There are very obvious red flags that show up right away and are a clear sign that the relationship isn’t worth developing. But most of the time, the red flags are more subtle and are easier to dismiss as a one-off thing or a not-so-serious character flaw that doesn’t mean anything. Those subtle signs are the most important to catch as they may indicate that the person is hiding something more serious.
People on Reddit discussed what are some red flags that are related to cooking that might mean that the person isn’t the right fit. Many of them not only shared what cooking habits they find alarming, but they also spoke about signs that, from their own experience, were red flags.
Would you add anything to this list? Which habit that people mentioned do you think is a solid sign to rethink the relationship? Let us know in the comments!
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There was a letter to an advice column years ago, from a woman convinced her mother in law was slightly poisoning her every time they went to her house for dinner.
After every meal she grew violently ill and threw up/had diarrhea.
When she told her husband her suspicion he said she was crazy. His mother was a saint who adored her and would die before hurting her.
The advice columnist urged the wife to swap her plate with her husband’s during the next dinner. The woman wrote back saying she followed the advice and it was her husband who became violently ill after the meal.
When she told him what she’d done she said he looked at her with such loathing she realized he’d suspected what his mom was doing all along but, instead of standing up for her, he decided to gaslight her about her suspicions to avoid upsetting his mom.
Talk about your red flags.
I found the original: Dear Prudence, My mother-in-law hates me and makes no bones about it when she and I are alone. My husband doesn’t believe me, and she even gloats about that. We have to attend family functions at her home about once a month. (It used to be more frequent, but after I put my foot down, my husband agreed that monthly would be sufficient.) The problem is that after each visit, I wind up with a bad case of diarrhea; my husband does not. I don’t know if the other in-laws are affected, because if I asked, it would get back to her. I suspect that my mother-in-law is putting something in my food or drink. Last time, I barely made it home before being struck down. Now I am considering getting some “adult undergarments” to make sure I don’t ruin the car’s upholstery on the ride home from her place. Do you have any other advice? —Running for the Hills
Refusing to regularly take over the responsibility for providing meals.
God bless him, my late father could *not* cook. He could manage a few basics, would help by fixing sides dishes, but anything more complicated, well.... Nope.
That said both he and my Mom worked fairly long days at not-easy jobs. Still, Mom was usually the one who was responsible for dinner.
But there were evenings when Mom walked in the door, dropped her bad, and announced, " I'm not cooking."
Dad, while hopeless at cooking, was not stupid, and replied with, " Where do you want to go?"
Yes, we were lucky to be able to eat out regularly. But that aside, that one exchange was a fantastic example of how they stayed married for nearly 40 years.
It didn't matter that Dad couldn't cook; what mattered was that it was no longer Mom's problem.
We usually went out to a typical family restaurant. But sometimes it was McDonalds. Sometimes we ordered pizza. Sometimes it was declared an "every man for himself" night, and everybody, including us kids, just fixed ourselves something.
But the big thing was Dad was always willing to take over for Mom when needed. And *that* was why it worked.
I cook a lot for my family. Occasionally my parents will do the cooking.
When they don’t know how to cook, refuse to cook, but are super picky when you cook for them. Nope nope nope
I once decided to cook for a girl I was dating. It was pretty fresh at the time, third time I had seen her. I thought it might be nice to cook, have a wine and chat etc. as you do. While I was cooking she told me to stop talking so much and hurry up because she was hungry in a rude, annoyed tone. That turned me off to the point I didn’t see her again after that night!
That a*****e on YouTube who is tricking his vegetarian wife into loving the taste of meat.
Sneaking animal products into things she believes is meat free.
Huge piece of s**t. Unless it's all b******t for getting views, then mild piece of s**t.
Being a full grown adult that waits to be cooked for. Knowing full well, his spouse might also be working full time. But they won't lift a finger to grab dinner on the way home or if already home toss something in the microwave.
You cook and they dont help clean
Well, when I cook, I use minimum dishes and tidy up while cooking. My better half on the other hand leaves the kitchen like a tornado hit it, so I do refuse to clean up after she cooks.
Touching the oven when I'm cooking. Had a friend "fix" the oven while I was reverse searing ribeyes a few years back so they'd cook faster. You know what happens to a ribeye when you leave it in the oven at 375 for an hour?
