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Childfree Uncle Says Vacation Means Vacation, Siblings Lose It When He Won’t Babysit All Day
Vacationing is often equivalent to sunshine, sand, and a few good laughs. However, for childfree adults, it can be tough to navigate, because one moment you’re sipping your coffee on the porch, the next you’re being subtly, and sometimes not-so-subtly, drafted into unpaid childcare duties.
Today’s Original Poster’s (OP) experience is a prime example. Looking forward to a laid-back Florida vacation with family, he was asked to spend an entire day babysitting his nieces and nephews. When he said no, he was met with accusations from his siblings and was left wondering if he was just being mean.
More info: Reddit
RELATED:
Many people assume that just because someone doesn’t have children, they are automatically available to pick up childcare or other responsibilities
Image credits: EyeEm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The author’s family usually went to Florida for vacation, including his siblings and their families
Image credits: Agitated-Major6028
Image credits: syda_productions / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Midweek, his sister scheduled a “special couples day” during the vacation and then asked him to watch all the children
Image credits: Agitated-Major6028
Image credits: Getty Images / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
He firmly refused, explaining that he didn’t enjoy babysitting and would like to spend his vacation freely, but his sister couldn’t understand it since he had “no plans”
Image credits: Agitated-Major6028
She eventually hung up on him when he kept refusing but ended up blowing up his phone with texts to change his mind alongside their brother
The OP noted that every other year, his family would escape to their small Florida vacation house. This year, they were all going to be there including his siblings and their families. He was childfree and so ready to enjoy the week without parental duties.
However, he received a call from his siter who informed him that on one day during the vacation, she and their brother had planned a special couples day on the water, followed by dinner at a fancy restaurant with their respective spouses. She then asked if the OP could watch all their kids children for the entire day to which he immediately declined.
Initially, his sister thought he was joking until she saw how serious he was about not wanting to look after their kids while they went on this special couples day. Naturally, the refusal didn’t go over smoothly and she pressed for reasons. She argued that since the OP had no plans for that day, there was no excuse.
He stood his ground, explaining that he was simply not a “kid person” and that he just wanted to enjoy the time by himself. Livid, his sister hung up on him after he still refused to budge. Shortly after the call, his sister had told the brother and they both started texting him to change his mind.
Image credits: user18526052 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
In the context of the OP’s story, the situation highlights just how important setting boundaries can be. According to Mind Matters, saying no doesn’t require giving a reason, and having free time doesn’t automatically make someone responsible for others.
Also, when someone pressures you to justify your refusal, it can reveal an imbalance of control in the relationship, signaling that boundaries aren’t being respected. In fact, this pressure is particularly common for childfree adults. BBC notes that they are often assumed to be “on call” for family support simply because they don’t have children of their own.
Furthermore, cultural norms frequently tie caregiving responsibilities to family and reproductive roles, creating the expectation that childfree individuals have more availability. This can lead to unspoken pressure to step in, even when it’s inconvenient or unwanted which was exactly the dynamic the brother experienced on this vacation.
Leadership coach David Tian therefore underscores the importance of standing firm in these situations. He emphasizes that saying no is a complete sentence and does not require justification, allowing individuals to live without being guilted or manipulated. Recognizing that free time is personal, he points out, protects one’s priorities, well-being, and mental health.
Netizens sided strongly with the OP, emphasizing that he has every right to enjoy his vacation without being coerced into childcare. They felt the “couples day” was unfair and exclusionary, and even suggested alternative solutions for the parents, like swapping days to watch each other’s kids or hiring a babysitter.
What would you do if you were in the OP’s shoes? Would you say yes to babysitting or stick to your plans? We would love to know your thoughts!
Netizens applauded the author for standing his ground, highlighting that the situation could make the trip stressful and uncomfortable for him
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What do you think ?
Indi 1 week ago
It's totally fine to ask the brother if he can sit with kids. It's also totally inappropriate to insists and get upset when he says no. They already spent money on vacation, they can spend a bit more and get a real babysitter. Considering that there are small kids, it's better to have a professional looking after them anyway.
