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When the whole world decides it’s a perfectly sunny day to turn against you (and trust me, it happens way more often than you think!), there's little you can do about it. You can sit in denial, go into a full breakdown without a return ticket, or you can laugh your ass off through staring straight into the depths of your pain.

In fact, there’s a whole online community dedicated to this coping mechanism where people share examples of self-deprecating humor. No wonder it’s such a huge success! Created in 2016, the r/2meirl4meirl subreddit has a whopping 1.3M members who come here for a daily fix.

I mean, if we cannot fight that pain, at least we can sit right next to it and have a good laugh at each other. So scroll down and upvote your favorite posts!

#1

2meirl4meirl

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Alexia
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can relate to this so well. Several colleagues have told me that I am a funny, optimistic person, and that my jokes make them laugh and feel good. That I often manage to lighten up tensed atmosphere at work and make their day easier. In reality, the funnier I am for the outside world... the more I struggle with depression inside. I often wondered what the others would say, had they been able to see this other side of me.

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Bobert Robertson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Screw the others and making them happy. Focus on your own happiness. Best wishes.

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Leo Domitrix
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Get necessaries done, sit in room hoping world stays out of it...

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Lanie
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is maybe the worst feeling. In the room filled with people, you feel hopelessly alone.

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John C
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope it matters what you're thinking about, because this describes the days I aspire to have. A wonderfully quiet evening, sans television and other distractions, is the perfect way to get my mind right. I wouldn't use the word depression though. (Maybe I should?)

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Marta Kęska
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If that what makes you happy and you're OK about it - no, I don't think it's depression. But if the idea of "not caring about your job and doing nothing after coming back home every single day" is a way to get by but not really living the life you want to have... it might be a problem. I've been living like this for years just to not be UNhappy. The problem is that I don't really know if I'm actually happy in the state of 'doing nothing and not suffering'

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Marta Kęska
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me it was crying on my way to work day after day. Having a cigarette or two outside the office, drying my tears and going to work to smile and be efficient and helpful and then going bakc home to do nothing

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Lovin' Life
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I also suffer from depression and anxiety disorders. I spend my day people pleasing only to go home and live in my head. Its scary sometimes. How do you break the cycle?

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Alexia
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was told that we behave like that, because deep inside we believe we don't deserve to be loved (in most cases it's the result of an early childhood trauma). And we want to be loved and liked and accepted, so we make extra efforts to please others. We try to compensate the toxic belief that we are "not enough", that we have to earn their love. In reality, we deserve to be loved for who we are, just as we are. Stop doing things for the others, choose yourself over them. And don't feel guilty about it. A pet is really helpful, a good therapist as well. Hugs.

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CincyReds
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Awww if you can get a dog! They make you go outside and take walks, and just their kisses alone always make me feel better

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Stephanie Keith
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So this is the majority of people? Ever think that maybe we aren't depressed but financially unstable because of the messed up system? I'd bet money would help this. Higher wages and being able to live comfortably would fix 95% of things for most of us. It's possible yet it won't happen and that makes me even more depressed.

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Mark Fuller
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

God yeah. I'm the funny guy at work with boundless energy and enthusiasm, that others find inspiring and infectious. If. Only. They. Knew. I deserve an Oscar. Several in fact.

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Giovanna
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I remember spending months in 2012 doing this, I went to work and all but as soon as I got home I went straight to bed and remained in bed all afternoon

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Lytha
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My SO these days ... I don't know what to do, nothing I do for him seems to work, ...

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Sammie 19
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

For me depression is not having the energy or willpower to be out of bed. Yes, I get up to use the toilet and make coffee or a drink and sandwich and then taking the sandwich and juice back to bed because I just can't emotionally be up. I have nothing to look forward to and nothing to live for.

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HammerzToe
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Sleep is great way to escape all that... known from personal experience.

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AspieGirl88
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So true. Can’t count how many times people have told me “you don’t LOOK depressed” ... well, considering I’m on 150mg Amitriptyline since I was 14 (& I’m 33 now), I think it’s safe to say that it’s very real, or my GP would’ve stopped them ages ago. 🤷‍♀️

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EagerPanda 🐼
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i'd love to know if anyone has ever been "healed" of lifelong depression?

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Yomaira Wilson
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I was with someone that made me feel lonely for ten years . Now, I feel less lonely without him.

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deanna woods
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is all to true for me. Sometimes I have been smiling and trying to be happy and all I want to do is crawl into my bed, put the cover over my head, and just cry.

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Sheila Stamey
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And just looking at the wall without realizing it until it is time to go to bed..

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Izzy_
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And having people ask you "omg you're always so happy" :(

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Autumnal whispers
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm everyone's favourite work mum but go home and there sitting quietly until I can reasonably go to bed...

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IDGAFabtUrFeelings
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What? I thought that was just part of being an adult. I do it everyday...

