Vegan Woman Wonders “Am I A Jerk For Refusing To Host My In-Laws For Christmas?”
As if the general stress of the holidays isn’t enough, you might also have to think about hosting Christmas at your place. That can be a logistical nightmare. Especially if your in-laws and your partner’s entire extended family are coming over! Throw in some disagreements about what food to eat and you have a Tension Timebomb on your hands.
After a spot of family drama, redditor u/Awkward_Dot9908, a vegan, turned to the AITA online community for their advice. She wanted to hear their opinions on how she handled the question of who’s hosting Christmas dinner this year. She refused to be the host for her husband’s non-vegan family because she would have to prepare seafood for them.
Scroll down for the full story. Who do you think was in the wrong? If you’re vegan, have you ever prepared non-vegan food for someone else? Share your thoughts and opinions in the comments, Pandas.
Bored Panda has reached out to u/Awkward_Dot9908 via Reddit. We’ll update the article as soon as we hear back from her.
Having a ton of people over for Christmas can be a headache if your dietary preferences don’t match
Image credits: picjumbo.com (not the actual photo)
A woman asked the internet if she was a jerk for refusing to host her non-vegan in-laws over the holidays
Image credits: Conscious Design (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Awkward_Dot9908
The author of the post shared how her husband had slightly blindsided her. He didn’t ask her beforehand if she wanted to host his family for Christmas. The OP explained that her husband is “terrible” at cooking, so the stress of making everything for everyone would fall on her shoulders.
And even though the husband, who is also vegan, was fine handling seafood, his wife wasn’t. The row escalated and the redditor got blamed for “ruining Christmas”, as some of her husband’s relatives had already made travel plans to visit them. Meanwhile, the husband told his wife that she was being an “unreasonable vegan.”
Bored Panda has written about hosting dinners for people with various dietary restrictions before. It can be quite a challenge! Before inviting anyone over, make sure that you ask your guests if they’re vegan, vegetarian, or don’t eat gluten.
Then, make sure that you have at least a couple of things that they can eat. You don’t want your guests going hungry! However, it’s physically impossible to cater to absolutely everyone. For example, someone might be lactose intolerant or have nut allergies. Others might hate vegetables while some absolutely adore seafood. So you have to navigate people’s allergies (a priority!) and preferences.
In the midst of all of this culinary chaos, it’s essential that you remember why you’re doing all of this. The point of a dinner party is to have an enjoyable evening with some great people, whether they’re your close friends or someone you’d like to get to know better. If you feel like there are far too many preferences and dietary restrictions to keep track of, there’s actually a very simple solution—go to a restaurant.
Otherwise, if you’re set on hosting but you’re catering to a larger number of people, let everyone know what you’ll be making up front. Subtly suggest that they’re free to bring what they like if they have niche preferences or diets. You might be the host, but it doesn’t mean that you’re barred from enjoying yourself as well. You shouldn’t be stuck in the kitchen all day long!
Most people supported the author of the post. Here are their thoughts on the situation
Not buying the "he's a bad cook" and nor should she. If he invites his whole family over, regardless of what the food is, he can cook. If he can read, he can cook. If it's not up to "standard" tough. My suggestion would be for him to get practicing and perhaps ask some friends for tips.
Yes and YouTube is full of recipe videos that walk you through it step by step. I'm sure he could find a video that can guide him through it.
There's things called #COOKCBOOKS
But that will stink up her house! I hate the smell of food after i have finished eating. It's incentive to get the table cleared and dishes washed quickly. Even then some food odors linger for hours and sometimes days.
Seafood is pretty easy to cook in any case. It's not overcooking it that can be the tricky part.
Or they could both advise the guests that s they do not eat or cook seafood they would like some volunteers to come early and prepare that and any other meat part of the feast. Fine it might be their turn to host but they never eat the meat and seafood offerings wherever they attend so that should make it clear to all their guests that they are not going to be able to cook any of it.
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I agree ....he should be cooking. ..... But not just him. .........she should be cooking too..........I believe all this Vegan c**p is a loaded pain in the a*s ...." I don't even want to touch anything meat related"....sounds like a mental health problem, attention seeking, or just plain old like the idea of being " different" from everyone else and wanting those accolades, and not a dietary one...........just sounds weak...........you can touch and cook meat, and not eat it if you desire..........sounds weak............if this was 150 yrs or more ago, you would have been abandoned in the forest as a witch or at least as a non provider.........
He should cook then. Not her.
Not just cook, but wash the dishes after as well. And get the house guest-ready if necessary beforehand. He offered to host, and he should do ALL the tasks associated with being a host, rather than just presuming OP will do it all.