Catherine Kane 5 days ago
I think it's understandable to get upset- feelings are feelings. what's inappropriate is calling him names or trying to guilt him into picking up their parental responsibilities
Load More Replies...
FreeTheUnicorn 1 week ago
Weird they are having an adult siblings day and not inviting OP.. They can find a paid activity for the kids for the day or take turns watching the kids and returning to their activity. If I were OP I'd be looking for something else to do because clearly the siblings don't want him around except for babysitting.
Jack 1 week ago
Yeah, I think he should skip these family vacations if Grandma and Grandpa aren't there to babysit.
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 1 week ago (edited)
And stuff them with junk food, especially sugary treats, until their stomachs get upset—-timed perfectly for when the parents get home, at which time I leave to go have my own fun and don’t come home until late. (You eff me like that, and I will eff you back worse.)
Load More Replies...
Lee Gilliland 1 week ago
I can see an adults-only day, but a child-free day because somebody else isn't? No.
Jenna T 1 week ago
Notice how the child-free adult wasn't invited to Adult Day?
Load More Replies... Jack 1 week ago (edited)
I don't get trying to guilt/shame people without kids into being a babysitter. This person doesn't have kids, so why would they make an acceptable parent for the day? What, because you're related? Doesn't the fact that they DON'T want to do it make a difference? It should, people tend to not try as hard at things they don't want to do. People will want background checks and references, but then just hand the baby to a random relative like "save me from baby!"
Yu Pan 1 week ago (edited)
Agreed. We babysit nieces and nephews because we want to, not because my siblings guilt us into it. In fact, my siblings, while perfectly happy to have time off, often felt guilty of us watching the kids and tried their best not to ask us to babysit.
Load More Replies...
Janelle Collard 1 week ago
OP is absolutely NTA for refusing to be the unpaid babysitter for the *whole* day! (Or for any amount to time, really.) Hope he stops doing vacays with the the sibs who think he *needs* to be their babysitter.
Mike F 1 week ago
The OP deleted his account. The post is at least 3 days old.
Load More Replies... Sarah 1 week ago
Why weren’t you invited to this day out and dinner? That’s offensive. Crack open a champagne /rose for breakfast.. ur on your holidays, and see how quick they want you to babysit. The utter cheek of them. Just because your ‘re single? They didn’t even consider you for joining them for a day out, using u as free childcare
Tabitha 1 week ago
Mimosas, anyone? How about breaking out the edibles or rolling a joint and smoking it instead? Same effect, but no hangover. Also, take a different week at the cabin—-like a week when the kids are all in school. September’s good. Still in-season, or more accurately the “shoulder season”, so it’s still warm (including the water, if the cabin is at the shore or by a lake), most of the summer activities may be winding down but haven’t closed down yet, and no entitled families shoving you out of the way to hog all the fun stuff because they have kids and you don’t. F**k that noise.
Load More Replies...
Tabitha 1 week ago (edited)
That was my thought too. Go by yourself for a different week, and let the married siblings figure out the babysitting issue for themselves. Like adults with children have always done. Pretty sure there’s a professional babysitting service, or maybe just a couple trustworthy local kids who make decent summer money by offering babysitting services for tourists. OR they can take their “grownup” vacations when the kids are away at summer camp. Why TF do you think someone in the US, where school kids get the entire three months of summer off, came up with the idea of summer camp—-and I don’t mean day camp—-in the first place? (Yes, I know about getting poor city kids out in nature, but I am willing to wager that at some point middle and upper SES parents decided having their kids hanging around the house all d****d day for the three hottest months of the year was too much and they needed a week or two or four off, so they started sending their kids to camp too, regardless of of whether they lived in the city, the burbs, or the country.)
Load More Replies...
Jenna T 1 week ago
They being cheapskates. Three kids for about 12 hours would be at least $200. Even teenagers aren't stupid - thry know what stuff costs.
Load More Replies...
Alexandra 1 week ago
It doesn't matter what OP does on his day off: that's no one's business but his own. Your kids are yours and if someone declines to babysit, you accept that and try to find someone else, paid or otherwise. I swear, people with kids can be so entitled! As if having kids is a badge of honour or proof of maturity. Maybe it's the other way around: maybe NOT having kids shows you are a responsible person and not selfish.