She did the same to a rack of ribs on another occasion. Saw that the grill was set to low and thought "That can't be right." Jacked it up to high without telling anybody, and treated us to a nice rack of charcoal chips for dinner.
She should have learned the first time. If she was my friend, she would get a blunt warning to not mess with my cooking again.
Haven’t seen cleanliness yet.
I’m not talking about pots, pans and dishes after (that should be negotiated or depends on who invited who. But one should always offer to help).
I’m talking about during preparation and cooking. For example, if you handle raw meat, you should use soap and warm water before touching anything else. Any possible contamination on a counter top, …
We were at a bbq and thankfully I was watching while he started brushing sauce from the bag (where the raw meat came from) onto the fully cooked chicken he was just about to serve! Salmonella anyone??
I knew a guy who dropped his $1 bottle of spaghetti sauce, jar broke in the bag. He goes and makes spaghetti…. With sauce. We ask if this is the same sauce…. Yup! He just pulled the chunks of glass out of it 😳. I do not eat that spaghetti or anything he cooked after that
Saying they are allergic to some ingredients but later admit they "just don't like the texture."
I get the texture thing, I hate mushy slimy myself. But ffs don't pull the "I am allergic to mushrooms/peas/onions/tomatoes" thing.
And don't give others grief if they don't like the texture. I hate the texture of onions. Can't stand them. Don't even like to see them. If I had a dollar for every time someone gave me $H!T about it, I'd be able to hire someone to destroy all the onions in the world.
people who won’t eat leftovers
This can very much depend. My husband won't eat leftovers because the leftovers he was fed as a child were the result of the cheapest nastiest sh1t that he barely ate it before it became leftovers. Oh, and his leftovers weren't what was left in the dish unserved, they were the scraping back off the plate. So yeah, we don't do leftovers, thanks for your judgment.
But... he's not in that situation anymore, and that's (presumably) not what leftovers would be in your home today. I don't see the logic in your argument. 🤷🏼♂️
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Sometimes. I have a few dishes in my rotation where this is true. Some other dishes (whether cooked at home or from a restaurant) it's a no.
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My issue with leftovers is texture and when it's not reheated properly. I'm on the spectrum and have major issues with food texture. People have their reasons, maybe ask why it is before judging,
That's a shitty excuse for being wasteful. It's not hard to prepare leftovers to either have the same qualities as freshly made or to use them to cook something else.
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Yesterday I made butternut soup; I had a bowl last night, a bowl tonight and I will have the last bowl tomorrow. I don't keep leftovers longer than 2 days. Usually I'd freeze the 2 extra bowls but my freezer is full!
This drives me insane. I don’t have the energy to cook every night and at first, my husband was against having the same dinner twice in a row. After 18 years, he’s rarely that bad now. And good thing, because no way would it have been 18 years so far, if he didn’t grow out of that nonsense.
Uneaten leftovers in my house go straight to my birds (chickens and ducks). They always appreciate it!
Some things are not good leftovers. French fries are a case in point. Fresh or nothing. Soups are actually better the next day. Pasta needs a certain care. No microwave, but refried spaghetti is actually very good, especially if you can caramelize the crust (they are like inverted "pasta al forno"). I am actually good enough now that when I cook for my wife and I any leftovers are planned.
I agree with this if it is a flat refusal owing to some sort of pompous and/or "too good for that" attitude........ but to and for all of the folks who refuse leftovers because of ANY form of trauma triggering, I say F*CK ALL OF THESE AZZHOLES WITH A "JUST SUCK IT UP" ATTITUDE. Trauma of any sort, while NOT to be misused as cover for the aforementioned grandiosity or used for excuses, ought *never* be glazed over.... :-(
It's a bad mindset to fall into self-pity instead of working towards post-traumatic growth. I myself have food related trauma from being forced to eat earthworms as a child and yet I have trained myself to eat cereal with milk again despite having a fear of worms in it.
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If there's a legitimate issue (someone here mentioned texture aversion) that's one thing, but to everyone who's getting indignant about this one, the big red flag is people who throw away edible food purely because they can afford to throw away edible food.
Just because they are spoiled and have an attitude I'm better that that..
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My mom's idea of leftovers was "throw them all in one pan and heat them. After all, it all goes to the same place." So we'd end up with spaghetti and mashed potatoes and Hamburger Helper and moo goo Gai pan all mixed together. It was disgusting. But now I do the cooking, and the leftovers are not mixed with random things. I love them. Dinner takes 10 minutes instead of 2 hours.
