do , right of passage isn’t it
Load More Replies...I didn't learn until I was eight, but I think it was because nobody had time or inclination to teach me. Dad was about a hundred miles away, Mom was always at work, and my older sisters barely knew how to ride themselves, or wanted to. Years later, I've had about 15 bicycles and 13 motorcycles
Load More Replies...
I’m teaching my granddaughter to glue google eyes on Mrs Butterworth and other packages with eyes when we’re in the grocery store. We have so much fun! She’s only three!
You can bet someone in todays snowflake, self-entitled society will be offended and demand compensation from the store manager in the form of discounted or free groceries. Op's fault? No. It's the fault of spineless managers and corporate CSRs giving in to ridiculous demands for the last 30+ years
Load More Replies...I thought this was a cute activity until I realized they're doing it to products in a grocery store.
Yes the real issue is it will get tossed, just more food in the landfill. Do it at home.
Load More Replies...Might be cute for the child, but other people buy the food after !!not hygenic or sanitary what so ever please stop this !!doubt theshop owners approve either tbh
Oof. Don’t you know how packaged food is stored? Like, at dirty, huge places full of rats and cockroaches? I’d be happy to find googly eyes on food, normally i assume there’s just rat urine. And about fruits and vegetables? Come on, they come from the ground!
Load More Replies...Do this in your own house and pantry, but it's not acceptable to do it in a store altering their merchandise that you haven't paid for.
If I understand well, the Mrs. Butterworth works similarly to ketchup: the outside of the bottle will never get in contact with the content (or only if the user sqeezes out the content and puts the bottle in the condiment.) I know the three-year-old doesn't know the difference between putting googly eyes on a sqeeze bottle and an apple, hence, teaching her this form of prank is not harmless. However, the packages being decorated won't do any harm. (Mainly, as the packaging may be soiled with everything including rat urine.)
I'm going to go against all the naysayers in the comments here and say creative vandalism is underrated. I'm cool with fighting the system to make people's lives brighter! ...And why would it get thrown out because someone put stickers on the outside of a bottle or box - stickers that can really be pulled off? Y'all's thick or sumthin?
I tell my partner that we're all out of his favourite snacks, so when he's having a rough moment, I can pull one of them out from where I've hidden them and announce with great delight that I had just found it.
I had a partner who loved that Coke in a glass bottle but was trying to quit soda. I kept a few sneak cokes around just in case.
I also love those little cokes in the bottle and quit drinking soda but once in a great while I want a soda and it's always those little cokes in the bottle I crave. I can tell you with great certainty that you made your partner very happy.
Load More Replies...Some people are really slow. Yes, I’m talking about myself, I would never realize what was going on.
Load More Replies...
I like looking at my dvd collection rather than using them. I don’t know why i feel like i’d be called weird for just holding the case of my favourite show and just stare at it for a while being happy i own it before putting it away.
Not at all. It's like an external bookmark for your favourite memories.
I really like your description of it being an external bookmark.
Load More Replies...As long as it doesn't hurt anyone, we should all have the space to do whatever we wish to.
I'm the same way about my 10K vinyl albums. Yes, I do play them, but I do love holding them occasionally!
Nothing odd with that. I know an older man that collects dolls and brass because it makes him happy to own them.
Well, you actually OWN them! Not like streaming and NOT owning anything these days... I love my movie-collection a LOT! 😍
Hardly anyone that I work with knows that I am a widow. I lost my husband 7 years ago so it's not fresh or anything, it's just awkward to have to "come out" as a widow to people who don't know.
It's good that you've managed to get far enough through your grieving that it's no longer a core part of your being, as seen by other people. I'm not there yet, after 8 months, but I can feel that it's changing slowly.
It's only been 3 weeks since I gained the moniker of *widow* and to be honest, it sucks. I can't imagine feeling any better in a year. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. No one should ever have to lose their best friend and partner
Load More Replies...When I was a teenager, I never knew what to say when people asked how many siblings I had. My older brother died when I was 12.
I’m so sorry for the loss of OP’s husband, Ace’s partner, Mother of Giants’ husband, Huddo’s sister’s brother and knegret3’s husband. To all of you, I’m always here if you need to talk. ❤️
I personally don't think telling people you're a widow is any different then telling people you're single, divorced, or married. It's not necessarily something one just announced without being asked. My husband took his own life, and when asked how he died, because most people are curious, I tell them. I usually have to comfort them when they find out, but after eight years, I'm used to it, and don't mind it at all. Having said all that, everyone needs to respect their own preferences in what they chose to share about their personal lives.