Kyle Reese 1 week ago
God the undying hatred I have for kids. I wish it were illegal to have them.
Nadine Strick 1 week ago
I have two grown sons. When they were little, I often got to watch other couples' kids while I watched mine on vacation. I didn't mind, because I didn't want anyone watching my kids who didn't offer. I never wanted anyone to watch my kids with less than 100% enthusiasm. My kids mean more to me than anything else in the world. I did manage to get some time with friends or on my own occasionally with careful planning and babysitters I paid and trading with my husband, but not on rare extended family vacations.
Siege Rook 1 week ago (edited)
As a parent of two... it's one thing to ASK, another thing entirely to demand and expect. And honestly, it wasn't even okay to ask! They didn't think to include him at, just because he isn't married with kids? W-T-F. OF COURSE a vacation with kids isn't really a vacation - that's part of what you signed up for when you had them, you nitwit. Your children don't become your siblings' problem just because they exist and don't have children of their own. If you want a child-free day, then PAY someone who is both qualified and *willing* to look after them for the day. They could have had an "adult-day" where they send the kids off to some play place that will look after them for a few hours, but no, it had to be "couples". Seriously, eff them.
adobe blue 1 week ago
No one mentioned the pay or if there is any. OP can always say my going rate is 20.00 per hour per couple. For an all-day trip, that would be $160.00 each. If he could get that, it might be worth it but I guarantee the siblings will say "No, we can't pay that (or anything) making this even more of an insult.
Robin Roper 1 week ago
"No" is a complete sentence. "No, I don't want to" is also a complete sentence. In most places you can find professional babysitting services. If these entitled siblings want an adult day, then they can pay for it. I think OP should say "Every day for me is adult day and I don't plan to change that."
Roberta Surprenant 1 week ago
Gee, last version I saw the family was going to europe and it was the sister expected to watch kids. I hate AI slop.
Indi 1 week ago
It's totally fine to ask the brother if he can sit with kids. It's also totally inappropriate to insists and get upset when he says no. They already spent money on vacation, they can spend a bit more and get a real babysitter. Considering that there are small kids, it's better to have a professional looking after them anyway.
Catherine Kane 5 days ago
I think it's understandable to get upset- feelings are feelings. what's inappropriate is calling him names or trying to guilt him into picking up their parental responsibilities
Load More Replies... FreeTheUnicorn 1 week ago
Weird they are having an adult siblings day and not inviting OP.. They can find a paid activity for the kids for the day or take turns watching the kids and returning to their activity. If I were OP I'd be looking for something else to do because clearly the siblings don't want him around except for babysitting.
Jack 1 week ago
Yeah, I think he should skip these family vacations if Grandma and Grandpa aren't there to babysit.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 week ago (edited)
And stuff them with junk food, especially sugary treats, until their stomachs get upset—-timed perfectly for when the parents get home, at which time I leave to go have my own fun and don’t come home until late. (You eff me like that, and I will eff you back worse.)
Load More Replies... Lee Gilliland 1 week ago
I can see an adults-only day, but a child-free day because somebody else isn't? No.
Jenna T 1 week ago
Notice how the child-free adult wasn't invited to Adult Day?
Load More Replies... Jack 1 week ago (edited)
I don't get trying to guilt/shame people without kids into being a babysitter. This person doesn't have kids, so why would they make an acceptable parent for the day? What, because you're related? Doesn't the fact that they DON'T want to do it make a difference? It should, people tend to not try as hard at things they don't want to do. People will want background checks and references, but then just hand the baby to a random relative like "save me from baby!"
Yu Pan 1 week ago (edited)
Agreed. We babysit nieces and nephews because we want to, not because my siblings guilt us into it. In fact, my siblings, while perfectly happy to have time off, often felt guilty of us watching the kids and tried their best not to ask us to babysit.
Load More Replies... Janelle Collard 1 week ago
OP is absolutely NTA for refusing to be the unpaid babysitter for the *whole* day! (Or for any amount to time, really.) Hope he stops doing vacays with the the sibs who think he *needs* to be their babysitter.
