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“AITA For Refusing To Go Home When My Husband Told Me To?”
88points
1.2K
People, Relationships1 month ago

“AITA For Refusing To Go Home When My Husband Told Me To?”

Being in an unhealthy relationship sucks, but it sucks even more if you’ve just started to learn about your partner’s “red flags.”

You could be those high school sweethearts that were never apart, or perhaps you just tied the knot a couple of years ago – the truth is, no one is protected from toxic relationships, whether you’ve been together for what seems like an eternity or not.

It so happens that people change, and frankly, the majority of the time, it’s not for the better. People get triggered by various life events, or they’re simply letting their true inner self out – whatever the reasoning might be, sometimes, it’s in your best interest to ask yourself whether it’s worth enduring it.

More info: Reddit

Sometimes your loved ones truly baffle you with their narcissistic behavior

Image credits: Pedro Ribeiro Simeos (not the actual image)

“AITA for refusing to go home when my husband told me to?” – this woman turned to Reddit for some unbiased opinions and, perhaps to find out whether she’s a jerk for not believing in her husband’s nausea. The post has managed to receive over 18K upvotes and 1.4K worth of comments discussing this uneasy situation.

Woman wonders if she’s the bad guy for refusing to leave her sister’s 18th birthday party after her husband claimed that he was nauseous

Image credits: u/Backseat-View5033

The author began her post by sharing that she and her husband have been married for a couple of years.

The thing is, it seems that the 33-year-old isn’t a big fan of social gatherings and has developed a habit of getting out of things while also dragging the OP along with him; it could be because he gets bored or he simply sees someone that he’s not fond of.

The woman claims that although he doesn’t say it, he often pretends to get sick and forces her to go home with him – however, as soon as they get home, he immediately goes back to normal.

Image credits: Dark Dwarf (not the actual image)

Eventually, the man cracked and admitted that it’s indeed a “strategy” that he uses to get out of boring events, but it was happening way too often and the woman kept falling for it.

Naturally, it affected her relationship with her family and friends; besides, the woman told him many times that if he didn’t feel comfortable at an event, he could go home by himself without having to trick her into leaving with him.

Image credits: u/Backseat-View5033

The man argued, saying that he needed her to leave with him because people would ask how he could drive while sick, yet the woman said that wasn’t her problem and that the next time it’d happen, she wouldn’t play along.

Fast forward to another gathering, this time it was the OP’s sister’s party. It was a huge event since she’s the youngest one in the family, and prior to it, Tom (the husband) said that he couldn’t go because he was “feeling sick” – however, before heading off, he changed his mind and got dressed.

As expected, about 15 minutes in, Tom chimes in saying that he feels nauseous, begging the woman to go home with him. The author assumed that he just got bored and was pretending to be sick once again.

Image credits: u/Backseat-View5033

The OP told him that he needed to stop with the games, yet the husband swore that he was sick.

Seconds later, after everyone sat down to have dinner, the man dropped down and started throwing up. Of course, everyone got up to check on him, but he didn’t waste his time and lashed out at the OP saying things like: “she knew I was sick, but she wouldn’t believe me.”

Image credits: u/Backseat-View5033

Image credits: Alex Ford (not the actual image)

The woman then got berated by the whole family; they called her neglectful and claimed that she has no empathy because who would refuse to listen when their partner tells them that they’re feeling a bit odd?

What do you think about this post? Do you believe that the author was wrong for not listening to her husband?

Members of this online community shared their thoughts regarding the situation

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Remi
Community Member
1 month ago

Red flag 1. Not allowing you to stay in social gatherings alone. Red flag 2. Lying as a strategy. Red flag 3. Public shaming by making you seem uncaring and cold in front of your family. I bet there are enough red flags on him to shame a Soviet parade if you look closer. I'm somewhat introverted, but I would never play these kinds of games about it. If I'm not up to going to a family thing or something, I just say so. And if I run out of being social juice in the middle, I just tell people I need some peace and quiet to recharge. I'd say he's trying to isolate you so he can own you.

LEGOPernille
Community Member
1 month ago

Conclusion. He is a narcissist and he will allways be.... RUNNNN

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LongCoolWomanInABlackDress
Community Member
1 month ago

I agree with one of the comments above: some people can puke on command. It would not surprise me if he was one of them and did it to make her feel bad and shame her in front of her family. I hope that she was able to talk to her family and tell them that she didn't believe him due to his previous behaviour

Linnea
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Could've also taken something (like ipecac) to induce vomiting. I also think he purposely made himself sick, but one thing I disagree with is the apparent consensus that "an adult can make it to the bathroom or outside." Anyone who thinks this has never been really sick. You absolutely cannot always make it to the toilet. Has happened to me many times.

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Iifa A.
Community Member
1 month ago

Get a divorce, this is unacceptable behaviour!. I go alone if my other half isn't interested and nobody has said a bad word. I'm myself introverted and get physically sick if I have to pretend to be social. But this is childish, completely disturbing, and I'd divorce him now. Imagine if you have kids or pets, everytime he feels it's too much to care or feed them just drops on his knees sick and leaves you embarrassed and humiliated. Disgusting behaviour from husband, just don't go if you're not interested and so hateful towards your wives family you can't be an adult and auck it up. Even more concerning is the inability to let you go alone, he could have stayed in bed sick, he didn't need to get dressed last minute and to join you. This seems like he came to make sure you behaved, this is controlling. I often stay home when feeling sick, and I don't expect my.man to stop his plans to moan with me at home over my sickness

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Remi
Community Member
1 month ago

Red flag 1. Not allowing you to stay in social gatherings alone. Red flag 2. Lying as a strategy. Red flag 3. Public shaming by making you seem uncaring and cold in front of your family. I bet there are enough red flags on him to shame a Soviet parade if you look closer. I'm somewhat introverted, but I would never play these kinds of games about it. If I'm not up to going to a family thing or something, I just say so. And if I run out of being social juice in the middle, I just tell people I need some peace and quiet to recharge. I'd say he's trying to isolate you so he can own you.

LEGOPernille
Community Member
1 month ago

Conclusion. He is a narcissist and he will allways be.... RUNNNN

Load More Replies...
LongCoolWomanInABlackDress
Community Member
1 month ago

I agree with one of the comments above: some people can puke on command. It would not surprise me if he was one of them and did it to make her feel bad and shame her in front of her family. I hope that she was able to talk to her family and tell them that she didn't believe him due to his previous behaviour

Linnea
Community Member
1 month ago (edited)

Could've also taken something (like ipecac) to induce vomiting. I also think he purposely made himself sick, but one thing I disagree with is the apparent consensus that "an adult can make it to the bathroom or outside." Anyone who thinks this has never been really sick. You absolutely cannot always make it to the toilet. Has happened to me many times.

Load More Replies...
Iifa A.
Community Member
1 month ago

Get a divorce, this is unacceptable behaviour!. I go alone if my other half isn't interested and nobody has said a bad word. I'm myself introverted and get physically sick if I have to pretend to be social. But this is childish, completely disturbing, and I'd divorce him now. Imagine if you have kids or pets, everytime he feels it's too much to care or feed them just drops on his knees sick and leaves you embarrassed and humiliated. Disgusting behaviour from husband, just don't go if you're not interested and so hateful towards your wives family you can't be an adult and auck it up. Even more concerning is the inability to let you go alone, he could have stayed in bed sick, he didn't need to get dressed last minute and to join you. This seems like he came to make sure you behaved, this is controlling. I often stay home when feeling sick, and I don't expect my.man to stop his plans to moan with me at home over my sickness

Load More Comments
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