ADVERTISEMENT

If a tear opened up in the space-time continuum and a little green man from the future popped in to say hi, probably one of the first things he'd want to learn about humanity would be our love life.

But imagine explaining all the intricate aspects of romance in the 21st century to someone who isn't familiar with it. 'A couple of co-living friends with benefits who agreed to marry each other if they're both single when they're forty' would alone take at least a year to describe.

Luckily, there's a Facebook group you could show to this curious being instead. Aptly titled 'Relationship memes', it has over 2 million members who are constantly sharing heartfelt and humorous snippets from their everyday life.

Although it's quite young even by the internet's standards (the group was created in July 2020), this online community has already touched on pretty much everything a person can experience with their partner.

Continue scrolling to check out some of its top posts and the conversations we had with Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski Jr., who is a professor and former chair in the Department of Psychology at Monmouth University, and a relationship expert with over 33 years of experience with children, teens, adults, couples, and families, Dr. Jeffrey Bernstein.

More info: Facebook

#1

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Add photo comments
POST
ssnx01 avatar
Chich
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Pretty much what we did. Short tiny ceremony and done. Could not imagine paying the equivalent of a house downpayment for it.

caressa_eh avatar
CH1990
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This! I truly do not understand why people need to have these over the top weddings.. seems like they're not even enjoying it.

lou_delue avatar
Zenozenobee
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I like the idea of celebrating with both our families but if we ever decide to get married, would it be that bad to just get a BBQ and everyone bring a salade ? Do we have to wear unconfortable clothes and shoes, we only get to wear once and be high on stress all day for the cost of both arms and eye balls?

cynthiaweiner avatar
C W
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We did this. It made a lot of people unhappy but I flat out refused to spend the down payment on a house on the wedding. My mother-in-law did end up throwing us a cocktail party when we got back from the honeymoon and it was very nice.

dhomuth avatar
Don Homuth
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We got married by a judge my wife had been clerking for. Took the honeymoon two weeks earlier, after she finished the bar exam. Been holding for 33 years so it must have worked.

benitavaldez avatar
Benita Valdez
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Exactly. Get the paperwork done then join me at the nearest bar to celebrate.

taylorvilleda avatar
Otakupanda
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If I have a wedding it will be immediate family only

kesti-nielsen avatar
TheElderNom
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Cheating sounds like a bad way to start a married life. Well unless you're both into it I suppose.

d_channissa avatar
Miocha
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We did, except we still haven't had our honeymoon yet. Pandemic is one thing, but our work life is crazy as well.

traderofmetta avatar
Nunya Bidnits
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

25 years ago I was married without prior knowledge; I'd promised her we'd get married after I'd attained a particular milestone. That day she marched me down to get the license. The clerk asked "When would you like to get married. I answered "As soon as possible." She directed us to the judge's chambers. We left married.

maryhannahguyaux avatar
MH<3
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Went out to meet my husband's best friend who lived in Hawaii, spent 5 days there flew my best friend out, exchanged vows from star trek in homemade clothes, spent 3 more days celebrating and came home to no debt. Got married legally in the court house like a month later? One of the best choices we've ever made!

bludragonfly63 avatar
Mika N
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I loved having our families and friends around us for our wedding (but I know that can vary a lot for everyone's situation). I'm a big fan of just having smaller weddings! We had less than 100 people, and held it in the field behind my parent's house. We searched for good deals on catering, hired a couple student musicians (recommended by their teacher) picked flowers from our field and a local pick-your-own farm. My sister (not a pro but super talented) made our wedding cake for the cost of materials. I wanted it to be nice and enjoyable for our guests but affordable. We still spent a few thousand (about 1/6 of the average) but didn't go into any debt!

queenofthecastle82 avatar
Queenie-Poo
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's what my husband and I did. A tiny backyard ceremony with our two best friends, our daughter, and the official (who was also a friend). We had a big party a few months later where we just rented a group campsite for a weekend.

tracerdx avatar
Bryan W.
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Micro-wedding (ie. immediate family only) if you actually like your family and/or want at least a little bit of a ceremony. Otherwise, this. Big weddings are for the rich.

monicahoughton avatar
Monica Houghton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tried to do this, but MIL made us have a wedding here. I have a huge family, but kept the cost low - about 3,000 for catering 200 people. So it was a good time and didn't break the bank :)

micah_2 avatar
Micah
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Serious question: How does someone make you and your betrothed have a wedding you didn't want?

