Dad Refuses To Call His Daughter Karen Like His Wife Wants, Asks The Internet If He’s A Jerk
The name ‘Karen’ has been causing a lot of controversies recently. What started as a regular name quickly became associated with a lot of negative character features. So much so that some people named Karen are feeling badgered and stereotyped.
So it’s no wonder that some parents are having second thoughts about naming their kids Karen. One of these people is redditor NotKarensDad. He asked his fellow Reddit users if he was a jerk for firmly saying ‘no’ to his wife wanting to name their daughter Karen after her mother. After some evaluations and back-and-forths, the AITA community made their decision. And NotKarensDad later had a wholesome update for all of us. Read on, dear Pandas!
To learn more about possible bullying because of names, Bored Panda reached out to Kidscape. The CEO of Kidscape, Lauren Seager-Smith, told Bored Panda that giving your child an unusual name, or if they have a name that takes on a certain significance for whatever reason, can make the child more likely to be a target of bullying. Scroll down for the rest of her insights.
A dad asked the AITA community on Reddit if he was a jerk for refusing to name his daughter Karen
The dad later came back with a wholesome update
Image credits: NotKarensDad
“With some names, it may be more obvious why children would find them fascinating or amusing—with others, this will be out of your hands, so while you may want to take reasonable precautions in naming your child the focus should always be on empowering children to recognize and respond to bullying behavior,” said Lauren.
She added that parents should never underestimate the impact of bullying and ought to find ways to make their children feel proud of who they are.
We spoke all about Karen memes earlier with Matt Schimkowitz, Know Your Meme’s Senior Editor, who explained the phenomenon (and the dangers when it’s misused) to Bored Panda.
“As [the meme] grows from a parody of a common social experience of someone demanding to speak to a manager to a statement about white privilege, the stakes over the meaning of the meme grow as well. So I think that users of the meme should be cognizant that what they’re meme-ing might not be their intent anymore. It’s very possible that the meme could grow even farther to exhibit misogynistic tendencies, which are somewhat already present,” Matt explained.
“I could see those with sexist beliefs using Karen as a catchall for all women, which is where things get really ugly and suddenly ‘Karen,’ a meme we all enjoyed and used with abandon is connected to something many would find offensive,” he explained some of the dangers of the Karen meme and how it could be misused in some cases.
“The meme’s meaning will change depending on who is meme-ing it and what their intent is, and that could alter how we all view Karen. As I tell most people, you should always meme with caution. These images, nicknames and jokes frequently have unknown origins and could be connected to some really hateful areas of the internet.”
While it’s hard to know the exact origin of the Karen meme, Matt believes that the most convincing theory is Dane Cook’s 2005 comedy special, “The Friend That Nobody Likes.”
“This is one of the earliest examples that we have to using a specific name to stand in for a whole type of person, and it’s a comedic trope that we’ve seen dozens of times over the last 15 years,” Matt said.
“Every group has a Karen and she is always a bag of douche,” Cook said during his stand-up routine. “And when she’s not around, you just look at each other and say, ‘God, Karen, she’s such a douchebag!’”
Here’s what people thought of the redditor’s story
It's very unfair when a name becomes a meme, especially with a negative note. My given name has something similar. For a very stupid reason it came to be associated with the toilet, even though in reality it's a very pretty name :(
I just want to say a HUGE sorry to every Karen out there. I am ashamed to say I have made a few Karen jokes before and for that I sincerely apologise. I was ignorant, caught in the crowd and didn’t think about the ramifications. I WILL do and be better. I am so so so very sorry.
My moms name is Karen. Nicest woman in the world😊
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I know someone named Karen and I don't think it's fair to be using that name as a meme(as well as Ken)...
I'm "blessed" with a first name that was designed to provoke ridicule and bullying. I have changed it now, but for all of my childhood I had to hear the same silly jokes about it. If you are pregnant, and thinking of a "wonderful unique" name for your child, think again. You are about to destroy the childhood of the apple of your eye. Thank you.
