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30 Rich Folks That Tied The Knot With Their Less Fortunate Partners Reveal What Shocked Them The Most About Their Ex-Life
Even though there have been a few kinds of research stating that opposites do not attract and that people tend to fall for those with whom they share similarities, it's still a question of preferences. Some folks feel more comfortable spending their time with people that have a similar lifestyle or share a mutual interest – others find it exciting when their significant other is a complete contrast to their personality.
Either way, it's impossible to have a totally identical mindset to your partner, which is why every relationship is prone to surprises. Though, of course, sometimes being different than your lover is way more fun.
For instance, this Redditor decided to ask fellow online users who came from a more abundant background and are in a relationship with someone whose life was less fortunate to share what surprised them the most about their partner's previous life. The post received over 65K upvotes and nearly 22K worth of comments sharing an array of stories.
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My husband grew up in a family where they were comfortable but on a strict budget. Six kids and mom on disability. My family had no budget.
One day we were at the grocery store and he always insists on walking up and down every aisle. I finally lost it because he was taking so long and asked him why he did it.
“Growing up we could only spend $100 a week on groceries for all of us. I always had to put what I wanted back because we couldn’t afford it. Now I can afford whatever I want so I like to look at everything I could have.”
Took him 10 years to tell me this. I felt like a terrible person.
I grew up on a strict budget and we never went down the aisles because that is where all the expensive junk food is located. I still don't go down them because I never developed a taste for junk food (on the plus side of things) and I absolutely hate the grocery store and want to get in and out as fast as possible. I would be annoyed too.
I came from a family worth multi-millions. My wife came from a family who could barely eat and dealt with CPS at times.
We fell in love in high school. We've been married for 12 years and love each other more each day.
About 5 years into our relationship, I realized how weak I was in comparison to her strength. And realized that much of what I had growing up, while providing a net of safety, produced feelings and issues of anxiety. On the contrary, when we faced adversity in our earlier years, my wife was a solid rock. I don't mean this to sound insensitive but at times, I am envious of what she experienced growing up as because it has made her an amazing human being full of strength and peace. Nothing phases her.
I was told by people outside of my immediate family (friends and others) how there would be challenges with our demographics being so vastly different. The only challenge I've found is on her end having to deal with someone who had so much given to them growing up out of good intentions from their parents and her being so gracious and strong in helping me overcome my weaknesses.
My wife grew up poor in Appalachia in a big extended. What surprised me was how freely they share money with each other. They'll just loan each other a few hundred casually, with no real expectation of repayment. Car repair, water heater fails, need a new roof, boom here's some cash. That's unheard of in my wealthy family.
My wife was born and raised in the Soviet Union. She still goes crazy for fresh fruit like its the most extravagant luxury.
I visited Ukraine less than a year after the dissolution of the Soviet Union, and the food shops in the cities had almost bare shelves. There were a few chickens and some bread, and almost nothing else. In the countryside they were still using horse and buggies to transport things (in -92)
I'm not rich at all but my husband came from a very poor Mexican village. He told me he used to shower outside (because there was no in-house plumbing) and use leaves as toilet paper. I mean, there's poor, and there's my husband's-previous-life poor.
He's been living in the US for 12 years now but when we first met it was so interesting seeing life through his child-like eyes. Going to the cinema was a huge event for him. Heating food up in a microwave was a totally foreign concept. And staying at fancy hotels when we went on vacation was like WOAH. I still see him surprised by things now and then and it just reminds me how much I take my middle status class for granted.
Food for thought, an annual salary of about $35K will put you in the top 1% of the world earners. *Edit*: This seems to be false, see AbiP's rationale below. Original source: https://www.greenbacksmagnet.com/2018/02/25/top-1-percent-income-worldwide/ ...However, a net worth of just $93K is enough for the top 10%. https://financebuzz.com/us-net-worth-statistics
When the family had people over for dinner, if they ended the prayer before the meal with "F. H. B., Amen." it was a signal to let the children know that they don't have enough food for everyone, so take smaller servings and let the guests get a regular serving.
FHB = "Family, hold back."
They were always generous to their friends and didn't let their lack of funds embarrass themselves when doing so.
I don't think I would ever, ever ask my kids to eat less so that I could entertain guests.
We taught guests first, because hospitality is very important in our culture.
