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30 Rich Folks That Tied The Knot With Their Less Fortunate Partners Reveal What Shocked Them The Most About Their Ex-Life
Even though there have been a few kinds of research stating that opposites do not attract and that people tend to fall for those with whom they share similarities, it's still a question of preferences. Some folks feel more comfortable spending their time with people that have a similar lifestyle or share a mutual interest – others find it exciting when their significant other is a complete contrast to their personality.
Either way, it's impossible to have a totally identical mindset to your partner, which is why every relationship is prone to surprises. Though, of course, sometimes being different than your lover is way more fun.
For instance, this Redditor decided to ask fellow online users who came from a more abundant background and are in a relationship with someone whose life was less fortunate to share what surprised them the most about their partner's previous life. The post received over 65K upvotes and nearly 22K worth of comments sharing an array of stories.
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My husband grew up in a family where they were comfortable but on a strict budget. Six kids and mom on disability. My family had no budget.
One day we were at the grocery store and he always insists on walking up and down every aisle. I finally lost it because he was taking so long and asked him why he did it.
“Growing up we could only spend $100 a week on groceries for all of us. I always had to put what I wanted back because we couldn’t afford it. Now I can afford whatever I want so I like to look at everything I could have.”
Took him 10 years to tell me this. I felt like a terrible person.
I grew up on a strict budget and we never went down the aisles because that is where all the expensive junk food is located. I still don't go down them because I never developed a taste for junk food (on the plus side of things) and I absolutely hate the grocery store and want to get in and out as fast as possible. I would be annoyed too.
I came from a family worth multi-millions. My wife came from a family who could barely eat and dealt with CPS at times.
We fell in love in high school. We've been married for 12 years and love each other more each day.
About 5 years into our relationship, I realized how weak I was in comparison to her strength. And realized that much of what I had growing up, while providing a net of safety, produced feelings and issues of anxiety. On the contrary, when we faced adversity in our earlier years, my wife was a solid rock. I don't mean this to sound insensitive but at times, I am envious of what she experienced growing up as because it has made her an amazing human being full of strength and peace. Nothing phases her.
I was told by people outside of my immediate family (friends and others) how there would be challenges with our demographics being so vastly different. The only challenge I've found is on her end having to deal with someone who had so much given to them growing up out of good intentions from their parents and her being so gracious and strong in helping me overcome my weaknesses.
My wife grew up poor in Appalachia in a big extended. What surprised me was how freely they share money with each other. They'll just loan each other a few hundred casually, with no real expectation of repayment. Car repair, water heater fails, need a new roof, boom here's some cash. That's unheard of in my wealthy family.
My wife was born and raised in the Soviet Union. She still goes crazy for fresh fruit like its the most extravagant luxury.
I visited Ukraine less than a year after the dissolution of the Soviet Union, and the food shops in the cities had almost bare shelves. There were a few chickens and some bread, and almost nothing else. In the countryside they were still using horse and buggies to transport things (in -92)
I'm not rich at all but my husband came from a very poor Mexican village. He told me he used to shower outside (because there was no in-house plumbing) and use leaves as toilet paper. I mean, there's poor, and there's my husband's-previous-life poor.
He's been living in the US for 12 years now but when we first met it was so interesting seeing life through his child-like eyes. Going to the cinema was a huge event for him. Heating food up in a microwave was a totally foreign concept. And staying at fancy hotels when we went on vacation was like WOAH. I still see him surprised by things now and then and it just reminds me how much I take my middle status class for granted.
Food for thought, an annual salary of about $35K will put you in the top 1% of the world earners. *Edit*: This seems to be false, see AbiP's rationale below. Original source: https://www.greenbacksmagnet.com/2018/02/25/top-1-percent-income-worldwide/ ...However, a net worth of just $93K is enough for the top 10%. https://financebuzz.com/us-net-worth-statistics
When the family had people over for dinner, if they ended the prayer before the meal with "F. H. B., Amen." it was a signal to let the children know that they don't have enough food for everyone, so take smaller servings and let the guests get a regular serving.