My daughters name is Dahlia. She hated it in grade school but now she is a 23 year old artist and she loves her name. (We named her after a Phish song but Dahlia is also a flower so when we mention her we say "Dahlia, like the flower)".
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I mean, I dislike "Karens" (what the name represents) just like every other guy, but does anyone really bully people called Karen? I mean, how stupid is that? I live in a german-speaking country, when we want to "categorize" someone offensively, we sometimes say something like "you're a little Dölfi, aren't you?" (Dölfi short for Adolf), most people hate the famous Adolf for obvious reasons, but nobody would think that somone called Adolf is in fact a little Dölfi... Just like I don't think that every guy called LeBron is automatically a superb athlete.
I agree with your main point, but I think the issue is more with the stigma. Also kids are stupid, and if the name still has the meaning by the time she gets to kindergarten, they might avoid her just because of her name which immediately sets her up for bullying. But yes, most people with well formed brains won’t do that.
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I’ve seen you make that “McFish nugget” thing a lot, you must really find it funny huh?
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FFS, people aren't going to be making jokes 'all her life'. The name Karen has been a normal name until about two years ago. Do people really think it will still be offensive in 50 years? 25 years? 10 years? Call your child what you want, and everyone else can a) teach their children not to be bullies and b) learn some manners themselves.
I wanted to name my son Judas, but the wife said no! Where’s my sympathy?
If this happened to you 2,000 years ago, you have my sympathy. Otherwise, you're out of luck on that front.
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I am one with weird, unique, and hard to spell name, it has beautiful meaning but you can't expect everyone to know. I have always have had trouble with it because no one can say it correctly. I am at a point where I won't even correct anyone anymore. I have been made a lot of fun because of that, and still being made fun of. I beg new parents please don't try to be fancy. Give your kid a normal name, Your kids will thank you. Now if I were you I'd skip the name, Karen.
I was so lucky when deciding a middle name for my daughter. 3 out of 4 Grandmothers had the same name. The 4th was unknown because he was estranged from his adoptive parents. I may have simplified that too much but you get the picture. My own experience when naming a child is "do I know anyone I don't like with that name?" Unfortunately the principle would stand with the meme. I don't know if it's my age or living in the UK but I don't have strong feelings about the name Karen.
Call her Karen. If anyone is stupid enough to make fun of it you and your daughter don't want them around anyway. Kind of an instant friendship test. It's just an internet fad anyway. Hardly anyone in the real world gives a damn. Just be thankful your mother in law's name wasn't Ivanka.
Most parents would not want to risk exposing their children to taunts and social exclusion. Kudos to you if you were able to handle bullying and rejection from a young age, but you were exceptional.
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Mostly with boys, but they seem to rarely get called by their real names. They are Buddy, or Shultzy or Boomer. My brother went for several years when he was quite young insisting on being called NumberSeven.
I feel like a meme shouldn't stop you from naming your daughter something if you like the actual name. I doubt it will still be a think 6-7 years in the future, and if it somehow is, she can always choose a nickname to be called by etc.
I wanted to name my daughter Helen, after my favorite Grandmother. Taking one look at that little face & there was no way "Helen" was gonna work. We named her Brittany Elizabeth (Helen's middle name) and it totally suits her. If we'd had another girl, we agreed we'd name her Normandy Helen. (Thank God we didn't).
Karen [kəˈren] NOUN 1.a member of an indigenous people of eastern Burma (Myanmar) and western Thailand. 2.the language of the Karen, probably Sino-Tibetan. ADJECTIVE 1.relating to the Karen or their language.
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Does anybody remember Germany had a similar issue with "Kevin" a few years ago?! I think the Kevins today are perfectly fine now as all the "cliché Kevins" who gave this name a personality have already grown out of that age to be decent people ^^
I had to deal with being made fun of because of my last name. I also had to deal with being called other names because people couldn't pronounce my name. A name should not be a joke and it needs to stop.
If Chad didn't go away and that's been since like the 80s, Karen is not going away much like real Karens.
