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Guy Plans To Pop The Question During A Long-Awaited Vacation, Mother Throws A Tantrum Because He Refused To Take Her
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Guy Plans To Pop The Question During A Long-Awaited Vacation, Mother Throws A Tantrum Because He Refused To Take Her

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The majority of us grew up believing that if a person is within your family circle, you need to accept them as they are.

They could be emotionally and/or physically abusive, you might feel controlled, or perhaps communicating with them is simply causing you emotional distress –whatever it might be, forget the “you don’t choose your family” malarkey because justifying someone’s toxic behavior by kinship is totally not worth it.

Moreover, many folks don’t realize the effects of their family environment until they are well into adulthood, purely because they treat this kind of relationship as the “norm.”

A dysfunctional family dynamic can bring a lot of unnecessary stress into people’s lives, meaning that it would be in your best interest to cut communication – however, not everybody is willing to go through this soul-crushing process.

More info: Reddit

Sometimes family members don’t realize that they’re overstepping the boundaries

Image source: filiadragongurl (not the actual photo)

AITA for refusing to take my mom on vacation with me and my girlfriend whom I’m planning on proposing to?” – this netizen turned to one of Reddit’s communities to seek advice from its members and to find out if he’s indeed a jerk for refusing to take his mother on vacation where he’s planning to pop the question to his partner. The post has managed to receive over 5K upvotes and 757 comments discussing the situation.

This guy wonders if he’s a jerk for refusing to take his mother on vacation where he’s planning to propose to his girlfriend

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Image source: LittleNegotiation561

The author began his story by revealing that he’s been planning to go on vacation to a well-known spot with his significant other ever since they started dating in senior year. The man’s been saving up for years in the hopes of giving him and his girlfriend the best experience possible.

Image source: LittleNegotiation561

The OP finally acquired enough funds to book the trip, and, after some thinking, he also decided that he wanted to propose. He went out and got his soon-to-be fiancée a ring with her birthstone and, of course, some diamonds.

The man put the ring on his dresser, and later saw his mother wearing it. According to the OP, she thought it was a gift, as the ring’s birthstone matched hers.

Naturally, the author took the ring back and explained the whole situation. The woman apologized and said that she was very happy for the OP and his girlfriend. She then started wondering about all the details, asking him for the specific date so she could clear her calendar.

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Image source: LittleNegotiation561

After sharing the details of the plan with his mother, the author let the situation go – however, a couple of days ago, the woman started wondering whether he’d booked the trip yet, asking when the plane was leaving and what hotel they were staying at.

The OP unveiled the specifics, and the woman asked if he’d booked her an extra room; he said no and wondered why she would think that he would have. The mother explained that because it was also her birthday month and an important moment, she wanted to be present.

An argument ensued, ending with the woman telling the OP that he didn’t appreciate her, didn’t love her, and that overall, he was just a terrible son.

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Image source: LittleNegotiation561

Image source: Sreejith Kulamgarath (not the actual photo)

The woman ended up calling the author’s aunts, one of whom later posted something concerning sons hating their mothers on her social media, where the OP’s mom also commented.

The author is pretty stressed about the whole situation, and although he understands why his mother is so eager to be there, he also just wants to spend time alone with his girlfriend.

Fellow Reddit users shared their thoughts and opinions

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shannonkreider avatar
Notyomama
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is with these nasty mothers?? Just so pathetic and yucky.

raymond-bille avatar
Emma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not just moms but fathers too. My own father in law is a nightmare.

Load More Replies...
zak_1 avatar
zak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't read the story, I'm just bothered about the main photo where every fingernail is a different length.

faithhurst-bilinski avatar
Bi-Polar Express
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am very close with my kids. I was not there for either of their proposals and I never once considered I should have been.

the_true_opifex avatar
Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief, if I accidentally (and I stress ACCIDENTALLY, because I do NOT go through other people's stuff!) found a piece of jewellery and assumed it was a present for me, I would leave it right where it was and wait around hopefully to see what happens when my birthday/Christmas comes around. And that's not even half the utterly selfish, rude and creepy s**t this woman got up to. Run in the opposite direction, FAST.

janbowyer avatar
Jan Bowyer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother is a liar and obviously does not have her son's best interests at heart. If he does not set boundaries and stick to them NOW, the girlfriend might just walk. I know I would. The shape of that things to come.