FHB = "Family, hold back."
They were always generous to their friends and didn't let their lack of funds embarrass themselves when doing so.
Making financial decisions based around the three paycheck month.
If you're paid every two weeks, most months you get two paychecks, and all of your monthly bills and budgeting is based on those two paychecks. But twice a year there are three paydays in a month, and that's when you can actually solve problems. That's when you can get the car registered, or fix the dryer, or get the cat spayed.
The other 10 months you're doing maintenance and trying to scrape by. Three paycheck months you can actually try to fix problems.
This is super embarrassing and will probably make you all hate me if it even gets any attention but:
I come from a family just a bit higher than the top 1%. I was walking out of my ex's garage and I saw a lawn mower. I asked her why they owned their own lawn mower if they weren't in the landscaping business.
That was the day I learned most people don't hire other people to mow their lawn.
I was 20
I am not rich by any measure. Ex was not really that poor. After we married I found out until she was 23 and married to me she had never bathed in more than 2 inches of water. I filled the tub and bathed her myself. She cried.
Honestly, food insecurity. When we were first married she would get visibly uneasy if the food in the house was running low. She never overate or anything, she was just always concerned about it. A lot of times when she was younger, she went hungry.
On the humorous side though, she hates camping. Her answer is always the same: I camped because it was fun, she camped because they couldn't afford hotels.
Uh, i get really uneasy when the fridge reaches a specific point. Yes i grow up poor, but never realized the impact to this day. My wife on the other hand could easy life with a empty fridge i guess. Would drive me insane, so i do the most of shopping to prevent that. :D
My SO said "Today I made rent" meaning "today I've earned enough/accumulated enough to pay the rent" and I realized that this is a monthly accomplishment to someone with no fixed income/salary.
My wife genuinely thought, and her family still does, that there is a direct relationship between someone's net worth and the labels they purchase. If someone doesn't have a Gucci bag or a Rolex watch, why, it's because they can't afford it! My wife was astonished when I first told her that people exist that are ultra wealthy and yet drive old cars and wear clothes without labels.
Answering as a poor person whose partner’s family is rich. I about fell outta my chair the first time we went out to eat, and he ordered an appetizer in addition to his entree. That’s when I knew.
I grew up in a rich family and married someone who grew up dirt poor. I guess what really took me a long time to get used to was genuine empathy. Actually empathizing with emotion instead of etiquette, making moral decisions in the moment based on how it might actually make the other person feel. My family is a bunch of stoics. They act based on set rules and think that emotion is stupid and should be ignored entirely.
It's a celebration when a hot dog bun is used for your hot dog instead of a slice of bread.
We live in the southeast, my husband grew up wealthy. He grew up skiing and they always went to Colorado to ski. We go on a big family ski trip with his parents about every other year. He didn’t realize for a while why people thought he grew up rich, one day I asked him “Do you tell them you go skiing?” He knew skiing is expensive, but it never clicked for him that going skiing on a regular basis from a region where you have to fly out is a huge wealth marker.
Up until her mom passed away, my SIL's entire family went to Disney World every single year. Her parents, my SIL and her two siblings, all their spouses and kids. Dad paid for everything. Having this kind of disposable income is totally alien to me (and if I had it, I certainly wouldn't bother with Disney when there are so many other amazing places to go).
Both came from poor backgrounds. Hubby now earns 6 figures. I still buy my clothes from a charity shop because I cannot ever fathom why you’d spend £400 on shoes and bags “for a season”. You can buy designer clothes in a charity shop if you know what you’re looking for.
I think M&S and Waitrose are just overpriced when you can get a trolley FULL of fresh food and eat like kings at Aldi for £100. I don’t do takeaway food.