Karen [kəˈren] NOUN 1.a member of an indigenous people of eastern Burma (Myanmar) and western Thailand. 2.the language of the Karen, probably Sino-Tibetan. ADJECTIVE 1.relating to the Karen or their language.
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People saying the meme will absolutely be gone in a few years are being a tad unrealistic. How old is "if I fits, I sits"? People still reference "All Your Base Are Belong to Us". The Karen thing might blow over, it might not. Who knows. Maybe it will disappear in two weeks, like a miracle, just in time for Easter. Oh. Wait. That's something else.....
This ugly, sexist Karen meme will probably have blown over before that little girl is grown.
Yes, that meme will be gone in a few years, but as a small child she MAY be bullied anyway until the Karen meme goes away. I'm 72 and I still hurt from being called names 60-65 years ago.
NTA! There are alot of names that are over 5-10yo that i think are a big NONO! GoodGuyGreg, ScumbagSteve, and then the worst pair; Chad and Karen!
Karen [kəˈren] NOUN 1.a member of an indigenous people of eastern Burma (Myanmar) and western Thailand. 2.the language of the Karen, probably Sino-Tibetan. ADJECTIVE 1.relating to the Karen or their language.
Load More Replies... Besides the negative connotation this name is getting politically and socially, the name Karen is very old and I personally don’t think it fits a newborn baby.
Why is this story up here? Name the child whatever you want and give it a rest. Stop overthinking...
He cares about his new daughter knowing the name is now a meme
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It's very unfair when a name becomes a meme, especially with a negative note. My given name has something similar. For a very stupid reason it came to be associated with the toilet, even though in reality it's a very pretty name :(
I just want to say a HUGE sorry to every Karen out there. I am ashamed to say I have made a few Karen jokes before and for that I sincerely apologise. I was ignorant, caught in the crowd and didn’t think about the ramifications. I WILL do and be better. I am so so so very sorry.
My moms name is Karen. Nicest woman in the world😊
Load More Replies... I know someone named Karen and I don't think it's fair to be using that name as a meme(as well as Ken)...
I'm "blessed" with a first name that was designed to provoke ridicule and bullying. I have changed it now, but for all of my childhood I had to hear the same silly jokes about it. If you are pregnant, and thinking of a "wonderful unique" name for your child, think again. You are about to destroy the childhood of the apple of your eye. Thank you.
My daughters name is Dahlia. She hated it in grade school but now she is a 23 year old artist and she loves her name. (We named her after a Phish song but Dahlia is also a flower so when we mention her we say "Dahlia, like the flower)".
Load More Replies... I mean, I dislike "Karens" (what the name represents) just like every other guy, but does anyone really bully people called Karen? I mean, how stupid is that? I live in a german-speaking country, when we want to "categorize" someone offensively, we sometimes say something like "you're a little Dölfi, aren't you?" (Dölfi short for Adolf), most people hate the famous Adolf for obvious reasons, but nobody would think that somone called Adolf is in fact a little Dölfi... Just like I don't think that every guy called LeBron is automatically a superb athlete.
I agree with your main point, but I think the issue is more with the stigma. Also kids are stupid, and if the name still has the meaning by the time she gets to kindergarten, they might avoid her just because of her name which immediately sets her up for bullying. But yes, most people with well formed brains won’t do that.
Load More Replies... I’ve seen you make that “McFish nugget” thing a lot, you must really find it funny huh?
Load More Replies... FFS, people aren't going to be making jokes 'all her life'. The name Karen has been a normal name until about two years ago. Do people really think it will still be offensive in 50 years? 25 years? 10 years? Call your child what you want, and everyone else can a) teach their children not to be bullies and b) learn some manners themselves.
I wanted to name my son Judas, but the wife said no! Where’s my sympathy?
If this happened to you 2,000 years ago, you have my sympathy. Otherwise, you're out of luck on that front.