Load More Replies...
storm_and_baby avatar
Lisa T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Red flag that your mother was wearing the ring and “presumed it was for her”. Also, engagements are a special moment between the couple, and they will also want to have their vacation on their own, too. The engagement party and the wedding are when others can celebrate with them

skidog911 avatar
Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the story of Oedipus Rex, you may have heard about his odd complex. His name appears in Freud's index, 'cause he looooved his mother. (Bonus points if you know the tune and sang it, either in your head or out loud.)

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tom Lehrer - brilliant! I pretty much growled out that last line.

Load More Replies...
iblewsheep avatar
iblewsheep
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most people have no problem understanding someone minimizing or completely eliminating contact with a parent or other family member when it involve regular physical, sexual or extreme emotional abuse, but fail to understand that it does not need to be anywhere near that extreme to be toxic enough to warrant distancing oneself from them. If you regularly feel disregarded, disrespected, and/or dismissed, etc. that's enough. You can try expressing how you feel, but chances are that will not go well.

huladancer_2004 avatar
Terri Atterbury
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't be surprised when your mom shows up to your wedding in a white bridal-type dress!

pennylost avatar
Penny Lost
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next thing you know, she'll be throwing a fit that she doesn't get to go on their honeymoon with them. With mothers like that there is only one piece of advice: run, Neo, run.

debndean241 avatar
Some guy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And, like Frankenstein's monster, she'll threaten to "be with [them] on [their] wedding night."

Load More Replies...
janbowyer avatar
Jan Bowyer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother seems jealous of the relationship with the girlfriend. I'd say her next step is to sabotage the relationship so (she thinks) she can get rid of the girlfriend. This toxic relationship is pure Howard Wolowitz.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I might return the ring and get a simple one to exchange for the one the girl chooses for herself, as she will be wearing it 'forever' , which eliminates the possibility of "well I wore it first' from Mum. (yeah creepy). Many jewelry stores offer that option, as the woman has her own taste and for some guys, relieves them of the pressure of 'what would she like?'.... the proviso, he picks the size of the stone(s), she picks the setting. That's how my hubby did it.

gemmelltastic avatar
Got Myself 4 Pandas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is she going through her adult son's drawers? Even if she did think he bought her a birthday gift why would she just take it instead of waiting to be given it? Why would she think either he or his girlfriend would want her there for a proposal? Why would she think that what she wants even matters in such a scenario? There's so much wrong with this whole situation and that woman needs to get into her head she isn't the main character in everyone's life

katejones_1 avatar
Kate Jones
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

seriously wth is with these crazy mothers? first off, even if the ring was a gift to her....do you go and take something that's supposed to be a gift for you? no you wait until it's given to you. Second, why does she need to go on a romantic vacation with you? I swear there's a weird thing that happens with single mothers where they treat their sons like their husbands and then get all hurt when the son ends up giving affection to another woman--they act like he's cheating on them. Like...he's not your boyfriend, lady! This poor girl marrying into this had better get some guidelines clear right out the gate. It's going to get worse when kids become involved if they don't. At least it sounds like the son is trying to have a separation. But the fact he needs to ask if he's the bad guy here makes me a little worried.

debndean241 avatar
Some guy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's thinking along the right lines, which at this point is the most important thing. Remember, he's a 21-year-old kid dealing with this c**p. I can't blame him for wanting some feedback at least.

Load More Replies...
mybeautifulparanoiax avatar
toxxic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people asking why she would think the ring was for her, not enough asking why tf she just took the ring even if she thought it would be for her

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does she think she has the right to be in his room without his permission? It’s HIS room. She should not be going in without asking him first. Secondly, thinking she has the right to go through his things? Absolutely not. Maybe he should have turned around and just gone into her room and go through her stuff. Geez mom, how do you like that? He’d probably be told he has no business doing that. She may be his mom, but that doesn’t mean she’s a necessarily healthy person to have in your life. Sometimes you have to cut and run. CUT AND RUN. If he doesn’t, his marriage will not end well before it starts. She will purposely keep putting a wedge in there until his wife can’t stand it and here comes the ultimatum. This can be avoided by cutting mom completely, and forever, out of his life.