Funny story though, when we first got together I was making a spaghetti dinner and grabbed a bottle of red wine off his shelf to add to the sauce. I didn’t know what £45 bottle of wine was, and still think it tasted pretty ordinary. And I drink a LOT of wine.
I used to be poor, now I earn six figures. You bet your ass I shop at thrift stores, and go to the dollar store before I go to Target, just in case I can get something I need for a pittance! The thing about going from poor to prosperous, is that you can never forget how easy it is to become poor again.
This. I am always grateful to have a home and food on the table. I know that one mishap in life can change it.
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I think people who start rich and people who become rich have very different attitudes about what they do with the money.
Many people who were poor have PTSD from the poverty. It sticks with you.
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Thrift shops are the best! I'd rather save up extra income for something I really need than spend it on cheap clothes produced through child labor. At least if I thrift, I'm reusing something that would otherwise be thrown away.
Aldi is great value indeed, shop there regularly. All the major supermarkets now announce they have Aldi price match in the store. My only observation is not to over buy on fruit & veg as I've seen it turn for the worse in a period of time you would still expect it to be ok. Waitrose essentials are better than some of the other supermarkets finest range and still good value.
My mum checked an ethical shop guide and in Australia Alidi got an A rating and the other main supermarkets got a C-. I have never shopped there, as I don't agree with buying imported foods if there are local ones due to food miles and supporting locals. I might have to change my mind given this rating. I do know they sell exclusively local fruit and veg which is good.
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Where I live we have people who go around on the one day a week garbage is collected, and go through the bags for anything of value or can be recycled for money. I have a special bag where I put clothes, recyclables and anything which they can use or eat so they don't have to do that here. It is in a blue bag, as opposed to the black for the stuff which is rubbish. I went through a period as a child where I went through rubbish and I will not let anyone go through mine.
I have about 200 bottles of wine in my basement and not a single one of them cost more than $20. You can get great wine for 10-12 dollars and the hundred+ bottles don't taste any better. Even wine experts agree on this.
About 15 years ago I decided to educate myself about fine wines, so I spent several thousand dollars over the course of 2-3 years on many different wines, from around the world, as well as on wine ratings subscriptions and books. What I got for it was 3 or 4 very memorable out-of-this-world tasting experiences and a lot of very expensive disappointments. Wine flavor profiles and descriptions are poetic quackery. I know a few good wineries and buy from those occasionally, but for everyday pop-n-pour the local supermarket provides very decent stuff in that $15-19 price range.
Load More Replies... Dont worry about the wine. It has been practically proven scientifically that the price does NOT indicate improved taste or quality of wine. Aeration does affect flavor, because when wine has a chance to breathe (or put in a blender for a quick minute) it releases fumes that were created as if it was vinegar.
I intend to try Nathan Myhrvold‘s hyperdecanting technique one of these days (when my wife isn’t around).
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I am a nurse and make decent money and I love thrift stores :) best outfits ever ;)
I know exactly what this poster is talking about. My husband was high up in business and got dozens of bottles of wine every year as Christmas or birthday gifts. Needless to say, our kitchen is full of them. And the first time I opened one, hubby said "That one's about fifty euros, I think." I thought, "Can I put the cork back in and get the cash instead?" ;)
I'm not poor and actually have good investments I still shop at charity shops but I almost feel guilty that I'm buying cheap stuff that a poor person could have needed for cheap.
There will always be plenty of new stock available for people who need it
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Many 'rich' people shop at Thrift stores! I see Cadillacs, Jaguars, Mercedes and BMW's in the parking lot ALL the time!!
I grew up dirt poor, as in my parents would send me and my brother into stores with food stamps to buy 25 cent packs of gum so we could put some gas in the car…and now I tend to go the extreme opposite for my kids. They will never, ever, EVER know what it’s like to go without ANYTHING as long as I’m breathing. I have busted my ass to get from nothing to six figures solely so I could give my kids everything I never had. They’re wonderful kids, not entitled little shits, so it’s cool…but I’d never be sorry.