Load More Replies...
clarisse-embodet avatar
Clarisse
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As an introvert, I can't wait until people do this. Why do we have to stay for hours in a noisy, crowded place full of stangers? Please stop inviting us.

danavinger avatar
zeros500
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Right! Spend that money on the honeymoon if you have the money to blow through!

chadjohnson_1 avatar
chad johnson
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We did that, had a best friend who could sigh the papers. My SO was content with this, although we toyed with flying to Vegas and having Elvis do it, then call our parents for us lol

colin_threlfall avatar
Fitz_N_Fartz
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What I did. Married abroad and invited those that wanted to come and have a holiday and wedding. Nice private ceremony with 8 family and friends and a host of hotel guests, absolutely brilliant. of course, had a blessing ceremony back home which was in all things every bit like the real deal. Everyone was more than happy.

adrianagrumezescu avatar
Adriana Grumezescu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So, for a wedding in USA do you give out gifts or money at the end of the wedding ? I am just curious.

bludragonfly63 avatar
Mika N
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guests bring the couple gifts or cards with money in them usually. The high cost of the wedding is usually things like a fancy venue, catering the meal, hiring musicians, the wedding cake, professionally arranged flowers for bouquets and decor, wedding dress, photographer and sometimes videographer, etc.

Load More Replies...
master_minds9_1 avatar
DennyS (denzoren)
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yessss. Don't spend money for other people to have a good time. The only important thing legally is the paperwork. Then take the wedding money and go on holiday where you can enjoy it.

vickyz avatar
Vicky Z
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Especially when it's 45° f*****g degrees and you decide to have your wedding when most people arrange their holidays!!

mirielapatrikiadou avatar
Lou
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just be prepared for many looong faces at family dinners. Been there, done that.

View more commentsArrow down menu

As you can see from the pictures and probably already know from real life, there are many, many ways in which two (or more!) people can commit to one another. However, Dr. Bernstein, the author of 'Why Can't You Read My Mind? Overcoming the 9 Toxic Thought Patterns that Get in the Way of a Loving Relationship' told Bored Panda he thinks the cornerstones of a healthy romantic relationship are:

Mutual respect and trust. "By this, I am referring to being sensitive and self-aware when interacting with your partner," Dr. Bernstein said. "It's important to remember that they are a separate individual from you with their own sensitivities, preferences, and struggles. It's easy to take a partner for granted and minimize the value of them being there for you. The reality is that all relationships take work, and by speaking/engaging in caring thoughtful ways, you will support a strong mutual connection."

And ascribing positive intentions to your partner, i.e., giving them the benefit of the doubt. "That means believing that they don't want to hurt you and they have your best interests at heart."

#3

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Add photo comments
POST
deborahbrett avatar
Deborah B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or see if you can borrow someone else's baby for a weekend. My nephew screams like an fire alarm. The first time the extended family heard him we were all shocked. It was the loudest unamplified human sound I have ever heard. Totally confirmed my belief I should remain child-free.

View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

But no matter how compatible and willing to work a couple can be, disagreements are inevitable. It's how they are handled that matters. "I believe a complete lack of conflict is a bad sign," Dr. Gary W. Lewandowski, author of 'Stronger Than You Think: The 10 Blind Spots That Undermine Your Relationship...and How to See Past Them', told Bored Panda.

"It's impossible for two independent autonomous adults who share power equally in the relationship to not disagree on occasion (or even frequently). Rather than avoiding disagreement, the goal should be to keep small problems small by being willing to frequently engage as differences arise. This way they don't accumulate over time to become bigger problems that result in fights that could threaten the relationship."

Dr. Bernstein agrees. No two people are alike and when they spend so much time with each other, there's going to be friction. "We all get toxic thoughts about our partners, which I explain in my book, this comes from the idea that we all have self-talk. From the moment we wake up to when we go to bed, we can either be our own best friend or our own worst enemy. Similarly, we have a lot of thoughts and feelings that run through our heads about our intimate partners. For example, 'He always thinks about himself' or 'She is lazy' are toxic thoughts that left to their own devices can create tension."

ADVERTISEMENT

The best way to counteract these types of toxic thoughts, according to the relationship expert, is to consciously realize that understanding our intimate partners is just as important as loving them. "The more we lead with empathy, the more we reduce conflicts."