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I just can't get my head around giving your children's food to your friends are to save embarrassment. Crazy.
If I would be the guest and did not know and would anytime get to know I would feel sooooo bad. :-( I would hate them for that. I would never ever want to eat a childs food away.
This is quite common in poor rural households. You have no money to hire help or support the church so you do it in food or labor. You pay the neighbor's kids who helped you bale hay or detassle corn with a big lunch. The local pastor makes $3000 a year but they get invited to the house for dinner and sent home with a plate for lunch tomorrow. If you invite guests to your house, you feed them because this is part of the social contract showing you appreciate them and want to support them. Neither of us can afford to take our kids to the movies or buy a good steak but I can give you and your spouse the chicken breasts from the roaster we killed just for this meal and all of the early peas from the garden That's the biggest gift I can afford to celebrate your birthday. That means mom and dad each get a thigh, the guest kids get a drumstick each and you get a wing. Its early peas so there isn't enough for everyone so we all (including the guests) take no thank you portions.
Kids and I live under poverty level and food is always in our home. Fresh home made, fruits, fresh veggies. I don't care who came for dinner if I didn't have enough food, then they wouldn't be staying for dinner.
Amen. All I was saying is I always put the kiddos 1st. Of course they have to watch what they take cause their eyes are sometimes bigger than their tummy. But if your at my home your gonna eat no matter what I gotta do. Lol.
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This is heart warming. I live in a very well payed area in a huge house but i just wanna be here for people that really need it
I don't want to sound heartless but this is not heart warming at all. It's a terrible indictment about the shitty world we live in where people would rather give what little food they have to other people rather than their own children. I'm sure it really heart warming to hear your kids cry themselves to sleep with hunger. You have obviously never experienced real hunger or need so stop embarrassing yourself by saying poverty is in any way heart warming. You crass idiot.
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Cultures like this usually go way back and come from times when people traveled long distances. Someone you haven't seen for years comes to visit, so you put on a feast because you are happy to see them, and they were most likely very hungry and tired. And that passes on to generations, even if times change. Just... think for a moment before you go all judgy.
This is so sad. What some people do to secure anothers brief joy amazes me.
Like i said.... kids 1st. Then everyone else there. Hell I've mistaken my own amounts but the kids didn't go with out. Me and my husband and our friend ate sandwiches happily because we new the kiddos where fed.
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We also had Family Hold Back. It was never a big deal, and our unexpected guests felt welcome.
Why not tell them before the guests got there instead of risking them asking what FHB means.
FHB is really well known, my mum grew up during and at the end of WWII and heard it often.
Single dad raising two daughters. Random people (their friends or even neighbor kids) would show at dinner time. And I can cook. Wasn't always much...but it was good. And everyone ate. Get remarried and new (current 13 years now) wife stresses when random showed. "We don't have enough. We cant... Why....." And I would always say, "They are here at dinner time, they eat. And I am offended if they don't " Soon enough, she learned the joys of......feeding people. Never gets old
Yeah, don't understand this. My family was military with 5 kids. My older siblings remember traveling and my parents only getting a drink so their kids could eat.
I believe it was Herschel Bernardi who told the story of growing up in a largish family with limited means. Poorer relatives used to "drop by" just in time for the large family dinner on Friday evening. Mama would take the boys aside, and caution them, "When the chicken comes around, say you're not hungry, and we'll have enough for everyone." They did so, anticipating eating the cake they had seen her bake for dessert. When it came time for dessert, Mama wagged her finger at her "misbehaving" boys, and told them, "Those who didn't eat supper don't get dessert!" He encapsulated the stories of many immigrant families of that generation.
I'm from England and my Nan always used FHB. We weren't a well-off family, neither were we desperately poor, but it was polite to let guests have the best pick of everything before the family dived in. It was about hospitality, providing the best of what you had for your neighbours, who would do the same for you. No matter how little you have, you have something to share and there's pride in that. Contrary to the snap judgements being made here, the kids NEVER went hungry. There is no cultural monopoly on loving and wanting to provide for your kids. The children probably ate as much as the adults (who knew the rules) and took less so that there was enough to go round. Don't forget... this was a very occaisional happening, not an everyday occurrence.
The cultural differences expressed here are fascinating. There is no right or wrong...just different belief systems. Each has value but in different aspects.