I would most likely not change much if I suddenly had 10x plus the income I have now, except maybe to buy better quality stuff that would last longer... like bespoke shoes that could be resoled.
Good for you! Charity shops are a more responsible purchase in terms of the environment. I wish we had those in Portugal! You can buy second hand clothes online, but everthing seems wore down (it isn't I just feel they are). I love hand-me-downs though.☺
I find waitrose the same price as aldi but the food actually lasts longer than aldi. Like the fruit and vegetables last a whole week not a day or two.
Weirdly I've found some basic, healthy staples are cheaper in Waitrose than anywhere else. Quite often the butter is, it's the cheapest place to buy olive oil in glass bottles, and it's the one reliable place I can buy frying steak (the cheapest cut of steak). I just ignore the stuff they make all their profit on.
I used to be responsible for several thrift stores run by a religious charity. We had a different take on this. Many of the people who donated the apparel or household items expected that they would be given or used by the less fortunate. For that reason, the prices were kept low/affordable to low-income households. It used to drive me nuts that antique dealers and other profiteers would purchase our items only to resell them in their own shops at significant markups. So, be aware of that when you think you're donating items to benefit those in need. Those in need will get such a small fraction of the value of the item (in other benefits) and absolutely no use out of the merchandise.
A single six figure income isn’t enough to justify $400 shoes and bags for a season. And a $45 bottle of wine is cheap wine. Not that all cheap wine tastes bad. This person is solidly middle class.
Thank you for going to the charity shops so there is even less selection for the ones who need to go there. I hope you leave the cheap stuff for the needy.
There will always be plenty of new stock available for people who need it. Why shouldn't everyone shop somewhere that is more ethical as it is reusing things rather than consuming new.
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Bro and I were looking for salt in Waitrose. (Here you get salt in large containers or plastic bags.) So we are looking and looking and can't find the salt anywhere. Finally ask an employee. Turns out the salt was in little boxes while we were looking for plastic bags! Did freak me out a bit.
Frankly I don't understand the point of making lots of money if you're not going to spend it and just hoard it all... I never got that. I can understand not just blowing your money, but the people who never get any luxuries like restaurant food or clothes that someone else hasn't stewed in when they can definitely afford it...why
My husband grew up comfortable BUT his parents were on a tight budget with no room for luxuries or spontaneity. He has worked hard to make the income he makes now and gets a little cranky when I try to budget/buy second hand/get deals and vouchers as it feels like an insult to his hard work. It’s not a big thing (and I buy second hand whenever I can, anyway because it’s more ecologically friendly), but it is a funny little quirk of his. He also gets thingy about me selling on our old things, but that’s great because it means I can just give them away.
That's weird I'm not rich but do have disposable income, no kids or alimony, I have friends who often don't make it to there pay check but are always getting take out and shoping in the corner (expensive) supermarket instead of driving 2km where they are Lidl, Aldi and a couple of other big chains with goo prices.
I could be a millionaire and would still go to value village every week lol
Nope. We're not shaming and playing gatekeeper on thrift shops, and we're certainly not telling someone who grew up poor that they can't continue the methods of frugality that they're used to. There is plenty to go around in a thrift shop. They have no shortage of necessity items--especially clothing. Stop it.
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She and her mother lived with her grandfather to not be homeless because her grandfather owned a house.
She was putting community college payments on her credit card and building debt with it.
I paid off her credit cards when we were dating and she cried from me being so nice (it was only like 1,300 bucks). I bought a condo, then we got married, then we bought a house. I never really considered myself rich until i started dating her and learned that a trip to Wendy's was a treat. I grew up middle class, and we are currently middle class, heh.
Sandwiches. When I made him a sandwich I only put one thin slice of meat in it. He couldn't believe that was how I had sandwiches growing up.
She wouldn't waste any food, ever. We went through a few rounds of her getting sick from eating month-old muffins and similar before I convinced her it was OK to toss old food and go shopping.