ericgibbs avatar
Eric G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I stopped talking for the most part to my mom about 3 years ago and I couldn't be happier. She was toxic and everything was always about her. Even when you did something nice, there was always a massive complaint. Just because they're your parents doesn't mean you have to put up with their toxicity

anb1388 avatar
Allison B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. The mom is creepy and weird. If he doesn't get away from her if he and his girlfriend do get married gf is going to be posting on JNMIL very soon after.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This mother is weird. I hope once the guy marries, he lives far, far away from the kooky mother.

patriciaprescott avatar
Patricia Prescott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is the family from the Philippines by any odd chance? Somehow I just have that feeling. This would be very typical behavior if they are. Totally toxic and abusive behaviors. Listen to Jo Koy on YouTube, you will see what I mean.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope he changed the ring~~no one likes 2nd hand jewelry, unless it's a family piece or antique.

kkathleen517 avatar
kkathleen517
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear Bored Panda: in reference to this post and others like it. Who gives a S H I T. Hey, I got in argument with my mom the other day about some laundry, maybe you guys can send one of your writers out and you can make a post about that too. How about the other post that is about some strangers step mother wanting to name her kid..who gives a rats a*s. I mean, I wish them all the best but damn unless its a friend or family member..come on.

anaelena avatar
Anny
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

curriejg avatar
James G. Currie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope...someone needs to elope... Then a big bash where the families can meet. From the sounds of it, a certain mother may find herself estranged from a certain son...

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, that mom needs to learn her boundaries. P.S. dude, you’re just 21. don’t rush into marriage

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's young, too, so I hope they have a long-ish engagement to work out issues. Starting with the oedipal wreck. The fact that he argued with her is a good start.

Load More Replies...
mbatsouri avatar
Maria Batsouri
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So everything that she can find in your drawer is hers. Propose if you like but my suggestion is to put your money to a new place. Everyone deserves some privacy.

lois-matelan avatar
Lois Matelan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It looks to me like there is a CULTURAL issue here. OP's mother doesn't seem willing to acknowledge that, in the USA, mothers are not generally included in romantic trips with a person's significant other. Also, in the USA, single men do not typically buy diamond rings for their mothers. I think OP needs to have a serious talk with his mother about his and her differing expectations regarding his adult life. As a mother of adults myself, I know it isn't easy to let go of one's children, but she cannot keep treating her adult son like her possession.

emeraldgal28 avatar
Emerald Gal28
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA,you either have a clingy mom cos ur her one and only kid and she has no one else or she's just that possessive mom that will ruin your married life and be the monster in law to your gf. stay away from her.she's toxic like my mom,toxic and cray cray,have 5 kids but she shun all her kid's spouse,the only one marriage that lasted till now is my eldest brother's, that's only cos he cut ties with her. My marriage with my toxic ex is finally over but she insist I get back together with him 'cos I have kids' and I pay for everything like before while he laze at home so I cut ties with her,my new marriage is finally peaceful without hwr manipulation and gaslighting. My youngest brother's marriage disintegrated cos she kept demanding for money when she knows they are saving up to have a kid.so my ex sil gave up and left. The other 2?they are in their late 30s but they gave up on getting married cos she won't allow it, she's collecting their mthly salary and giving them allowances.

esuerc avatar
Daycare Attendant Sun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are there long nails on only two of the fingers? I've only known people who "snort" to have nails like that.

shannonkreider avatar
Notyomama
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What is with these nasty mothers?? Just so pathetic and yucky.

raymond-bille avatar
Emma
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Not just moms but fathers too. My own father in law is a nightmare.

Load More Replies...
zak_1 avatar
zak
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I didn't read the story, I'm just bothered about the main photo where every fingernail is a different length.

faithhurst-bilinski avatar
Bi-Polar Express
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I am very close with my kids. I was not there for either of their proposals and I never once considered I should have been.

the_true_opifex avatar
Katie Lutesinger
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Good grief, if I accidentally (and I stress ACCIDENTALLY, because I do NOT go through other people's stuff!) found a piece of jewellery and assumed it was a present for me, I would leave it right where it was and wait around hopefully to see what happens when my birthday/Christmas comes around. And that's not even half the utterly selfish, rude and creepy s**t this woman got up to. Run in the opposite direction, FAST.

janbowyer avatar
Jan Bowyer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother is a liar and obviously does not have her son's best interests at heart. If he does not set boundaries and stick to them NOW, the girlfriend might just walk. I know I would. The shape of that things to come.