I don´t know this concept at all but two thoughts came to my mind: first, to me it seems important to know, what age the children were and how was the situation with food in general? I mean, how bad was it? I think it would make a difference if they were near starving on a regular basis and / or the children were so young that you could not properly explain it to them and as not having experienced so much wealth myself I can totally relate to the subject of dignity - and I don´t mean in the first place the parents´ dignity ... that´s why I wondered about the age of the children assuming the children weren´t kind of undernourished, being able to keep their dignity could have provided more benefit than a full meal. All depends on the circumstances and the personality of the children. And surely these parents wouldn´t have done this for some random person
I don't know about that "embarrasment" part--kind of undermines the post. It is a beautiful lesson to teach, and to learn, about putting others before ourselves, no matter how hungry we might be. If children don't participate in it, they don't learn it. Going hungry for a meal or two isn't the same as starving, and most kids who learn lessons of sacrifice grow up to be generous adults.
I'm the kid in this scenario and frankly this is horrible parenting. You are basically saying looking good in front of people, is more important than your children's well-being. They maybe kids, but they know what's what and that feeling isn't nice.
Telling your kids to eat less because you have guests to feed seems very hypocritical to me.
Making financial decisions based around the three paycheck month.
If you're paid every two weeks, most months you get two paychecks, and all of your monthly bills and budgeting is based on those two paychecks. But twice a year there are three paydays in a month, and that's when you can actually solve problems. That's when you can get the car registered, or fix the dryer, or get the cat spayed.
The other 10 months you're doing maintenance and trying to scrape by. Three paycheck months you can actually try to fix problems.
This is super embarrassing and will probably make you all hate me if it even gets any attention but:
I come from a family just a bit higher than the top 1%. I was walking out of my ex's garage and I saw a lawn mower. I asked her why they owned their own lawn mower if they weren't in the landscaping business.
That was the day I learned most people don't hire other people to mow their lawn.
I was 20
I am not rich by any measure. Ex was not really that poor. After we married I found out until she was 23 and married to me she had never bathed in more than 2 inches of water. I filled the tub and bathed her myself. She cried.
Honestly, food insecurity. When we were first married she would get visibly uneasy if the food in the house was running low. She never overate or anything, she was just always concerned about it. A lot of times when she was younger, she went hungry.
On the humorous side though, she hates camping. Her answer is always the same: I camped because it was fun, she camped because they couldn't afford hotels.
Uh, i get really uneasy when the fridge reaches a specific point. Yes i grow up poor, but never realized the impact to this day. My wife on the other hand could easy life with a empty fridge i guess. Would drive me insane, so i do the most of shopping to prevent that. :D
My SO said "Today I made rent" meaning "today I've earned enough/accumulated enough to pay the rent" and I realized that this is a monthly accomplishment to someone with no fixed income/salary.
My wife genuinely thought, and her family still does, that there is a direct relationship between someone's net worth and the labels they purchase. If someone doesn't have a Gucci bag or a Rolex watch, why, it's because they can't afford it! My wife was astonished when I first told her that people exist that are ultra wealthy and yet drive old cars and wear clothes without labels.
Answering as a poor person whose partner’s family is rich. I about fell outta my chair the first time we went out to eat, and he ordered an appetizer in addition to his entree. That’s when I knew.
I grew up in a rich family and married someone who grew up dirt poor. I guess what really took me a long time to get used to was genuine empathy. Actually empathizing with emotion instead of etiquette, making moral decisions in the moment based on how it might actually make the other person feel. My family is a bunch of stoics. They act based on set rules and think that emotion is stupid and should be ignored entirely.
It's a celebration when a hot dog bun is used for your hot dog instead of a slice of bread.
We live in the southeast, my husband grew up wealthy. He grew up skiing and they always went to Colorado to ski. We go on a big family ski trip with his parents about every other year. He didn’t realize for a while why people thought he grew up rich, one day I asked him “Do you tell them you go skiing?” He knew skiing is expensive, but it never clicked for him that going skiing on a regular basis from a region where you have to fly out is a huge wealth marker.
Up until her mom passed away, my SIL's entire family went to Disney World every single year. Her parents, my SIL and her two siblings, all their spouses and kids. Dad paid for everything. Having this kind of disposable income is totally alien to me (and if I had it, I certainly wouldn't bother with Disney when there are so many other amazing places to go).