While you certainly shouldn't eat food that has gone bad, you should also keep food waste to a minimum. Also, compost if you have the room.
The prevailing mindset in his community growing up that insurance was something only rich people had. Not health insurance, mind you (well, not just health insurance). Auto insurance. Going without it was a way of life for most everyone he knew.
It's... illegal not to have insurance. Maybe depend on your country though, but it's a global thing
Eating leftovers.
Not using A/C.
Shopping around an abnormal amount to save a marginal amount of money on something.
Coupons.
Looking at gas prices.
Driving across town to save a buck.
Not knowing the value of Time over Money
Hamburger Helper. She hates it because it would be her meal 5x a week growing up.
I had never even seen HH before I went to college and love that stuff. 10 for $10 deals are awesome.
Not rich but with a partner who was raised by a teen mom and grew up poor. Sometimes I just want rice and vegetables for dinner. That's a no from her. She won't go back.
Not married, but dating (I’m in college for reference). I’m the daughter of a multi-millionaire, and I never knew just how many things were easily doable by hand. He did an oil change for me the other day, and I feel kinda cheated that I used to pay so much for it.
im not married, but my girlfriend of 4 years doesn't have alot of the childhood experiences and skills I took for granted that most people had. Like never learning how to ride a bike, how to swim, never having gone camping or seen snow (we live only a few hours away from seasonal snow)
We had students who had never gone 10 miles out of town. My mom would take them out to lunch in a larger town about 25 miles away. Some cried, some were just in awe. We lived in a small town with just a caution light.
He doesn't remember any of his teachers names because he never stayed in one place more than a few months.
When we moved in together, I found out that she was putting her share of the rent on her credit card, with no real plan for how to pay it off.
Long term dating. Pets. I was always surprised by the number of pets she and her family had living in the trailer and how much of a share of their income they spent on them.
If they were spending income on them at least that meant they were caring for them
Lice -- I had never experienced them (our kids got them from the inlaws)
I didn't know about Section 8.
I'd never heard of the Earned Income Credit (e.g. you get more back in taxes than you paid).
You go to the E.R. because you don't have insurance.
I've never heard of a school that hasn't had lice. I think money folks just keep it q secret because the stigma with it
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I grew up low middle class (enlisted military), but my husband grew up very poor. He was on his own and homeless by 14. He worked and went to school then joined the military. He never liked red meat because he hadn't tasted it until he was about 10. He won't eat minute rice either. We budget our money, but he goes out of his way to spoil the people that he loves. I have to tell him that I don't need anything because he constantly wants to give me things. He always overtips, gives to homeless/ charities, because at one time people gave to him.
You remind me of something I experienced often: My family never had much money and really struggled from time to time, but if there was a friend or family member struggling even more to an existential point, then they'd try to give a little bit (and if it was only a meal or clothes). Later in life I re-experienced it with friends and with my in laws. Sometimes it was only about 5 or 10 Euros to make a difference. And this is what we did and what others did for us. On the other hand side, some old friends of my husband who were not wealthy or something but never experienced struggling to pay for food or the like, never even thought about doing that. I don't know if it's because the amount or gesture is like nothing to them or because they simply didn't bother...
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Growing up me and my sister were well taken care of, but we were also pretty poor so my mom had to bend over backwards to make ends meet every moth. Often she would go and take bikerides by herself in the evenings for about an hour just to clear her head of all the worrying about money (I later learned this - my dad generated the income but my mom took care of finances). She taught me to save, always save money. I now have a pretty good financial buffer and a decent paying job, but every time I spend a sum of money on something for myself I feel awkward and decadent about it for weeks.
I've experienced some reasonable extremes of poverty and wealth. I'm nowhere near the richest I've been, but I'm comfortable enough now. But I have lived among people who truly had nothing and people who had everything, and I would choose the poorest of the poor every time as human beings (even though I wish they weren't so poor for their sake).