I’ve been very intentionally moving everything in the break room just *slightly* off-center. The coffee pot, the sugar container, even the wall clock, always about an inch to the left. Just enough to unsettle anyone with a shred of spatial awareness. It’s been three months. No one’s said a word. But I *know* they feel it. The unease. The *wrongness.* And I sit there, sipping my coffee… watching the madness slowly bloom.
I don't have OCD but I do have an eye for symmetry. As long as it's not cattywampus it wouldn't bother me.
I just had to google what that means, and I'm so glad I now have a new word to add to my vocabulary. I love it.
Load More Replies...I used to work with a guy whose passion for order was legendary. Sometimes another colleague of ours would mess something up just to see what our finicky co-worker would do. He always put things back immediately. I don't think it was a true case of OCD; it just turned into a running joke among all of us. (The co-worker in question was a perfect fit for the job he did, which required just that kind of attention to detail.)
I once paid my mom's phone bill when I knew she was low on money. I got on her account on her phone while she was doing other things and I know her passwords so it was pretty easy, added my card as a one time payment only so it wouldn't save to her account and paid. She figured she just forgot she paid it and that's why she thought she was low on money. (My mom is ADHD and so am I, so forgetting stuff is very common.).
When I was a teenager I threw a relatively small house-party while my parents were away on holiday. The wooden floor in one room got scratched somehow during it and when my parents came home and noticed I 'confessed' by telling them I had tried using a skateboard on the treadmill but it slipped and damaged the wood.
My mom still brings it up as an example of how I'd be a terrible criminal and could never get away with anything.
My sister and I broke the leg off of one of our mums elephant statues when we playing on our skateboards in the living room ( which we were not allowed to do). We glued it back on and never told her. Around 10 years later my cousins toddler (that had just started walking that week) fell and knocked the elephant & that leg snapped right off. More that 25 years later and they still think my cousins kid did it. Side note: my mum wasn't angry, she got my grandad to glue it for her lol. She still has it in front of her fireplace.
Had something similar - brand new hardwood floors and my sister gouged one. I paid for the guy to come back and replace the 3 planks that were the most damaged and we didn't tell our mother. She still has no idea
Well, hate to break it to the OP, but they DIDN'T "get away" with anything - they still got caught for scratching the wood floor. They just lied about HOW it happened XD
I'd MUCH rather get in trouble for in-house skateboarding than being busted for throwing a party when my parents were gone.
Load More Replies...
I walk around the woods behind my house naked sometimes and pretend im on Naked and Afraid.
I'd 100% watch that show XD I'd never do it myself, because ticks, mosquitoes, biting gnats and flies, spiders, and unless you wear shoes, all the (literal) sh!t you might be stepping on XD
Load More Replies...I live far back in the pines. I could literally run around my house, swinging dïck naked and no one would see. Exept the wildlife. And they don't wanna see that shït!
If I was walking around naked in the woods I WOULD be afraid. Too many bugs and critters and I would be worried about my bits and pieces.
On the other hand, they're as exposed as you are, no sneaking around in your clothing.
Load More Replies...Years ago I would put on bathrobe only, grab a towel and at midnight or later go to the pool at my condo, whick was next to my unit, and swim, quietly, naked for a while. Just loved floating in the moonlight sans suit.
omg, i lol'd at this one. don't know that i could do it, but i imagine the feeling is very freeing
Just spray yourself down with some repellent.
Load More Replies...
I lied to my now-husband back when we were dating about baking a pie I bought at a bakery sale. It was the most delicious pie ever, and I can’t bring myself to tell him I didn’t make it. I’ve held onto that secret since 2009.
my husband told me how much he loved apple pie, I told him I made a mean one. We were having his family to dinner that week, so I went grocery shopping. With the other cooking I was doing, I knew I wouldn't feel like making a pie too, so I bought one. I didn't go out of my way to hide that it was store bought, he just wasn't very observant (unloading groceries with it, then the box in the garbage). After is was served post-dinner, he raved about how much his wife loved him to make him his favorite pie! Rather than correct him, and possibly embarrass the heck out of him, I waited until after everyone was gone to break the news to him. He was stunned, but got a good laugh out of it. The pie I made later, he also raved over--told him that it was an experiment, & it was actually a MOCK APPLE PIE (Ritz crackers). So great that he had an awesome sense of humor, and he actually got a real homemade apple pie after that, w/a promise that others w/a promise that future pies would be 'real'
I intentionally bombed a math competition in middle school because I didn't like the teacher over the program or being forced to do it by my parents. I blamed it on nerves and was not asked back. 😀.