Both came from poor backgrounds. Hubby now earns 6 figures. I still buy my clothes from a charity shop because I cannot ever fathom why you’d spend £400 on shoes and bags “for a season”. You can buy designer clothes in a charity shop if you know what you’re looking for.
I think M&S and Waitrose are just overpriced when you can get a trolley FULL of fresh food and eat like kings at Aldi for £100. I don’t do takeaway food.
Funny story though, when we first got together I was making a spaghetti dinner and grabbed a bottle of red wine off his shelf to add to the sauce. I didn’t know what £45 bottle of wine was, and still think it tasted pretty ordinary. And I drink a LOT of wine.
I used to be poor, now I earn six figures. You bet your ass I shop at thrift stores, and go to the dollar store before I go to Target, just in case I can get something I need for a pittance! The thing about going from poor to prosperous, is that you can never forget how easy it is to become poor again.
She and her mother lived with her grandfather to not be homeless because her grandfather owned a house.
She was putting community college payments on her credit card and building debt with it.
I paid off her credit cards when we were dating and she cried from me being so nice (it was only like 1,300 bucks). I bought a condo, then we got married, then we bought a house. I never really considered myself rich until i started dating her and learned that a trip to Wendy's was a treat. I grew up middle class, and we are currently middle class, heh.
Sandwiches. When I made him a sandwich I only put one thin slice of meat in it. He couldn't believe that was how I had sandwiches growing up.
She wouldn't waste any food, ever. We went through a few rounds of her getting sick from eating month-old muffins and similar before I convinced her it was OK to toss old food and go shopping.
While you certainly shouldn't eat food that has gone bad, you should also keep food waste to a minimum. Also, compost if you have the room.
The prevailing mindset in his community growing up that insurance was something only rich people had. Not health insurance, mind you (well, not just health insurance). Auto insurance. Going without it was a way of life for most everyone he knew.
It's... illegal not to have insurance. Maybe depend on your country though, but it's a global thing
Eating leftovers.
Not using A/C.
Shopping around an abnormal amount to save a marginal amount of money on something.
Coupons.
Looking at gas prices.
Driving across town to save a buck.
Not knowing the value of Time over Money
Hamburger Helper. She hates it because it would be her meal 5x a week growing up.
I had never even seen HH before I went to college and love that stuff. 10 for $10 deals are awesome.
Not rich but with a partner who was raised by a teen mom and grew up poor. Sometimes I just want rice and vegetables for dinner. That's a no from her. She won't go back.
Not married, but dating (I’m in college for reference). I’m the daughter of a multi-millionaire, and I never knew just how many things were easily doable by hand. He did an oil change for me the other day, and I feel kinda cheated that I used to pay so much for it.
im not married, but my girlfriend of 4 years doesn't have alot of the childhood experiences and skills I took for granted that most people had. Like never learning how to ride a bike, how to swim, never having gone camping or seen snow (we live only a few hours away from seasonal snow)
We had students who had never gone 10 miles out of town. My mom would take them out to lunch in a larger town about 25 miles away. Some cried, some were just in awe. We lived in a small town with just a caution light.
He doesn't remember any of his teachers names because he never stayed in one place more than a few months.
When we moved in together, I found out that she was putting her share of the rent on her credit card, with no real plan for how to pay it off.
Long term dating. Pets. I was always surprised by the number of pets she and her family had living in the trailer and how much of a share of their income they spent on them.
If they were spending income on them at least that meant they were caring for them
Lice -- I had never experienced them (our kids got them from the inlaws)
I didn't know about Section 8.
I'd never heard of the Earned Income Credit (e.g. you get more back in taxes than you paid).
You go to the E.R. because you don't have insurance.
I've never heard of a school that hasn't had lice. I think money folks just keep it q secret because the stigma with it
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I grew up low middle class (enlisted military), but my husband grew up very poor. He was on his own and homeless by 14. He worked and went to school then joined the military. He never liked red meat because he hadn't tasted it until he was about 10. He won't eat minute rice either. We budget our money, but he goes out of his way to spoil the people that he loves. I have to tell him that I don't need anything because he constantly wants to give me things. He always overtips, gives to homeless/ charities, because at one time people gave to him.