Load More Replies...
storm_and_baby avatar
Lisa T
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Red flag that your mother was wearing the ring and “presumed it was for her”. Also, engagements are a special moment between the couple, and they will also want to have their vacation on their own, too. The engagement party and the wedding are when others can celebrate with them

skidog911 avatar
Kusotare
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This is the story of Oedipus Rex, you may have heard about his odd complex. His name appears in Freud's index, 'cause he looooved his mother. (Bonus points if you know the tune and sang it, either in your head or out loud.)

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Tom Lehrer - brilliant! I pretty much growled out that last line.

Load More Replies...
iblewsheep avatar
iblewsheep
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Most people have no problem understanding someone minimizing or completely eliminating contact with a parent or other family member when it involve regular physical, sexual or extreme emotional abuse, but fail to understand that it does not need to be anywhere near that extreme to be toxic enough to warrant distancing oneself from them. If you regularly feel disregarded, disrespected, and/or dismissed, etc. that's enough. You can try expressing how you feel, but chances are that will not go well.

huladancer_2004 avatar
Terri Atterbury
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Don't be surprised when your mom shows up to your wedding in a white bridal-type dress!

pennylost avatar
Penny Lost
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Next thing you know, she'll be throwing a fit that she doesn't get to go on their honeymoon with them. With mothers like that there is only one piece of advice: run, Neo, run.

debndean241 avatar
Some guy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

And, like Frankenstein's monster, she'll threaten to "be with [them] on [their] wedding night."

Load More Replies...
janbowyer avatar
Jan Bowyer
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The mother seems jealous of the relationship with the girlfriend. I'd say her next step is to sabotage the relationship so (she thinks) she can get rid of the girlfriend. This toxic relationship is pure Howard Wolowitz.

dpopknight avatar
Diane Knight
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I might return the ring and get a simple one to exchange for the one the girl chooses for herself, as she will be wearing it 'forever' , which eliminates the possibility of "well I wore it first' from Mum. (yeah creepy). Many jewelry stores offer that option, as the woman has her own taste and for some guys, relieves them of the pressure of 'what would she like?'.... the proviso, he picks the size of the stone(s), she picks the setting. That's how my hubby did it.

gemmelltastic avatar
Got Myself 4 Pandas
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why is she going through her adult son's drawers? Even if she did think he bought her a birthday gift why would she just take it instead of waiting to be given it? Why would she think either he or his girlfriend would want her there for a proposal? Why would she think that what she wants even matters in such a scenario? There's so much wrong with this whole situation and that woman needs to get into her head she isn't the main character in everyone's life

katejones_1 avatar
Kate Jones
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

seriously wth is with these crazy mothers? first off, even if the ring was a gift to her....do you go and take something that's supposed to be a gift for you? no you wait until it's given to you. Second, why does she need to go on a romantic vacation with you? I swear there's a weird thing that happens with single mothers where they treat their sons like their husbands and then get all hurt when the son ends up giving affection to another woman--they act like he's cheating on them. Like...he's not your boyfriend, lady! This poor girl marrying into this had better get some guidelines clear right out the gate. It's going to get worse when kids become involved if they don't. At least it sounds like the son is trying to have a separation. But the fact he needs to ask if he's the bad guy here makes me a little worried.

debndean241 avatar
Some guy
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

He's thinking along the right lines, which at this point is the most important thing. Remember, he's a 21-year-old kid dealing with this c**p. I can't blame him for wanting some feedback at least.