Sorry. Bad experiences as a child literally ruined my stomach lining and screwed up my head souch, I can't eat leftovers that are more than 12 to 18 hours old. My throat locks up, and I start to gag. Thank goodness my kids don't have my stupid issues.
I'm a little repulsed by leftovers, not sure why. But if I'm going to insist on fresh food when there are plenty of leftovers in the fridge, I expect nobody other than myself to cook that meal.
K but it’s awkward cuz we all order takeout together then no one wants to be that b***h who ate the last of the good stuff so the last bit ussually ends up going moldy or thrown out…
Sometimes leftovers taste better after reheating. The cooked flavor mariantes.
I PLAN on having leftovers. I've almost always got single serving portions of spaghetti sauce in the freezer. If I cook steak (London Broil usually) I make French dips with the leftovers. I try to get at least 2 meals out of everything I cook. My Mom has to use serious portion control because her husband won't eat leftovers. He's never once cooked for HER, either (they've been married 20 years).
My DH said, when I met him) that he would never eat leaf overs. So I told him I had cooked extra so we could have it again, another night :-) But when I met his Mum,. I understood! She used to leave the left overs uncovered on the open kitchen window sill and simply WARM then again for the next meal :-(
I make lunches and/or dinners in the beginning of the week for the long busy work weekdays so we have something quick and healthy to eat
Load More Replies... I will often cook or order more than required for the leftovers. Not just so I only need to reheat for a couple of days, but also because I often find that leftovers taste better and have more flavour after they sat for a bit. It’s a big part of why I enjoy going to my sisters for dinner or whatever. She cooks or presents great food, but really has a thing about left overs. So I often get to head home with the delicious food and also the tips on how to best reheat the food if it’s not an obvious type of reheat. I would also like to add that this love of leftovers is a new adult type of love. Growing up it was not the same thing. Next day Kraft Dinner (Macaroni & Cheese is how my southern neighbours refer to it I believe) isn’t overly pleasing unless you have a metal stomach & no taste buds.
I don't throw away food, unless it's really not great to eat the next day. We eat leftovers about once a week (not plate scraps). But I always make something nice from them, add fresh ingredients, mix and match. The kids love it. Even their friends when they want to stay for dinner. I feel it's a missed opportunity when people thow away good food, waste of resources and waste of money. But it's up to them to decide.
The amount of money my brother wastes because he and his family not only won't eat left-overs, but also eat most of their meals at restaurants. This is why the rest of the family rolls their eyes at him when he cries poor. No, I won't help him financially so he can use the money on $25 entrees he won't finish and then toss the doggie bag when it goes bad. (He always takes a doggie bag but they never eat it, go figure.)
I'll eat leftovers if they were put up soon after in appropriate containers in the refrigerator. But that's just from my days of working in a kitchen and learning so much about how bacteria grows if left out too long before being refrigerated.
Wasting food is foolish. Unless the leftovers are not handled properly and are left out, etc.
I have a hard time with reheated meat. Especially chicken. It tastes disgusting if it’s microwaved. Pork is almost unsalvageable the day after.
i don’t have a problem/issue eating leftovers, however, certain things i will not eat as a leftover
The only leftovers I'll eat are the ones I've cooked myself. I have food trauma, I fully understand and accept that, but I don't, and will likely never, trust leftovers that someone else has cooked.
I can't eat leftovers cause sensory issues. It annoys the c**p out of me but that's how it is.
I don’t care for leftovers unless they have been transformed into a new meal.
I heard of a well off family that any left overs went in the garbage. That’s disgusting. Have someone give it to a homeless shelter if it’s allowed. If they could come to your home to eat it, you should be able to take to them. 😢
My son doesn't "do" leftovers, and I am very fussy about it too. It's just not the same.
My kids prefer my leftovers for their lunches. Everyone here likes my cooking.
Into the freezer, then thaw a batch, puree in the food processor, dry in the oven, and grind. Bullion!
I completely understand some people don't. Sometimes, I don't, but it has to be so bad that even my dog hates the fridge.
Yeah, if it's something that would still be good reheated later I'd never waste it, but not everything is that.