You remind me of something I experienced often: My family never had much money and really struggled from time to time, but if there was a friend or family member struggling even more to an existential point, then they'd try to give a little bit (and if it was only a meal or clothes). Later in life I re-experienced it with friends and with my in laws. Sometimes it was only about 5 or 10 Euros to make a difference. And this is what we did and what others did for us. On the other hand side, some old friends of my husband who were not wealthy or something but never experienced struggling to pay for food or the like, never even thought about doing that. I don't know if it's because the amount or gesture is like nothing to them or because they simply didn't bother...
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Growing up me and my sister were well taken care of, but we were also pretty poor so my mom had to bend over backwards to make ends meet every moth. Often she would go and take bikerides by herself in the evenings for about an hour just to clear her head of all the worrying about money (I later learned this - my dad generated the income but my mom took care of finances). She taught me to save, always save money. I now have a pretty good financial buffer and a decent paying job, but every time I spend a sum of money on something for myself I feel awkward and decadent about it for weeks.
I've experienced some reasonable extremes of poverty and wealth. I'm nowhere near the richest I've been, but I'm comfortable enough now. But I have lived among people who truly had nothing and people who had everything, and I would choose the poorest of the poor every time as human beings (even though I wish they weren't so poor for their sake).
Same here. Altho I have known 1 or 2 wealthy people who were very decent humans - they didn't live high on the hog, and they contributed a lot to those who had less, both in money & in actual work on the streets.
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Does anyone else experience others putting them down for not being a materialistic person, or just being ok with existing and having what you need? I'm asking because lately I've noticed some of my close family telling me because I'm not into money and only desire to have no more than I need. They are saying I'm lazy and have no goals or ambition. Does anyone else experience this when it comes to financial situations?
Not sure if this is the same. I grew up poor so my only dream was getting out. I did, when I was fifteen ... and then I was lost. That was my only goal. I didn't realize I needed ambition too. Years later a "friend" asked if I'd been hunting, fishing, skiing, camping, surfing, etc. I said no. He said I was lucky to have no interests because then it was easy for me to save. All I heard was the insult, "You grew up so poor you never learned how to have fun."
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4 summers ago, my friends and I went to california and grand canyon for a road trip. Before we went to the grand canyon, we stopped in san diego for 5 days to stay with a friend. We made friends with someone and brought him with us to another friend's house who had a pool, open buffet, really nice place. We ate so much, swam, etc. Spent the whole day there. I thought wow it would be so nice to have a place like this and then our new friend said it would be nice to have any kind of place and that he's homeless. We were shocked. He didn't look homeless (no offense). I asked where he's living. He said in his car. He parked it two streets down so we wouldn't see it. He was trying to find work at the time. He used to work in a restaurant. I've had him on fb since. His recent post showed a picture of him and a gf with their new baby born.
My husband is, after 30 years, still surprised by the "culture clash" we have b/c he was raised very well-off and I was definitely not.
I grew up as upper middle class, though in my small hometown we were definitely considered well off. It wasn't till I moved away and into an apartment that I realized how out of touch I was. I didn't know how to do anything, I had no idea how to be an adult. He was easing by without struggle. I had my own big bedroom growing up, had food at my beck and call, my own bathroom and always took for granted that my electricity and water were running, I didn't know NOT having those was an option. He grew up the oldest of four siblings, a three bedroom house with only one bathroom, his dad made many questionable choices with the family money that often lead to electricity cut off, food rationing, ect. My husband now has a great paying job and we still have more money than his parents, while his youngest brother took over mortgage payments to make sure his mother has a roof over her head. Again, these are things I took for granted, I didn't know it could be taken away.
my ex was born in Germany in 1943. His hometown then became part of East Germany and for the next 7 years, most people there struggled with food shortages. Fast forward 40 years: the man is now a university professor but every time he goes to a restaurant, he piles tons of food on his plate, no matter how often he is told he can go back for seconds. Just can't beat the habit.
When my ex told me he grew up in a house with only one bathroom. My house had more bathrooms than people.
Huh. Most people I know have a home with 1 bathroom, that's standard even for middle calss homes. 2 bathrooms is exceptional. Must be a regional thing....