Load More Replies... I am one with weird, unique, and hard to spell name, it has beautiful meaning but you can't expect everyone to know. I have always have had trouble with it because no one can say it correctly. I am at a point where I won't even correct anyone anymore. I have been made a lot of fun because of that, and still being made fun of. I beg new parents please don't try to be fancy. Give your kid a normal name, Your kids will thank you. Now if I were you I'd skip the name, Karen.
I was so lucky when deciding a middle name for my daughter. 3 out of 4 Grandmothers had the same name. The 4th was unknown because he was estranged from his adoptive parents. I may have simplified that too much but you get the picture. My own experience when naming a child is "do I know anyone I don't like with that name?" Unfortunately the principle would stand with the meme. I don't know if it's my age or living in the UK but I don't have strong feelings about the name Karen.
Call her Karen. If anyone is stupid enough to make fun of it you and your daughter don't want them around anyway. Kind of an instant friendship test. It's just an internet fad anyway. Hardly anyone in the real world gives a damn. Just be thankful your mother in law's name wasn't Ivanka.
Most parents would not want to risk exposing their children to taunts and social exclusion. Kudos to you if you were able to handle bullying and rejection from a young age, but you were exceptional.
Load More Replies... Mostly with boys, but they seem to rarely get called by their real names. They are Buddy, or Shultzy or Boomer. My brother went for several years when he was quite young insisting on being called NumberSeven.
I feel like a meme shouldn't stop you from naming your daughter something if you like the actual name. I doubt it will still be a think 6-7 years in the future, and if it somehow is, she can always choose a nickname to be called by etc.
I wanted to name my daughter Helen, after my favorite Grandmother. Taking one look at that little face & there was no way "Helen" was gonna work. We named her Brittany Elizabeth (Helen's middle name) and it totally suits her. If we'd had another girl, we agreed we'd name her Normandy Helen. (Thank God we didn't).
Karen [kəˈren] NOUN 1.a member of an indigenous people of eastern Burma (Myanmar) and western Thailand. 2.the language of the Karen, probably Sino-Tibetan. ADJECTIVE 1.relating to the Karen or their language.
Load More Replies... Does anybody remember Germany had a similar issue with "Kevin" a few years ago?! I think the Kevins today are perfectly fine now as all the "cliché Kevins" who gave this name a personality have already grown out of that age to be decent people ^^
I had to deal with being made fun of because of my last name. I also had to deal with being called other names because people couldn't pronounce my name. A name should not be a joke and it needs to stop.
If Chad didn't go away and that's been since like the 80s, Karen is not going away much like real Karens.
Karen [kəˈren] NOUN 1.a member of an indigenous people of eastern Burma (Myanmar) and western Thailand. 2.the language of the Karen, probably Sino-Tibetan. ADJECTIVE 1.relating to the Karen or their language.
Load More Replies... People saying the meme will absolutely be gone in a few years are being a tad unrealistic. How old is "if I fits, I sits"? People still reference "All Your Base Are Belong to Us". The Karen thing might blow over, it might not. Who knows. Maybe it will disappear in two weeks, like a miracle, just in time for Easter. Oh. Wait. That's something else.....
This ugly, sexist Karen meme will probably have blown over before that little girl is grown.
Yes, that meme will be gone in a few years, but as a small child she MAY be bullied anyway until the Karen meme goes away. I'm 72 and I still hurt from being called names 60-65 years ago.
NTA! There are alot of names that are over 5-10yo that i think are a big NONO! GoodGuyGreg, ScumbagSteve, and then the worst pair; Chad and Karen!
Karen [kəˈren] NOUN 1.a member of an indigenous people of eastern Burma (Myanmar) and western Thailand. 2.the language of the Karen, probably Sino-Tibetan. ADJECTIVE 1.relating to the Karen or their language.
Load More Replies... Besides the negative connotation this name is getting politically and socially, the name Karen is very old and I personally don’t think it fits a newborn baby.
Why is this story up here? Name the child whatever you want and give it a rest. Stop overthinking...
He cares about his new daughter knowing the name is now a meme
Load More Replies... 
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