I am selective about the leftovers I eat, because some things suck leftover. If I'm cooking something that is GOOD leftover, I'll make enough to have leftovers, but if I'm not going to enjoy the meal when it's reheated, I try to make just enough how a single meal
If you are poor and this is the food you got and it is this or be hungry, then I don't want to hear anything. eat your food.
Nope, my husband has never lowered himself to eat leftovers. So he thinks.
If people can afford to throw away $$ let them they earned the money it's their business. Unfortunately some people can't afford to throw edible food out. An alternative of course is to manage yield - only make enough that it will all be eaten.
depends. sometimes i will refuse to eat the leftovers of a certain dish like pasta (cuz it always ends up tasting bad somehow when j microwave it lol) but leftover rice? sure
My husband can eat the same meal for a week and regularly overcooks so there are leftovers. Meanwhile my daughter won’t eat the same meal twice in a week. It’s an ongoing saga…
My husband buys loads of takeout saying it's tomorrow's lunch. It sits in the refrigerator for days until he finally eats it - or throws it out. Honestly, he wastes so much food and money.
My husband buys a lot of take out and says it's tomorrow's lunch, but the stuff sits in the refrigerator for days.. Sometimes he'll eat it, other times he throws it out. Honestly...
There are ways to get over childhood trauma. Leftovers, in my opinion, would be an easy one to overcome.
I love to cook. My ex-boyfriend was a really picky eater. So i tried to make things without the ingredients he doesnt like. But several times after i cooked he said "im just gonna order something". I know it sounds like im a bad cook, but thats not the case. I worked in a kitchen for years and my friends all love my food. I still get pissed when i think about the time i just wanted him to tast my soup, just a little spoon. He refused because he was gonna order shoarma and didnt wanna ruin the 'before taste'.
If they are purposefully cooking things that their partner does not like or worse, that they are allergic to.
Well deppending on the case this might be a good thing, when i was a kid ( toddler ) i was alérgic to eegs, só my pediatritian advised my Mother to give me just a bit of egg every now and again, and it did work, i can eat eggs with no isues whatsoever, of course i only had a light reaction, and my Mother was advised by a doctor, don't f*****g do the same to a person that hás severe alergies, you might kill the poor bastard lol.
Making fun of your diet restrictions.
I get it often because I'm allergic to peppercorns. No I don't sneeze. Yes I could die with a large enough quantity. Sorry you've never heard of someone's throat closing up from pepper but I assure you I'm not lying. Please don't try to test me; small amounts will only give slight breathing issues but I really enjoy breathing normal. It's not cute mocking me or slowly pushing the pepper shaker or grinder slowly towards me.
The last time I saw this question posted, a guy responded saying that his wife only makes one thing at a time when making a meal. Mashed potatoes until they’re done, then beginning the meat, etc. He hadn’t had a hot meal in years. That comment still haunts me.
Not having any spices at all in your kitchen
I always say that a good, varied spice cabinet is an investment. Learn how to use them properly and you can make anything taste amazing, even if you're broke and eating spaghetti for the fifth night in a row. I always make sauces from scratch because it's cheaper and I have the spices for it.
Not being the one who's chore it is to clean something doesn't give you license to make more work than necessary for someone else. It's a huge red flag when you and your partner have the alternating "one cooks, other cleans" chore cycle and your partner completely *trashes* the kitchen every time it's their turn to cook. I'm talking leaving out ingredients, spilling and splashing stuff everywhere, dirtying way more cookware than needed, or cooking in a way that leaves burnt on residue so you have to deep clean.
When I was still married to my ex I always tried to keep things neat when I cooked and he always left a huge mess. Turns out its a big warning sign that they don't value your time or have consideration for your feelings.
Being a full-grown adult who doesn’t know how to cook
Depends. A young adult, just left the nest, might not have been taught. If willing to learn, great. An adult who can follow recipe instructions but is a meh cook due to lack of interest, as long as honest and appreciative of others cooking, fine. An adult who doesn't know how to cook even the simplest thing and refuses to learn on the other hand...
Not necessarily cooking but it's a pet peeve of mine when people buy things and just, don't eat them but throw them away... watched my ex purchase a wonderful looking ice cream, sit and let it melt for half an hour, then get up and throw it away.