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There have been a few differences between my fiance and me. 1. His family didn't meal plan for the week and usually didn't figure it out till close to dinner time. As such it's hard to get him involved in the meal planning now that he lives with me and my family. 2. When we go down to see his parents if it's not the heat of summer the a/c unit in his room wont be turned on at all. I had to beg last time because it was a much warmer late fall than usual and i was having trouble sleeping because i would get too hot. 3. If his account hits $50, he wont doing anything else even if im way lower in money. We're learning each day how to understand each other. I'm also attempting to teach him some basic cooking so that i dont have to all the time. It's a slow process but it has helped.
Driving through the barrio my husband asks “what’s with all these people walking?” I asked if he’d ever lived in a poor neighborhood and he said he hadn’t. I had to explain to him that not everyone has a car.
I think the ski thing is the most revealing marker, even if a rich family don't show off their money in everyone's face. When my best friend told me that she'd been skiing only once, thanks to her school, while I'd been skiing a few times with my family already, that's when I realized that despite my family's habits and whatever my mom will tell you, we were actually rich.
I was floored the 1st time I went into rich (ex) GF’s house and saw the house I grew up in would easily fit into the ‘great room’. I was just as floored when she was rude to waitstaff and checkout people. I don’t miss her.
Really interesting to read this because it shows just how radically poor most people in africa are. The "poor" that is described in this article is what we'd consider "lower class", meaning not destitute and living in a shack, but poor enough to not be welcome at the elites' dinner tables. The people here that we consider poor are as you see on TV - shacks, no jobs, no bank accounts, no convenient car to sleep in, no possessions apart from some tatty clothes and maybe a TV or portable gas stove (cooker). It's really shocking. Basically what you'd call "homeless". poor-white...757186.jpg 
I owned an apartment. AC, vacations, nice meals, nice furniture etc. Now I live in a single room, with the wife and 3 children. Low income, not-enough-furniture or other luxuries. Why ? Just because of a toxic wife. She just interfere in each and everything in my life, knowing that she has no experience and education at all. I still live with her.
You’re poor because you blame others for your stupid decision making processes.
Load More Replies... I grew up low middle class (enlisted military), but my husband grew up very poor. He was on his own and homeless by 14. He worked and went to school then joined the military. He never liked red meat because he hadn't tasted it until he was about 10. He won't eat minute rice either. We budget our money, but he goes out of his way to spoil the people that he loves. I have to tell him that I don't need anything because he constantly wants to give me things. He always overtips, gives to homeless/ charities, because at one time people gave to him.
You remind me of something I experienced often: My family never had much money and really struggled from time to time, but if there was a friend or family member struggling even more to an existential point, then they'd try to give a little bit (and if it was only a meal or clothes). Later in life I re-experienced it with friends and with my in laws. Sometimes it was only about 5 or 10 Euros to make a difference. And this is what we did and what others did for us. On the other hand side, some old friends of my husband who were not wealthy or something but never experienced struggling to pay for food or the like, never even thought about doing that. I don't know if it's because the amount or gesture is like nothing to them or because they simply didn't bother...
Load More Replies... Growing up me and my sister were well taken care of, but we were also pretty poor so my mom had to bend over backwards to make ends meet every moth. Often she would go and take bikerides by herself in the evenings for about an hour just to clear her head of all the worrying about money (I later learned this - my dad generated the income but my mom took care of finances). She taught me to save, always save money. I now have a pretty good financial buffer and a decent paying job, but every time I spend a sum of money on something for myself I feel awkward and decadent about it for weeks.
I've experienced some reasonable extremes of poverty and wealth. I'm nowhere near the richest I've been, but I'm comfortable enough now. But I have lived among people who truly had nothing and people who had everything, and I would choose the poorest of the poor every time as human beings (even though I wish they weren't so poor for their sake).
Same here. Altho I have known 1 or 2 wealthy people who were very decent humans - they didn't live high on the hog, and they contributed a lot to those who had less, both in money & in actual work on the streets.
Load More Replies... Does anyone else experience others putting them down for not being a materialistic person, or just being ok with existing and having what you need? I'm asking because lately I've noticed some of my close family telling me because I'm not into money and only desire to have no more than I need. They are saying I'm lazy and have no goals or ambition. Does anyone else experience this when it comes to financial situations?
Not sure if this is the same. I grew up poor so my only dream was getting out. I did, when I was fifteen ... and then I was lost. That was my only goal. I didn't realize I needed ambition too. Years later a "friend" asked if I'd been hunting, fishing, skiing, camping, surfing, etc. I said no. He said I was lucky to have no interests because then it was easy for me to save. All I heard was the insult, "You grew up so poor you never learned how to have fun."