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The Vegan way of life , IS AN Alternative, Restrictive, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE NORMAL STANDARDS...........most people don't give a D@¥π. You are just being difficult and a pain in the a&&...........Just cook food that 99.9% of most humans will not only eat, but actually have Real Protein and is enjoyable.........Vegan is just a way of saying let's all be weaker physically and starve our brain of necessary proteins.......... If this was the way of our ancestors........your tribe would be dead or conquered ...,.......you would just be too weak............... Moral of the story........they are right.......you should learn how to cook meat........stop being so weak
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I mean .......you can't even touch me at or cook it............. That tells me everything. Just weak minded ....get over it, your the odd one not them........and sometimes you make compromises........just cook the damn dinner and sop being a winey pain in the a*s Vegan..................that's why nobody likes Vegans.....WAY TOO MUCH OF A PAIN IN THE A*S
Vegans are highly judgemental, make everything difficult, opinionated, pain in the a*s people.............just shut up........very few people think like you do.........
Seems like there could have been a compromise instead of cancelling the whole thing. 1) he could have cooked the main dish. 2) someone else in the family could have cooked it, travelling a day early if necessary. 3) get the meat dishes catered. I'm also surprised you didn't have a conversation about this years ago. Those previous years when OP declined to host, she should have had a discussion with her spouse to make her boundaries clear. If she did that, then he's an even bigger AH for ignoring her boundary.
Not buying the "he's a bad cook" and nor should she. If he invites his whole family over, regardless of what the food is, he can cook. If he can read, he can cook. If it's not up to "standard" tough. My suggestion would be for him to get practicing and perhaps ask some friends for tips.
Yes and YouTube is full of recipe videos that walk you through it step by step. I'm sure he could find a video that can guide him through it.
There's things called #COOKCBOOKS
But that will stink up her house! I hate the smell of food after i have finished eating. It's incentive to get the table cleared and dishes washed quickly. Even then some food odors linger for hours and sometimes days.
Seafood is pretty easy to cook in any case. It's not overcooking it that can be the tricky part.
Or they could both advise the guests that s they do not eat or cook seafood they would like some volunteers to come early and prepare that and any other meat part of the feast. Fine it might be their turn to host but they never eat the meat and seafood offerings wherever they attend so that should make it clear to all their guests that they are not going to be able to cook any of it.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I agree ....he should be cooking. ..... But not just him. .........she should be cooking too..........I believe all this Vegan c**p is a loaded pain in the a*s ...." I don't even want to touch anything meat related"....sounds like a mental health problem, attention seeking, or just plain old like the idea of being " different" from everyone else and wanting those accolades, and not a dietary one...........just sounds weak...........you can touch and cook meat, and not eat it if you desire..........sounds weak............if this was 150 yrs or more ago, you would have been abandoned in the forest as a witch or at least as a non provider.........
He should cook then. Not her.
Not just cook, but wash the dishes after as well. And get the house guest-ready if necessary beforehand. He offered to host, and he should do ALL the tasks associated with being a host, rather than just presuming OP will do it all.
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
The Vegan way of life , IS AN Alternative, Restrictive, COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FROM THE NORMAL STANDARDS...........most people don't give a D@¥π. You are just being difficult and a pain in the a&&...........Just cook food that 99.9% of most humans will not only eat, but actually have Real Protein and is enjoyable.........Vegan is just a way of saying let's all be weaker physically and starve our brain of necessary proteins.......... If this was the way of our ancestors........your tribe would be dead or conquered ...,.......you would just be too weak............... Moral of the story........they are right.......you should learn how to cook meat........stop being so weak
This comment is hidden. Click here to view.
I mean .......you can't even touch me at or cook it............. That tells me everything. Just weak minded ....get over it, your the odd one not them........and sometimes you make compromises........just cook the damn dinner and sop being a winey pain in the a*s Vegan..................that's why nobody likes Vegans.....WAY TOO MUCH OF A PAIN IN THE A*S
Vegans are highly judgemental, make everything difficult, opinionated, pain in the a*s people.............just shut up........very few people think like you do.........
Seems like there could have been a compromise instead of cancelling the whole thing. 1) he could have cooked the main dish. 2) someone else in the family could have cooked it, travelling a day early if necessary. 3) get the meat dishes catered. I'm also surprised you didn't have a conversation about this years ago. Those previous years when OP declined to host, she should have had a discussion with her spouse to make her boundaries clear. If she did that, then he's an even bigger AH for ignoring her boundary.