My ex wife wanted to make meatloaf when we were first married. I was like cool I love meatloaf. So she pulled this meatloaf out of the oven when I got home. It was a slightly charred sad looking meatball floating in grease. She was apologetic about it but I didn't say s**t about it. I have never complained about her cooking anything. I made meatloaf a few weeks later and she loved it and wanted to know what I put in it. I told her and asked her how she makes meatloaf. She said you take some meat and put it in a pan. No egg, salt, pepper, ketchup. Just meat. I was like yep this is going to take some work. Turns out she was overconfident about everything and just winged it.
When they put your best knives in the dishwasher
Cough ... I recently ruined a knife with a wooden handle by putting it in the dishwasher then leaving it unemptied for I don't know how long
My ex thought that "browning" ground meat meant leaving it in the fridge til it turned brown.
someone who judges my personal tastes so strongly that they allow it to threaten a (potential) relationship
And the two above this for me qre not trusting or liking people who dont eat pizza or use garlic or garlic powder. Irony.
Saying that MSG is extremely bad for food.
Note: this post originally had 40 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I was slow smoking racks of ribs on my outdoor grill one holiday weekend, as usual. One of my next-door neighbor's guests came out on her porch and said: "Grandma, your barbecue smells wonderful! I can't wait for supper!" "THAT'S NOT MINE!!!!" was angrily shouted from inside her place. I had to go inside to laugh.
Mine was asking my partner if she wanted some of the food I was going to prepare, she says no, waits till it's cooked then decide that she wants some. Drives me crazy, sharing means that I'm now hungry because I have only eaten half of a meal, cooking more in anticipation of this nonsense means that we end up wasting food because sometimes she does not actually want some.
My wife used to do this too so I'm glad I'm not alone. I'd say I was going to make something and ask if she wanted any. She'd say no so I ask if she's sure and she'd say no again. Inevitably she'd then come into the kitchen and say "that smells nice, is there enough for me to have some". I'd share but as I was only cooking one portion there was never enough. In the end I just started to refuse, saying I asked her several times beforehand and there just isn't enough (which was true). Thankfully it doesn't happen anymore but it had to put up with a few silent treatments before it sunk in.
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No one mentioned using a cast iron skillet and then leaving it soaking in the sink instead of cleaning it.
it's ok if they're doing that to loosen the gunk from the ribs in the pan. If however they leave it there indefinitely that is a no go
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Not sure if red flag, but it annoys me really a lot - when someone grabs salt, pepper, or any kind of seasoning and starts to season his meal without tasting it first. Ugh
When I cook, my husband cleans. He usually cleans, anyway. But he enjoys cleaning (has told me so, genuinely, on several occasions). He does most of the cleaning, laundry, and childcare at home, as he's disabled, and doesn't work. I'm the breadwinner. I'm also neurodivergent, and he knows how exhausting the world can be for me. So when I come home, he wants me to rest, while he takes care of me. I have a winner. 😊❤️ I do make a bit of a mess sometimes, when I cook. But I try to at least wipe the counters (and any spills), rinse the dishes I use, and stack them neatly in the sink, lol.
I'm a great cook. My ex mil was not a good cook. So everytime I cooked my ex would say don't make that again. Before I left him I was making hamburger helper 5 days a week. He had also heard that you put spices in your cooking at the end. I could not get him to understand that was for fresh spices not dried. His spaghetti sauce was can of tomato sauce heated then spices thrown in for about 2 mins (dried spices) then served it over noodles. It was horrible. But he thought it was the most fantastic meal. Note: red flag for relationships and cooking if they put ketchup on something before even tasting it they didn't grow up eating or learning to cook food with flavor. My ex and ex-mil both would put ketchup on their food before tasting when mil cooked. I never understood till the first time I ate her cooking. Bad just plain bad cooking. Roast cooked on a top of the stove. Not oven not crock pot. In a fry pan. Nope
My ex-husband did so many weird things on our first date that should have been red flags but I somehow overlooked them. No regrets as I can't imagine my world wo my children. Not food related but for starters he would not tell me where we were going and told me to dress casual. I asked what casual was to him, he said Jeans wo holes and clean sneakers. Ok fine. I was nicely dressed but he showed up in a suit and tie and I was very under dressed for the restaurant. Then the reservation was in my name. He made it but used me name. But the biggest thing was when he ordered he asked that every item he placed on it own plate as apparently he did not like his foods to touch! He also ate one plate at a time until it was done. So all the meat then all the potatoes then all the veggies. I was young and thought it was weird but funny. It was a huge read flag hitting me in my naive face. When someone shows you who they are believe them!