Same here. Altho I have known 1 or 2 wealthy people who were very decent humans - they didn't live high on the hog, and they contributed a lot to those who had less, both in money & in actual work on the streets.
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Does anyone else experience others putting them down for not being a materialistic person, or just being ok with existing and having what you need? I'm asking because lately I've noticed some of my close family telling me because I'm not into money and only desire to have no more than I need. They are saying I'm lazy and have no goals or ambition. Does anyone else experience this when it comes to financial situations?
Not sure if this is the same. I grew up poor so my only dream was getting out. I did, when I was fifteen ... and then I was lost. That was my only goal. I didn't realize I needed ambition too. Years later a "friend" asked if I'd been hunting, fishing, skiing, camping, surfing, etc. I said no. He said I was lucky to have no interests because then it was easy for me to save. All I heard was the insult, "You grew up so poor you never learned how to have fun."
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4 summers ago, my friends and I went to california and grand canyon for a road trip. Before we went to the grand canyon, we stopped in san diego for 5 days to stay with a friend. We made friends with someone and brought him with us to another friend's house who had a pool, open buffet, really nice place. We ate so much, swam, etc. Spent the whole day there. I thought wow it would be so nice to have a place like this and then our new friend said it would be nice to have any kind of place and that he's homeless. We were shocked. He didn't look homeless (no offense). I asked where he's living. He said in his car. He parked it two streets down so we wouldn't see it. He was trying to find work at the time. He used to work in a restaurant. I've had him on fb since. His recent post showed a picture of him and a gf with their new baby born.
My husband is, after 30 years, still surprised by the "culture clash" we have b/c he was raised very well-off and I was definitely not.
I grew up as upper middle class, though in my small hometown we were definitely considered well off. It wasn't till I moved away and into an apartment that I realized how out of touch I was. I didn't know how to do anything, I had no idea how to be an adult. He was easing by without struggle. I had my own big bedroom growing up, had food at my beck and call, my own bathroom and always took for granted that my electricity and water were running, I didn't know NOT having those was an option. He grew up the oldest of four siblings, a three bedroom house with only one bathroom, his dad made many questionable choices with the family money that often lead to electricity cut off, food rationing, ect. My husband now has a great paying job and we still have more money than his parents, while his youngest brother took over mortgage payments to make sure his mother has a roof over her head. Again, these are things I took for granted, I didn't know it could be taken away.
my ex was born in Germany in 1943. His hometown then became part of East Germany and for the next 7 years, most people there struggled with food shortages. Fast forward 40 years: the man is now a university professor but every time he goes to a restaurant, he piles tons of food on his plate, no matter how often he is told he can go back for seconds. Just can't beat the habit.
When my ex told me he grew up in a house with only one bathroom. My house had more bathrooms than people.
Huh. Most people I know have a home with 1 bathroom, that's standard even for middle calss homes. 2 bathrooms is exceptional. Must be a regional thing....
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There have been a few differences between my fiance and me. 1. His family didn't meal plan for the week and usually didn't figure it out till close to dinner time. As such it's hard to get him involved in the meal planning now that he lives with me and my family. 2. When we go down to see his parents if it's not the heat of summer the a/c unit in his room wont be turned on at all. I had to beg last time because it was a much warmer late fall than usual and i was having trouble sleeping because i would get too hot. 3. If his account hits $50, he wont doing anything else even if im way lower in money. We're learning each day how to understand each other. I'm also attempting to teach him some basic cooking so that i dont have to all the time. It's a slow process but it has helped.
Driving through the barrio my husband asks “what’s with all these people walking?” I asked if he’d ever lived in a poor neighborhood and he said he hadn’t. I had to explain to him that not everyone has a car.
I think the ski thing is the most revealing marker, even if a rich family don't show off their money in everyone's face. When my best friend told me that she'd been skiing only once, thanks to her school, while I'd been skiing a few times with my family already, that's when I realized that despite my family's habits and whatever my mom will tell you, we were actually rich.
