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Love has a strange effect on people and the joyful feeling they have in their hearts clouds their judgement so it is not so hard to not notice red flags that look so bright and obvious looking from afar. People tend to make excuses for questionable behavior or unconventional habits to later find themselves wanting to run away from a person.

Sometimes red flags are more subtle, but the ones TikTok users shared are not that. It all started when 3zoebridges’ video went viral with 1.4M. In that video she introduced herself as a red flag that she ignored and for her it was that her ex was named Jake. Weirdly enough, many people in the comments of that video related that men with that name are not trustworthy or even men having a name that starts with a “J.” But people who stitched the video actually had some really serious ones and we collected them here in a list.

Image credits: 3zoebridges

More info: TikTok

#1

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"Hi, I'm Andrew. My family is super conservative and voted for Trump so you're going to have to cover your tattoos and hide your blue hair when you meet my mom. Also, can you take out your nose rings? They're kinda weird.

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Bored Panda reached out to Holly Wade, a licensed clinical social worker, to ask her how some people don't notice or choose to ignore red flags. She explained that "Before you have had an experience it is hard to recognize red flags - many people grow up sheltered and naive. Other times people are so desperate for connection that they choose to ignore red flags because it would mean they would need to set a boundary they are afraid to set out of fear of losing the relationship."

#2

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Hi. My name is "I made my ex to slit her wrist to prove she actually loved me."

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#3

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Hi. "I like to [annoy] you for my own amusement. And when we got visit your grandfather's grave, I'll say 'Why are we here, it's not like there is anything there.'"

juicefromthebox Report

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Maybe sometimes it's a case of wanting to help a person overcome their problems and that is why they think a red flag is not a big deal. The expert Holly Wade, LCSW comments on that saying that every person has to work on their own problems and the other is there to support them in their journey. She adds, "It is not healthy to think one can change another or take responsibility for your partners behavior or growth."

#4

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Hi. Nice to meet you. "I don't really know why, but I just feel the need to punch you in the face right now. Don't worry, I would never do it. But sometimes I look at you and I juts want to hit you as hard as I can. Don't worry I won't do it though."

ezdnil Report

#5

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Hi. My name is "All my exes are crazy."

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#6

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Hi. I'm "I just separated with my second wife. Nice to meet you. And P.S. I'm actually very much with her and when you hear me refer to my awful roommate, it's actually my wife."

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Eiram
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My sister: He said he is separated because his ex is crazy and he just wants sex. (Reality his wife was/did just have baby, and he had kids with four other women).

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In this list you may find that the red flags people ignored are quite unique and not everyone may relate to them, so we wanted to know what are the most common signals to indicate that the person someone is in a relationship with could be not the best choice.

Holly Wade, LCSW explained that people form romantic relationships having different expectations and if those expectations aren't met and if the person can't give what you want from a relationship, that may mean that you should reconsider why you are in that relationship.

#7

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Hey. How are you doing? "Yeah, my parents have money. I rely on them for everything. I have never had an actual job but yeah, I call myself rich even though it's their money."

em_b20 Report

#8

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Hi. My name is "I know you're a lot younger than me, but your credit score is better than mine, so yeah, this could work out for us."

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The expert also mentions some common red flags that are more universal and should not be ignore are "verbal, emotional and physical abuse of yourself, another person or an animal and substance use problems that are not being acknowledged or treated. One often missed is when a person makes themselves out to be a victim in need of rescue."

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#9

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Hey, what's up. I'm homeless and pretending to like you so I can have a place to live. Also, I'm never getting any of those jobs I lied to you about applying for, so you'll have to kick me out after three months.

bobbybeyond Report

#10

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"My name is *cough* and I just got a job at the 7/11. Was the worst day of my life man."

"Oh yeah, the first day at a new job's always tough. Tomorrow will be better."

"Oh no, I don't come back there til next Saturday. I don't wanna work more than one day a week."

*A week later*

"Hey, so how's the job going?"

"I kinda feel like I know how the holocaust survivors felt, like maybe kind of worse actually. No, seriously, I mean it. It's a really hard job. It's harder than yours."

"I teach special needs 3-year-olds at a public school."

"I risk getting shot every single day."