#8

Relationship Memes

KDuminy Report

Add photo comments
POST
kathrynstretton avatar
kathryn stretton
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Optical version of sticking your fingers in your ears and singing " la lalalala laaa".

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT

As more Americans turn to online dating after the #MeToo movement left its imprint on the scene, nearly half of U.S. adults – and a majority of women – say that dating has become harder in the last 10 years.

Daters who had difficulty finding people to go out with were asked about some of the possible reasons that might be the case. Among them, the most common explanations include the challenge of finding someone who is looking for the same type of relationship (53% say this is a major reason), difficulty in approaching people (46%) and trouble finding someone who meets their expectations (43%).

ADVERTISEMENT

Interestingly, most single people (including both those on and off the market) say their friends, family or society in general don't make them feel obliged to find a partner. Just two-in-ten (22%) say they feel at least some pressure from friends, while 31% say the same about family members, and 37% say they feel society is pressuring them.

However, it's worth mentioning that pressure to be in a committed relationship is highly dependent on age—younger singles have to carry a much heavier burden.

For example, 53% of single 18- to 29-year-olds say there is at least some pressure from society to find a partner, compared with 42% of 30- to 49-year-olds, 32% of 50- to 64-year-olds, and just 21% of those ages 65 and older. In fact, a majority of singles 65 and older – the vast majority of whom are widowed or divorced, in contrast to young singles who are mostly never married – say they feel no pressure at all from each of these sources.

ADVERTISEMENT
#16

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Add photo comments
POST
vickyz avatar
Vicky Z
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is necessary even without the boyfriend! I'm always crushing my own hand during sleep

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

If scrolling through these memes you feel the urge to send them to your partner, do it. Dr. Bernstein, for instance, believes that humor is super important to the quality of a relationship.

"I think it's important to be able to laugh at ourselves and laugh with our partners," he said. "Humor allows us to make hyperboles out of our shortcomings and even use lighthearted comments about what our partners do that annoy us. Thus, humor is another means to work through toxic thoughts and diffuse them to lower potential conflict."

#19

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Add photo comments
POST
kcmilholland avatar
Justme
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Gawd that was an ugly dress. Kim: “I want the front to look like a tight white crew-neck T-shirt, backless, and I want to wear a belt”. Designer: “Are you sure? That will look silly”. Kim: “Kanye says that’s what I want”.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
#20

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Add photo comments
POST
cosner13 avatar
Kristel
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Two blankets! Solving world problems one step at a time…enter doggo. Dang! Three blankets!

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu
ADVERTISEMENT
See Also on Bored Panda

Moreover, compatibility in the couple's sense of humor can make a difference, too. "Compatibility in any form is important for relationship harmony, and having a shared sense of humor is part of that," Dr. Lewandowski said. "Being able to laugh together is an important part of friendship and the best romantic partners are also best friends. Humor is also a fantastic way to reconnect following conflict. Being able to laugh at ourselves or at the ridiculous things we’re arguing about helps get the relationship back on track."

#23

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Add photo comments
POST
jasonleaf avatar
Jason Leaf
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yes, ten minutes is the standard allotted time to reflect on one's foolish drama.

View more commentsArrow down menu
#24

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Add photo comments
POST
jasandham avatar
Julie Rod
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Or that second/third loves can work out. This couple could have met in their 70s. Either way, very sweet.

View More Replies...
View more commentsArrow down menu

There's often wisdom in silliness. "Memes are useful because they help us look at our relationship from a new perspective," Dr. Lewandowski added "Like a lot of humor, it disarms us by making a point in a funny context that makes it less personal, judgmental, or confrontational. When we let our guard down, we can gain new insights that ultimately strengthen our relationship."

#28

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Add photo comments
POST
shobhakuwar avatar
iLoVeGrOoT....
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Even if nobody's eyes are on her, and hers look at you with full trust....never take that for granted as well <3

View more commentsArrow down menu
#30

Relationship Memes

Relationship Memes Report

Note: this post originally had 84 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.

But it all boils down to making a habit of being honest with each other. Dr. Bernstein emphasized that we need to remember that all relationships take work. There's no way around it. Everything that's worthwhile doesn't come easy. But the key here, the relationship expert said, is to ask ourselves is it work with a capital W or a small w.

"Big Capital W work refers to emotional abuse, active additions where partners refuse treatment, ongoing infidelity, and gaslighting. Small W work means managing stylistic differences, respecting each other‘s wants and needs, and communicating about the positives in the relationships as well as the struggles."