I had no friends in junior high. No bullies, just basically ignored. In English class the teacher held a mock spelling bee. Because he announced scores on spelling quizzes, everyone knew I was good. I was picked first and after about 2 seconds realized I was being used, so misspelled my word. Like me for all of me, or not at all.
I intentionally got a multiple choice test 100% wrong. I wrote on the back that I knew the correct answers (I did) but I very much disagreed with grading on the curve. Somebody's score should depend upon how well *they* did, not how well others did. It caused quite the debate - should my test be included which would throw the curve askew and demonstrate that the scoring system was nonsense, or should it be omitted which would demonstrate that the scoring system was nonsense. In the end, the curve was dropped and we just got a percentage of correctly answered questions, which for me was 0%. 😂
When I was 6, my older brother and I were pondering what the female versions of our names would be.
I decided mine (Nate) would be Natalie, but my brother cuts me off before I could declare and said "you think yours is Natalie, don't you?"
"Uhhh.....no!" I stammered back, and refused to tell him the "real" name.
Fast forward over 2 decades to today, we're in our early 30s, and somehow that convo comes back up. He laughs and says "it was Natalie, wasn't it?"
In my head, the ancient pride of a tinier version of me roars, and demands I refuse to acknowledge he was right. Every other part of my brain facepalms at how ridiculous a hill to die on this is, and we compromise by telling him "What argument? Sorry I don't remember that..."
Oh, I remember, dear brother. But I will never confess!
Rick -> Rikki? I guess? I think if I was female, I'd prefer a proper female name like Felicity instead of a feminised male name or, worse, an non-specific name like Taylor.
I don’t actually think my name has a masculine variant… my middle name is neutral though so I’d probably just go with that.
I farted in a Physics tutoring class consisting of 6-10 people including the tutor.
A friend started yelling about the air conditioner having a bad smell. He suspected a bird or a mouse died there.
Finally we all had to move to continue the class in another room.
Until this day, no one in this group knows that I farted.
We were placed in a temporary office building that had a hairdresser at the other end. It took a few months of suspecting each other of surreptitiously farting in meetings before we collectively realized that what we smelled was the hairdresser giving a perm.
I farted in the lift at work once, everyone blamed it on Kerry. Sorry Kerry.
I better not read another secret of some guy saying my friend farted in the class but to save him from embarrassment, I blamed it on the air conditioner, we had to move to another class.
"SBD" as we used to say in school. Silent But Deadly.
Load More Replies...
My sister and I were playing ball in the house while mom was away.
While playing, the ball bounced into my mom's plaster religious bust. It toppled over and the head broke off.
I scrambled and glued it back on. Did a pretty good job for a 14 year.
My mom passed away. This is secret I still carry.
"I thought it was John the Baptist and wanted to make it more accurate"
When I was about 15 or 16 I had a sleepover with about 10 of my friends and my sister. I decided to have some fun with them, and pretended to sleep talk. They recorded it on a cassette tape, and I figured it would just be a fun harmless prank.
Well, nearly 30 years later, they still keep bringing it up. They still don't know that I was faking and I don't know how to tell them at this point because so much time has passed. That tape is still floating around. I hate it when they bring it up, and they think it's because I'm embarrassed about sleep talking but the reality is it was just a stupid prank I played when I was a teenager and I just never in a million years thought that it would still be going three decades later.