Not disagreeing with you on the other stuff, but the seprate plate thing could be a sensory issues thing. Even if it wasn't for him, it often is, in general. I have sensory issues, and I don't like certain foods touching, because the juices from one change the taste/texture of another. I have divided plates at home, lol. I don't always ask for seprate plates, at a restaurant. But if I'm getting something that has a lot.of juices, like a steak, I will politely ask that my fries be served separately.
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About 40 years ago, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner. He asked that I start the cooking while he showered. He had something I'd never seen before called Hamburger Helper. So I browned the beef and was draining the grease when he returned. He asked what I was doing. He had apparently never bothered removing excess grease from ground beef before.
Hair! And over reacting! And all the variety of this. The fine line from tolerating "that one hair found once", to "every single time" "in every damn plate", to "demanding that you should get dressed like an astronaut every time you cook because of this one incident two years ago"
my red flag: person only liked really bland food, like plain rice. I mean, food is life. If you're going to do that then why bother living at all?
Autism, mate. Pretty rude to say someone shouldn't live because they prefer plainer food tastes.
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#14. I don't see this as a red flag. For example, I hate mayonnaise (and most other sauces) in sandwiches to the extent I'd rather starve than eat it. And simply requesting no mayo in the sandwich from fast food places doesn't work, most times they ignore the request and I end up with mayo in a sandwich I won't eat. I've had to specify I'm allergic to mayo in order for them to get my order correct. #36. He sounds like a huge a*****e tbh. His wife cooks dinner and has to see about a baby and he's complaining that the cleanliness of the place isn't up to his standards? Taking care of a child and dinner is absolutely not easy work. How hard is is to pitch in help instead of complaining. Working doesn't excuse anything when it's also your child, your household and your dinner.
How are most of these red flags? Most of these problems seem to stem from people never having been corrected, maybe never having anyone teach them. Did they at least TRY to talk about how to treat the knives, or how to season things, before judging the other person? I am glad for people who are brought up to know "everything" about cooking, but isn't the worst Red flag for a relationship when the person who CAN won't teach/help out the person who CAN'T? Otherwise, it's just a matter of superiority and prejudice.
I was using my nice little paring knife to debone some meat. A few days later I couldn't find the knife and realized I tossed it in the trash with the scraps I removed. I dug through the trash until I found the stinking mass of slimy decaying fat and found my knife. Took a while to clean the handle. Wife thought I was nuts, but I like that little knife.
I was slow smoking racks of ribs on my outdoor grill one holiday weekend, as usual. One of my next-door neighbor's guests came out on her porch and said: "Grandma, your barbecue smells wonderful! I can't wait for supper!" "THAT'S NOT MINE!!!!" was angrily shouted from inside her place. I had to go inside to laugh.
Mine was asking my partner if she wanted some of the food I was going to prepare, she says no, waits till it's cooked then decide that she wants some. Drives me crazy, sharing means that I'm now hungry because I have only eaten half of a meal, cooking more in anticipation of this nonsense means that we end up wasting food because sometimes she does not actually want some.
My wife used to do this too so I'm glad I'm not alone. I'd say I was going to make something and ask if she wanted any. She'd say no so I ask if she's sure and she'd say no again. Inevitably she'd then come into the kitchen and say "that smells nice, is there enough for me to have some". I'd share but as I was only cooking one portion there was never enough. In the end I just started to refuse, saying I asked her several times beforehand and there just isn't enough (which was true). Thankfully it doesn't happen anymore but it had to put up with a few silent treatments before it sunk in.
Load More Replies... No one mentioned using a cast iron skillet and then leaving it soaking in the sink instead of cleaning it.
it's ok if they're doing that to loosen the gunk from the ribs in the pan. If however they leave it there indefinitely that is a no go
Load More Replies... Not sure if red flag, but it annoys me really a lot - when someone grabs salt, pepper, or any kind of seasoning and starts to season his meal without tasting it first. Ugh
When I cook, my husband cleans. He usually cleans, anyway. But he enjoys cleaning (has told me so, genuinely, on several occasions). He does most of the cleaning, laundry, and childcare at home, as he's disabled, and doesn't work. I'm the breadwinner. I'm also neurodivergent, and he knows how exhausting the world can be for me. So when I come home, he wants me to rest, while he takes care of me. I have a winner. 😊❤️ I do make a bit of a mess sometimes, when I cook. But I try to at least wipe the counters (and any spills), rinse the dishes I use, and stack them neatly in the sink, lol.