Load More Replies... 4 summers ago, my friends and I went to california and grand canyon for a road trip. Before we went to the grand canyon, we stopped in san diego for 5 days to stay with a friend. We made friends with someone and brought him with us to another friend's house who had a pool, open buffet, really nice place. We ate so much, swam, etc. Spent the whole day there. I thought wow it would be so nice to have a place like this and then our new friend said it would be nice to have any kind of place and that he's homeless. We were shocked. He didn't look homeless (no offense). I asked where he's living. He said in his car. He parked it two streets down so we wouldn't see it. He was trying to find work at the time. He used to work in a restaurant. I've had him on fb since. His recent post showed a picture of him and a gf with their new baby born.
My husband is, after 30 years, still surprised by the "culture clash" we have b/c he was raised very well-off and I was definitely not.
I grew up as upper middle class, though in my small hometown we were definitely considered well off. It wasn't till I moved away and into an apartment that I realized how out of touch I was. I didn't know how to do anything, I had no idea how to be an adult. He was easing by without struggle. I had my own big bedroom growing up, had food at my beck and call, my own bathroom and always took for granted that my electricity and water were running, I didn't know NOT having those was an option. He grew up the oldest of four siblings, a three bedroom house with only one bathroom, his dad made many questionable choices with the family money that often lead to electricity cut off, food rationing, ect. My husband now has a great paying job and we still have more money than his parents, while his youngest brother took over mortgage payments to make sure his mother has a roof over her head. Again, these are things I took for granted, I didn't know it could be taken away.
my ex was born in Germany in 1943. His hometown then became part of East Germany and for the next 7 years, most people there struggled with food shortages. Fast forward 40 years: the man is now a university professor but every time he goes to a restaurant, he piles tons of food on his plate, no matter how often he is told he can go back for seconds. Just can't beat the habit.
When my ex told me he grew up in a house with only one bathroom. My house had more bathrooms than people.
Huh. Most people I know have a home with 1 bathroom, that's standard even for middle calss homes. 2 bathrooms is exceptional. Must be a regional thing....
Load More Replies... There have been a few differences between my fiance and me. 1. His family didn't meal plan for the week and usually didn't figure it out till close to dinner time. As such it's hard to get him involved in the meal planning now that he lives with me and my family. 2. When we go down to see his parents if it's not the heat of summer the a/c unit in his room wont be turned on at all. I had to beg last time because it was a much warmer late fall than usual and i was having trouble sleeping because i would get too hot. 3. If his account hits $50, he wont doing anything else even if im way lower in money. We're learning each day how to understand each other. I'm also attempting to teach him some basic cooking so that i dont have to all the time. It's a slow process but it has helped.
Driving through the barrio my husband asks “what’s with all these people walking?” I asked if he’d ever lived in a poor neighborhood and he said he hadn’t. I had to explain to him that not everyone has a car.
I think the ski thing is the most revealing marker, even if a rich family don't show off their money in everyone's face. When my best friend told me that she'd been skiing only once, thanks to her school, while I'd been skiing a few times with my family already, that's when I realized that despite my family's habits and whatever my mom will tell you, we were actually rich.
I was floored the 1st time I went into rich (ex) GF’s house and saw the house I grew up in would easily fit into the ‘great room’. I was just as floored when she was rude to waitstaff and checkout people. I don’t miss her.
Really interesting to read this because it shows just how radically poor most people in africa are. The "poor" that is described in this article is what we'd consider "lower class", meaning not destitute and living in a shack, but poor enough to not be welcome at the elites' dinner tables. The people here that we consider poor are as you see on TV - shacks, no jobs, no bank accounts, no convenient car to sleep in, no possessions apart from some tatty clothes and maybe a TV or portable gas stove (cooker). It's really shocking. Basically what you'd call "homeless". poor-white...757186.jpg
I owned an apartment. AC, vacations, nice meals, nice furniture etc. Now I live in a single room, with the wife and 3 children. Low income, not-enough-furniture or other luxuries. Why ? Just because of a toxic wife. She just interfere in each and everything in my life, knowing that she has no experience and education at all. I still live with her.
You’re poor because you blame others for your stupid decision making processes.
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