I was floored the 1st time I went into rich (ex) GF’s house and saw the house I grew up in would easily fit into the ‘great room’. I was just as floored when she was rude to waitstaff and checkout people. I don’t miss her.
Really interesting to read this because it shows just how radically poor most people in africa are. The "poor" that is described in this article is what we'd consider "lower class", meaning not destitute and living in a shack, but poor enough to not be welcome at the elites' dinner tables. The people here that we consider poor are as you see on TV - shacks, no jobs, no bank accounts, no convenient car to sleep in, no possessions apart from some tatty clothes and maybe a TV or portable gas stove (cooker). It's really shocking. Basically what you'd call "homeless". poor-white...757186.jpg 
I owned an apartment. AC, vacations, nice meals, nice furniture etc. Now I live in a single room, with the wife and 3 children. Low income, not-enough-furniture or other luxuries. Why ? Just because of a toxic wife. She just interfere in each and everything in my life, knowing that she has no experience and education at all. I still live with her.
You’re poor because you blame others for your stupid decision making processes.
Load More Replies... I grew up low middle class (enlisted military), but my husband grew up very poor. He was on his own and homeless by 14. He worked and went to school then joined the military. He never liked red meat because he hadn't tasted it until he was about 10. He won't eat minute rice either. We budget our money, but he goes out of his way to spoil the people that he loves. I have to tell him that I don't need anything because he constantly wants to give me things. He always overtips, gives to homeless/ charities, because at one time people gave to him.
You remind me of something I experienced often: My family never had much money and really struggled from time to time, but if there was a friend or family member struggling even more to an existential point, then they'd try to give a little bit (and if it was only a meal or clothes). Later in life I re-experienced it with friends and with my in laws. Sometimes it was only about 5 or 10 Euros to make a difference. And this is what we did and what others did for us. On the other hand side, some old friends of my husband who were not wealthy or something but never experienced struggling to pay for food or the like, never even thought about doing that. I don't know if it's because the amount or gesture is like nothing to them or because they simply didn't bother...
Load More Replies... Growing up me and my sister were well taken care of, but we were also pretty poor so my mom had to bend over backwards to make ends meet every moth. Often she would go and take bikerides by herself in the evenings for about an hour just to clear her head of all the worrying about money (I later learned this - my dad generated the income but my mom took care of finances). She taught me to save, always save money. I now have a pretty good financial buffer and a decent paying job, but every time I spend a sum of money on something for myself I feel awkward and decadent about it for weeks.
I've experienced some reasonable extremes of poverty and wealth. I'm nowhere near the richest I've been, but I'm comfortable enough now. But I have lived among people who truly had nothing and people who had everything, and I would choose the poorest of the poor every time as human beings (even though I wish they weren't so poor for their sake).
Same here. Altho I have known 1 or 2 wealthy people who were very decent humans - they didn't live high on the hog, and they contributed a lot to those who had less, both in money & in actual work on the streets.
Load More Replies... Does anyone else experience others putting them down for not being a materialistic person, or just being ok with existing and having what you need? I'm asking because lately I've noticed some of my close family telling me because I'm not into money and only desire to have no more than I need. They are saying I'm lazy and have no goals or ambition. Does anyone else experience this when it comes to financial situations?
Not sure if this is the same. I grew up poor so my only dream was getting out. I did, when I was fifteen ... and then I was lost. That was my only goal. I didn't realize I needed ambition too. Years later a "friend" asked if I'd been hunting, fishing, skiing, camping, surfing, etc. I said no. He said I was lucky to have no interests because then it was easy for me to save. All I heard was the insult, "You grew up so poor you never learned how to have fun."