I remember when I was around 16 (I had just gotten my drivers' license) my best friend Andy and I babysat his two cousins one night. I had recently found one of my old "Acting With An Accent" cassettes, and so, in a fit of whimsy that only a weird teenager can feel, I faked a Scottish accent ALL NIGHT. I told Andy's cousins that I was FROM Scotland. They believed every word (to be fair, they were like 4 and 6.) Every time Andy and I babysat them again after that, I had to fake the Scottish accent AGAIN the entire time, or else the jig would be up. And I was *determined* to keep up the lie (for some reason, lol. I guess because teenager.) I did this for MONTHS (Andy and I were BFFs at the time and we did everything together, which is why his aunt was cool with both of us babysitting the kids together.) At one point I slipped and spoke in my normal voice, and the older girl was like "WHAT???" XD I told her I'd been working on "an American accent" to "fit in". She said I was doing great XD I FEEL SO BAD LOL
Staying with friends of the family in Germany for a couple of months. The mom was an amazing cook, and was very happy with how much I enjoyed the dinners she made. I hate cauliflower... the look and texture make me literally feel like gagging. One night she made a dish with cauliflower and I ate less than usual. She asked if I didn't like it (I thought) and I sheepishly said "just the cauliflower." She misunderstood, thinking that was the only part of the meal that I DID like. Every dinner after that, she made a special side cauliflower dish just for me. Of course I ate every one of them
So many of my friends are Star Wars fans and I smile and nod but I don’t tell them that I don’t care for those movies at all.
Sci-fi vs Space Opera. Not even same category to me
Load More Replies...I love Star Trek! Especially when Kirk takes the One Ring to Hogwarts, and Iron Man gets so upset!
My mother insisted I take her to the first Star Wars movie because Alec Guinness was in it.
I've only seen the 1st one just when it came out. Never went to another.
Likewise. I've probably seen most of the following two in odd snippets when someone else has been watching them on TV or scenes have been posted in memes and the like, the the "Luke I am your father" one, but never sat down and watched them.
Load More Replies...I've seen the first three. They were kind of a Christmas tradition in the UK for a while. I don't have any interest in the sequels. I watched those Rebel Moon ones (the tame initial release) and felt that they would have had a pretty good movie if they left half of it on the cutting room floor. Which is why I never bothered watching the later gorier release, I'm *not* going to spend actual hours watching people plant grain, tend to the grain, harvest grain and then talk about grain. For space done well, The Expanse. Though the final two Amazon seasons were a bit weird with the bizarre padding.
I used to hang out at a friend's house pretty regularly for parties. His downstairs bathroom's switches for the light and fan were opposite mine and it annoyed me to no end, especially after he fed me a few shots. One party I brought a screwdriver and after a couple drinks locked myself in the bathroom and swapped the switches in the double gang box. For the next several years it was glorious since it matched mine, and neither he nor his partner ever said anything or seemed to notice.
When I first moved into a house in France I found that all of the up/down switches (which to be fair was not many, as most were on multi-point and/or push button controls) were inverted compared to what I was used to in the UK, where up is off and down is on. So I systematically went round and swapped them all to be the other way round. I expect it will be really annoying once again when a French person buys the house. I'm told there are people who would neither care nor even notice such a thing, but I find it hard to believe.
This is the one thing I find annoying about a three-way switch (wiring two switches to control one lightbulb). One of the two switches is always wrong.
Load More Replies...A new GF flipped a lightswitch in my house that I had never noticed, the result of which was that when I flipped the usual switch, it was upside down. Part of my brain tried to say, "yeah, light switches reverse from time to time," and the rest of my brain said, "Shut up, there's clearly a 3-way switch you didn't know about." It was next to the porch lights I never use.
I only discovered recently that there's a standard (principally for the benefit of visually-impaired people) whereby the hot/cold taps on a sink are left/right respectively. The ones in the bathroom in the house I've lived in for 52 years are the other way round. I wonder why.
It's a box/housing meant to house electrical devices like lightswitches or outlets.
Load More Replies...
I have a “healthy lifestyle” online persona but I’m literally eating Nutella with a spoon as I type this
This is a reminder that you're not a bad person for struggling with these diets and theres no such thing as "bad" foods, because food has no moral value. Everything should be eaten in moderation . Also, caliries aren't your enemy. You need them, they are your friend- just a friend you dont too much of or it may get a bit much
Whilst I agree with food isn't moral... With this example I disagree. They're preaching "health lifestyle" whilst not following what they preach. Like an Abbott telling his monks to be chase whilst carrying a loyalty card for the local brothel isn't cool.