"We practice hiding in the closet. I keep a baseball bat in there."

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Do you agree with Holly Wade, LCSW? Were you in a situation when you chose to ignore red flags or you didn't acknowledged them? Why do you think that happens? We would love to know your thoughts and also reactions to the missed red flags that TikTok users shared!

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#11

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Hi. I'm "Sociopath is just a nickname my friends gave me."

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Alexia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've had such "friends". They are extremely manipulative and don't care if their actions hurt others.

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#12

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Hi. "I've been married and divorced twice before the age of 22 and I was in the navy."

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Pheebs
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As someone with a military sibling, they tell me that’s kind of common. Quite a few rush and marry their HS sweetheart, or college SO because they’ll be traveling a lot. Then frequently one of 2 things happens: 1. They realize they’re not actually marriage compatible. 2. One of them cheats because of the distance (if the spouse isn’t moving with them), or said incompatibility. Thank the cycle repeats when they meet the next (supposedly) serious SO and whirlwind away. It can be hard if you’re stationed someplace for only months at a time, or stationed someplace your SO can’t go with.

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#13

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Hi. My name is "the first time I hang out with you after we meet at a party, I'm going to invite all of my friends over to your house. Then when my friends get there I'm going to proceed to have a fight with them. Then, once that fight's over we're all going to go to the bar together. And while I'm at the bar, I'm going to fall asleep standing up on the dance floor. Then after you call me an Uber while going back to my place, I'm going to fall asleep in the front seat of the Uber to the point where you can't wake me up or the Uber driver can't wake me up. And the Uber driver has to threaten to call the cops before you drag me into your house. And then when I finally get in bed, I'm going to throw up all over your sheets, call you my ex's name and tell you I love you.

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#14

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Hi. I am "repeated physical intimidation. like when I'm lying down, punching the ground next to my face and shoving me up against the wall, but he's not an abuser and it's okay because he never actually hit me."

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#15

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"Hi. I had a great time on our date tonight but I just got out of prison and don't have somewhere to stay tonight. Can I stay at yours?"

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#16

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Hi. My name is "I had sex with my step-sibling as revenge for my parents getting divorced."

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#17

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Hi. "I am onTinder because my best friend uses it. Even though there's recently updated pictures of me. I swear, I don't use it. It's for my best friend."

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El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

so, her point is...don't trust people on tinder? well, I knew that already

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#18

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Hi. My name is "not your type at all. I'm gonna make you like me for my personality and gonna lead you on for about 6 or 7 months. I'm gonna talk to you every single morning, I'm gonna text you throughout the day, I'm gonna do everything correctly. I'm gonna call you at nighttime. Then I'm gonna claim that we're just friends. We're not talking. I'm not gonna be your man. Then I'm gonna finally set a date for us. Right before our first date I'm gonna start ignoring you, then blocking you, then I'm gonna unblock you and try to block your iCloud. I'm also an Aries."

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#19

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"Hi. I'm still married and she hates my guts, but I'm still trying to make things work."

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Otter
Community Member
2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"And how do you think dating other women will help make it work? I'm genuinely interested!"

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#20

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Hi. My name is "I change my ex girlfriend's name to a different boy name every time I get caught cheating because I don't want my girlfriend to know."

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#21

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"Hi. I'm a libertarian."

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sofacushionfort
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I live with a Libertarian. Basically, they believe they should be able to do whatever they want so long as, as far as they see it, no one else is harmed. Of course, they’re a three year old, but what do you expect?

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#22

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Hi. "I'm unavailable for a relationship because it's 'gaming season' and there wouldn't be time for you."

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#23

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He had this weird obsession with Jimmy Savile. Jimmy Savile?!

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#24

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"Hi. When no one's around I like to be talked to like a baby and you're my mommy. Lets stay together for 2 years."

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snipergun
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Fetish like any other. Not a red flag by itself. Some completely functional people do this... I don't mind, despite that it's not for me.

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#25

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Hi. "I have my ex's name tattooed on me."

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snipergun
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok this is not necessarily red flag for me, everyone makes mistakes, and sometimes that mistake is your ex's name tattooed... And I think better to hear that before you find out yourself.

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