Load More Replies... 4 summers ago, my friends and I went to california and grand canyon for a road trip. Before we went to the grand canyon, we stopped in san diego for 5 days to stay with a friend. We made friends with someone and brought him with us to another friend's house who had a pool, open buffet, really nice place. We ate so much, swam, etc. Spent the whole day there. I thought wow it would be so nice to have a place like this and then our new friend said it would be nice to have any kind of place and that he's homeless. We were shocked. He didn't look homeless (no offense). I asked where he's living. He said in his car. He parked it two streets down so we wouldn't see it. He was trying to find work at the time. He used to work in a restaurant. I've had him on fb since. His recent post showed a picture of him and a gf with their new baby born.
My husband is, after 30 years, still surprised by the "culture clash" we have b/c he was raised very well-off and I was definitely not.
I grew up as upper middle class, though in my small hometown we were definitely considered well off. It wasn't till I moved away and into an apartment that I realized how out of touch I was. I didn't know how to do anything, I had no idea how to be an adult. He was easing by without struggle. I had my own big bedroom growing up, had food at my beck and call, my own bathroom and always took for granted that my electricity and water were running, I didn't know NOT having those was an option. He grew up the oldest of four siblings, a three bedroom house with only one bathroom, his dad made many questionable choices with the family money that often lead to electricity cut off, food rationing, ect. My husband now has a great paying job and we still have more money than his parents, while his youngest brother took over mortgage payments to make sure his mother has a roof over her head. Again, these are things I took for granted, I didn't know it could be taken away.
my ex was born in Germany in 1943. His hometown then became part of East Germany and for the next 7 years, most people there struggled with food shortages. Fast forward 40 years: the man is now a university professor but every time he goes to a restaurant, he piles tons of food on his plate, no matter how often he is told he can go back for seconds. Just can't beat the habit.
When my ex told me he grew up in a house with only one bathroom. My house had more bathrooms than people.
Huh. Most people I know have a home with 1 bathroom, that's standard even for middle calss homes. 2 bathrooms is exceptional. Must be a regional thing....
Load More Replies... There have been a few differences between my fiance and me. 1. His family didn't meal plan for the week and usually didn't figure it out till close to dinner time. As such it's hard to get him involved in the meal planning now that he lives with me and my family. 2. When we go down to see his parents if it's not the heat of summer the a/c unit in his room wont be turned on at all. I had to beg last time because it was a much warmer late fall than usual and i was having trouble sleeping because i would get too hot. 3. If his account hits $50, he wont doing anything else even if im way lower in money. We're learning each day how to understand each other. I'm also attempting to teach him some basic cooking so that i dont have to all the time. It's a slow process but it has helped.
Driving through the barrio my husband asks “what’s with all these people walking?” I asked if he’d ever lived in a poor neighborhood and he said he hadn’t. I had to explain to him that not everyone has a car.
I think the ski thing is the most revealing marker, even if a rich family don't show off their money in everyone's face. When my best friend told me that she'd been skiing only once, thanks to her school, while I'd been skiing a few times with my family already, that's when I realized that despite my family's habits and whatever my mom will tell you, we were actually rich.
I was floored the 1st time I went into rich (ex) GF’s house and saw the house I grew up in would easily fit into the ‘great room’. I was just as floored when she was rude to waitstaff and checkout people. I don’t miss her.
Really interesting to read this because it shows just how radically poor most people in africa are. The "poor" that is described in this article is what we'd consider "lower class", meaning not destitute and living in a shack, but poor enough to not be welcome at the elites' dinner tables. The people here that we consider poor are as you see on TV - shacks, no jobs, no bank accounts, no convenient car to sleep in, no possessions apart from some tatty clothes and maybe a TV or portable gas stove (cooker). It's really shocking. Basically what you'd call "homeless". poor-white...757186.jpg
I owned an apartment. AC, vacations, nice meals, nice furniture etc. Now I live in a single room, with the wife and 3 children. Low income, not-enough-furniture or other luxuries. Why ? Just because of a toxic wife. She just interfere in each and everything in my life, knowing that she has no experience and education at all. I still live with her.
You’re poor because you blame others for your stupid decision making processes.
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