Load More Replies...So, OP is one of the many fake influencers. This is not harmless. I've read about one who pretended to follow a vegan diet, but was caught eating some fish. Then she confessed that the vegan diet -- that she promoted on her youtube channel, -- almost took her life, so she switched back to a more balanced diet. Still, she carried on with the lies, as that was her thing as an influencer. I hate these people.
Moderation in everything, including moderation. Cheat days can actually be beneficial to mental health and metabolism
OP Needs to listen to I am junk food jun kie. By Larry Groce
I love telling people I placed first in a national competition for shotokan karate. So naturally people assume I'm a really good fighter. I placed first in kata. I'm just really good at choreography.
That's what a lot of martial arts are, actually XD They weren't all intended for "combat" or murder!n' dudes, they were designed as physical forms of meditation, choreography, precision, focus, and physical exercise. Some of them are purely designed to be performative (such as Wushu.)
I hid my tooth under my pillow for the "tooth fairy" to find and give me money. I knew it was my dad giving me money.
So after he slipped cash under my pillow and threw the tooth away, i sifted through the trash and showed it to him and said I lost another tooth.
I got an extra 20 bucks
I've had type 1 diabetes since I was 3. On my 9th birthday, my grandma made a birthday cake for me, which was big enough for us all to share at the family party. Since there was so much food, we had plenty of leftover cake for the next few days, which I was only allowed to eat a little bit of.
When no one was around, I snuck into the kitchen and ate a couple slices of the leftover cake, plus I picked huge chunks of the icing off. It looked pretty haphazard by the time I snuck away again.
My parents soon found the remains of the cake. Since I'm diabetic, they didn't suspect that it was me who picked at the leftovers (I was usually a very well-behaved kid). They blamed it on our rather chubby cat, and promptly deemed it unacceptable for human consumption. It was a believable scenario because she had stolen human food in the past. Sadly, they threw the rest of the cake out.
I could never own up to it because I would have been in trouble for compromising my blood sugar levels, and for being greedy! My old cat never ratted me out for letting her take the blame, though. Thanks, Molly, R.I.P!
Edit: I'm a woman and this was the year 2000, before the medical technology we have now. Back then, I only checked my blood glucose at mealtimes so the crime wouldn't have been evident until the next morning, and that's only if I was honest about my blood glucose level! There was no such thing as sliding-scale dosage back then so eating more cake was very much a bad idea! Hence only being allowed a little bit.
Edit 2: it was sitting out on the kitchen table and hadn't been wrapped up and put away yet lol. It was butter icing which made the cat theory a bit more believable
Edit 3: we didn't have such easy access to info like cats taste receptors back then, so this didn't occur to my parents.
Butter icing is made from fats (butter.) A cat would absolutely still scarf it down even though it can't taste the "sweet" flavor XD Source: THIS GUY shinypreac...28642e.jpg
One of my cats, Poppy, seems to actively like some sweet things. She'll go for cake or biscuit crumbs or milk chocolate (I do sometimes let her like the tiniest of chocolate crumbs). My biscuits are usually buttery, but chocolate is quite unusual for cats to like and the cake is really odd. IMG_202507...4d9c8a.jpg
I don't know about dog taste receptors, but my pom has a sweet tooth for sure. And she likes bread. Of all sorts. And matzoh and saltines. She only gets the tiniest bites, and no chocolate, but it's obvious.
Not me but one of my mates, he is the nicest guy ever and would hate to make anyone feel bad. He told us a story about a problem he was having and we thought it was going to be something serious! His wife went to shop once and he asked her to get him some orange Lucozade, she came back with the original one as she thought it’s orange. He didn’t say anything as didn’t want to make her feel bad but now she always buys him it and he doesn’t like it but can’t say anything as she’ll wonder why he’s left it so long, we asked how long it’s been going on and he said 4 years!!! It’s such a stupid secret and something no one would care about but he feels so bad about it hahah.
He should tell his wife that the company changed the formula of the original flavor and now it tastes grody/different to him and that she should get him the Orange flavor for him from now on XD
No. It is to do with a drink called Lucozade. It comes in Original and Orange flavour. The man in the story likes the Orange flavour. One day he asks his wife to buy him some Orange Lucozade. She goes to the shop and picks up the Original flavour one. He doesn't want to upset hus wife by pointing out the mistake, so doesn't say anything. She keeps buying him Original flavour and now he doesn't know how to tell her.