I'm a great cook. My ex mil was not a good cook. So everytime I cooked my ex would say don't make that again. Before I left him I was making hamburger helper 5 days a week. He had also heard that you put spices in your cooking at the end. I could not get him to understand that was for fresh spices not dried. His spaghetti sauce was can of tomato sauce heated then spices thrown in for about 2 mins (dried spices) then served it over noodles. It was horrible. But he thought it was the most fantastic meal. Note: red flag for relationships and cooking if they put ketchup on something before even tasting it they didn't grow up eating or learning to cook food with flavor. My ex and ex-mil both would put ketchup on their food before tasting when mil cooked. I never understood till the first time I ate her cooking. Bad just plain bad cooking. Roast cooked on a top of the stove. Not oven not crock pot. In a fry pan. Nope
My ex-husband did so many weird things on our first date that should have been red flags but I somehow overlooked them. No regrets as I can't imagine my world wo my children. Not food related but for starters he would not tell me where we were going and told me to dress casual. I asked what casual was to him, he said Jeans wo holes and clean sneakers. Ok fine. I was nicely dressed but he showed up in a suit and tie and I was very under dressed for the restaurant. Then the reservation was in my name. He made it but used me name. But the biggest thing was when he ordered he asked that every item he placed on it own plate as apparently he did not like his foods to touch! He also ate one plate at a time until it was done. So all the meat then all the potatoes then all the veggies. I was young and thought it was weird but funny. It was a huge read flag hitting me in my naive face. When someone shows you who they are believe them!
Not disagreeing with you on the other stuff, but the seprate plate thing could be a sensory issues thing. Even if it wasn't for him, it often is, in general. I have sensory issues, and I don't like certain foods touching, because the juices from one change the taste/texture of another. I have divided plates at home, lol. I don't always ask for seprate plates, at a restaurant. But if I'm getting something that has a lot.of juices, like a steak, I will politely ask that my fries be served separately.
Load More Replies... About 40 years ago, my boyfriend invited me over for dinner. He asked that I start the cooking while he showered. He had something I'd never seen before called Hamburger Helper. So I browned the beef and was draining the grease when he returned. He asked what I was doing. He had apparently never bothered removing excess grease from ground beef before.
Hair! And over reacting! And all the variety of this. The fine line from tolerating "that one hair found once", to "every single time" "in every damn plate", to "demanding that you should get dressed like an astronaut every time you cook because of this one incident two years ago"
my red flag: person only liked really bland food, like plain rice. I mean, food is life. If you're going to do that then why bother living at all?
Autism, mate. Pretty rude to say someone shouldn't live because they prefer plainer food tastes.
Load More Replies... #14. I don't see this as a red flag. For example, I hate mayonnaise (and most other sauces) in sandwiches to the extent I'd rather starve than eat it. And simply requesting no mayo in the sandwich from fast food places doesn't work, most times they ignore the request and I end up with mayo in a sandwich I won't eat. I've had to specify I'm allergic to mayo in order for them to get my order correct. #36. He sounds like a huge a*****e tbh. His wife cooks dinner and has to see about a baby and he's complaining that the cleanliness of the place isn't up to his standards? Taking care of a child and dinner is absolutely not easy work. How hard is is to pitch in help instead of complaining. Working doesn't excuse anything when it's also your child, your household and your dinner.
How are most of these red flags? Most of these problems seem to stem from people never having been corrected, maybe never having anyone teach them. Did they at least TRY to talk about how to treat the knives, or how to season things, before judging the other person? I am glad for people who are brought up to know "everything" about cooking, but isn't the worst Red flag for a relationship when the person who CAN won't teach/help out the person who CAN'T? Otherwise, it's just a matter of superiority and prejudice.
I was using my nice little paring knife to debone some meat. A few days later I couldn't find the knife and realized I tossed it in the trash with the scraps I removed. I dug through the trash until I found the stinking mass of slimy decaying fat and found my knife. Took a while to clean the handle. Wife thought I was nuts, but I like that little knife.