Mike F 1 week ago
The OP deleted his account. The post is at least 3 days old.
Load More Replies... Sarah 1 week ago
Why weren’t you invited to this day out and dinner? That’s offensive. Crack open a champagne /rose for breakfast.. ur on your holidays, and see how quick they want you to babysit. The utter cheek of them. Just because your ‘re single? They didn’t even consider you for joining them for a day out, using u as free childcare
Tabitha 1 week ago
Mimosas, anyone? How about breaking out the edibles or rolling a joint and smoking it instead? Same effect, but no hangover. Also, take a different week at the cabin—-like a week when the kids are all in school. September’s good. Still in-season, or more accurately the “shoulder season”, so it’s still warm (including the water, if the cabin is at the shore or by a lake), most of the summer activities may be winding down but haven’t closed down yet, and no entitled families shoving you out of the way to hog all the fun stuff because they have kids and you don’t. F**k that noise.
Load More Replies... Tabitha 1 week ago (edited)
That was my thought too. Go by yourself for a different week, and let the married siblings figure out the babysitting issue for themselves. Like adults with children have always done. Pretty sure there’s a professional babysitting service, or maybe just a couple trustworthy local kids who make decent summer money by offering babysitting services for tourists. OR they can take their “grownup” vacations when the kids are away at summer camp. Why TF do you think someone in the US, where school kids get the entire three months of summer off, came up with the idea of summer camp—-and I don’t mean day camp—-in the first place? (Yes, I know about getting poor city kids out in nature, but I am willing to wager that at some point middle and upper SES parents decided having their kids hanging around the house all d****d day for the three hottest months of the year was too much and they needed a week or two or four off, so they started sending their kids to camp too, regardless of of whether they lived in the city, the burbs, or the country.)
Load More Replies... Jenna T 1 week ago
They being cheapskates. Three kids for about 12 hours would be at least $200. Even teenagers aren't stupid - thry know what stuff costs.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 1 week ago
It doesn't matter what OP does on his day off: that's no one's business but his own. Your kids are yours and if someone declines to babysit, you accept that and try to find someone else, paid or otherwise. I swear, people with kids can be so entitled! As if having kids is a badge of honour or proof of maturity. Maybe it's the other way around: maybe NOT having kids shows you are a responsible person and not selfish.
Kyle Reese 1 week ago
God the undying hatred I have for kids. I wish it were illegal to have them.
Nadine Strick 1 week ago
I have two grown sons. When they were little, I often got to watch other couples' kids while I watched mine on vacation. I didn't mind, because I didn't want anyone watching my kids who didn't offer. I never wanted anyone to watch my kids with less than 100% enthusiasm. My kids mean more to me than anything else in the world. I did manage to get some time with friends or on my own occasionally with careful planning and babysitters I paid and trading with my husband, but not on rare extended family vacations.
Siege Rook 1 week ago (edited)
As a parent of two... it's one thing to ASK, another thing entirely to demand and expect. And honestly, it wasn't even okay to ask! They didn't think to include him at, just because he isn't married with kids? W-T-F. OF COURSE a vacation with kids isn't really a vacation - that's part of what you signed up for when you had them, you nitwit. Your children don't become your siblings' problem just because they exist and don't have children of their own. If you want a child-free day, then PAY someone who is both qualified and *willing* to look after them for the day. They could have had an "adult-day" where they send the kids off to some play place that will look after them for a few hours, but no, it had to be "couples". Seriously, eff them.
adobe blue 1 week ago
No one mentioned the pay or if there is any. OP can always say my going rate is 20.00 per hour per couple. For an all-day trip, that would be $160.00 each. If he could get that, it might be worth it but I guarantee the siblings will say "No, we can't pay that (or anything) making this even more of an insult.
Robin Roper 1 week ago
"No" is a complete sentence. "No, I don't want to" is also a complete sentence. In most places you can find professional babysitting services. If these entitled siblings want an adult day, then they can pay for it. I think OP should say "Every day for me is adult day and I don't plan to change that."
Roberta Surprenant 1 week ago
Gee, last version I saw the family was going to europe and it was the sister expected to watch kids. I hate AI slop.
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