Load More Replies...
For the longest time I told my kids that the ice cream van music was them telling us he was all out! They believed it into their early teens! 🤣🤣🤣 I wasn’t a complete arsehole either we have a local ice cream shop we would go to for a treat!
Every thanksgiving in San Luis Obispo my best friend and I are in charge of pies. We go to the Madonna Inn, a gloriously outlandish hotel/restaurant/bakery/resort, and ask for two of their pie boxes. We then go to Safeway and buy two much cheaper pies and put them in the boxes. We bring them to our large family gathering and everyone compliments the wonderful pies because of how amazing the Madonna Inn’s reputation is for baked desserts.
I’d like to say this is because of concerns about cost or because the Safeway pies are better, but the truth is my bf and I have been doing this for about a decade now and it’s just become one of our favorite traditions together.
The Madonna Inn cakes are crazy! If the pies are anything like the cakes, how did you find a store bought that looked like theirs do? Also, hopefully you got to see some of the crazy hotel rooms they have and use their lobby bathroom. The men's urinal used to just be a waterfall coming out of the wall, I remember thinking it was so cool as a kid! If you have a chance to visit I would definitely go check it out! It's also near a really nice Danish style town called Solvang a few hours away from Santa Barbara, CA.
It's a crazy place! Google it and enjoy the insanity!
Load More Replies...
That I am obsessed with Jurassic Park. Book and movie. I wish my whole apartment was Jurassic park.
There is nothing wrong with that. I thought I was the only one until I found groups on social media. Some people have more stuff than I do.
I'm Canadian, and in high school, I had a crush on this girl who was originally born in the US. To try and impress her, I pretended I was an American who immigrated to Canada too. I was so committed that I even gave her the address of my old home: it was really just a hotel I had stayed in while on vacation in Florida with my family. Since it was the early 2000s, she never verified. We didn't end up dating, but to this day, I never came clean. I wonder if she still thinks I'm an American.
Every Christmas I would write a fake “Christmas newsletter” (like those letters some people send every year with updates about their life, family, etc) and send it to my parents. I made up this guy who was a huge b******d, but believable enough that my dad thought maybe he had worked with him at some point in the past.
I had a spreadsheet to keep track of his job, wife, children, grandchildren, holidays, etc. so that I could stay accurate from year to year. My parents would get so annoyed at his arrogant writing style but I was really proud of it lol! It went on for 6 or 7 years but then his twin granddaughters graduated high school and I stopped.
What was the point of OP doing this? What did they get out of it? Jollies from irritating their parents? (srs question, I don't see what's funny or entertaining about doing this to one's parents)
I can't even be bothered to write a real Christmas letter to anyone let alone make up a fake family to write to my own family
Load More Replies...The censored word is apparently blowhárd. Err, what? It's not a word I would use, and in the context I'not sure I really understand it, but I cannot for the life of me work out why it would be censored out.
I find this creative and hilarious. Just a harmless, continual prank for no reason except the joy of the author.
My person is a single mom with a 5 year old with autism whenever we hangout together and she goes to the bathroom or outside to smoke. I tell him mummy is a superhero and that she is the best i tell him all the time. When we were talking once she said that he told her she is his hero i pretended to act surprised that he said it.
I can't believe how some people can't just be honest with their loved ones tbh.
I’m the person who originally posted this on Reddit. Is this my 20 minutes of fame?
There are two user names below each post just above the up & down vote arrows. The second is the source of the photograph. If you hover over the name, your browser will likely show the hyperlink to the stock photo website where the picture originated from. This article shows a lot from Pexels, for instance.
Load More Replies...My person is a single mom with a 5 year old with autism whenever we hangout together and she goes to the bathroom or outside to smoke. I tell him mummy is a superhero and that she is the best i tell him all the time. When we were talking once she said that he told her she is his hero i pretended to act surprised that he said it.
I can't believe how some people can't just be honest with their loved ones tbh.
I’m the person who originally posted this on Reddit. Is this my 20 minutes of fame?
There are two user names below each post just above the up & down vote arrows. The second is the source of the photograph. If you hover over the name, your browser will likely show the hyperlink to the stock photo website where the picture originated from. This article shows a lot from Pexels, for instance.
Load More Replies...