Load More Replies...
mybeautifulparanoiax avatar
toxxic
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

A lot of people asking why she would think the ring was for her, not enough asking why tf she just took the ring even if she thought it would be for her

camlynn1234 avatar
Miss Frankfurter
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why does she think she has the right to be in his room without his permission? It’s HIS room. She should not be going in without asking him first. Secondly, thinking she has the right to go through his things? Absolutely not. Maybe he should have turned around and just gone into her room and go through her stuff. Geez mom, how do you like that? He’d probably be told he has no business doing that. She may be his mom, but that doesn’t mean she’s a necessarily healthy person to have in your life. Sometimes you have to cut and run. CUT AND RUN. If he doesn’t, his marriage will not end well before it starts. She will purposely keep putting a wedge in there until his wife can’t stand it and here comes the ultimatum. This can be avoided by cutting mom completely, and forever, out of his life.

ericgibbs avatar
Eric G
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA. I stopped talking for the most part to my mom about 3 years ago and I couldn't be happier. She was toxic and everything was always about her. Even when you did something nice, there was always a massive complaint. Just because they're your parents doesn't mean you have to put up with their toxicity

anb1388 avatar
Allison B
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Definitely NTA. The mom is creepy and weird. If he doesn't get away from her if he and his girlfriend do get married gf is going to be posting on JNMIL very soon after.

fuyu avatar
fu yu
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This mother is weird. I hope once the guy marries, he lives far, far away from the kooky mother.

patriciaprescott avatar
Patricia Prescott
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is the family from the Philippines by any odd chance? Somehow I just have that feeling. This would be very typical behavior if they are. Totally toxic and abusive behaviors. Listen to Jo Koy on YouTube, you will see what I mean.

tarsa13 avatar
CL Rowan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I hope he changed the ring~~no one likes 2nd hand jewelry, unless it's a family piece or antique.

kkathleen517 avatar
kkathleen517
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Dear Bored Panda: in reference to this post and others like it. Who gives a S H I T. Hey, I got in argument with my mom the other day about some laundry, maybe you guys can send one of your writers out and you can make a post about that too. How about the other post that is about some strangers step mother wanting to name her kid..who gives a rats a*s. I mean, I wish them all the best but damn unless its a friend or family member..come on.

anaelena avatar
Anny
Community Member
1 year ago

This comment has been deleted.

curriejg avatar
James G. Currie
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Nope...someone needs to elope... Then a big bash where the families can meet. From the sounds of it, a certain mother may find herself estranged from a certain son...

zeljkoklaric78_1 avatar
Bernd Herbert
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA, that mom needs to learn her boundaries. P.S. dude, you’re just 21. don’t rush into marriage

viviane_katz avatar
-
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I think it's young, too, so I hope they have a long-ish engagement to work out issues. Starting with the oedipal wreck. The fact that he argued with her is a good start.

Load More Replies...
mbatsouri avatar
Maria Batsouri
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

So everything that she can find in your drawer is hers. Propose if you like but my suggestion is to put your money to a new place. Everyone deserves some privacy.

lois-matelan avatar
Lois Matelan
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It looks to me like there is a CULTURAL issue here. OP's mother doesn't seem willing to acknowledge that, in the USA, mothers are not generally included in romantic trips with a person's significant other. Also, in the USA, single men do not typically buy diamond rings for their mothers. I think OP needs to have a serious talk with his mother about his and her differing expectations regarding his adult life. As a mother of adults myself, I know it isn't easy to let go of one's children, but she cannot keep treating her adult son like her possession.

emeraldgal28 avatar
Emerald Gal28
Community Member
1 year ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

NTA,you either have a clingy mom cos ur her one and only kid and she has no one else or she's just that possessive mom that will ruin your married life and be the monster in law to your gf. stay away from her.she's toxic like my mom,toxic and cray cray,have 5 kids but she shun all her kid's spouse,the only one marriage that lasted till now is my eldest brother's, that's only cos he cut ties with her. My marriage with my toxic ex is finally over but she insist I get back together with him 'cos I have kids' and I pay for everything like before while he laze at home so I cut ties with her,my new marriage is finally peaceful without hwr manipulation and gaslighting. My youngest brother's marriage disintegrated cos she kept demanding for money when she knows they are saving up to have a kid.so my ex sil gave up and left. The other 2?they are in their late 30s but they gave up on getting married cos she won't allow it, she's collecting their mthly salary and giving them allowances.

esuerc avatar
Daycare Attendant Sun
Community Member
1 year ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Why are there long nails on only two of the fingers? I've only known people who "snort" to have nails like that.

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