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A growing body of research has suggested that laughing during difficult situations may help to ease our pain and distress. In order to find out how that works, we reached out to Jennifer Williams, the founder of Heartmanity, which provides people with support and vital skills needed to create a healthy and thriving life with relationships that enrich and uplift us. Heartmanity provides groundbreaking skills and programs based on brain science and 30 years of experience.

Jennifer explained that an ability to laugh during painful or difficult situations requires resilience, which is an emotional intelligence ability. “Humor and laughter during tough times don’t mean that we are not taking our lives seriously, but rather, laughing acts like a release valve on a pressure cooker.”

Moreover, “This resilient mindset stems from innate confidence in ourselves to handle life’s curveballs and challenges successfully. The quality of our life is not about what happens to us; it’s about how we interpret and respond to our experiences,” she explained.

#4

2meirl4meirl

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Hard work, persistence, and never giving up... The things that arrogant toxic-positivity personal development life coaches tell you to do so you feel more miserable and buy more of their books.

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#5

2meirl4meirl

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I I
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

we're always the joker , trying to be the light in others lives we need in ours

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Moreover, growing your inner optimist and practicing mindful optimism trains our brains to see the good even when things go awry. Jennifer said that in this way, we start seeing the world through a new lens. “Laughter and humor are wonderful ways to release stress and reset our perspective.”

#7

2meirl4meirl

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John C
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

even better when you try to control your huffing to try and speak normally!

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When asked whether self-deprecating humor can be seen as a useful coping mechanism, Jennifer said that since she believes that we need self-compassion to be at our best, she’s not a fan of self-deprecating humor as a coping mechanism. “In my experience, when a person uses this kind of humor, they tend to be avoiding the reality of what is happening (evading tough emotions like grief or anger) and can be neglecting to take responsible action.”

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Even though poking fun at ourselves is a healthy part of humility, the founder of Heartmanity believes that since deprecating means “to belittle or cheapen,” this type of humor can backfire, so you have to be careful. It may cause us to “feel more overwhelmed and less equipped to handle what we are facing in life,” Jennifer warned.

#10

2meirl4meirl

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Me : "I'm depressed." Therapist : "Well, don't be." Me : "I don't pay you to sound like my parents!" Therapist : "You don't pay me, you are French."

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#12

2meirl4meirl

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Vicky Z
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And don't you feel proud about yourselves when you have made the minimum in one day so you think you should award yourself with 3 days alone at home? Or it's only me?

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“On the other hand, science shows that gratitude helps to alleviate stress, offsets psychological disorientation caused by unexpected suffering, and increases positive emotions and a sense of well-being. Therefore, regularly practicing gratitude is a far more effective strategy for stress.”

Jennifer concluded that “through appreciation, we keep what is most important to us top of mind, and then we can better stay encouraged in difficult or painful situations.”

#13

2meirl4meirl

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K Witmer
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The sound of Sunday football on tv still gives me anxiety bc that sound meant Monday was very close

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#14

2depressed4depression

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#20

2meirl4meirl

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

How to get a restraining order, how to find the worst retirement house in the world...

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#23

2meirl4meirl

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Katie Lutesinger
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I just like the way it makes my skin tingle on a cold morning. The fact that I live alone has nothing to do with it. Probably.

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#28

2meirl4meirl

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Lovin' Life
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Same... I hate being a people pleaser only to forget to take care of myself

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#30

2meirl4meirl

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Isabel Care
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Signed off work. Now have lots of weird and witchy hats that make people smile. And clothing colours that resemble an explosion in a paint factory.

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#32

2meirl4meirl

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Pearl
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*When you actually wake up early* Ugh..why did I bother? *Goes back to sleep*

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#34

2meirl4meirl

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notdream
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ah, I sense something very relatable… overthinking everything

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#35

2meirl4meirl

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Coping mechanisms are the only things that keep you alive. My favorite ones are denial and rationalization.

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#38

2meirl4meirl

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Dina Simoné
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Comparing yourself to others is the best way to become unhappy. Thats why people love Instagram so much. It brings a lot of easy accessible misery in your life.

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#41

2meirl4meirl

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Looking at the way things are going in the world today, this might be the wisest thing to do.

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#43

2meirl4meirl

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WilvanderHeijden
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's just the doctrine that all governments use. "Your personal interests are not important to our society." also "Climate change happens because YOU drive a car."

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#44

2meirl4meirl

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Brendan
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Therapist writes, "Funny joke about two donkeys. Remember to use at dinner party tonight!"

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#45

2meirl4meirl

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Ryan Deschanel
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Still better than "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and count your blessings".

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#48

2meirl4meirl

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DarkLumiya
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

and for each 7 year old doing that, there is probably a few thousand 7 year olds working in dangerous mines and jobs in unspeakable conditions ,

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#49

2meirl4meirl

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Vicky Z
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That's so me! My tv is for decoration and always open on the background without sound on!

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#50

2meirl4meirl

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